Relationship Anarchy & Monogamy

It seems that there is no logical contradiction in romantically loving two people at the same time. But the issue here is psychological, as it generates profound emotional dissonance. (If you invest yourself which women do by nature).

The dissonance stems from the fact that by definition, emotions demand partiality, that is, the preference of one person over another, which entails some sort of exclusivity. Partiality for a certain man or woman is a function of nature for the purpose of beneficial reproduction and it always has been. Pheremones control the process and generally, women do the picking since we are the soil that grows the baby and the seed. The male sperm is fertilizer which may account for the lack of bond and his lack of emotion tied to sex or any physical body. I don’t know. Women’s bodies know everything, are emotional and do bond and nurture. It’s crazy being a woman. We’re like walking magic without even trying.

Emotionally, it is extremely painful to imagine your lover in the arms of another person. Indeed, most of those who told of being romantically in love with two people at the same time and pleased with the experience also claimed that they would not like to be at the other end of the relationship; that is, they would find it enormously difficult, if not impossible, to share their beloved with someone else.

The deeper problem, however, does not concern normative values, as seen in heteronormativity and amatonormativity but rather emotional ones. It can’t really be completely intellectualized. Even if this process of relaxing of moral norms continues, and there is no reason why it shouldn’t, a major problem remains: the partiality that colors our emotional system, and in particular jealousy, fear, humiliation, and sorrow which are associated with realizing that your beloved partner is in love with someone else. These are million-year-old brain functions brought on by hormones for our survival!

How can you not be partial toward someone you bond your soul (body and mind) to? Answer; You don’t bond. If that continues, the foundation of society, the family within a community, unravels.

But if you are a unique individual, then you must only bind your soul to another unique individual to which you are in affinity. Because you are individual, it can only ever be partial because you largely belong to yourself, is my thought. What of that?

Pardon my bluntness here, but I believe that in essence, wives are patriarchal fuck girls that serve as a status trophy for a man. The king in his castle. “This is the fuck girl (wife) that will bear my children says the fuckboy. It doesn’t mean that I don’t want the delight of other pussies that I call friends”. And millions of men feel entitled to just that… while they’re married…secretly. No love, no bond. But the fact that they married shields them from the truth. They “appear” to be bonded in monogamy which is a sign of emotional maturity, as long as they don’t get caught being immature and indulgent.

Post-fertility, I have no idea what my function is to a man. It’s not going to be a nurse to his lack of health. I do know that a woman, absent the fear of getting pregnant and remaining sexual and healthy could turn the world on its head. It could be considered a woman’s prime and make all the young perky girls ruffle in competition. I guess that’s a cougar. It’s tempting.

But what about bonding? When are men going to feel a compulsion and obligation to love and bond as much as women?

I don’t know. I just know that sex is meaningless and jungle level without it. I’m not interested.

Woman’s Intuition

I don’t know if living with a male ages a woman or not living with a male ages a woman.  It depends right?  I’m not suggesting that men don’t have intuition.  My empirical observation is that women are just more experienced with intuition and more accepting of it than men are.  It’s more of a fact of nature to me than anything.  Maybe we’ve evolved the trait over time. Nevertheless, my radar was on last night.

I had a date last night for the first time in a year; with a man.  The synchronicity about it was, the same day, I had been contacted by the fellow I had last dated ten months ago and had been fairly traumatized by actually. That’s a long story and I don’t think that there is ever one person responsible for the trouble in a relationship, but I have more scruples than he does; for sure. His call was trying to create a pretext for seeing me again by pretending he cared about my book when I didn’t even ask him for help (he’s an editor). The short of it is, I called him out on the emotional mess he left of “he and I” and told him “bon voyage” even though he doesn’t really have the guts to move out west by himself as he said he would back in October, which he used as an earlier excuse not to see me anymore. Or maybe, since today is his birthday, he thought I would be schmuck enough to make him a birthday pie as I did last year.  Not a chance in hell buddy.

I’m not sure if my scruples are a problem or not when I have a lover. I feel like it makes me “unbedable” in a way because I value love. I’m not a prude by any stretch of the imagination.  I just like love and bonding, not hookups and this last fellow was the one responsible for taking it too fast. He was like a wild monkey. That would be hot if he also cared about me but because he didn’t, he pissed me off. I’m an intelligent human being with a heart and mind not a chimp in the jungle. Sex alone does nothing for me.  I digress. He’s done for.

