The “No Relationship Agreement”, Like a Pre-Nup only it’s a Pre-Sex


presexual agreement

This is the antonym of “The Relationship Agreement” first suggested on the show “The Big Bang Theory” by Sheldon Cooper. At this point, it’s just an idea but it would make me feel better if men knew my boundaries before I date and agreed to them. I’m interested in Sex and Love but not being a man’s territory for his status ambitions.

They also can’t power trip and insult me like I’m an emotional, needy girl that falls in love when I have sex with a man. I don’t. That’s younger girls, not older women. Nor do I care what previous women have expected of him. I control myself. I have zero time or interest in dog-collaring a man.

It can be widely observed that women are treated like “capital”, territory, objects to be owned or sold like a slave as in sex-trafficking, married for status under the guise of love that usually only lasts for ten years, and possessed by a man like a house or a car. Or, used for sex and thrown to the curb with no feelings whatsoever. That is factual in our society. I strongly feel this agreement is appropriate for women and men over 50 since it is not ideal that either of them reproduces. The main purpose of marriage is protective reproduction. After 50, there is no point of marriage and most professionals agree.

Females function socially and biologically under the values of Love and Freedom, that have a spiritual foundation, not ownership because we make humans in our bodies which is sacred. Our sex energy is stronger and more important than the male because everything in our body automatically makes a human being. We hold the species in our hearts. We don’t need to dink around with A.I. or technology or cross-dressing to fantasize about being a woman; we live it. It’s true that the egg and the sperm are equal in needing to conceive but the fact that the woman alone does the rest means that the sexual energy we share with a man is a BIG PROFIT to him. It gives him some of eternity whether he realizes it or not.

They take our sex energy and more and don’t give much back because maybe they don’t have as much to give as women do. Males and thus patriarchy are cashing in on women who don’t realize what big sexual energy we have that rivals males and men don’t understand why we give it away. Like Bruno Mars sings, “Your sex takes me to Paradise.” If he’s not having sex, he feels like he’s been locked out of heaven! That song says it all as do many other songs with men expressing their deep feelings about how dependent they are on our bodies for happiness. Swimming in our bodies is apparently something spiritual. Women just shake their heads because to us it’s just normal and men get dramatic about it!

Most women love giving their sex energy but not to the point of bankruptcy. It’s getting to the bankrupt point on this planet and it’s up to women to stop the hemorrhage.

If you think about a woman’s body like a bank account, women are letting men rob the bank. Prostitution starts to make men pay for a loan but only scratches the surface. Men need to start to pay their own way on the Earth in the form of Love so this agreement is my idea to start in that direction. I don’t know if it’s possible. Maybe it’s like trying to get blood from a turnip.

Please note that I’m not suggesting a “No Love”, “No intimacy” agreement. In fact, women are the opposite. The “No-relationship” agreement is a first step to legally and socially protect a woman from becoming the territory of a man and her energy being owned only by herself, thus guarding her sexual energy for future generations of humans and possibly saving the species. Women are being abused, used, trafficked, raped and denigrated everywhere on the planet and it’s gotta stop. Male, patriarchal institutions are trying to kill the species. That’s the opposite of everything women are about.

The No-Relationship Agreement

This must be initialed by both parties (herein called the fucker and the fuckee whose roles can swap) before having sex. Sex is never an obligatory act once enacted. We are still both totally free. Human beings don’t possess one another; we bond through love. ___________

