Famished


Ciron-the-centaurI am so dull at the specter of rapacious male lust that is overfull and never sated.

Colossus centaur in his superhero fantasy, piggish and greedy for huge breasts and a river of pussy.

It’s just food to him…her body. Just…a meal to gratify his insatiate greed…unless he loves her.

He can turn into a freak devil that does the same thing with hollow power…unless he loves her.

Even if she wanted to she couldn’t fill his black hole of need. A surfeit of money, accolade, ambition, and respect is a snack, but he is not yet a muscle-bound giant so the bloody feast must rage on.

He doesn’t know anything divergent, no other way to prevail, so it’s not something to be rabid about. As a male, every single institution has indoctrinated him to dominate and be a consumer who overfills his barbarian, carnivorous soul. He wasn’t born this way, it’s calculated so he can be of maximum use in the machine with very large teeth.

As a woman, every single institution from her birth has taught her that it’s a handicraft to feed his hungry lost soul, that he cannot feed himself, that he needs to be fed by everything she is, can do or possess because he is barren. Is he really barren of love?

The truth is…he has it all because woman indulged him and gave him her vitality. She didn’t have to! She still does long to give him all of her allegiances and not be loved in return. Why? It’s her undoing. It’s calculated so she can be of maximum use in the machine with very large teeth.

He thinks it’s control from her because he feels dependent and hungry, controlled by his edacious body or the cruel vacuum of his mother’s love. And it’s not just the food he needs, its flavor. He’ll even go to another planet to consume what they have, trying to find a novel flavor. Why does she feel sorry for his empty belly that covers an unrequited heart? He has a heart. We know it.

I’m one of the trifling women that knows you have excitability that lasts beyond a hook-up. The thing about me though…is I don’t particularly care. If you don’t want me, I’ll start to forget about you. Out of sight out of mind!

Men are cursed nomads, wandering the earth without love in them or loving anyone outside of themselves until they really…do…let themselves receive the gift of loving a woman that is not his mother! and need to be with her. It’s totally up to him. All a woman does is exist as she is. She has no control over his choice…at all.

A woman is always complete in herself, fed, not famished, all by herself. But a man is not. His insatiable lust and thirst that calls forth our pity really, will never be quenched until he lets himself be with her completely. A woman needs to have compassion on his need and fall into his arms if he is unrelenting. And yes, she is feeding him, once again.

A man is truly healed and made happy by truly loving a woman, not so much by her loving him because she loves all the time! That is her gift to herself. Because she exists…he found her and he learns to love. That is the greatest gift a man can have and then he’s no longer famished.

Lisa T. 1/4/2019

 

 

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The Womb


dark forest

I’ve known you but a thousand years my love

Your face so rare and calm…

I’ve known you deep inside the walls that push against my scorn.

 

Trenchant waters, tar-like mattes of ribbon sheer and broad,

Stripes form bridges…

Moats to cross…

Transfixed, I hear you call.

 

I know that voice so clear and deep, it beckons me to come,

“Reside with me my love.” “All right.”

The waters surge at dawn.

 

The Night is bright with moonlit sky

I wish it’d go away, to corners webbed and clockwork loose

To trip dimensions throng.

 

Plunge me into silence still embraced by tepid wrong.

Wrong and right eclipse my lungs…

Can’t breathe—

No morals throng.

 

Fear gloats its rabid face…”STOP!” I feign to tell it stunned.

My love lies deep within my heart, unhinged by doom-it runs!

 

Criss-cross sticks form one long bridge

Across the chasm’s face

Tred lightly dear, sing your way through the ache dismissed as day.

 

I’ve known you but a thousand years, this too shall pass away.

Eternity is ours my love.

The womb shall have its way.

 

9/26/09. Kin #66, White 1 Worldbridger (My Tzolkin Analog)

I remember writing this. I was at the end of a marriage and going through the wringer, deeply wanting to find a soulmate or my twin flame. My soul was burning. It was nine years ago and a whole life has happened since. Seems like yesterday.

