Heartset; Can She Be a Human Being?


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She is either the big, bad, controlling monster because she’s a strong, intelligent woman or little Cinderella princess needing the glass slipper put on her foot? Too many men are passive-aggressive about women I suppose because they don’t understand us. We’re neither of those two ends on a linear spectrum. I wonder if men are capable of interpreting relational ideas past duality?

Relating is more complicated than that. Don’t give me the “Men are simple creatures that just need a dog” crap. If you’re going to inflate your ego to the point if feigning vast intelligence, all the top jobs and Nobel Peace Prizes, all the power in public and most of the money and fire women from their position who won’t hook-up with you, then you need to uplevel your brains to friendship with the woman you’re fucking. Then we can share power in public.

Let’s face it. We live in a vampire whored society where everyone is brainwashed to give over their mind and body to marriage, family, church, employer, and state for some money crumbs and the fat cats keep the rest and wait for us to die. Then the funeral homes and cemetery and the rest of the death industry clean up after that. It affects how women and men relate to one another to be sure because we end up in survival mode not thrive mode. That’s not a garden of intimacy.

I’m not and most women are not a misandrist. I just don’t want to have to train my mate the way I train my child. It’s an insult to men and women. We just want the species to survive on the planet, we’re the ones that make, birth, and love the species, and you guys have had your chance for the last 10,000 years. This madness has to stop.

Everyday Intuition; Competition at Home


BOOK FINISHED-Everyday Intuition-COVER JPGI remember feeling viscerally competitive on different levels with my previous mates with whom I lived. A lot of that is caused by sex. It gets you all riled up and thus the testosterone levels go up, especially for women which is not the best hormone to have in big supply. We need to relax. I believe that when you live with someone their energy rubs off on you for good or ill. The same would be true of the people with whom you work. This is not something of which most people are conscious.

When humans get around each other they compete more than anything else. To that end, just this morning, I realized that now that I live alone I am absolutely relaxed and feel no competition whatsoever with anyone. I love it. It really suits me and I’m in no mood to contend, compete, fight, create drama, watch the drama, compare myself to other women, try to match power with a man, or seek a man’s attention who has no real interest or connection to me.

It’s a dream come true to start to feel like I’m safe to inhabit my body and be true to myself in my work and personal life. I wouldn’t trade it for the world. It sure was hard getting to this point. Our world is completely vampiric, I’m here to tell you. Barely anyone is centered inside themselves and most people pull energy from outside of themselves from anything they can get their minds on. Not in my home, not in my office, and not with me.

Peace.

Body; size bias has changed so much in six years


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“Fat’ is usually the first insult a girl throws at another girl when she wants to hurt her. I mean, is ‘fat’ really the worst thing a human being can be? Is ‘fat’ worse than ‘vindictive’, ‘jealous’, ‘shallow’, ‘vain’, ‘boring’ or ‘cruel’? Not to me; but then, you might retort, what do I know about the pressure to be skinny? I’m not in the business of being judged on my looks, what with being a writer and earning my living by using my brain…”-J.K. Rowling

Thin privilege means you’ve proven that you have control over your appetites and just live a healthy good life.  If you force yourself, in any manner possible, to be thin, you have the privilege of hovering over others who are not thin and believing you’re better than them because you control your life, your mind, and your body size at all costs to gain an advantage in every way.  What society and media have done is cover over their addiction to money, sex, fancy houses, food, drugs, etc., because they have no connection to Source/spirituality.  They are using having a thin body as the token for being “in control” of themselves.

However, if you dig a little deeper in thin, rich people’s lives, you’ll see all kinds of things out of control that they are hiding.  They’re playing the materialist game and it will at some point, come tumbling down.  No one on this planet is immune to control issues.  And no one has the right to assert that they are better or of more value on the planet because they can appear to be.  All the world’s a stage and they are certainly the players.  So what they assert is that anyone who is thick and fluffy, for whatever reason, doesn’t matter as much, is not “in control” of themselves, should not make as much money, and are below the thin people in every way.  I don’t think so. Attitudes are changing now.

I’ve already achieved two of my dreams; having a child, and having my own healing practice. I’m convinced, and I’ve heard firsthand accounts from those who have been heavy and are now thin, that when a woman loses weight, her value and amount of “attention and affirmation” go up astronomically from others.  Thin privilege is real.  Some guys say it doesn’t matter when they’re feeling all warm in their heart.  But that’s only one-eighth of the time that they’re feeling warm in their heart.  The rest of the time they’re a stray dog looking for a b….. to hump.  Then it matters! Size usually doesn’t matter to cat-type men, only to the dogs.