  1. You agree not to ask me to be your girl/boyfriend._________
  2. You agree not to ask me to marry you._________
  3. You agree that if we discuss it at length, after some time, and agree, we can be monogamous lovers but still not be in a formal relationship that suggests territory. Once initialed, we agree that neither of us will bring another sexual partner into our home if we live together and agree to be monogamous lovers. ________
  4. If one changes their mind and doesn’t want to be monogamous lovers there is no obligation or punishment forthwith. We are both free agents and will go our own way.__________
  5. Under no circumstances does one ever tell the other one what to do. We can ask but never command.____________
  6. We both have and control our own money.__________
  7. Either of us can ask for a 3-way but never expect it.__________
  8. We both agree that digital sex is only occasional or just goofing around. Neither one of us engages in it with anyone as a predominant mode of sex. We agree that sex without a body is unhealthy and dumb.__________
  9. If we want to go out together just ask the other one. There is no obligation and we can ask someone else to go with us, female or male._________
  10. Public designation without #3 is “friends”.____________
  11. Public designation with #3 is “partner”._____________
  12. If one falls in love with the other because they’ve lost their mind, the other one has permission to bolt. We agree not to call the police or missing person.__________

It’s an idea. When a man I date actually initials it I’ll let you know. It would mean his intent is to love and give something back and not use my sexual energy.

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I Had a Breakneck Dream About My Little Sister


me and my sisters

That’s me on the left. My little sister is on the far right. Don’t ya love our Keds? Of course, she’s not little anymore she’s just my younger sister. But I always felt very protective of her and we did everything together as little kids so I still think of her as little. She was a sweetpea as a child and I loved her. I still love her.

I’ve blogged on this before, but part of being intuitive and respecting your intuition means paying attention to your dreams, remembering them, deciphering them, and realizing that sometimes, they’re real and prescient. Not all dreams feel real. Some are just cleansing of the unconscious mind to free it up for new movement when you wake up.

This dream was real and was a whammy. I dreamt that I was in an ethereal house with my sister and my Dad and he was being his typical good ole’ boy midwestern religious self, pretty much the same energy that every woman still runs into with men these days. Honestly, he was no different. He was inappropriate and a user; in other words, abusive which is normal for how men treat women. Women like to be in denial about the nature of males all the time and I refuse to be. Many are far past compliant in order to stay alive! Most are our predators, lock, stock, and barrel. They are not givers, they are takers and want sex, food, and respect, not necessarily in that order. My father was no different. I know not all men are that way and my mates have been good men. I just see far more of the negative kind and it pays to be vigilant.

In the dream, my sister was suffering from this emotional energy in our home as all women suffer in our society from the lack of love and attempted victimization from men when they just want something from us and are not interested in reciprocation on a mature level; meaning spiritually and emotionally.

I wrapped my arms so strongly and lovingly around my sister in the dream and took her away from him, that I have never felt that type of enveloping energy come from within me since. To this day, I feel that way about all humans who are preyed on by monstrous energy. It’s mother dragon energy like Dany in Game of Thrones.

dany-drogon

I took her to my home and took care of her. It was a deep, beautiful, nurturing energy that I’d forgotten over the last 10 years because we haven’t really had a relationship. She married a man that, like my father, was a predator but in this case, he was violent as well. My father wasn’t violent. Her husband threatened to kill everyone in my family and she submitted to his power threats as so many women do. When I told my mother years ago that I strongly felt she needed to flee to a safe house and file for divorce my Mom’s response was, “She can’t do that. He’ll kill those children.” More dysfunction.

So I had my sister with me. Then the dream changed and she was walking outside of an apartment building with her things and putting them on the curb. I looked at the street signs and I didn’t know where she was so I couldn’t pick her up and take her to a new place. But the most disturbing part of this was that when I saw her with her friends, she had completely changed. I didn’t know who she was anymore.

That is accurate today. Acquiescing to the abuse of my Dad and then her husband changed her personality and her soul and I didn’t know who she was anymore. It was a wrenching dream and one for which I had genuine tears. Add to that that I am not allowed a relationship with my three nieces and nephews because of it.

I was going to call my Mom and talk to her but synchronistically realized when I woke up that my Mom and her mate were out there visiting them. Now, what was this about? I knew my Mom would call me and she did, that same day, and I knew something was wrong. I answered her call and before she could tell me anything I told her my dream and she said, “Well, that’s spot on because here is what’s happening.”

