Skin


pick a tomato

Shell of a turtle, a carapace, guards your continuance of electric water, straight to your brain, pulls your vibration down in by degrees.

Your skin like a husk full of ridges on corn smells sweet,

hard to pull off at the bottom, tassel so soft on my face, the smell of earth.

Your arm was warm and pleasant as the first tomato of summer in my hungry hand.

Let me bite into that luscious fruit, so sweet and tangy

 or a mango stream of juice down my chin.

I’m distracted, clement smells from your back

Why are so sweet yet so smart and severe?

No end to touch makes my breathing peaceful.

I feel happy…oh god I’m doomed.

Indeed, it only lasted one day and you ripped your skin from me again.

At least you can’t take the memory from me.

Words can never erase actions like skin can never cover feelings.

 

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Women Feel the Need to be Like a Colorful Male Bird? Yes.


 

 

 

 

I don’t. But many women don’t like to be ignored. Kind, smiling, pretty, plain women are preferred by a husband for marriage (hurrah!) But when it comes to fun, sex, and money, because of the sexual objectification of women, men prefer novice, meanness, titillation, color, and bitchiness. Women are just actors in men’s psychodrama and it’s important for women to see that if they want to choose to lead authentic lives and play no role for anyone. Some men see women as human beings but most don’t. They can’t because we’re more human than them and rival them in a myriad of ways. That’s not something that they can psychologically handle.

In many cultures, men are free to have a wife and a mistress so they can have the status they need and basically have their cake and eat it too. Then the women can choose whichever role they prefer to play for the man as long as patriarchy continues. Women put on all the colorful makeup and clothes, along with gay men.

In nature, the males are bigger and more attractive, dance around and are colorful. The females are just…great the way they are and the colorful men pursue them and show off. I certainly see that with Bruno Mars and the Hooligans. They’re adorable to me! I don’t know what the guys think. I know quite a few women who think they are some fancy birds dancing around and showing their stuff. Most females do love it. That is nature.

But I wonder why our society is topsy turvy, where the women feel the pressure to be colorful; LIKE MEN? I shunned public performance because I’m very feminine and come across shy. I’m not shy with a man one on one…at all. But my nature is female! Why would I want to draw a ton of attention to myself? I do get courted by men but not men that I like. That’s troublesome. It’s because I don’t strut myself like a male bird.

I notice the women on the news are expected to be very aggressive in their tone of voice and buff. Patriarchy essentially means men want men because they feel they are superior to women. Women are viewed as defective by men that cling to patriarchal misogyny…and football. Many men don’t, I know. So women are only desirable if they’re more like a man. That means the man is essentially homosexual. I’ve never heard anyone suggest that but I see it. He prefers males or women that are aggressive or bitchy. Gag me. That’s the alpha way and obviously, I’m beta. No alpha man has ever pursued me and won’t. Good!

Just throwin’ this out there. Women who succeed in public are either very assertive, aggressive or a lesbian. IN NATURE, that is a preponderance of testosterone which is alpha male. Beta women that don’t want to act like a guy are ignored, except by the beta males who are trolls, nerd, artists, and freaks (women are all of that too). It now suggests the issue of alpha vs. beta. I believe our society is moving toward the rise of the Betas.

Compromise With a Partner You Value


 

man and woman talkingThere is much talk lately about never sacrificing yourself in an intimate relationship with a lover or a partner. I agree that it never works to lie or to give up so much of your time and what you want and need to do with your body and energy that you become very unhappy.

I’m single, dating, totally getting healthy and feeling my goddess core after having been to hell and back with men and babies dying; four all together. I have a wonderful son who is twenty. He’s a fabulous man and trying to figure it out as we all did at twenty. As I look for a new partner at the age of fifty-six the landscape and reason for mating is completely different and has completely changed. The younger men don’t even hesitate now to let me know of their interest and I actually really like younger men…as lovers and friends. They are far more open-minded and less biased. But as a mate? I’m truly leaning toward someone my age so that we can support and understand one another.

It seems to me that mating is now more about friendship, cooperation, and helping one another for the second half of our lives. The libido is there and there has to be an attraction but in no way is sex the same because I can’t get pregnant. It’s a big deal and huge incentive to stay mobile, hip, and sexy. As you age you really do need more help, more muscle, and a helpmate for different reasons instead of raising children.

