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I’m Sort of Training Him


zooskHe’s acting more like a human being than a dog in heat now through my gentle instruction. I’m teaching him how to treat me which I think all men need. Yes it makes them high maintenance but some of them are so dang cute, I do bother with it.  Still, this guy is a live wire. Good thing I guess because I tend to be too. For my young readers, we’re in our late 50’s and sex gets hotter not less hot, just for the record. There is plenty of libido there. I’ve been through this too many times with men not to know what’s going on.

Men are very emotional; far more than women yet they have no societal permission to express it. They express it through sexuality if given the opportunity. I accept it now. I’ve seen it so many times that it would be like asking a dog not to bark or a baby not to cry. Men are lusty.

Some cultures also have the matriarchal thing going on where the man’s mother either adored him too much and never emotionally let him go or the opposite. Either way, it messes with a man’s intimacy wiring. He is a very handsome Hispanic, very foxy, super hot lips and…everything. But I’ve heard the Hispanic mothers love their children more than any man or anything in the world. Maybe the adoration is over the top and the males can’t bring themselves to be truly intimate with another woman; a heart bond specifically.

Once again, he has children but never married. I’m only hearing this on Zoosk from the Hispanic men. Interesting. Holy crap, as a white woman, I try to fathom HOW? a man can have three children with a woman and never love her enough or the family enough to marry her? And why would a woman do that with a man? In the white culture, we’re taught that you owe it to the woman and children to show your loyalty, support, and presence for her and the children through that ritual and then you’re monogamous during that time. My followers know I don’t believe marriages last and that’s nature, but while you’re young and have a family, I do believe you need to be married. I’m thinking these men have yet to ground their emotional independence from mother and family and thus, they can barely begin or ground their own family. Sounds tragic to me and is quite enlightening.

I need a heart bond with a man or I’ll find my lusty self using his ass. See, that’s what’s unfair! So say we do have hot sex. He cannot think, by a long stretch, that he, or I, are in love with each other and circle wagons around me. So then you’re in that territory and someone will get hurt because there is some kind of intense attachment there because of the sex but it’s not love. I know that but I don’t think he will.

I know we have nothing in common. I know he’s not my type in terms of personality. I am reminded of the line from Bernadette on Big Bang Theory when she was chatting with Penny in her room about having a hookup. She said with a huge smile on her face, “You mean like having your way with him and throwing him to the curb with teeth marks on his hiney?” Penny says, “I’m not going to do that!” But then she changes her mind. That’s what being horny does to us and we don’t prefer doing it. Yes, we like hot sex as much as men but it starts to complicate things.

I just don’t know. My twin flame emailed me back this morning and he was such a brat. He either treats me like a queen or like he acts like he hates me and won’t forgive the missteps when I was out there. Seriously, what is that?? He is resisting his feelings for me I think and because I’m in love with him and he knows it, I’m not going away. He can push all he wants, like until we die and I’ll see him on the other side.

Then I live with unrequited love. I have no control over a man’s heart and I have no control over who I love and who I don’t. It just follows nature, like my body. What should I do? Will a liaison with this Zoosk guy mess up the vibe with my Twin Flame? My intuition says it might. But I’m not one to live with unrequited love either.

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He asks, “Do you show your cleavage?”


zooskI’m not renewing when this subscription is up. Bunch of losers. Isn’t there enough porn online without treating good women who are looking for good company like prostitutes?

Once again, he’s pretty good looking, has a good job, blah, blah, blah. Butters me up and says, “Hi beautiful”. I haven’t met this chap in person yet. I’m not a prude once I like someone but you guys make a huge mistake not just hiring a prostitute for a hookup and wasting the time of good, smart women. If you are a slut, have no self-esteem and are an active addict, do us a favor and leave us alone. You need to hire a woman. We don’t want you because you don’t want yourself.

He wants mostly sex pictures and to talk because he’s lonely away from home at his job site. He asked to see my cleavage today, which is perfectly fine and adequate by the way. MY MIND is even better but he’s not interested in that. Haven’t you guys gotten the memo that the human mind is the biggest sex organ? He can take my word for it. Not even so much as a “Howdy ma’am” or “How are you?” Just, right to the point of his buttering me up. He’s toast and I’ll give him his butter back to put on it.

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A Woman Changing Her Body Size


zoosk
ZOOSK.

We all know it’s a power and culture issue for a woman or man to change in body size; smaller or bigger. Think about what that says about human behavior. We’re animals. Animal dominance in the wild is based on size, usually, the bigger one being dominant. But that’s not the case in human society because the demands in our environment to survive are different than animals in the wild.

