Twin Flame Experience


I am in a completely different personal space today because I’m going to meet my twin flame in person soon. We’ve been talking for a year and a half but weren’t ready to meet. We’re working on our connection and it’s all fine. The energy is very intense and different from anyone else I know. Twin flames are telepathic and two sides of one coin. It is a freely associated relationship, open, loving, and usually, it’s purpose is for spiritual work. There is no traditional possession with twin flames because you possess yourselves. The only way twin flames can unify is if they both sit in Self-Love so that the energy and bonding they exchange is unconditional. That’s how it works and is not for the faint of heart. When you’re finally attuned with your Higher Self, your love for others is unconditional. It is truly God in you and it’s real. This is what Spirituality, past religion, is about. Mind, Body, Spirit is ONE.

Twin Flame connection is not about our traditional view of individuals coming together in a love relationship.  A twin flame is not about love or relationship. It’s about cosmic unity because the two of you are the same soul. Your lives have mirrored each other and your synchronicity continues to mirror.

You are unifying part of yourself with the other part to bring a FULL perspective to spiritual work that needs to be done. So the normal wishes, dreams, feelings, boundaries, struggles, ceremonies and rules do not apply in any way. This is not earthly stuff, it’s universal. The universe doesn’t care about sex, human rituals, mores, and taboos. It does care about cooperation and getting a job done for humanity. It does care about true unity.

Self-Love is on a spectrum. Everyone is at a different place but the fact remains, all humans want to feel better. Some do it through suffering and some through joy. It doesn’t matter. All humans will go to the end of the earth to feel connected, once they’re really touched by it. It has a drawing power that is beyond words, art, everything. It’s actually OUR BODIES. It’s LIFE itself all around us. All of the aliveness is one big loving fuck! Sex is prayer with the beloved and is full of grace and light.

Our societies view of sex is so far from grace it’s awful. Religion has separated itself from the earth and they haven’t fixed it. Being politically correct about environmental issues doesn’t fix that awful denial of the body and its rhythm. I will never deny it again. If you hope to find your Twin Flame, unite your own mind and feelings to your beautiful body, take care of it with fresh air, water, and food, but mostly, watch your vibration, your thoughts, and feelings and practice mindfulness. Life is sacred. Every breath is sacred. Humans and the Earth are beautiful. Don’t put toxic music, TV, people, or substances into your body! No toxic family either! Love Yourself and love others no matter what. The Universe has your back and eventually, so does your Twin Flame.

 

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Let Your Heart Break


Why? Why should we let our hearts break?

Because the release of that hard emotion, the bitterness, the layers of cynicism and resentment of everyone who has ever wronged us, really badly on this dang planet where families are put on a pedestal and should not be, where marriage and love are put on a pedestal and should not, need to fall away so real love of who we are as infinite spirits can shine through. No one on this planet knows you as well as you know yourself so be your own best friend first.

I am no longer religious but I am spiritual 24/7 having walked, run, jogged, sauntered, you name it through life’s fires and have let my heart and body be broken to smithereens. It needs to happen so we are no longer ego-based, looking for affirmation, looking for our parents’ or partners approval, looking to please even some “God” who religions teach have these rules and hoops to jump from a book we have to agree with. That’s all incorrect.

The human body, the brain, the mind needs a challenge to grow. What most people call faith or belief is just intuition combined with a rational explanation. Christianity, in particular, has plenty of rational explanations for its tenets despite naysayers but then it falls off the wagon mistaking faith for intuition. Faith sounds brainless for people of rational reasoning ability, for good reason! Their faith makes them denounce Science!  What? That’s nuts. But Science asks people to deny what they feel and know, what their intuition tells them. What? That’s nuts.

What both scientists and people who sense, feel, dream, and know by intuition or faith have in common is pride, an ego and a sense of self or dignity. They want to be right, to be heard, not made fun of and taken seriously. Well, the people who think they’re more right than wrong don’t seem to know that hardly any human being on this planet is right about anything. It’s mostly a crap shoot. Humans need to be loved, heard, and validated. It’s like a baby crying for attention.

