My Father Died Yesterday

No feelings, no different, don’t mind at all.

No attachment, no reaction, it’s like I’m a wall.

Can’t apologize really, he didn’t care about we girls.

We weren’t boys after all which would have been worth the world.

If he had he’d have said so between letters and gabs

But instead, there was silence and non-apologetic stabs.

It’s a very odd feeling to not flinch in the least about the passing

of a man that did this great feat.

What great feat? I only have 2% of my parent’s genes

It’s the case for us all so big deal, sign the lease.

My little sister stayed quiet about his behavior at home

Me, on the other hand, I wouldn’t leave the truth alone.

So “Family is Everything” say the placards aplomb

I say “Self-esteem, the truth,  and taking care” wins hands down.

Woman on a mountain

Earthly Security is Counterintuitive

When I look at those first two words together I see a paradox. Take Hawaii for instance; right now havoc is being wrecked by Kilauea. There are hundreds of examples all over the world every year and more lately that prove that our Earth is anything but secure. It’s constantly changing, just as our bodies are changing due to evolution; either through enlightenment which lifts it up or depression which drags it down. Both are choices left up to us.

Planning for entropy and dissolution may be realistic since that’s what we see all around us right? I only half believe what I just typed because of mass hypnosis. Group thoughtforms travel around the globe and become manifest realities in this hologram of time that we live in. I generally channel and watch them but never accept them. It feels a bit like being an eagle but I’m definitely not a predator. The gift of sight is there though and I often see things coming ahead of time. Anyone can do it if you’re willing to let your mind leave earth confines sometimes.

My intuition tells me that the way we experience aging, death, and disease is not in the least bit necessary. Being holistic for the last twenty years, I have facts backing that up. The problem here is barely anyone does what is called for to transform their consciousness in order to make the dream a reality. Most human beings follow each other, their upbringing and their friends to feel secure. I get that. I love feeling secure too until it hits me that it’s a dream made clear by events. There are no winners here under that paradigm. Like lemmings to the shore, we all go in and drown. That is counterintuitive as well when there are facts that can be transformed into knowledge.

We can transform our intuition about the Earth and our own emotional needs into knowing and accepting the facts on this one. There is no Earth security and we are deluding ourselves to believe in any form of it whatsoever.  A lot of people make a lot of money off of selling you delusional security. Sure, we all have all the insurance policies that come in handy, but when you’re on your deathbed and need to say goodbye, the bill that comes due says “How did you spend your time?” Did you spend it pleasing others and doing what they thought you should do or did you know and love yourself deeply enough to follow your passion and not need anyone’s permission to have a go-around doing whatever flipped your light switch?

Security doesn’t come from money, insurance policies, a good job, a thousand friends, or making sure you have permission to be who others expect you to be. It comes from knowing your own soul, your body, and giving yourself permission to be authentic. That is true power. You don’t lose any of that when you die because it’s not material.
a Great Tree

 

Physical Intuition Counts When You Fight

This is my theory anyway. When it comes to disagreement or a fight between partners, the physical relationship or sex dictates the way two people fight. This is a bit mysterious to me but I think we’ve always known that tension and competition between human beings are sexual. Right? It’s not particularly conscious but in a way, we’re all attracted to each other. I guess you could call it love, whether it’s heterosexual or homosexual. But which person we actually have sex with depends on those pheromones.

My intuition tells me that if a man brings no feelings to my body or his own body, and he feels he can mentally maintain the upper hand in a dispute, he would be incorrect. Feelings are more powerful and primal than thoughts. The body is emotions for men and women. I think this is why the presence of women in the public workplace is disruptive for males, whether they’re conscious of it or not. If they have no sexual relationship with her, they have no emotional connection and thus no real power over her. It is important for women to understand that love and feelings for a man happen in direct relationship to a woman’s physical body (sex). That is not the case for women! For women, feelings and bonding happen first through talking, communicating, VIBING (intuition). Then she decides whether to bring in sex which just adds another layer. Men need to understand that. If she is smarter or very smart, which women tend to be, she can dominate the situation at work where there is money involved. Think about that.

Thinking rationally is fairly new to human beings if not still novel! It’s wet paint on the wall of evolution, not yet dry. Humans are instinctual more than rational. Or you could view following your instinct as rational at this point. I’m not saying that scientific calculations are useless. But without intuitive calculations, they are not as likely to be correct.