The short of it is, I had picked up on my younger sister pulling on me spiritually and emotionally for real because she was going through the wringer. I even called her yesterday to let her know I was there for her. I haven’t heard from her and don’t imagine I will. As in my dream, she cut me off long ago to merge with the dark side of male predation as so many women do instead of claiming their own power to run their lives and stand in the light of personal power. It’s not easy even in 2019.

In 3D, her daughter, my niece, is spilling the beans to my Aunt about some trauma and it’s shaking loose the family dysfunction. I doubt I’ll be much of a part of any of this drama because I let go of all my family drama 25 years ago and have been on a spiritual journey of independent empowerment every since. That’s what happens when you leave behind your family dysfunction, I’m happy to say.

However, I love my sister and the rest of my family and it will never cease to affect me that they continue to let others hurt them instead of loving themselves and then turn around and hurt their own children and the rest of the people around them. Then the karma starts to build up for them. It defines toxic relationships. Sometimes, you have to bless and release so that you can continue to be of service with your own gifts while you have time on the planet. That’s what I’ve done. But I still have these dreams happen over which I have no control. I just live with knowing things pretty much all the time. The truth is good in a world full of lies.

Famished


Ciron-the-centaurI am so dull at the specter of rapacious male lust that is overfull and never sated.

Colossus centaur in his superhero fantasy, piggish and greedy for huge breasts and a river of pussy.

It’s just food to him…her body. Just…a meal to gratify his insatiate greed…unless he loves her.

He can turn into a freak devil that does the same thing with hollow power…unless he loves her.

Even if she wanted to she couldn’t fill his black hole of need. A surfeit of money, accolade, ambition, and respect is a snack, but he is not yet a muscle-bound giant so the bloody feast must rage on.

He doesn’t know anything divergent, no other way to prevail, so it’s not something to be rabid about. As a male, every single institution has indoctrinated him to dominate and be a consumer who overfills his barbarian, carnivorous soul. He wasn’t born this way, it’s calculated so he can be of maximum use in the machine with very large teeth.

As a woman, every single institution from her birth has taught her that it’s a handicraft to feed his hungry lost soul, that he cannot feed himself, that he needs to be fed by everything she is, can do or possess because he is barren. Is he really barren of love?

The truth is…he has it all because woman indulged him and gave him her vitality. She didn’t have to! She still does long to give him all of her allegiances and not be loved in return. Why? It’s her undoing. It’s calculated so she can be of maximum use in the machine with very large teeth.

He thinks it’s control from her because he feels dependent and hungry, controlled by his edacious body or the cruel vacuum of his mother’s love. And it’s not just the food he needs, its flavor. He’ll even go to another planet to consume what they have, trying to find a novel flavor. Why does she feel sorry for his empty belly that covers an unrequited heart? He has a heart. We know it.

I’m one of the trifling women that knows you have excitability that lasts beyond a hook-up. The thing about me though…is I don’t particularly care. If you don’t want me, I’ll start to forget about you. Out of sight out of mind!

Men are cursed nomads, wandering the earth without love in them or loving anyone outside of themselves until they really…do…let themselves receive the gift of loving a woman that is not his mother! and need to be with her. It’s totally up to him. All a woman does is exist as she is. She has no control over his choice…at all.

A woman is always complete in herself, fed, not famished, all by herself. But a man is not. His insatiable lust and thirst that calls forth our pity really, will never be quenched until he lets himself be with her completely. A woman needs to have compassion on his need and fall into his arms if he is unrelenting. And yes, she is feeding him, once again.

A man is truly healed and made happy by truly loving a woman, not so much by her loving him because she loves all the time! That is her gift to herself. Because she exists…he found her and he learns to love. That is the greatest gift a man can have and then he’s no longer famished.

Lisa T. 1/4/2019

 

 

Male Sexual Fantasy…that’s how you bond?


 

you've got to be kidding meMore information is hitting me today via my intuition about certain men I know and their behavior. I’ve been trying to figure out how men’s minds work for years now and never gave it much thought when I was younger and had no brothers so now I’m playing catch up. I know you’re more simple than us and I don’t need the lecture that I’m over-thinking.

