Essay; A Woman’s Ego


 

Woman on a mountain

I originally blogged this on August 26, 2013; 6 years ago.

The book I wrote, “Healer” has a section on bonding; page 240.  Like most people, I believe that men and women have a tremendous amount in common biologically.  And I really do like most men.  However, socially, on Facebook, and in the town, I live in, the more I talk, as a literate person, as an intelligent woman with self-esteem that isn’t a doormat, as a woman who is a small business owner, the more I get called names like “egotistical” and “pathetic”.

So I decided to think about the difference between a woman’s ego and a man’s ego. There are books and articles about a man’s ego all over the place. The “fragile male ego” is well known.  But the woman’s ego?  Imagine, the “fragile female ego” being bandied about.  It’s more like, “New discovery!  Women have an ego! Make a flag for them!”

The definition of the ego is a sense of “yourself” or “self-centered”. Everyone starts out at a young age with a natural inborn sense of who they are as a person unless your parents or religion beat it out of you. That’s possible and maybe prevalent, but not healthy at all. People do tend to feel more secure if they agree with one another.  It’s curious.

A woman…with a sense of “herself”, pride, dignity, accomplished….well, she doesn’t sound very sexy.  Or does she?  Why do I assume she has to sound sexy? She doesn’t have to but women want sex probably more than men do. If you described a man that way it’s sexy.

There’s our first red flag. Women are given the message early on that their attractiveness as a potential mate, for the purposes of reproduction, should define their sense of self-worth. Thus the obsession with superficial looks as opposed to a big brain, articulateness, education, in essence, the character Amy Farafowler on “Big Bang Theory” (who I love). It’s just starting to catch on. And we are ever so grateful to Dr. Barbie and Corporate Manager Barbie to serve as a role model for young girls.

Yes, women have an ego.  Yes, women have a sense of themselves as an individual. Our needs with regard to education, intelligence, level of respect and pay in the workplace, respect in the home, respect from our sons, access to team sports, et.al are EQUAL to men.

I suppose I’ll spend the rest of my life writing and living an example of a woman with an ego who loves.  You can’t love from emptiness.  You can’t love if your body is falling apart because you’ve given your last ounce of life force to everyone else. Women can be an example of how to take care of ourselves first and then whoever else we prefer to care for.

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Essay; It’s Barely Been 50 Years…


Justice

The following list is of NINE things a woman couldn’t do in 1971 – yes the date is correct, 1971.

In 1971 a woman could not:

1. Get a Credit Card in her own name – it wasn’t until 1974 that a law forced credit card companies to issue cards to women without their husband’s signature.

2. Be guaranteed that they wouldn’t be unceremoniously fired for the offense of getting pregnant – that changed with the Pregnancy Discrimination Act of *1978*!

3. Serve on a jury – It varied by state (Utah deemed women fit for jury duty way back in 1879), but the main reason women were kept out of jury pools was that they were considered the center of the home, which was their primary responsibility as caregivers. They were also thought to be too fragile to hear the grisly details of crimes and too sympathetic by nature to be able to remain objective about those accused of offenses. In 1961, the Supreme Court unanimously upheld a Florida law that exempted women from serving on juries. It wasn’t until 1973 that women could serve on juries in all 50 states.

4. Fight on the front lines – admitted into military academies in 1976 it wasn’t until 2013 that the military ban on women in combat was lifted. Prior to 1973 women were only allowed in the military as nurses or support staff.

5. Get an Ivy League education, with the exceptions of Penn and Cornell, who began admitting women in 1870. Penn and Cornell are large universities and have always accepted hundreds of women in their entering classes. Penn always had a College for Women, which was for counseling purposes only; all classes were mixed, men and women. Classes at Cornell were mixed.
Yale and Princeton didn’t accept female students until 1969. Harvard didn’t admit women until 1977 (when it merged with the all-female Radcliffe College). Brown (which merged with women’s college Pembroke), Dartmouth and Columbia did not offer admission to women until 1971, 1972 and 1981, respectively.
Other case-specific instances allowed some women to take certain classes at Ivy League institutions (such as Barnard women taking classes at Columbia), but so many women in the ’60s who harbored Ivy League dreams had to put them on hold.