Women can be rational and intuitive at the same time in a dispute. Men cannot. I believe women have evolved this ability as mothers in order to control our children. Rational thinking gave men a leg up in the evolution of the hunt so did they get lazy on intuition? Men’s intuition is an interesting subject and one I know nothing about. I do believe it’s there.

My point is when it comes to making an argument with your partner, the more your intuition is tuned into feelings or can read the situation, the more likely it is you’ll be heard and possibly even come to a resolution. Wouldn’t that be novel between women and men? (Sigh)

male-female

 

Snow Crystals

(Thanks everyone for all the likes on this. I love writing prose and will continue.)💜

I lose my gaze in a myriad of crystal snowflakes
wending their way to the earth.

I wonder if they could be the scads of tears, prayers, thoughts,
and meanderings of humans all over the Earth
who didn’t quite ascend their minds to the pure, white-hot, burning light of well-being to be absorbed by the sun.

The snows will always return until humans are magnetic and hot…

The snows return to earth under
the sacred gaze of bright cardinals robed in red and
chickadees who speechlessly honor and guard their sacred prayer.

Their temple is truly the bare tree,
The faithful, the crystals, kneeling to bow to the cold wind easing to a snail pace…
the evergreen, the stalwart, pounding, sacred heart of the earth who doesn’t even know what forgiveness is. It’s unnecessary.

Blessings to all the Earth’s living to be born again in the winter white.

©1/2/11 Lisa Townsend

winter image

I Make My Bed

I make my bed as though someone other than me might want to lay on it to relax…

Doubtful.

Fans, fanatics, stalkers, jealous husbands, jealous siblings, errant preachers, starry-eyed parents, and students all seeking some higher bedding more like a cloud…nothing low to ground where I am.

Doubtful.
It’s so…fake.

“THIS is who you are”. “THIS is who you are”…”This is who you are” rings the cacophony.

I am not going to spend my last breath, defying all of you because you are surface dwellers; American Idol, Desperate Housewives watchers. Fantasy. I hate TV.

I’m glad my son can cry and be tired. It means he’s human. That’s all there is.

I’m glad I can kick my ex out of the house for insulting my talent. It means I’m human.
All I have is myself and time…

Let me divorce all that is not calm and in balance.
Ring out the true madness that jumps up…to lightness.
Jumps up…to levity
Jumps up…to where gravity is turned upside down.
My feet are my head. Who cares? Must we always walk?

I want to live in a dimension where upon meeting someone I like, I kiss them with ridiculous abandon.

©Lisa Townsend-2011


	

I Relate to Every Bit of This

@Lesia.Valentain1. She is not lonelier than those who don’t spend time alone. For some reason, people believe that if you are alone, you are lonely. Girls who love being on their own are an equal amount or less so than those who need people surrounding them. I know you want to question their decisions in isolating…

via 10 Things You Need To Understand About The Girl Who Loves Being On Her Own — Thought Catalog

Let Your Heart Break

Why? Why should we let our hearts break?

Because the release of that hard emotion, the bitterness, the layers of cynicism and resentment of everyone who has ever wronged us, really badly on this dang planet where families are put on a pedestal and should not be, where marriage and love are put on a pedestal and should not, need to fall away so real love of who we are as infinite spirits can shine through. No one on this planet knows you as well as you know yourself so be your own best friend first.

I am no longer religious but I am spiritual 24/7 having walked, run, jogged, sauntered, you name it through life’s fires and have let my heart and body be broken to smithereens. It needs to happen so we are no longer ego-based, looking for affirmation, looking for our parents’ or partners approval, looking to please even some “God” who religions teach have these rules and hoops to jump from a book we have to agree with. That’s all incorrect.

The human body, the brain, the mind needs a challenge to grow. What most people call faith or belief is just intuition combined with a rational explanation. Christianity, in particular, has plenty of rational explanations for its tenets despite naysayers but then it falls off the wagon mistaking faith for intuition. Faith sounds brainless for people of rational reasoning ability, for good reason! Their faith makes them denounce Science!  What? That’s nuts. But Science asks people to deny what they feel and know, what their intuition tells them. What? That’s nuts.

What both scientists and people who sense, feel, dream, and know by intuition or faith have in common is pride, an ego and a sense of self or dignity. They want to be right, to be heard, not made fun of and taken seriously. Well, the people who think they’re more right than wrong don’t seem to know that hardly any human being on this planet is right about anything. It’s mostly a crap shoot. Humans need to be loved, heard, and validated. It’s like a baby crying for attention.

