Heartset; Can She Be a Human Being?


cropped-gold-tears-klimt.jpg

She is either the big, bad, controlling monster because she’s a strong, intelligent woman or little Cinderella princess needing the glass slipper put on her foot? Too many men are passive-aggressive about women I suppose because they don’t understand us. We’re neither of those two ends on a linear spectrum. I wonder if men are capable of interpreting relational ideas past duality?

Relating is more complicated than that. Don’t give me the “Men are simple creatures that just need a dog” crap. If you’re going to inflate your ego to the point if feigning vast intelligence, all the top jobs and Nobel Peace Prizes, all the power in public and most of the money and fire women from their position who won’t hook-up with you, then you need to uplevel your brains to friendship with the woman you’re fucking. Then we can share power in public.

Let’s face it. We live in a vampire whored society where everyone is brainwashed to give over their mind and body to marriage, family, church, employer, and state for some money crumbs and the fat cats keep the rest and wait for us to die. Then the funeral homes and cemetery and the rest of the death industry clean up after that. It affects how women and men relate to one another to be sure because we end up in survival mode not thrive mode. That’s not a garden of intimacy.

I’m not and most women are not a misandrist. I just don’t want to have to train my mate the way I train my child. It’s an insult to men and women. We just want the species to survive on the planet, we’re the ones that make, birth, and love the species, and you guys have had your chance for the last 10,000 years. This madness has to stop.

Essay; Women Attach Through Sex and Men Attach Through Emotional Bond


boy-and-girl-engage-in-yoga-on-the-nature-a-man-and-a-woman-meditating-in-the-mountains-people-relax-at-sunset_hkmosmfrx_thumbnail-full01

My intuition did a whammy on me last week and I sat on this for that long.

Women attach through sex/physical attention and men attach through emotional bond!” Ironic isn’t it?

You probably read that title and said, “Ok, we know that about women but men?” No one talks about men getting all warm and fuzzy and emotionally attached to a woman just because of her vibe, how she moves or how she talks and walks. It’s in all the songs they sing though. Men pine much more deeply for a woman than a woman will ever pine for a man and they’ve told me that they have an issue with that! Women, on the other hand, tell me how imperfect a man has been, how she’s rejected him and that he screwed up. The men I know NEVER tell me that about a woman. The men are adoring of their mate. Think about it. Men are far more emotionally rejected than we are just because they don’t act like women or love the way we do. How could they? They don’t make human beings in their bodies!

Men are very insecure about this state of things and men feel deeply when they fall in love with a woman. The big news for women is, THE REASON THEY FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU IS RARELY, IF EVER, TO DO WITH YOUR OBJECTIVE APPEARANCE OR BEAUTY BY MEDIA STANDARDS. IT HAS TO DO WITH WHO YOU ARE AS A PERSON, how they feel around you, whether they feel they can talk to you and your general vibe.

Now I will explain what I figured out via my intuition last week. I’ll start with women. Women, imagine how easy and normal it is for you to talk, commune, flirt, hug, be warm and smiley with all the women you know. We do that so easily with each other, even if we’re strangers. I certainly do. We “do” relationship all the time with other women. Not so much with men and here’s why.

Sex. Men find sex to be easy and natural and if civilization hadn’t pulled a whammy on them and judged them for being so sexy and natural they’d probably have sex all the time. Civilization has curbed men in terms of their nature much more than it has women. I’m not saying men find it easy to have sex with other men naturally but the boys club is real. They manage to bond and do things with each other in other ways like sports and such that make up for not having sex with each other. And sometimes, as we know, they do have sex with each other. But think of that. Being gay is much more acceptable for women than it is for men. Why is that? Civilization is set up so that when a woman has her fondest wish, a child, the man is there to be a father for the child’s sake, or at least society has told him he’s supposed to be. If he’s not, society has plenty of punishments for him.

Back to women; the ease with which we have a relationship and find it fine and natural is the ease with which men find sex with others; women or men fine and natural. It’s superficial! Men find sex superficial and normal just as women find relating to others to be superficial and normal. It’s just part of life. Some are close, some aren’t. Women should know that when men see us relating so easily and happily with other women and men, they get anxious about what we’re up to. They don’t know that it’s superficial for us and we’re just being friendly. I don’t think they’ll admit this though.

For women; put sex in the mix with relating to a man and the woman is pulled off of her center. Not only because our physical energy is super responsive to sex but because it’s always a possibility that we could get pregnant. Sex is a big deal to us on many levels.

Put a relationship in the mix for a man when he’s relating to a woman and he’s pulled off of his center because he doesn’t have much natural skill in it. What men do is tease, tickle, jostle, nudge, compete, get a little jealous and criticize some when he has feelings for a woman that he’s a bit uncomfortable with. Take that as a cue women. He likely has a crush on you. Don’t lead him on if you don’t have a crush on him. If you think he may really care about you and you him, it’s a mistake to rush into sex. The other bonding needs to happen first in my opinion.

What is the remedy here? First, accept that men and women are naturally different from one another and don’t diss and neg on each other saying, “All he wants is sex or all she wants is a relationship.” The OPPOSITE is the truth. Again, I’ve surveyed people in my office for twenty years. Women talk about sex with men and it means a tremendous amount to us to be attended to physically and wanted sexually and to check out the chemistry. Sex will never be superficial to us. A woman who is superficial with sex or playing in the porn arena is up to something that is not good for men. I think it’s selfish on her part. She gets all kinds of sex and gives no care or relationship.

It’s ironic to me that we view men as being so awful to women right now when the fact that the porn industry exists and so many men (and women) are addicted to it shows that there are millions of women out there who hate men, don’t believe they have feelings and don’t care about their feelings or needs. But, it’s taboo for men to express what they need emotionally, isn’t it? Undoing that, women raising their sons to express their feelings and encouraging their daughters to physically love themselves will start to bring gender equity.

Essay; The Sacrifice Model Shores up Patriarchy


my-kite-1@2x
“My Kite” by Paige Bradley

My last post was about men as a subject, women as object and how that can pivot so that men are objectified as well under the paradigm of patriarchy.  That’s not something that most women are aware of. First, let me remind my readers that neither male nor female dominance in civilization is ideal. We came from 5000 years of matriarchy which preceded patriarchy and now we are shifting again. My hope is that we don’t go back to the mistakes and abuses of matriarchy just because it’s in our collective unconscious ancestral memory. I believe women have evolved ahead of men but men have come a long way as well in 5000 years. The idea here is for humanity and the earth to move into our conscious minds, or reasonable mind engendered by the balance between intuition and rationality. That will then fill our households, the foundation of our societies the world over.

Gender equity or balance of power will lead us to less militarism, more peace, more great sex, and more love. Yes, I’m an idealist but some partners are succeeding. It occurred to me yesterday that when you have the subject-object system going, which is what patriarchy thrives on, both subject and object, both men and women are sacrificed for the profit of the 1% on the planet, even though patriarchy makes it appear as though men are in charge. They aren’t really. They only have what women let them have. Imagine for a moment the suggestion of “Lysistrata” coming to pass?

Lysistrata is a Greek comedy written by Aristophanes about women boycotting sex with men in order to quell the endless wars of that age. What if today, women all over the planet found the wherewithal to stop making porn videos altogether, stopped having sex with their husbands/boyfriends/partners, and halted reproduction until men got the message of respecting our humanity and not just looking to us for sex and food attention but as a friend and a mate? Maybe this is what lesbians wish would happen. There is a whole group of feminists that believe that until women take full charge of their body and stop sharing it with men, women don’t stand a chance of true liberation. I just ponder that in my circumstantial celibacy. I will say that it’s truly empowering to live alone and be in full charge of my body and my physical energy as a female. I’ve become fully aware of how much all of the men I’ve known have taken sex and food from me and how little they’ve truly given back. It’s not an awareness I relish and I’m certainly not saying that I believe all men do that.

Subjects are sacrificed to the 1% who in turn are brainwashed or socially engineered to sacrifice the objects. Men are “subjected” to the dictates of family, state, church, and corporation and sacrificed and rewarded for handing over the control of their heart and mind to that. That’s how Trump got elected in provincial, small-town America which is trapped in it’s subconscious, family-programmed mind!

Part of the purpose of social engineering is to objectify and eat women for breakfast. Women are to be consumed; sexual consumption and food consumption. Men are not taught to see us as full human beings with a mind and heart but to overlook all of that, no matter how smart or successful we are in order to objectify and subsume us; no matter what. Her provision of children is only a mask for the man that makes him appear more socially acceptable to all of the institutions listed above. Let’s not forget that he is not acting from a whole heart and mind. If he did, he would be a damned artist or poet, drugged in a psych ward and living on the fringes.  We can’t have that frightful prospect, can we? I’m half kidding.

There are millions of men and women who are free spirits and see through the charade of civilization though and we own houses, pay our bills and mow the lawn. It does take guts to join us though and we’re usually not rich.

So you see the subject-object title is interchangeable. The subjects are also brought to be objects for the elite; especially in war (the honored dead, mostly male), in sports, and in corporate life. It’s incumbent on men and women to jump out of the subject-object roles and live a free life.