For Women; Red Flags to Spot Bisexual Men


anima and animus

If you’re not looking for a heterosexual partnership, then none of this will matter to you. I am looking for that. This is the second time it’s happened to me and now I’ve learned to spot the cues. Please note, this is not a judgment in any way, shape or form of bisexual men. However, I feel they should be upfront about being bisexual if they are active before they ask you to have sex with them. This last fellow was not honest, at all, presents as straight in public and may be in the closet. In fact, he’s faked out quite a few women to take advantage of them.

The cues are:

  1. They’ve never been married and have no children even in their 50’s.
  2. They admit they’ve been serious with 2-3 women in their life.
  3. They admit they do not want a relationship. In other words, they are promiscuous or at least polyamorous.
  4. They admit having unresolved childhood abuse issues.
  5. They call multiple women sweetie, honey, throw around the kissing emoji’s on social media like they’re candy, and are very goopy publicly with straight women. No straight guy is like that with women. No way no how. It’s gay.
  6. He is very good looking and does all the superficial landscaping and tanning of his body to lure women in like Fabio. LOL
  7. He likes money and to be perceived as alpha compared to straight men
  8. Most of his followers are women
  9. Most of his activity is on social media, not in person because he knows you’ll be able to scope him out too easily and learn the truth.

What do you think? Have you known men like this? Am I onto something or am I off? No hate mail, please.

You may be alone or single and in need of male attention which makes you vulnerable. After all, straight guys are not known for being very expressive, romantic, or sweet; not like gay men! Some women like or need that more than others which makes you an easy touch for a good looking bi-sexual man who will use and throw you.

You’ve been warned. Being a straight woman is no picnic these days because straight men are in the throes of social change. As you know from reading my blogs, I endorse self-care and not needing a man to adore you. The synchronicities start to line up and it’s very likely you’ll attract a soul mate or your Twin Flame as you center yourself in self-love. That’s where I’m finally sitting. Being lusty about men has gotten me into a heap of trouble. I’ve decided it’s not worth it anymore.

 

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Intuition and Love


You-cannot-love-without-intuition.-Graham-GreeneThis one floored me when I saw it. What do you think?

The first question I asked myself was “Why is this true?” The quote is attributed to Graham Greene. There are several to be found online and I’m not sure which one he is but those listed are all artists of some type.

I personally agree that we cannot love without intuition because intuition has its source in the unconscious mind, the Id, sex, chaos, passion, wild emotion, dreams and so forth. When we really love someone it’s a powerful draw, magnetic, a longing. In my case, it’s possible destiny. Sometimes the person shows up in our dreams. This is a psychic event as in psyche and not simply lust. I have experienced this. Have you? I want to know if you have. Tell me about it.

There is no rational reason why you are so drawn to this person. But many times there are synchronicities. I’ve blogged on here about my twin flame which was highly surrounded in synchronicity and still is. We’re still in touch, talked a lot last week, and he is being a little warm but nothing major. And another man is in my psychic space that I haven’t fleshed out yet. We haven’t met but I’d like to meet him. I’m not in love with him though as I am with my Twin Flame. Both of them have been in my dreams and are not just issues of lust so I know they are hooked to my psyche.

The Id, which is below the subconscious ego is also basically the lower body, below the navel. From a man’s perspective, of course, you cannot love without intuition because, for them, they cannot love without sex. That begs the question, “Is sex the seat of a man’s intuition?” Holy crap!!!!  I never thought of that but it makes sense. Let me know if you think that’s the case. Women will be floored if that’s true. I need the men to let me know if sex is intuitive for you. I better stop there. As a woman, sex is not intuitive for me. The seat of my intuition is chakras 6, 5, and 4 (third eye, throat, and heart)

I hope I hear from you.

 

Lisa T.

Prose; Getting Lost


orange desert flower

I loved that, as soon as I walked in the time-honored door, profusely late, you were concerned that I’d gotten lost, in trouble, or something else.

Melt.  Kiss.

Mmmmm.  That’s the good stuff.  I’m going there and staying in that sterling feeling.  It’s a crack memory in my brain.  No one can take it away.  I keep a pile of those in a festive drawer for a rainy day.

If You Don’t Give Him Sex When He Suggests It, You May as Well Not Exist.


cropped-divorced_couple_credit_inesbazdar_via_wwwshutterstockcom_cna_9_3_15.jpgUse your intuition on this one. Keep in mind the men are double-minded on this issue and may not even be aware that they are. Meaning, you’ll hear gender equity pronouncements and exhortations to be direct, honest, and yourself in public and on social media and another thing in private one-on-one. In private, if they are sexually attracted to you, they want or need you to take a back seat, be a hot little girl, never ask for anything emotionally, behave more graciously and not so opinionated and don’t initiate so much. Absolutely do not show that you are as smart or smarter than them.

