Mindset; The Black Widow Woman MYTH


I’ve been accused three times, with men I’ve dated, liked or known, of being a black widow and it’s ridiculous and offensive.  I am literally a widow (twice) and a single woman but I’m not analogous to a black widow spider! Black Widow refers to the arachnid female spider called the Black Widow. It refers to the action of many INSECTS, not mammals who inject a male, with whom they have just mated, with poison and eat him for nutrition. Apparently, calories are hard to come by in the arachnid world and in order to grow their eggs/offspring, they need food. There are a few scientific theories about why this behavior occurs but none of it crosses over to mammalian behavior.

Spiders are not the only ones who do it. Praying mantis and many other insects do it as well to their male mating partners; biting off their heads after mating. I wasn’t there when the arachnids had their meeting on how to deal with evolution but the propagation of the species does tend to come first in the entire animal and plant kingdom. Sometimes a sacrifice has to be made. lol. The exception among spiders is the male Wolf Spider who eats his female mate, so that does occur.

Getting to my point. humans are warm-blooded MAMMALS meaning the females have highly nutritious food-producing mammary glands for our offspring and very horny male mates who just can’t get enough of our breasts. As a female who has had a baby and several mates, I can vouch for the fact that we love giving it to them as well as the rest of our bodies. It’s an instinct!  In addition, female mammals are known for continuing to be nurturing and affectionate to children and mates even after they are weaned! GEE! That’s pretty nice. Feminism and having our own money has not completely ruined our loving mammalian instincts. I don’t see women spinning webs and growing eight legs yet even if they do become more aggressive and smarter.

Interesting isn’t it? The fact is, female mammals have a huge instinct to feed and nurture the males not cannibalize them. The male mammals are very aggressive with one another, however. Of course, this is very hard wired in female mammalian brains to nurture their own family and even perfect strangers or their children! It’s a beautiful thing, so men need to beg off calling us black widows or being scared of great, loving women.

It’s all the more offensive to me as a very generous, nurturing, female mammal to be made analogous to a cold-blooded, arachnid spider who eats her mate in cannibalistic sex after mating. The men I’ve known have “jokingly,” said, “I better be careful of you!” when they find out two of my mates died. The truth is, all three men have been married to overly aggressive women or women who eventually decided they were lesbian. Again, I wasn’t there at the meeting but I’m as straight and as nurturing as can be; not a lesbian.

The fact is, my son’s father died four years ago today, December 30, 2015, from cancer all over his body because he lived a life of rage and cigarette smoking. He caused his own death even though his brothers scapegoated me upon his death. My boyfriend Michael died three months later from the flu which turned into pneumonia. That happens often. And with people who have weak lungs or are generally unhealthy, it’s even more common. Michael did not take care of himself either and did have weak lungs. Instead of compassion for all of this loss I’ve gone through, because I’m intelligent and confident, I’ve been blamed for the death of males as though my very existence was a threat to them. I deserve love and compassion for what I’ve been through, not blame, competition from women, or attempt to vampire my energy because I know who I am. I’m on this planet to help, not to harm and I need reciprocation from a new, straight mate.

Women and men do take turns blaming each other for each other’s demise when the truth is, our health and happiness lie in our own hands. But we can simply help one another when it’s appropriate. The black widow accusation is just another way for certain men to escape taking responsibility for maturing when it comes to bonding and honoring their feelings for a certain woman. Many continue in their socially sanctioned slutty ways of hook-ups and friends with benefits. That’s fine but I’m not doing it. Maybe they miss their very mean ex’s and they don’t want a kind, nurturing woman. That’s always possible but I don’t attend low self-esteem meetings either.

She doesn’t look like an arachnid to me.

Closeup portrait of loving couple

 

Heartset; Love and Lust are a Two-Way Street


Both women and men love and lust. Women don’t just attract men with their loving relationship skills and men don’t just attract women with their constantly lusty energy. There are plenty of women who no longer believe in love and have just given in to the lust paradigm of hook-ups, use, and throw which is what most men engender. So the women just go along with it having experienced too many men who don’t seem to want to love or don’t know how to. The women are busier making money than teaching the men about feelings or loving them in friendship.

There are also plenty of loving, sensitive men who do want intimacy, bonding, and a monogamous relationship. The key is obviously to find the person who wants the same thing as you. And it’s hard for men to trust women when many women are very bitchy or downright abusive and mean. They don’t take care of themselves and are in no mood to be loving to a man.