I’m Jealous


I’m publishing this again because I’m no longer jealous. I figured it out and myself and turned it around. But…this was most definitely true about a month ago. Life is a rampage. We mostly have to tangle with ourselves and what we want. Jealously is projecting your wishes for yourself onto someone else. In this case, who better than my Twin Flame to take the brunt of it. I have to say, I’m not particularly enjoying this journey. There is so much mirroring! It’s a good thing he lives in a western state, 1840 miles away at this point.

Image result for image of a woman jealous of a man's power

God, it’s horrible. I’m not a jealous person but I am right now! I’m never jealous of anyone because I really do love myself generally. Of course, we all have things we need to work on in our character but I do a self-inventory regularly and I’m patient with my process. My issues with men for thirty years turned into resentment and now I see it as jealousy. I’m jealous that by virtue of their gender, what men say, write, and do is taken 100% more seriously than women. When they write a book, it will likely sell. I’m smarter and more literate than most men and it’s doubtful that my non-fiction work will ever get traction. That said I haven’t tried yet because I don’t think it’s perfect. I need to edit it down further. It’s too long.

Have you noticed that women write stories, fiction, and cookbooks and it flies? Unless a woman leaves her receptive femininity and beauty at the door (like Camille Paglia) and is no-holds-barred intellectual, no one will hear a word she says. Women have to display their male characteristics to be heard in public.

I am jealous, I realized, of my Twin Flame. Why did he get to come onto earth in his perfect, thin, small cut male body that doesn’t bleed from the inside and doesn’t feel this neurotic need to sacrifice for his children and nurture others?

Since he is my twin flame, he’s the literal embodiment of my animus. This is part of the Twin Flame journey in facing myself in the mirror. He is perfect physically (although he doesn’t think so) and it makes me sick! He looks exactly the way I always wished I could look since high school. My body was almost exactly like his in high school but less muscle. I was a trim 137 when I was a junior. Both of us are only 5’4″; the same height so there really is no justification for either of us to weigh more than 150.

He doesn’t have all this rampaging estrogen that makes his body thick with the desire to bake cheesecake and cookies, to feed others and be fed. He gets to have all the testosterone that causes him to burn fat much quicker than me because men have more muscle than women, which also gives him more aggression and confidence in the face of life’s challenges where I want to retreat. Women don’t want to fight generally speaking. That’s hormonal! We’re estrogen dominant which makes us peaceful, chatty, and horny.

Robert Downey Jr.

The worst part is the social advantages. Everybody listens to a man speak his mind no matter what color his skin is, just because he’s a man! Men’s ideas, thoughts, inventions, writing, and words dominate our world. Watch the public panels and meetings, the powerful Congressional committees and the staff of most universities. They’re men. Even white women are below all men in the human caste system. ALL men, every creed, color, intelligence level, criminal or not are listened to and taken more seriously than any woman by virtue of their gender. Well, gender is not a virtue; it’s just a biological difference.

There are many brilliant women on the planet of every creed and color and our ideas and writing need to be acknowledged if they’re good. But can anyone hear a woman’s ideas as good or will their bias always get in the way or her looks be too distracting for you to listen to her? All of our minds have been brainwashed to objectify women. Women especially do it to each other.

If a woman has a bigger brain than boobs in our patriarchal system, she doesn’t have as much power. Who is more famous; Stormy Daniels or Camille Paglia? “Who is Camille Paglia?”, you all say. Exactly.

She’s a brilliant writer and equity feminist that refuses to have sex with men and roots for their just treatment as much as women. I agree with her. Stormy Daniels is a huge chested porn star that had a liaison with Donald Trump, but she’s on the news all the time. The whole world knows who she is.

I’ve got my inner work cut out for me on this one. Jealously is a terrible trait that can only be turned by applying love. I’m not there yet.

gorgeous pic

 

Curtains


curtains at Moms

I was just visiting my Mom last week for Thanksgiving and was excited to see her new house. She has an extra room where I slept for three days.

I walked in…and the curtains on the windows were exactly the same print as the curtains on the front windows of my Twin Flame’s house in California. As you may recall I visited there two months ago, meeting him for the first time. We just hung out. I even remember photographically etching the pattern in my mind as though something was unconsciously telling me to remember the pattern. I specifically “noted” his curtains.