However, there is a big difference now between giving something up of my single life habits in middle age and the sacrifice for my family in my youth. You realize this might be your last hurrah with mating love; real love; not love based on societal marriage and children which is based on family norms and proscribed roles. Love in middle age is completely free. No one has to approve of you because you’re going to have children together.  You’re not going to merge immediate families necessarily. You can if you want, I suppose just out of habit, but there is no obligation to. It doesn’t matter what anyone thinks; at all. There are no expectations on any front because you don’t share DNA with children.

When you value someone’s presence in your life, you let go of a habit or activity and compromise because you want to not because you have to. So there is no more sacrifice. It can be unconditional love. The fact of the matter is, when you have a spouse and children, you HAVE to do certain things. There is no choice whether you like it or not. Honestly, becoming a parent does require sacrifice which is very worth it, is extremely hard but it ends and many people are left alone in their house. Some people hate it. I love it! I really enjoyed having a family but I love my own life too and have been pondering whether I’d want to give up pieces of it for a new mate.

I’d be willing to adjust if I really loved and valued my partner and knew that we were reciprocating. There is no way I’d fall into my old role of jumping when he needed me, jumping when my son needed me, cooking when they’re hungry. Nope. Once in a while, I might but not if I don’t feel like it. There would also be much more space in our togetherness because you really do treasure your alone time after you’ve had a family. The quiet is really priceless.

What is Your Lilith Placement?


This is actually pretty interesting. I woke up obsessed with the Lilith point position in my solar chart. I must have dreamt about it. Our solar charts are limited with regard to our destiny and personality because they only take into account 4D solar positions of where we are each positioned in this Matrix of ours.  When I do Intuitive readings for people, I only glance, not study their solar natal chart and their Tzolkinkonic line-up in the Mayan multidimensional alignments as well. Those are the destiny patterns. Now the context of what I see intuitively for the individual is in a universal context.

I’ve been working this way for years and it’s not hard to work up a chart. It does take time though and I offer it as a service. That said, there STILL is NO CONTROL or overstep by those alignments over your free will, your mindset, and heart set. So when I look at a person intuitively, I literally see what they’re creating right now, what could be coming pretty soon and bit further down the line. However, that can change if you change yourself in a big way.

The thing is, most of us don’t change in a big way as we go through life. It’s all usually gradual. That is the healthy way to be because our brain and body like equilibrium. Every health care practitioner will tell you that. Consequently, people who are drawn to extreme swings of behavior or health regimens are usually judged handily. That’s not fair. Sure, they may die sooner than rest of us but if that’s fun for them and makes life worth living, let them be. However, don’t follow their lead! It’s not for everyone. Personally, I’m better SAFE than SORRY!

Now we get to what I’ve been blogging on. Men and relationships, dating and sex boundaries. In walks Lilith, the dark of the moon who is often envisioned as a dangerous demon of the night, who is sexually wanton, and who steals babies in the darkness. Lilith may be linked in part to a historically earlier class of female demons in ancient Mesopotamian religion, found in cuneiform texts of Sumer, the Akkadian Empire, Assyria, and Babylonia. She was mythologically Adam’s first wife made of clay, just like him, not from his rib as Eve was. Again, this is all fictional, a character likely made up by the Jewish priests who needed a twist on Eve. Her name really means Night.

Dark Lilith

I think she’s a little Hollywood Blvd. or everyone dressed in black in Greenwich Village in New York. It’s kind of immature but there are many women that are into this. I personally wouldn’t mess with this energy. That said, one interpretation of my chart says I need to face my inner night, my lack of balance that is my Lilith in Libra.

White Lilith

There is another whitewashed version of her that is a little Victorian. But many women take to this one as well. I can’t relate to this one either. I know many women who can and do though. My family takes after this one.