I think part of the issue is men feel gypped by our society for not getting as much sex as they need the way they need it. Men need more interest and fun far more than bonding. Instead, the predominance is on talking and relationships which is women’s way. That’s called civilization and sex isn’t civilized? I think men truly resent it. On the other hand, women appreciate it because we can then use our energy for other things we care about and aren’t beholden or as likely to get pregnant. Most women truly need to be treated with love and care and not so much as sex objects in marriage and out.

Straight men who let you know that they are in no way interested in a relationship before the sexy talk are telling you that there is no way they will ever consider you a human being or even a friend. They are saying, “If you don’t have sex with me when I suggest it, you need to drop off the face of the earth. This exchange has expired because I have no use for you.” They will also lie to you about loving you as a friend. The only men who love you as a friend are gay. To try to wiggle out of their pronouncement of loving you as a friend they will lie about moving and even claim a family member died as an excuse for not calling you when they said they would. These men are wounded and internally weak.

They endorse lying and will say anything in any way shape or form and act an Academy Award-winning performance to scam money and sex in any way they can. They know how to make women love them and then take them for all they’ve got. Usually, they’ve never been married and have no children.

They are not mature enough to consider a woman a friend and lover with no other agreements, commitments, or contracts which they should if they were smart. It would put them on the high road and prove that they can take care of themselves and know how to love. They not only don’t want a commitment, they feel they have the right to ask for sex and then feel no human connection to you whatsoever. They are died-in-the-wool misogynists. Most likely they are narcissists or borderlines as well with a history of childhood abuse that they refuse to forgive.

I know how to work this type of man for as long as I need to in order to confirm their disorder because I suspect they’re working me. Then I’m done because I have ambitious work to do as well. It’s just an experiment on my end. I’m studying them in this gender-biased simulation we live in, no emotion whatsoever. The problem is, it’s much easier for them to do a hook-up and get what they need but not so for me; in fact the opposite.

Heartset; We Can Get a Room…


puzzle-klimt-eventail-index

Most women suck it up even though they don’t want to right away. What if you haven’t met him yet? What if you’ve just talked long distance for a long time? I have to get a vibe in person with a guy. I freakin’ don’t get why guys don’t care about that! They should. I did in the past but I’m not doing it anymore because I deserve to be turned on the way I get turned on. The pleasure of sex is for women also.

I understand and respect the fact that men are ego invested about offering a hookup to a woman and she turns him down when she’s indicated before that she’s attracted to him. It’s a huge deal to a dude. Especially if you already know each other. On the other hand, if a guy just met you and asks for a hook-up he’s basically treating you like a free prostitute. That’s just disgusting. No.

Not doing a hookup with an egomaniac or your boss can get you fired if they want you! That’s how mad guys get. I’ve experienced it first hand. If they know you and you’ve both been flirting, they expect a “Yes” or I suppose they think you were teasing them. I think men take rejection harder than women do. I try not to be too hard on men that let me know they like me but the boundaries do have to be maintained and I have a history of maintaining them in the workplace and in my own office, to the frustration of quite a few men.

I don’t think most women are teasing. I believe we’re thinking, pondering, and checking, putting it through our intuitive radar because women know energy is exchanged as well as body fluids. That’s how we are with men if the woman has any self-respect. We’re in the laboratory of sexual attraction and IT IS NO EASY MATTER FOR US! We need you guys to accept that about us. I accept that it’s simpler for men and every woman knows that. Then you need to accept that it’s more complicated for us. The man’s value system should not dictate the situation and I challenge every woman to stick up for what she wants and what she’s comfortable with. At least have some of it your way. If he’s too pushy, he can walk.

I think a good compromise is three times alone together in person, at least, after you’ve known each other for months. I know that these days that sounds like a long time but, well, that’s just me. I’m sorry but unless there is emotional intimacy I’m not turned on.

Heartset; Take Good Care of My Heart?


Who should take good care of your heart? The only one taking care of your heart should be you. Only share it with everyone else. Your heart condition is your business! Anything else has a disaster at the end of it or chaos. We all know this! Why do people keep doing it? Because it feels good…for a while! It doesn’t last peeps. Lust feels good. Love lasts forever and that comes from loving yourself and being your own best friend.

Do you remember this song? It’s originally a 1984 Jermaine Jackson, Whitney Houston tune. This a new arrangement. Once again, I like the music but completely disagree with the lyrics. LOL! Nevertheless, these two seem like good friends and are flirting galore. That’s very cool. I’m a musician. Musicians have quite a bit of creative eros between them so usually, things flow.

Heartset; Can She Be a Human Being?


cropped-gold-tears-klimt.jpg

She is either the big, bad, controlling monster because she’s a strong, intelligent woman or little Cinderella princess needing the glass slipper put on her foot? Too many men are passive-aggressive about women I suppose because they don’t understand us. We’re neither of those two ends on a linear spectrum. I wonder if men are capable of interpreting relational ideas past duality?

Relating is more complicated than that. Don’t give me the “Men are simple creatures that just need a dog” crap. If you’re going to inflate your ego to the point if feigning vast intelligence, all the top jobs and Nobel Peace Prizes, all the power in public and most of the money and fire women from their position who won’t hook-up with you, then you need to uplevel your brains to friendship with the woman you’re fucking. Then we can share power in public.

Let’s face it. We live in a vampire whored society where everyone is brainwashed to give over their mind and body to marriage, family, church, employer, and state for some money crumbs and the fat cats keep the rest and wait for us to die. Then the funeral homes and cemetery and the rest of the death industry clean up after that. It affects how women and men relate to one another to be sure because we end up in survival mode not thrive mode. That’s not a garden of intimacy.

I’m not and most women are not a misandrist. I just don’t want to have to train my mate the way I train my child. It’s an insult to men and women. We just want the species to survive on the planet, we’re the ones that make, birth, and love the species, and you guys have had your chance for the last 10,000 years. This madness has to stop.

Heartset; Intimacy balances out by…


Pensive girl thinking in winter

For women, having sex. For men, talking.

That sounds ironic, doesn’t it?

If you already know each other, you’ve already been together, you’ve already communicated quite a bit, the way to bring intimacy equilibrium back to the relationship is instinctually in this manner.

It sounds odd because the assumption is men always want to have sex and women always want to talk but that is not the case all the time. Sex is super easy for men, with no feelings and no connection. Talking, bonding, getting to know a woman, becoming friends with her is not easy for him AT ALL. If he figures out that he digs her, likes talking to her and finds her hot, he is not going to want to have sex with her right away, especially if his habit has been to make her a notch in his bedpost. He’s going to want to talk. It means he’s starting to go deeper and mull over what she means to him. I do believe that this is a case of a man not going after what he wants quickly, especially if both parties are middle-aged. It’s the young men and women that move quickly.

Oh god. This drives me nuts! When a woman knows she’s attracted to a man, continues to be attracted to him, loves his voice, likes the way he thinks and agrees with much of what he does and says and generally digs him, she wants to fuck his brains out! Why make her wait?

Because it’s not a superficial sexual conquest anymore. He’s possibly serious about her. Especially if she didn’t bite at the outset when he offered superficial sex. I personally never bite when a man offers superficial sex, even if I’m attracted to him. I’m not letting just any man have my body and my energy and notch me. There has to be a connection or I’m not doing it. OR…there is a connection mentally and emotionally so I’m not doing it right away.

The other issue is, women know pretty quickly if not very quickly who she digs and who she doesn’t. We’re very astute at knowing our type and let him know. I did that with a friend of mine. We were headed for sex and I stopped it. Then he called me even more and wanted to talk even more. I really began to be mystified.

How is this going to play out? You’re both sure you have the hots for each other because you already said some hot things and meant it. You’ve both agreed you love each other as friends. You’ve both been friends, actively, with each other. You both call each other, text, stay in touch. You support each other’s work, actively. What the heck?

To be continued…

Heartset; Social Media Shows Our Veneer


foggy-autumn

The veneer on a piece of furniture can appear in many ways.  It can be layers of paint, different color of stain, all of it possibly peeling.  There can even be gashes and dent to the wood underneath.

The wood underneath is the truth and it’s rarely seen. It’s the heart of the matter and how the piece of furniture looked at its founding; it’s construction done by the carpenter’s hand.  I love watching it progress, drinking in the smell of the wood.

When I look at any piece of furniture that has been stained or painted, I always wonder what the grain of the wood looks like underneath and what type of wood it is.  Then I wonder who built it, the year it was built and for whom.

All of our social media; Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, on and on, show only the veneer of humans. We are all projecting a public image that we want others to think is true. It’s the image that we are comfortable having others see. It is the truth regarding how we express ourselves verbally but it’s partial because we’re not in the room physically present with each other.  It serves to protect our deepest emotions and events of our lives from being too visible, too vulnerable as our bodies are visible. Maybe we are aligning with a group that “fixes” all that was wrong with our mother or father instead of aligning with our true selves in group settings.

I actually accept that about others. The reason being…underneath we are all innocent children that have had to learn to cope in certain family dynamics and fundamental societal expectations where most of the time, no one asked us what we wanted or how we felt. They just told us what we should do to fit in and be liked. Knowing and obeying those parameters helped us survive and maybe kept us alive. So we view that compromise as fundamentally good. But it’s not. It is surviving, not thriving. That’s how the veneer starts. Most of the veneer comes from religion, state schools, and our family.

It’s something to keep in mind when you communicate on social media. There is no way you’re getting an authentic picture of a person on any of those sites. We all cling to religions, political parties and value systems that we feel emotionally comfortable with culturally. That doesn’t mean that a person who is opposite of you doesn’t have a good heart or a stable mind. It’s amazing how convinced we can be of how right we are when we surround ourselves with people who agree with us.

It’s not about a group as right or wrong. It’s about caring to know who people really are underneath, listening, and being authentic ourselves. We’re called to love-not to judge…anyone…ever…for any reason.