Maybe I’m somewhat old-fashioned, but telling the truth would be good for starters. His profile said that he was 50 years old. Since we were in a Chinese restaurant looking at the placemat with Chinese animals per year of birth, I asked him what year he was born. The answer, “1961”.  The dude was 56. I need to date a younger man, like 45-54 because of my attitude and look.  Two doctors in the last two months said they thought I was forty so I’m not in denial like some women, and I take care of myself, and don’t smoke or drink too much. Both of those ages a person.

He kept projecting all of these character defects onto me on our first date.  It was truly repulsive. Harvey Weinstein’s face kept flashing in front of me.  I told him the Kung Pao Shrimp was very salty to my taste but the flavor was good. When I didn’t tell the waiter that but said it was fine because I don’t care if the waiter knows or not, he chided me, “You need to tell the truth!” Really dude?  Who was your last woman?  A criminal?

I don’t eat much salt and Chinese restaurants are notorious for salt so it’s not like the restaurant did anything out of character. I’m not going to bother with it. But the first thing out of his mouth was remembering how proud I was of my work when he offloaded about his body to me in a previous phone call. Boy did that piss him off. Apparently, it pissed me off that he decided to go get a spa massage after I spent a half hour listening to and talking to him about his back and how my manual therapy work could help him. He wasted my time. The convo. ended by him saying, “I’ll just go see a massage therapist.” I’d forgotten about it until last night, so apparently, the purpose of the date was for him to throw his resentment and offload to my face.  Then he very proudly asked the waiter to split the bill. It was abusive.

So here we are in 2017, where a kindly, very intelligent very skilled, cute single woman is being herself, namely me, and a guy who has been divorced by the mother of his three children who has obviously failed miserably in some arena is going to take it out on his dates instead of fixing his mess. I posted this before, but there is something emotionally wrong with guys. I think he’s going to die old and alone because of his ego. He can think he’s a catch, and he said as much, but by his behavior, is anything BUT a catch. Talk is cheap guys. Deeds over words. We hardly spent any time together and he was a major jerk.  I will be sure to call him on it.

Mind you, his online profile was sparkling. My intuition told me to stand him up just from the tone of his texts. I didn’t think he would show up. So, I let him show up first, he texted me he wanted me to come, so I went. I should have listened to my intuition.  He was a class A jerk, but cute.  I don’t care about cute when the heart is cold. A cold heart is misogyny and I suggest you get your heart healed and fix your behavior before you date a woman who is not a hookup.

Oh, and he would have rather we met in a bar but didn’t say that beforehand.  Spare me.

Turning Point

stars

Dr. Pert was speaking of Norman Cousins:

What the body needed was the life-affirming, joyous experience of laughter.  State of mind, thought, and feelings, all of which were completely ignored by the medical model, did, in fact, play a major role in recovery.  He even postulated that the laughter had triggered a release of endorphins, which, by elevating his mood, had somehow brought about a total remission of his disease.“-pg. 167 of “Molecules of Emotion”

NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS TO US IN THE BODY, NO MATTER WHO HAS TRIED TO OR HAS VICTIMIZED US, IT IS COMPLETELY WITHIN OUR OWN POWER TO CHANGE, TURNAROUND, AND DO WHAT WE WILL WITH OUR OWN MINDS AND BODIES. We all intuitively know this and try to reason it away.

There is no blame because we have individually been given this full power.  There are no accidents; everything happens for a reason.  And NO ONE ESCAPES the REPERCUSSIONS of the HARM they do to others or themselves. The forces of karma are real. It’s not up to us to get revenge.

Ego says, “I’m sick and useless.  Everyone must drop what they’re doing and give me their energy for myself to use and throw into my black hole of toxic energy because I have NONE within myself.  Everyone else took it from me. I am a poor wretch.”  That’s a huge lie. It’s like a dementor and those in affinity will be drawn to you like a moth to a flame. Those sitting in the light of fullness and self-care will keep you far away if they are wise.

We each have a duty on this planet to transcend, release, forgive, and take action on behalf of ourselves to be well no matter what and FOCUS on what we want to feel for our own bodies and mind.  Stop blaming and take responsibility for your power to think, feel, and create. Stop giving your time and mind to religion, family, politics, and shopping that are negative if you want to be whole.

If you verbally, mentally, and emotionally think of how evil and wrong others are all day and then hate yourself too, you are full of murder, hate, vile disease, and toxic energy that no one who sits in love should be around. You are creating it with your mental focus. Pivot away from that. The Universe has your back.  Sit in the truth of love and wholeness, not in lies.