Thin, toned women function to easily fulfill the sexual appetite of men or women mostly, in my opinion. Let’s face it. Sex can go quicker, is more intense, you can move better and it’s all pretty animalistic when you’re small.  Thick people have great sex too. I’m not asserting we don’t, but it takes longer. The men get their grounding through the woman, use her, and throw her-sort of like a dementor in Harry Potter when they can get it quickly.  Fat women are self-contained and ground themselves with love through their thickness. The weight pulls on gravity which helps us center our energy like a magnet.  It’s just a theory.  My son said to me, “It seems like fat people are happier Mom”.  Lol. Maybe we’re calmer, less stressed out because we aren’t competing so much or we’re just less materialistic and superficial.  I don’t know.

It’s a diabolical fact in our society that fat people are treated like lepers. It’s because of patriarchy and capitalism. Fat people are offensive to patriarchal men and women.  We’re paid less, viewed as lazy or stupid, unhealthy, an insurance risk, and not touched as much. My ex-husband asked me to lose weight “for him”. That means he was a dog-type man looking for a bitch, which I was not. The whole notion is so incredibly nauseating at how superficial and conditional people are in their acceptance of others. One of my old friends lost a TON of weight (she was bigger than me), and she seems most unhappy now that she’s thin. Sure, physically it’s easier to move, but now she’s realizing what she was hiding from when she was overweight and I think it’s getting to her. She was hiding from superficial bullshit and predatory males!  The same thing happened to my older sister. It’s obvious to me that it’s too easy for women to lose themselves in relationships, others, their kids, their community and ignore their body and their emotional and spiritual needs.

It’s too easy for men to lose themselves in sex, toys, money, and immediate gratification. It turns some men on when a woman loves herself, knows her own mind and needs and loves her body no matter what size it is. I’ve been all sizes in my life. While I’ve been a Mom, I’ve felt very comfy in a thicker body. But now that my son is grown and I want to zip around from 56-104 years old, I think my bones will hold up better if I lighten the load. That said, I’m not going to parade around a different size body like it’s a trophy which degrades those that choose to stay in a thicker body!  To each his own.

For me, I respect a man so much if he can control any of his appetites and learn to spend time with a woman and love a woman in a relationship as a friend. If he can’t, I don’t respect him, no matter how good looking he is, how many degrees he has, money and accolades to boot. Men are going to have to face the fact that unless they can bond monogamously with the woman that really loves and digs him, he’s a failure in societies eyes.

Prose; Adoration Be Damned


pink roses
I’m stalking a case for spring in the autumn of my middle age.

My assembled energy is diametrically opposite that of needing the validation of an amassed group of imposters pretending to agree so they can drink together later.

It’s not that I don’t like the group, or that I don’t occasionally have a very dry martini, I just don’t viscerally need the group. They get exhumed energy from each other; even demand it threatening social castigation, as though there would be any real loss there.

I haven’t figured out how to affix myself to a rumbling male in my present condition.

In addition, my mephitic eighteen-year-old son will be moving out of the house soon to go on his way to sow his oats and beans. My peaceful environment is proliferating.

As I think back on the men/mates I’ve adored and who have adored me, as vain as that sounds, it was called love at the time and then it turned into territorial civil war and possessive jealousy.

I’m pretty sure that uncorked behavior is common and some couples like it that way but some don’t. I don’t.

It’s just that, in this new paradigm of sitting in my body and owning myself, that adoration doesn’t feel like it’s all it’s cracked up to be.

It feels as though I’ve forged an alliance with a fawning cat whose nursing by pushing its paws into my chest.

Maybe it’s just the mood I’m in.

When a man starts to adore me he wants to own me, my time, and my body, like a puppy!

That’s been my experience with every man I’ve been with except this last guy I dated. He left me in the dog house neglected, but at least he didn’t bug me. I know there are all the ideas about giving your mate the space they need, but then the real emotions of amorous desire creep in.

“I want you”, “I adore you”, “I need you”, “I love you”, “I miss you” becomes a medieval prison!

I used to think I wanted to be adored by a man with high self-esteem and all the pheromones I need to be turned on, but now I’m not so sure.

I love my life, my work, my friends, and my home. Maybe all of that adoration would be oppressive! I’d have to respond after all or that would be rude.

Essay; It’s Barely Been 50 Years…


Justice

The following list is of NINE things a woman couldn’t do in 1971 – yes the date is correct, 1971.

