Essay; 10 Reasons It’s Hard For Smart Women To Find Love


1. They aren’t afraid to be by themselves.

Smart women know what they want and aren’t willing to settle for anything less. They know the importance of staying true to themselves and they also realize that sacrificing their needs for the sake of love with the wrong person will only cause resentment in the long run. They do not have to settle out of fear of being alone, or fear of social implications by others’ who do not understand a woman’s ability to be by herself and be happy.

2. They know what they want.

Every woman has a mental “checklist” of what they are looking for in a significant other. A smart woman’s checklist tends to be either longer or more specific than those who want a significant other, just to have a significant other. They know themselves and in turn, know what type of person they can and can’t be with.

3. They don’t need another person to facilitate their lifestyle.

The past portrays that women needed to go straight from their father’s house to their husband’s. In the modern world women no longer need another person to help them live on their own; they may have realized they prefer that alone time. Therefore, knowing that they will eventually have to share that space can be scary for an independent woman.

4. They have other commitments that take priority over dating.

Careers, friendships, family, extra-curricular pursuits, whatever it is that she has going on may not allow for as much time to date as it takes to find the right mate.

5. They are hyper-aware that relationships end and can let their knowledge of the past affect their future potential relationships.

They have a harder time “living in the moment” and do not want to waste their time; as time truly is a valuable asset to a smart woman. They need to know that there is a future and that their potential mate is on the same page.  Marriages, kids, finances, etc.

6. They know that attraction is only half the battle.

Physical attraction is an important aspect of finding love, but smart women understand that attraction is fleeting and can be altered once you see what is underneath.  While a woman’s hormones tend to make the first step towards finding love, smart women understand that it is the intimacy developed (and maintained) by both people that dictate whether or not a relationship can last.

7. They can be intimidating.

When a woman is intelligent she isn’t afraid to stand up and say what she thinks. This is a hard pill for a lot of people to swallow. Whether it’s because they don’t know how to react, or if it’s because they don’t feel they can live up to her expectations; either way, it can be somewhat intimidating for potential lovers and even friends.

8. They understand change.

They don’t pretend that they, and their partners, will be the same person years down the road. They want to grow and they have ambitions for their futures that will change who they are, and ultimately, what they want. Knowing this makes it harder for a woman to commit to a partner for a long period of time.

9. They have a vast understanding of modern dating practices and don’t necessarily like, nor agree, with them.

Dating is no longer a means of survival for women. As stated before, since we no longer need to be passed from father to husband as well as we have the capability to live alone – dating is truly meant to find a companion whom you love and want to share your life, interests, and future with.

10. They know not to trust their hearts with just anyone.

This reason is the culmination of all of the ways it is harder for smart women to find love. Deciding whether someone is worthy of an intelligent woman’s heart is not an easy task and we do not take it lightly. Intelligent women have to weigh the pro’s and con’s and decide if the risk of loving another person is worth the devastation that can occur if it doesn’t work out.

Heartset; Rational Passion


red serpent rising

What is passion?

The Urban dictionary says,

“Passion is when you put more energy into something than is required to do it. It is more than just enthusiasm or excitement, passion is an ambition that is materialized into action to put as much heart, mind-body, and soul into something as possible.”

The less precise but widely held definition is;

“strong and barely controllable emotion.”

That one is inaccurate and projected onto women more than men. I don’t believe women are more emotional than men. I believe estrogen and testosterone make men and women equally emotional, just in different ways but men hide their feelings far more and their egos make them more sensitive to rejection. Think about it. Women and men both go off the rails emotionally due to hormone imbalance; women the estrogen, men with testosterone! Those hormones align with a physical workout by the way.

The reason for this definition still being popular is that humans are still most strongly motivated by lust and desire for sex and food. We are still at a basic primate level developmentally as far as our brains. It’s easy to see proof of that in our society. Sex, food, and money are the basic things humans want or all they want and those lusts control all of our institutions, politics, and families. If you look at most posts on social media, those three are the basic motivations.

But the first accurate definition is beyond emotion; it contains rational thinking, observation, decision making and taking action to materialize the passion. Most important, it requires patience and determination. It requires intelligence, vision, and choice. It ends up being a desire to serve and give back as well. It’s generous.