When your heart finally breaks and you grow up, what you really want to do is give all living things as much attention as you can. You no longer need to receive it as much because you love and take care of yourself. The desire to give to all of life, humans, children, animals and the earth overflows within you because you finally feel that you’ve been given the gift of life yourself for a short time on earth, it’s IN you, and you’re going to share what you’ve got going on. So let your heart break open so it can heal. That’s the whole point of being human, and it doesn’t last long so revel in it.

April showers

 

 

 

The Anima and The Animus

I’ve always been fascinated by the inner male inside the female (animus) and the inner female inside the male (anima). The terms were coined by the psychologist C.G. Jung.  It seems to me that humans intuitively know we each have those energies as part of our identity to some degree without over-analyzing it. Women and men are both female and male! It’s one of the reasons that the homosexual lifestyle really doesn’t bother most Americans. A Pew Research poll taken in 2017 showed that 62% of Americans support same-sex marriage. We all know that we’re learning about our bodies and our feelings whether we’re attracted to female or male at one time or another.  It’s no big deal as long as you’re honest with yourself in the midst of it and are careful of children’s attachment to parents.

I’m a trained actor with a degree in it, so I know how to have almost instant access to a wide range of emotions, and tears are super easy for me. I spent two years learning how to do that. But I much prefer laughter and happiness as part of my natural personality. Yet when I cry, it feels like a cry for the animus, the male in me that stomps all over my receptive female. My receptive female, all receptive females are beautiful. She is the bearer and producer of life after all. But is she loved and cared for safely the way she should be? Or must she always stroke the male ego to be loved, even if his behavior doesn’t call for it? If love from her partner is conditional based on size and behavior, he cannot say he loves her.  All humans go through hard patches where our self-esteem is bottomed out.  If someone really loves you, and has seen and knows that you have it in you to eventually come out of it, they’ll stay by your side, not bolt.

My experience and intuition tell me that it’s not terribly safe to be an open, loving, female in our society. Most women I know have developed serious defenses now and will even aggressively act out because there is no real equity and heaping amounts of bias based on gender! It’s very similar to unarmed black men being gunned down by police. It’s appalling and tragic!! Women are at about the same level and I’m guessing the stats regarding violence toward women would show this to be true.

Over fifty-four years I’ve maximized my intellect with education, developed firm boundaries in the public workplace (which doesn’t seem to make any difference), insisted on being treated with respect (sometimes it works), focused on my behavior more than my looks (rarely works), and become very focused and skilled in my work. Guys don’t like it. Once I hit my thirties, I learned how to be assertive and opinionated as well. The other thing that goes on is that as a pretty white woman, I feel no obligation to maximize my looks to feed patriarchal bullshit and make myself superficial to manipulate the system. I feel more powerful sitting in my authenticity. Women that aren’t as pretty compete with me or make sure I keep a distance from the man they’re pursuing (so weird) when I’m not even looking. We are so programmed to believe that survival in this planet depends on finding “our level” as prescribed by the institutions and the media that we don’t even know we’re doing it!

It’s not working. I’m still seen as a girl and treated like a girl. No matter how “male” a woman learns to act in public or how many letters she has behind her name with a high I.Q., she’s still paid less than a man and treated like her first order of business is to give something of herself to a man or his system for his consumption. I would never get a sex change operation just so I’d have more money for security but it seems like that extreme could be called for. It’s not unlike MJ bleaching his skin to appear more white. That’s how bad our society is for anyone who is not a white male.

Thank goodness I really love my work and do it very well because of all of my dedication and accomplishment. I work with the Universe who always has my back on this rough planet. If it weren’t for my intuition and rational mind guiding me, I’d probably be dead. I very much want to be alive so it’s a good thing.

Can Your Reasonable Intention Change the Numbers?

The foundation theme for this blog is:

“The balance between rational analysis and intuition create True Reason. One cannot exist or be fully accurate without the other.”-Me

We need to correct the current scientific bias that favors rational analysis over intuition which is why science is currently in a misogynistic black hole (no pun intended). There is a need for both women and men balanced in both their intuitive and rational mind working in the sciences.

Some analogies could be the balance of female/male principle and the balance of right and left brain hemispheres in each individual that takes us beyond the current evolutionary condition. Maybe an individual is dominant in one or the other but a truly reasonable person is balanced in both. I suppose this alone is a new notion and it is my theory. I didn’t read it anywhere. To me, it is logical.

My question is; “Can reasonable, personal intention change the numbers?”

Quantum mechanics says that it can. A thing can change it’s form and vibration if not it’s essential essence. For instance, the number two is always the number two, but it may look and feel different than it ever did before due to evolutionary adaptation.