In 1971 a woman could not:

1. Get a Credit Card in her own name – it wasn’t until 1974 that a law forced credit card companies to issue cards to women without their husband’s signature.

2. Be guaranteed that they wouldn’t be unceremoniously fired for the offense of getting pregnant – that changed with the Pregnancy Discrimination Act of *1978*!

3. Serve on a jury – It varied by state (Utah deemed women fit for jury duty way back in 1879), but the main reason women were kept out of jury pools was that they were considered the center of the home, which was their primary responsibility as caregivers. They were also thought to be too fragile to hear the grisly details of crimes and too sympathetic by nature to be able to remain objective about those accused of offenses. In 1961, the Supreme Court unanimously upheld a Florida law that exempted women from serving on juries. It wasn’t until 1973 that women could serve on juries in all 50 states.

4. Fight on the front lines – admitted into military academies in 1976 it wasn’t until 2013 that the military ban on women in combat was lifted. Prior to 1973 women were only allowed in the military as nurses or support staff.

5. Get an Ivy League education, with the exceptions of Penn and Cornell, who began admitting women in 1870. Penn and Cornell are large universities and have always accepted hundreds of women in their entering classes. Penn always had a College for Women, which was for counseling purposes only; all classes were mixed, men and women. Classes at Cornell were mixed.
Yale and Princeton didn’t accept female students until 1969. Harvard didn’t admit women until 1977 (when it merged with the all-female Radcliffe College). Brown (which merged with women’s college Pembroke), Dartmouth and Columbia did not offer admission to women until 1971, 1972 and 1981, respectively.
Other case-specific instances allowed some women to take certain classes at Ivy League institutions (such as Barnard women taking classes at Columbia), but so many women in the ’60s who harbored Ivy League dreams had to put them on hold.

6. Take legal action against workplace sexual harassment. Indeed the first time a court recognized office sexual harassment as grounds for any legal action was in 1977!

7. Decide not to have sex if their husband wanted to – spousal rape wasn’t criminalized in all 50 states until 1993. Read that again…1993.

8. Obtain health insurance at the same monetary rate as a man. Sex discrimination wasn’t outlawed in health insurance until 2010 and today many, including sitting elected officials at the Federal level, feel women don’t mind paying a little more. Again, that date was 2010.

9. The birth control pill: Issues like reproductive freedom and a woman’s right to decide when and whether to have children were only just beginning to be openly discussed in the 1960s. In 1957, the FDA approved of the birth control pill but only for “severe menstrual distress.” In 1960, the pill was approved for use as a contraceptive. Even so, the pill was illegal in some states and could be prescribed only to married women for purposes of family planning, and not all pharmacies stocked it. Some of those opposed said oral contraceptives were “immoral, promoted prostitution and were tantamount to abortion.” It wasn’t until several years later that birth control was approved for use by all women, regardless of marital status. In short, birth control meant a woman could complete her education, enter the workforce and plan her own life.

Prior to 1880 the age of consent for sex was set at 10 or 12 years old in more states, with the exception of our neighbor Delaware – where it was 7 YEARS OLD!

Gender equity is NOT just for other women. It’s for all men and women as a human rights issue!

Essay; The Honest Middle Ground


man and woman

My last post, I made the point that I’m not interested in fawning adoration that leads to possessive marriage. Every woman I know is at a different point with this but it has to do with emotional maturity and financial independence. Most women don’t prefer marriage, from what I’ve gathered, unless they’re getting some type of needed security. But most of us aren’t interested in shallow hook-ups either! Some men get this, some don’t. It’s hard to believe. We know respecting a woman may be a turn-off to most men but you have to show respect to most women. We can tell if you’re sincere or not.

I’ll speak for myself

Friendship, attraction, love, and care are what I want and need. It’s the honest middle ground. Women are human beings. Does it really depend on what culture you come from as to whether you treat women as human beings? This needs to be a universal understanding. Possession in marriage, to some of us, is an insult. I’m a free person with my own life, work, and money. I’m not on the planet to soothe a man’s ego just as he is not soothing mine! Promiscuity is a hook-up with a stranger and is also an insult as I’m not a sex toy or the least bit turned on by strange men, for god’s sake. I guess I’m making the assumption that true love in marriage is Disneyland in my view. I know many disagree with me and that’s fine. I’ll entertain the notion but I’ve been married three times and there has never been true love.