In human society, youth and speed are prized as well as flexibility, at least by the white culture. I’ve noticed on Zoosk that the handsome white men don’t chat me up and they have fairly desirable characteristics. After talking to my friend Gia who is black, she told me she thought I was black. She’s only seen my pictures, not me in person. But it is definitely true that black men have predominantly been attracted to me throughout my life and on Zoosk. I thought it was caused by my personality being a strong woman, not my body size or look. I think I was wrong. My skin is pretty white. I guess my features aren’t. Chalk one up for denial.

I love the black culture but I was raised as whitey white as can be! I don’t fit well in the white culture though. I grant everyone that. Still, three of my best friends are white women and three of my other besties are black. I guess I’m culturally both!

I’ve noticed that handsome white men prefer soft, docile blonde women and everyone else goes for dark-haired, strong women. So Arab, Indian, and Black men chat me up on FB but not Hispanic men. What’s that about? They are more macho I think and prefer a traditional hetero role for women while they’re free to run about? I really don’t know. I’ve never been married to or dated a Hispanic man but my twin flame is Hispanic. Is he dragging his feet because our cultures are so different?

He made a comment while I was out there, “I’m as Mexican as can be ya know. I’m not like a white man.” What the hell is that supposed to mean O enlightened one? I don’t care about that. I like the Hispanic culture too! My breasts are female and adequate and men are men. You would think that would suffice? Then there’s the fact that he is Spanish heritage based on his last name so he is European! He looks it too. Sheesh. So he doesn’t have any feelings for me because to HIM, I’m white and he definitely rags on the white culture? Maybe. I can’t win. Then he’s not awake. I hate all of this human superficiality so much and really, never paid any attention to it growing up so I think I’m behind on what “I’m supposed to know”. I never wanted to get married so I didn’t pay any attention! That and my family accepted all different cultures; especially my grandparents.

I don’t know what changing body size is going to say about me culturally but I resent being aware of it at all! I just wanted to be healthier. I don’t want to believe I will all of a sudden be acceptable in the white culture because I’m thin and beautiful but I think that is how superficial people are. And then will I be resented by my black friends in whose culture it’s expected that women are fluffy? And to my twin flame, god only knows.

Size bias and culture are fascinating and I have no answers. I just see the behaviors and find it odd. I’m getting too many comments about my looks on social media as opposed to my content. Makes me mad. That doesn’t happen to men. I’m happy to hear your comments and I’m going to stop thinking about it. I will be taking notes though as I shrink and I am shrinking fast.

I’ll have to come up with a way to give a verbal boundary. No doubt, it will make me sound like a grumpy bitch but I don’t care. I think people need to be made aware of their double standard comments regarding looks for women and men and cut it out. What about humans loving each other no matter what??

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You Have to Reach Out to Him First


zooskZoosk again. *Sigh*. I had a male friend say, “I think currently, men want to you to reach out to them first.” “Oh really? It wasn’t like that when I was younger. So that’s changed over time.”

Ok. Not a problem. I know who appeals to me and who doesn’t so that’s what I did. My profile and is nice and honest. I’m not negative at all. My pictures are pretty. I get a ton of views and really troll-like men sending hearts but a few good ones. I respond. When I get chatted up by a decent, clean, intelligent guy, I’m happy to meet for coffee as long as he doesn’t have a gigantic cross hanging around his neck. I’m only interested in spiritual guys; no religion. Religion is just an emotional cover for addiction. The maturity timeline goes like this; active addict believes nothing and resents his family, then religious and sober forgave his family, then sober, self-defined, independent from family and spiritual. It is extremely rare to find a male at the 3rd level but that’s all I have time for.

Now coffee is barely happening. They don’t show up or follow-up to set it up!!!

It’s just coffee!! What is so serious and weird for a guy emotionally about coffee? I’m mystified. There is no fantasy here. We’re just meeting each other. I’ve heard that men are so insecure that they “hope” you’ll like them. Well, how can I know if you don’t show up for an agreed-upon date?

I guess their egos are so fragile that the prospect of getting shot down by a beautiful, intelligent woman is too scary? Wow. There is no woman I know who has so much ego invested in a hot, smart guy that she’d lay her self-esteem on the line for his approval or non-approval. Why are you guys so down on yourselves?

Can you just relax? I think they think women like me are monsters. I really don’t know.

Thank God I’m in touch with my Twin Flame but he’s sitting on his hands too…or something, as though he has a local supply of what he needs which apparently isn’t love; just security and habitual “male activity”. Typical. They never want love because they don’t know what it is. I know…I’m cynical or maybe just realistic.

