I took an Excedrin for the morning’s headache, got back in bed and did some Wim Hof Migraine Breathing. Three cheers for our pal, Mr. Hof!!! The pain vanished, and the caffeine took me back to the words of my dear mother, God rest her soul. “We live in a sex cult.” Yeah, right out […]The sex sense – an alien perspective on love and reductionism
…because a panicdemic isn’t exactly an inspiration to intimacy.
IT’S A DIFFERENT WORLD SINCE I LAST REALLY POSTED ANYTHING!
I’m just going to say it. If you’re well and have faith in your immune system, know that you make antibodies as everyone does and feel like you can walk above the Fear Fray, HAVE SEX!
I’m above the fear fray. I’m incapable of following the crowd on this. Literally. I watch NO T.V. Because I know better. Being holistic, I know the facts about the body and take care of myself. I don’t rely on doctors and their pills. I use herbs and take Chinese anti-viral herbs that make it impossible for a virus to go into your lungs. YEAH, THEY SHOULD BE ALL OVER THE HOSPITAL but there is no way Big Pharma would let Chinese herbs that work in there, even if they can save lives.
Being who I am, I know how to pretend I’m complying and then do the little actions and use the little wipes, hand washing like it’s a religion, social distancing, blah, blah, blah that everyone thinks is SO powerful and make my office smell like Lysol which is actually not good for us. I actually do it, probably more than the fear people because I coddle the fearful people too much. I feel sorry for them having no faith whatsoever in their bodies.
It’s because they THINK THAT and FEEL that that gives it power. I feel it already without the little anti-microbial everything. Someone do me and people LIKE ME a favor and have a better understanding of how your body really works and some FAITH in your very powerful immune system. We never get that satisfaction. We just get to see darting eyes behind and mask and FEAR oozing out of every part of your body while you walk really fast from the grocery store. Do you know how TOXIC that is?
This whole thing is killing intimacy of any kind and sex and I find it very, very sinister to the social fabric of humanity. We’ll see if they really intend to open up normal movement again. Just start doing it yourself quietly. If everyone does without making a fuss then who is going to stop them?
What is intimate is the virus itself. It’s microscopic folks. It’s smaller than any moisture cells that come out of your mouth during a sneeze. The mask everyone is making like Betsy Ross made the flag aren’t helping with anything. If you sneeze, the microscopic virus goes right through the fibers of the mask. Outside particles in the air go right into and through because they’re microscopic. The only mask that stops it is N95 and I have one. A healthcare worker gave it to me so I could work on her. It’s asphyxiating meaning it works to keep out the virus. Oxygen can barely get in which means nothing in the air is getting in. That’s how you know it works. And you could faint wearing it. So the masks that do work don’t allow you to breathe. There’s a quick death. The whole mask issue is one of psychological false sense of security. If your vibe is full of fear you weaken your immune system.
Anyway…your mind (thoughts and feelings) control your immune system. There are all kinds of nasties, every day of your life in your body that if multiplied, would kill you quickly. Mammals are full of destructive microbes! All the time! We don’t die because our immune systems are 1 million years old of brilliant and are on vigilant guard and go after anything that gets out of line UNLESS, we tell them to stand down and let the killing begin. Meaning, you, the host, feel weak and sad and want to die. That doesn’t usually happen but this would be a good time to split if you felt like it. No one would question you, no hassle. The virus would be blamed, you would not be.
I feel the lack of intimacy and socializing is worse for people than the virus. We are meant to be together. This distrust of our bodies and the immune system is nonsense. That said if you feel weak and full of fear you should stay home because your vibe is toxic. Maybe not just now but all the time. You’ve got some meditating to do and choices to make about your relationship with Life.
Intimacy; Gray Area Between Relationship and Hookup?
I have to admit, if I’m not looking for a committed relationship with a man I don’t pay much attention to personality. I’m looking for an attraction for sex or a lover. Men are no different from women.
Having touch and sex is a health issue. We all need it! I’m not throwing guilt in there but I do notice that the emotional detachment with a man turns me off no matter how hot he is. I appreciate the beauty of a man though just as much as men do with women. Yet, it’s not even close to being like love.
Things get tricky when a man is your friend and you have things in common and have known each other for a while. If he has a disposable hookup habit with women who are not friends how will he handle sex with a friend? Another notch only meaner? He gets double points for disposing of a female friend? Ultimately, she’s only a woman and nothing stops him from devouring as much as he can for free.
Being women, we do have the ability to make a man fall in love with us by loving him from the heart, talking to him, and being irresistibly sexy even while we’re free spirits and have no intention of having him on a hook. Personally, I have no desire for a man around just as I have no pet in the house. I’m busy with the work I love. But I’m not sure I want the burden of a man in love with me to weigh me down.
I think you have to be ready to lose the friendship on the sex altar. It happens on the attraction and flirting altar too. That just ended one of my friendships. We didn’t even have sex but we may as well have because the energy and affection were there…then it left. It was his doing because he decided to hook up with someone else much easier to handle, blonder, and more tattooed likely with piercings in all the gross places. Lol. She was his level.
There is a gray area in there somewhere. I just haven’t found the sweet spot. Que sera sera.
Intimacy; Hip to Be a Ho?
It’s all socially permissible and fine for women and men to be promiscuous now. Everything has changed in the last few years. I include men in the Ho category. In fact they seem to feel privileged to be so detached. I find that doubtful.
Women my age are as hot as ever and the younger men like us because we’re more skilled and can’t get pregnant. Add to that we know what food to eat so our body fluids are tasty. That’s not something most younger women think about because they assume their pheremones have their sexual superiority to us all tied up in a pretty bow.