I was aghast and told my Mom as she helped me bring my things in. She said, “That’s impossible. I just picked those up at a garage sale at the old place where I used to live.”

“Mom, it’s the same pattern. Oh my gosh.” What is the meaning of that?

curtains 2 at Mom's

When you’ve met your Twin Flame, all kinds of crazy synchronicities happen to stimulate the release of your self-identification with the subconscious mind. As I’ve said on here before, the subconscious is our GPS system given to us by our birth family, imprinted irrevocably on our minds by our mother between in utero to about age six.

Ok, so, this is my Mother’s room! She picked out the curtains. I guess the question is, who picked out the curtains on the front windows of his house?

The talking to I got from my spiritual guidance team yesterday was, “The two of you have work to do and need to get cracking! Move your vibe to warmth, faith, and love and release fear, the past, and negativity!” I’m stubborn-seriously- and fairly cynical about this planet so they have a hard time with me. Especially with regard to men, I know I really need to get over it. My readers may agree.

That is what meeting your Twin Flame is about. Your male and female selves become ONE and there is no more subconscious conflict. You both are individuated adults, no longer sitting in emotional choices programmed by your mother. It’s not for everyone but if you have been called to the Twin Flame journey there are major revelations about who you are and who you are not.

When I finally realize that my mother’s projections onto me do not define who I am, it’s “curtains” for my subconscious mind and hopefully that of my twin flame as well. Then we can be together without fear or resistance but love instead. A reminder here; Twin Flame relationships are spiritual and don’t necessarily translate into living in partnership or romance. Many times the mirroring is a bit too intense for the physical dimension. We’ll see.

 

 

 

Blue Night


My heart, in the burning heat of the Sun…stops.

I move on to a peaceful placid place where there is no Sun…Where I can bear my foolish, flickering existence without your blinding light.

I must retreat into my Night.

I am nothing in the face of the Sun and you must continue to burn.

I dare not ask anymore for a cool wind to touch me.

How can I ask for the Sun to cease its mission? And why should I? The Earth needs you.

But I am not all, My life here is not all. I am nothing and more…

My light is as the stars.

They can bear me…and hold me. The stars understand me but the Sun and the Stars share the same Sky.

It is One sky…in Union with The Earth.

You, the Sun.

I, the Stars by Night. One lights the Day, the other The Night.

Let’s be friends and share what we know of existence on this Earth.

For there is no time from whence we came. We are eternal, forever glowing and moving in our way.

Our path is towards eternity.

Our destiny is Life.

May 5, 1988, Red 5 Earth

(I was tuned unconsciously to The Tzolkin. I knew nothing of it in 1988. I lived in California then and had been to Israel in April.  I wrote this after my divorce from Eddie, my 1st husband)

 

Telepathy is a Function of Intuition


Telepathy is probably very common but most people ignore it and think they’re imagining something; their mind is making it up. No, it probably isn’t. We have certain thoughts for a reason. The mind is not particularly random. It’s more like a radio station picking up signals.

I had another startling dream event that led to being aware that I still have my Twin Flame telepathy going on even though I feel much more emotionally detached from him since meeting him for a host of reasons. So be it.

I’m here to tell you that just because there is some distance between you and your Twin Flame, the telepathy doesn’t stop. This morning, before I woke up, my guidance team flashed a real-life picture, hard copy, of his first family in front of me; he, his ex-wife and kids to show me exactly what they looked like. I wasn’t wondering about any of that. Spirit shoved it in my face to wake me up to remind me not to neglect our connection. GEE THANKS!! Is Spirit shoving pictures of ME in front of him in his dreams? Probably not. He’s preoccupied with making peace with his family which is another lesson. We talked about him doing that too so I encouraged it.

We talked about them at length when I was out there and I thought he was at peace with it being over, but…maybe not. Because then I “saw” a big Thanksgiving get together where they could be together again for a bit and be peaceful along with his aging parents. All of that looks very good and unifying for a family whether the parents are married or not.