Promiscuity or Possession

They are two far ends of the patriarchal spectrum that have been dominating our rules of relationships for hundreds of years. Lack of boundaries on the promiscuity end or lying on the possession end with a double standard applied to women allow men to rule the day. For men, getting continual sex by feigning a relationship via marriage has been the ritual. It also raises their status. For women, getting a fake, romantic relationship by giving sex in marriage has been the way women have manifested their true love; our children. That’s not good for women or children. I prefer mutual love with a man, not my children. Children end up rebelling against their parents anyway as it is nature. Women are adults and our roles and skills exceed motherhood. Children grow up and the parents need to let them go! It’s very dysfunctional not to. It’s a bad deal where no ones needs really get met, thus the divorce rate. That, and barely anyone is telling the truth; women or men.

The Honest Middle Ground

Lovers; Cat-type women could mate with cat-type men. I already posted on it. We tend to be interdependent and intelligent. Being a cat-type woman, I’ve been called strong and stubborn far too much. I am neither of those. In fact, I’m extremely warm, soft, sensitive, and vulnerable inside. It gives me a very strong heart. Stubborn is a misnomer. I know my own mind, what I need and say it and do it myself. That is still extremely taboo in our culture which still places coddling the male ego above everyone and everything else.

Are you a cat or a dog?

Bitches could mate with dog-type men that need a controlling trainer, someone willing to teach them how to be humane and will feed and groom them. If your man tends to be hungry and looks at you like a roast chicken then this may be the one for you. Many women are into this and many men find it sexy. I don’t but that’s because I’m a cat. Still, I don’t judge the bitches! I remember as a young girl realizing I wasn’t willing to function in this role with men. It’s a funny memory and really speaks to my inner nature. I’m finally honoring it without judging myself.

There is Much Wiggle Room

I’m not sure about the rest of the details but they depend on your couple dynamic. Are you polyamorous lovers or monogamous? Cheating on your monogamous girlfriend who is mad at you and has put you out of the house and into the dog house is not a license to be polyamorous by the way. You need to discuss the issue and either move forward or break up. My Twin Flame tried to pull this one. He was treating me like a possible option without telling me a woman with her toothbrush lives with him! I think deep down he’s a cat but he’s acting like a dog at the moment so no doubt he needs a bitch trainer. That’s fine with me. I’m not doing it. He is extremely intelligent, creative, and independent but I think he judges himself for it because most of the men in his culture are not cats. He very much seeks to fit in socially. He does tend to have himself in a provincial, cultural box that makes me want to scream. There is something else holding him up emotionally. I know what it is but I digress. Time will tell.

Men, be careful approaching women you don’t know. Are they cat-like or dog-like? Don’t make assumptions! The same goes for women. You need to know who you’re dealing with and the rest is negotiable.

 

 

 

 

Essay; 10 Reasons It’s Hard For Smart Women To Find Love


1. They aren’t afraid to be by themselves.

Smart women know what they want and aren’t willing to settle for anything less. They know the importance of staying true to themselves and they also realize that sacrificing their needs for the sake of love with the wrong person will only cause resentment in the long run. They do not have to settle out of fear of being alone, or fear of social implications by others’ who do not understand a woman’s ability to be by herself and be happy.

2. They know what they want.

Every woman has a mental “checklist” of what they are looking for in a significant other. A smart woman’s checklist tends to be either longer or more specific than those who want a significant other, just to have a significant other. They know themselves and in turn, know what type of person they can and can’t be with.

3. They don’t need another person to facilitate their lifestyle.

The past portrays that women needed to go straight from their father’s house to their husband’s. In the modern world women no longer need another person to help them live on their own; they may have realized they prefer that alone time. Therefore, knowing that they will eventually have to share that space can be scary for an independent woman.

4. They have other commitments that take priority over dating.

Careers, friendships, family, extra-curricular pursuits, whatever it is that she has going on may not allow for as much time to date as it takes to find the right mate.

5. They are hyper-aware that relationships end and can let their knowledge of the past affect their future potential relationships.

They have a harder time “living in the moment” and do not want to waste their time; as time truly is a valuable asset to a smart woman. They need to know that there is a future and that their potential mate is on the same page.  Marriages, kids, finances, etc.

6. They know that attraction is only half the battle.

Physical attraction is an important aspect of finding love, but smart women understand that attraction is fleeting and can be altered once you see what is underneath.  While a woman’s hormones tend to make the first step towards finding love, smart women understand that it is the intimacy developed (and maintained) by both people that dictate whether or not a relationship can last.

