Woman’s Intuition


I don’t know if living with a male ages a woman or not living with a male ages a woman.  It depends right?  I’m not suggesting that men don’t have intuition.  My empirical observation is that women are just more experienced with intuition and more accepting of it than men are.  It’s more of a fact of nature to me than anything.  Maybe we’ve evolved the trait over time. Nevertheless, my radar was on last night.

I had a date last night for the first time in a year; with a man.  The synchronicity about it was, the same day, I had been contacted by the fellow I had last dated ten months ago and had been fairly traumatized by actually. That’s a long story and I don’t think that there is ever one person responsible for the trouble in a relationship, but I have more scruples than he does; for sure. His call was trying to create a pretext for seeing me again by pretending he cared about my book when I didn’t even ask him for help (he’s an editor). The short of it is, I called him out on the emotional mess he left of “he and I” and told him “bon voyage” even though he doesn’t really have the guts to move out west by himself as he said he would back in October, which he used as an earlier excuse not to see me anymore. Or maybe, since today is his birthday, he thought I would be schmuck enough to make him a birthday pie as I did last year.  Not a chance in hell buddy.

I’m not sure if my scruples are a problem or not when I have a lover. I feel like it makes me “unbedable” in a way because I value love. I’m not a prude by any stretch of the imagination.  I just like love and bonding, not hookups and this last fellow was the one responsible for taking it too fast. He was like a wild monkey. That would be hot if he also cared about me but because he didn’t, he pissed me off. I’m an intelligent human being with a heart and mind not a chimp in the jungle. Sex alone does nothing for me.  I digress. He’s done for.

Back to my current date…Maybe I’m somewhat old-fashioned, but telling the truth would be good for starters. His profile said that he was 50 years old. Since we were in a Chinese restaurant looking at the placemat with Chinese animals per year of birth, I asked him what year he was born. The answer, “1961”.  The dude was 56. I need to date a younger man, like 45-54 because of my attitude and look.  Two doctors in the last two months said they thought I was forty so I’m not in denial like some women, and I take care of myself and don’t smoke or drink too much. Both of those ages a person.

He kept projecting all of these character defects onto me on our first date.  It was truly repulsive. Harvey Weinstein’s face kept flashing in front of me.  I told him the Kung Pao Shrimp was very salty to my taste but the flavor was good. When I didn’t tell the waiter that but said it was fine because I don’t care if the waiter knows or not, he chided me, “You need to tell the truth!” Really dude?  Who was your last woman?  A criminal?

I don’t eat much salt and Chinese restaurants are notorious for salt so it’s not like the restaurant did anything out of character. I’m not going to bother with it. But the first thing out of his mouth was remembering how proud I was of my work when he offloaded regarding his body to me in a previous phone call. Boy did that piss him off. Apparently, it pissed me off that he decided to go get a spa massage after I spent a half hour listening to and talking to him about his back and how my manual therapy work could help him. He wasted my time. The conversation ended with him saying, “I’ll just go see a massage therapist.” I’d forgotten about it until last night, so apparently, the purpose of the date was for him to throw his resentment and offload to my face.  Then he very proudly asked the waiter to split the bill. It was abusive.

So here we are in 2017, where a kindly, very intelligent very skilled, cute single woman is being herself, namely me, and a guy who has been divorced by the mother of his three children who has obviously failed miserably in some arena is going to take it out on his dates instead of fixing his mess. I posted this before, but there is something emotionally wrong with guys. I think he’s going to die old and alone because of his ego. He can think he’s a catch, and he said as much, but by his behavior, is anything BUT a catch. Talk is cheap guys. Deeds over words. We hardly spent any time together and he was a major jerk.

Mind you, his online profile was sparkling. My intuition told me to stand him up just from the tone of his texts. I didn’t think he would show up. So, I let him show up first, he texted me he wanted me to come, so I went. I should have listened to my intuition.  He was a class A jerk, but cute.  I don’t care about cute when the heart is cold. A cold heart is a misogynist and I suggest you get your heart healed and fix your behavior before you date a woman who is not a hookup. Oh, and he would have rather we met in a bar but didn’t say that beforehand.  Spare me.

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Maybe Humans Crave Certain Feelings, not Drugs Themselves


That’s a pretty interesting suggestion.  It’s probably not a new one but I sure don’t hear anyone talking about that.  It would mean that you crave the way a drug makes you feel.