There are two local men I know (in my town) that I’m sure are in love with me to whom I have zero interest or attraction. I know that sounds harsh, but I’m pretty sure guys are the same way. Some women get your motor running, other’s don’t, even if you “try” to give them a chance. These two men are like a dog with a bone simply based on the fact that several years ago I was nice or warm to both of them. (Please refer to my blog post “Warmth from a woman doesn’t mean she’s attracted to you.”). Also, the attraction over social media or the phone is absolutely bizarre to me. You can’t know any truth that way. Again, it’s just for male fantasy gratification and does nothing for the woman. But that doesn’t matter, does it? Just know that if you don’t actually meet a woman, she will drop you like a hot potato fairly quickly.

So, as I was eating my salad and soda crackers just now it hit me. Men’s minds are based on the fantasy of a woman he’s met or has talked to, not fact. Men’s minds form emotional, sexual fantasies based on projection and his own weaving of fantasy that he wants to believe. He also will project his own image via social media and when you meet him, he won’t necessarily look that way. That’s happened to me too. It’s not that we’re biased about the way you look, it’s that you lied and misled us. That’s going to get you in a heap of trouble guys.

I and every woman I know, are very rational about relationships and men. We look for certain hygiene, clothing, behavior, and financial facts, communication that absolutely tell us whether to let our motor run for you or not. We can control all of that. Yes, we do control all of that, like we’re shopping. I’m not saying that smell, pheromones, looks and such aren’t involved because they are at a very primal level. So yes, women say, “God he has a perfect booty.” and get all lusty, or “He’s super sweet and smart” but not the way men do. Every woman is different but it is never based on GQ crap…ever. However, if his tone of voice with us or the way he acts is vile, that fine booty counts for nothing, nada, zip, zero. We fall in love with the person and the potential for bonding, not your body. That’s how our brains work.

Why is that? Because our arousal is based on your vibe, whether you know us or not, whether you want to know us or not, our feelings, our relationship. You’re falling asleep already reading this and because of that, more women are going to be celibate. We can do that too.

graceful-girl-smilingDo you know how easy this face is to fake for women? More women have just given in to a man’s lust who cannot stop staring at and fantasizing about our breasts or pussy and cannot focus or hold a conversation. We’re like, “For god’s sake, listen to me.” No, you can’t listen to us if you’re staring at our lips or crotch and we know it.  and motivation, Millions of women make quite a bit of money taking advantage of men’s lack of sophistication when it comes to human relationship mostly through prostitution. You’ve set yourselves up! Improve your intelligence and this won’t happen.

So, you guys are completely irrational about any prospects of truly arousing us or knowing us or bonding because relationships aren’t even on your radar. Or to be fair, maybe you don’t “have” the radar. I am trying to be fair. I don’t think relationship and understanding female behavior is in your wiring and I’m done being mad about it. It’s simple. We need love, affection, and kindness in addition to sex.

This is tragic for women who then fake orgasm or does whatever we have to do for ourselves to enjoy our bodies because our culture has men completely brainwashed to believe that your penis is everything and all we need. That is SO wrong it isn’t even funny. I’ve been with men of all different “sizes”, body size and all the other pieces and it has not mattered one iota whether I was turned on or not. There are specific things that do matter but that’s for another blog. Every woman is different! And what is worse is there are millions of women out there who have given up and just let the man’s fantasies and his penis focus control her love life believing that you will NEVER be astute enough to get our sexuality and how we love.

I have not given up hope yet, but applying some rational fact and getting a handle on those sexual fantasy feelings will be a big step forward.

I welcome any questions. If you think I’m off on something, feel free to call me out but do so in a civil manner, please. I don’t have all the answers and I know I’m not always right.

 

Women Attach Through Sex and Men Attach Through Emotional Bond


boy-and-girl-engage-in-yoga-on-the-nature-a-man-and-a-woman-meditating-in-the-mountains-people-relax-at-sunset_hkmosmfrx_thumbnail-full01

My intuition did a whammy on me last week and I sat on this for that long.

