misconceptions about strong women


load the star

Strong women have been broken and usually ripped to shreds and used by family, death, life, employers, and the opposite sex and don’t sink to the bottom, use others cynically or crack up. They remain open, brave, active warriors on this very difficult planet that says “Love” all the time but doesn’t do it. They do it and it bears fruit. They understand that forgiveness is for their good, not the abuser and they don’t feel one bit of guilt about it.

The misconceptions are:

We are independent, not interdependent

We are not usually independent we are interdependent. Interdependent means we depend on others and they depend on us. We count on the people we live and work with to do self-care also so we can depend on them when we need them. We take care of ourselves so they can depend on us when they need us. This creates trust and function. It’s called adult reciprocity.

It’s harder for a man to live or bond to us

It’s impossible for a weak man to even get our attention. We are attracted to strong, self-contained men and there aren’t very many to choose from. What is weak? Poor health, poor looks, poor hygiene, poor social skills, bad teeth, poor finances, wears a baseball cap all the time, wears a suit all the time, wears sunglasses all the time, hides behind religion, cares about his orgasm more than mine, looking for a hook-up, no relationship skills, doesn’t respect women or to spend friendship time with one, believes women have their place, feels women are too controlling.

It’s exceptionally easy for a good, strong, interdependent man to live or bond with a strong woman because she’s trustworthy. Is he? She’s always there for herself and others so she’ll be there for you. You can’t really take advantage or get one over on her and she has no time to control you because she’s busy controlling her own life. Sounds sexy to me.

We need others less than most people

The truth is we really struggle to find women who aren’t jealous or won’t compete with us, who love and like us and care about our struggles and weaknesses and who haven’t sacrificed themselves lock, stock, and barrel to a spouse or family or latched themselves to a partner that defines them. We have fewer friends than most people because we tend to be dissed by most women and men so the truth is, we need people more. We also tend to invest a large amount of energy in our work.

We’re high maintenance

We are high maintenance for ourselves, not for others. Egotistical women are high maintenance. Strong women expect the most from themselves, not from others. We don’t usually expect anything from others unless they love us, understand us or offer. It’s very rare that anyone does. We’re actually the lowest maintenance person because we take care of ourselves…all the time. We actually have no choice given our values of integrity and how broken we’ve been by being kind to those that hate themselves and are looking to get, get, get, and take, not give.

We’re bitches

Strong women are confident, kind and liberal. They are not cruel and controlling. Strong women are the most loving, kind, empathic, considerate people I know and because we’re not centered in ego, others think we’re foolish or chumps. Wrong. Egotistical women are bitches and sit in their woundedness, getting revenge when they can. That’s weak. There is nothing worse on the planet than a cruel, foolish, ignorant woman. Strong women want to empower others and themselves with their work and believe in the gifts of the spirit.

We’re selfish

If you define selfish with a capital “S” then we are always working to be sitting in our Higher Self. We won’t let negativity, resentment, the past, and followers bring us down or dissuade us from our mission. We tend to be leaders and entrepreneurs. Selfish with a small “s” are usually women still stuck in their adolescence developmentally for whatever reason. It’s important for men to think about their previous relationships and decipher whether she was selfish and not project that onto a strong woman.

Strong women spend a lot of time alone because we need to replenish our energy from the joy of giving to others and taking care of ourselves at the same time. Most of us are never lonely and enjoy being single. That is the case for me. We welcome friends or partners that won’t compete, be jealous, try to put their thumb on us or break our backs to make themselves look bigger but we usually do end up alone while everyone climbs the human dog pile to see if they can get to the top and snag the trophy that means nothing to us.

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The Work of The Spiritual Warrior


It becomes the work of the spiritual warrior to love themselves and life so strong and so true that the b.s. around them doesn’t stick nor does it distract. You certainly cannot change the very negative person or family system; you can only stay in your own space. A healthy relationship really isn’t possible. Its foundation is self-loathing and then they treat others poorly, especially those close to them mostly because they think you have to tolerate it since it’s your role as a family member to be offloaded onto. That is not your role and no, you don’t have to do anything. There is grieving to go through then.

