a little chaos


pink roses

In this movie starring Kate Winslet and Alan Rickman, this is the scene of the presentation of Madame Barra to the King of France. She gave him an open pink rose. I just finished watching it.

The King: A light honest scent, natural and unforced. Some other roses seem faded and overblown.

M: That fate awaits all roses sire. All roses are open to the elements your majesty.

They bud, bloom, and fade.

The rose grows entirely unaware, changing from one state to another.

And although the elements may treat her cruelly

She knows nothing of it and continues to her end without judgment on her beauty.

Alas ’tis not the same for us.

King: If such a rose could speak, what would she say?

M: Yes, I am here and gave service under nature’s eye.

And after me, my children will be.

Is there any greater contribution or a more graceful end?

King: A wise rose. And what protection can the gardener afford this rose from the elements of change?

M: Patience, care, and a little warmth from the sun are our best hope, your majesty.

King: I am obliged to you madame for that sweet reminder.

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Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez


AOC2

This is the new normal. She’s in the news every day which is no accident. We all know that what makes the news is somewhat scripted from on high. This new normal is two things; we’re being programmed to accept the type of woman that she is and the power she can wield and second, they want to see whether we’ll accept her or not or how we respond given the irrational resistance and scapegoating of Hillary. But be aware of what Hillary was scapegoated for; the sins of white men and their privilege. All white women are. This is a particular irrational bias we get projected onto us compared to other women, as though all white people are the same assholes. We birthed the bastards that do this to the world. “Yeah!” And, did Bill really do her any favor? To a great extent she could never be assessed in her own right because of him. That system of political power sharing for women has failed because of unrealistic patriarchal rules on men’s sexuality. This is a test.

I’m pretty sure she will be treated better. Plus she’s younger. Think about all the unconscious assumptions in there. She’s Hispanic, very smart, single, beautiful, thin, and young. Ok! There isn’t any depth in there yet as far as her record or character. Still, I like her vibe and the work she’s doing. I’m just pointing out how superficial we are about objectifying women so we can check how programmed we are.

Can you think of any other woman who you see every day since she was elected? It’s really unprecedented. What I find extremely refreshing is there is no man attached to her to define her, objectify her, or control her. She’s single (formally). There is no ring on that finger and that is such a good thing. The days are over for women to be a man’s territory or to be possessed by him. The men are going to have to win her heart and mind to share in her sexual energy, not just buy her affections or marry her into your attractive family, then get her pregnant. That is if she’s intelligent and not mired in provincial ritual lacking any imagination whatsoever.

As I’ve mentioned before, I believe she’s being groomed to run for President in 2024. Whoever mandates the grooming does it from their secret club. I don’t think any of us know who these people are. It’s the same people who made Trump President and told Hillary she would not get her chance. Our elections are fake. The electoral college proves that. My intuition tells me that in the next ten years we will have much more public gender equity and power-sharing and less marriage. I think that’s a good thing.

Permission


Sheldrake on Science

Who gives you permission to be who you are and act as you wish?

The people who live with you? Your boss? Your mate? Your parents?The government? The Church? The Bible or some other religious book?

“We do have laws that come from all of our governments. They are called The State. The two offshoots of The State are THE CHURCH and SCIENCE. Those two dogmas are essentially equal siblings that like to fight for transcendence over THE TRUTH. Neither one of them is going to win but they definitely kiss the parental butt of money and political power bequeathed on them from Big Daddy, The State.”-ME

The State

The State has always worked cooperatively with the Church and Science to keep the masses corralled. Keep that in mind as you watch TV and use social media. Don’t waste your time on reacting to politics. It’s all controlled by the media and whoever is above the President. They are excellent at mind control and crowd control as well as manipulating our feelings. Because of the above fact, in no way can we trust that we’re getting any real disclosure from any institution. So it would be a poor choice to need any permission to be who you are, create what you want and need to create from any of those folks. This is why the preponderance on creative self is so important. They do allow a few outliers as long as they don’t become too powerful and the rest of you view us as freaks. Humans love to see and hear what others create and it’s extremely empowering for all of us to express how we feel, move our bodies, paint, tell stories and engage with one another as co-creators.

State Money and Politics as Power

The worship of money and power stunts all of that and it’s bad for the planet. The healthcare industry is in the VICE GRIP of The State. Just today, I’ve gotten 10 health insurance robocalls from within my area code. That’s harassment to comply with the social order. I refuse to buy health insurance because I’m holistic and choose to spend my money on MYSELF. I’m not supposed to be doing that. I’m supposed to be oppressed, take their pills, get sick and die like everyone else. I’m non-compliant and see a Naturopathic Doctor. I recommend boycott no matter how much they nag and coerce you to spend money on health insurance. They’re not getting squat from me or millions of other holistic folks. Cash is Queen.