Women attach through sex/physical attention and men attach through emotional bond!” Ironic isn’t it?

You probably read that title and said, “Ok, we know that about women but men?” No one talks about men getting all warm and fuzzy and emotionally attached to a woman just because of her vibe, how she moves or how she talks and walks. It’s in all the songs they sing though. Men pine much more deeply for a woman than a woman will ever pine for a man and they’ve told me that they have an issue with that! Women, on the other hand, tell me how imperfect a man has been, how she’s rejected him and that he screwed up. The men I know NEVER tell me that about a woman. The men are adoring of their mate. Think about it. Men are far more emotionally rejected than we are just because they don’t act like women or love the way we do. How could they? They don’t make human beings in their bodies!

Men are very insecure about this state of things and men feel deeply when they fall in love with a woman. The big news for women is, THE REASON THEY FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU IS RARELY, IF EVER, TO DO WITH YOUR OBJECTIVE APPEARANCE OR BEAUTY BY MEDIA STANDARDS. IT HAS TO DO WITH WHO YOU ARE AS A PERSON, how they feel around you, whether they feel they can talk to you and your general vibe.

Now I will explain what I figured out via my intuition last week. I’ll start with women. Women, imagine how easy and normal it is for you to talk, commune, flirt, hug, be warm and smiley with all the women you know. We do that so easily with each other, even if we’re strangers. I certainly do. We “do” relationship all the time with other women. Not so much with men and here’s why.

Sex. Men find sex to be easy and natural and if civilization hadn’t pulled a whammy on them and judged them for being so sexy and natural they’d probably have sex all the time. Civilization has curbed men in terms of their nature much more than it has women. I’m not saying men find it easy to have sex with other men naturally but the boys club is real. They manage to bond and do things with each other in other ways like sports and such that make up for not having sex with each other. And sometimes, as we know, they do have sex with each other. But think of that. Being gay is much more acceptable for women than it is for men. Why is that? Civilization is set up so that when a woman has her fondest wish, a child, the man is there to be a father for the child’s sake, or at least society has told him he’s supposed to be. If he’s not, society has plenty of punishments for him.

Back to women; the ease with which we have a relationship and find it fine and natural is the ease with which men find sex with others; women or men fine and natural. It’s superficial! Men find sex superficial and normal just as women find relating to others to be superficial and normal. It’s just part of life. Some are close, some aren’t. Women should know that when men see us relating so easily and happily with other women and men, they get anxious about what we’re up to. They don’t know that it’s superficial for us and we’re just being friendly. I don’t think they’ll admit this though.

For women; put sex in the mix with relating to a man and the woman is pulled off of her center. Not only because our physical energy is super responsive to sex but because it’s always a possibility that we could get pregnant. Sex is a big deal to us on many levels.

Put a relationship in the mix for a man when he’s relating to a woman and he’s pulled off of his center because he doesn’t have much natural skill in it. What men do is tease, tickle, jostle, nudge, compete, get a little jealous and criticize some when he has feelings for a woman that he’s a bit uncomfortable with. Take that as a cue women. He likely has a crush on you. Don’t lead him on if you don’t have a crush on him. If you think he may really care about you and you him, it’s a mistake to rush into sex. The other bonding needs to happen first in my opinion.

What is the remedy here? First, accept that men and women are naturally different from one another and don’t diss and neg on each other saying, “All he wants is sex or all she wants is a relationship.” The OPPOSITE is the truth. Again, I’ve surveyed people in my office for twenty years. Women talk about sex with men and it means a tremendous amount to us to be attended to physically and wanted sexually and to check out the chemistry. Sex will never be superficial to us. A woman who is superficial with sex or playing in the porn arena is up to something that is not good for men. I think it’s selfish on her part. She gets all kinds of sex and gives no care or relationship.

