My book "Healer"
A tumbling grain of sand in life’s waters…
Who is gritty and sticks to that grain and who doesn’t?
The grain of sand slowly become a quartz crystal…or the destiny of becoming a mirror, or some precious stone.
Who is gritty, sticks, and helps me expand and who doesn’t? This is the difference between personal love and the love of all who cross your path.
May 26, 2012-Lisa K. Townsend
It’s fairly natural and normal for people to put their own self-interests first. After all, if you don’t advocate for yourself, people will put words in your mouth, act as an authority over you and attempt to control you. None of that is good. That said, I tend to be the opposite and put others interests before my own if they are next to me. That’s why I like to be alone most of the time so I can feel myself and not just them. Tat begs the question, ” Why can’t I feelmysel anthe atthe sae time?” I can if I know and trust them.
Being an empath, I’m like a sponge or a cell phone tower picking up the vibes of others and I’m very sensitive to them. I am getting better at shutting it off. But in our offloading, chaotic culture, it’s like a trash heap of vibes and others aren’t even aware they’re doing it so I have my personal defense up.
However, in personal relationships, putting your self-interests ahead of others is selfish and it may be hard for them to get to know you. That may be the way you want it. It’s the way most of us had to function growing up with parents that had expectations of us or were abusive and controlling. I find human beings to be more difficult to deal with than animals or nature to be sure. We’ve learned to survive by being fake or not saying anything at all. I’ve had the problem in partnerships and friendships of caring more about and tuning into the other person more than they do to me. It may be true that I don’t readily express my feelings to others until I feel I can really trust them, which usually doesn’t happen. I’ve learned not to trust most humans. I think millions of people would agree with me. So in my case, I’m more in protective, observation mode than I am interested in myself more than them. In fact, when I’m with someone, I tend to be more interested in them. I am definitely a giver type person and only want to receive from a select few.
What I’m describing here is a sharing element where both parties feel free and safe to express their mood, what’s going on, what they’re working on, how they feel and what they need, knowing that the other one will listen. I will express that if the other person asks but generally I won’t otherwise.
It’s safe to say it’s easy to lose respect for someone that doesn’t like or respect how you process your feelings or for men who don’t process their feelings at all. It always comes out in the body silently; usually in an eating disorder or some other illness. The person doesn’t have to say a word and many times won’t because they’re being harassed for who they are naturally by some around them. Its already been proven that the feelings and thoughts go directly into the cells of the body if a person can’t discuss it or say it for fear of more offloading from others. There’s nowhere else for it to go. Here is my article on it with page numbers that will refer you to the specific lab tests done at the NIH proving it!
Emotion carrying peptides in our bodies cells
EVERY HUMAN BEING HAS FEELINGS WHETHER THEY’RE AWARE OF THEM OR NOT. NO ONE IS 100% RATIONAL OR LEFT BRAINED ONLY. It’s a neurological impossibility. Therefore it’s a big human need for us to express our feelings, not just our thoughts or opinions all the time. That leads to a dead end; usually, a hypocritical one where you can say anything that’s expedient to sell something and then turn around in your private life and be exceedingly messed up. It’s almost expected in American culture to have a messed up private life.
Remember that name-calling by others is just your refusal to adjust for their benefit. Plus, they feel guilty about being who they are and are projecting it onto you. I personally have no shame or guilt. I know if I do something wrong (not on purpose but it’s still a mistake), I fix it either in myself or with the other person. I’ve been called;
You see it’s a mixed bag there but what is interesting are the people closest to me who know me best revile me and are hateful. That’s been going on my whole life. Halfway through my life now, I’ve realized there is no amount of love or patience that can heal a sick soul. I’m done. Also, note that the ones who say the worst things to you die early are already dead or ill. It’s their own self-loathing that makes them lash out and treat you like shit. They treat themselves like shit and it’s your duty to stay away from them and love yourself and keep improving, even if they are family members or especially because they are family members. That is what my book “Healer” is about.