As we progress toward Thanksgiving, I think he’s preparing and planning the meal. The picture that was flashed to me is what spurred it again. As I said, Spirit did it because I’ve been ignoring our connection of late because HE IS! Why should I be the only one on this end of things paying attention? I’m not going to be the nice woman over here communicating. No way.

Sometimes, honestly, I question what I’ve committed myself to on this planet, being as psychic, sensitive, and intuitive as I am. The Spirit world has it’s hands on me because I volunteered to be of service from the bottom of my heart. It’s not an easy job. But the good thing is, I never feel alone or lonely, I always feel taken care of, I don’t rely on fickle humans because the Universe has my back and I’m never left in the dark with an unanswered question.

I really can’t complain and have much to be grateful for. Most of all, my intuition.

fall leaves

Male Intuition and the Sacred Masculine


I feel like apologizing for always blogging on the feminine intuition, feminist issues and the need for women to empower themselves in the midst of the patriarchal paradigm by using their intuition. But I’m not going to because…I’m a woman! I don’t have a man’s perspective on what it means to be a man right now in the patriarchal system.  What I do know is there is still a tremendous amount of unequal power for both men and women, Guys have rough patches too but I’m not sure they know how to express it as well as women. We have the communication advantage in our brains.

Nevertheless, I had a very significant dream last night that is leading me to blog on this difficult topic.  It does segue into the Twin Flame phenomenon too because the Twin Flame journey is all about spiritual ascension or spiritual maturing for both parties. It doesn’t have to be heterosexual but in my case it is.

I remember the details of what I was dreaming most of the night and it was run of the mill, nothing exciting; just my mind letting go of habits is what I surmised. Then, a very big, black crow that seemed very real, not ethereal like the rest of the dream, showed up right next to me in my house and quickly flew away with the help of another woman shewing him away. He was pretty big and very alive. I felt no death whatsoever around this bird. He was powerful. This crow was grounded and had his own ways but I was very surprised as soon as I saw him in the house and said, “How did this crow get in here?!” The other woman knew a bird like that should not be in the house and helped me get rid of it.

Now as I’m writing, the crow felt shamanistic or deeply masculine, the cave, and the dark which in my tradition, we usually ascribe to the feminine because of the dark of the womb, the seed, the egg, gestation, the womb, and birth. Male energy is usually the light of the Mind. Everything is shifting right now on the planet and I believe this dream was a harbinger of the sacred masculine balanced with the sacred feminine coming forward. Indeed, that is what the Twin Flame journey is about. Males and females are both light and dark, yin and yang, male and female. We’ve always said that in my field but it’s never actually manifested in our institutions on this planet! That’s been the problem.

This is similar to the actual, real-life appearance of a raccoon in the open skylight on the roof of the cottage in which I was staying in California three weeks ago. He was trying to come in and I had to quickly close the skylight. Both of these animals are totems or archetypes for Blue Monkey in the Mayan System or a Trickster, creator, and mover. It is play, illusion, and magic. But Crow is also a Blue Eagle archetype which is creativity, mind, and vision. They are both Blue so they are closely related in energy. Blue kin is all about transformation. I am definitely doing that right now!

When looking at yin-yang energy, it’s easy to characterize it in a good vs. bad dichotomy. Females are valued and rewarded for being good, warm, loving, small and nurturing and are punished for being bad girls, big, strong, powerful, hypersexual and are slut-shamed. Males are valued for being aggressive (within reason depending on the context), protective, mean (also depending on the context), bad, rebellious, and rampaging anything that’s big! They are punished for being too small, fearful, wimpy, emotional, indecisive and more. These aspects are still entrenched in our system.

As we all know now, in 2018, this is B.S.! Women and men absolutely do share all of these traits and swap them around when they feel like it. God bless America! In our country, we truly do believe human beings have the right to express their true feelings and sexuality even if we don’t rock it in public yet. Everyone still has their secrets.

None of those traits are ascribed in stone to either sex anymore and those that do are so un-hip. Right? On the surface, most women and men still try to rock those boxes but we’re really not supposed to anymore and the younger generation will get in your face about it. My nineteen-year-old hates it when I classify the genders in those boxes. Yet, look at all the leading sports programs, politics, and all the television shows. Men are still very dominant and portrayed in those boxes. It’s a function of patriarchy. Women are seeping in only slowly (female sportscasters) and when they do, they have to act somewhat masculine or just are that way to be socially acceptable! The women can’t act very feminine yet. It’s taboo.