The universe agreed to allow you to come into the body and CREATE WITH YOUR BODY AND TIME, the experiential learning of your choice.  Now get busy and stop blaming others for the condition of your body and mind, wasting your time, and do something productive that you want to do.

There is no end to forgiveness from the universe or support for you to pivot and change because they don’t have an opinion of you. No one really does and if they do, it has no power because you are the boss of your body and mind, not them. The only opinion that matters to you is your own. The Universe comes from and sits in pure love.  You can use and roll with that or you can resist it.  It’s all your choice.  But wellness and wholeness is the truth, 24/7, available to your mind and heart to use, focus on, and create.  Practice makes perfect.

Do you believe it or not?  It’s the difference between being constructive or destructive with your time.  Are you helping or harming the planet? Do you hate God/Source or do you Love? God hasn’t done anything to you; humans have because they are imperfect, and so are you.  So, let it go and do good to yourself and others no matter what!!!

Maybe Humans Crave Certain Feelings, not Drugs Themselves

That’s a pretty interesting suggestion.  It’s probably not a new one but I sure don’t hear anyone talking about that.  It would mean that you crave the way a drug makes you feel.

You may say, “Well yeah!” Pardon me if my realization sounds naive or conservative.  I’m not.  I’m an extremely liberal woman but I was born sober, so obviously I’m liberal intellectually, in speaking, and in friendships, not in my hobbies.  I have never craved drugs and when I do try them they don’t affect me.  Go figure.  I’ve used alcohol, been buzzed many times and only drunk once. It does nothing for my feelings at all nor does it make my body change much, good or bad. I’ve used pot maybe five times and it doesn’t affect me. I’ve used different kinds of tobacco and I like the smell of it because it reminds me of jazz, but that’s it. I cannot relate to craving a drug to make my feelings change. That’s as odd to me as thinking that changing my clothes will change my personality.  It’s extremely irrational and makes no sense to me.

I AM exceedingly familiar with my feelings changing though, a lot!!  My feelings have always swung this way and that naturally ever since I’ve been a child.  I am in touch with a range of feelings that as a professionally trained actor, I’m able to evoke or bring to the surface quite easily.  So, it must just be my personality; the way my brain works. It does run in my family, being theatrical, but we are also counselors, therapists, and mediums.  I’m also a musician.  I come from an emotionally expressive family so that was seeded in my subconscious in utero.

What all of this is bringing to light is the fact that if you have an expressive art you can imbibe in, maybe those feelings you’re craving will start flowing and your drug craving may go down.  We all need to let our feelings out.  And what about sex?  I know women tend to be more emotional during sex than men if men are at all, but more sex would be good for women then. Most women are as comfortable with sexual feelings as they are with taking a shower or feeling ill.  It’s just part of having a body.  I know this is diametrically opposed to men.

Men, I don’t know how you deal with your feelings other than drinking.  My 19-year-old son tells me that men do get emotionally attached in relationships even though males don’t get emotional during sex itself.  I know that the emotion of sexual tension that occurs when you’re attracted to a female is very uncomfortable for most men and FEAR is your big emotion; maybe even anger at not being able to control the woman’s sexual feelings? That was some inside information I received yesterday that was fascinating.  So, let yourself “be” in a relationship, talking, feeling bonded to other males and females as friends are very therapeutic for guys.  Also, just letting yourself feel the sexual tension with a woman you like.  It doesn’t mean you have to take any major action on it immediately…I guess.

As a female, I don’t really emotionally need friendships as much as I need sex.  I don’t think many women admit that but that’s definitely the case for me.  Or maybe I’m just far more into feeling my body in its natural state than others are. So it’s more important for me to have a partner than many friendships…eventually.

I’ll follow this blog up with my intuition and findings on sexual tension between men and women and maybe even women and women and men and men.  That should be compelling and timely. The issue seems to be unraveling our society on all levels. It’s about time right? This male fear and issue of emotional control is called patriarchy; then it manifests in forced sex. Nada. But are women really completely emotionally innocent in all of this? I really don’t know, seriously asking.

Is it possible that the psychology of sexual predation and sexual harassment is a form of sexual tension that is physically out of alignment because of pent-up feelings? Stay tuned.