I want to point out that going this route does not make someone “better” than others, worthy of jealousy, derision, and offloading. It means they are willing to take what they’ve been given and work hard to apply themselves to the task they’ve chosen while others are not. They are good examples and deserve respect. I’m not always willing to do it though, only sometimes. It is the utter sign of laziness when others offload, use, and are jealous of someone who is likely equal to them in gifts and ability but is not willing to pay the price to do what the other one is doing! But boy do they swear that they love you. Love is actions, not words. Love is not rhetoric.

I am a passionate person, but because I’m all about transcending my subconscious programming from my family in order to become a conscious adult, I’ve developed my rational mind to a great extent to subdue the subconscious voice that is too emotional and dramatic, addicted to secure habits and harps on the past. My motivation is to help add to the possibility of species survival as opposed to extinction, of which seemingly, we are on the precipice.

Why else would a majority of Americans elect the most self-serving, racist, greedy, destructive man possible to be the President of the U.S., allow pedophile churchman to continue to be the leaders of the Christian Church, allow science to be run not by the scientific method and rational facts but money and misogyny?

All of the behaviors in those institutions reminds them of the values of their family growing up, the subconscious mind; addiction, alcoholism, capitalist greed and ambition, ego, submission or abuse of their mother and then likely her abuse of them, incest, sexual avarice, and the hypocrisy of covering it all with regular church attendance and tithing. It sounds like a bipartisan congressional picnic to me. Is anyone really good? I don’t care about anyone’s details that would print in the National Enquirer. I’m not a judge or confessor nor will I accept name-calling or offloading because I know the truth.

It continues to entertain me to see the level of shock and dismay about Trump, as though anything he does or any motivation he has isn’t predictable if you’ve been paying attention for a NY minute. He was elected by his American children in certain demographic groups who admire his deviant, greedy, destructive behavior. They love how evil he is because then it gives them license to behave badly. They want him to burn the “house” down because it represents their hypocritical, unhappy, racist, alcoholic childhoods. Maybe their mothers were not only unhappy but also sexually abused them. There are a lot of messed up women out there but it’s taboo for men to rat on women or their mothers. Everything is blamed on the men don’t ya know. Otherwise, they’re called “pussies”. Some women really leverage that fear in men and are very abusive.

If you haven’t figured it out by now, in the collective house, the Democrats are the mom and the Republicans are the dad. The citizens are the children. This thing can’t turn out well…unless the Republican party up levels to become a worthy opponent to the Democrats like they used to be.

I’m not better than anyone, as my mother accused me of believing about myself at Thanksgiving, but I am very psychic, can see the truth about people, have a real heart for humans, and deeply want to see our species survive extinction. I have a big vision that I’m not willing to hand over to small visions, petty jealousies, and lazy, irrational minds that don’t remember where they came from. We all have the capacity to be better and do better. I hold myself to that more than anyone else so there is nothing hurtful you can say to me that I don’t already say to myself.

I’ll just keep working and taking care of myself. I really don’t care who likes me or not. I love myself and my body and it works for me.

Essay; Why Do People Hate Smart Women?


Marilyn Vos Savant

This is Marilyn vos Savant. She has the highest IQ of any woman in the world…that has been measured.

This is a great article!

Why Do People Hate Smart Women?

The simple answer is because most of them aren’t so it’s jealousy which comes from women and men who resent or feel threatened by a very articulate person if they are not. It seems to me that no matter how good of a job I do or how nice I am, and I am, I’m railed on at some point by those who don’t understand me. Humans are really something. Especially the name-calling and commanding tone when they have no right, whatsoever, to start it up. Primates.

This issue is really floating on the collective society’s surface right now and showed it’s face to me two days ago. I’ve been aware of and dealing with this issue my entire life and have a pretty good coping mechanism in place so that I never feel victimized or lonely.

However, this week, the face of this thing is morphing. I’m seeing it turning around and bouncing off of the white culture (female and male) and the brown cultures (Mexican and East Indian) and the black cultures. I have friends from all of these cultures so that’s why I’m seeing and hearing it.