The Lilith placement in the solar chart is about your resistance in this life. What are you ashamed of, what do you struggle with, what do you need to rampage? Having confidence in yourself? Taking care of your body? We all know that we need struggle to grow, like a seed germinating in its pod underground. There has to be some adversity, a freeze, to stimulate its DNA to push up out of the dark soil toward the sun. The human soul is exactly the same way. To that end, google “Calculate my Lilith in my natal chart” to find out. Then there are many sites that interpret it. As you might guess, my Lilith in Libra has everything to do with the balance of power with men and it is a huge issue for me. Apparently, the blindfold on the goddess Justice is idealistic. It doesn’t exactly work that way.

I am a lightworker, but in what ways do I need to see my dark pieces? It’s a valid question because we all have vices amidst our virtues. I prefer the picture below as it indicates the wisdom and animal totem of owl, birds, night time, and the full moon. Those things are all good and evoke the womb, the second chakra, goddess energy and what the men truly crave from women in balance during sex. I believe the balance between women and men begins with each woman truly honoring the power of her body, her light pieces, and her dark pieces. Men (and women) can help us see what those might be but we should never give them control over them.

owl_goddess Lilith

 

Insects to a Flower


bee in a flower

Is this picture a turn on or what? I seriously think it is being a nature nerd. Or maybe I just have spring fever. I think it’s awesome. Nature teaches us everything; even passion. Granted there are many changes in our culture regarding men advancing to women and women to men, but those proclivities don’t change the way nature works one iota, and the fact is, human beings are part of nature. We share the same DNA with all of the plants and animals on the planet.

I speak of the birds and the bees, the flowers, and the trees. I’m not suggesting they have to be pretty and colorful. Many things in nature are dull, ugly by most assessments, stink, and are shaped very oddly. The same goes for humans. Like attracts like. That’s cool! Pretty can be boring! These days, men and women marry “pretty” for status but lust after ugly. I’m pretty sure that’s what Zoosk is about.

One thing seems to stick though. After the to and fro, bee buzzing around the flower, the bee decides to go to one flower, to go in and focus instead of staying outside and buzzing around. The flower doesn’t chase the bee. The flower just IS who she is and draws or attracts the insects to her. The flowers are the females and the men the insects. However, the paradigm can shift where the male will pose as the flower (a queen) to attract weak, female insects to buzz around him. Nature does the homosexual thing too sometimes but infrequently.

If you’re straight, want to mate and reproduce naturally, women, don’t chase; attract by being fully, naturally who you are. Your vibe of loving yourself or whatever your vibe is will attract that kind of man to you. If you’re confused about why you attract certain types, look in the mirror at your character, how you feel and act, what you like or don’t like about yourself. Then that all comes to the surface in your looks and body. You can’t cover your vibe with a fake smile, makeup, hair, and clothes. Be yourself.

I’ve been attracting strong, cut, fit, confident men who are a bit braggy but just above average intelligence because I’m cultivating those traits in myself. Twenty years ago I was attracting autistic, over the top, brilliant rebellious, anti-social men because I was sitting in my traits that are the same. I’ve had enough of that and they both died of bad health from stress on this planet that is absolutely intolerant of brilliance. We live in a society where mediocre to low intelligence and talent makes everyone feel comfy. So people that are very smart can’t talk a lot or we’re attacked. We can write though. Not that anyone will read it, but who knows. I’m just being myself too.

Keep in mind that like trees, flowers have roots but they don’t really stand still. They are not passive. They keep changing shape, moving, the roots communicate to one another and they migrate as seeds, tubers, or corms. It’s just that when they’re above ground socializing with the insects of the air, it appears differently. Nevertheless, they never chase. The bees chase and then move on to the next flower.

Hopefully, we’re past insect and flower stage but it’s obvious that some of that flirting and hooking-up are still around. I hate it. In that way, humans have moved up the food chain like other animals who do mate for long periods of time or for life. Many animal groups do that, thankfully.

To be more clear on how you present on the dating scene a man could ask, “Am I like an…”

1. insect

2. bird

3. Mammal

4. Human

5. Alien mutant or

6. Lightworker lover

Women;

1. Flower

2. Tree

3. Bird

4. Mammal

5. Human

6. Alien mutant

7. Lightworker lover

Then date someone on your level.

This is A Big Deal


Storm and Peace

This issue of a storm and peace is pivotal. First of all, don’t pull anyone anywhere for any reason. You are who you are and feel what you feel and they are who they are and feel what they feel. Either that meshes and flows or it doesn’t. You may have to go your own ways.