It’s ironic to me that we view men as being so awful to women right now when the fact that the porn industry exists and so many men (and women) are addicted to it shows that there are millions of women out there who hate men, don’t believe they have feelings and don’t care about their feelings or needs. But, it’s taboo for men to express what they need emotionally, isn’t it? Undoing that, women raising their sons to express their feelings and encouraging their daughters to physically love themselves will start to bring gender equity.

Male Intuition and the Sacred Masculine


I feel like apologizing for always blogging on the feminine intuition, feminist issues and the need for women to empower themselves in the midst of the patriarchal paradigm by using their intuition. But I’m not going to because…I’m a woman! I don’t have a man’s perspective on what it means to be a man right now in the patriarchal system.  What I do know is there is still a tremendous amount of unequal power for both men and women, Guys have rough patches too but I’m not sure they know how to express it as well as women. We have the communication advantage in our brains.

Nevertheless, I had a very significant dream last night that is leading me to blog on this difficult topic.  It does segue into the Twin Flame phenomenon too because the Twin Flame journey is all about spiritual ascension or spiritual maturing for both parties. It doesn’t have to be heterosexual but in my case it is.

I remember the details of what I was dreaming most of the night and it was run of the mill, nothing exciting; just my mind letting go of habits is what I surmised. Then, a very big, black crow that seemed very real, not ethereal like the rest of the dream, showed up right next to me in my house and quickly flew away with the help of another woman shewing him away. He was pretty big and very alive. I felt no death whatsoever around this bird. He was powerful. This crow was grounded and had his own ways but I was very surprised as soon as I saw him in the house and said, “How did this crow get in here?!” The other woman knew a bird like that should not be in the house and helped me get rid of it.

Now as I’m writing, the crow felt shamanistic or deeply masculine, the cave, and the dark which in my tradition, we usually ascribe to the feminine because of the dark of the womb, the seed, the egg, gestation, the womb, and birth. Male energy is usually the light of the Mind. Everything is shifting right now on the planet and I believe this dream was a harbinger of the sacred masculine balanced with the sacred feminine coming forward. Indeed, that is what the Twin Flame journey is about. Males and females are both light and dark, yin and yang, male and female. We’ve always said that in my field but it’s never actually manifested in our institutions on this planet! That’s been the problem.

This is similar to the actual, real-life appearance of a raccoon in the open skylight on the roof of the cottage in which I was staying in California three weeks ago. He was trying to come in and I had to quickly close the skylight. Both of these animals are totems or archetypes for Blue Monkey in the Mayan System or a Trickster, creator, and mover. It is play, illusion, and magic. But Crow is also a Blue Eagle archetype which is creativity, mind, and vision. They are both Blue so they are closely related in energy. Blue kin is all about transformation. I am definitely doing that right now!

When looking at yin-yang energy, it’s easy to characterize it in a good vs. bad dichotomy. Females are valued and rewarded for being good, warm, loving, small and nurturing and are punished for being bad girls, big, strong, powerful, hypersexual and are slut-shamed. Males are valued for being aggressive (within reason depending on the context), protective, mean (also depending on the context), bad, rebellious, and rampaging anything that’s big! They are punished for being too small, fearful, wimpy, emotional, indecisive and more. These aspects are still entrenched in our system.

As we all know now, in 2018, this is B.S.! Women and men absolutely do share all of these traits and swap them around when they feel like it. God bless America! In our country, we truly do believe human beings have the right to express their true feelings and sexuality even if we don’t rock it in public yet. Everyone still has their secrets.

None of those traits are ascribed in stone to either sex anymore and those that do are so un-hip. Right? On the surface, most women and men still try to rock those boxes but we’re really not supposed to anymore and the younger generation will get in your face about it. My nineteen-year-old hates it when I classify the genders in those boxes. Yet, look at all the leading sports programs, politics, and all the television shows. Men are still very dominant and portrayed in those boxes. It’s a function of patriarchy. Women are seeping in only slowly (female sportscasters) and when they do, they have to act somewhat masculine or just are that way to be socially acceptable! The women can’t act very feminine yet. It’s taboo.