You may say, “Well yeah!” Pardon me if my realization sounds naive or conservative.  I’m not.  I’m an extremely liberal woman but I was born sober, so obviously I’m liberal intellectually, in speaking, and in friendships, not in my hobbies.  I have never craved drugs and when I do try them they don’t affect me.  Go figure.  I’ve used alcohol, been buzzed many times and only drunk once. It does nothing for my feelings at all nor does it make my body change much, good or bad. I’ve used pot maybe five times and it doesn’t affect me. I’ve used different kinds of tobacco and I like the smell of it because it reminds me of jazz, but that’s it. I cannot relate to craving a drug to make my feelings change. That’s as odd to me as thinking that changing my clothes will change my personality.  It’s extremely irrational and makes no sense to me.

I AM exceedingly familiar with my feelings changing though, a lot!!  My feelings have always swung this way and that naturally ever since I’ve been a child.  I am in touch with a range of feelings that as a professionally trained actor, I’m able to evoke or bring to the surface quite easily.  So, it must just be my personality; the way my brain works. It does run in my family, being theatrical, but we are also counselors, therapists, and mediums.  I’m also a musician.  I come from an emotionally expressive family so that was seeded in my subconscious in utero.

What all of this is bringing to light is the fact that if you have an expressive art you can imbibe in, maybe those feelings you’re craving will start flowing and your drug craving may go down.  We all need to let our feelings out.  And what about sex?  I know women tend to be more emotional during sex than men if men are at all, but more sex would be good for women then. Most women are as comfortable with sexual feelings as they are with taking a shower or feeling ill.  It’s just part of having a body.  I know this is diametrically opposed to men.

Men, I don’t know how you deal with your feelings other than drinking.  My 19-year-old son tells me that men do get emotionally attached in relationships even though males don’t get emotional during sex itself.  I know that the emotion of sexual tension that occurs when you’re attracted to a female is very uncomfortable for most men and FEAR is your big emotion; maybe even anger at not being able to control the woman’s sexual feelings? That was some inside information I received yesterday that was fascinating.  So, let yourself “be” in a relationship, talking, feeling bonded to other males and females as friends are very therapeutic for guys.  Also, just letting yourself feel the sexual tension with a woman you like.  It doesn’t mean you have to take any major action on it immediately…I guess.

As a female, I don’t really emotionally need friendships as much as I need sex.  I don’t think many women admit that but that’s definitely the case for me.  Or maybe I’m just far more into feeling my body in its natural state than others are. So it’s more important for me to have a partner than many friendships…eventually.

I’ll follow this blog up with my intuition and findings on sexual tension between men and women and maybe even women and women and men and men.  That should be compelling and timely. The issue seems to be unraveling our society on all levels. It’s about time right? This male fear and issue of emotional control is called patriarchy; then it manifests in forced sex. Nada. But are women really completely emotionally innocent in all of this? I really don’t know, seriously asking.

Is it possible that the psychology of sexual predation and sexual harassment is a form of sexual tension that is physically out of alignment because of pent-up feelings? Stay tuned.

 

 

The Erroneous Line Drawn Between Science and Spirituality


Remember this Philosophy Tree I posted a few posts ago? I love this thing. So let’s go back to the axiom at the top upon which all institutions of higher learning, all over the world, base their system of learning and degree-granting powers; Philosophy.

 

Image result for image of the branches of philosophy tree

All subjects are philosophical. One of the great tenets of philosophy, established by the Greeks, is debate and discussion. It’s pretty anti-social to say, “I’m right, it’s been proven, no more discussion. Go sit down and be quiet.” As objective as a physical scientist attempts to be with their scientific method, coming under the heading “Philosophy of Science”, they are subjective humans and can never be fully free from bias. It’s proven by their emotional outburst of anger if someone wants to have a discussion with them after they make absolute statements and need everyone to agree with them because the philosophy of science is “the truth”. “Playing well with others” learned in kindergarten is a good character attribute to have. I’m not saying I’m an expert at it being a high IQ woman, but I always start out being civil and it devolves from there.

Gender bias is rampant in any STEM (Science, technology, engineering, and math) discussion where a woman needs to have a say. It’s amazingly irrational, sort of proving my point above. I think it’s a good idea to qualify your work and be tolerant of dissent or a different perspective, otherwise, no matter how right you are, you lack integrity because you don’t care how you emotionally affect others.

So, look at that empty white space under “Philosophy of Religion” which comes from Ontology and Metaphysics”?  Go over to the left and the Philosophy of Science branch is loaded.  That is interesting, isn’t it?  Hardcore Newtonian Materialists would say, “That’s because we have hard evidence.” Yes, in your pants, which we women are happy for! but not when we have to earn money in the public workplace and you STILL have hard evidence. I would say it’s because we live in a patriarchal society controlled by money and power in the hands of men in academic institutions who routinely denigrate the scientific method of females in psychology and religion which is spirituality.  They are sciences too!