When your heart finally breaks and you grow up, what you really want to do is give all living things as much attention as you can. You no longer need to receive it as much because you love and take care of yourself. The desire to give to all of life, humans, children, animals and the earth overflows within you because you finally feel that you’ve been given the gift of life yourself for a short time on earth, it’s IN you, and you’re going to share what you’ve got going on. So let your heart break open so it can heal. That’s the whole point of being human, and it doesn’t last long so revel in it.

April showers

 

 

 

The Priest Died


I talk about the experience I had working with a Catholic priest in my new book “Healer”. I just found out he died of lung cancer last year, just as my son’s father did seven months previous to that.  He was a smoker, drinker and lived a fast, loose jazz life as a cabaret singer before he was ordained.  It was a seamless career transition, no doubt.

This part isn’t in the book, but I worked with him as the liturgy director for Triduum in 2009, which is similar to putting on a complex Easter performance over three days, conducting many musicians and playing all the keyboards.  I had to focus and lead during this time.  It was a lot of work and my first time tackling it! I lived quite a distance from the parish so I requested a hotel room nearby before the busiest of the three days.  I was told they would cover the cost.

The priest had been bothering and flirting with me previous to this but I didn’t expect what came next.  He called me up and expected to have a liaison with me that weekend at the hotel. I wouldn’t do it so he refused to pay for my room! I told the church secretary he wouldn’t pay it and what had happened. She just snickered, as though I should know how the game was played.  She was playing it herself with him, after all, and this confirmed it.  I had other proof and it was in my report to the Diocese before I quit.

I guess I’m not a team player, especially as a woman in the workplace no matter where I go. I took care of myself, paid for the room, and decided I could not be bought my male superiors on a job whether they’re doctors or priests.  There is more to the story, but the short of it is I’ve never been put through the dark ringer as much as I was by this guy. Good riddance your holiness. Now I have to figure out how to forgive him. At least I know I’ll never run into him.

 

The Paperback of “Healer” is Printed and Available for Sale on Amazon along with the Kindle E-book.


Healers heal themselves, they don’t heal others. We can share our work with others though so they can be about taking care of themselves also. Healers are authentic, living examples of how we can step out of our subconscious imprinting from parents, family, and provincial upbringing to create our conscious mind and live a truly free life of our choosing. We also know how to access the information in our unconscious mind through the dream state. The unconscious mind transcends intellect, brings forward intuition and allows it to MANIFEST in physical! The information in the dream state, where there is no thinking, is available to everyone.

Book Review for “The Lost Symbol” by Dan Brown


(The Lost Symbol came out in 2009, but I found some issues to be pertinent today in this book review I wrote that year)

The previous 2 books that I’ve read by Dan Brown; “Angels & Demons” and “Da Vinci Code” were quite riveting and fast reads, but “The Lost Symbol” rivaled them.  In addition, Brown chose to write chapter after chapter as a type of sound-bite; a quickly changing scene to keep the attention of the reader.  That was very clever and it worked! The trade-off was character and scene development.  Even though we all know Langdon from the other books, people do grow and evolve.

Yet he portrayed Langdon very 2 dimensional and much the same. I got the sense he was really tired of this character and it showed in the writing.  This was by no means a visionary work, but it was revealing and fun to read.  Inquiring minds want to know!  When you open the book, read the fiction disclaimer and then read the FACT page.

There was an advantage of the setting being on home turf; Washington D.C.  As Americans, the revelation of the inner workings of our government is personal.  Indeed, many of our family members are Masons.  Many of our towns have “Masonic meeting halls”.  In my hometown, there was a “Masonic Temple”.  As a child I was taken by my Mother and Grandmother to many a community concert.  But chapter 82, page 304 was especially personal for me.

