Essay; Sad and Sorry…Pivoted


courage4

I was just, in the flow of things, feeling sad and sorry today thinking about the fact that we are heading into the Memorial Day weekend and I am mate-less because he died March 13th.  That could make you feel sorry for me in and of itself, especially since he was my soul mate but that is leveling itself out now that we’re in May in Michigan.

Michael, my mate, who was going to be my fiance, is still with me. Ashes scattered in the garden, we are absolutely, telepathically connected. He’s with me all the time, still learning on the other side, we continue to teach each other, and he’s trying to earn his wings and climb the spiritual ladder. So, that’s all good, but that’s not the theme here.

I was feeling very down today until my patient came to get her medical massage and asked how I was.  Essentially I said, “Meh” (I didn’t precisely say that) and she asked me why.  I told her I miss Michael and we always had great fun at the holiday, shopping, cooking out, blah, blah, blah, all the traditional things. I’m not marching from grave to grave this year with flowers due to the many people around me that have died this year.

She counters and says, “I’m married and have a big family and I just want to be by myself. I don’t want to do any gatherings! You’re lucky!” She’s the third woman in the last week who has said she wants to be alone! When patients walk into my office to get a medical massage, they always tell me the truth about how they feel.

I wonder what is going on? Other women are telling me that men they know are dying suddenly and they’ve been to too many funerals. For real. Guys…you may want to put your best foot forward these days before the Light sucks you into its eternal vortex. Because lately, on this planet, we women like to be alone.  If you’re not here to help and to love…well…

I’m not wishing it!  I’m just observing what’s going on.

 

 

Body Truth; “Hand Over Your Body!”


In 2012, the US spent an average of $8,915 per person on health care, reaching a total of $2.8 trillion.  Wow.  I’ve been gauging the tone of social media and TV media for people’s feelings about their health, healthcare, physicians, and wellness.  I believe we may be reaching a saturation point with the public’s patience toward the current debacle of our healthcare system.  It’s too expensive and many times doesn’t work to correct the problem, even though you’re paying a high price for it.

It is somewhat ironic that while the Federal Government is gleeful about fourteen million? newly enrolled citizens in the Affordable Care Act Insurance exchanges, all I hear in my office, in person-to-person appointments with other professionals, and on the street is disdain for Obama care.  It’s a mandate!  Not only that, a mandate toward how you are to care for YOUR OWN BODY!  The federal government is going to make me pay an exorbitant amount per month for “what if” health insurance in a system that doesn’t even really cover services according to my holistic values?  It’s supposed to, but it’s not. It’s in the law, but the insurance companies aren’t heeding it.

In 2009, the last time the N.I.H. (National Institute of Health) checked, Americans spent $34 billion dollars on holistic medicine in that year.  That was ten years ago.  We’ve all gotten busier in my field. Massage Therapists in Michigan finally got a license!  I’m guessing that amount is $40 billion now.  It’s going to go up.  Why?  Because one thing psychologists know about human behavior is that people like to feel their own power but then they get scared of their own power, like a child. People like to feel that they have a choice. They like to know that they are in control of their own destiny. On the other hand, it’s a little too late for some people. They’ve trashed their body and mind, battle by battle in the war on their body. Then allopathic care is perfect for them. I think the federal government. knows that, the insurance companies know that, and they’re going to make sick people, addicted people, and people who have not taken care of themselves pay for that. I’m not going to pay for that. I’ve practiced preventative medicine my whole life. I’ve worked out my whole life. I’m sober; addicted to nothing. The physical things I have to work on, I’m working on.

The main thing stopping healthy people now, with regard to their own body, is education about HOW? their body works. They believe that the healthcare practitioner holds all the cards because we’ve been trained in the body and it’s complicated.  Well…it is. I studied just the anatomy and function of all the soft tissues of the body for 3.5 years with some smattering of organ function here and there. I am an expert on how your muscles, ligaments, tendons, and nerves work in your body and how they interact with everything else in the body. That’s valuable information because that makes up most of your body! But, I can condense it and teach you some. You don’t need to know every bit. You just need to know what your options are based on some basic facts that no doctor is going to tell you.

Mostly, you need to know how to do self-healing, how to focus the mind, and understand how your mind does indeed manifest in who you are and how your body functions.  You do have full control if you take it and use it.

