This is usually the case and easy to assess quickly. Most people assess a relationship based on looks so it is absolutely doomed over time. This is a no-brainer. If your heart isn’t open or you have a pile of repressed feelings and trauma, you will not succeed in a love relationship. You need to deal with yourself first before you can bond to someone else lovingly.
Everyone has a type that they are sexually attracted to. That is fine and natural. If you’re in your twenties it’s essential that to reproduce you have as much sex as possible. Then you have to have the hots for each other. Lust comes first and it has to be there. But love takes wisdom and maturity which you only figure out in middle age. That’s when true love can happen.
Young mating people cover over their great lust for each other with the word love to get the job of procreation done IMO. Women or mother love dominates young women too much and they are willing to give up much of their self-love and power to the father of her children. This can be a bomb shell over time. Gender disparity will never be checked as long as very competent, tuned in young women marry men that are not equal to them in magic, or an open heart. There is nothing romantic about procreation and having babies so somebody has to lie about it or no one would do it. So we call lust, love, and pay the tab. The marriage lasts maybe until the last child is 15 and then you are usually done with each other. It’s a statistic and an understandable one if you nix the fantasy.
It is also true that most straight men need mental diversity and fantasy and women are just objects for that. They fall romantically into a fantasy they’ve created that they need to have in order to cut the boredom and project that onto some poor woman. Love is definitely blind for men when it comes to relationships which is why it’s so easy for women to manipulate them by objectifying ourselves, making ourselves look hot even if inside, it’s empty. All a woman has to do is take off her shirt and a guy loses his mind. Scary when that’s all he’s got in the first place. Women could take over the world if they didn’t wear bras and shirts! We do wear them so men can keep “trying” to focus.
Most men do not have an open heart. They have feelings but they don’t understand them and this is a function of nature, or has been. It is evolving. They are very emotional though, far more dramatic than women who are very practical so this is mine field for men. But emotions are not love. Sexual feelings of lust are not love. Men don’t get that. Women need to get that and help keep clarity and boundaries.
I get it and take it easy on their feelings. Women are tougher emotionally for sure. Ponder that. We’ve evolved to be because of our children. We adore them and will risk life and limb our entire lives! Women become monster protectors when it comes to our children, rightly so in a predatory world.
Women and their children, male and female are everything. All life IS THAT. End of story. A mother will always be loyal to her son far longer than any wife will be. A woman’s children will always be more loyal to her than any man will be. So what do we have here? Mothers and their children. The center of the Tzolkin, the center of all life. That’s why young women give up some of their power and expression to men for a time; in order to have children.
Men honor your mother and respect her always and forgive her and she will give you the love and respect you crave. Mothers raise your son to pick a good wife by being an example of a good woman who takes care of herself. Teach your son to be a man by supporting his strengths and not being too critical and that he should cleave to his wife so your children will always honor and cherish her. Note that in this scenario everyone wins.