Essay; With No Contact, The Attraction Wears Off


zooskI believe studies have shown this about women. The initial hormone high of attraction falls away if there is no contact, no talking (hearing his voice), you don’t see him and you receive no communication. That has been the case here. Because I’m intuitive, that has all kicked in very strong and I recommend following your intuition to women when it comes to these situations. Reason being, your body, and brain send certain signals based on ancestral DNA and successful reproduction in terms of sexual attraction and your soul intuition sends another. It’s unfortunate that the two are not always on the same track but I can tell you they are not.

I texted him and left one call regarding my Zoosk account getting hacked and being paused. I have heard nothing back. If a man isn’t as active on the account after he meets you, that’s a sign that he’s focused on you, but he was back on and not contacting me directly. Then I assume he was out in the alley again but I don’t know for sure. Ok! I wasn’t. I was watching him. What I know about men is, if they have not had sex with you and they don’t think they’re going to have sex with you in the immediate future, they have absolutely no motivation for communicating with you past the first date. 

 

There is no way two people can value each other as human beings after only one date or even a couple dates! That means women, that even if you wait for a couple dates to have sex with him, there is no way you’re setting a tone for a relationship, love, or bonding to happen and he will continue to be an alley dog, learning nothing, and finding any b…. he fancies online who will give it to him quickly. That is men’s nature. They are not to be judged for that. I’m making the point that if you want something different and he seems like a man to reproduce with or love, you cannot have sex with him right away. He needs self-discipline, not indulgence. If he shows no interest then and moves on, just because you wouldn’t have sex, he was not your reproduction type anyway. And usually, a man will say up front that he IS looking for a relationship which could mean several things. Mostly, he may want children and a home. Men want that too. Just know that he will be a softer, more domesticated type and not as virile.

My situation is somewhat different because I’m not looking for a man to reproduce with. However, it’s the same in that I only want bonded sex, not alley sex. I need love with a man to be turned on and that is absolutely how I’m wired. I’m monogamous and want a lover but I don’t like marriage. I know who I already love and who I want to share myself with for the second half of my life; my twin flame. But he’s not communicating with me very much or at least he’s not initiating at the moment and lives 1800 miles away. For me, it’s a matter of being patient because I know what’s going on with him. What I can tell you is that he is very strong in my psychic, etheric space and that really counts with Twin Flames. So why am I on Zoosk? I’m testing myself and the energy. I also want to hang out and date to be social. I like men.

man and woman talkingAnother thing about women is our sexual interest has everything to do with a man’s voice and how he talks to us. It just is. This is huge for men to accept if any of you are reading this. Maybe women are different on this but I don’t think so. I think all women are very strongly affected by the tone of voice and sincerity of voice from a man. We can tell when you’re lying which is most of the time. If you are an honest man and tell the truth, that is very sexy and very impressive. Just don’t say, “Yeah, I think you ARE fat! And by the way, your ass is big!” lolololol. My male friend in another state who I text and talk with said to me, “We lie because it works!” I said, “No it doesn’t! We can always tell and then you come down a few notches to us and have less chance of sex with us.” He must be referring to lying working on women that aren’t too bright. Don’t get me started on that.

It’s a good thing I really love my single life and have made a life for myself. Dealing with men is really so much gaming and brain mush. My Zoosk fellow is still up north for the week working. The weather in Michigan has been “stay off the roads!”. He told me he would be gone for a week after our first date. Maybe when he’s done with his project he’ll contact me. I honestly don’t care that much and have no emotion invested in him because he’s not talking to me. Men are unpredictable. I still think he’s super cute but we’ll have to have a second date and see how the vibe is since he wouldn’t talk to me all week. And maybe I’m not that interested now. I’m unpredictable too. This is the dance we do. Just don’t chase him, women! Let him come to you. Again, think of a dog and how you’d deal with one. My son’s father is the one that made me accept that visual. I would never suggest that about men but that’s because I’m idealistic. Now that I’m middle-aged I’m realistic.

 

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Heartset; Maybe Humans Crave Certain Feelings, not Drugs Themselves


 

That’s a pretty interesting suggestion.  It’s probably not a new one but I sure don’t hear anyone talking about that.  It would mean that you crave the way a drug makes you feel not the drug itself. For me, it’s like craving a song I love. Music is food for me as is dancing or moving my body.

You may say, “Well yeah!” Pardon me if my realization sounds naive or conservative.  I’m not.  I’m an extremely liberal woman but I was born sober, so obviously I’m liberal intellectually, in speaking, and in friendships, not in my hobbies.  I have never craved drugs and when I do try them they don’t affect me.  Go figure.  I’ve used alcohol, been buzzed many times and only drunk once. It does nothing for my feelings at all nor does it make my body change much, good or bad. I’ve used pot maybe five times and it doesn’t affect me. I’ve used different kinds of tobacco and I like the smell of it because it reminds me of jazz, but that’s it. I cannot relate to craving a drug to make my feelings change. That’s as odd to me as thinking that changing my clothes will change my personality.  It’s extremely irrational and makes no sense to me.

I AM exceedingly familiar with my feelings changing though, a lot!!  My feelings have always swung this way and that naturally ever since I’ve been a child.  I am in touch with a range of feelings that as a professionally trained actor, I’m able to evoke or bring to the surface quite easily.  So, it must just be my personality; the way my brain works. It does run in my family, being theatrical, but we are also counselors, therapists, and mediums.  I’m also a musician.  I come from an emotionally expressive family so that was seeded in my subconscious in utero.

What all of this is bringing to light is the fact that if you have an expressive art you can imbibe in, maybe those feelings you’re craving will start flowing and your drug craving may go down.  We all need to let our feelings out.  And what about sex?  I know women tend to be more emotional during sex than men if men are at all, but more sex would be good for women then. Most women are as comfortable with sexual feelings as they are with taking a shower or feeling ill.  It’s just part of having a body.  I know this is diametrically opposed to men.

Men, I don’t know how you deal with your feelings other than drinking.  My 19-year-old son tells me that men do get emotionally attached in relationships even though males don’t get emotional during sex itself.  I know that the emotion of sexual tension that occurs when you’re attracted to a female is very uncomfortable for most men and FEAR is your big emotion; maybe even anger at not being able to control the woman’s sexual feelings? That was some inside information I received yesterday that was fascinating.  So, let yourself “be” in a relationship, talking, feeling bonded to other males and females as friends are very therapeutic for guys.  Also, just letting yourself feel the sexual tension with a woman you like.  It doesn’t mean you have to take any major action on it immediately…I guess.

As a female, I don’t really emotionally need friendships as much as I need sex.  I don’t think many women admit that but that’s definitely the case for me.  Or maybe I’m just far more into feeling my body in its natural state than others are. So it’s more important for me to have a partner than many friendships…eventually.

I’ll follow this blog up with my intuition and findings on the sexual tension between men and women and maybe even women and women and men and men.  That should be compelling and timely. The issue seems to be unraveling our society on all levels. It’s about time, right? This male fear and issue of emotional control are called patriarchy; then it manifests in forced sex. Nada. But are women really completely emotionally innocent in all of this? I really don’t know, seriously asking.

Is it possible that the psychology of sexual predation and sexual harassment is a form of sexual tension that is physically out of alignment because of pent-up feelings? Stay tuned.