Over the last year or so the confusion has increased around those who know me. They can see I’m doing really well and thriving but they don’t know why. I’m alone a lot and perfectly happy that way. Now that I’ve realized I was raised by my family and society to absorb, mimic, and look for approval from other humans and experienced how shallow and unfulfilling that is, I’m in a more content place. I don’t do any of it. I stay in my own body space, my energy within which I love, and never absorb others even though I do observe their drama.
I’m finally accepting that not everyone is as empathetic, sensitive to energy, smells, noise and toxic energy as I am nor do I expect them to be. But I also can’t change to be insensitive like them. Maybe some would say they are desensitized but I’m not desensitized. I am rationally detached from it though.
The thing is, my feet are squarely on the ground, I have a regular sleep schedule, I’m very healthy, I don’t party, I see a friend one on one for lunch, I earn money with a skill I love, I only take one nap and feel happy frequently but not too much as that’s unbalanced, I’m fine going out in public (no crowds though), and I pay my bills. By societies shallow definitions I have my s*t together but to people who know me, I’m odd. I feel odd because I don’t know anyone else who is like me.
Being an intuitive means you have access to a constant flow of information from this dimension and the ether from which to process. That statement right there sounds odd but there are millions of people like me that feel like a radio tower. I’ve been like this for as long as I can remember. We still need to fit in though to a certain degree after all. I turn it off all the time and focus here.
One of my friends said, “You’re just like everybody else Lisa,” but he’s never met me. We’ve known each other for a year via phone and social media. He doesn’t know me well enough to say that to me. I’m not like everybody else. No intuitive is like anyone else. I’m different. Halfway through my life, I’m working on being very comfortable in my own skin and not internalizing the plethora of outside information coming to me all the time. It’s not an easy project and one that’s taken years for me to accomplish. I’m a sponge! I could sit in a restaurant and read every single person in it and tell what was going on with their body, etc. What a waste of energy! I’d be bombed out and…I’m not being paid to do it. I do it for a living, partially so I’m not doing it in my down time. I have very firm boundaries, a high fence even, helped by the Universe because I’m working for them. I’m not working emotionally or spiritually for my family, a mate, my son, the public, or an employer. That makes me quite different right there.
While I care for all sentient life, I’m not attached to it. I’ve been so close to death and had so much death happen around me that I’m at peace with whatever comes and try to be as creative and free with every day as I can be. I’m happy to be here and enjoy the constant changes on earth. This latest adventure, climate change is a doozy. I don’t believe anyone is listening and really processing what we’re in for. Most people are in denial. I’m not and my antenna is up.
I do watch the news and attend to social media but I’m realizing that to get my writing done and see patients and pay bills, I need to cut that back. As it is I only watch T.V. one hour max at night. On the weekend I have time to enjoy a Netflix documentary or two.
You see from my Zoosk posts that I try to date and live as normally as possible but I’m not normal. The online stuff is bizarre. I have to be vigilant and take care of myself, not let people use and take advantage of me and be very, very firm with men who would love to take my physical energy and have it for lunch for their sex-hungry souls. I’m so sorry. There is only one man I want to share that with; my twin flame.