It happens all the time and depending on the circumstances and how much you need to depend on the circumstances will decide whether you adjust or not. We are a social creature but our socializing is with all life, not just with humans. Many people are better friends with their pet than another human being. I totally get that. I feel that way about trees. Not squirrels though. They’re jerks. Robins are cool.
Humans are the most challenging life form with which to socialize because most are still functioning in the primate brain. Monkeys have been known to start fights on purpose, just because they feel like it, kill each other and then eat their own kind; cannibalism. That DNA is in all of us unless you are Rh negative blood type. It’s the Rhesus monkey factor. I believe it’s contributed to a host of anti-social behavioral problems in humans but it’s obvious it’s there. Rh negative folks are behaviorally very different than Rh positive.
I recommend that everyone find a way to express and develop your vision and creative self. You’ll need to get to work on it. Think positively about what you WANT to happen and don’t worry about what COULD happen. Those wishes and feelings are very powerful when applied to yourself. It’s worked gangbusters for me and really IS the intuition. Go for it! Do it silently unless you have a friend who really loves and takes care of themselves. Then they won’t attack you as your life and body improve. If you have just one person who says, “Awesome”, you’re fortunate.
I want to try something new. There are so many of us in this community and so much good work that I can relate to. I’d like to start sharing an affinity piece I read, add my feeling to it, and others can do the same.
This way, we don’t sit in isolation but realize our similarities once in a while. That said, it never negates the original work or that it can stand on its own.
I strongly feel this piece by Anotherkindofgrass;
Everything Passes
This post reminds me of;
The law of conservation of energy in physics and chemistry (which is actually a habit, not a law) which states that the total energy of an isolated system remains constant; it is said to be conserved over time. This law means that energy can neither be created nor destroyed; rather, it can only be transformed or transferred from one form to another.
The combination of observation and intuition tell us that timelessness is real on some level.
When I can feel my breath and the warmth of my flesh,
When my memories of joy and pleasure enmesh.
When my anger calms and I hold my tongue,
I know it’s a higher mind bar none.
When lusty and fun, no thought for the other,
Takes over my mind I’m reigned in like a mother.
I don’t want ONE brownie, I want the whole pan,
No. That’s not loving yourself, damn!
If I had my dumb way, I’d do myself in,
Self-loathing, sabotage, abuse are great kin.
But Spirit informs me, breaks my cold heart,
I have no chance of bullshit to impart.
I’m shown who I am in the mirror each day,
Just one person, quite different who can do as she may.
The only purpose of life is to show love and forgiveness,
If you’re not doing that then there is no goodness.
MINDSET-Human consciousness is always aligning but evolution has shown that there are leaps where suddenly there is a paradigm shift. We are in a leap zone right now. Those on the planet who want to be here and want to leap and see what the leap can bring will do it. Those that are on the planet and have decided they don’t really want to be here or they’re making it hell here for themselves and others will not leap. Both are choices but the leap WILL happen. No one can stop it this time. The indigo children coming onto the planet and being activists are an example of the leap.
Some people are here to teach our fellow beings to communicate with one another in a way that helps us realign our relationships to be healthier. Many people are doing it and I’m doing it with regard to the Spirit-Body-Mind.
I’m teaching people to take care of themselves by being a good example. We need to restore the clarity of communication that existed long ago. We have a common thread running through all things in the universe, one in Spirit and Mind, yet appear separate as a body and seem to be different because of our upbringing. But they are not deep differences.
Once we become aware of this irony it will lead to an interdependency, not independence or dependence (dysfunction) based upon trust and faith in humankind that allows us to see the spiritual consciousness within all. I have to admit I vacillate between cynicism and realism and don’t always know which one is accurate.
