Our Veneer


The veneer on a piece of furniture can appear many ways.  It can be layers of paint, different stains, all of it peeling off maybe.  There can even be gashes and dent to the wood underneath.

What the wood is underneath is the truth and it’s rarely seen.  It’s the heart of the matter.  It’s how the piece of furniture looked at it’s founding; it’s construction done by the carpenters hand.  I love watching that progress and how the wood smells.

When I look at any piece of furniture that has been stained or painted, I always wonder what the grain of the wood looks like underneath and what type of wood it is.  Then I wonder who built it and in what year and for whom they may have built it.

All of our social media; facebook, twitter, instagram, on and on, are veneer of humans.  We are all projecting a public image that we want others to think is true of us.  It’s the image that we are comfortable with others seeing.  It is the truth regarding how we express ourselves but it’s partial.  It serves to protect our deepest emotions and events of our lives from being too visible, too vulnerable.  Maybe we are aligning with a group that “fixes” all that was wrong with our mother or father instead of aligning with our true selves in group settings.

I actually accept that about others.  The reason being…underneath we are all innocent children that have had to learn to cope in certain family dynamics and fundamental societal expectations where most of the time, no one asked us what we wanted or how we felt.  They just told us what we should do.  Knowing and obeying those parameters helped us survive, kept us alive even.  So we view that compromise as fundamentally good.  But it is surviving, not thriving.  That’s how the veneer starts.  Most of the veneer comes from religion, state schools, and our family.

It’s something to keep in mind when you communicate on social media.  There is no way you’re getting an authentic picture of a person on any of those sites.  We all cling to religions and political parties that we feel emotionally comfortable with culturally.  That doesn’t mean that a person who is opposite of you doesn’t have a good heart or a stable mind.  It’s amazing how convinced we can be of how right we are when we surround ourselves with people who agree with us.

It’s not about a group being right or wrong.  It’s about caring to know who people really are underneath, listening, and being authentic ourselves.  We’re called to love-not to judge…anyone…ever…for any reason.

foggy-autumn

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Bruce Lipton’s book “The Biology of Belief”


The Biology of Belief

I read Bruce’s 1st edition of this book several years ago when it came out and now finished his latest one with changes just now.  I recommend this new 10th Anniversary Edition.

I was reading it because I’m writing my own book that is a memoir encompassing the first half of my life, with the theme of synchronicity cues I saw throughout my life that helped me navigate family and relationship scenarios.  His recent research on epigenetics and the subconscious mind really opened up another panorama for me as I was raised in a genealogically myopic family.  Ancestry was a very big deal.  It was all well intended, not to be elitist or biased in any way, as my family heartily embraces other cultures.  But it was still overkill.

In my family, I think the purpose was to sweep some skeletons back into their graves; to portray a picture of our family as better than it was in terms of behavior.  This is nothing new.  Welcome to the human family on this planet!  Everyone wants others to believe they’re better than the other guy, that their family is somehow exceptional.  God it’s nauseating.

So, here’s the new deal though.  Bruce has scientific study upon scientific study showing that we are in the 2:98 ratio.  Meaning, 2% of our DNA is from our family and 98% of our DNA is from our environment.  What we hear, learn, see, speak, do, pick up like a sponge and imprint on and continue to morph ourselves on is mostly what makes us who we are.  Your DNA keeps changing after birth and throughout your life.  DNA is not static; it’s active!  Your birth genes are practically squat.  All they did was give you a blueprint for your body, but they don’t control your body.  That’s the first breakthrough.  YOWSA!!  Right?

The 2nd big piece of news is that again, tons of studies have shown that your subconscious mind, as a baby, and even pre-conception, conception, pre-natal, and early post-natal are completely formed by your mother and father.  Holy crap Batman we are SCREWED!  Right? No.  You still have a conscious mind and free will, if you use it and activate it.  What your mother thought, felt, watched, said, experienced, ate, the people she hung around, imprinted your subconscious mind that you have no control over and cannot change.  I thought I was going to fall off of my chair when I read that.  The best thing you can do with this is have a good power sharing relationship between your conscious self (your will) and your subconscious mind (your programming).

Now, before we all panic, do you really know your facts here?  What year were you born? Now go back 12 months (or so) and FIND OUT, if you don’t already know, what your mother was doing, thinking, feeling, and experienced a few months before you were conceived, and then when you were in utero.  That is, if you can. This is big information for you because the way it works is, when you as a personality are not consciously picking your life today, willing the way you want things to go, making decisions, etc., you mind relaxes into vigilant subconscious mode, which  you are not in the least aware of, controlled by…your parents.  Holy crap!!  This is frightening to me. When you wonder why you do something that you did not choose…look at your parents.  You imprinted on it like a sponge in utero!  It’s not your fault and you can’t change it.