Where is the sacred masculine in all of this? The earth. The ways of nature are male and female. Whenever the natural forces of procreation are challenged, the powerful earth energy steps in. Strong drumming evokes the balance of the male/female energies in sex and alignment, equally! The earth loves her daughters and her sons equally and wants them to walk together in balance on her. It’s only humans all over the world that still prefer sons. Men who love and take care of their bodies, who honor their strong feelings and inclinations, who are creative souls and express themselves in their art, who still want to fuck with abandon and feel no shame just like the animals and the insects.

Men are men and women are women. But we are more similar than different by nature and we both can embody bad and good traits without judgment if we just loosen up those boundaries and deeply feel our bodies and drop the definitions of who we are by Church, state, and media. And we both need to love ourselves as we are.

You have to see this. Trust me, you will dig it! Just click.

Drumming Group-Very cool!

You won’t believe this woman. She is very talented and super beautiful.

Cassandra Fox Belly Dancing. Unbelievable

 

 

 

 

 

The Psychological Need to Infantalize Women in Relationships


The Infantilization of Adult, Professional Women

This article is fairly recent; 2017. My intuition tells me we may be reaching the apex of patriarchal definitions of women’s power as I’m noticing the younger women and men are not exactly absorbing the definition of roles the way we did in the hippie generation. That is to be expected and welcome. I’d rather get on to other issues in our culture but this one does not seem to be dying just yet. In addition, fertility and reproduction rates are going down which is a necessary slow down for the genders to equalize power. Nature is taking its course.

I’m experiencing this attempted “needy chick” projection onto me right now in a friendship that is almost two years old and has been a roller coaster of unstable behaviors from my friend. I’m done with this part of it now and it feels right to have stricter boundaries in place. I understand that men’s role in the world is being taken to task right now but that’s a good thing. The testosterone-induced inclination to blow stuff up and support the military is a true oppression for the planet and all the life forms that want to reproduce in peace.

While we hopefully are moving toward the end of the line here with projecting infantile behavior onto women (and men) due to dysfunctional, co-dependent programming from the home, we are still seeing;

“Ambitious women are treated with particular suspicion as if there’s something dubious and undesirable about women who pursue greatness, power, prominence, or even just success in their field. Men who compete with other men are unremarkable; male competition is the natural course of things, and given that men have long dominated electoral politics and many workplaces, competitions for power in politics or the workplace have long been male-only fights. That’s no longer the case. Now, women who pursue power, whether that’s elected office or a managerial role at work, are often competing with men, too. This co-ed competition touches on some of our deepest assumptions and biases about what women are supposed to be. It touches on some of the men’s deepest fears about what they stand to lose.”

“And so women who challenge the status quo must be put in their place. Sometimes, those women come across as so powerful and commanding that it’s tough to cast them as hapless children, and so detractors attack them for being too ambitious, suggesting that they must have gotten where they are through the stereotypical evil-female traits of deception and manipulation. These women are ball-busting bitches, cunning liars, and power-hungry harpies (see, for example, Hillary Clinton, Susan Rice, and Michelle Obama). Other times, women’s power itself is undercut, and this is where treating you like a child comes in. Often, detractors use both tactics against the same women – infantilizing them as princesses or crybabies, and also smearing them as craven or crazy (just ask Elizabeth Warren and Nancy Pelosi).”

“Women who have crossed some ever-changing threshold of what’s young enough to be considered attractive are supposed to drag their sagging carcasses off into the bushes and with dignity (or at least disappear from public view). Few things make misogynists angrier, and a lot of the public more uncomfortable, than the ones who keep talking in public anyway.”