Permission

Permission to act comes from within you and I promise you, the Universe has your back. I’ve literally experienced it thousands of times. People may help you some but they will never have your back. You have to rely on yourself. We are free to work out the specifics of our destiny in these bodies of ours. You must be methodical and smart about your plan; not dramatic and reactionary. The over-emoting and holding onto the past is going to waste your time on this planet. Just get busy and give yourself permission to be the main actor in your life. The rest is mostly an illusion. Have fun!

 

 

 

An Expiration Date is Normal for Monogamy & Marriage


Divorced_couple_Credit_InesBazdar_via_wwwshutterstockcom_CNA_9_3_15

I’ve been married and divorced three times and I don’t regret any of it. All three of my husbands were brilliant, adoring men who tend to be what I prefer. I’m not an easy woman to live with because I’m passionate, freedom loving, willful, very physical, and intelligent. I’m pretty much a wild filly although when people see me, they assume I’m a chump or a pushover because I’m full of love, warmth and feminine energy. That’s all true until you cross my line. I’m very patient and will discuss anything and everything until I see you’re immature or not reciprocating. Then I’ll silently walk away.

Two of them actually ended because of death or tragedy. This reason for divorce is beyond our control. It takes a very negative toll on love and you both descend into the black hole of loss. Be sure to get help and climb out of it before you try to be in a relationship again. Otherwise, you’re offloading that grief onto someone else that doesn’t deserve it. You have to heal yourself with professional help.

There aren’t very many reasons to feel guilty about divorce. Life happens and it’s all difficult. Of course, this is my opinion from fifty-six years of observing humans and myself. Most couples do divorce after their kids are grown. And then sometimes they decide they are friends and get back together again. But the basis of any relationship needs to be friendship. Monogamy and marriage are a good idea when you’re reproductive age and having children. Your kids need both parents present if indeed they are present. Of course, the structure won’t work if one parent is busy being a workaholic or some other addiction. Then it’s all fake and harmful for the children. Still, you can try.

The balance of power between women and men outside of monogamy will only work if both are in complete freedom with their body and sex life. No more double standard. Also, the romantic fantasy needs to take a hike. Women are responsible for their feelings and men theirs. We no longer “make each other feel…”. The other day my friend advised, “Don’t be a nurse or a purse.” That can go both ways with a man or a woman! Meaning, seek interdependency, not dependency. When you’re married and monogamous, having a family, you’re dependent on one another. That’s just a reality but will end when the children are grown.

There is no expected possession, dependency or monitoring after monogamy. That’s parental behavior. I like monogamy but it should flow naturally out of what you feel, not rules, and is really only required when there are children involved. It should not be an expectation otherwise. I can’t remember a time when I did not hold this as a value. Even as a child I would express this kind of thing to my mother and she’d just snicker. I just believe in freedom, love, and creativity. If you have some emotional heavies to deal with, seek out a counselor. Don’t offload on family or friends. I think being too heavy or negative can ruin relationships. Everyone is at different levels with this but running more positive and less toxic energy should be at the ratio 85/15. I mean, a minor complaint or little fit is no big deal with a friend or lover but an ongoing heavy emotional habit or dysfunctional addiction is a relationship killer. There is no winning on that one. You must both be taking care of yourselves, yourself or you’re not desirable. That’s a no-brainer.

There is no rational point of marriage or monogamy after you’ve been married and had kids. There is no point of marriage and monogamy if you don’t want children. Every family ends at some point or should if it’s healthy! Otherwise, no one is growing and changing. I notice the women have a stranglehold on the men and the men have become dependent and couldn’t live without the woman. That’s a bad deal for men. Men can learn how to take care of themselves too! What happened to women being empowering for men in return for men being supportive of women? It needs to be a two-way street. Encouraging male dependency is not cool. Coddling a male or doing things for him that he can do for himself is very dysfunctional. I hope, as a culture, we realize that marriage, monogamy and falling in love has a biological function but after that, socially, it doesn’t usually work.

What Causes a Man to Love a Woman?


April showers

I don’t love you! he says in the winter before he’s even met her.

The woman loves him first.

Love comes from the woman and grows.

First she loves herself, then him, then it begins.

Then she shows it.

