Essay; Intimacy and Intuition


Private & Passionate Prose-Cover jpg

Intimacy means feelings and bonding with sex. It’s true friendship, not territory, ownership, or marriage necessarily.  I have a feeling men would say sex is intimacy because that’s as far as most of them go. Sex IS their feeling like hunger IS their feeling and for them, it is deep and significant. Anything physical is very emotional for men; like being sick or succeeding in a sport or having a lot of money. They love “things” and have emotions about “things”. They freak out like a little kid and women make fun of them too much regarding those things. Women all know this but not all women are loving and patient about it. Women view bonding and relationship as transcendent over the physical. It’s spiritual for us.

I’ve decided that I’m tired of acting so detached with men (mimicking them!) when the truth is, I do have feelings. I’m a girl! I’m sick of feeling like I have to act like a guy or a hook-up prostitute to get any attention or bonding with a man. Or maybe I don’t want the bonding then! The promiscuity with women, the super-rationality and denial of emotion, the negative feelings about their mother and the resistance to real intimacy with a woman is a turn-off to me. Comments like, “I can’t live with a woman.”, “I don’t have relationships with women.” No heterosexual man has ever said things like that to me but that’s what I’m hearing lately from men who profess to be straight. Are they straight or do they really prefer someone like themselves; another man? There is no way they could love a woman?

Straight guys actively pursue a woman they’re attracted to, get to know her in person, want to have sex with her and see where it goes from there! You know a guy wants you when they contact you and want to “be in touch”. If they don’t, they don’t want you.

There is a little conundrum here for me. Women need physical confirmation of attraction, in person, before we invest more time and communication with a certain fellow. That’s what women need. I’ve heard men say they don’t. I don’t believe it but there is something handy about one step removed I suppose. I think it’s odd.

One thing Zoosk has taught me is that meeting a guy on social media and in-person are night and day. I’m done with that now because none of the men are very happy. I have to date a man before it progresses any further and feel a friendship there. End of story. And any man who expects sex on the first date is not interested in loving a woman at least as a friend. He must demonstrate it or he is not capable of it in which case, this woman will never have sex with him.

It’s pretty simple for me. I’m literally not turned on if there is no affinity, no warmth, no sincere affection, no love. Women are super intuitive with regard to the truth about a guy’s real feelings so there is no worry. If he has no feelings, neither do I and for me, that means no sex. The only way a guy can get around that is if he finds a woman willing to deny herself, her core, and her needs which unfortunately is all too easy these days.

Essay; Women Feel the Need to be Like a Colorful Male Bird? Yes.


 

I don’t. But many women don’t like to be ignored. Kind, smiling, pretty, plain women are preferred by a husband for marriage (hurrah!) But when it comes to fun, sex, and money, because of the sexual objectification of women, men prefer novice, meanness, titillation, color, and bitchiness. Women are just actors in men’s psychodrama and it’s important for women to see that if they want to choose to lead authentic lives and play no role for anyone. Some men see women as human beings but most don’t. They can’t because we’re more human than them and rival them in a myriad of ways. That’s not something that they can psychologically handle.

In many cultures, men are free to have a wife and a mistress so they can have the status they need and basically have their cake and eat it too. Then the women can choose whichever role they prefer to play for the man as long as patriarchy continues. Women put on all the colorful makeup and clothes, along with gay men.

In nature, the males are bigger and more attractive, dance around and are colorful. The females are just…great the way they are and the colorful men pursue them and show off. I certainly see that with Bruno Mars and the Hooligans. They’re adorable to me! I don’t know what the guys think. I know quite a few women who think they are some fancy birds dancing around and showing their stuff. Most females do love it. That is nature.

But I wonder why our society is topsy turvy, where the women feel the pressure to be colorful; LIKE MEN? I shunned public performance because I’m very feminine and come across shy. I’m not shy with a man one on one…at all. But my nature is female! Why would I want to draw a ton of attention to myself? I do get courted by men but not men that I like. That’s troublesome. It’s because I don’t strut myself like a male bird.

I notice the women on the news are expected to be very aggressive in their tone of voice and buff. Patriarchy essentially means men want men because they feel they are superior to women. Women are viewed as defective by men that cling to patriarchal misogyny…and football. Many men don’t, I know. So women are only desirable if they’re more like a man. That means the man is essentially homosexual. I’ve never heard anyone suggest that but I see it. He prefers males or women that are aggressive or bitchy. Gag me. That’s the alpha way and obviously, I’m beta. No alpha man has ever pursued me and won’t. Good!

Just throwin’ this out there. Women who succeed in public are either very assertive, aggressive or a lesbian. IN NATURE, that is a preponderance of testosterone which is alpha male. Beta women that don’t want to act like a guy are ignored, except by the beta males who are trolls, nerd, artists, and freaks (women are all of that too). It now suggests the issue of alpha vs. beta. I believe our society is moving toward the rise of the Betas.

Essay; Why Do People Hate Smart Women?


Marilyn Vos Savant

This is Marilyn vos Savant. She has the highest IQ of any woman in the world…that has been measured.

This is a great article!

Why Do People Hate Smart Women?