6. Take legal action against workplace sexual harassment. Indeed the first time a court recognized office sexual harassment as grounds for any legal action was in 1977!

7. Decide not to have sex if their husband wanted to – spousal rape wasn’t criminalized in all 50 states until 1993. Read that again…1993.

8. Obtain health insurance at the same monetary rate as a man. Sex discrimination wasn’t outlawed in health insurance until 2010 and today many, including sitting elected officials at the Federal level, feel women don’t mind paying a little more. Again, that date was 2010.

9. The birth control pill: Issues like reproductive freedom and a woman’s right to decide when and whether to have children were only just beginning to be openly discussed in the 1960s. In 1957, the FDA approved of the birth control pill but only for “severe menstrual distress.” In 1960, the pill was approved for use as a contraceptive. Even so, the pill was illegal in some states and could be prescribed only to married women for purposes of family planning, and not all pharmacies stocked it. Some of those opposed said oral contraceptives were “immoral, promoted prostitution and were tantamount to abortion.” It wasn’t until several years later that birth control was approved for use by all women, regardless of marital status. In short, birth control meant a woman could complete her education, enter the workforce and plan her own life.

Prior to 1880 the age of consent for sex was set at 10 or 12 years old in more states, with the exception of our neighbor Delaware – where it was 7 YEARS OLD!

Gender equity is NOT just for other women. It’s for all men and women as a human rights issue!

Essay; A Woman’s Ego


 

Woman on a mountain

I originally blogged this on August 26, 2013; 6 years ago.

The book I wrote, “Healer” has a section on gender.  Like most people, I believe that men and women have a tremendous amount in common biologically.  And I really do like most men.  However, socially, on Facebook, and in the town I live in, the more I talk, as a literate person, as an intelligent woman with self-esteem that isn’t a doormat, as a woman who is a small business owner, the more I get called names like “egotistical” and “pathetic”.

So I decided to think about the difference between a woman’s ego and a man’s ego. There are books and articles about a man’s ego all over the place. The “fragile male ego” is well known.  But the woman’s ego?  Imagine, the “fragile female ego” being bandied about.  It’s more like, “New discovery!  Women have an ego! Make a flag for them!”

The definition of the ego is a sense of “yourself” or “self-centered”. Everyone starts out at a young age with a natural inborn sense of who they are as a person unless your parents or religion beat it out of you. That’s possible and maybe prevalent, but not healthy at all. People do tend to feel more secure if they agree with one another.  It’s curious.

A woman…with a sense of “herself”, pride, dignity, accomplished….well, she doesn’t sound very sexy.  Or does she?  Why do I assume she has to sound sexy? She doesn’t have to but women want sex probably more than men do. If you described a man that way it’s sexy.

There’s our first red flag. Women are given the message early on that their attractiveness as a potential mate, for the purposes of reproduction, should define their sense of self-worth. Thus the obsession with superficial looks as opposed to a big brain, articulateness, education, in essence, the character Amy Farafowler on “Big Bang Theory” (who I love). It’s just starting to catch on. And we are ever so grateful to Dr. Barbie and Corporate Manager Barbie to serve as a role model for young girls.

Yes, women have an ego.  Yes, women have a sense of themselves as an individual. Our needs with regard to education, intelligence, level of respect and pay in the workplace, respect in the home, respect from our sons, access to team sports, et.al are EQUAL to men.

I suppose I’ll spend the rest of my life writing and living an example of a woman with an ego who loves.  You can’t love from emptiness.  You can’t love if your body is falling apart because you’ve given your last ounce of life force to everyone else. Women can be an example of how to take care of ourselves first and then whoever else we prefer to care for.

 

Essay; Camille Paglia-Some Great Reading for the Weekend


Camille-Paglia

Click here for the full interview for your reading pleasure this weekend.

Camille Paglia-EXCELLENT!

Paglia is an essayist, author, and professor of humanities at the University of the Arts in Philadelphia, where she has taught since 1984. She completed her Ph.D. at Yale under the supervision of Harold Bloom, author of The Western Canon. Her first book, Sexual Personae: Art and Decadence, from Nefertiti to Emily Dickinsonwas listed by David Bowie as one of “100 books we should all read.” 

Her other books include Break, Blow, Burn, a close-reading of 43 classic poems, and Glittering Images: A Journey Through Art from Egypt to Star Wars. In recent years, her essays have been collected and published in new editions, including Free Women, Free Men: Sex, Gender, and Feminism (February 2018) and Provocations: Collected Essays on Art, Feminism, Politics, Sex, and Education, which was released by Pantheon in October 2018.

“I thought Derrida and DeMan and the rest of that crew were arrant nonsense from the start, a pedantic diversion from direct engagement with art. About the obsequious Yale welcome given to the prattlings of one continental “star” visitor, I acidly remarked to a fellow grad student sitting next to me, “They’re like high priests murmuring to each other.”

Love it.

Nevertheless, the poisons of post-structuralism have now spread throughout academe and have done enormous damage to basic scholarly standards and disastrously undermined belief even in the possibility of knowledge. I suspect history will not be kind to the leading professors who appear to have put loyalty to friends and colleagues above defending scholarly values during a chaotic era of overt vandalism that has deprived several generations of students of a profound education in the humanities. The steady decline in humanities majors is an unmistakable signal that this once noble field has become a wasteland.”

Anything focused on real intelligence, literacy, and human beings have been thrown to the wayside.  Mediocrity or below rules the day.

The headlong rush to judgment by so many well-educated, middle-class women in the #MeToo movement has been startling and dismaying. Their elevation of emotion and group solidarity over fact and logic has resurrected damaging stereotypes of women’s irrationality that were once used to deny us the vote. I found the blanket credulity given to women accusers during the recent U.S. Senate confirmation hearings for Brett Kavanaugh positively unnerving: it was the first time since college that I truly understood the sexist design of Aeschylus’s Oresteia, whose mob of vengeful Furies is superseded by formal courts of law, where evidence is weighed.”

WOW!!

What I see spreading among professional middle-class women is a bitter resentment toward men that is in many cases unjust and misplaced. With divorce so easy since the sexual revolution, women find themselves competing with younger women in new and cruel ways. Agrarian women gained power as they aged: young women were brainless pawns whose marriages, pregnancies, childcare, cooking, and other chores were acerbically supervised and controlled by the dictatorial crones (forces of nature whom I fondly remember from childhood).

In short, #MeToo from a historical perspective is a cri de coeur from women who are realizing that the sexual revolution that many of us had once ecstatically embraced has in key ways devalued women, confused their private relationships, and complicated their smooth functioning in the workplace. It’s time for a new map of the gender world.”

She’s speakin’ it. On many points, I agree with her. Crack a book, folks; female and male.

 

Essay; “The Hillary Doctrine”


It is a grievous fact that Hillary has dropped into the shadows somewhat since the election was un-democratically stolen from her, but I still want to talk about her.  She won.  Never let that die.  Never.  She won the election of 2016.

However, just as she was announcing her candidacy, my mate Michael (deceased now asthe-hillary-doctrine-cover of March 2016) bought me a great book, “The Hillary Doctrine”, Sex & American Foreign Policy by Valerie M. Hudson & Patricia Leidl.  I read it in three days.  It is very, very, well written and a brilliant book.

The subjugation of women and all living things on the earth is due in great measure to the U.S. military-industrial complex in alliance with for-profit multinational corporations; tax-payer funded.  This book paints a picture of how that plays out. Unfortunately, Hillary supported some of these corporations in her desire for power.  She was called on the carpet for that frequently, as though her payment for the ascent to power should be any different than a man’s when our government functions as a for-profit business to start wars.  If she was going to be President, there was a price to pay.  I personally wouldn’t have done it and she lost.  These are big failures for her.  She still set a precedent for women all over the world and realized great things in her government positions.  I am grateful to her for these lessons.

The book is a study or a documentary of sorts and is filled with true case scenarios of what has been done to women in Guatemala, Saudi Arabia, and Afghanistan.  It’s gruesome.  It’s non-fiction (true), is documented extensively, and puts our contractors, military, and the U.N. in the hot seat for what they’ve done to women in these countries.  It’s very disturbing and I encourage every feminist to read it.

This book is not about Hillary Clinton, pro-Hillary Clinton, or for Hillary Clinton.  That said, the book IS about her fabulous quote,

“The subjugation of women is a threat to the common security of our world and to the national security of our country.”

Do you think we may have seen this in action on an international scale during the women’s march?  Do you think this may be because Hillary Clinton was known, loved, and respected all over the world, women knew what she stood for and knew who she was, and were protesting the theft of the election from her?  I do.

I ask the Women’s Movement to bring itself up to another notch and conduct itself in a manner that can be taken seriously by the world community rather than a U.S. Pop culture phenom that comes in waves.  Her quote is a big deal.  Read it a few times and then read the book.  The condition of life for women on this planet is as big a deal as the condition of the planet itself!  How many movements fight for the Earth?  About fifty, and probably five big ones.

When I finished reading this book, I had an epiphany about how our minds could shift on this issue of subjugation of women in the war machine.

We all start out as a female in the dark of the womb.

There is no way to Peace, peace is the way (The Quakers)

Woman is peace

There is no way to woman, a woman is a way for life to be manifest

War is the absence of peace, and dark is the absence of light

Man is absent in the absence of woman because he comes through her.

Men start the war, in the dark, in the absence of peace, light, and women.  Therefore, in order for men to make war, they must destroy women.

When men accept that peace is the way, violence toward women will end.  Women must teach men the way of peace.  To do that, we must boldly em-body it and boldly teach it our whole lives, in our bodies, in our homes, in our work, with our children.

The people who believed this and lived it were actually some of our ancestors and some were Quakers.  Look up the history.  Our country was founded to be a beacon, a light on a hill that could not be put out.  The world watches us.  Let’s lead as women…all of us.

 

 

Essay; Bashing the Women’s March?


Expansion-Paige Bradley
Sculpture by Artist Paige Bradley

Day three and already I see FB posts of women bashing the Women’s March attendees. Not cool…at all. I do already feel like an empowered woman and in no way a victim despite events around me that I had no control over. I’ve worked tooth and nail for that. I wasn’t drawn to go to the event because I take care of myself, I’m single, I have my own money (not rich yet), and own a home. I’m 2-3 steps out from patriarchal oppression just because of that (not that it still couldn’t do me in).

But for some women to say, “You shouldn’t choose to feel like a victim” when in fact, we live in a country that is run by institutionalized patriarchy, is pure denial.

Q: Are you married to a male and have his children?

Q: Are you subsidized by the money he makes? Sure, you make money, but are you educated enough, work hard enough, are organized enough, have good credit enough to stand on your own two feet alone financially like most men could, single?

Sure they can stand on their own. The system is set up to support men to make more money than women!!  There are tons of studies folks, of sexual harassment in the workplace and men taking credit for women’s accomplishments.

If your answers are yes to those questions, you’re a kept woman by patriarchy and probably don’t even realize it because it’s such a largely held value for women. You have unwittingly chosen to put yourself in a place to be victimized by the ENTRENCHED institution of patriarchy.

A Woman’s march isn’t going to solve that but women need to support one another, not bash and try to one up. Until women have

EQUAL education,

EQUAL intelligence,

EQUAL amounts of our own money,

EQUAL opportunity for homeownership and other buying power,

stop bashing the women out there who against HUGE odds and trauma have had to directly deal with a system that is rigged against them. Come out from behind your man and your Bible and face your own fear and oppression of what… life… would be like…. without a man’s protection,

because by nature, they can easily prey on you if you’re alone and it has happened to me since my mates have died.

HILLARY KNEW ALL OF THIS AND WAS TRYING TO HELP CHANGE THE INSTITUTION TO EVEN THINGS OUT!

And now we have Donald and his followers, who think it’s more empowering for women to be pretty rather than vocal and intelligent, wear short skirts, push their breasts up as high as possible and sell perfume and jewelry.  Yeah, that’s empowering like it is for a cow to get branded on the farm by a hot iron.  Fucking idiots.