7. They can be intimidating.

When a woman is intelligent she isn’t afraid to stand up and say what she thinks. This is a hard pill for a lot of people to swallow. Whether it’s because they don’t know how to react, or if it’s because they don’t feel they can live up to her expectations; either way, it can be somewhat intimidating for potential lovers and even friends.

8. They understand change.

They don’t pretend that they, and their partners, will be the same person years down the road. They want to grow and they have ambitions for their futures that will change who they are, and ultimately, what they want. Knowing this makes it harder for a woman to commit to a partner for a long period of time.

9. They have a vast understanding of modern dating practices and don’t necessarily like, nor agree, with them.

Dating is no longer a means of survival for women. As stated before, since we no longer need to be passed from father to husband as well as we have the capability to live alone – dating is truly meant to find a companion whom you love and want to share your life, interests, and future with.

10. They know not to trust their hearts with just anyone.

This reason is the culmination of all of the ways it is harder for smart women to find love. Deciding whether someone is worthy of an intelligent woman’s heart is not an easy task and we do not take it lightly. Intelligent women have to weigh the pro’s and con’s and decide if the risk of loving another person is worth the devastation that can occur if it doesn’t work out.

Essay; A Woman’s Ego


 

Woman on a mountain

I originally blogged this on August 26, 2013; 6 years ago.

The book I wrote, “Healer” has a section on gender.  Like most people, I believe that men and women have a tremendous amount in common biologically.  And I really do like most men.  However, socially, on Facebook, and in the town I live in, the more I talk, as a literate person, as an intelligent woman with self-esteem that isn’t a doormat, as a woman who is a small business owner, the more I get called names like “egotistical” and “pathetic”.

So I decided to think about the difference between a woman’s ego and a man’s ego. There are books and articles about a man’s ego all over the place. The “fragile male ego” is well known.  But the woman’s ego?  Imagine, the “fragile female ego” being bandied about.  It’s more like, “New discovery!  Women have an ego! Make a flag for them!”

The definition of the ego is a sense of “yourself” or “self-centered”. Everyone starts out at a young age with a natural inborn sense of who they are as a person unless your parents or religion beat it out of you. That’s possible and maybe prevalent, but not healthy at all. People do tend to feel more secure if they agree with one another.  It’s curious.

A woman…with a sense of “herself”, pride, dignity, accomplished….well, she doesn’t sound very sexy.  Or does she?  Why do I assume she has to sound sexy? If you described a man that way it’s sexy.

There’s our first red flag. Women are given the message early on that their attractiveness as a potential mate, for the purposes of reproduction, should define their sense of self-worth. Thus the obsession with superficial looks as opposed to a big brain, articulateness, education, in essence, the character Amy Farafowler on “Big Bang Theory” (who I love). It’s just starting to catch on. And we are ever so grateful to Dr. Barbie and Corporate Manager Barbie to serve as a role model for young girls.

Yes, women have an ego.  Yes, women have a sense of themselves as an individual. Our needs with regard to education, intelligence, level of respect and pay in the workplace, respect in the home, respect from our sons, access to team sports, et.al are EQUAL to men.

I suppose I’ll spend the rest of my life writing and living an example of a woman with an ego who loves.  You can’t love from emptiness.  You can’t love if your body is falling apart because you’ve given your last ounce of life force to everyone else. Women can be an example of how to take care of ourselves first and then whoever else we prefer to care for.

 

Heartset; The Truth Controlled as a Weapon for Materialism-Part 2


Rumi Water

“There is, however, a significant weakness hiding in the imposing-looking materialist redoubt. It is as simple as it is undeniable: after more than a century of profound explorations into the subatomic world, our best theory for how matter behaves still tells us very little about what matter is.”

 

Here is the link to the full article; Where does consciousness come from?

Defining truth is weaponized when surrounded by religion or state dogma which is dominated by males. The truth is not found in religion or government. The subjective truth is that each of us has our own feelings, experiences, and opinions and for the most part, that’s what we spew as truth. It’s personal. It’s just our truth, no one else’s. However, it’s weaponized by virile, good looking, confident, dominant alpha men who are looking to make a buck. Sometimes they become church leaders and sometimes leaders of a movement that indirectly only wants followers to agree with him. Anyone that disagrees, especially a woman, will be punished and thrown out. They are not interested in discussion and the only women allowed a position in the movement are smiling, not very intelligent, passive women.

Then there is the empathic truth, what we can feel. That is a temporary truth but it is factual because it’s the truth about how you feel at the moment. Feelings rarely, if ever last like a moving stream to the sea so it’s important not to call it love. Love is literal energy and behavior, not feelings. Love is a mindset. I call it heartset.