The spiritual warrior does not profess perfection or ego but works and works and applies themselves to their own body, to bring light and life through the flesh that is already IN the flesh. Physical alignment brings Spirit-Body-Mind alignment since they are one. That is the true work of the spiritual warrior. Maybe you know God is real and the others don’t believe it? God is not a religion; it’s the Universe, nature, and physics. That changes people’s minds and hearts as well.

Is the resentful person also jealous of your wounds, losses, being innocently sued, deaths, threats to life, and threats of harm with no backup? Are they jealous of your struggle and weakness? Are they also jealous of your pain? Why not? Is it too hard to acknowledge what the strong person has been through to BE strong? The resentful person is usually emotionally and spiritually lazy, selfish and whines a lot. There is no fixing that other than what they decide from within themselves.

Are you owed so much more than you received from your parents? Really? You have a  body, time and opportunity. What are you whining about? Everyone has a story and it’s usually pretty bad because this is earth. Let it go. You are a free adult now. Get busy! But don’t expect others to approve of you taking the high road, especially if you’re beautiful and you succeed. Based in ego, you’re making them look bad when you love yourself and others and they don’t, and when you have control of your property, possessions, and body as a woman and they don’t.

Most parents don’t super-duper love their children. It’s mostly a natural, organic love simply because the children come from them; as an extension of themselves. They use them for their own benefit first as a tax deduction then god knows for what other ego trips. They’ll put a good face on it though, especially if they have money and letters behind their name.

There aren’t enough gifts, fake compliments or money to make up for a family member who says they love you, then treat you like a dog slave saying you’re their servant, verbally harassing you because they’re jealous, lying about what you’ve done to them and threatening to make something up to sick the cops on you and defending the right of people who hate you, in the family, to attack you.

No amount of love, goodwill, and good works can fix people who hate themselves and others. This is what good people need to accept if they are to stop the co-dependency, walk away, and cut the spiritual cord forever.

So, The Men Are Just Being Friendly


zoosk

It doesn’t mean anything. When they have sex with you, they’re just being friendly! I just woke up to this and cannot stop laughing over my espresso. All the trouble they have to go through to just to be friendly with a woman! “Why do we make it so complicated?!” they cry. Lmao. And I haven’t eaten breakfast yet.

Oh my. Why do they have to bother with the fake romance and talking, and caring, and buying a drink and the lying about not seeing anyone else? Why do women have to be so human and want to bond and have a relationship? I actually don’t want a relationship with a man. Why would I pine for something that they’re not capable of? Earth is a fallow garden for us. Sex with no love. Oh yeah. Troll sex. No thanks.

I’m back to Rajesh and Penny from Big Bang Theory. Penny says, “Look, sex can ruin a friendship. I just want to go back to just being friends.” (big audience sigh which I hate bc it shows empathy for the fragile male ego but not the love and bonding needs of the female which are noble and elevate the sex bond). Rajesh says, “You can’t ruin a friendship with sex! That’s like ruining chocolate ice cream with sprinkles.” Sex with a woman is analogous to ice cream with sprinkles. There ya have it! And we’re at “Blues Clues” level or maybe Romper Room. Where’s my loot bag from the birthday party? Really guys? Yeah…really. They seem to be set at any emotional level from 2 years old to 18 years old but not very far past adolescence. The ones at the adolescence stage are angry and clever, maybe a bit crazy. If women are going to hobnob with straight men, we really need to accept this state of affairs because that’s their brain set up!
But Penny gets her way. In this scenario, he doesn’t rape her but all over the world, if a woman says “No” to a request, desire, or demand for sex she’s raped. The least that you’ll get is anger and then dissing. Am I good at sex? Hell yes. But you’re not going to find out if you aren’t truly warm and loving to me!!!! Couple that with being a smart ass about it and I’m toast.
If Rajesh was a criminal or they were in another country, Penny would not have been safe at all. This is what women have to look out for constantly with men. It’s documented in a couple books I have, one great one written by the reviled and scapegoated Hillary Clinton called “The Hillary Doctrine”. Fabulous book.

The Hillary Doctrine

I was just punished by my date! He reeled me in, didn’t get his way, and his way was unreasonable because he wanted me to travel in a snowstorm at midnight just for sex, and dropped me like a hot potato. I hope he suffers something now and I didn’t even have a second date with him. He’s f*d up to do that to a Goddess like me.