At the opening of the chapter was the 10,647 rank organ that my cousin, Wayne Dirksen played and built as Music Director for The Washington National Cathedral in real life.  His father founded the Freeport Organ Co. and taught him.  Wayne was the music presenter for the Cathedral.  Then as the characters proceeded into the Cathedral kitchen to reveal a very telling clue about “the pyramid”, I thought, “I wonder how many church suppers my relatives had in this hall and never imagined it would be the setting for revealing part of the secret about The Masons in a best-selling book?”  When you read the section, you may hear the church women forever making jokes about cooking something in the big pots that might rival a secret Masonic Pyramid-hold the carrot!  I don’t want to be a spoiler, so you’ll have to read the book to see what I’m talking about.  The point is, the Washington National Cathedral is a Masonic stronghold-including the altar of the church, and my family has roots there.

What strikes me after having read these three books is in “Angels and Demons”, Brown deals with the secrets of The Illuminati and the Catholic Church.  In “DaVinci Code” the antagonist power structure is The Catholic Church and finally, in “The Lost Symbol”-he deals with the secrets of The Masons, but they are protagonists and Protestant.  What do all of these institutions have in common?  They are male dominated with exclusive male membership.  Albeit, DaVinci Code “suggested” the existence of the sacred feminine, but what conclusive power did she have?  There was no real proof of her role.

For all the puzzle jumbling, blood, violence, and torture, there has never been a bigger scandal since the time of Christ than the absolute power vacuum of women in institutions of spiritual power.  There has never been such an insulting, blatant, patronizing lack of comment on the real mystery behind the reason for male dominance in these institutions.  In fact, the reason Dan Brown even HAS a story to write about, even HAS all these mounds of puzzles and symbols to decipher and secrets to root out is because the female has not been portrayed in the real light she holds in the evolution of spiritual power on this planet!

These books lean heavily on the “sacrifice model” to tell the story.  That is because they leave the female out. The Bible completely leaves the female out as an equal to the male.  And the Apostle Paul and Thomas Aquinas have a heyday denigrating her.  That being said, the reason the Catholics can continue to hold power in the world is because their focus remains on the person of Christ and the transforming power of the Holy Spirit, as well as revering Mary.  Yet they are the holdout for ordaining women.

For all the Universal ecumenism propounded by the Masons and some Protestants, what do they have to say about Christ?  Do they think that he was “just another Master” walking the planet or do they really believe, as suggested in the book, that we could each be like him with that level of healing power and love in our hearts? Not if they keep playing their sacrifice rituals over and over as shown in the book!

Love is yielding, not sacrifice.  It is the love that causes one to yield in order to teach a lesson, to further the cause, rather than resist; not sacrifice.  The concept of sacrifice is violent and male.  His death was not a sacrifice.  The sacrificial focus of all the Pagan religions is over.  Give Jesus some credit.  Most of the time, he did not yield.  Take one look at scripture and you’ll see how he laid into the Pharisees and Sadducees when they were wrong; but not at the end.  He yielded and it was heinous.  It was the most scandalous torture of an innocent man, not just on this planet, but in the Universe.  Will this planet ever live it down?

Maybe that’s why so many humans like to believe the cross is so beautiful and venerate it.  It’s a type of denial to try to cleanse it of what it REALLY was; abysmal.  It seems to me that by venerating it you also approve of the enacting of sacrifice.

Am I questioning Jesus decision to yield; no-of course not.  I do question the efficacy and intent of Christ to interpret it as a sacrifice.  He went knowingly and on purpose.  If it was a sacrifice, he was a martyr.  If he yielded, he was a Rabbi and a lover of humans, come to regain power over our planet and vanquish Lucifer.  He did accomplish that no matter how much Christians want to keep talking about him.  It’s finished!

I am grateful for every single speck of who he was, what he did, and what he said.  But I feel, as a follower, that his teaching should no longer be denigrated by organized religion with its pagan symbols and interpretations, much less sensationalized in books such as Dan Brown’s.  Power goes to the one who yields in love.  That is what Christ did.  Neither the Catholics, nor the Masons, nor the Protestants get it.  The hubris of the Masonic thinking has indeed crept into the Protestant church.  There is a huge misunderstanding here about what Christ actually taught.  And to boot, it’s not being taught by the Catholic or Protestant Church either.