I was born in 1963.  My mother’s conscious mind, while I was in utero was in the 1950’s world.  That is accurate.  My house today tends to be retro, I’m traditional, love baking, home-making, cooking, gardening, eating, Leave it To Beaver nauseating stuff feels natural to me.  I can’t help it!  My conscious, birth personality is the opposite, thank god.  I’m a free spirit gypsy, end of the line hippie, artist, dreamer, holistic, musician.  Ah…that’s better.  June Cleaver with hippie flowers and peace sign tatooed on her back is more like it.  I will be going toward that light from now on.

So, if you want to understand yourself better, take your birth year and go backwards into your mother’s time, her way of thinking, and what mindset she was in when you were in her and you will find some BIG answers.  Secondary to her is your father and then all the others in the home and others around them.

 

 

Sad and Sorry…Pivoted


I was just, in the flow of things, feeling sad and sorry today thinking about the fact that we are heading into the Memorial Day weekend and I am mate-less because he died March 13th.  That could make you feel sorry for me in and of itself, especially since he was my twin flame.  But that is leveling itself out now that we’re in May in Michigan.

Michael, my mate, who was going to be my fiance, is still with me.  Ashes scattered in the garden, we are absolutely, telepathically connected.  He’s with me all the time, still learning on the other side, we continue to teach each other, and he’s trying to earn his wings and climb the spiritual ladder.  So, that’s all good, but that’s not the theme here.

So, I was feeling very down today, until my patient came to get her medical massage and asked how I was.  Essentially I said, “Meh” (I didn’t precisely say that) and she asked me why.  I told her I miss Michael and we always had great fun at the holiday, shopping, cooking out, blah, blah, blah, all the traditional things. I’m not marching from grave to grave this year with flowers due to the many people around me that have died this year.

She counters and says, “I’m married and have a big family and I just want to be by myself.  I don’t want to do any gatherings!  You’re lucky!”  She’s the third woman in the last week who has said she wants to be alone!  When patients walk into my office to get a medical massage, they always tell me the truth about how they feel.

I wonder what is going on?  Other women are telling me that men they know are dying suddenly and they’ve been to too many funerals.  For real.  Guys…you may want to put your best foot forward these days before the Light sucks you into it’s eternal vortex.  Because lately, on this planet, we women like to be alone.  If you’re not here to help and to love…well…

I’m not wishing it!  I’m just observing what’s going on.

 

 

 

Review of “Throw Away Sisters” by Debbie Winnekins Deutch


A real page turner. I read it in one day! Deb did a great job moving the conversation along and giving voice to each character. It felt like these people were real. Even though it was fiction, the story reads as though it’s true. And sadly, her portrayal of child neglect and sexual abuse are accurate.

These are such difficult subjects, it’s not something most writers will touch. It’s hard to read when you first start the book. Deb obviously has a passion for the needs of children, revealing the lies of adults who appear one way and act another way at home, and giving voice to the older generation of women who’ve been raped without recourse. Kudos to Deb on a great book.

What Men Want


I post  a lot on FB threads that comment about relationships and the nature of men and women.  “Steve Harvey TV” posted, “Never let a man tell you twice that he doesn’t want you.”  The gist of what I responded with was, “It doesn’t really matter what men want.  Men don’t really know what they want in relationships or even for dinner.  Women are better at that. Women tend to be the ones that pick because she’s the one that bears the weight of reproduction.  She knows what her body needs in the event that she does get pregnant.  It’s nature.  Men are very good at other things but not at picking a woman.  So, it doesn’t matter what a man wants.”

Now, there are men that are exceptions to that.  For instance, my boyfriend disagrees with me.  But he is an exceptional manly man with a big heart and big mind and he’s straight, not Bi. I found a good one.  And, why would I be mated with a man who agrees with me all the time.  That’s no fun.

I’m not about insulting men.  My goal is to help bring some balance between the genders and especially female empowerment.  For the record, I know there are some very daft women out there who misuse their personal power, are tetched or abusive, or just have a mountain of work to do on themselves before they could ever pick the right man.  My point is, as nature goes, women are the leaders.  Women are the “pickers” in relationships.  Women need to steer how the relationship is going to go.  Women have evolved these social skills and we need to get better at asserting ourselves and getting better organized when it comes to picking a man.