My generation was not raised to feel perfectly fine about pure sex with no love and I still don’t. But it’s not a happy thing for a woman to go so long without sex that she starts to tighten up to the point of re-virginization. It makes intercourse painful.
The problem there is, as all women know, you could wait forever and slowly become a nun before you find a man with an open heart, emotional skills and capable of intimacy who actually loves you. A woman could easily get stuck hanging out with her gay boyfriend and gay husband like Stanny was to Carrie on “Sex in the City”. Remember how long Carrie had to wait for Big to really love her and then marry her?
So, mainly for health reasons, women and men become Ho’s and have sex outside of love, commitment, and a relationship most of the time. I’m not judging it. I just did it and I wasn’t turned on at all. I walked into the kitchen and said to myself, “I have to live with myself. This is the way I am,” meaning I don’t get turned on unless there is some love and affection, kissing, and matching vibe. I’ve never been superficial or very promiscuous.
Mind you, this man was 6’2″, his body was not just a 10 but more like a 12, perfect manhood, knew what he was doing, brought me coffee and muffin and had luscious lips. And he enjoyed my body and said so! I love my body too. So what! I don’t need his approval.
Nothing. I felt nothing. He was the most detached lover I’ve ever had and I felt sorry for him. He may have actually been a professional because he had the looks and the skill.
I’d rather be celibate. There is nothing I hate more than a man who is hot and utterly emotionally uninvolved with me. This is all feels unfair. If I don’t want my womanhood to close up I have to resort to non-bonded sex with someone I barely know? No. Do you know how many dumb dates I’ve had with trolls? Why can’t men open their hearts more and get with the program? “Ho ho ho” and it’s not even Christmas.
Intimacy; You’re not necessarily in a relationship just because you have sex.
What I’m seeing men do is, instead of doing a series of hook-ups, they decide to be monogamous with one woman. Then the assumption is that is a relationship. No, it’s not; not if you don’t have feelings for one another. It’s just an ongoing hookup which is not a relationship.
You’re in a relationship if you have an ongoing friendship, you care about one another, and you hang out and go out, you love talking to one another, you help each other out sometimes and you eat together. That might include sex, it might not. It might be intermittent sex or not. The man or woman’s sexual behavior does not define the parameters of what a relationship is.
It’s time for women to step up and speak up! We need to accept that sexual communication IS a relationship to men and they don’t understand anything much deeper or how to go about it. Women understand emotions and bonding moreso and absolutely need to mix that in with the sex. But we still should not let the man say, “We had sex so you’re my territory.” Maybe you’re just dating. Sex is just part of dating.
Women are territorial sexually as well but my point is, the emotional friendship bond is what really creates an ongoing relationship; not sex. That should be perfectly obvious given how many people have hook-ups and it means nothing. For that matter, sex doesn’t define marriage either.
Essay; Women Feel the Need to be Like a Colorful Male Bird? Yes.
I don’t. But many women don’t like to be ignored. Kind, smiling, pretty, plain women are preferred by a husband for marriage (hurrah!) But when it comes to fun, sex, and money, because of the sexual objectification of women, men prefer novice, meanness, titillation, color, and bitchiness. Women are just actors in men’s psychodrama and it’s important for women to see that if they want to choose to lead authentic lives and play no role for anyone. Some men see women as human beings but most don’t. They can’t because we’re more human than them and rival them in a myriad of ways. That’s not something that they can psychologically handle.
In many cultures, men are free to have a wife and a mistress so they can have the status they need and basically have their cake and eat it too. Then the women can choose whichever role they prefer to play for the man as long as patriarchy continues. Women put on all the colorful makeup and clothes, along with gay men.
In nature, the males are bigger and more attractive, dance around and are colorful. The females are just…great the way they are and the colorful men pursue them and show off. I certainly see that with Bruno Mars and the Hooligans. They’re adorable to me! I don’t know what the guys think. I know quite a few women who think they are some fancy birds dancing around and showing their stuff. Most females do love it. That is nature.
But I wonder why our society is topsy turvy, where the women feel the pressure to be colorful; LIKE MEN? I shunned public performance because I’m very feminine and come across shy. I’m not shy with a man one on one…at all. But my nature is female! Why would I want to draw a ton of attention to myself? I do get courted by men but not men that I like. That’s troublesome. It’s because I don’t strut myself like a male bird.
I notice the women on the news are expected to be very aggressive in their tone of voice and buff. Patriarchy essentially means men want men because they feel they are superior to women. Women are viewed as defective by men that cling to patriarchal misogyny…and football. Many men don’t, I know. So women are only desirable if they’re more like a man. That means the man is essentially homosexual. I’ve never heard anyone suggest that but I see it. He prefers males or women that are aggressive or bitchy. Gag me. That’s the alpha way and obviously, I’m beta. No alpha man has ever pursued me and won’t. Good!
Just throwin’ this out there. Women who succeed in public are either very assertive, aggressive or a lesbian. IN NATURE, that is a preponderance of testosterone which is alpha male. Beta women that don’t want to act like a guy are ignored, except by the beta males who are trolls, nerd, artists, and freaks (women are all of that too). It now suggests the issue of alpha vs. beta. I believe our society is moving toward the rise of the Betas.
Digital Artist Sandra Bauser
Time fades into oblivion
One memory, one vision of you and I feel whole again.
I remember your voice, your smell, the feel of you next to me.
In time, it was so long ago, yet to my mind, it was yesterday.
My love for you is as natural as my heartbeat.