What most people mean when they say I’m sorry is, “I’m sorry you caught me doing something I should not have and it hurt you.” They’re sorry they got caught. If you don’t get caught or no one is bothered by your action, you’re not hurting anyone, right?
My first husband used to say, “Just don’t do it again.” Of course, a person is going to do it again. I did. In my case, when I’m mad I tend to say something hurtful. People always do what they feel they need to do, want to do or feel compelled to do no matter what anyone else says.
When a friend or someone I’m close to saying they’re sorry, I believe them in that I do believe they don’t want to hurt me. But that doesn’t mean they’ll adjust their behavior “for me” nor should I expect it. Most people won’t. Our first loyalty is to ourselves emotionally and I guess that’s as it should be. Whether or not the person close to them can detach from the things that repeatedly hurt them or not is the question. After all, it’s not that we intentionally hurt others, it’s that others let themselves feel hurt by us. They don’t have to. They can stay detached from certain behaviors and not let themselves be hurt by it. How we feel is in OUR hands, not others. If someone tries to tell you otherwise just ignore them.
Check how you feel in your heart when someone close to you hurts your feelings. That is using your intuition. If you just have a new insight into their personality and don’t judge them or diss them, then you love them. Your intuition just helped you pivot away from letting their personal issue hurt you and you stayed in your own space. Good for you. Self-love is intact and loving them is intact. But you also have a new heads up to their weak point and can detach next time.
When they apologized did you receive their apology and forgive or let it go? Or did it scare you and now you hold a grudge? If you went into fear and resentment that is not loving. You are using your intuition in that situation too. Unless you move the feeling to your intuition you won’t be able to assess the relationship accurately. That’s why it’s important for both men and women to be in touch with how they feel in their body.
There are levels of apology that correlate with Platonic Love relationships. The Platonic Love blog is a few posts back. I feel humans are called to love at all times; Agape, Philia, etc. So even in professional client relationships, it’s important to apologize and forgive. Love at all times will change the world.