Gender balance is key to spiritual interdependency. God the Father is equal with God the Mother but it isn’t taught in any earth religions. In fact, God is neither male nor female but these are at different dimensional levels. Biologists know that men and women are actually both male and female so the patriarchal depiction of God is not accurate at all. In fact, women are the ones who create human beings in our bodies. That gives us quite a leg up on the planet and worthy of respect even though in the wider universe we’re equal with males. It’s not about control but cooperation between the genders.
Men are called to surpass their fathers at all levels and women are called to surpass their mothers at all levels. A good parent will want this for their child. If your parent doesn’t want that for you, it’s your duty as a child of the earth to know that the Universe has your back to rampage it forward, have faith, and get busy!
According to this picture, being physically alive is not a prerequisite to feeling bonded. Think about that. This is a common human experience all over the world; feeling the presence of and emotional bond to an ancestor who has died. Working with clients, I believe the emotional-spiritual bond humans feel to one another, family or not, are much stronger than the physical bond and certainly don’t include possession.
Shared values, personal affinity or sameness, sexual affinity, and complementary differences help us bond. If you’re reproducing at a young age, similar family upbringing and just basic lust, bond you very strongly to a person causing you to feel possessive. Just because you feel possessive doesn’t mean you actually can possess another human being. Human possession is actually slavery. People do buy one another mostly for sex and for employment. The latter is illegal and the former is not.
A physical lust bond is actually very essential in young couples for successful reproduction. The more sex you want to have and do have the more likely it is you’ll conceive. That said, once a woman has a child, her lust or desire for her husband markedly decreases and her emotional bond is super strong to her child just due to evolutionary mother love in the human brain. It’s actually the strongest type of real love on the planet as I think we all know. Mothers love their children with superhuman might. Fathers do too but it’s different since they didn’t create the baby in their body. I adore my son. I feel more bonded to my son than anyone on the planet and when he’s around it’s as though a part of me is in the house. That can actually be a pain in the butt because we’re very similar. My brain and thus my behavior goes into mama role. It’s very bizarre to observe in myself and feels very natural but automatic. It’s not a behavior I choose at all!
That said, amazingly, in no way do I feel I possess him nor have I EVER felt that I possess my son! His father and I raised him to possess himself and he does, even though he’s going through judging himself in a perfectionist manner at the age of twenty.
I think that possession is a misnomer because of our materialist based, capitalist system of ownership and human slavery. It’s not a minor issue because it’s the basis of legal marriage and taking someone else’s name. Men and women tend to behave as though they can control one another in a relationship which is completely unrealistic and offensive. This is where the resistance to possession comes from. It’s also a huge political issue that affects the status of everyone, including men that tend to feel controlled by women.
Let’s move to create bonding that includes freedom of movement, freedom to be yourself, freedom to express how you feel and freedom to express yourself sexually in different ways and stop talking about possessing or controlling anyone, even in a sexual relationship. The way I see it, bonding in love is a stronger force than possession or control anyway. You won’t feel the need to possess or control someone if the emotional bond is there. You also won’t feel the need to prescribe “monogamy” to it because if you are bonded and love someone you’ll want to be with them. And if you don’t, there isn’t enough sex with novel people in the world to satisfy your longing. Don’t ki
d yourself about that!
If you have bonded, your quality of life skyrockets! I’m going to have that which means I need a mate with whom I can feel emotionally bonded and passionate. Once there is a strong emotional bond, that can morph and change into spiritual affinity and you won’t even need to use the word loyalty because you’ll naturally be on the same page in terms of your values even as your body and emotions change. It’s all good.
Busy dream night,
Most of it gossamer ethereal as usual.
Then, like a prodigious mammal in the Cimmerian pitch-black
Under my sheets, literally, physically, corporeally
While I was still in my dream state!…
I felt a man curled up next to me…
Substantially, mundanely, sensibly…
But he was not literally THERE.
There was no actual man in bed with me.
I didn’t wake up.
I just remembered it explicitly when I woke up
As quite an odd abeyance.
I think I know who it was
but I don’t know why he was there.
It wasn’t creepy, just surprising.
