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Essay; Bonding instead of Possession


 

Prince Harry tribute to Princess DianaAccording to this picture, being physically alive is not a prerequisite to feeling bonded. Think about that. This is a common human experience all over the world; feeling the presence of and emotional bond to an ancestor who has died. Working with clients, I believe the emotional-spiritual bond humans feel to one another, family or not, are much stronger than the physical bond and certainly don’t include possession.

Shared values, personal affinity or sameness, sexual affinity, and complementary differences help us bond. If you’re reproducing at a young age, similar family upbringing and just basic lust, bond you very strongly to a person causing you to feel possessive. Just because you feel possessive doesn’t mean you actually can possess another human being. Human possession is actually slavery. People do buy one another mostly for sex and for employment. The latter is illegal and the former is not.

A physical lust bond is actually very essential in young couples for successful reproduction. The more sex you want to have and do have the more likely it is you’ll conceive. That said, once a woman has a child, her lust or desire for her husband markedly decreases and her emotional bond is super strong to her child just due to evolutionary mother love in the human brain. It’s actually the strongest type of real love on the planet as I think we all know. Mothers love their children with superhuman might. Fathers do too but it’s different since they didn’t create the baby in their body. I adore my son. I feel more bonded to my son than anyone on the planet and when he’s around it’s as though a part of me is in the house. That can actually be a pain in the butt because we’re very similar. My brain and thus my behavior goes into mama role. It’s very bizarre to observe in myself and feels very natural but automatic. It’s not a behavior I choose at all!

That said, amazingly, in no way do I feel I possess him nor have I EVER felt that I possess my son! His father and I raised him to possess himself and he does, even though he’s going through judging himself in a perfectionist manner at the age of twenty.

I think that possession is a misnomer because of our materialist based, capitalist system of ownership and human slavery. It’s not a minor issue because it’s the basis of legal marriage and taking someone else’s name. Men and women tend to behave as though they can control one another in a relationship which is completely unrealistic and offensive. This is where the resistance to possession comes from. It’s also a huge political issue that affects the status of everyone, including men that tend to feel controlled by women.

Let’s move to create bonding that includes freedom of movement, freedom to be yourself, freedom to express how you feel and freedom to express yourself sexually in different ways and stop talking about possessing or controlling anyone, even in a sexual relationship. The way I see it, bonding in love is a stronger force than possession or control anyway. You won’t feel the need to possess or control someone if the emotional bond is there. You also won’t feel the need to prescribe “monogamy” to it because if you are bonded and love someone you’ll want to be with them. And if you don’t, there isn’t enough sex with novel people in the world to satisfy your longing. Don’t kimiddleagekissingd yourself about that!

If you have bonded, your quality of life skyrockets! I’m going to have that which means I need a mate with whom I can feel emotionally bonded and passionate. Once there is a strong emotional bond, that can morph and change into spiritual affinity and you won’t even need to use the word loyalty because you’ll naturally be on the same page in terms of your values even as your body and emotions change. It’s all good.

 

 

 

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Essay; Mic Drop


 

Dali-Ventana

I’m checking in with my intuition tonight and I think my rational brain did a wedgie on it. That happens sometimes with all of us. Your intuition is correct much more of the time than the rational mind. Just sayin’.

I feel it may be truer to say that two people who really like each other and are attracted to each other both have very strong emotions and strong sex drive to one another. It’s just a bit rare. Right? It’s what we all dream about. It’s not something that can be predicted or measured.

The one-way street where only one person has feelings is a drag and accounts for my other blogs on this issue. It happens all the time. So I may not be off on that part. I’ve known plenty of emotional men that find it easy to cry and to talk. And I’m actually the type of woman that says, “I don’t want to talk about it”, go in my office and shut the door. Most of the men I’ve known have been more open than me! I have direct access to my feelings and always know how I feel. I just don’t always want others to know. At the moment I’m very private. Maybe that will change soon. I don’t know. I’m letting nature take its course.

I just had to drop that.

 

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Heartset; The Heart is the Foundation for the Mind


Auroral Moon Flower

A worthy motivation comes from your heart. If you don’t feel you need a reason or you don’t have a reason or haven’t thought deeply enough about your reason for doing something, you’re going to hurt people and yourself. If you know you hurt people and still go forward because you refuse to face your rage, you’re creating karma for yourself. That’s called leading people astray while you’re hurting yourself.

You can tell by a person’s private relationships or even if they have them whether they are heart set. You can tell by whether they follow through on what they say they’ll do whether they are heart set and telling the truth. You can tell by whether they make a commitment to something they say they want. If they don’t follow through, they’re lying and don’t know how they feel. You can tell by if they “say” they care but their behavior is uncaring and scattered. All of this is dysfunction, so very viral and so very human. If someone doesn’t want to meet you in person and only uses social media, none of the communication is real. It’s not grounded in reality which is the body, and relationship. What I’m saying is taboo because it comes from the female. Women understand relating, bonding, the body, and friendship. Men don’t.

This is key given all the talk about Mindset and motivation. If you say you have a strong mind but then say that you hurt people or have a track record of hurting people, you’re in denial. That’s not that big of a deal. Most of humanity is in denial about the emotional trauma that’s been done to them and thus they have a closed heart. Most of those people don’t try to lead others though. But if you claim to be teaching people, you need to do something about your denial.

You can’t escape to your mind and think you’re in control. Where is that rage and refusal to think about motivation coming from? How about a heart attack? Do you really need that to wake up? What about cut-offs? Do you pretend you care about someone and then kick them to the curb like yesterday’s garbage? That’s a closed heart. That’s caused by a lack of forgiveness and trauma that you have not faced. It also translates into an attachment disorder because your parents were evil in your youth and are responsible for your scarred subconscious. I get that and it’s the human condition. I went through it too and blew it out of the water. You are still response-able to be good in your adult behavior and choices even though they weren’t.

Energy workers know that you’ve internalized the energy of your abuser, unconsciously, likely a fucked-up parent who doesn’t deserve the time of day or rent in your head and heart. Reiki will help balance that. The only way to get rid of them is to forgive them and sit very strongly in your own soul space. Do you understand how to really forgive? It has nothing to do with them getting off the karmic hook they got themselves on. The Universe will see to it that they get justice. It’s not your job. You get yourself off the karmic hook by forgiving them and sending them to the back of your mind where they need to sit down and be quiet. Your life and conscious mind belong to you, not them.

How? I realized my parents were human beings, very weak, not very smart and hated themselves. They had some good traits but not as many as I do. Our children do exceed us on the evolutionary scale and they’re supposed to! Then I turned around and made choices that made me the opposite and better, I got competitive and very rarely thought about them or saw them until I knew I was stronger. They weren’t going to win and it’s the duty of our children to think like that. Weak, hateful, abusive, scapegoating adults should not win, especially over children. It really is the mistake of smarter, stronger people who don’t kick ass that allows this world to get away with utter bullshit. We like to blame the weak for the trouble in the world but the truth is, those who love themselves, have the guts to speak up and lead and aren’t looking for approval have a duty to do so. Who else is going to really get change going? We have to have FULL integrity though and not make victim excuses! It seems to me that every human, given the opportunity, will offload their BS and attempt to victimize someone else. That creates karma. Don’t do it, no matter what’s been done to you.

I take all kinds of crap for being a woman with an IQ of 140, an Aries, competitive, a leader, and speak up when I feel like it. I only have a few friends and men are afraid of me and call me names even after they find me cute and soft, which I am.  I’m a good listener until you start sizing me up and getting it wrong. I will cut off your speaking. I’m also a courageous warrior which I can’t help. It’s totally who I am.

The cute thing wanes quickly. I really don’t care. Only one man has ever loved me; Michael, and he died three years ago suddenly, so, death is a reality and men tend to drop over, women. Women need to have their own security in place. That’s earth.

I’m not in denial that it is taboo and not popular for super intuitive, intelligent women to say the heart leads the mind but it’s the truth. That’s also saying, women are the leaders on the planet, not men. Everyone knows that you can’t think straight or make good decisions unless you know how you feel from within yourself. Women know that. You have to understand your own emotions or your mind will not function, guys. It’s not good for your health no matter how ripped you are.

 

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HEARTSET


music colorful

 

Music can get you in touch with your true feelings.

True feelings come from within you, your body and your heart.

If a song you’re hearing starts to touch you, follow it to the end and decide what you felt as you were listening or who you were thinking about.

This is key, truthful information for you.

Then, your mindset will decide what to do with the information.

You don’t have to stay in or sit in the feeling. Just let it flow out like a stream.

Knowing your heartset needs to precede your mindset so you don’t just follow any advice or a guru. You’re following yourself. That’s true empowerment.
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Heartset; Rational Passion


red serpent rising

What is passion?

The Urban dictionary says,

“Passion is when you put more energy into something than is required to do it. It is more than just enthusiasm or excitement, passion is an ambition that is materialized into action to put as much heart, mind-body, and soul into something as possible.”

The less precise but widely held definition is;

“strong and barely controllable emotion.”

That one is inaccurate and projected onto women more than men. I don’t believe women are more emotional than men. I believe estrogen and testosterone make men and women equally emotional, just in different ways but men hide their feelings far more and their egos make them more sensitive to rejection. Think about it. Women and men both go off the rails emotionally due to hormone imbalance; women the estrogen, men with testosterone! Those hormones align with a physical workout by the way.

The reason for this definition still being popular is that humans are still most strongly motivated by lust and desire for sex and food. We are still at a basic primate level developmentally as far as our brains. It’s easy to see proof of that in our society. Sex, food, and money are the basic things humans want or all they want and those lusts control all of our institutions, politics, and families. If you look at most posts on social media, those three are the basic motivations.

But the first accurate definition is beyond emotion; it contains rational thinking, observation, decision making and taking action to materialize the passion. Most important, it requires patience and determination. It requires intelligence, vision, and choice. It ends up being a desire to serve and give back as well. It’s generous.

I want to point out that going this route does not make someone “better” than others, worthy of jealousy, derision, and offloading. It means they are willing to take what they’ve been given and work hard to apply themselves to the task they’ve chosen while others are not. They are good examples and deserve respect. I’m not always willing to do it though, only sometimes. It is the utter sign of laziness when others offload, use, and are jealous of someone who is likely equal to them in gifts and ability but is not willing to pay the price to do what the other one is doing! But boy do they swear that they love you. Love is actions, not words. Love is not rhetoric.

I am a passionate person, but because I’m all about transcending my subconscious programming from my family in order to become a conscious adult, I’ve developed my rational mind to a great extent to subdue the subconscious voice that is too emotional and dramatic, addicted to secure habits and harps on the past. My motivation is to help add to the possibility of species survival as opposed to extinction, of which seemingly, we are on the precipice.

Why else would a majority of Americans elect the most self-serving, racist, greedy, destructive man possible to be the President of the U.S., allow pedophile churchman to continue to be the leaders of the Christian Church, allow science to be run not by the scientific method and rational facts but money and misogyny?

All of the behaviors in those institutions reminds them of the values of their family growing up, the subconscious mind; addiction, alcoholism, capitalist greed and ambition, ego, submission or abuse of their mother and then likely her abuse of them, incest, sexual avarice, and the hypocrisy of covering it all with regular church attendance and tithing. It sounds like a bipartisan congressional picnic to me. Is anyone really good? I don’t care about anyone’s details that would print in the National Enquirer. I’m not a judge or confessor nor will I accept name-calling or offloading because I know the truth.

It continues to entertain me to see the level of shock and dismay about Trump, as though anything he does or any motivation he has isn’t predictable if you’ve been paying attention for a NY minute. He was elected by his American children in certain demographic groups who admire his deviant, greedy, destructive behavior. They love how evil he is because then it gives them license to behave badly. They want him to burn the “house” down because it represents their hypocritical, unhappy, racist, alcoholic childhoods. Maybe their mothers were not only unhappy but also sexually abused them. There are a lot of messed up women out there but it’s taboo for men to rat on women or their mothers. Everything is blamed on the men don’t ya know. Otherwise, they’re called “pussies”. Some women really leverage that fear in men and are very abusive.

If you haven’t figured it out by now, in the collective house, the Democrats are the mom and the Republicans are the dad. The citizens are the children. This thing can’t turn out well…unless the Republican party up levels to become a worthy opponent to the Democrats like they used to be.

I’m not better than anyone, as my mother accused me of believing about myself at Thanksgiving, but I am very psychic, can see the truth about people, have a real heart for humans, and deeply want to see our species survive extinction. I have a big vision that I’m not willing to hand over to small visions, petty jealousies, and lazy, irrational minds that don’t remember where they came from. We all have the capacity to be better and do better. I hold myself to that more than anyone else so there is nothing hurtful you can say to me that I don’t already say to myself.

I’ll just keep working and taking care of myself. I really don’t care who likes me or not. I love myself and my body and it works for me.

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Body Truth; “Molecules of Emotions”, Chapter 12-Healing Feeling


Molecules of Emotion cover

Chapter 12, page 250;

She’s in Southern California now hanging out with the progressive, spiritual folks.

“Here in California there seems to be room for a consideration of the spiritual dimension of health, which can encompass such elements as prayer, energy flow, distant healing, and psychic phenomena, to name but a few.”

The time period was post-NIH when she felt unsupported and maligned, so her friend Nancy taught her a type of protective mantra that focuses the mind and the Qi. I do this with my own patient’s as well who are going through very difficult circumstances with work or divorce. When your habitual thought and emotions go negative, it goes right into your cells. Which cells it goes into depends on which thoughts and feelings you’re running. None of it is good for you or your body. I get rid of the rocks in my patient’s shoulders and they return with them again if they don’t stop the mental/emotional habit. Holistic medicine is about real change; not pills. We have scads of scientific evidence backing it up. It’s important to set your boundaries and protect yourself between treatments. We call that mindfulness or self-care.

She felt good about doing it on an intuitive level and called it, “extracorporeal peptide reaching, a form of emotional resonance that happens when receptors are vibrating together in seemingly separate systems. This was before the term subtle energy had been introduced to describe a still mysterious fifth force beyond the four conventional forces of physics; electromagnetic energy, gravity, and weak and strong nuclear forces.”

She then gets into a conversation about how the information has changed our concepts.

“We have to make a distinction between the metaphor of matter and energy and that of information”, her friend Gottesman said. “The older metaphor deals with matter, force, energy, and is expressed in Einstein’s famous formula connecting those elements E=mc2. While these terms are useful for building locomotives and bridges, even atomic bombs, they are not so useful for understanding the human body. Physical processes aren’t things, they are dynamic and take place in an open fluid system, and therefore fit better with the metaphor of information than that of matter and force.”

I absolutely see this as well in my office. My patients don’t hesitate one bit when I suggest that what they’ve been through and continue to hold to as far as a mental and emotional habit is causing the problem in the tissue that I’m holding in my hand. Once they realize it, they can let it go. How do I know what the energy is? Part of it is listening, part of my work is intuition. When dealing with the body, intuition is vital.

He goes on; “Today, the concept of information is replacing energy and matter as the common denominator for understanding all biological life and even environmental processes.” Dr. Pert says, “Yes, and the neuropeptides and receptors are the biochemicals we call information molecules, they are using a coded language to communicate via a mind-body network. They are in the process of information exchange, having a two-way conversation-very different from what happens when there is a one-way push from behind, the way force works.”

Well, our modern healthcare system hasn’t caught up with all of this science one bit, which came out in the late nineties. And here it is 2017. Why should we believe anything they recommend. They’re not updated.