The fructiferous, fecund spring floret

entices, gesticulates and wafts her

puissant, firm yellow, orange, or red hips

and engulfs the inconversant, comatose, innocent

male insect into her luscious, succulent, wet, petals

from the morning dew…

He wanders in, unwittingly, smelling the familiar pollen

gifted by the stamen.

Hermaphrodite freak, as arable and luxuriant as can be.

The blossom accidentally feeds the male with her nectar

and in, keen, eager, yearning for her ambrosia that is the natural wine of love…

he is silent.

You don’t love me? You haven’t drunk a drop.

When a woman decides she wants to wrap her wet pussy around a particular man, kiss him deeply and long, give him her sexual energy, her feelings, and activate her heart, he thinks he fell in love with her all by himself and initiated it. Then she feeds him a delicious meal. Don’t do all of that woman unless you’re sure you want him to stay!

Her body and her will took him if she knows what she’s doing. That’s my problem. My body wants to do all of that but I like being alone. Damn. I can’t lure him in then step on it. Women do that to men too much.

She picked him, started it, covered all the bases, and he finished it.

But can she continue in that love? Nature keeps changing her. Maybe she shouldn’t start at all because autumn will come again, then winter, and she must die back and return to the soil.

They are both undone and it’s only spring.

“I Love You”


hot-fudge-brownie-with

What some people mean by “I love you” is that they are envious, jealous, and covet everything you’ve worked hard to become, and paid an earthly price for. It’s kind of like a brownie you want to eat. You don’t love the brownie, you want to consume and use the brownie for the sugar high, for free if possible. And then you hate the brownie when your sugar crashes.

Then the claim of inspiration comes when really it’s competition. “You inspire me so much! Thank you.” You know they feel uncomfortable or competitive around you if you never hear from them and they don’t want to hang out with you. And if you do hear from them with a smile on their face, they eventually start ripping away at your soul with their addiction self-hate to try to bring you down. Or the conversation turns to offload and they want you to listen to everything about them and refuse to balance the conversation by asking you how you are and listening to you, realizing that you are a human being with needs. As long as it’s back and forth, it’s not offloading. Friends need each other to listen to each other sometimes. I only have two friends like that and they are both men. No women will be reciprocal friends with me and reach out to me. I always have to reach out to them and I’m not doing it anymore.

There is no short cut through others to loving and knowing who you are. I’m not eating that brownie. Once a month I might, but not usually. Loving yourself starts with making the choice to eat nutritious foods and making choices that are good for you because you value your body and your life. That includes being around people who reciprocate because they are capable of caring.

Longing


kissing

 

Languishing, ardent desire isn’t a painful kind of suffering,

It’s fulfillment; the kind that worries lacking it.

Your voice…a deep bell struck under water causing small

ripples in my undertow.

It’s engorged life, fertile effulgent, flaming magma-like flow

Not too much! You’re perfect.

My sighing kisses embarrass for a moment while I check my breathing

It’s a strong, mutual heartbeat echoing through my body

And I believe I am undone…again.

 

Define “Lover”


two lovers

It’s a friendship middle ground where men are still free to roam and women are still free to roam emotionally and physically also because we don’t need the ego validation of being the center of someone’s world. In fact, the last thing I want is someone to need me that much. It’s dependency! We should all take care of ourselves. Otherwise, it seems to me you’re still looking for a mommy or daddy. We all need to get over that. That, and I really need to sleep alone and roll around in my queen bed. I suppose a remedy could be a King bed.

So, speaking as a woman, I will have friendship feelings for you during sex and that’s all. I think that’s the biggest and best connection you can have with a man. You’re friends! Yes, I will love you as my friend. How can love be any better than that? And I would make it clear to a man I was going to be with that in no way are there strings attached physically but we have a friendship agreement. That is all. There will be no use or just sucking sexual energy from the woman and dumping her like a hooker. That’s a hookup. Women who do that to men should not do that either if you want a lover. Friends don’t use each other. So, it really is in the woman’s purview to make sure you really feel like you have some type of friendship with a guy before you have sex with him. I don’t think guys know how to create that. You would never have sex on a first date if you seek lovers and friends.

Obviously, every woman and man is different in how they might define it. I also find it doubtful that a man would call a woman he has sex with his lover but he should. He would say “girlfriend” because I think men tend to be more territorial over a woman’s body than we are with them. But to a woman who is a free spirit that is too heavy on the territory and social obligation. There is no way I want a boyfriend or a husband which is almost the same thing minus the paper. Women that are busy, work, have projects, business and ideas in no way need or want to invest most of their time in a relationship. I’m not going to babysit or be nursemaid to a man. I don’t need to or want to. I want us to be friends as equals; no possession.