And with that, men hurl because, in order to keep us accessible at your level, you have to treat us like manipulative hoes and bitches, which in truth, none of us are. We are protecting ourselves from our proven predators. All women are Goddesses. The Gods can’t even create life. They need Mother Spirit who is the Mother of us all. But she is silenced on the planet and mortal men who would be gods and superheroes tamper with real powers of creation that reside only in the female and do not honor or protect her heart or her power because they are jealous of what they can never be; creators of life. But the men will deny their emasculating admiration for her as long as possible. For that, it’s likely the species will end once again.

Women Can Appear…


Women can appear critical but really be very accepting and patient in the long view.

We’re just natural teachers.

Women can appear stoic and in control but our hearts are breaking.

We’re just used to not being respected or loved by men so we don’t show our vulnerability.

Women can act or seem weak but we learn that superficial behavior because it’s the only way we’ll get attention or the touch we need; not sex necessarily, although sex is great if there are warmth and care.

We’re just taught by society that it’s incredibly unacceptable for a woman to be powerful and decisive because men will feel intimidated and lash out, but in truth we are powerful and we know it.

Women act like we don’t know how beautiful we are but in truth, we know how much our bodies sway others and some women exploit it to get their way.

We’re just used to being valued only for that; over-sexualized, and not for our minds. Almost all women value beauty.

Women act like they’re not as smart as men but in truth, we all tell each other we know we’re smarter and most of the time, we are. Most women hide it.

We’re just literally paid less and punished in every freaking field we enter if we show we’re smarter than the men. This is incredible oppression and depressing for us the world over. Not to mention the loss to humanity of our ideas and inventions.

Most women find men adorable in so many different ways but we continue to shake our heads at your dramatic, irrational behavior sometimes.

We just love the special one that we pick and want to be your best friend if you’ll let us. It’s not control, it’s love.

Please let us be who we are in our power and beauty without abandoning us or pushing us away. But if and when you do, we always have ourselves and will not allow the human species, which we carry; die because of your choices and the institutions you control. Our bodies and our hearts are PRICELESS. Every woman LOVES deeply and truly and that is our gift and our power.

The art of Gustav Klimpt

 

 

 

 

…and that’s why there is no attachment


rsz_1sex_workerProfessional sex workers are as important to men as professional therapists, counselors, and psychologists are to women. If relationships mean the world to most women, and they do, then they like therapists who help them navigate the choppy waters. Women are more complex than men. We are also given more freedom to express our emotions in society.

The same goes for men with professional prostitutes. Men are simple. Prostitutes are likely the top women on his list because they’re willing to do whatever he wants and needs to please him with no relationship so he can continue being dedicated to his work and money. Today, at this moment, that could be considered toxic masculinity. I’m really not sure. I’m observing the issue. That’s love and that’s heaven for him, just as relationships are for women.

Yet think about the fact that in American society, sex is not considered loving, is degraded, is ultra natural and is considered to be far below bonding, relationships, and love. Two men, I’ve spoken with absolutely agree that sex can be like defecation to them and that’s fine. No woman I’ve talked to would view sex that way in a million years. Sex is spiritual and emotional for us and it really is toxic for a man to ask us to be any other way. Women that agree to that hate men. But men are supposed to submit to female values which are widely considered to be superior. Are they? Or are these values biased? Are women’s sex values ever toxic? Like, only marrying a man for the child she can give him, the father role he can play, and the money he can provide while she does that? Isn’t she using him?

I have no position on this yet but I am examining the issue because I have very intelligent males friends (more than one), who believe it’s perfectly fine for women to be professional sex workers and treat me like they wish I was one, free of charge, no emotions. I’m not. I’m a human being, a woman with a warm heart, and a professional therapist. But the men in my office treat me like I should be a sex worker, unrelenting. The events in our society seem to be making men even more aggressive than before!professional therapist worker

What’s a good woman with a good heart to do who likes bonding and love? We live in a fallow garden. Our children grow up and move on with their lives. We have to cultivate doing what we love, have our own money and work and our own homes. It is a mistake to trust men or to rely on them for anything if you’re a good hearted woman. Above all, take care of your health. You’re the only one really keeping an eye on things. That’s the reality, only no one wants to admit it.