My intuition and yours also can tell what the deal is especially between men and women.

Men are a storm because of their testosterone and they should NOT be expected to change when that is the way their bodies are. Women are peace because of estrogen and they should not be expected to change when that is the way our bodies are. Aggressive women these days have become that way because they’ve been expected to “fit in with the guys” in order to survive patriarchy when we don’t have the apparatus or hormones! This issue has really affected my health living with men that I loved dearly including my son. All the studies back me up. Women’s health declines living with a man and man’s health improves. It’s completely unlevel.

You guys are stressful because of your testosterone! And then you act like we should have more testosterone to be more like you! Some women are up to the task of becoming bitches and fighting and whipping ya’ll and each other and many do but I’m not. In no way am I called to fight, wrangle, and collar a man, control him, boss him, and expend all my energy on his high maintenance dramatic self. I literally don’t have it in my body and it’s not my calling on the planet. That’s why I’ve never wanted to be married. I took one look at how men operate as a young girl and I’m like, “Ummm, no. Why would any kindly, intelligent woman want to live with a man?”

I’ve said this before, it’s not that I don’t adore men and I am very attracted to them. I adore men as species and I’ve loved a few but I knew I couldn’t live with a man in my youth. Young men, fertile age, with a woman, fertile age, is like hell to me. Now that I’m older, I see men’s testosterone drop which is SUPER FINE for a female like me. They are calmer, don’t stomp around or want to eat and have sex all the time. Oh, thank god. I’m actually hoping maybe I can live with a man now that I’m older.

This placard could read, “Women, don’t let men pull you into their testosterone storm. Men, don’t let women pull you into their estrogen peace. (or kill your manhood)” A woman will read that and say, “Are you crazy? They need to calm down.” Sorry girlfriend, I don’t want a gay man or one that’s too domesticated. I like a man with plenty of testosterone. That doesn’t mean I can live with him though.

The Feminine Word Equivalent to the Masculine Word, “Emasculate”


It’s time for this conversation.  So the first emotional, resistant response from blogger “Anonymous”: on here was this;

Was hoping to find an answer to an interesting quirk of language, but instead found a rambling, borderline nonsensical Feminist rant about gender roles.

I’ll do you a favor; TL; Dr. Is there a female equivalent to the word ’emasculate’? Answer, No.”

 

He says he’s doing me a favor with this hateful reply.  What do you think? So, here we have one confirmation of a male who cannot fathom being equal with a good woman. At least he put some emotion into it, but he made quite a few spelling mistakes.

The word emasculates, as we all know, means to deprive a man of his male role or identity.  Strong, justice-oriented women who have self-esteem and know their power are ridiculed for doing this to men, no matter what the men have done to women.  They can do whatever they want to women and she’s supposed to take it and not ask for respect?  Sounds like a Christian, Republican, Trump voter. Most men, I don’t believe, are like this, but many are.

What would be the word for depriving a woman of her female role or identity?  Below, the word “defeminate” is suggested but I don’t believe it’s caught on.  It doesn’t really roll off the tongue, no sexual suggestion intended.  This word actually sounds similar to defemate.

Dr. Mary Stopes described here in Margaret Jackson’s The Real Facts of Life: Feminism and the Politics of Sexuality, c1850-1940:

enter image description here

What about “efeminate”?  This word is more of a direct correlation with the word “emasculate”.

Well, we can banter about “defeminate” or “efeminate” or take a poll. The real work will be to define what it means to deprive a woman of her female role?  My visceral response to this, which I feel is realistic, is that women don’t have “a role”.  Women have advanced so far, because of our choices and willingness to work for it, that it is common knowledge that we can be whatever we want to be and do whatever we want to do, or not do!  Every woman’s personality is different as well, so how she expresses her femininity is unique.

There is very little social pressure on women anymore to be married or to be mothers. That said, I see that the instinct is still there in our bodies which can cause a lot of conflict with our minds.  It is entirely socially acceptable for a woman to have her own property, money, job and no family.  Maybe she just has a job and friends and has casual sexual relations with men and women!  No one cares anymore.  It’s just important to honor yourself and be healthy and happy.