It does seem to generally be true that men are very, very comfortable lusting after women and just going forward with that and wishing for the woman to cooperate. It’s also generally true that women are more relational and loving and draw men in with that warmth going forward and wish a man would cooperate with that. The problem is, most women will not just cooperate with pure lust in a relationship with no bonding and most men will not just cooperate with pure loving relational energy in a relationship with bonding. There has to be compromise.

The truth is men sorely, sorely need someone who they can express their deepest feelings with and feel safe; someone who will be their friend with whom they can talk. They need a relationship far more than a woman. That can happen with a kind woman. The truth is women sorely, sorely need hot, great sex that fulfills their physical needs with a man who cares how she physically and emotionally responds to sex. Sex is spiritual to most women! We need a man who will stimulate our lustiness! I have yet to meet a man who really wants to get to know my body and soul sexually. I’ve almost given up. I wonder if men feel the same way about expressing their feelings to a woman without her making fun of him?

I don’t know. What I do know is that a woman’s lusty self needs to be stimulated by a man and a man’s relational self needs to be stimulated by a woman. Then both of them will be more satisfied and turned on.

 

anima and animus

Heartset; The word “Love” is a prison?


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I find loving others to be freedom. There aren’t different kinds of love as love is a unified singularity in the universe.

Love is expressed differently to different people based on social customs. All love has a physical connection and expression with it. We hug our parents and kiss them on the cheek,  maybe hold or rub their hand. Those physical expressions are the same for friends.

They are the same for lovers but Eros is added to it. However, it’s important to have that physical contact in a friendship before sex. It just seems very dysfunctional to me to have sex with someone unless they are your friend first and you’ve loved each other for a while.

Of course, talking, communicating and understanding each other all enter into all of those relationships as well. But it appears to me that men view loving someone, anyone, as a type of prison. I’m mystified. Truly. Love is all there is! Don’t be afraid to say it, do it, feel it,  or live it. It’s the only thing we truly need and absolutely cannot do without.

What we know now is guilt, self-loathing, perfectionism, illness and addiction wear away at your core of self-love. Self-love is being your own best friend, who you are and how you take care of yourself when no one else is around. Treat yourself the way you would your best friend. I do that now and it helps me feel secure in knowing my value in relationships.

Intuition; Empathic, Intuitive, Creative Straight Men


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I don’t think anyone knows they exist. Yet that’s the only type of man I’ve ever partnered with and in addition, they are super intelligent. Talk about freaks and geeks. They are right up my alley and this planet is very stressful and nye on impossible for these men.

This has hit my consciousness because my good friend is building an empathogenic center in Costa Rica. Empathogens are;

  • Psilocybin mushrooms
  • LSD
  • MDMA (Ecstasy)
  • Ayahuasca
  • Ibogaine

Some only consider MDMA and drugs similar to it to be empathogens but he listed all of these. Why is it mostly men that need empathogens? Because women are naturally or societally sanctioned to feel their feelings? Women don’t need them. I certainly don’t. But we know for a fact that men and women both have feelings. It’s just that women are encouraged to express them and men aren’t. In addition, some women are extremely mean and even abusive to sensitive men. This is a taboo subject and many men won’t speak up. But I do know that women can be just as cruel as men.

No man I’ve ever been with has used these drugs and neither have I. The men I’ve been with have only used the legal, awful stuff; cigarettes and alcohol and consequently died from both of those. Those two are worse for you than any of the ones above. Another friend was basically raised to use weed constantly and in his twenties, he’s already impotent. People say pot can’t hurt you but men who become estrogen dominant because of cannabis and lose their testosterone levels are definitely hurt if they lose their sex drive.

Artistic men express their feelings through music, acting, or art and more. Mystic, healer and sensitive men do. My son does and he is struggling to find a mentor as his elder with which to find affinity. His father, who was a savant musician died three years ago so he no longer has him. He hears music in his mind constantly; complicated harmonies which need orchestration. He needs to make a decision about whether to learn to orchestrate or not and whether or not to accept the type of brain he has. The therapists want to call him schizoaffective but I believe he’s just a channel and needs to get it out. Is he really going to take pills or could he use the natural substances listed above? The jury is still out on it. He might not need it since he is already empathic. Duplicating it would not be good for his brain. There is no substitute for a conscious, informed choice in these circumstances.