Know yourself.  Know your body.  Take care of yourself.  Feel your sexual nature and enjoy it.  Then make a list.  Make a bulleted list of what your instincts and senses tell you need in a mate…if you’re straight that is.  Women that wait for a man to “want them” and then are left in the dust over and over start to blame men for being dogs when….yeah…straight men kind of are because for most men, that’s the level they’ve evolved to.  Again, not all, but most.  Do you want them to be gay?  Great communicators, love to talk and decorate, but no sex?  I guess I’m assuming bonding, but these days, a lot of people don’t even want that.  It’s bad for your health over time.

Straight men have other great qualities and I suggest straight women start to observe and notice them.  For the record, I am absolutely cool with LGBT.  But there are a lot of straight men and women out there struggling too.

Strong men are looking for strong women.  Shallow men are looking for shallow women.  Like attracts like.  So work on yourself and be clear about what you want women; you embody Love and nothing is more attractive to a man than a woman whose heart really adores and loves him.  And in return, if he even half way likes who he is, he will adore you in return.

“Hand Over Your Body!”


In 2012, the US spent an average of $8,915 per person on health care, reaching a total of $2.8 trillion.  Wow.  I’ve been gauging the tone of social media and TV media for people’s feelings about their health, healthcare, physicians, and wellness.  I believe we may be reaching a saturation point with the public’s patience toward the current debacle of our healthcare system.  It’s too expensive and many times doesn’t work to correct the problem, even though you’re paying a high price for it.

It is somewhat ironic that while the Federal Government is gleeful about the 14 million? newly enrolled citizens in the Affordable Care Act Insurance exchanges, all I hear in my office, in person-to-person appointments with other professionals, and on the street is disdain for Obama care.  It’s a mandate!  Not only that, a mandate toward how you are to care for YOUR OWN BODY!  The federal government is going to make me pay an exorbitant amount per month for “what if” health insurance in a system that doesn’t even really cover services according to my holistic values?  It’s supposed to; but it’s not.  It’s in the law, but the insurance companies aren’t heeding it.

In 2009, the last time the N.I.H. (National Institute of Health) checked, Americans spent $34 billion dollars on holistic medicine in that year.  That was 6 years ago.  We’ve all gotten busier in my field.  Massage Therapists in Michigan finally got a license!  I’m guessing that amount is $40 billion now.  It’s going to go up.  Why?  Because one thing psychologists know about human behavior is that people like to feel their own power.  People like to feel that they have a choice.  They like to know that they are in control of their own destiny.  On the other hand, it’s a little too late for some people.  They’ve trashed their body and mind, battle by battle in the war on their body.  Then allopathic care is perfect for them.  I think the federal govt. knows that, the insurance companies know that, and they’re going to make sick people, addicted people, and people who have not taken care of themselves pay for that.  I’m not going to pay for that.  I’ve practiced preventative medicine my whole life.  I’ve worked out my whole life.  I’m sober; addicted to nothing.  The physical things I have to work on, I’m working on.

The main thing stopping healthy people now, with regard to their own body, is education about HOW? their body works. They believe that the healthcare practitioner holds all the cards because we’ve been trained in the body and it’s complicated.  Well…it is. I studied just the anatomy and function of all the soft tissues of the body for 3.5 years with some smattering of organ function here and there.  I am an expert on how your muscles, ligaments, tendons, and nerves work in your body and how they interact with everything else in the body.  That’s valuable information because that makes up most of your body!  But, I can condense it and teach you some.  But you don’t need to know every bit.  You just need to know what your options are based on some basic facts that no Doctor is going to tell you.

Mostly, you need to know how to do self-healing, how to focus the Mind, and understand how your mind does indeed manifest in who you are and how your body functions.  You do have full control, if you take it and use it.

Moving from Ego to Heart/Mind


Expansion-Paige Bradley

Sculptor, Paige Bradley

Can you remember the time in your life when you pivoted from making life decisions based on ego to making life decisions from your Heart and Mind?  I can.

As a young person, from 18 to about 36 years old (when I had my son), I’d have to say I operated mostly from ego and I paid a personal price for it.  I was not mindful of my body, I pursued a college degree because I listened to what the media and the world said about the status increase that a degree would bring (it didn’t).  I reacted and rebelled against my family whose values I absolutely did not and do not agree with.  I spoke my mind without considering the consequences before I did. I got married to my son’s father because my sister thought it was a good idea.  Oh my.  I pursued a particular degree path because my ex-husband suggested it when that was what he wanted, not me.  I let these people project through me because, I didn’t care that much then.