The rational truth is, who we are as human beings, intelligent, conscious, biological cells are made by our mothers, who are women, and just seeded by men. In fact, the word “matter” comes from that Latin “mater” which means “mother”. It is important to note here that the rational mind is the combination of the right and left hemispheres of the brain which are intuitive and analytical. The fact is they always work together and when humming forms the higher mind.

If most of the scientists are male and being paid by males, run in a male-dominated institution, they’re going to do their damndest to not talk about or acknowledge THIS TRUTH and expect us to live with “the reality” that they should be able to define and control matter, not us. That’s a weapon. The institutions of materialism are ironically used as weapons against women who make matter in our bodies. That matter obviously has consciousness. The truth is matter is female in every way and it’s best exemplified in our flesh, our muscles and blood and the soil of the earth. Blood is QI which is Chinese for consciousness.

That best we can do is share power. The men need to give up on patriarchy and it’s institutions, support women leading in every field, at the very least equal with male leaders, or the species will end once again. They can’t win. It’s nature. The majority of our bodies are muscle and blood and the majority of the earth is soil and deeper down, dense rock that used to be soil and geothermal energy whose magma is the liquid rock. It’s all…soil. The seeds are just on the surface. Women are everything. There’s no getting around it and many men refuse to accept it. It’ll kill the planet and our species if this keeps up.

Essay; A Woman Changing Her Body Size


zoosk
ZOOSK.

We all know it’s a power and culture issue for a woman or man to change in body size; smaller or bigger. Think about what that says about human behavior. We’re animals. Animal dominance in the wild is based on size, usually, the bigger one being dominant. But that’s not the case in human society because the demands in our environment to survive are different than animals in the wild.

In human society, youth and speed are prized as well as flexibility, at least by the white culture. I’ve noticed on Zoosk that the handsome white men don’t chat me up and they have fairly desirable characteristics. After talking to my friend Gia who is black, she told me she thought I was black. She’s only seen my pictures, not me in person. But it is definitely true that black men have predominantly been attracted to me throughout my life and on Zoosk. I thought it was caused by my personality being a strong woman, not my body size or look. I think I was wrong. My skin is pretty white. I guess my features aren’t. Chalk one up for denial.

I love the black culture but I was raised as whitey white as can be! I don’t fit well in the white culture though. I grant everyone that. Still, three of my best friends are white women and three of my other besties are black. I guess I’m culturally both!

I’ve noticed that handsome white men prefer soft, docile blonde women and everyone else goes for dark-haired, strong women. So Arab, Indian, and Black men chat me up on FB but not Hispanic men. What’s that about? They are more macho I think and prefer a traditional hetero role for women while they’re free to run about? I really don’t know. I’ve never been married to or dated a Hispanic man but my twin flame is Hispanic. Is he dragging his feet because our cultures are so different?

He made a comment while I was out there, “I’m as Mexican as can be ya know. I’m not like a white man.” What the hell is that supposed to mean O enlightened one? I don’t care about that. I like the Hispanic culture too! My breasts are female and adequate and men are men. You would think that would suffice? Then there’s the fact that he is Spanish heritage based on his last name so he is European! He looks it too. Sheesh. So he doesn’t have any feelings for me because to HIM, I’m white and he definitely rags on the white culture? Maybe. I can’t win. Then he’s not awake. I hate all of this human superficiality so much and really, never paid any attention to it growing up so I think I’m behind on what “I’m supposed to know”. I never wanted to get married so I didn’t pay any attention! That and my family accepted all different cultures; especially my grandparents.

I don’t know what changing body size is going to say about me culturally but I resent being aware of it at all! I just wanted to be healthier. I don’t want to believe I will all of a sudden be acceptable in the white culture because I’m thin and beautiful but I think that is how superficial people are. And then will I be resented by my black friends in whose culture it’s expected that women are fluffy? And to my twin flame, god only knows.

Size bias and culture are fascinating and I have no answers. I just see the behaviors and find it odd. I’m getting too many comments about my looks on social media as opposed to my content. Makes me mad. That doesn’t happen to men. I’m happy to hear your comments and I’m going to stop thinking about it. I will be taking notes though as I shrink and I am shrinking fast.

I’ll have to come up with a way to give a verbal boundary. No doubt, it will make me sound like a grumpy bitch but I don’t care. I think people need to be made aware of their double standard comments regarding looks for women and men and cut it out. What about humans loving each other no matter what??