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Discovery of the Opiate Receptor; Playing with Materialistic Fire.


Molecules of Emotion cover

I recommend this book to all of my followers and patients who want to understand why the hands-on work I do is effective. Your body literally IS your mind and emotions and the work Dr. Pert did proves it. All of the experiments are in the book so objection on your part is futile. Holistic medicine, counseling, energy medicine, martial arts, yoga, et. al. are an effective medicine and much cheaper than the bazillion dollar allopathic industry twisting your arm to buy health insurance.

I’m re-reading these chapters that I visited two years ago before the opioid epidemic. I’m finding it ironic that Dr. Pert is actually the one who found the opiate receptor in the brain at NIH working under Dr. Snyder but is also key to illuminating the science behind mind-body medicine in the seventies. She found it on October 25, 1972. Reductionist science and holism make strange bedfellows.

Chapter 2 is called “Romance of the Opiate Receptor” with the title “Destiny”. There is no way she could have known that 20 years after this book was written, corporate, capitalist, profit-driven so-called healthcare would drive the opiate receptors in the human brain into addiction and unethical oblivion. It is now the headline on the national news. All of this is occurring because allopathic medicine refuses to give any attention or credence to holistic medicine which is fabulously pain-relieving and has at its fingertips a pantheon of effective, whole herbs like cannabis which has been demonized and ruined families for 100 years. There is not as much money to be made when people are healthy and happy. By the end of the book, she figures this out.

The first thing she relays is being on her back in the hospital after falling off of a horse and being put on Talwin, a morphine derivative and loving the euphoric state it put her in. I sure didn’t after my ectopic pregnancy surgery in 1996 that saved my life. I was on a morphine pump and all it did was cut the pain a bit, but it was my birthday, after all, the day I had to get out of the hospital bed and walk. Three days later after I’d gotten home the pain was almost gone. Still, I did not have a great opioid trip. Drugs have never affected me in a beneficial way as an HSP (highly sensitive person).  Laughter, hugs, friends, and sex affect my receptors.

Candace Pert and Sol SnyderDr. Pert worked happily in a lab at John Hopkins University under the exciting tutelage of Solomon H. Snyder who was on the leading edge of experimentation in neuropharmacology and still works there. The picture is of Candace and Sol working together. The philosophy in the lab had everything to do with instinct;

“Do not accept conventional wisdom, do not accept the idea that something can’t be accomplished because the scientific literature says it can’t. Trust your instincts. Allow yourself a wide latitude in your speculations. Don’t depend on the literature-it could be right or it could be completely wrong. Spread all your hunches out before you, and go with the ones that you think are most probable. Select the one that you can test easily and quickly. Don’t assume it has to be overly complicated to be of value since often the simplest experiment yields the most unequivocal result. Just do the experiment! And if you can keep it to a one-day experiment, so much the better.”

Solomon H Snyder, Dr. Pert’s boss, was a lead neuroscience researcher at NIH back in the ’70s and is likely the kingpin of opiate receptor research that helped the big pharma get very rich and patients very addicted to opiates in America. I’m not saying he is solely responsible but he is a psychiatrist and worked for a couple of pharmaceutical companies. I’m sure he saw nothing wrong with using opiates to as a painkiller.

In Chapter 3, she outlines that in the science journal Nature, the Scottish team triumphantly published their chemical analysis of the brain’s own morphine, which consisted of a pair of peptides, each five amino acids in length. Enkephalin’s chemical structure was summed up by the following formula; Tyr-Gly-Gly-Phe-Met and Tyr-Gly-Gly-Phe-Leu. With this brief shorthand, a peptide chemist had all the information needed to whip up a batch of enkephalin from amino acid starting materials in just a few days.

What Dr. Pert did not know, and what the scientists still do not know is that our DNA/RNA, the amino acid peptides are multidimensional and directly affected by music, nature, and every wave-form in the universe. The amino acids directly correspond to the Maya’s Tzolkin Harmonic that creates the order for everything in the known universe. Materialism has no clue about order and energy. They believe everything in nature is random. It’s not.  It’s all based on synchronicity and nothing is random so the scientific materialists were playing with fire and now, in 2019, they are doing it with A.I. (Artificial Intelligence).  We see the effect on the earth and humans. It’s detrimental.

To be continued…

 

 

 

 

 

 

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THE BODY’S NATURAL OPIATE


Molecules of Emotion cover

Continuing on in “Molecules of Emotion”, The Science Behind Mind-Body (same thing) Medicine; Dr. Pert says, “…endorphins, the body’s own natural morphine…which your body makes too.”