It was all just an adventure to me;  no big deal.  I even half knew they were doing it. But because I was such a free spirit, I knew they wouldn’t win.  I knew that no one was ever really going to get “most of me”. They could just have some of me for a wild ride.  You sort of lull yourself into this idea that they’re doing “your work” “for you”. Ahhhhh. There’s the hook.  You get personally lazy at directing your life.  There is a very steep price to pay for that.

In short, because I listened to and cared more about and resented what others and my family said and what they thought of me, there was suffering.  Meaning, I caused my own suffering by being “out of alignment” with what I really wanted from deep inside myself.  I resented the fact that “my loving family” didn’t see me, didn’t care to see me, and were busier projecting their own unresolved ego issues onto me than taking responsibility for healing themselves and turning their lives around so they could be a genuine support.

This is how the scapegoat thing happens in families.  The strong one, the most intelligent one, the bravest one is put through the freaking wringer by the weak ones to serve as some kind of support or rescuer for them? Not!  It’s not going to happen to me.  It does happen to many people.  It’s the foundation of our political system and has been from the beginning.  And some are just as drawn into the rescuer role for their egos as the person using them is. “Use and be used” you could call it.

What I literally observed about my life based in ego was, my body wouldn’t hold the vibration I wanted it to (I had 2 miscarriages and almost died with one), I was constantly worried about money and didn’t have enough money, I had a lot of fear and worry, I did not have confidence in the direction I was heading or had no direction, and I was frustrated that I had gifts and a strong Mind but couldn’t focus it to make my life what I wanted it to be.  I resented the emotional price and battle with the users that I had to pay to go my own way.  You see that these things are all superficial.  That’s what the ego does to you.  It gets you caught up in others drama, lack, fear, and suffering.

Sit in Love and authenticity.  Sit in your own empowerment.  We are response-abled (responsible/able to respond) in our lives. Love your body no matter what.  Do the work that floats your cork.  Don’t think about what others may say or think.  Do what you Love.  Envision abundance doing what you love.  Plan it out.  Get concrete.  Ask for help from a healer or spiritual counselor.  Don’t think for a minute that religion is going to shield you from hell and speed you to heaven.  People create hell on Earth by sitting in ego, and religionists get rich from the promise of forgiveness and heaven.  Your karma for copping out on Love is real.  I completely turned my life around by going out on a limb and leaving my ego behind and surrendering to Love. My karma has turned to dharma because I worked at it.  No one can pull me back in.   The Universe has my back.

“Inferno” by Dan Brown


Inferno cover

I will not be “a spoiler” in this book review.  You may proceed.  

Once again, Dan Brown has written a remarkable thriller that moves at the speed of light!  I read it in three days.  You have to wonder how his library at home looks and how much he has traveled and read himself in order to come up with all the facts in his novels.  It’s a delight to go on these whirlwind globe trekking adventures with him.  I dare say, it’s the main reason we bother with some of the predictable “Brownian” features in his books.  He’s always with a woman antagonist or cohort in the adventure.  You always feel like you’re in a “Clue Game” where the clues are in the form of a symbol hidden in a secret passageway or doorway.  A villain is always chasing him and trying to kill him.  There is always an evil institution with lots of money and power behind the conspiracy.  And Langdon always has his tweed coat and loafers on.  I think it’s cute.

But in this particular novel, I was starting to unravel as a reader, even getting frustrated.  During the whole story, 80% into the book, Langdon has amnesia, he doesn’t know why everyone is trying to kill him, he doesn’t remember the last 2 days of his life, he doesn’t know why he is where he is, and we have no answers.  We’re not sure who anyone is or why!  Brown delays wrapping things up for all of that time.  I found it un-nerving; even passive.  In every other Brown novel, Langdon was lucid.  In this one, he is passive.  His female cohort, Sienna Brooks is very smart, very assertive, and controls their every move!

None of the reviewers (New York Times Book Review, The Washington Post, or the Boston Globe) made mention of the fact that Brown seems to have put the female gender in the spotlight, front and center in this book.  Other than his buddy Sienna, the head of the W.H.O. is a female, Elizabeth Sinsky, and the woman in black leather on the motorcycle working for the Provost is a very assertive character. The book ends with the two of them on top, shaking things up.  No one mentioned that.  Well, now I have.

I heartily recommend this book.  Try to stay with it and don’t make any assumptions about how it’s going to end.  The way he wound it down surprised and pleased me.  Now, it’s food for thought.  The subject of over-population and genetic manipulation looms large in “Inferno”.  Brown could have made it loom larger, but I guess Langdon forgot about it due to his amnesia.  Pity.