 

 

Men and Women Need Each Other

YES!  We do!! We are really going through the ringer right now in the U.S. with the bricks of abuse and sexual harassment falling out of patriarchy.  This is going to be a short blog because I have just one thing to say;

Even though I do believe that on the whole women tend to be the dominant species in terms of civility, ability, reason, intuition, communication, and leadership, I very much like and respect men as a species.  Many women don’t!  Like most people, I hold gender equity as an ideal and I shoot for that in my personal life.  I really don’t want to live with a male partner that I can trump in most ways, yet, that has been the case for me and it sucks.  I don’t want to trump!  So, I’m looking for an exceptional man who won’t fear my strength but won’t take advantage of my weaknesses or call me names.

Patriarchy has essentially been a chance for males to catch up with females and I think they’ve done a pretty fair job.  I am definitely one of the women that don’t want men to get any more “feminine” than they already are, nor do I think women need to get any more “masculine” than they already tend to be.  Let’s have a stopping point here before we stop lusting for each other.

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There is Something Emotionally “Off” with Guys

There are too many on the roster for me to ignore this.  I read a lot too, so it’s not as though I’m ignorant. Well, seriously…I know men have feelings.  That’s very obvious and I’m good with that, unlike many women.  That’s just as obvious as the fact that women have feelings.  And I am sensitive to men’s feelings, as different than women’s and have a ton of experience with men expressing their feelings with me.  I’m safe to do that with.  That’s sort of the problem…maybe.

The Jekyll and Hyde thing, the fear of getting too close, or relying on a woman as your friend, or letting her help you with something she is strong in and you have no idea about; she does the same with you.  Why can’t men rely on women the same way? Why is that so emotionally vulnerable for you but it’s not for us?  Maybe you didn’t have a good sister?  That’s how you pattern it in your brain.

As a woman, who has talked to a lot of women, if we get a red flag about a dude, we break it off, let it go, and have a fairly practical attitude about the lack of emotional affinity so we don’t usually cling, push away, cling, push away, kick and punch.  That induces no sense of emotional security in a woman at all. And I’ve seen it way too much with men.  I don’t see this behavior in women maybe because there’s no way a guy would tolerate that from a woman.  I see and hear her making her mind up.  She has a subjective sense of “the feel” of the guy and their emotions and the sexual affinity so her radar is on baby!  If all that isn’t flowing, we’re not interested and don’t need to analyze it.  Our body told us and that counts the most.

Now the objective part.  Males tend to value or be, more objective to their everlasting detriment.  You’re missing half of the picture.  You thought you drank the whole glass, the other half is in there.  You thought you took a full breath, you didn’t exhale. I’ll stop. The objective picture, which women can fully, competently, always, always, see, is just dumb to us.  It’s never just that way.  You can’t gain any accurate information in life or in relationships by only being objective any more than you can know what sex feels like by just standing outside of it and watching it.

Subjective means you are the subject, you’re in it, you’re living it, your senses, feelers, intuition, BODY (such a big truth for women) are in the situation and we’re talking UPLOAD of information into the computer.  It computes, along with the easy, objective stuff.  We know what’s going on when we’re next to our man but we will never, ever, understand why guys are so irrational and comatose when you’re next to a woman, or her breasts, that you love or care for. Just why?

The rational way to analyze and proceed in a relationship is to dip your toe in the water, smell each other, listen to each other’s voices, socialize, get your instincts going, eat together…and this only takes maybe a couple weeks or the total of five dates to have enough data to make the decision.  Do I want to have sex with this guy and allow some emotional bonding or not?  Whether women admit it or not, our brains are programmed to emotionally bond otherwise, I don’t think we can orgasm.  It’s kind of obvious.

It is forever lost on me why men can’t be more rational about their feelings.  Women have evolved to be objective and subjective. We tend to be balanced for the sake of our children. There are plenty of brilliant women that can do the math, science, tech, blah, blah, blah, blah, like it’s such a big deal.  No…it’s not.  It’s pretty easy for us.  Dealing with you guys and not having to have our defenses up when you freak out over how you feel is what is not easy for us. Living with you is not easy for us.  I don’t think I can do it anymore.

Please try to be more subjective, more empathic, more understanding of other people and women who are different than you.  We are not men nor do we want to be.  We can balance being objective with being subjective and we ask the same of you.