Have you ever known anyone who has used these natural hallucinogens? Please leave a comment if you have.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Heartset; For Women; Red Flags to Spot Bisexual Men


anima and animus

If you’re not looking for a heterosexual partnership, then none of this will matter to you. I am looking for that. This is the second time it’s happened to me and now I’ve learned to spot the cues. Please note, this is not a judgment in any way, shape or form of bisexual men. However, I feel they should be upfront about being bisexual if they are active before they ask you to have sex with them. This last fellow was not honest, at all, presents as straight in public and maybe in the closet. In fact, he’s faked out quite a few women to take advantage of them.

The cues are:

  1. They’ve never been married and have no children even in their 50’s.
  2. They admit they’ve been serious with 2-3 women in their life.
  3. They admit they do not want a relationship. In other words, they are promiscuous or at least polyamorous.
  4. They admit having unresolved childhood abuse issues.
  5. They call multiple women sweetie, honey, throw around the kissing emoji’s on social media like they’re candy, and are very goopy publicly with straight women. No straight guy is like that with women. No way no how. It’s gay.
  6. He is very good looking and does all the superficial landscaping and tanning of his body to lure women in like Fabio. LOL
  7. He likes money and to be perceived as alpha compared to straight men
  8. Most of his followers are women
  9. Most of his activity is on social media, not in person because he knows you’ll be able to scope him out too easily and learn the truth.

What do you think? Have you known men like this? Am I onto something or am I off? No hate mail, please.

You may be alone or single and in need of male attention which makes you vulnerable. After all, straight guys are not known for being very expressive, romantic, or sweet; not like gay men! Some women like or need that more than others which makes you an easy touch for a good looking bi-sexual man who will use and throw you.

You’ve been warned. Being a straight woman is no picnic these days because straight men are in the throes of social change. As you know from reading my blogs, I endorse self-care and not needing a man to adore you. The synchronicities start to line up and it’s very likely you’ll attract a soul mate or your Twin Flame as you center yourself in self-love. That’s where I’m finally sitting. Being lusty about men has gotten me into a heap of trouble. I’ve decided it’s not worth it anymore.

 

Mindset; Vampiring Energy from Others


 

cropped-book-finished-everyday-intuition-cover-jpg.jpgSometimes, when you know another person who is more conscious, better at loving and taking care of themselves, has achieved independence or interdependence and has the money they need, you think that by trying to align as an equal you’ll gain an advantage for yourself. After all, they must have plenty to spare since they’re so abundant?

No. You’re in a vampiric mindset. Instead, be grateful that you have a teacher and listen to what they have to say. Someone who is more together than you is due your respect, not your usage. They’re not a guru or due homage; just respect. Don’t try to use them as though they are your friend or you will have more karma on your head. If they are awake, they’ll be able to tell what you’re doing and not allow it. Use your intuition.

Everyone makes different choices and comes to the planet for different lessons. In essence, we are mostly students and teachers for one another but once in a while, you find someone at your same level of awakening who can be your friend; someone with whom you can share your heartbreak and fears who you can trust won’t stab you in the back while you’re down. That’s what lightworkers have to watch out for. Even other lightworkers will do it not understanding that they haven’t taken full responsibility for their bad choices nor apologized to people they should apologize to because of their ego. We all still have some ego but it should wane as we mature.

Many people carry unconscious, “I’m a victim” energy, especially from their families that they haven’t overstepped. In that case, the usage of others is so normal that they don’t think a thing about it. Their energy is gimme, gimme, gimme and their motivation for giving something to you is to get something in return that they need. They don’t care about you. They assume you know how to give yourself everything you need and don’t need others. That’s never the case. In fact, it is believed in spiritual circles that even God needs us for the company. That may be the motivation for creating worlds. Everyone has needs.

We are most vulnerable with family members who wrongly make the assumption that just because you share DNA, not necessarily RNA, you’ll freely give them your ideas and energy to use for themselves. Don’t do it. Family members are notorious for using each other instead of taking care of themselves. Our whole culture supports the dysfunctional cycle and many are not aware that they are still in it.  One look at their health picture/body will tell you the truth.

Sharing is important but be discerning about with whom you share yourself, your ideas, and your feelings. Sometimes the person you think you can trust the most is the one you should trust the least. I’m learning from Twin Flame right now as an equal but that’s been ongoing for three years. We continually learn from one another. It’s all good.

Heartset; Privacy or Secrets?


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The desire for privacy is vastly different than wanting to keep secrets. Intelligent people can feel whether you’re authentic or not. If you keep secrets, it’s a lie and manipulative. Spinning an image is politics and greed.

Privacy is for mystics and artists who need silence to hear their muses and manifest truth that comes out of their feelings and body. Privacy is needed to channel the intuition and bring forth Love.