Michelangelo portrays the mystery of this yielding in the astounding “Pieta”.  I’ve stared at that statue quite awhile to receive its deeper meaning.  I’ve thought about all I’ve read in Dan Brown’s books about religion, symbolism, the sacred feminine, antagonist/protagonist, and the real meaning of Christ’s death.

The message I received was the need for “balance”.  There needed to be balance brought to this planet between the male and the female.  As Christ’s body lay dead in the lap of Mary in the Michelangelos Sculpture, “Pieta”, I see him yielding to the sacred feminine, to Mother Spirit, to his Mother Mary in the hopes that with the release of his soul, she would come forth and help him bring balance to this troubled sphere.  Was that his core message?  So once again, the two shall become one.  He yielded his body to her, knowing that SHE was the author of his life, from which all life comes, in conjunction with The Father.  It is the great mystery yet to be unraveled, the great secret yet to be told on Planet Earth, the story that Dan Brown hasn’t told that underpins all spiritual institutions, all symbols, and all religions.  Maybe I’ll have to write a book then.

pietathelostsymbol

 

It’s Better to Have Loved


You know the saying,

“It’s better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.”-Alfred Lord Tennyson

I have a new sense about it. If I love, anyone, for any length of time for any reason, my heart may break open but that is never a loss. I don’t feel that I’ve lost anything by loving but have gained. My soul is awakened by connection, care, and bonding.

What I lose is what I did not need; belief that I control that which I cannot; others and their feelings in addition to my feelings.  I lose the belief that I can control their movement, coming and going.  I lose ego, loneliness, radical independence, no connection, cynicism, even resentment for humans just because we can be weak!

All there is in the end is love. People say that all the time but I really feel I come from love and will eventually return to love. And love is what binds me together with all life forms.

So maybe my perception is that I’ve lost a lot in my life.  That has indeed been my perception. But if I’ve loved and learned in the midst of that I haven’t lost anything at all; I’ve gained the gift of my soul being broken open.

As a writer and an artist, that’s all I’ve ever wanted.  Now I have the rest of my life to tell stories and express how tragically beautiful that brokeness can be and how it’s the only path to wholeness.

No one gets to skate past being broken.  It’s pretty much what happens to everyone on this planet. We’re equal in that.

Susan Bauser, Artist

St. Valentine BeHeaded


Here’s some romance for you…

Today is actually a Catholic Feast day of St. Valentine.

He was a Catholic martyr of course, and as it says below, he was beaten with clubs, beheaded, buried at night in secret, and dug up by his followers.

His crime was voicing his dissent at the Romans because the young men were forbidden to marry young women.  Instead, the Romans made it a priority that young men become soldiers for their wars.  You know, “Make war, not love”, the opposite of what the hippies said in the 60’s.

Well, sex, reproduction, gender balance, honoring nature, loving and taking care of the body, those are women’s values.  The Romans were busy making sure patriarchy, the rule of rich, white men came to the fore.

Working class men became fodder for capitalism, the military-industrial complex, materialism, the draft, and war.  The Romans started it and it continues today in modern society.

If men were to fulfill their role by nature in balance with women they would be taught and allowed to love women, love and care for their own body, value being a father, learn the values of monogamy, not polygamy, and find balance between the work he loved and the family he loved.

That’s all been ripped apart for men and by association, women.

Men are used as much by the system that oppresses them as they oppress women.  The system uses men to keep women down and I doubt the men even know it.

The historical proof of this is in the life of St. Valentine who advocated for Love between women and men and was killed for it by The State.

Patriarchy has brainwashed men into believing that they are not to love women, that women aren’t to be trusted, and their highest destiny is in aligning with the powers of church and state.  The truth is, we’re called and made to love each other.  Roman society killed that.

The birth of misogyny is what Valentine’s Day is really commemorating and it is as Okoto Enigma says, “An apocalypse of Love”.