Feminism and women’s liberation has brought us to this point.  If a woman has her life organized and has money, she can hire a handy male or female to do whatever work she needs to be done around her house; yard work, snow blowing, construction, painting, you name it.  If she’s intelligent, why would she waste her time doing work that she can pay someone else to do who is good at it!  She has her own work to do in her quiet, clean house that does not have a man stomping around, causing a ruckus, watching sports, and being noisy and disrespectful.  She is no one’s territory. She belongs to herself and her spiritual life.

The way I see it is, men with their polyamorous proclivities, innately wired into their brains to sleep with as many women as they can and get an ego brush from making as many women scream as they can, have whored themselves for millennia now.  They don’t seem to be interested in Love or Bonding which has secured life for women and children for millennia as well.  Love and Bonding are our bedrock.  Many men can’t feel it nor do they operate that way.  Sure, the man may feign loyalty, get married, put a ring on the fourth finger and become a father, but most women believe that it is in his nature to fuck as many women or men as he can before he dies.  It’s not his mandate to love as many women as he can before he dies or love one woman as much as he can before he dies. There are enlightened men in the minority, but it’s not the norm.  This is despite his religious or spiritual beliefs.  Nature always trumps belief folks.  If ya gotta go, ya gotta go.  Sex is no different for men.

It is different for women.  The sexes are not equal yet.  Women understand heart and relationship, children and home, business and money, assertiveness and organization, and leadership, we are the dominant species on the planet.  Love trumps hate and usage. Love trumps whoring your body for shallow, nonbonded sex.  Love trumps patriarchal objectification of women.  Love and bonding trump superficial sex just for an orgasm. Friendship is the highest bond there is.  Spirituality with Love, during sex, trumps giving it away with no bonding.  When most men find out that a woman loves herself this much, and they can’t measure up, they’re out the door for the next porn flick or booty call because they’re not willing to be a good student and eventually love in reciprocation.

If a user male somehow manipulates that love from us, there will be righteous indignation completely justified. Our bodies and our souls embody Love.  This is a huge planetary reality that weaves throughout nature.  Women’s bodies are synced with the Earth, Moon, and stars.  We can be no other way.  If a man wants to learn the way of all flesh on Earth, he will listen to and follow the woman and attempt to raise himself up to be her equal.  Women have raised their minds up, why can’t men raise their bodies up?  In return, she will love him with loyalty and adoration.  That’s the best thing he’ll ever be able to achieve in this life.  I know it’s just an ideal.  It’s not really happening.

The day men help us instead of hinder us caused by making more mess and noise on the planet is the day there is more peace on earth.  But they don’t like peace.  They like to blow stuff up.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Elemental


 

Paige Bradley, Sculptor

Paige Bradley-spring

Woman… fire in chains walking through mans’ ice storm.

There is barely anywhere for us to rest on pliable earth, caressed by dew-kissed grass and flowers and visited by genial insects and creatures.

Man is a covetous, territorial beast, contemplating a meal, food for his belly, something to drink, and metal coins, hardware and paper and food from the earth; animals and fruit. They come from her blistering fires too from which he creates.

He craves the warmth of her fire that never dulls and memory of the Sun before the ice came to steal human souls.

Suspicious of her, he does not understand nor can he control her unless…he loves. Her fire can melt or burn and he only steals some warmth for a short time.

A man who loves is a magnificent animal, one that knows no limits and has unbounded strength. He has the strength of the earth, turned from ice and the sun combined because he is the seed willing to lose its cover in order to allow Life.

He willingly takes her to him, feasts, shares, adores and provides a safe place for her fertile ground to grow the eternal seeds she holds from before the time of The Dragon. She holds them still.

But he cannot stay next to her for long or he will melt.

He tries and survival beckons his traverse, summoned by a great dirge of possible conquest and the illusions of mind and heart that he believes are real because his core does not yet burn with equable insight.

Frozen, halcyon outsight of a gelid wasteland is still his birthright.

The feracious earth was given to her as a prolific garden and she waits yet for his icy heart to warm the arable soil for her so she can grow the fruit of breakable man in virile beauty, not in frozen, acrid death and blood.