Now, look at “Philosophy of Mind”.  It sort of waves the right hand over to “Philosophy of Psychology” saying, “Well, there’s this!” with a glass of wine in the left hand having a party with “Philosophy of Religion”.  That’s sort of where we find ourselves in the year 2017.

We don’t have any boxes under Philosophy of Mind and Philosophy of Religion because we don’t have any money to do the experiments. There has been plenty of documentation and proof verifying that the study of Mind, Religion (Theology), Psychology and Parapsychology are worthwhile endeavors, but you can’t see the material manifestation of feelings, thoughts, dreams, and intuitions as easily as you can see a ball rolling down a hill for a physics experiment.  Well, at the very least, our field is much more complicated.  What can possibly be more complicated than studying how Mind manifests as feelings and physical being?

What is really changing now is proof from the quantum physicists that thoughts, feelings, and intuitions DO manifest in the body, literally, and cause illness or wellness, depending on how you align them. Everyone intuitively knows this. We don’t feel we need a double-blind study particularly, just some common sense.

There is Something Emotionally “Off” with Guys


There are too many on the roster for me to ignore this.  I read a lot too, so it’s not as though I’m ignorant. Well, seriously…I know men have feelings.  That’s very obvious and I’m good with that, unlike many women.  That’s just as obvious as the fact that women have feelings.  And I am sensitive to men’s feelings, as different than women’s and have a ton of experience with men expressing their feelings with me.  I’m safe to do that with.  That’s sort of the problem…maybe.

The Jekyll and Hyde thing, the fear of getting too close, or relying on a woman as your friend, or letting her help you with something she is strong in and you have no idea about; she does the same with you.  Why can’t men rely on women the same way? Why is that so emotionally vulnerable for you but it’s not for us?  Maybe you didn’t have a good sister?  That’s how you pattern it in your brain.

As a woman, who has talked to a lot of women, if we get a red flag about a dude, we break it off, let it go, and have a fairly practical attitude about the lack of emotional affinity so we don’t usually cling, push away, cling, push away, kick and punch.  That induces no sense of emotional security in a woman at all. And I’ve seen it way too much with men.  I don’t see this behavior in women maybe because there’s no way a guy would tolerate that from a woman.  I see and hear her making her mind up.  She has a subjective sense of “the feel” of the guy and their emotions and the sexual affinity so her radar is on baby!  If all that isn’t flowing, we’re not interested and don’t need to analyze it.  Our body told us and that counts the most.

Now the objective part.  Males tend to value or be, more objective to their everlasting detriment.  You’re missing half of the picture.  You thought you drank the whole glass, the other half is in there.  You thought you took a full breath, you didn’t exhale. I’ll stop. The objective picture, which women can fully, competently, always, always, see, is just dumb to us.  It’s never just that way.  You can’t gain any accurate information in life or in relationships by only being objective any more than you can know what sex feels like by just standing outside of it and watching it.

Subjective means you are the subject, you’re in it, you’re living it, your senses, feelers, intuition, BODY (such a big truth for women) are in the situation and we’re talking UPLOAD of information into the computer.  It computes, along with the easy, objective stuff.  We know what’s going on when we’re next to our man but we will never, ever, understand why guys are so irrational and comatose when you’re next to a woman, or her breasts, that you love or care for. Just why?

The rational way to analyze and proceed in a relationship is to dip your toe in the water, smell each other, listen to each other’s voices, socialize, get your instincts going, eat together…and this only takes maybe a couple weeks or the total of five dates to have enough data to make the decision.  Do I want to have sex with this guy and allow some emotional bonding or not?  Whether women admit it or not, our brains are programmed to emotionally bond otherwise, I don’t think we can orgasm.  It’s kind of obvious.

It is forever lost on me why men can’t be more rational about their feelings.  Women have evolved to be objective and subjective. We tend to be balanced for the sake of our children. There are plenty of brilliant women that can do the math, science, tech, blah, blah, blah, blah, like it’s such a big deal.  No…it’s not.  It’s pretty easy for us.  Dealing with you guys and not having to have our defenses up when you freak out over how you feel is what is not easy for us. Living with you is not easy for us.  I don’t think I can do it anymore.

Please try to be more subjective, more empathic, more understanding of other people and women who are different than you.  We are not men nor do we want to be.  We can balance being objective with being subjective and we ask the same of you.

Intuition and Sexual Attraction


I just read this really great article called “Survival of the Prettiest”

Survival of the Prettiest

The success of our civilization and the health of our children is, to a great degree, dependent on intelligent, thoughtful, healthy women who listen to their bodies and to their intuition when deciding to mate.  This waste of time, women competing with each other regarding beauty, believing that the men know how to pick or do pick, is indolent. A woman who sits passively back and waits for a man to approve of her is not intelligent enough to be a mother. For all the blame we put on men, who from an evolutionary perspective are waiting for a woman to pick them, it really rests on women to set the tone and go forward with the holistic scientific method that includes natural biology and intuition. If you watch any streaming nature show on TV, it proves that the men are the one who dances, are colorful and work hard to be picked by a female for mating. It’s just a natural fact.

This article by David Dobbs of the New York Times starts out…

 “Darwin published another troublesome treatise — “The Descent of Man, and Selection in Relationship to Sex.” This expanded on an idea he mentioned only briefly in “Origin.” Sometimes, he proposed, in organisms that reproduce by having sex, a different kind of selection occurs: Animals choose mates that are not the fittest candidates available, but the most attractive or alluring. Sometimes, in other words, aesthetics rule.”

Please read the next few paragraphs of the article.  Then he says this,

“To Darwin’s dismay, many biologists rejected this theory. For one thing, Darwin’s elevation of sexual selection threatened the idea of natural selection as the one true and almighty force shaping a life — a creative force powerful and concentrated enough to displace that of God. And some felt Darwin’s sexual selection gave too much power to all those females exerting choices based on beauty. As the zoologist St. George Jackson Mivart complained in an influential early review of “Descent,” “the instability of vicious feminine caprice was too soft and slippery a force to drive something as important as evolution.”

Say what??!!!  I about fell off the couch when I read that.  Most women are not that superficial. Maybe Mr. Mivart wasn’t being picked by an intelligent woman and was frustrated! The ones that aren’t very bright and don’t think about relationship have unstable caprice and go for the car and money…or booty.  That’s a small group of women. Most women I’ve known, know that a foundation of friendship, respect, and affinity are the basis for big, lasting, sexual attraction.  That’s how most women roll, and we use our intuition to do it.

But in this case, it isn’t just our intuition, it’s the science of biology combined perfectly with the intuition that demonstrates my point.  The holistic scientific method demonstrates how women pick a mate.  Pheromones give off silent, non-noticeable smell signals to a woman, about a man’s DNA.  It doesn’t occur so much with men because they aren’t the ones reproducing.  Females make the healthy baby so we have to pick! That’s just nature fellas. This stuff is deep and not even in the control of males or females.  We smell each other unconsciously to put the DNA messages we get about the other person through our subconscious computer brain.

In this case, our 300,000-year-old ancient instinct is behind the selection.  Family resemblance comes into play here too.  Females and males tend to be drawn to people that may resemble an immediate family member if they have safe subconscious tapes about those family members. If you’re at reproductive age, you will be concerned whether or not that person will fit into your family when you have children.

 “Richard Prum, a mild-mannered ornithologist and museum curator from Yale, has published a book intended to win Darwin’s sex theory a more climactic victory with THE EVOLUTION OF BEAUTY (Doubleday, $30).”

“Prum considers birds artists. Manakins (Prum’s study group) carefully choreograph their dances. Bowerbirds mastered perspective in their bower building eons before human painters grokked it during the Renaissance.”

“Prum sees such aesthetic choices as driving a gradual “aesthetic remodeling” — an evolutionary reshaping of mating behavior, and even of male social behavior more widely, by the civilizing pressure of female preference. Prum stresses this is not about emasculating males or dominating them; it’s simply about selecting for males who allow females autonomy and choice.”

The sexually frustrated men who nobody loves, just start wars. We don’t want that.

Paige Bradley-spring

Artist Paige Bradley, “Spring”

Bi-Gender Intuition


I believe that, even though women have a biological brain preponderance of intuition, plenty of men do too.  Plenty of women are naturally good at STEM;(science, technology, engineering, math).  I loved my chemistry set when I was eight. Most men are not as naturally tuned into their bodies as women are.  Again, this is not to disparage, it’s evolution.

I want peace, not gender war.

My wish is simple; that women do not expect men to be like women and that men do not expect women to be like men.  We are who we are and sometimes it’s a benefit for us to partner and live together, given enough space…sometimes.

animated-peace-image-0042

The Science of Intuition


“We thrive in a culture that believes rationality and prevailing scientifically proven logic rules over the knee jerk reaction to pull out of the parking lot or investigate a partner’s alibi. There are just certain feelings humans obligatorily follow without concrete reasoning.”-Samantha Olson  

Here is the article.  It’s short.