The Mother

Men who have been traumatized by a very frustrated mother who turned bitchy or abusive in the home have suffered the most. But I have to say, your mother made you. You wouldn’t be here or have a body no matter what her behavior was once you came out if she hadn’t done her thing. That is enough for gratitude and respect. Does every mother have karma for how she treats her children? Inescapably yes. But men should not let that ruin their minds or their relationships with women. It has though.

However, white men and women don’t see it that way. They hold a grudge, believing that they are in a privileged position in society and should always be treated well, especially by their parents. Personally, my parents were very WASP’y so I was treated well. They never lifted a finger to me and very rarely screamed at me.

The hatred of women is coming from the misogynistic white male culture. They especially hate white women. Again, being white, I feel it harks back to the very dysfunctional way that relationships are formed in the white culture; based on ownership, things, money, and property.

That’s all I have on this one. The article really says it all and it ripped me to shreds accepting this issue. Please read it. I’ll have to get back to you on this. It’s pretty much an open wound.

Can We Love One Another Without Traditional Bonding?


It depends on how you define bonding which I address below. In spiritual circles, we say, “Love at all times”. So the heart is always open, to everyone and we are protected by Spirit and use our intuition as a guide so there is no fear. We still have to be discerning about how we express love. For indeed, there is no fear in Love. So, that’s the idea. Many highly spiritual people succeed in this so I know it’s possible.

Like all good ideas, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t; boots on the ground kind of thing. When I put this to the test in my relationships with men and women I’d like to have a more specific plan since I’m a lover and a giver. My cup is always full and I need to empty it. That’s why I’m a giver. The last thing I need is more offloading, vampires, users, fakers and very unstable in my space looking for love that they need to find within and can find within. That’s when my cup empties quickly. That’s where discernment comes in.

How can we keep a strong boundary as empaths and lovers?

  1. If you truly love the other person, you accept where they are on the Self-Love spectrum. Don’t rush in where angels fear to tread. Instead, observe their behavior. Are they intuitive with you as you are with them? Are they emotionally sensitive to you when you need a shoulder or a hug or just to talk? They can give to you if they give to their own Self. Also, how much do they talk about their family? Are they still enslaved by a toxic family and defined by their toxic projection onto them? This issue is epidemic. Reiki aligns it.
  2. Do you love your own body enough so that when you have sex, you don’t suck energy from the other person but just “share” who you are? If you truly love your body you will just enjoy each other’s bodies, you won’t feel the need to possess the other. The other person can feel it if you do that.
  3. Is your conversation and dynamic peaceful with the other person? Or are there feelings of tension, or one person does all the talking all the time while the other one listens. Do they ask you how YOU are or is it always about them?

Intuition comes into play here more than reason. Studies have shown that humans highly communicate through body language. Everybody has different feelings but it’s not others job to figure you out. It’s your job to figure you out and know how you feel. It’s called maturity and mindfulness. You are the one IN your relationship, other’s are not or should not be, so they are of no use coming to a decision, ultimately. Our friends can be a sounding board for our own feelings though. That’s what friends are for; not to tell you what to do in a relationship.

How do we define bonding?

  1. “I miss you when you’re not here.” You’re bonded
  2. ” I need you next to me in bed”. You’re bonded
  3. “I need to talk to you to feel secure.” You’re bonded
  4. “I want to be with you more or most of the time.” You’re bonded

The list can go on but it’s always, “I need”, “I want” like a child. As an adult, you are able to regulate feelings of need and want via your brain. If your brain isn’t regulating it, put boots on the ground again and get exercising, moving, eating healthy and drinking water. It’s that simple. Just do it and stop pondering it.

I think bonded is a misnomer. I’d say you’re latched on, like a baby breastfeeding on its mother or a small child getting the affirmation and attention that they need from their father. All of this is the subconscious mind repeating unresolved patterns with the birth parents. That’s the main problem in our society. We need to release subconscious programming and become adults in our conscious program that we design for ourselves.

Can women keep their feelings during sex and not bond? How?

Realize that your feelings are for yourself. The man is barely absorbing them or feeling them anyway because all he feels is your body. While it’s true that the body is your feelings and thoughts, being mentally aware of your feelings is a higher level of cognition that women have. Most men don’t have it. They haven’t evolved the skill of knowing how they feel past being hungry or horny. It’s unbelievable to women but it reminds me of Hermione in Harry Potter when she referred to Ron as having the emotional range of a teaspoon. And it’s unfair for women to expect most men to be any different. That’s like asking women not to have breasts. Of course, we have breasts. It’s natural.

I would say “Yes”, we can love one another without traditional bonding but it’s not realistic to expect others to be able to. 98% of humans bond to one another and thus we have all the problems that we do on earth. People follow each other instead of their inner knowing. I personally think we need to grow past that but I certainly don’t expect it. True unity happens when we are all naturally sitting in our center. The fact is, we’re already bonded with all of life in the physical as one big family of Life. Just relax into that instead of adding another layer of latching on.

 

 

 

Re-Program; Reality and Knowledge Considered As Process-David Bohm


My Thoughts on “Wholeness and the Implicate Order”-Chapter 3-Lisa T.

Not only is everything changing but all is flux“-David Bohm

I feel, from reading in this pool of information and authors that it is a deep well of perception where our differences could create stress amongst each other or lack of respect. There are not very many scientists, lightworkers, healers, cosmologists, writers and artists who are passionate about the new paradigm in science, healthcare, or spirituality. Most people go along with the way things are to keep it all level. It’s a human habit. There might be only thousands of us on the planet out of billions of human beings who look to shake things up. Sometimes it’s lonely out on the leading edge, and no one cares or understands what we’re talking about. All we have are each other.

Yet, if we can keep discussing these ideas, the meanings of our terms, our intuitions about the holonomic movement as perceived through gender and in our bodies without judgment or emotional bias, we can share. It is about stimulating ideas and how to communicate this truth to the larger world without getting thrown against a wall for expressing ourselves in our unique perceptions. We all have feelings.

Let’s not tear one another apart under the stress of being different or not understanding each other. Reality is not defined by one person. Knowledge is not defined by one person and no one person has a fence around this territory.  Someone said, “Fences make good neighbors” but in metaphysics and holonomic movement, we could keep our friends close, agree to discuss in a civil manner and include women as friends in the conversation with men. Infighting is bad marketing. A lack of empathy and cooperation is worse.

So, in that spirit, David Bohm says reality and knowledge are processes. In other words, they are verbs, not static nouns. This could be very upsetting to some thinkers who want to have a corner on the truth to feel more comfortable, to compete, or to feel right. That ego is one of man’s greatest defenses to his most vulnerable spot; his heart. Women understand.

Our intuition tells us that all of life flows. Change in Life is inherent and it’s obvious to all observers. Consequently, our language and civilization structures need to be flexible so that we can adapt and not break. This is the lesson of evolution, not just survival. Science tells us we can use our thoughts to focus and make choices and decisions so that our lives aren’t blown by the wind or dictated by fate. “Now let’s think about this before we make a rash decision!” is what we hear. Look before you leap, but let’s still get moving; especially if your intuition says, “Let’s go!”

Bohm is going a step into the netherworld in this chapter though. He is saying that science, quantum physics, in particular, have found that mind and matter are not solid, not real, and as shown in experiments, are in flux. The flux IS the ground.  What they cannot find is the Source of intelligence. They can watch thought happen in the material brain but where is the thought coming from? Intelligence; and there the trail ends in science.

You can go to bed tonight thinking about the fact that reality and knowledge are in flux, they are not pinned down and no one has a corner on the truth no matter what you “think” you see.

earth magnetic portals - hidden

 

 

Body Truth; Network of Mind IN the Cells


steven-holl-shadow-art
Steven Holl-Shadow Art

Chapter 9 of “The Molecules of Emotion” gets juicy. Dr. Pert says, on page 185

The three classically separated areas of neuroscience, endocrinology, and immunology with their various organs-the brain; the glands; and the spleen, bone marrow, and lymph nodes are actually joined to each other in a multidirectional network of communication linked by information carriers known as neuropeptides.

“…it might make more sense to emphasize the perspective of psychology rather than of neuroscience, for the term psycho clearly conveys the study of mind, which encompasses but also goes beyond the study of the brain. I like to speculate that what the mind is, is the flow of information as it moves among the cells, organs, and systems of the body…the mind as we experience it is immaterial, yet it has physical substrate, which is both the body and the brain.”

Molecules of Emotion coverThe mind, then, is that which holds the network together, often acting below our consciousness, linking and coordinating the major systems and their organs and cells in an intelligently orchestrated symphony of life.  This view of the organism as an information network departs radically from the old Newtonian, mechanistic view where we saw the body in terms of energy and matter. But there is intelligence running things.  Intelligence in the form of information running all the systems and creating behavior.”

Creating behavior?  Now there is where I part ways with her.  My son, who is studying psychology believes our behavior is determined by chemicals in the brain. That makes him, and those who agree with him, materialists. Many people believe our behavior is pre-determined or determined, that there is no real choice or free-will.  Frankly, this seems to be the central debate as we are squarely in the high-tech age, moving from Newtonian materialism to Einstein quantum states where something we see only exists because we see it collectively.  It doesn’t exist in and of itself, by itself.

What do your intuition and experience tell you here?  How has your life unfolded?  My life has taught me that I create my reality and my body condition by the habitual feeling, beliefs, and thoughts that I run. So I check myself every day. It’s called mindfulness. While I am part of an agreed-upon collective mind field as I look out my office window at the snow-covered roofs, my individual perception, interpretation, feeling, and thought processes are chosen by me.  Am I kidding myself?  Am I just a puppet on a string? Or are we truly at choice?

It makes no sense to believe we’re puppets. Otherwise, our lives would all be the same and unfold in a gentrified fashion and have no meaning or differentiation. There is an observation! Many people’s live ARE gentrified because they are not acting on their power to choose; free will. It is possible to abrogate your rights in the universe and then your mind goes into default mode, programmed by your family, Facebook, and CNN and you are part of the herd mentality. There are a thousand ways to free yourself from that and uplift your mind. Follow your intuition.

While it’s true that in my personal life, death/change has been a constant around me, it’s not something I chose to happen; I’ve witnessed it happening to others first hand. The universe allowed it to occur around me for a reason or maybe I did. However, my individual choices are indeed the reason I find myself in my current situation. It’s all good.

My mind is run by my intuition 24/7 and always has been, for as long as I can remember. Personally, I feel like I live in a kaleidoscope. When others see static sameness, I see and feel minute details of an ever-changing landscape of colors, vibes, temperatures, shapes, dimensions, and souls coming and going. Even sitting still, I feel in my body that life around me on earth is a dance of changes in light and shadow and I interpret them as quickly as I can and respond.

Re-Program; Humans Weren’t Designed to be Rational and We’re Better Thinkers for it.


Science and Intuition

Trust your instincts

“Despite the growing reliance on “big data” to game out every decision, it’s clear to anyone with a glimmer of self-awareness that humans are incapable of constantly rational thought. We simply don’t have the time or capacity to calculate the statistical probabilities and potential risks that come with every choice.

But even if we were able to live life according to such detailed calculations, doing so would put us at a massive disadvantage. This is because we live in a world of deep uncertainty, in which neat logic simply isn’t a good guide. It’s well-established that data-based decisions don’t inoculate against irrationality or prejudice, but even if it was possible to create a perfectly rational decision-making system based on all past experience, this wouldn’t be a foolproof guide to the future.”-Olivia Goldhill

Check out this chart.

Every Single Cognitive Bias

It reminds me of Sheldon on “The Big Bang Theory”.  It kind of paints a picture of autism and OCD behavior, which I’m not judging. The fact that Sheldon skews in favor of cold, hard science and numbs human emotion or social sensitivity is rare. I understand having lived with two different autistic partners.  To me, the brilliance is attractive in some way.  I’m not sure why yet.  Maybe I’m on the spectrum as ADHD? My son thinks so but no one else does.

In the 1970s, two psychologists proved, once and for all, that humans are not rational creatures. Daniel Kahneman and Amos Tversky discovered “cognitive biases,” showing that humans systematically make choices that defy clear logic.  I believe this is a visual interpretation of the original chart.  It is worth looking at and makes the point that we are by and largely subjective, emotional creatures.  It’s a beautiful thing…to me.

Here is the full article that goes with the “Cognitive Bias Chart”;

Humans weren’t designed to be rational and we’re better thinkers for it.

“Unconvinced? There’s an excellent real-world example of this: The financial crisis. Experts created sophisticated models and were confident that the events of the 2007 crisis were statistically impossible. Gerd Gigerenzer, Director of the Max Planck Institute for Human Development in Germany, who studies decision-making in real-world settings, says there is a major flaw in any system that attempts to be overly rational in our highly uncertain world.”

“If you fine-tune on the past with an optimization model, and the future is not like the past, then that can be a big failure, as illustrated in the last financial crisis,” he explains. “In a world where you can calculate the risks, the rational way is to rely on statistics and probability theory. But in a world of uncertainty, not everything is known—the future may be different from the past—then statistics by itself cannot provide you with the best answer anymore.”

“We need hot-headed, emotional decisions

Though calling someone hot-headed or overly emotional is generally a critique of their thinking process, emotions are in fact essential to decision-making. There’s even research to show that those who suffer brain damage in the part of the organ governing emotions often struggle to make decisions. They can weigh up the pros and cons, but can’t come down on one side.”

After reading the whole article, I am in favor of using both my intuition and my rational processes.  Humans have always done that and it’s not a neat 50/50 percent of the time one way or the other.  Everyone is different.  I support the use of the scientific method when it’s appropriate.  It’s not always appropriate!  Yet our patriarchal culture with the male scientists on top uses it to hit us all over the head with a two-by-four to make sure we know that they are in charge, to such an extent that very qualified women in STEM, (Science, technology, engineering, and math), flee the university setting because of extreme gender bias. They’ve done studies. I’m correct.

The males are not in charge of their controlling attitudes in science. It’s not going to last. And many times, they’ve been wrong. Many scientists will agree that it is quite desirable to also employ the intuition, especially if leads us away from militarism.  And there are millions of humane men that are very anti-militaristic.

I’m not going to get into the gender disparity on this issue at the moment, but suffice to say, I believe all of our work, females, and males will benefit from using and having respect for both. But intuition has been derided and disregarded in favor of the Philosophy of Science category and it needs to stop. The Science of Philosophy of the Mind and Psychology needs to be taken into account also.  That is also science.

 

Re-Program; What Does Cognitive Mean?


The modern meaning of cognitive has to do with mental processing or thinking. The thesaurus puts emotions under cognitive process as well but that’s not working for me based on seventeen years as a professional bodyworker and reiki master.

Emotions don’t come from the mind or the brain nor manifest there. Emotions come from the emotional body and the astral body and manifest in the digestive system and the heart. So emotions are not cognitive; they are cardioactive and digestive which would account for the fact that humans literally feel like their physical heart is broken when they separate from someone they love, they can’t eat, have no appetite, and what they do eat doesn’t stay in.

good chakra imageThe emotional body is hooked to the physical body at the abdominal chakra 2 (the orange circle) through the etheric body which is chakra 1, (the red circle) low back down to the bottom of the feet. The mental body is hooked to the physical body through chakra 3 (the yellow circle) the stomach or solar plexus. There is an energy body attached to all of the chakras as well as a certain type of mind.

The first problem in communication regarding all of this is the assumption that the physical brain is the same thing as the mind. Based on my experience, that is incorrect. The brain is a physical organ, spinning at a different energetic rate of manifestation than the mind. The mind moves between dimensions and is disembodied part of the time.

Our mind is active at night while we dream but our brain has no cognitive activity. They’ve measured it with their electrodes. The physical brain is resting. There is no thinking going on, but there is mental activity from the mind going on, which they don’t know how to measure with their instruments, so to them, it doesn’t exist.

The thesaurus states that the antonym of cognitive is body/physical. There you have the reason our health care system is so materialistic and messed up. It separates the mind from the body. If you’re going to do that you may as well be dead. Many people stuck in materialistic thinking are slowly trying to kill themselves with addictive behaviors that supply instant gratification because they feel that they are only a body, nothing else.

The mind is one with the body. The body is the mind. The body exists because of your mind. In short, your mind, all MIND is eternal or life would be one useless pile of nihilistic crap which makes absolutely no sense at all. A person has to be seriously disconnected to believe that mind dies. The brain dies, not the mind, and some would say, the soul doesn’t die either.

There is much to learn on this topic. To be continued.