He is…breakable because he is mortal! The seed must be broken in the soil to become eternal!

She is still in unyielding chains, unloved, unprotected, terribly alone in her vital fire that cannot be momentarily extinguished.

The Sun gave birth to the earth, to ice, to Time and its incessant movement will not cease.

The erudite Magician has given him the wand with which to channel her calescent magic because her heat increases.

Time must move forward but the dextrous tools of man can only thrive if they are forged with the luminosity of her body, to tend the garden of the Earth.

It may lie fallow and untended unless the fire that man discovered can be born in him by tending to her heat. Then he will remain.

Until then he will die, just as he was born.

Lisa Townsend-written on February 17, 2018

 

 

Women Attach Through Sex and Men Attach Through Emotional Bond


boy-and-girl-engage-in-yoga-on-the-nature-a-man-and-a-woman-meditating-in-the-mountains-people-relax-at-sunset_hkmosmfrx_thumbnail-full01

My intuition did a whammy on me last week and I sat on this for that long.

Women attach through sex/physical attention and men attach through emotional bond!” Ironic isn’t it?

You probably read that title and said, “Ok, we know that about women but men?” No one talks about men getting all warm and fuzzy and emotionally attached to a woman just because of her vibe, how she moves or how she talks and walks. It’s in all the songs they sing though. Men pine much more deeply for a woman than a woman will ever pine for a man and they’ve told me that they have an issue with that! Women, on the other hand, tell me how imperfect a man has been, how she’s rejected him and that he screwed up. The men I know NEVER tell me that about a woman. The men are adoring of their mate. Think about it. Men are far more emotionally rejected than we are just because they don’t act like women or love the way we do. How could they? They don’t make human beings in their bodies!

Men are very insecure about this state of things and men feel deeply when they fall in love with a woman. The big news for women is, THE REASON THEY FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU IS RARELY, IF EVER, TO DO WITH YOUR OBJECTIVE APPEARANCE OR BEAUTY BY MEDIA STANDARDS. IT HAS TO DO WITH WHO YOU ARE AS A PERSON, how they feel around you, whether they feel they can talk to you and your general vibe.

Now I will explain what I figured out via my intuition last week. I’ll start with women. Women, imagine how easy and normal it is for you to talk, commune, flirt, hug, be warm and smiley with all the women you know. We do that so easily with each other, even if we’re strangers. I certainly do. We “do” relationship all the time with other women. Not so much with men and here’s why.

Sex. Men find sex to be easy and natural and if civilization hadn’t pulled a whammy on them and judged them for being so sexy and natural they’d probably have sex all the time. Civilization has curbed men in terms of their nature much more than it has women. I’m not saying men find it easy to have sex with other men naturally but the boys club is real. They manage to bond and do things with each other in other ways like sports and such that make up for not having sex with each other. And sometimes, as we know, they do have sex with each other. But think of that. Being gay is much more acceptable for women than it is for men. Why is that? Civilization is set up so that when a woman has her fondest wish, a child, the man is there to be a father for the child’s sake, or at least society has told him he’s supposed to be. If he’s not, society has plenty of punishments for him.

Back to women; the ease with which we have a relationship and find it fine and natural is the ease with which men find sex with others; women or men fine and natural. It’s superficial! Men find sex superficial and normal just as women find relating to others to be superficial and normal. It’s just part of life. Some are close, some aren’t. Women should know that when men see us relating so easily and happily with other women and men, they get anxious about what we’re up to. They don’t know that it’s superficial for us and we’re just being friendly. I don’t think they’ll admit this though.

For women; put sex in the mix with relating to a man and the woman is pulled off of her center. Not only because our physical energy is super responsive to sex but because it’s always a possibility that we could get pregnant. Sex is a big deal to us on many levels.

Put a relationship in the mix for a man when he’s relating to a woman and he’s pulled off of his center because he doesn’t have much natural skill in it. What men do is tease, tickle, jostle, nudge, compete, get a little jealous and criticize some when he has feelings for a woman that he’s a bit uncomfortable with. Take that as a cue women. He likely has a crush on you. Don’t lead him on if you don’t have a crush on him. If you think he may really care about you and you him, it’s a mistake to rush into sex. The other bonding needs to happen first in my opinion.