Body Truth; size bias has changed so much in six years


J.K.-Rowling-quote-You-control-your-own-life-2-1068x561

“Fat’ is usually the first insult a girl throws at another girl when she wants to hurt her. I mean, is ‘fat’ really the worst thing a human being can be? Is ‘fat’ worse than ‘vindictive’, ‘jealous’, ‘shallow’, ‘vain’, ‘boring’ or ‘cruel’? Not to me; but then, you might retort, what do I know about the pressure to be skinny? I’m not in the business of being judged on my looks, what with being a writer and earning my living by using my brain…”-J.K. Rowling

Thin privilege means you’ve proven that you have control over your appetites and just live a healthy good life.  If you force yourself, in any manner possible, to be thin, you have the privilege of hovering over others who are not thin and believing you’re better than them because you control your life, your mind, and your body size at all costs to gain an advantage in every way.  What society and media have done is cover over their addiction to money, sex, fancy houses, food, drugs, etc., because they have no connection to Source/spirituality.  They are using having a thin body as the token for being “in control” of themselves.

However, if you dig a little deeper in thin, rich people’s lives, you’ll see all kinds of things out of control that they are hiding.  They’re playing the materialist game and it will at some point, come tumbling down.  No one on this planet is immune to control issues.  And no one has the right to assert that they are better or of more value on the planet because they can appear to be.  All the world’s a stage and they are certainly the players.  So what they assert is that anyone who is thick and fluffy, for whatever reason, doesn’t matter as much, is not “in control” of themselves, should not make as much money, and are below the thin people in every way.  I don’t think so. Attitudes are changing now.

I’ve already achieved two of my dreams; having a child, and having my own healing practice. I’m convinced, and I’ve heard firsthand accounts from those who have been heavy and are now thin, that when a woman loses weight, her value and amount of “attention and affirmation” go up astronomically from others.  Thin privilege is real.  Some guys say it doesn’t matter when they’re feeling all warm in their heart.  But that’s only one-eighth of the time that they’re feeling warm in their heart.  The rest of the time they’re a stray dog looking for a b….. to hump.  Then it matters! Size usually doesn’t matter to cat-type men, only to the dogs.

Thin, toned women function to easily fulfill the sexual appetite of men or women mostly, in my opinion. Let’s face it. Sex can go quicker, is more intense, you can move better and it’s all pretty animalistic when you’re small.  Thick people have great sex too. I’m not asserting we don’t, but it takes longer. The men get their grounding through the woman, use her, and throw her-sort of like a dementor in Harry Potter when they can get it quickly.  Fat women are self-contained and ground themselves with love through their thickness. The weight pulls on gravity which helps us center our energy like a magnet.  It’s just a theory.  My son said to me, “It seems like fat people are happier Mom”.  Lol. Maybe we’re calmer, less stressed out because we aren’t competing so much or we’re just less materialistic and superficial.  I don’t know.

It’s a diabolical fact in our society that fat people are treated like lepers. It’s because of patriarchy and capitalism. Fat people are offensive to patriarchal men and women.  We’re paid less, viewed as lazy or stupid, unhealthy, an insurance risk, and not touched as much. My ex-husband asked me to lose weight “for him”. That means he was a dog-type man looking for a bitch, which I was not. The whole notion is so incredibly nauseating at how superficial and conditional people are in their acceptance of others. One of my old friends lost a TON of weight (she was bigger than me), and she seems most unhappy now that she’s thin. Sure, physically it’s easier to move, but now she’s realizing what she was hiding from when she was overweight and I think it’s getting to her. She was hiding from superficial bullshit and predatory males!  The same thing happened to my older sister. It’s obvious to me that it’s too easy for women to lose themselves in relationships, others, their kids, their community and ignore their body and their emotional and spiritual needs.

It’s too easy for men to lose themselves in sex, toys, money, and immediate gratification. It turns some men on when a woman loves herself, knows her own mind and needs and loves her body no matter what size it is. I’ve been all sizes in my life. While I’ve been a Mom, I’ve felt very comfy in a thicker body. But now that my son is grown and I want to zip around from 56-104 years old, I think my bones will hold up better if I lighten the load. That said, I’m not going to parade around a different size body like it’s a trophy which degrades those that choose to stay in a thicker body!  To each his own.

For me, I respect a man so much if he can control any of his appetites and learn to spend time with a woman and love a woman in a relationship as a friend. If he can’t, I don’t respect him, no matter how good looking he is, how many degrees he has, money and accolades to boot. Men are going to have to face the fact that unless they can bond monogamously with the woman that really loves and digs him, he’s a failure in societies eyes.