There are a thousand studies on this and physicians all know it’s true. Bodyworkers are at the top of the heap when it comes to stimulating natural opioids in the body. Massage therapists, deep tissue workers, manual therapists, and all other types of soft tissue workers know that this is the case. Some massage therapists do a good job, others really hurt you as they have very poor technique, use too much oil and then dig in with the thumb tips, elbows, and fingertips. Be sure to interview the practitioner before you set up an appointment. I recommend deep tissue manual therapy, a physical therapist or a sports therapist with 2-4 years of training.

Bodyworkers are supposed to relieve pain, not cause it. That is intuitive. It’s counterintuitive to cause pain which is something to consider as you use the white coats. The fact is, the number of Americans seeing massage therapists has declined because the schools are teaching poor technique and not requiring students to do at least two years. But I digress from the book.

Dr. Pert discovered the opiate receptors in the brain and thought she and her team might be on the way to win the Nobel prize.

“The discovery of the opiate receptor touched off a mad scramble among scientific researchers to find the natural substance in the body that used the receptor-the key that would fit the lock. We knew that the brain receptor didn’t exist to serve as a binding mechanism for external plant extracts, such as morphine and opium. No, the only reason that made any sense for an opiate receptor to be in the brain in the first place was if the body itself produced some kind of substance. an organic chemical that fit the tiny keyhole itself-a natural opiate.“

The brains own morphine is an endogenous ligand. A ligand is a protein that attaches (binds) to another protein called a receptor; receptor proteins have specific sites into which the ligands fit like keys into locks. Endogenous ligands are those that are produced in the body, not those introduced into the body, such as certain drugs. It creates the same effects that exogenous (outside) opiates such as morphine do. They called this substance enkephalin. MT’s know all about enkephalin’s as well in terms of what our treatments can do.

It is worthwhile to note that as of this edit, 7/25/19, A S.F. team believe that the endogenous and exogenous opiates DO NOT have the same effect on the body. The ones they created in the lab work quicker and are stronger and cause addiction as we know too well. I’m still trying to find out if they knew this from the beginning and are creating a ruse, or if they seriously were ignorant that stimulating the natural endogenous opioid was a better route to take.

This part of the book ends with her on a media whirlwind for her discovery with her team and getting much positive attention. Then the competition heats up and the power-brokers come into play.

Science is no different than politics. I’m reading about ego, destructive gossip, gender discrepancy, and big money. Human nature is pretty easy to predict.

To be continued…

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Why Do People Hate Smart Women? | Psychology Today


Expansion-Paige Bradley
The sculptor is Paige Bradley

 

This is another great article on this topic only this time the comments are super revealing. Enquiring minds need to know… lol. Just scroll quickly to the top to see the full article.

Psychology Today-Why Do People Hate Smart Women

This is a comment by S.C. on this great article;

“Being an incomplete female, the male spends his life attempting to complete himself, to become female. He attempts to do this by constantly seeking out, fraternizing with and trying to live through and fuse with the female, and by claiming as his own all female characteristics — emotional strength and independence, forcefulness, dynamism, decisiveness, coolness, objectivity, assertiveness, courage, integrity, vitality, intensity, depth of character, grooviness, etc — and projecting onto women all male traits — vanity, frivolity, triviality, weakness, etc.

It should be said, though, that the male has one glaring area of superiority over the female — public relations. (He has done a brilliant job of convincing millions of women that men are
women and women are men). The male claim that females find fulfillment through motherhood and sexuality reflects what males think they’d find fulfilling if they were female.”

Comment by anon;

“It is true that a lot of people hate intelligent women, but they don’t like to admit to it. Watch how frequently intelligent women have their appearance insulted. Those people are expressing their jealousy at her intelligence, whilst at the same time trying to persuade her that her intelligence has no value, because most people only care about a woman’s looks. Comparing mothers and fathers you’ll find that when a father goes to work he’s “providing for his family”, but when a mother goes to work she’s “abandoning her children”“.

Here is a comment by Cathy. This one is really good and I’ve had the same thing happen in physicians offces I’ve worked in where I solved a patient’s body dilemma.

“I’ve experienced rabid reactions from men numerous times in relation to points 3 and 6. (in the article). Both of those points are related. Just conversing in terms of normal average level of intelligence in a spirit of shared understanding in a social situation has resulted in men lashing out immediately with paranoid and derogatory accusations that what I am really doing is trying to make out that I “know something”. Apparently, as an adult woman I am not allowed to “know something”. I am talking about just normal conversations referring to every day things. If I try to point that out to defend myself all they do is continue to accuse me of trying to make out I “know something” by referring to everyday things, as if that made me a rotten bitch.