Intuition and Sexual Attraction

I just read this really great article called “Survival of the Prettiest”

Survival of the Prettiest

This article by David Dobbs of the New York Times starts out…

 “Darwin published another troublesome treatise — “The Descent of Man, and Selection in Relationship to Sex.” This expanded on an idea he mentioned only briefly in “Origin.” Sometimes, he proposed, in organisms that reproduce by having sex, a different kind of selection occurs: Animals choose mates that are not the fittest candidates available, but the most attractive or alluring. Sometimes, in other words, aesthetics rule.”

Please read the next few paragraphs of the article.  Then he says this,

“To Darwin’s dismay, many biologists rejected this theory. For one thing, Darwin’s elevation of sexual selection threatened the idea of natural selection as the one true and almighty force shaping life — a creative force powerful and concentrated enough to displace that of God. And some felt Darwin’s sexual selection gave too much power to all those females exerting choices based on beauty. As the zoologist St. George Jackson Mivart complained in an influential early review of “Descent,” “the instability of vicious feminine caprice was too soft and slippery a force to drive something as important as evolution.”

Say what??!!!  I about fell off the couch when I read that.  Most women are not that superficial. Maybe Mr. Mivart wasn’t being picked by an intelligent woman and was frustrated! The ones that aren’t very bright and don’t think about relationship have unstable caprice and go for the car and money…or booty.  That’s a small group of women. Most women I’ve known, know that a foundation of friendship, respect, and affinity are the basis for big, lasting, sexual attraction.  That’s how most women roll, and we use our intuition to do it.

But in this case, it isn’t just our intuition, it’s the science of biology combined perfectly with the intuition that demonstrates my point.  The holistic scientific method demonstrates how women pick a mate.  Pheromones give off silent, non-noticeable smell signals to a woman, about a man’s DNA.  It doesn’t occur so much with men because they aren’t the ones reproducing.  Females make the healthy baby so we have to pick! That’s just nature fellas. This stuff is deep and not even in the control of males or females.  We smell each other unconsciously to put the DNA messages we get about the other person through our subconscious computer brain.

In this case, our 300,000-year-old ancient instinct is behind the selection.  Family resemblance comes into play here too.  Females and males tend to be drawn to people that may resemble an immediate family member if they have safe subconscious tapes about those family members. If you’re at a reproductive age, you will be concerned whether or not that person will fit into your family when you have children.

 “Richard Prum, a mild-mannered ornithologist and museum curator from Yale, has published a book intended to win Darwin’s sex theory a more climactic victory with THE EVOLUTION OF BEAUTY (Doubleday, $30).”

“Prum considers birds artists. Manakins (Prum’s study group) carefully choreograph their dances. Bowerbirds mastered perspective in their bower building eons before human painters grokked it during the Renaissance.”

“Prum sees such aesthetic choices as driving a gradual “aesthetic remodeling” — an evolutionary reshaping of mating behavior, and even of male social behavior more widely, by the civilizing pressure of female preference. Prum stresses this is not about emasculating males or dominating them; it’s simply about selecting for males who allow females autonomy and choice.”

The success of our civilization and the health of our children is, to a great degree, dependent on intelligent, thoughtful, healthy women who listen to the bodies and to their intuition when deciding to mate.  This waste of time, women competing with each other regarding beauty, believing that the men know how to pick or do pick, is indolent. A woman who sits passively back and waits for a man to approve of her is not intelligent enough to be a mother.  For all the blame we put on men, who from an evolutionary perspective are waiting for a woman to pick them, it really rests on women to set the tone and go forward with the holistic scientific method that includes natural biology and intuition. 

The sexually frustrated men who nobody loves, just start wars. We don’t want that.

Paige Bradley-spring

Artist Paige Bradley, “Spring”

Women’s and Men’s Brains are Biologically Different

It’s Biology, Not Socialization

“At the time, it seemed clear to me that any between-sex differences in thinking abilities were due to socialization practices, artifacts and mistakes in the research, and bias and prejudice. … After reviewing a pile of journal articles that stood several feet high and numerous books and book chapters that dwarfed the stack of journal articles … I changed my mind.”

Why? There was too much data pointing to the biological basis of sex-based cognitive differences to ignore, Halpern says.”

Behavioral Differences

Halpern and others have cataloged plenty of human behavioral differences. “These findings have all been replicated,” she says. Women excel in several measures of verbal ability — pretty much all of them, except for verbal analogies. Women’s reading comprehension and writing ability consistently exceed that of men, on average. They out­perform men in tests of fine-motor coordination and perceptual speed. They’re more adept at retrieving information from long-term memory.”

I am a female and all of that is the case for me. Is it for you? In this area particularly, we need to be patient with each other as men and women. Men are seriously behind us in communication and verbalization skills which women need SO much with a partner. We need to be able to talk to each other. Men can’t take it after awhile. They just need our bodies, is what I’ve noticed. That can be hard on women who need talking, bonding, and emotion to be turned on. Men only need that some. Some don’t need it at all which is a real problem. But curiously, I’ve heard more men say, when looking for a partner, “I just need to be able to talk to her.” That’s a good thing.

“Men, on average, can more easily juggle items in working memory. They have superior visual-spatial skills: They’re better at visualizing what happens when a complicated two- or three-dimensional shape is rotated in space, at correctly determining angles from the horizontal, at tracking moving objects and at aiming projectiles.

Well, of course, they’re better at aiming projectiles, come on!

Navigation studies in both humans and rats show that females of both species tend to rely on landmarks, while males more typically rely on “dead reckoning”: calculating one’s position by estimating the direction and distance traveled rather than using landmarks.”

It’s Important for Women to NOT Expect Men to Be Like Women. It’s Important for Men to NOT Expect Women to Be Like Men.

“New technologies have generated a growing pile of evidence that there are inherent differences in how men’s and women’s brains are wired and how they work.”

So, here’s to peace and bonding.

kissing

Dissolving

Dissolve people from my space that do not take care of themselves. I’m not your healer. I’m healing myself from victims and off-loaders. You heal yourself, I don’t heal you. That’s not my head trip, that’s yours.

Dissolve people from my space that think I should be on a saint pedestal just because I have integrity and do good in the world. I’m just a human being that refuses to tolerate certain energy just like everyone else. I’m SO happy to disappoint them when they compete with me when there is nothing to compete with. Everyone is different. Don’t compete with me. Read my book, then compete with the death and suffering that I never hold onto and know how to release. Dare you! No pity. That’s ego too. Compassion is all that’s called for; for me and yourself.

Dissolve people from my space that expect me to lead them into the light and refuse to do it for themselves. I’m not God nor do I want to be. Walk into your own light after I show you how!

Dissolve people from my space that say they care and then try to put me under their boot when they don’t know what they’re talking about.

Dissolve relationship with family members that don’t know how to let go of negative emotion and want me to be as dependent as they are. No. I don’t need to be.

Dissolve ties to people who walk late into a meeting they set up with me and immediately say, even before we begin, that they want nothing to do with me ever again after this meeting. REALLY!? Grow up. There is not going to be a meeting because you want to dominate, not discourse. I don’t work with people who want to dominate. I work with people who respect me enough to be my equal.

You want your power back?…I just handed it back to you because you erroneously gave it OVER to me when I never fucking asked for it!

Dissolve those who are always up to something, say they support you, then they vampire energy from you because they don’t take care of themselves.dissolving

Done. Dissolved. Happy to be just human. Happy to never, ever, ever want anyone to put me on a fucking pedestal just so they can try to knock me off to prove something to themselves.

You’re jealous of my strength and achievement? Then be jealous of the death, loss, vampiric sucking, hate, and jealous family to whom I courageously flip the bird to in order to get to this point. I know I deserve to be happy and abundant and not be surrounded by people that want to either worship me or destroy me for their selfish ego purposes.

Go away.

I’m just a human being with friends doing the work I love.

Ready To Rumble For Bonding

 

femalewarrior

 

Fight.  I’m ready to rumble for bonding.

So…no phone or text and no e-mail.

E-mail?  How am I going to get my edits?…and I went through editing withdrawal.

Do you know what that’s like as a writer?  I thought my head would explode.

I’m going over there…To the HOUSE.

He says, “I can’t believe you came over here.”

I was cut off!  I had no communication choice to get my work done.

He was happy to see me!  Came close to me, right into my personal space.

He cleared a chair off for me quickly, searched and found out it was his cut off to usurp my threatened cut off when the edits were done, but not before.  He goofed up.  No apology.

He sent it, I didn’t receive it.

I started this with my boundaries and he was getting his back.

Guess what I’m going to do next?

I’m going to seriously date someone else I like.

I…am…NOT…doing hook-ups and booty calls

For the last half of my life as an adult!

I have the energy for this.

Ready to rumble for bonding.

Mind you, the energy of my body will be as receptive as a duckling

But my mind will be a steel trap.