Re-Program; Prejudice Toward Fat People


I have been a clinical massage therapist for 11 years.   I have worked on thousands of bodies, all body types, male and female.  I had one young female patient ask me once, “Do you ever hate someone’s body?”  Wow.  “No”.  That would be a bit incongruous with being a healer, don’t you think?  Yet, Dr. David Katz, M.D., a fairly well-read and popular doctor, wrote this great article for Huffington Post on obesity bias in healthcare.  Please read it before you go on.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/david-katz-md/obesity-bias_b_3193410.html

He doesn’t support obesity bias either and is calling for an end to it.  I don’t think he delves quite far enough though.  He cites the surveys that have been done in the healthcare profession that show that a good percentage of professionals feel revulsion, disgust, prejudice, bias, and emotional disgust when dealing with fat patients.  They have an emotional response toward large amounts of adipose tissue.  Even people who are fairly large themselves will express revulsion at those with even more adipose tissue than them, feeling that they are superior because “at least they’re not THAT fat!”  Everyone says, “But come ON!  It’s SO unhealthy!!!!” Practitioners in holistic health think that a thin vegetarian might live forever whereas a carnivorous fat person will probably die at 55.  It doesn’t matter whether you’re happy or not?  Frankly, I see clinical studies going both ways.  I dated a fellow who is built large, but he was fit.  He had lost a lot of weight too quickly and suffered for it.  The doctor couldn’t re-align his internal organs for him so he was in pain.  I’m on the scientific fence on this issue.  I think it’s healthier to be happy than to be a people pleaser for superficial reasons. Yo-Yo dieting and intolerance of yourself and others is more unhealthy.  Casting yourself into an elite, “beautiful people group” and exercising 2 hours a day, 5 days a week and dissing others is supremely unhealthy in a myriad of ways…and not cool.  Some big people work out 5 days a week and are still big!

Diabetes is unhealthy.  So is having cancer.  So is having 3rd degree burns all over your body.  But you don’t hear people emotionally exclaim, with disgust, “Your 3rd degree burns repulse me.  Get away from me.”  “Your cancer repulses me.  That’s it.  You’re going to be punished!  We are going to pay you less.  What’s the problem?  We are going to call you names.  We don’t want you to work here.  We are going to laugh at you.  We are going to kick you off the airplane because you have something “different” going on in your body than I do.”  Yes, people have a fear of being around the vibes of illness, especially cancer.  But they don’t have a judgmental bias toward sick people.  For the most part, they have compassion and are supportive.  Yet you continue to hear the social cover-up that belies hypocrisy to obesity, “But it so unhealthy!”  You know there is something deeper going on than a health issue.  What’s going on is BODY TYPE INTOLERANCE.  The person judging needs others to look like them.  That’s messed up.  And it’s very weak.  It’s even vampirism.

You don’t hear people say, “Your pancreatitis repulses me. Get away from me”. Acceptable disease bias does not routinely exist.  But excess adipose tissue gets this special place on the rung of “body alignments” that serves as a social whipping post for thin people or even people who just have body/eating disorders.

It’s social intolerance!~  It’s Projection 101 from the person that has a bad self-body image. If you stigmatize or have emotional (intolerance) about obesity, frankly, you have a body image problem of your own and you really need to admit it to yourself and leave everyone else alone.  Talk to someone who you can trust.  Get some help. You likely have an eating disorder no matter what your body size.  It’s not just very thin people who have eating disorders.  You don’t like yourself no matter what size you are.  What addiction are you indulging in to cope with your self-loathing?  It’s an epidemic.  And it’s socially sanctioned.

It manifests socially as Xenophobia-not liking people who look different from you because you are so insecure.  That’s as old as the hills.  It’s what starts wars.  It’s the cause of divorce.  It’s the way criminals and predators are.  They feel like victims, so they victimize others.  It’s also a symptom of the scarcity model that underpins Capitalism.  Capitalism thrives on the economic caste system.  God Bless America.

Personally, I have been all body sizes.  When I was a teenager (18-19) I was a size 9 and weighed 135.  I was not happy for other reasons.  When I was in my 20’s I was a size 12.  I was not happy for other reasons.  After I had my baby at 36, I was at 170 and was a size 14-16.  I was happy because I had my baby.  And I loved having a cushy, mama marshmallow body. Then, in my very bad, stressful marriage where I was attacked verbally and emotionally and had to defend myself all the time, I got up to size 24.  I’ve been divorced for nine years and now I’m back down to a size 14 and going down and settling down, and dealing with the kind of sensitive person I am.  Because I want to bounce around for the next fifty years and to save my joints, I’m working out every day and eating healthy.  But I feel good no matter what and I get A’s on my yearly physical.