 

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A Star Is Born Movie Review


A Star Is Born Review-Vulture

This movie is doing very well in the review department so far and is still in theatres. But I saw this last night and was left a little flat frankly. I read the review found at the link above and agreed with most of it but I’d like to add that the movie lacked timbre change. The melodrama lacked strong up and down movement which is needed on the big screen. Instead, it was incredibly real, the acting so very real that I felt like I was a voyeur looking in on the very old, moldy issue of drug addiction and showbiz. I’m over it. Are you? I don’t feel that the story of “A Star Is Born” is a story worth re-telling now that we’re leveling past the subconscious drama of family dysfunction repeated in our own adulthood. Re-telling the story just keeps it going. That, and fame and fortune aren’t all they’re cracked up to be on a personal level.

The acting, from all of the cast, is Oscar worthy. Lady Gaga’s music and singing, the songs, Grammy worthy. I agree with all of that. But the movie as a whole did not hold together for me or move me very much. It was all very predictable, maybe because it’s about the fourth remake of this story?

I adore Lady Gaga even more than I did before. She is one talented woman and her acting was great! I feel like the movie goes to her. Kudos to Cooper for his work and the rest of the cast as well but she gets my biased admiration. Girl crush sismance.

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You Might Not Be Looking For a Relationship but Doesn’t Everyone Want to Love and Be Loved?


I wonder sometimes if women and men mean, “I’m not looking to be possessed or to possess anyone.” when they say, “I don’t want a relationship.” Words are important. When it comes to attraction, the words one uses matter.

This is why marriage always ends. In truth, no one can possess anyone. We belong to ourselves. It’s plain and simple. What keeps two people near each other is affinity, attraction, same waveform, and comfort with each other. What splits two people is change. People change, grow and move. That’s nature. So, “forever marriage” isn’t realistic and more and more people realize that. It’s only good for the time that you’re reproducing. It’s forced togetherness for a time and it’s not a bad idea! After all, the parents are the creators of the subconscious mind of a child. That is real togetherness. But hopefully, the child will outgrow being controlled by his subconscious mind, into his conscious mind and everyone can move on and be free.  That’s the ideal folks. Norman Rockwell was misguided.

Love, on the other hand, is everywhere, always. Mostly, it’s in us and we can’t lose it. So as you move and grow through life, you should always be able to find someone on your frequency, someone with which you have an affinity. Suffering is not called for in this life. You’re not going to get a prize for suffering and no one is requiring it of you. That’s one of the big lies of religion. It’s kind of silly because who needs religion to experience suffering?? It’s a given on this planet, everyone goes through it, no one can escape it, and no one gets a prize for being born; except a body. That’s your prize.

I find security in myself, by being what I need every day and keeping myself organized and productive. It’s futile to find security in human beings. I’m sorry to burst everyone’s social bubble. I never saw anything so foolish in my life as pining for that. Human beings change like the weather and it’s natural! If you follow their meanderings, you’ll get lost too. It just happened to me. I sometimes forget what it’s like dealing closely with people who are not in control of their lives. It doesn’t take long for me to remember at times like this and be grateful that I’ve created what I have; a solid foundation underlying an active situation on the ground that keeps shifting.

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Bonding cont. “A House Is Not A Home”, Bill Evans, SO beautiful.


Here is a perfect example of the bonding I was talking about that tugs at everyone’s romantic heart strings.  But in the end??  I don’t know.  It is an absolutely beautiful song though…my favorite I think.

 

 

By Burt Bacharach & Hal David
A chair is still a chair
Even when there’s no one sitting there
But a chair is not a house
And a house is not a home
When there’s no one there to hold you tight
And no one there you can kiss good night
A room is still a room
Even when there’s nothing there but gloom
But a room is not a house
And a house is not a home
When the two of us are far apart
And one of us has a broken heart
Now and then I call your name
And suddenly your face appears
But it’s just a crazy game
When it ends, it ends in tears
Darling, have a heart
Don’t let one mistake keep us apart
I’m not meant to live alone
Turn this house into a home
When I climb the stairs and turn the key
Oh, please be there still in love with me
I’m not meant to live alone
Turn this house into a home
When I climb the stairs and turn the key
Oh, please be there still in love with me
Songwriters: Burt Bacharach / Hal David
A House Is Not A Home lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC