Category: RELATIONSHIPS

Posted on

Re-Program; There’s a Big Difference Between a Mean Woman and an Assertive Woman with Boundaries

I hesitate to post this, but there is a big difference between a woman loyal to earth and nature and one who patterns herself after patriarchal oppression or manipulates it to get one over or power over.

Anima and animus. We are all both.

I was setting a reasonable boundary with a male patient a month ago because he’s married and keeps trying to ask me on a date and makes inappropriate comments. He said, “I didn’t come here to be abused.” God, that was ridiculous. I set an appropriate boundary for someone who has none. That is good. I’m doing good and he is bad.

For cripe sake, I am never mean to patients, but they are disrespectful to me, which is bad, no matter how many boundaries I set because I’m a woman with authority. It is really something that people just have to hammer at that to prove something to themselves because they are weak and misbehaved. Out!

He said that because he’s not getting HIS WAY per HIS AGENDA with me in MY OFFICE. This happens all the time for me with men. Their egos delude and blind them. It doesn’t help that he’s a millionaire. More ego and delusion. I don’t care. It’s my office and my house, and things are my way or the highway.

I’m just doing epic treatment. That is all I am here for on the planet, yet people try everything else per their agenda to get what they want. FOCUS. I’ve helped this man with his tragic neck mega big time, and he refers people to me, so for him to say this was uncalled for. This is boundary setting vs. abuse.

If you weren’t parented properly, anyone setting a healthy boundary with you in a normal tone of voice feels like abuse as an adult. *sigh*. Being a therapist isn’t all that great when a 75-year-old adult acts like a 5-year-old.

The mean woman or the b…. is acceptable and pretty hip in our modern society. She is all over the place and uses her body to control men and feels perfectly justified in doing so. She is all over media, famous, and superficial. I think they look PLASTIC like Barbie.

She is a matriarchal feminist who controls as much and as many as she can and makes as much money as she can. The loving, strong, intelligent woman with boundaries and a brain but is not materialist is absolutely unacceptable in our modern society because she shoots a hole through patriarchy that oppresses men and women alike as well as all cultures! She is about empowerment and taking care of herself, and being happy. “What does she have to be happy about if she’s not hot, rich, and serviced by a man?” say the superficial materialists. Blind.

Most men don’t know the difference between these two women because they are both independent and assertive, although one is aggressive like a junkyard dog and will control a man in the home, in a relationship or in the workplace. If the man has been wounded in their youth by their mother or another older woman, they may be blinded by lust or love. Older women hurt young boys emotionally and physically all the time, and no one talks about it. It’s a taboo subject. In our society, men are supposed to “man up,” but women aren’t expected to “woman up.” That keeps women in a lower box and the genders unequal as well as the power structure. And so, older abusive women keep patriarchy in place by abusing young males.

Women conceive, form, and birth men from our bodies! We make them! The woman is the source of man, and we wonder why they are scared of us? Women are powerful creatures and really get one over by acting like a doormat to a beta man or giving away sex with no love. If all women the world over took their power and admitted their power, the entire planet would change.

The matriarchal feminists don’t take care of themselves and believe in dominating everyone, not just men. Many blame men for most things, and they can be monstrous, worse than any man. Others are repressed and have lingered in patriarchal marriages with mentally ill beta men who have also been wounded by our patriarchal system.

Even after divorce, they stay somewhat emotionally attached to them so they can procrastinate on facing their own subconscious wounds. It’s a type of deflection and projection. I have patients like this, but these clients are everywhere in every profession. Are you seeing now how patriarchy needs the compliance of both female and male to function as a slave holder and mind programmer?

We don’t currently live in a society where women and men are taught to love one another in freedom. It’s all a type of territory, and slavery put on a fake romantic pedestal of marriage, but that seems to be ending with the younger generation… maybe. If they can figure out gender equity and mixing lust with love, more power to them. But they must still each take care of themselves and be kind or nothing counts.

Posted on

Re-Program; Looks Only Matter if There is No Love For the Person

This is usually the case and easy to assess quickly. Most people assess a relationship based on looks so it is absolutely doomed over time. This is a no-brainer. If your heart isn’t open or you have a pile of repressed feelings and trauma, you will not succeed in a love relationship. You need to deal with yourself first before you can bond to someone else lovingly.

Everyone has a type that they are sexually attracted to. That is fine and natural. If you’re in your twenties it’s essential that to reproduce you have as much sex as possible. Then you have to have the hots for each other. Lust comes first and it has to be there. But love takes wisdom and maturity which you only figure out in middle age. That’s when true love can happen.

Young mating people cover over their great lust for each other with the word love to get the job of procreation done IMO. Women or mother love dominates young women too much and they are willing to give up much of their self-love and power to the father of her children. This can be a bomb shell over time. Gender disparity will never be checked as long as very competent, tuned in young women marry men that are not equal to them in magic, or an open heart. There is nothing romantic about procreation and having babies so somebody has to lie about it or no one would do it. So we call lust, love, and pay the tab. The marriage lasts maybe until the last child is 15 and then you are usually done with each other. It’s a statistic and an understandable one if you nix the fantasy.

It is also true that most straight men need mental diversity and fantasy and women are just objects for that. They fall romantically into a fantasy they’ve created that they need to have in order to cut the boredom and project that onto some poor woman. Love is definitely blind for men when it comes to relationships which is why it’s so easy for women to manipulate them by objectifying ourselves, making ourselves look hot even if inside, it’s empty. All a woman has to do is take off her shirt and a guy loses his mind. Scary when that’s all he’s got in the first place. Women could take over the world if they didn’t wear bras and shirts! We do wear them so men can keep “trying” to focus.

Most men do not have an open heart. They have feelings but they don’t understand them and this is a function of nature, or has been. It is evolving. They are very emotional though, far more dramatic than women who are very practical so this is mine field for men. But emotions are not love. Sexual feelings of lust are not love. Men don’t get that. Women need to get that and help keep clarity and boundaries.

I get it and take it easy on their feelings. Women are tougher emotionally for sure. Ponder that. We’ve evolved to be because of our children. We adore them and will risk life and limb our entire lives! Women become monster protectors when it comes to our children, rightly so in a predatory world.

Women and their children, male and female are everything. All life IS THAT. End of story. A mother will always be loyal to her son far longer than any wife will be. A woman’s children will always be more loyal to her than any man will be. So what do we have here? Mothers and their children. The center of the Tzolkin, the center of all life. That’s why young women give up some of their power and expression to men for a time; in order to have children.

Men honor your mother and respect her always and forgive her and she will give you the love and respect you crave. Mothers raise your son to pick a good wife by being an example of a good woman who takes care of herself. Teach your son to be a man by supporting his strengths and not being too critical and that he should cleave to his wife so your children will always honor and cherish her. Note that in this scenario everyone wins.

Posted on

Prose; Adoration Be Damned

Here is some of my prose from last year. Have a great weekend!

I’m stalking a case for spring in the autumn of my middle age. My assembled energy is diametrically opposite that of needing the validation of an amassed group of imposters pretending to agree so they can drink together later. It’s not that I don’t like the group, or that I don’t occasionally have a very […]

Prose; Adoration Be Damned
Posted on

Intimacy; Panicdemic

…because a panicdemic isn’t exactly an inspiration to intimacy.

IT’S A DIFFERENT WORLD SINCE I LAST REALLY POSTED ANYTHING!

I’m just going to say it. If you’re well and have faith in your immune system, know that you make antibodies as everyone does and feel like you can walk above the Fear Fray, HAVE SEX!

I’m above the fear fray. I’m incapable of following the crowd on this. Literally. I watch NO T.V. Because I know better. Being holistic, I know the facts about the body and take care of myself.  I don’t rely on doctors and their pills. I use herbs and take Chinese anti-viral herbs that make it impossible for a virus to go into your lungs. YEAH, THEY SHOULD BE ALL OVER THE HOSPITAL but there is no way Big Pharma would let Chinese herbs that work in there, even if they can save lives.

Being who I am, I know how to pretend I’m complying and then do the little actions and use the little wipes, hand washing like it’s a religion, social distancing, blah, blah, blah that everyone thinks is SO powerful and make my office smell like Lysol which is actually not good for us. I actually do it, probably more than the fear people because I coddle the fearful people too much. I feel sorry for them having no faith whatsoever in their bodies.

It’s because they THINK THAT and FEEL that that gives it power. I feel it already without the little anti-microbial everything. Someone do me and people LIKE ME a favor and have a better understanding of how your body really works and some FAITH in your very powerful immune system. We never get that satisfaction. We just get to see darting eyes behind and mask and FEAR oozing out of every part of your body while you walk really fast from the grocery store. Do you know how TOXIC that is?

This whole thing is killing intimacy of any kind and sex and I find it very, very sinister to the social fabric of humanity. We’ll see if they really intend to open up normal movement again. Just start doing it yourself quietly. If everyone does without making a fuss then who is going to stop them?

What is intimate is the virus itself. It’s microscopic folks. It’s smaller than any moisture cells that come out of your mouth during a sneeze. The mask everyone is making like Betsy Ross made the flag aren’t helping with anything. If you sneeze, the microscopic virus goes right through the fibers of the mask. Outside particles in the air go right into and through because they’re microscopic. The only mask that stops it is N95 and I have one. A healthcare worker gave it to me so I could work on her. It’s asphyxiating meaning it works to keep out the virus. Oxygen can barely get in which means nothing in the air is getting in. That’s how you know it works. And you could faint wearing it. So the masks that do work don’t allow you to breathe. There’s a quick death. The whole mask issue is one of psychological false sense of security. If your vibe is full of fear you weaken your immune system.

Anyway…your mind (thoughts and feelings) control your immune system. There are all kinds of nasties, every day of your life in your body that if multiplied, would kill you quickly. Mammals are full of destructive microbes! All the time! We don’t die because our immune systems are 1 million years old of brilliant and are on vigilant guard and go after anything that gets out of line UNLESS, we tell them to stand down and let the killing begin. Meaning, you, the host, feel weak and sad and want to die. That doesn’t usually happen but this would be a good time to split if you felt like it. No one would question you, no hassle. The virus would be blamed, you would not be.

I feel the lack of intimacy and socializing is worse for people than the virus. We are meant to be together. This distrust of our bodies and the immune system is nonsense. That said if you feel weak and full of fear you should stay home because your vibe is toxic. Maybe not just now but all the time. You’ve got some meditating to do and choices to make about your relationship with Life.

Posted on

Intimacy; Familiar Lover

aerial photography of water beside forest during golden hour
Photo by Sindre Strøm on Pexels.com

It’s so much easier to melt into your warm flesh because I know how you smell and your voice.

It’s just the nurturing comfort I need right now but you won’t kiss me as you did before.

Something is distinctly unfamiliar…

You feel different in my bed, humidity on a dry, cold, windy day when the sun is loitering in the sky rather than actually warming things up.

You’re a woke soul, a man not a boy with your dreams doing cartwheels.

It’s not love, it’s familiarity which so many humans mistakenly wrap their arms around in tribal joy.

No doubt, what is familiar today will change tomorrow and that intrepid fact is forever familiar all around us.

Posted on

Intimacy; Gray Area Between Relationship and Hookup?

I have to admit, if I’m not looking for a committed relationship with a man I don’t pay much attention to personality. I’m looking for an attraction for sex or a lover. Men are no different from women.

Having touch and sex is a health issue. We all need it! I’m not throwing guilt in there but I do notice that the emotional detachment with a man turns me off no matter how hot he is. I appreciate the beauty of a man though just as much as men do with women. Yet, it’s not even close to being like love.

Things get tricky when a man is your friend and you have things in common and have known each other for a while. If he has a disposable hookup habit with women who are not friends how will he handle sex with a friend? Another notch only meaner? He gets double points for disposing of a female friend? Ultimately, she’s only a woman and nothing stops him from devouring as much as he can for free.

Being women, we do have the ability to make a man fall in love with us by loving him from the heart, talking to him, and being irresistibly sexy even while we’re free spirits and have no intention of having him on a hook. Personally, I have no desire for a man around just as I have no pet in the house. I’m busy with the work I love. But I’m not sure I want the burden of a man in love with me to weigh me down.

I think you have to be ready to lose the friendship on the sex altar. It happens on the attraction and flirting altar too. That just ended one of my friendships. We didn’t even have sex but we may as well have because the energy and affection were there…then it left. It was his doing because he decided to hook up with someone else much easier to handle, blonder, and more tattooed likely with piercings in all the gross places. Lol. She was his level.

There is a gray area in there somewhere. I just haven’t found the sweet spot. Que sera sera.

 

 

 

 

Posted on

Intimacy; Hip to Be a Ho?

It’s all socially permissible and fine for women and men to be promiscuous now. Everything has changed in the last few years. I include men in the Ho category. In fact they seem to feel privileged to be so detached. I find that doubtful.

Women my age are as hot as ever and the younger men like us because we’re more skilled and can’t get pregnant. Add to that we know what food to eat so our body fluids are tasty. That’s not something most younger women think about because they assume their pheremones have their sexual superiority to us all tied up in a pretty bow.

My generation was not raised to feel perfectly fine about pure sex with no love and I still don’t. But it’s not a happy thing for a woman to go so long without sex that she starts to tighten up to the point of re-virginization. It makes intercourse painful.

The problem there is, as all women know, you could wait forever and slowly become a nun before you find a man with an open heart, emotional skills and capable of intimacy who actually loves you. A woman could easily get stuck hanging out with her gay boyfriend and gay husband like Stanny was to Carrie on “Sex in the City”. Remember how long Carrie had to wait for Big to really love her and then marry her?

So, mainly for health reasons, women and men become Ho’s and have sex outside of love, commitment, and a relationship most of the time. I’m not judging it. I just did it and I wasn’t turned on at all. I walked into the kitchen and said to myself, “I have to live with myself. This is the way I am,” meaning I don’t get turned on unless there is some love and affection, kissing, and matching vibe. I’ve never been superficial or very promiscuous.

Mind you, this man was 6’2″, his body was not just a 10 but more like a 12, perfect manhood, knew what he was doing, brought me coffee and muffin and had luscious lips. And he enjoyed my body and said so! I love my body too. So what! I don’t need his approval.

Nothing. I felt nothing. He was the most detached lover I’ve ever had and I felt sorry for him. He may have actually been a professional because he had the looks and the skill.

I’d rather be celibate. There is nothing I hate more than a man who is hot and utterly emotionally uninvolved with me. This is all feels unfair. If I don’t want my womanhood to close up I have to resort to non-bonded sex with someone I barely know? No. Do you know how many dumb dates I’ve had with trolls? Why can’t men open their hearts more and get with the program? “Ho ho ho” and it’s not even Christmas.

Posted on

Intimacy; You’re not necessarily in a relationship just because you have sex.

just friends

 

What I’m seeing men do is, instead of doing a series of hook-ups, they decide to be monogamous with one woman. Then the assumption is that is a relationship. No, it’s not; not if you don’t have feelings for one another. It’s just an ongoing hookup which is not a relationship.

You’re in a relationship if you have an ongoing friendship, you care about one another, and you hang out and go out, you love talking to one another, you help each other out sometimes and you eat together. That might include sex, it might not. It might be intermittent sex or not. The man or woman’s sexual behavior does not define the parameters of what a relationship is.

It’s time for women to step up and speak up! We need to accept that sexual communication IS a relationship to men and they don’t understand anything much deeper or how to go about it. Women understand emotions and bonding moreso and absolutely need to mix that in with the sex. But we still should not let the man say, “We had sex so you’re my territory.” Maybe you’re just dating. Sex is just part of dating.

Women are territorial sexually as well but my point is, the emotional friendship bond is what really creates an ongoing relationship; not sex. That should be perfectly obvious given how many people have hook-ups and it means nothing. For that matter, sex doesn’t define marriage either.

Posted on

ReProgram Intimacy: Dogs or gods?


Who could resist that adorable puppy coming running toward them for attention? There ya have it. That’s the curse women are under with cute men.

I’ve interviewed women, and they agree. When a man is really cute, he’s very hard to resist! It’s terrible. We just want to love them up and feed them, make up a dog house, let them stay over, oh geez, on and on, and it does us in. There goes the peace we need as females and space to take care of ourselves and get our work done. We really need to learn to resist this instinct!

True to form, I learned something every day about women and men, our basic natures, and realized there were many things I was not taught growing up. Can you relate to that moment someone close to you said something off the cuff and it stuck in your head? That was the case for me with my second husband, Dave (my son’s father). He was walking up the stairs one day after a normal conversation, and he looked at me and said, “We’re like dogs. Men are like dogs” Some men are fancy dogs, or rich dogs, or bad dogs, or good dogs, or work dogs. Some are both! Some are crazy dogs or funny dogs, sexy dogs, or sweet dogs. You get the idea.

If you read my blog regularly, you can guess I looked at him with disbelief and derision. In no way was I going to accept that as an excuse for his behavior. Nor had I ever entertained a career in dog training or dog breeding by letting a man live with me. I’ve never even owned a dog and don’t want to because I’m consistently told that they are like having another child!

Children need to be patted on the head and encouraged, praised with kind words, fed, loved, and kept warm and more. I already did that with my son. I don’t need to do that with a man or a dog. It’s a turn-off to me to think about treating a man like a dog. But now I’ve been mulling it over.

I can say with assurance that I have always worked toward and considered myself a goddess as opposed to dog food. In no way have I ever fed my body to a lusty man to be consumed because he’s hungry. I think most women do, though! They accept it! It does feel good, and women most definitely have the instinct to feed men, but it will kill your self-esteem and is not emotionally good for women.

On the other hand, men love those superheroes, and I know for a fact they have a rich fantasy life about what great warrior heroes and magical powers they might possess. There’s nothing a man loves more than seeing a woman look at him sincerely as her hero.

It’s not that a woman wants or needs to be rescued. We really don’t. But sometimes, we definitely do need protection in a very rough world. Sure, IronMan to the scene! I’m good with that and Robert Downey Jr. is a major hottie.

A man who is a god can be recognized as truly wanting and respecting an intelligent woman who takes care of her own business. He takes care of his own business, so he isn’t bothering her like a little kid and her in the role of his mother. No thanks. He also takes care of his health and teeth, so he pleases her physically, and of course, she does the same. Most of all, he likes himself and has matured to the point of being able to listen and care about how a woman feels.

So I can honestly say I’ve decided I am looking for a man who knows he really IS a god, just as I know I am a goddess. It’s an awareness of the divinity within us; one with us and the goal of the spiritual movement. You won’t find it in religion, and I’m guessing they find it heretical. Spiritual people are not saying we are God. We’re saying that our identity is an ascending child of God, which is a god or goddess.

We’re working on ourselves to get better every day. Every single human being has this in them; in our blood, which is our QI, or consciousness. I’m not the goddess I want to be or know I can be yet, but I’m almost there, and it has nothing to do with age. That will be the subject of another blog.

Posted on

Re-Program Intimacy; How Do We Move From Lust to Love?

Do you know the difference between lust and love? I’ll go with the hard one first; Love. Love is when you want to take time to really know someone, to care about how they feel, what they need and what makes them tick. You want to be their friend. The problem here is friendship usually turns guys off because they want to get kinky and nasty with their fantasy brains too much. Sometimes women do too. That can get mean which I don’t feel is part of friendship.

Friendship is the basis of all lasting, lusty, good relationships. It takes time and maturity to grow. Lust is everything else. Anything that’s not love is lust. Lust is the emotion behind most human interactions and has the face of greed, trolling on Facebook, offloading on strangers and the like. If you have no foundation of care and face-to-face friendship with someone you are indulging in instant gratification lust and there is nothing loving about it.

This issue has been challenging for me. I’m a very passionate, physical woman and have no problem lusting after men who are very attractive to me. I don’t act on it; it’s just fun. My personality and values are all about love. There isn’t really any other material thing I lust after; unless I’m really hungry. then I lust after food.

That’s a good segue because food hunger is almost exactly like sex hunger in the brain. And notice how many people overeat when they just need some love, affection, and sex. We’re looking for a serotonin spike and some other juicy brain chemicals that make us happy. I know I am. Food doesn’t come close to making me happy the way intimacy and love does. I don’t even like bothering to stop and fix food because I’m busy with my projects, writing, chores, things I love to do! Why do I have to stop and eat? I’ve always been like that. I’m not terribly fond of slowing down.

Now we see a problem here; denial of human need when you know it’s not likely to be easily fulfilled! I’ve been married three times to great men and had several great boyfriends. I’m still not satisfied. They weren’t perfect or didn’t satisfy me the way I really want to be. They didn’t make my brain and body explode with orgasmic happiness, although my last mate Michael came close. He loved me…really, really loved me and I loved him. Love is the sexiest thing going. Then he died suddenly. That’s not helping the situation. Love is definitely tragic.

It makes me wonder about eating disorders. If you take that denial of the need for love, warmth, and affection far enough it would make your brain or specifically, the hypothalamus gland stops craving food. So the emotion of lust would be good at this point versus the emotions around deprivation.

I’m not into deprivation at all but I am sorely afraid of loving a man, pulling him to me, and pushing him away because I need to be alone with my ideas, my mind, my life, my work, and my writing. I don’t want to hurt him. There has to be some intimacy and some time shared with your loved one or they will go away. I hate that.

broken_heart1I think I’ve stayed in lust mode in my brain because I’ve lost too many people I’ve loved. It’s like a car idling. My life isn’t idling but my feelings about bonding in a relationship are definitely idling. Maybe I’m stuck in lust gear because it’s emotionally safer. There is no risk of having your heart ripped out and stomped on the floor by death and life itself if you don’t go into love gear and really start driving.

%d bloggers like this: