Essay; There is Pressure on Women to Hold Ourselves in Higher Esteem


“Women, love and honor yourself even if by the societal view you are a freak, brilliant, ugly or super beautiful, fit or not fit. If you’re not average, other women will be jealous and you’ll need to live with that.”

zoosk

The reason being, in truth, every woman is a goddess. Some women feel and know this and many more don’t and are very dependent as opposed to being interdependent. That’s where the jealousy and the trouble come in for men. Men long for us to know how beautiful we are and some get very co-dependent with low self-esteem women trying to convince them that they need to love themselves. Women are love on the planet but if a woman doesn’t claim that it becomes hell on earth. Men are mere mortals wishing to be superheroes! Men that think they’re gods already are gay or bi-sexual and have incorporated the female principle into themselves to try to bring balance. And how do they act? Like a woman! Fine, but they are still males and can’t make a human being in their body. There’s that. A male truly becomes a god when he joins with a female and they have a child together. That is a powerful creation and males and females get credit for that. If it’s only one child, that may be more responsible in my view. Society should never denigrate procreation. It’s our main biological mandate on the planet and would completely throw us off as a species if we no longer valued children.
gold tears klimt

“Men feel and view our bodies as heaven, paradise, light, love, sex, food, everything they want and need and they want and need to lose themselves in us.”

That is pressure on women. I am hearing that in every single modern day pop song sung by men. Women who watch it say, “ALL they want is SEX.”. To men, that’s the pinnacle on earth. That’s all there is or needs to be. That’s as happy as they can get. Like Bruno Mars sings, “Your sex takes me to paradise”. They mean it. Just because women are not that way doesn’t mean EVERYONE should be that way. To the extent to which society, Church, State, and women deny them the greatest heaven they can have is the degree to which they are frustrated, pissed, feeling upset and victimized and die early of heart disease. This issue has got to be seen and accepted by society about men and balanced with women taking care of themselves and making money.

They can’t be any different nor should they. Sex is love to them. What’s wrong with that? Nature IS love. The Earth IS love. The natural world IS love. I’m holistic so resisting that is what drives us nuts. It’s the reason our healthcare system, our planet, and our society are falling apart is the DENIAL OF THE BODY which MEN LOVE more than anything. So what is patriarchy but men trying NOT TO BE DENIED THEIR MANHOOD by every single institution in existence? I’m just guessing. Don’t send me hate mail, please. What are we saying to them and about ourselves when we tell them to stop wanting sex so much? You may as well ask them to stop breathing or the sun to stop shining. Well, that IS what we’re doing to the planet right now.

Like Rajesh said to Penny on “Big Bang Theory”, “You can’t ruin a friendship with sex. That’s like ruining a chocolate cupcake with sprinkles!” My god, I love that line. It epitomizes the difference between how men and women think. I think if men had their way, they’d have sex with anyone, anytime just to show their love. It’s analogous to women showing their love by hugging and talking! We do that all the time and think it’s fine. But you say, “You can’t get pregnant hugging someone.” There is the crux of the issue and the problem for men. So use birth control and have as much sex as you want. The other crux; women’s feelings.

This is unfathomable for people to believe, but it is only recently in human history that people realized that it takes the male sperm to cause conception and make a human being. Up until that time, early humans thought it was magic, we had matriarchy where men were just having sex with anyone they wanted with any woman and going from place to place spreading their sperm around. No one knew who the fathers were, the children didn’t know their fathers and there was no marriage. That was matriarchy and women dominated and raised the children in groups of women and children. The men were off separate with one another.

I’m not saying I personally like the polyamorous nature of most men. I’m a female with high self-esteem so I believe I have plenty, just me alone, for a man who truly adores me. I just don’t expect it from most men. A man who prefers bitches and whores with no emotional bonding or love is one himself! When a man I’m with lets me know those are his values then I think, “Ok, then you aren’t going to get me. You’re only going to get a weak woman with no self-esteem and don’t whine about it. You get what you are!” Men with high self-esteem are attracted to women with high self-esteem and he’s done being polyamorous. That’s another level of nature. Men at the lower level, don’t even try to tell me that monogamous men who adore women who are fully in tune with their bodies and feelings don’t exist. They do! I can provide a man with great, varied sex, great conversation, loyal love and more. Can you take being loved?

Patriarchy changed all of that and territory, The state, The Church, and the institution of the family were born. Now we call it civilization. Have we decided if this is good or bad yet? We know now that when a man and woman live together and fight, which they always do, it is very psychologically damaging to the child. So how great is it really for the father to live with the mother and the child or children in just the family unit? Statistics show men tend to be violent toward the women and children too (domestic violence). So, I don’t know if patriarchy is working. Add to that the men’s testosterone loves war, blowing stuff up, rape, and what have you and I’m not sure women’s paradise has civilized them nor should it. Besides, we deny it to them most of the time and just think they should work and make money. That’s not fair to men.

We need a new way where the nature of men and the nature of woman is balanced. We just don’t know what that is yet while keeping the planet in one piece.

Prose; Elemental Woman


 

sisters__fire_and_ice_by_woltadesign_d742rs0-preFire and Ice

Woman… fire in chains walking through mans’ ice storm.

There is barely anywhere for us to rest on pliable earth, caressed by dew-kissed grass and flowers and visited by genial insects and creatures.

Man is a covetous, territorial beast, contemplating a meal, food for his belly, something to drink, and metal coins, hardware and paper and food from the earth; animals and fruit. They come from her blistering fires too from which he creates.

He craves the warmth of her fire that never dulls and memory of the Sun before the ice came to steal human souls.

Suspicious of her, he does not understand nor can he control her unless…he loves. Her fire can melt or burn and he only steals some warmth for a short time.

A man who loves is a magnificent animal, one that knows no limits and has unbounded strength. He has the strength of the earth, turned from ice and the sun combined because he is the seed willing to lose its cover in order to allow Life.

He willingly takes her to him, feasts, shares, adores and provides a safe place for her fertile ground to grow the eternal seeds she holds from before the time of The Dragon. She holds them still.

But he cannot stay next to her for long or he will melt.

He tries and survival beckons his traverse, summoned by a great dirge of possible conquest and the illusions of mind and heart that he believes are real because his core does not yet burn with equable insight.

Frozen, halcyon outsight of a gelid wasteland is still his birthright.

The feracious earth was given to her as a prolific garden and she waits yet for his icy heart to warm the arable soil for her so she can grow the fruit of breakable man in virile beauty, not in frozen, acrid death and blood.

He is…breakable because he is mortal! The seed must be broken in the soil to become eternal!

She is still in unyielding chains, unloved, unprotected, terribly alone in her vital fire that cannot be momentarily extinguished.

The Sun gave birth to the earth, to ice, to Time and its incessant movement will not cease.

The erudite Magician has given him the wand with which to channel her calescent magic because her heat increases.

Time must move forward but the dextrous tools of man can only thrive if they are forged with the luminosity of her body, to tend the garden of the Earth.

It may lie fallow and untended unless the fire that man discovered can be born in him by tending to her heat. Then he will remain.

Until then he will die, just as he was born.

Lisa Townsend-written on February 17, 2018

 

 

Body Truth; False Equivalencies of Gender


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My intuition came on strong today regarding a remedy for what is perceived now in the media as immense gender disparity, women as the victims, and a desire for justice.

Matriarchy and Patriarchy, operating our human societies for the last 10,000 years have set up false equivalencies of power. False equivalence is a logical fallacy in which two completely opposing arguments appear to be logically equivalent when in fact they are not. This fallacy is categorized as a fallacy of inconsistency.

The actual behaviors on the part of men and women, in terms of physical, sexual behavior is entirely natural. What is not natural now is our civilization. Staring at our screens and not talking or touching one another is indicative of that! Our healthcare system is indicative of that also. Nothing about our body awareness, perception, and flow are in accord with the natural cycles and rhythms of nature.  It’s affected our sexual behavior as women and men, of course, as the first line of physical behavior since that is mainly what we are; sexual animals. Our civilization has taught us, via State and Church to not be sexual animals anymore, or follow nature, and that it should all be controlled and repressed. Sexual behavior and all of nature is actually a beautiful thing; not to be avoided but to be feasted on!

Wow is the repression of beauty and enjoyment a profit boon for the porn industry; bottom line.  And why does pornography need to be only seen as violent?  Some of it is violent, much of it is not.

We see events now, all over the world really, trying to bring a measure of SHARED power not based on gender. We see it in Saudi Arabia, Europe, Africa, and the U.S. but we keep banging the drum of gender as a procrastination really, mostly on the part of women, to, at last, release matriarchal dominance (the Democrats) that subjugated and insulted men in the past while we abused our power over them.

We need to finally acknowledge that men can take care of themselves as grown-ups and need to rectify their adolescent behaviors (the Pubs), that we can each take care of ourselves, and neither women or men need to throw themselves on the sacrificial pyre of STATE or CHURCH forcing its values onto the family.

Those two institutions use gender war to take both of our power. Let’s support one another, be kind and loving to one another and acknowledge our unique power as individuals. Our strength is in each other, not in institutions, tech, political parties, and a money system that supports militarism and gender disparity at the expense of each other.

Heartset; Maybe Humans Crave Certain Feelings, not Drugs Themselves


 

That’s a pretty interesting suggestion.  It’s probably not a new one but I sure don’t hear anyone talking about that.  It would mean that you crave the way a drug makes you feel not the drug itself. For me, it’s like craving a song I love. Music is food for me as is dancing or moving my body.

You may say, “Well yeah!” Pardon me if my realization sounds naive or conservative.  I’m not.  I’m an extremely liberal woman but I was born sober, so obviously I’m liberal intellectually, in speaking, and in friendships, not in my hobbies.  I have never craved drugs and when I do try them they don’t affect me.  Go figure.  I’ve used alcohol, been buzzed many times and only drunk once. It does nothing for my feelings at all nor does it make my body change much, good or bad. I’ve used pot maybe five times and it doesn’t affect me. I’ve used different kinds of tobacco and I like the smell of it because it reminds me of jazz, but that’s it. I cannot relate to craving a drug to make my feelings change. That’s as odd to me as thinking that changing my clothes will change my personality.  It’s extremely irrational and makes no sense to me.

I AM exceedingly familiar with my feelings changing though, a lot!!  My feelings have always swung this way and that naturally ever since I’ve been a child.  I am in touch with a range of feelings that as a professionally trained actor, I’m able to evoke or bring to the surface quite easily.  So, it must just be my personality; the way my brain works. It does run in my family, being theatrical, but we are also counselors, therapists, and mediums.  I’m also a musician.  I come from an emotionally expressive family so that was seeded in my subconscious in utero.

What all of this is bringing to light is the fact that if you have an expressive art you can imbibe in, maybe those feelings you’re craving will start flowing and your drug craving may go down.  We all need to let our feelings out.  And what about sex?  I know women tend to be more emotional during sex than men if men are at all, but more sex would be good for women then. Most women are as comfortable with sexual feelings as they are with taking a shower or feeling ill.  It’s just part of having a body.  I know this is diametrically opposed to men.

Men, I don’t know how you deal with your feelings other than drinking.  My 19-year-old son tells me that men do get emotionally attached in relationships even though males don’t get emotional during sex itself.  I know that the emotion of sexual tension that occurs when you’re attracted to a female is very uncomfortable for most men and FEAR is your big emotion; maybe even anger at not being able to control the woman’s sexual feelings? That was some inside information I received yesterday that was fascinating.  So, let yourself “be” in a relationship, talking, feeling bonded to other males and females as friends are very therapeutic for guys.  Also, just letting yourself feel the sexual tension with a woman you like.  It doesn’t mean you have to take any major action on it immediately…I guess.

As a female, I don’t really emotionally need friendships as much as I need sex.  I don’t think many women admit that but that’s definitely the case for me.  Or maybe I’m just far more into feeling my body in its natural state than others are. So it’s more important for me to have a partner than many friendships…eventually.

I’ll follow this blog up with my intuition and findings on the sexual tension between men and women and maybe even women and women and men and men.  That should be compelling and timely. The issue seems to be unraveling our society on all levels. It’s about time, right? This male fear and issue of emotional control are called patriarchy; then it manifests in forced sex. Nada. But are women really completely emotionally innocent in all of this? I really don’t know, seriously asking.

Is it possible that the psychology of sexual predation and sexual harassment is a form of sexual tension that is physically out of alignment because of pent-up feelings? Stay tuned.

 

 

Essay; Feel Free to Bother Me


beautiful-woman-in-garden

I went out tonight to hear jazz. My friend was playing.

I was perfectly happy sitting alone with my sushi and drink.

Then I feel these tentacles pulling on me and then staring, wanting my attention, wanting to talk, wanting to come over. He was needy and lonely.  I wasn’t. Why was he?  How many times have I seen men like that?

He’d already struck up a conversation with me from two chairs down which was ambitious. He was smart and interesting fortunately and now we’re friends…I guess. Who knows? We know each other’s name.

I said, “Come on over and we can chat,” and he said, “I’d like that.” I was being a little indulgent as I tend to be with men. They’re like needy puppies. I really need to stop feeling sorry for them or thinking they’re adorable.

But I still got that lusty, “You’re cute” vibe from him after a bit and left to chat with my other friend who I knew wouldn’t throw that energy at me. Yeah, every guy thinks I’m cute dude until they start talking to me and find out what I really think.

I don’t know if some men want to use me to forget themselves, forget their wife who died, or to remember themselves.  Maybe it’s all of those.

But I still feel used when all I wanted to do was hear music so I could just relax and take care of myself. I could have put up a wall. It’s partly my fault.

I have to take care of myself. No man is taking care of me and I’m not asking because I know the answer. It’s all different in middle age.  A man owes me nothing now because I’m not going to have any more children.  I pay my mortgage and all of my bills on my own, no help from anyone at all, including the government.

Why does he feel male privilege to bother me?

They either want attention, sex, food or talking, even from a stranger!
The last thing he wants to do is to take care of himself the way I do.

Maybe that’s just my generation.

And yet, the men supposedly have more of everything for themselves, most of the money, most of the property, most of everything.  I’m not so sure about that.

But you still need more from a woman?

Why?

Why can I feel myself MORE without a man next to me?  That’s curious. The fact is I do feel myself more without a man living with me. Unless it’s the one I really want and that’s another matter.

If you learn how to take care of yourself and share and I’ll give you the time of day.

Because I and many women like me have nothing more to give you guys that you can’t give to yourselves without you taking us down the river.

Essay; Bashing the Women’s March?


Expansion-Paige Bradley
Sculpture by Artist Paige Bradley

Day three and already I see FB posts of women bashing the Women’s March attendees. Not cool…at all. I do already feel like an empowered woman and in no way a victim despite events around me that I had no control over. I’ve worked tooth and nail for that. I wasn’t drawn to go to the event because I take care of myself, I’m single, I have my own money (not rich yet), and own a home. I’m 2-3 steps out from patriarchal oppression just because of that (not that it still couldn’t do me in).

But for some women to say, “You shouldn’t choose to feel like a victim” when in fact, we live in a country that is run by institutionalized patriarchy, is pure denial.

Q: Are you married to a male and have his children?

Q: Are you subsidized by the money he makes? Sure, you make money, but are you educated enough, work hard enough, are organized enough, have good credit enough to stand on your own two feet alone financially like most men could, single?

Sure they can stand on their own. The system is set up to support men to make more money than women!!  There are tons of studies folks, of sexual harassment in the workplace and men taking credit for women’s accomplishments.

If your answers are yes to those questions, you’re a kept woman by patriarchy and probably don’t even realize it because it’s such a largely held value for women. You have unwittingly chosen to put yourself in a place to be victimized by the ENTRENCHED institution of patriarchy.

A Woman’s march isn’t going to solve that but women need to support one another, not bash and try to one up. Until women have

EQUAL education,

EQUAL intelligence,

EQUAL amounts of our own money,

EQUAL opportunity for homeownership and other buying power,

stop bashing the women out there who against HUGE odds and trauma have had to directly deal with a system that is rigged against them. Come out from behind your man and your Bible and face your own fear and oppression of what… life… would be like…. without a man’s protection,

because by nature, they can easily prey on you if you’re alone and it has happened to me since my mates have died.

HILLARY KNEW ALL OF THIS AND WAS TRYING TO HELP CHANGE THE INSTITUTION TO EVEN THINGS OUT!

And now we have Donald and his followers, who think it’s more empowering for women to be pretty rather than vocal and intelligent, wear short skirts, push their breasts up as high as possible and sell perfume and jewelry.  Yeah, that’s empowering like it is for a cow to get branded on the farm by a hot iron.  Fucking idiots.

 

 

Essay; Middle Age Dating


Holy-Fool-Female1

I’m fifty-six.  My twenty-year-old son says, “Mom, you’re such a hippie”. Well, sort of. The birth years for hippies are 1945-1965 so I was born at the tail end; in 1963.

But if you sat in the middle west in a Christian church, surrounded by white people and Republicans, you didn’t get the hippie memos about loving each other. You only got the memos about marrying a nice girl or guy, only having sex if you’re married, only having sex to breed children, sex is generally sin because the body is sinful, anal sex is sinful, earn money, wives be submissive to your husband, and obey your parents. I’m sorry, but you’re not hippie material.

I never thought I was a big hippie but here I am, totally holistic, spiritual, having set aside my Christian upbringing, healthy, happy, into free jazz, educated, mouthy, empowered, and I want to have sex every day and enjoy it! All that happiness and freedom-yes, I guess I am a late-stage hippie. I know all about responsibility.  I have a mortgage and bills, a child, and work.  That’s all a joy to me because I’ve created a life I love and I’ve always been monogamous. I can barely juggle one man let alone several!

So, what is the emotional hang-up of men my age that want to get married? Why would you get married in middle age when you are no longer going to have children? For men; status. It’s a measure of success that you’ve been happily married and have well-adjusted kids. The point of marriage is for the woman to corral a good man to be the father of her children in her child-bearing years. Otherwise, there is no good reason to be married. Love is not a reason for marriage. Marriage is only a legal contract. If love was the reason for marriage the divorce rate would not be so high. Millions of people are in loving, monogamous (or not), relationships and love each other. Marriage functions for the security of the childbearing woman and their children in a patriarchal system and that’s it.

Men who want to get married a second time “to fix” the failures they think they made as a husband and father are barking up the wrong tree. First of all, it’s not all your fault. It takes two to tango. Second, you need to let the past go. You can’t fix it, you can only learn from it. Third, your time is better spent learning how to love. No doubt, part of the reason your marriage failed is that you did not love your mate or yourself.

Real love is attentiveness, kind tone of voice, affection, patience, communication, expressing how you feel, nurture, empowerment and freedom to be yourself.  Not because the Bible tells you to do it but because Life shows you that.  It’s IN you.  Mates are supposed to learn from one another and be good students to one another!  That’s one of the main reasons for the bond.

I don’t plan on getting married again. Middle age women usually don’t. If you want to get a good woman’s attention, take care of yourself, express your feelings, be willing to learn how to heart bond, and prepare yourself for a lot of happy sex because there is no chance of pregnancy for the woman. We are finally free!

 

Essay; Men Have Feelings During Sex


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WHAT?  Seriously?

I read this article two days ago because I’m trying to figure something out.

Sex Reveals His True Feelings

My jaw was dropping open as I read it.  I’m not sure I believe it but it is from “The Huffington Post” and the fellow sounded sincere.  Then I discussed it with some women. They concur they do believe men have actual “feelings” about their woman’s body that can be poetic, dramatic, and deep. The women don’t understand it or necessarily believe it either, but they do believe men have feelings too. But during sex? Because of our bodies?

My mind is blown. No man I’ve ever been with has expressed himself in a poetic way to me about my body. I’m not saying they haven’t conjectured it or that I’m not hot enough to have been with hot guys. I have! But they have not expressed themselves to me about how they feel about these things. Why? I’ve gotten compliments about certain parts and of course the lusty chasing after me and wanting intimacy which a woman assumes means, the man is into her.

We call some of this lustiness from men objectification of women. It’s not really fair, is it?  If we’re straight, we love a man to love us. We need a man to take care of business. But why is feeling emotional and lusting after a woman’s body objectification when it’s nature? The men probably call it art…or love, or passion. If they do not feel passionate about a woman’s body, then what? Maybe they are gay or just not that into her, or have a different kind of brain that changes their libido…like high functioning autistic men.

It’s called objectification if the guy doesn’t care what you think or how you feel. I care more about how a man thinks and feels (and acts) than how he looks or his money. In fact, his mind is what absolutely turns me on, far more than his body. I don’t know how many women are like me. His tone of voice and the timbre of his voice is the other turn on. I do believe most women are like that regarding a man’s voice. I think our brains are helping us pick the right man to be the father of our children when we’re young. After fifty that all changes. But continuing on about men’s feelings.

The author writes, “When a man is having sex, there’s a rush of emotions. When he sees a beautiful woman underneath him or a beautiful woman on top of him, he gets lost in his sensations.”

WHAT?

I didn’t get the memo.  I really didn’t.

He goes on to say, “Most of the time, the minute he’s released he realizes what he’s said. Then he thinks, “Oh my god, what did I say? I can’t believe I said all those things. I don’t really feel those things. I can’t believe I told her how much I love her, and how much I want to be with her!”

WHAT?  Now, your fellow didn’t actually say this, but his “way” and his thoughts did, is what this author is saying. Well, how about that. I am certainly in a dark forest here guys. I wonder how many other women are?

The author finally says, “Our real feelings come out after the sex. I want you to remember that. I’d like you to pass along this blog to every single woman you know out there. Call it ‘dating insurance’. Make sure he has feelings for you after sex — before you commit your heart

WHAT?

I mean…where does it end?  Is this guy high or is this true to the men out there? The mystery of it all.

 

Essay; Sad and Sorry…Pivoted


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I was just, in the flow of things, feeling sad and sorry today thinking about the fact that we are heading into the Memorial Day weekend and I am mate-less because he died March 13th.  That could make you feel sorry for me in and of itself, especially since he was my soul mate but that is leveling itself out now that we’re in May in Michigan.

Michael, my mate, who was going to be my fiance, is still with me. Ashes scattered in the garden, we are absolutely, telepathically connected. He’s with me all the time, still learning on the other side, we continue to teach each other, and he’s trying to earn his wings and climb the spiritual ladder. So, that’s all good, but that’s not the theme here.

I was feeling very down today until my patient came to get her medical massage and asked how I was.  Essentially I said, “Meh” (I didn’t precisely say that) and she asked me why.  I told her I miss Michael and we always had great fun at the holiday, shopping, cooking out, blah, blah, blah, all the traditional things. I’m not marching from grave to grave this year with flowers due to the many people around me that have died this year.

She counters and says, “I’m married and have a big family and I just want to be by myself. I don’t want to do any gatherings! You’re lucky!” She’s the third woman in the last week who has said she wants to be alone! When patients walk into my office to get a medical massage, they always tell me the truth about how they feel.

I wonder what is going on? Other women are telling me that men they know are dying suddenly and they’ve been to too many funerals. For real. Guys…you may want to put your best foot forward these days before the Light sucks you into its eternal vortex. Because lately, on this planet, we women like to be alone.  If you’re not here to help and to love…well…

I’m not wishing it!  I’m just observing what’s going on.