The simple answer is because most of them aren’t so it’s jealousy which comes from women and men who resent or feel threatened by a very articulate person if they are not. It seems to me that no matter how good of a job I do or how nice I am, and I am, I’m railed on at some point by those who don’t understand me. Humans are really something. Especially the name-calling and commanding tone when they have no right, whatsoever, to start it up. Primates.

This issue is really floating on the collective society’s surface right now and showed it’s face to me two days ago. I’ve been aware of and dealing with this issue my entire life and have a pretty good coping mechanism in place so that I never feel victimized or lonely.

However, this week, the face of this thing is morphing. I’m seeing it turning around and bouncing off of the white culture (female and male) and the brown cultures (Mexican and East Indian) and the black cultures. I have friends from all of these cultures so that’s why I’m seeing and hearing it.

The Mother

Men who have been traumatized by a very frustrated mother who turned bitchy or abusive in the home have suffered the most. But I have to say, your mother made you. You wouldn’t be here or have a body no matter what her behavior was once you came out if she hadn’t done her thing. That is enough for gratitude and respect. Does every mother have karma for how she treats her children? Inescapably yes. But men should not let that ruin their minds or their relationships with women. It has though.

However, white men and women don’t see it that way. They hold a grudge, believing that they are in a privileged position in society and should always be treated well, especially by their parents. Personally, my parents were very WASP’y so I was treated well. They never lifted a finger to me and very rarely screamed at me.

The hatred of women is coming from the misogynistic white male culture. They especially hate white women. Again, being white, I feel it harks back to the very dysfunctional way that relationships are formed in the white culture; based on ownership, things, money, and property.

That’s all I have on this one. The article really says it all and it ripped me to shreds accepting this issue. Please read it. I’ll have to get back to you on this. It’s pretty much an open wound.

Essay; The Anima and The Animus


anima and animus

I’ve always been fascinated by the inner male inside the female (animus) and the inner female inside the male (anima). The terms were coined by the psychologist C.G. Jung.  It seems to me that humans intuitively know we each have those energies as part of our identity to some degree without over-analyzing it. Women and men are both female and male! It’s one of the reasons that the homosexual lifestyle really doesn’t bother most Americans. A Pew Research poll taken in 2017 showed that 62% of Americans support same-sex marriage. We all know that we’re learning about our bodies and our feelings whether we’re attracted to female or male at one time or another.  It’s no big deal as long as you’re honest with yourself in the midst of it and are careful of children’s attachment to parents.

I’m a trained actor with a degree in it, so I know how to have almost instant access to a wide range of emotions, and tears are super easy for me. I spent two years learning how to do that. But I much prefer laughter and happiness as part of my natural personality. Yet when I cry, it feels like a cry for the animus, the male in me that stomps all over my receptive female. My receptive female, all receptive females are beautiful. She is the bearer and producer of life after all. But is she loved and cared for safely the way she should be? Or must she always stroke the male ego to be loved, even if his behavior doesn’t call for it? If love from her partner is conditional based on size and behavior, he cannot say he loves her.  All humans go through hard patches where our self-esteem is bottomed out.  If someone really loves you, and has seen and knows that you have it in you to eventually come out of it, they’ll stay by your side, not bolt.

My experience and intuition tell me that it’s not terribly safe to be an open, loving, female in our society. Most women I know have developed serious defenses now and will even aggressively act out because there is no real equity and heaping amounts of bias based on gender! It’s very similar to unarmed black men being gunned down by police. It’s appalling and tragic!! Women are at about the same level as black men in our society and I’m guessing the stats regarding violence toward women would show this to be true.

Over fifty-four years I’ve maximized my intellect with education, developed firm boundaries in the public workplace (which doesn’t seem to make any difference), insisted on being treated with respect (sometimes it works), focused on my behavior more than my looks (rarely works), and become very focused and skilled in my work. Guys don’t like it. Once I hit my thirties, I learned how to be assertive and opinionated as well. The other thing that goes on is that as a pretty white woman, I feel no obligation to maximize my looks to feed patriarchal bullshit and make myself superficial to manipulate the system. I feel more powerful sitting in my authenticity. Women that aren’t as pretty compete with me or make sure I keep a distance from the man they’re pursuing (so weird) when I’m not even looking at him. He’s usually flirting with me! We are so programmed to believe that survival on this planet depends on finding “our level” as prescribed by the institutions and the media that we don’t even know we’re doing it!

It’s not working. I’m still seen as a girl and treated like a girl. No matter how “male” a woman learns to act in public or how many letters she has behind her name with a high I.Q., she’s still paid less than a man and treated like her first order of business is to give her body to a man or his system for his consumption. I would never get a sex change operation just so I’d have more money for security but it seems like that extreme could be called for. It’s not unlike MJ bleaching his skin to appear more white. That’s how bad our society is for anyone who is not a white male.

Thank goodness I really love my work and do it very well because of all of my dedication and accomplishment. I work with the Universe who always has my back on this rough planet. If it weren’t for my intuition and rational mind guiding me, I’d probably be dead. I very much want to be alive so it’s a good thing.