A lover is not friends with benefits because sex with warmth, love, and friendship is real sex which is a very big deal to a woman. It’s not just a benefit you’d receive like a job benefit. There is no territorial or legal claim, no possession. You actually dig each other and each other’s bodies and sexual energy. That’s it. No obligations. You usually agree you can have another lover if desired. In order to leave it out of hookup territory let’s say only one other lover. It’s not polyamorous which is hookup defecation sex. If you’re all friends, the body types match and you’re mature, that could turn into a menage-a tois. Why not?

That’s a lover. It’s not a hookup with a stranger, not defecation sex, you’re not just friends although that’s included, you’re not boyfriend/girlfriend, there are no social contracts, and you don’t want or need marriage or a relationship to corral, define, or control you or continue to play out your family of birth psychodrama. It’s empowering for a woman who has her own life. As dramatic, territorial and emotional as men get about sex and the body, they don’t usually like it. Again, it’s similar to the way my young son got when I was talking on the phone to someone else. Well, take it or leave it because I won’t be possessed by any man absent real love which is usually quite fickle or non-existent for them. Men and women in a relationship need to become more equal or not exist at all.

 

Pleased


I wish I was pleased like a normal woman you see

but fucking isn’t that simple for me.

I’m sensitive to vibes, love, or lack of it

Monkey in trees, bull moose I’m not comin’.

I’ve plenty of space, time, and energy galore

but I just can’t see myself being your score.

Where a man just comes over to get me one off

I’m not pleased by just that, and it makes me scoff.

I’ve had plenty of THAT, it’s as easy as pie

I guess what I want is that pie in the sky

Love, warm kisses, caresses, and looks

Time to lay down next to him in his crook.

Put down your damn phone! and feel flesh after all

There’s more to my girl than just tits and my doll.

My whole body’s RIGHT HERE for you to enjoy,

Can one of you guys calm enough to employ

your heart and your senses to know who I am

care enough to spend time and just be a friend?

 

Probably not.

puzzle-klimt-eventail-index

 

 

Women Feel the Need to be Like a Colorful Male Bird? Yes.


 

 

 

 

I don’t. But many women don’t like to be ignored. Kind, smiling, pretty, plain women are preferred by a husband for marriage (hurrah!) But when it comes to fun, sex, and money, because of the sexual objectification of women, men prefer novice, meanness, titillation, color, and bitchiness. Women are just actors in men’s psychodrama and it’s important for women to see that if they want to choose to lead authentic lives and play no role for anyone. Some men see women as human beings but most don’t. They can’t because we’re more human than them and rival them in a myriad of ways. That’s not something that they can psychologically handle.

In many cultures, men are free to have a wife and a mistress so they can have the status they need and basically have their cake and eat it too. Then the women can choose whichever role they prefer to play for the man as long as patriarchy continues. Women put on all the colorful makeup and clothes, along with gay men.

In nature, the males are bigger and more attractive, dance around and are colorful. The females are just…great the way they are and the colorful men pursue them and show off. I certainly see that with Bruno Mars and the Hooligans. They’re adorable to me! I don’t know what the guys think. I know quite a few women who think they are some fancy birds dancing around and showing their stuff. Most females do love it. That is nature.

But I wonder why our society is topsy turvy, where the women feel the pressure to be colorful; LIKE MEN? I shunned public performance because I’m very feminine and come across shy. I’m not shy with a man one on one…at all. But my nature is female! Why would I want to draw a ton of attention to myself? I do get courted by men but not men that I like. That’s troublesome. It’s because I don’t strut myself like a male bird.

I notice the women on the news are expected to be very aggressive in their tone of voice and buff. Patriarchy essentially means men want men because they feel they are superior to women. Women are viewed as defective by men that cling to patriarchal misogyny…and football. Many men don’t, I know. So women are only desirable if they’re more like a man. That means the man is essentially homosexual. I’ve never heard anyone suggest that but I see it. He prefers males or women that are aggressive or bitchy. Gag me. That’s the alpha way and obviously, I’m beta. No alpha man has ever pursued me and won’t. Good!

Just throwin’ this out there. Women who succeed in public are either very assertive, aggressive or a lesbian. IN NATURE, that is a preponderance of testosterone which is alpha male. Beta women that don’t want to act like a guy are ignored, except by the beta males who are trolls, nerd, artists, and freaks (women are all of that too). It now suggests the issue of alpha vs. beta. I believe our society is moving toward the rise of the Betas.