1920px-Circles_packed_in_square_2.svg

500px-delboeuf_illusion

Rupert Sheldrake suggests, “Things have habits, they are not fixed by natural laws. Men make laws, nature doesn’t. The cosmos now seems more like a developing organism than an eternal machine. In this context, habits may be more natural than immutable laws.

Say you follow your GPS and get to the right place you programmed into your GPS but once you get there, you see that it’s completely changed its form and feel. It’s so different that you question whether you are in the right place and check your instruments. It is indeed the right place but it’s not the SAME place. Nothing and no one stays the same even though the address is the same.

A person may be the same height and look generally the same but if they have gone through a spiritually and emotionally life-changing event they may seem like a completely different person when you meet them again. This is unusual but it does happen.

It is entertaining to me to observe that after a woman loses weight most people treat her completely different as though she’s a different person just because she’s smaller. She’s not a different person, she’s a different size! I’ve talked to women friends who were quite large and then shrank and they are disgusted at how nice people are to them all of a sudden, as though their very character changed and they are now of more value and no longer some type of criminal because they are no longer large. This type of size bias is very indicative of the superficial values embedded in our materialistic, media-driven culture that rides on the objectification and over-sexualization of women. The assumption is, a smaller woman is more desirable sexually or more skilled sexually. None of that is true at all obviously. Studies have been done showing that doctors are size biased as well toward patients and make assumptions about health that don’t hold up in studies.

In answer to my question, yes the numbers can change but the sums cannot. How that looks is another matter. 2 + 2= 4 is always true and is very comforting but the way that looks in form is completely variable and sometimes you won’t think it’s math at all. That’s where physics can be of help.

The next idea I’ll be looking at is my theory that there are introspective controls possible in axiology that minimize ambiguity and variance so that something, someone, or some relationship can be studied and stabilized. I’ll be coming up with axioms to demonstrate it in relation to Time Science.

Peace out.

Star Consciousness: An Alternative to Dark Matter

Article on an Alternative to Dark Matter

Dr. Matlof has a theory that stars may have their own version of consciousness.

“In the summer of 2011, Dr. Matloff delivered a paper in London at the British Interplanetary Society’s conference on the works of philosopher and writer Olaf Stapledon, the author of Star Maker (1937). One of Stapledon’s startling ideas was that stars themselves might have a form of consciousness. Greg’s presentation went to work on the notion in light of anomalous stellar velocities and asked what might make such an idea possible. His paper on the seemingly incredible notion follows.” –Paul Gilster, 2012

The Dark Matter hypothesis has been invoked as an explanation for the fact that stars revolve around the centers of their galaxies faster than can be accounted for by observable matter. After decades of failed experimental searches, dark matter has remained elusive.”

Dr. Matlof’s hypothesis that stars are conscious is nothing new and hails from panpsychism or animism. Greek philosophers from 600B.C. dabbled in this idea, particularly Plato.

This world is indeed a living being endowed with a soul and intelligence … a single visible living entity containing all other living entities, which by their nature are all related.-Plato

In our modern, mechanistic, detached Christian worldview, I would venture to say most of the world’s people don’t believe that the Earth and the cosmos have actual consciousness.  The media and religions have done a good job of dulling our minds to the real connectedness to the web of life. Consequently, we find ourselves with our finger on the button, a toxic political climate, and a toxic planet.

But why do we believe we are more conscious than a star? Because it’s different; it doesn’t have a body, it’s celestial, not terrestrial, it doesn’t walk, eat, or have blood so it must not be conscious. Why can’t there be different kinds of consciousness in different forms?  Does a brain always have to be gray matter inside a skull?

You see how ethnocentric our thinking and believing can be as humans.  For some evolutionary reason, we really emotionally need everything to look like us and agree with us or we get scared.  That makes us so vulnerable in a world where the only sure thing is change.

It hasn’t been proven that Dark Matter exists, so what can account for the stars holding in place?

Does Dark Matter Exist?

In 1978, astrophysicist Vera Rubin concluded that the observable motions of galaxies couldn’t be explained by the laws of Newtonian physics alone. Due to the speed of the galaxies’ rotation, the stars on their edges would fly away if the only thing holding them in place were the visible matter.”

We’re not sure about the stars, but my intuition tells me that what holds me here, in my body, is my intention, my mind, my will which says, “I like my body and the planet and I want to be here.” If that force can hold me in place, maybe it can hold a star in place as well.” We’ll have to see if we can prove otherwise.

stars