Where is the sacred masculine in all of this? The earth. The ways of nature are male and female. Whenever the natural forces of procreation are challenged, the powerful earth energy steps in. Strong drumming evokes the balance of the male/female energies in sex and alignment, equally! The earth loves her daughters and her sons equally and wants them to walk together in balance on her. It’s only humans all over the world that still prefer sons. Men who love and take care of their bodies, who honor their strong feelings and inclinations, who are creative souls and express themselves in their art, who still want to fuck with abandon and feel no shame just like the animals and the insects.

Men are men and women are women. But we are more similar than different by nature and we both can embody bad and good traits without judgment if we just loosen up those boundaries and deeply feel our bodies and drop the definitions of who we are by Church, state, and media. And we both need to love ourselves as we are.

You have to see this. Trust me, you will dig it! Just click.

Drumming Group-Very cool!

You won’t believe this woman. She is very talented and super beautiful.

Cassandra Fox Belly Dancing. Unbelievable

 

 

 

 

 

Interpreting Warmth from a Woman


Warm behavior doesn’t mean anything! Being warm, smiling, happy, and beautiful is normal for almost all women, but don’t expect it or ask us to smile or you’ll get our wrath; especially lately. It’s no different than men casually hitting on a woman in a predatory manner, staring at her breasts, or offering to have an affair with her because he’s bored with his current woman. Those sexual behaviors all mean nothing to a man too. He’s just being normal. But they do to us!, just like our warmth snd smile means something to you. We are warm and smile at everyone!

We are beautiful, loving creatures that like to wiggle our stuff, put on makeup sometimes, and be feminine. We do it for us because it’s natural, not for you. She is saying nothing at all about how she feels about you. I said this to a guy in Chicago that I was seeing in my twenties and he refused to believe me. That is patriarchy manipulating men’s brains and egos and thus, some women are able to manipulate men to believe that we set up our bodies and looks for you. Women that pretend that are the lowest and the worst. They have no self-esteem and no inner strength. They aren’t to be trusted.

Here is something to ponder then. When a man doesn’t predominantly hit on you but instead is a gentleman, respectful, warm, spends time with you and wants to talk to you, that must mean something more. I’m guessing. This male behavior is akin to a woman showing you her real feelings, thoughts, and inner self; not just all the girly warm stuff. She trusts that you’re interested in her as a person, not just boobs and pussy. Or, she doesn’t mind you seeing her without make-up or naked. Now its getting intimate. Do you see how it flipped? The man tuned into the feminine inner nature and the woman her outer sexual physical truth which is male.

Men have a hard time interpreting how a woman feels, especially if he is or has been attracted to her in any way. At worst, he’s given up and ignores the issue. The fact that he can’t control or accurately interpret her behavior, in general, is obviously emasculating. After all, the greatest male urge is to have access to a woman’s body, especially if she is novel to him. At the very least, if he continues to be attracted to her in some way, he’s got to do something about that attraction which means he wants to take action.

If he keeps coming toward you, keeps coming over, keeps talking to you, keeps flirting with you, he’s into you and there’s nothing a man can say to hide that fact, although they do deny it because they haven’t figured out how to control you yet. Some women are very in control of their own lives and don’t let on how much they are attracted to you either.

Women cannot be controlled…none of us…ever and that will be the everlasting consternation of men. We control the mating signals. Because we’re the ones that have the most to gain or lose in the reproduction game. It’s fair that we control that because of nature.

Post-reproduction that changes. In middle age, some men panic because their testosterone has decreased and they have performance anxiety. If he drinks or smokes weed too much, his testosterone is even lower. Middle-aged women know that by the way and are mindful. However, our libido goes up as we get older because we can’t get pregnant. We have no fear! So, guys, you may want to take care of yourselves to take advantage of all the great sex after 50 that a woman is wanting! Middle-aged women who take care of themselves have it all over the younger women in some ways because we have sexual skill, experience and can’t get pregnant.