Women continue to directly suffer for it by lack of loving bond in sex with men, if we’re straight. Also, in not being paid the same amount of money for the same quality of work.  So not only are we deprived physically and emotionally but monetarily as well.

Thanks for trying St. Valentine but the arrow is still stuck in our hearts.

 

st-valentine

Holy Kissing


Authority, document, Testament, creed

Usurps my Love and all Earth deeds

Nurture, Earth, yearning passion, lust

absent fondness, potent throbs concuss.

Strength, virility, manly vigor, force,

potent beat, vacant blow, profuse throbbing course

Pound THE BOOK? It’s the loudest?,  leave my heart on the floor.

You are absent, your soul knows no swell or full core of

my love or your love, the book just ignores.

Woman’s body is feared, she makes life on her own

once mans seed is deeply sown.

Yet her body creates the greatest of gifts,

a child, not great thoughts that cause great rift.

holy-bookkissingholy-books

sex-is-source-energy

In it’s purest form…note that qualification.

 

 

 

Resistance or Allowance?


I just saw a post that quoted Gandhi as saying that Christ was the greatest resistor of all time.

No, it was the opposite.  The man didn’t resist anyone or anything, ever.  He was just being himself which was different than everyone else!  He was just flowing with his Christ being, descended from God.  We can flow with that in us too.  He was the great allower because he was the greatest lover of humans and all life on earth, ever, because he was our Creator.  He lived a completely relaxed, calm, and good life.

Do not mistake someone who is very different, who is being themselves, who does not bend to human control, who isn’t concerned as much about following the crowd as God in him/her, who has a focused mission, as being a resistor.  He allowed everyone and everything to flow around him.  No one had to agree with him for him to love them.  He allowed so much, that at the end, knowing exactly what was going to be done to him and by whom, he yielded to the whole sordid affair to teach the lesson of the resurrection; eternal life.  Life doesn’t end with the death of the body.  That’s spirituality 101 among many traditions.  He had to prove that by dying and then appearing to over 200 people in his spirit body.  That was his reason for yielding.

He could have easily avoided it and was taunted to avoid it as he was dying!  He didn’t have to do what he did.  He had a choice!  But he ALLOWED it.  He YIELDED to it.

He was not a blood sacrifice, he was not a martyr, he was not a fighter, he was not a resistor.  He was a lover no matter what.  On this planet, loving makes you a rebel.  On this planet, if you want to love, forgive, heal, be peaceful and happy, that does not mean you’re resisting the flow, it means you’re allowing the flow of Universal Love, of God’s Love.  I keep working on flowing with that myself.

Politically, the Jews needed and wanted him to free them from the political and social oppression of the Romans.  They were not succeeding trying on their own and they needed help.  If the leaders, and not just the people had listened to his teaching, they could have helped themselves.  There’s a reason he was called “Rabbi”.  He was teaching them and they could have been good students.  That’s how that works.

They wanted him to be their Messiah and save them, and not do the work on self.  Now, if Jesus had been a good Democrat, he would have done just that.  He would have saved them.  Oh, he’s a savior in his example and in his teaching!  But then you have to do it.

I’m being facetcious, but he refused to get distracted and react to the politics of worldly power and get pulled into being what humans wanted him to be according to what they thought they needed.  He came to fulfill a mission for an entire universe, not just to be a messiah for the Jewish people.  And boy did he disappoint the Jews.

He lived with his own flow inside of himself.  That appears to be rebellious to people who refuse to follow his example and that makes them resistors, not him.  He didn’t resist anyone.  He disagreed with the Pharisees and Sadducees publicly because their laws and required blood sacrifices were an oppression to the Jewish people.  That mattered to him because he was Jewish, was raised Jewish, his disciples were Jewish and his whole family was Jewish.  So, yes, he had a personal opinion about those leaders.

He never fought against anything and I hardly believe that Gandhi said that.  I doubt he said that.  Good ole’ FB.

peace-sign