These men would never explain to me what their problem was, and I was always unprepared for this crap because it is so irrational, but it relates to the idea that many men don’t think their theory of mind relates to women, so in their mind we would never be ‘able’ to have a normal conversation for real, so therefore it must be some kind of trick that we are playing on them.

I wondered if it might just be men of low socio-economic status that had this faulty thinking. Then at one point I dated a CEO and founder of a software company. He prided himself on an image of himself as a man of extra high intelligence, so I thought he would know better. Unfortunately not. On a day out were in a shop that sold games that tested intelligence. He wanted to go in but I have no liking for those kind of games so I went into another shop and he was in there on his own and he and another guy spent 20 minutes trying to figure out how to extract this piece of metal out of a glass bottle. Apparently it’s rigged so you have to be pretty smart to figure out how to get it out.

By the time I walked in to the shop he and the guy had given up. They handed me the bottle, and after looking at it for about 30 seconds I figured it out and extracted the piece of metal. My CEO boyfriend says to me “If we (he and the other guy) couldn’t figure it out how could you do it” – with the emphasis on the word ‘you’. He was really shocked and kept going on and on how it would have had to be a fluke that I got the metal bit out and that I couldn’t have really solved it for real. It was really insulting, yet he seemingly had no recognition that he was being insulting and derogatory to me. I politely explained to him that to get the thing out I actually had to work out the only way it could come out, I didn’t just randomly jigger with the thing and fluke it – but he vehemently objected to the idea that I could have been able to do any such thing, and when I asked him why he thought that he said that he didn’t believe that I could be smart enough to do even one single thing that he and another guy couldn’t do. When I asked him to explain why he would think that, he couldn’t explain. That made two things he couldn’t figure out in 20 minutes for someone who proclaimed himself to be so incredibly intelligent. It’s obviously a delusional theory of mind, and it’s a very common experience that I have had with men and it’s disgusting. It’s made me stay away from relationships, and social situations altogether where I will come in contact with men.”

I’ll stop there. All I can say is I can relate. Also note, there are very intelligent women out there who play dumb because it makes a man feel more secure. It manipulates his ego. That’s one way to play it. I don’t waste my time with that.

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Dusty


man on a dusty road

My lover came over to visit with me last night. We’re mostly friends so we just talked. That’s how it is with lovers; free flow.

I noticed how cute he looked but his sweat pants had quite a few holes in them. I said, “What’s this about?”

He said, “I’m dusty but my soul is clean.”

This literally happened last night and he literally said this. After he left I went to a jazz gig downtown and my friend sang a tune brilliantly but first, she showed me a rip in her shirt at the hem. I take all of this to mean a broken heart is an open heart. A broken soul is a clean soul. I’m not sure it matters but they were both African American and very dear people to my heart. It all spills over.

 

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if you sit still long enough…


You can feel your own magnetism first in your brain. Sit with your eyes closed. Everyone has felt what magnetism feels like by putting your hand on one. Your whole body is full of electromagnetic energy. It feels heavy. It’s not actual weight, it’s magnetic energy. It’s YOUR BLOOD which is YOUR QI. Now you’re in reality.

NOW…accept that you are empty space moving extremely fast! Your QI is moving so fast that it feels like you’re still.  Our cells are 99% empty space. The heaviness you feel is invisible magnetism which comes from YOUR MIND and HEART which spins through your rhythmic breathing.  Become one with this. When I tune into the heaviness in my brain or the blood in my brain I feel a rotation to the right and my body, as I’m sitting, literally spins to the right. It’s my Reiki energy that I run at all times. I’m a lightworker, here to help, not be too attached and I know where I will be returning when I leave here.

Accept that what makes things dense and visible is the fact that your QI is spinning so fast that it explicates into a manifested form. It just “appears” the way it does because the QI is spinning 60,000 miles per second folks. It’s past time to get on board with this. Work on it so that you can transcend the matrix and get in the reality of the Holographic Universe. There is a reality all right and it’s energy, time, intention, the magnetism of the mind and heart and your habitual thought. It’s not money and stuff. Let it go into Love.

Leminscate_heart

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Encoding the Future-Steering the Timeship — 13:20 FREQUENCY SHIFT


1.31.13.17: White Lunar Wind, Kin 2 Every moment of choice involves multiple optional pathways into the future. This Galactic New Year we are having an event: Encoding the Future and Steering the Timeship. This years Day out of Time and Galactic New Year are coded by Mars (Cosmic Skywalker) and Maldek (Magnetic Wizard). The main […]

via Encoding the Future-Steering the Timeship — 13:20 FREQUENCY SHIFT