More than a couple men have told me they long for a woman to want them. Women don’t long for that. It’s obvious men want us and sometimes aren’t terribly picky. Most women long to be left alone by the men pursuing her that she is not interested in and will not be interested in. That’s the fact right there. If she does decide who she wants attention from, she will be coy, not assertive in attracting him. If he doesn’t respond, trust me, she’ll move on. There are other fish in the sea and we need physical attention. Women want and need sex just as much as men do, but for different reasons.

No matter what a woman writes or says that indicates warmth and affection for you, in no way does it mean she wants to circle her wagons around you, marry you, be territorial about you, or control you. It doesn’t mean she wants you. It just means she likes you and is observing you. It means you have a foot in the door to her attention. And trust me; if you ignore that fact, as though she amounts to diddly-squat, you will never hear from her again. You won’t exist. And if you didn’t bother to really get to know her and cast her aside, your ego rules the day, not your heart. That makes a man a loser to us. If you diss her because her breasts weren’t the right size or she has a belly, you are a fool. That’s how men end up with the wrong woman. They aren’t patient enough to give the connection a chance because of superficial summation of her looks.

Women take a while to warm up and make up their minds about a man. We are complicated creatures and most of us have a very small pool of men that are acceptable to us, that gets our motor running, that we want to share feelings with and feel secure within a dangerous world. So it is a vital mistake to interpret our behavior toward you too soon. Be smart and be patient.

boy-and-girl-engage-in-yoga-on-the-nature-a-man-and-a-woman-meditating-in-the-mountains-people-relax-at-sunset_hkmosmfrx_thumbnail-full01

Twin Flame Experience


I am in a completely different personal space today because I’m going to meet my twin flame in person soon. We’ve been talking for a year and a half but weren’t ready to meet. We’re working on our connection and it’s all fine. The energy is very intense and different from anyone else I know. Twin flames are telepathic and two sides of one coin. It is a freely associated relationship, open, loving, and usually, it’s purpose is for spiritual work. There is no traditional possession with twin flames because you possess yourselves. The only way twin flames can unify is if they both sit in Self-Love so that the energy and bonding they exchange is unconditional. That’s how it works and is not for the faint of heart. When you’re finally attuned with your Higher Self, your love for others is unconditional. It is truly God in you and it’s real. This is what Spirituality, past religion, is about. Mind, Body, Spirit is ONE.

Twin Flame connection is not about our traditional view of individuals coming together in a love relationship.  A twin flame is not about love or relationship. It’s about cosmic unity because the two of you are the same soul. Your lives have mirrored each other and your synchronicity continues to mirror.

You are unifying part of yourself with the other part to bring a FULL perspective to spiritual work that needs to be done. So the normal wishes, dreams, feelings, boundaries, struggles, ceremonies and rules do not apply in any way. This is not earthly stuff, it’s universal. The universe doesn’t care about sex, human rituals, mores, and taboos. It does care about cooperation and getting a job done for humanity. It does care about true unity.

Self-Love is on a spectrum. Everyone is at a different place but the fact remains, all humans want to feel better. Some do it through suffering and some through joy. It doesn’t matter. All humans will go to the end of the earth to feel connected, once they’re really touched by it. It has a drawing power that is beyond words, art, everything. It’s actually OUR BODIES. It’s LIFE itself all around us. All of the aliveness is one big loving fuck! Sex is prayer with the beloved and is full of grace and light.

Our societies view of sex is so far from grace it’s awful. Religion has separated itself from the earth and they haven’t fixed it. Being politically correct about environmental issues doesn’t fix that awful denial of the body and its rhythm. I will never deny it again. If you hope to find your Twin Flame, unite your own mind and feelings to your beautiful body, take care of it with fresh air, water, and food, but mostly, watch your vibration, your thoughts, and feelings and practice mindfulness. Life is sacred. Every breath is sacred. Humans and the Earth are beautiful. Don’t put toxic music, TV, people, or substances into your body! No toxic family either! Love Yourself and love others no matter what. The Universe has your back and eventually, so does your Twin Flame.