What is the remedy here? First, accept that men and women are naturally different from one another and don’t diss and neg on each other saying, “All he wants is sex or all she wants is a relationship.” The OPPOSITE is the truth. Again, I’ve surveyed people in my office for twenty years. Women talk about sex with men and it means a tremendous amount to us to be attended to physically and wanted sexually and to check out the chemistry. Sex will never be superficial to us. A woman who is superficial with sex or playing in the porn arena is up to something that is not good for men. I think it’s selfish on her part. She gets all kinds of sex and gives no care or relationship.

It’s ironic to me that we view men as being so awful to women right now when the fact that the porn industry exists and so many men (and women) are addicted to it shows that there are millions of women out there who hate men, don’t believe they have feelings and don’t care about their feelings or needs. But, it’s taboo for men to express what they need emotionally, isn’t it? Undoing that, women raising their sons to express their feelings and encouraging their daughters to physically love themselves will start to bring gender equity.

10 Reasons It’s Hard For Smart Women To Find Love


Finding love is not an easy feat for anyone. If you are a woman who is of a higher intellect, chances are you have had an even harder time finding a fulfilling relationship. Society tends to think less of a woman who is single as if there is something inherently wrong with them. This is definitely not the case. Below are 10 reasons why it can be harder for smart women to find love.

1. They aren’t afraid to be by themselves.

Smart women know what they want and aren’t willing to settle for anything less. They know the importance of staying true to themselves and they also realize that sacrificing their needs for the sake of love with the wrong person will only cause resentment in the long run. They do not have to settle out of fear of being alone, or fear of social implications by others’ who do not understand a woman’s ability to be by herself and be happy.

2. They know what they want.

Every woman has a mental “checklist” of what they are looking for in a significant other. A smart woman’s checklist tends to be either longer or more specific than those who want a significant other, just to have a significant other. They know themselves and in turn, know what type of person they can and can’t be with.

3. They don’t need another person to facilitate their lifestyle.

The past portrays that women needed to go straight from their father’s house to their husband’s. In the modern world women no longer need another person to help them live on their own; they may have realized they prefer that alone time. Therefore, knowing that they will eventually have to share that space can be scary for an independent woman.

4. They have other commitments that take priority over dating.

Careers, friendships, family, extra-curricular pursuits, whatever it is that she has going on may not allow for as much time to date as it takes to find the right mate.

5. They are hyper-aware that relationships end and can let their knowledge of the past affect their future potential relationships.

They have a harder time “living in the moment” and do not want to waste their time; as time truly is a valuable asset to a smart woman. They need to know that there is a future and that their potential mate is on the same page.  Marriages, kids, finances, etc.

6. They know that attraction is only half the battle.

Physical attraction is an important aspect of finding love, but smart women understand that attraction is fleeting and can be altered once you see what is underneath.  While a woman’s hormones tend to make the first step towards finding love, smart women understand that it is the intimacy developed (and maintained) by both people that dictate whether or not a relationship can last.

7. They can be intimidating.

When a woman is intelligent she isn’t afraid to stand up and say what she thinks. This is a hard pill for a lot of people to swallow. Whether it’s because they don’t know how to react, or if it’s because they don’t feel they can live up to her expectations; either way, it can be somewhat intimidating for potential lovers and even friends.

8. They understand Change.

They don’t pretend that they, and their partners, will be the same person years down the road. They want to grow and they have ambitions for their futures that will change who they are, and ultimately, what they want. Knowing this makes it harder for a woman to commit to a partner for a long period of time.

9. They have a vast understanding of modern dating practices and don’t necessarily like, nor agree, with them.

Dating is no longer a means of survival for women. As stated before, since we no longer need to be passed from father to husband as well as we have the capability to live alone – dating is truly meant to find a companion whom you love and want to share your life, interests, and future with.

10. They know not to trust their hearts with just anyone.

This reason is the culmination of all of the ways it is harder for smart women to find love. Deciding whether someone is worthy of an intelligent woman’s heart is not an easy task and we do not take it lightly. Intelligent women have to weigh the pro’s and con’s and decide if the risk of loving another person is worth the devastation that can occur if it doesn’t work out.