My point is, at all times, I kept moving forward, had sex, was told I was gorgeous, had men pawing on me, and succeeded at whatever I wanted to.  It was not due to the size I was.  It was due to the fact that I am the Queen of my body and my mind and I think I’m hot stuff.  I see how everyone has a “hot side”.  I love all people.  I support every woman and man to feel the same way about themselves.  I felt comfy sitting in my marshmallow padding getting very intellectual in college and graduating magna cum laude.  That’s what I wanted!  I didn’t WANT to be small and bouncy.  My plush body served my purposes then.  And it serves my purposes now at size 18.  When you look at cushy people, know that it’s serving their life purposes right now or they’d be different.

People have the right to have the size body they need at the time, when they need it, for their own personal reasons.  When they want to change it THEY WILL, for their own reasons!  Or, if they don’t want to, THEY WON’T, for their own reasons.  You do not have the right to project your self-loathing and judgment, and teasing onto them, then justify it by saying, “But it’s SO unhealthy!”  They won’t be changing themselves TO PLEASE YOU, WHO ARE UNCOMFORTABLE with yourself no matter what size you are!

This culture needs to stop scapegoating fat people, start loving themselves and taking care of themselves at ALL stages in their body. The health and happiness of your body are in your hands.  It’s not in your spouse’s hands, your doctor’s hands, your kids hands, your parent’s hands, or the pastor’s hands.  What you feel in your body is what matters most.  It’s your body!

Everyone is different.  Everyone has a story.  Everyone has different needs.  Be cool.

Body Truth


Rumi Water

You are there. I am here. It’s the beginning of all relating…the body…the eyes, the voice.

There would be no institutions, no schools, no communities, no families if people weren’t merging the body first on some level or all levels.

The Body starts everything.  It’s the alpha, the prime mover, the core initiator, the foundation for all communication.

From that follows your tablet, your iPhone, houses, communities, networks, etc.  There would be nothing on Earth without bodies.  Mountain bodies, squirrel bodies, bird bodies, soil body.  BODY is the foundation for all Life and all Mind.  All ideas, all money, all organization flows from the fount of Body.

What if we were all, all of a sudden invisible and had no body?  What if everything on Earth was invisible in the same way? What if all of a sudden, everything was just PURE MIND? and we could hear each other speak or feel each other’s vibe but we couldn’t see each other because none of us had a body? What if we were so Mindal that we LOST our bodies because we forgot how to vibrate in our body so that they could be seen?

What if our world was just full of disembodied Minds wandering around?

The Body is Sacred.

It’s everything we have and are on Earth.

It’s how life evolves.

It’s our tool for communication of our Mind and Heart.  There would be no relationships with animals, the Earth, or other people without THE BODY you have. Your Body is Your Source and your magnet holding you here.  It’s important to tune it to the right channel to receive the information you need.  Your parents channeled you into the body but they are not your Source.  They just had the codes to unlock the physical door (the DNA).

Your Body comes first.

If you don’t have your body or like your body, or inhabit your body, you are poor and ignorant.  It doesn’t matter how much money or formal education you have if you don’t inhabit or like your body or use your body to express yourself.  You can be manipulated, controlled, and people can suck off of you unless you sit in your Body Power which is your Mind Power. What you see in front of you, in another person, is a PERFECT expression of WHERE their MIND is RIGHT NOW.  They are on a journey in a Body.  But your interpretation of the meaning of their body is just your interpretation.  Honor that person, that body in front of you as an expression of how they feel, how they relate, what they think.

There is no ONE WAY each body is supposed to be.  Diversity is necessary for all life. Who you are in your body, at this very moment, reflects your Mind exactly.  We’re all in the same boat.

Prose; Sovereignty


 

Image

sovereign state

sovereign country

sovereign nation

sovereign province

my sovereign mind

my sovereign body

my sovereign home

my sovereign god…well

Really?

life is sacred

and then there’s the slaughter.

a country is sacred

and then there’s the slaughter.

a woman’s body is sacred

and then there’s the slaughter.

the earth is sacred

and then there’s the slaughter.

people slaughter.

and then claim it as life.

sovereign life.

“kill what you love and it will be holy”

tolls humanity’s bell

life is a church full of blood

up to now

sovereignty-

sacred-

my reign.

We don’t really NEED it.

WITHOUT SOVEREIGNTY THERE WILL BE WORLD PEACE.

But for now, people seem to need their fences.