lust – Time is DNA

This is usually the case and easy to assess quickly. Most people assess a relationship based on looks so it is absolutely doomed over time. This is a no-brainer. If your heart isn’t open or you have a pile of repressed feelings and trauma, you will not succeed in a love relationship. You need to deal with yourself first before you can bond to someone else lovingly.

Everyone has a type that they are sexually attracted to. That is fine and natural. If you’re in your twenties it’s essential that to reproduce you have as much sex as possible. Then you have to have the hots for each other. Lust comes first and it has to be there. But love takes wisdom and maturity which you only figure out in middle age. That’s when true love can happen.

Young mating people cover over their great lust for each other with the word love to get the job of procreation done IMO. Women or mother love dominates young women too much and they are willing to give up much of their self-love and power to the father of her children. This can be a bomb shell over time. Gender disparity will never be checked as long as very competent, tuned in young women marry men that are not equal to them in magic, or an open heart. There is nothing romantic about procreation and having babies so somebody has to lie about it or no one would do it. So we call lust, love, and pay the tab. The marriage lasts maybe until the last child is 15 and then you are usually done with each other. It’s a statistic and an understandable one if you nix the fantasy.

It is also true that most straight men need mental diversity and fantasy and women are just objects for that. They fall romantically into a fantasy they’ve created that they need to have in order to cut the boredom and project that onto some poor woman. Love is definitely blind for men when it comes to relationships which is why it’s so easy for women to manipulate them by objectifying ourselves, making ourselves look hot even if inside, it’s empty. All a woman has to do is take off her shirt and a guy loses his mind. Scary when that’s all he’s got in the first place. Women could take over the world if they didn’t wear bras and shirts! We do wear them so men can keep “trying” to focus.

Most men do not have an open heart. They have feelings but they don’t understand them and this is a function of nature, or has been. It is evolving. They are very emotional though, far more dramatic than women who are very practical so this is mine field for men. But emotions are not love. Sexual feelings of lust are not love. Men don’t get that. Women need to get that and help keep clarity and boundaries.

I get it and take it easy on their feelings. Women are tougher emotionally for sure. Ponder that. We’ve evolved to be because of our children. We adore them and will risk life and limb our entire lives! Women become monster protectors when it comes to our children, rightly so in a predatory world.

Women and their children, male and female are everything. All life IS THAT. End of story. A mother will always be loyal to her son far longer than any wife will be. A woman’s children will always be more loyal to her than any man will be. So what do we have here? Mothers and their children. The center of the Tzolkin, the center of all life. That’s why young women give up some of their power and expression to men for a time; in order to have children.

Men honor your mother and respect her always and forgive her and she will give you the love and respect you crave. Mothers raise your son to pick a good wife by being an example of a good woman who takes care of herself. Teach your son to be a man by supporting his strengths and not being too critical and that he should cleave to his wife so your children will always honor and cherish her. Note that in this scenario everyone wins.

Do you know the difference between lust and love? I’ll go with the hard one first; Love. Love is when you want to take time to really know someone, to care about how they feel, what they need and what makes them tick. You want to be their friend. The problem here is friendship usually turns guys off because they want to get kinky and nasty with their fantasy brains too much. Sometimes women do too. That can get mean which I don’t feel is part of friendship.

Friendship is the basis of all lasting, lusty, good relationships. It takes time and maturity to grow. Lust is everything else. Anything that’s not love is lust. Lust is the emotion behind most human interactions and has the face of greed, trolling on Facebook, offloading on strangers and the like. If you have no foundation of care and face-to-face friendship with someone you are indulging in instant gratification lust and there is nothing loving about it.

This issue has been challenging for me. I’m a very passionate, physical woman and have no problem lusting after men who are very attractive to me. I don’t act on it; it’s just fun. My personality and values are all about love. There isn’t really any other material thing I lust after; unless I’m really hungry. then I lust after food.

That’s a good segue because food hunger is almost exactly like sex hunger in the brain. And notice how many people overeat when they just need some love, affection, and sex. We’re looking for a serotonin spike and some other juicy brain chemicals that make us happy. I know I am. Food doesn’t come close to making me happy the way intimacy and love does. I don’t even like bothering to stop and fix food because I’m busy with my projects, writing, chores, things I love to do! Why do I have to stop and eat? I’ve always been like that. I’m not terribly fond of slowing down.

Now we see a problem here; denial of human need when you know it’s not likely to be easily fulfilled! I’ve been married three times to great men and had several great boyfriends. I’m still not satisfied. They weren’t perfect or didn’t satisfy me the way I really want to be. They didn’t make my brain and body explode with orgasmic happiness, although my last mate Michael came close. He loved me…really, really loved me and I loved him. Love is the sexiest thing going. Then he died suddenly. That’s not helping the situation. Love is definitely tragic.

It makes me wonder about eating disorders. If you take that denial of the need for love, warmth, and affection far enough it would make your brain or specifically, the hypothalamus gland stops craving food. So the emotion of lust would be good at this point versus the emotions around deprivation.

I’m not into deprivation at all but I am sorely afraid of loving a man, pulling him to me, and pushing him away because I need to be alone with my ideas, my mind, my life, my work, and my writing. I don’t want to hurt him. There has to be some intimacy and some time shared with your loved one or they will go away. I hate that.

broken_heart1 I think I’ve stayed in lust mode in my brain because I’ve lost too many people I’ve loved. It’s like a car idling. My life isn’t idling but my feelings about bonding in a relationship are definitely idling. Maybe I’m stuck in lust gear because it’s emotionally safer. There is no risk of having your heart ripped out and stomped on the floor by death and life itself if you don’t go into love gear and really start driving.