Intuition is Far More Than You Realize

Our subconscious mind is formed predominantly by our mothers in utero and then the environment of family and friends until we’re about seven.  We have no personal control over this nor can we change it as we become adults!  Do you know what your mother was going through or how she felt while you were in her?  This is where the rubber meets the road folks and you’d do well to ponder it or at least find out if you can talk to her.

On the flip side, the word intuition is based on the word “intuition” or “consideration,” formed by a collection of beliefs, experiences, and memories. The intuitive system is more hardwired into the human species than commonly understood. It is the automatic, mindless thought process that doesn’t require analysis or deep thinking.”

I agree with everything Samantha says here except the last sentence.  I pushed my mother’s voice and family voice to the back of my mind starting when I was nineteen, so I’ve been forming and living from my conscious mind for thirty-five years.  The conscious mind is called the “new brain”.  I’m now fifty-four so I’m used to living on the leading edge.  The intuition is not mindless.  I think the instinct is mindless, which is our ancient, animal instinct.  Real intuition comes from the conscious mind.  Instinct comes from 300,000 years of programming from the environment of our subconscious mind.  We’ve survived, so it has served us well.

 “When humans are forced or denied certain feelings during their prime stages of mental, physical, and above all emotional growth, guts can be faulty.”

This one really does rely on thinking back on your mother, her personality, how open she was, how free you were to express yourself.  My sisters and I were very free to express ourselves but my mother was almost always unhappy so none of us have a very solid sense of emotional security.  What is your memory?  It can help you unravel your relationship patterns to remember.  I was not denied any of my feelings in my very early stages. For that I’m grateful. The extreme restriction from my mother hit when I became a teenager and I don’t know why.  At that point, she absolutely tried to live her identity through me.  It’s only abated a little bit now that I’m in my fifties.  I believe many mothers and parents do this to their children.  I discuss it in my new book “Healer” which you can find in the menu on my home page.  There is no rhetoric in my writing. You may find it refreshing.

“Women, on the other hand, may have a stronger ability to make a successful intuitive decision because of their exceptional skills in reading other humans. Female ancestors needed to evaluate a situation quickly in order to tune in to their infant and their environment for protection and survival. Their brains were trained with peak awareness because they were protecting a heart outside of their own bodies. Female brains, therefore, evolved to have a larger composition and ability to organize chunks of environmental information at a time, giving them an edge to read people. So ladies, trust your gut.” 

There is this, right?  Women’s intuition, especially regarding the body really does rival males.  It’s an evolutionary development.  I believe men can be encouraged to be empowered in their body awareness though too as we move into the conscious mind, or the “new brain”.

We are in new territory in this cultural paradigm shift, using a new part of our brain that we have not used previously.  The archetypes from the Tzolkin Cosmology, The Tarot, Jungian, our larger media culture (TV and movies), and Nature will all be morphing as we form a new way of relating to each other.  I’ll keep my eye on it right here.

The Paperback of “Healer” is Printed and Available for Sale on Amazon along with the Kindle E-book.


Healers heal themselves, they don’t heal others. We can share our work with others though so they can be about taking care of themselves also. Healers are authentic, living examples of how we can step out of our subconscious imprinting from parents, family, and provincial upbringing to create our conscious mind and live a truly free life of our choosing. We also know how to access the information in our unconscious mind through the dream state. The unconscious mind transcends intellect, brings forward intuition and allows it to MANIFEST in physical! The information in the dream state, where there is no thinking, is available to everyone.

My book “Healer” is published


 

My first book is available through the Kindle Store.  The direct link to purchase it is:

 

“Our families mean a lot to most of us, but they can also attempt to block or control our choices. Many times, we don’t talk about that part because we feel they provide us with a measure of emotional and social security we wouldn’t have otherwise.

We now know that the subconscious mind is programmed by our parents in utero and through the first few years of life. How can we overstep that programming and move into our conscious mind where we make our own choices as adults?

Seventeen years of hands-on clinical experience with patients taught Lisa many ways to achieve it. She learned how to reclaim power over her life and teach it to her patients using holistic medicine and holistic values, Reiki, and Tzolkin Cosmology.

Synchronicity, not coincidence starts to figure into events.  Everything happens for a reason.  Once the lesson is learned, it can be released.”

The paperback will be available for sale in early September, also on Amazon Kindle Store.   Enjoy!