“I Love You”


hot-fudge-brownie-with

Mmmm, brownies are so good…for a while.

What some people mean by “I love you” is that they are envious, jealous, and covet everything you’ve worked hard to become, and paid an earthly price for. It’s kind of like a brownie you want to eat. You don’t love the brownie, you want to consume and use the brownie for the sugar high, for free if possible. And then you hate the brownie when your sugar crashes.

Then the claim of inspiration comes when really it’s competition. “You inspire me so much! Thank you.” You know they feel uncomfortable or competitive around you if you never hear from them and they don’t want to hang out with you. And if you do hear from them with a smile on their face, they eventually start ripping away at your soul with their addiction self-hate to try to bring you down. Or the conversation turns to offload and they want you to listen to everything about them and refuse to balance the conversation by asking you how you are and listening to you, realizing that you are a human being with needs. As long as it’s back and forth, it’s not offloading. Friends need each other to listen to each other sometimes. I only have two friends like that and they are both men. No women will be reciprocal friends with me and reach out to me. I always have to reach out to them and I’m not doing it anymore.

There is no short cut through others to loving and knowing who you are. I’m not eating that brownie. Once a month I might, but not usually. Loving yourself starts with making the choice to eat nutritious foods and making choices that are good for you because you value your body and your life. That includes being around people who reciprocate because they are capable of caring.

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Self-Interest


being alone

It’s fairly natural and normal for people to put their own self-interests first. After all, if you don’t advocate for yourself, people will put words in your mouth, act as an authority over you and attempt to control you. None of that is good. That said, I tend to be the opposite and put others interests before my own if they are next to me. That’s why I like to be alone most of the time so I can feel myself and not just them. Tat begs the question, ” Why can’t I feelmysel anthe atthe sae time?” I can if I know and trust them.

Being an empath, I’m like a sponge or a cell phone tower picking up the vibes of others and I’m very sensitive to them. I am getting better at shutting it off. But in our offloading, chaotic culture, it’s like a trash heap of vibes and others aren’t even aware they’re doing it so I have my personal defense up.

However, in personal relationships, putting your self-interests ahead of others is selfish and it may be hard for them to get to know you. That may be the way you want it. It’s the way most of us had to function growing up with parents that had expectations of us or were abusive and controlling. I find human beings to be more difficult to deal with than animals or nature to be sure. We’ve learned to survive by being fake or not saying anything at all. I’ve had the problem in partnerships and friendships of caring more about and tuning into the other person more than they do to me. It may be true that I don’t readily express my feelings to others until I feel I can really trust them, which usually doesn’t happen. I’ve learned not to trust most humans. I think millions of people would agree with me. So in my case, I’m more in protective, observation mode than I am interested in myself more than them. In fact, when I’m with someone, I tend to be more interested in them. I am definitely a giver type person and only want to receive from a select few.

What I’m describing here is a sharing element where both parties feel free and safe to express their mood, what’s going on, what they’re working on, how they feel and what they need, knowing that the other one will listen. I will express that if the other person asks but generally I won’t otherwise.

live body in my dream state


Rumi Water

Busy dream night,

Most of it gossamer ethereal as usual.

Then, like a prodigious mammal in the Cimmerian pitch-black

Under my sheets, literally, physically, corporeally

While I was still in my dream state!…

I felt a man curled up next to me…

Substantially, mundanely, sensibly…

But he was not literally THERE.

There was no actual man in bed with me.

I didn’t wake up.

I just remembered it explicitly when I woke up

As quite an odd abeyance.

I think I know who it was

but I don’t know why he was there.

It wasn’t creepy, just surprising.

“I Forgive You”


 

Grudge

“You need to forgive your parents no matter what or you won’t be free. You’ll become enmeshed and then will think about them and talk about them too much to the point of not living within your own body and soul. It could even turn to blame which is handing them power over your life.”-Lisa T.

The word forgive is two words; for and give. So, you give before you’re asked when you forgive. The people who give before they’re asked are in loving relationships. Some religions teach that the Universe gives to us before we even have to ask because of Love. I’m not suggesting we will be or should always be in loving relationships but we could try and tip the scales in their favor.

In terms of intuition, we’re focused on the heart as an organ. We’ve all had a broken heart and it literally is a closing of the heart chakra which affects the heart as an organ. When the heart closes the mind starts to go out of commission and we have all kinds of mental illness manifesting.

The deepest heart scars are memories of child abuse toward us by our parents before we even knew what anything was. This can come in many forms but they are deep wounds given to us by people we relied on for everything. Child abuse is most definitely part of the human condition and human history. It’s nothing unusual at all even though some people would like to portray a romantic fantasy about it not existing. Incest is very common as well, more than we know I’m afraid. It is still taboo and not talked about widely yet.

Given all of that as adults, the first people we need to forgive are our earthly parents who always made mistakes like all of us do. But maybe they were outright bad people! That doesn’t mean you have to be as their child. Learning how to forgive is part of that. If the task of forgiveness hasn’t been achieved, there is not much chance at all for successful bonding with new people as an adult.

Wounded adults who have not forgiven use all kinds of excuses for avoiding intimacy. A common one is they make sure they have more power in a relationship than the other person. If you warn them ahead of time and make sure you’re so powerful emotionally that you hurt the opposite gender first that’s one of their tricks. Another trick is faking appeal to another person’s desire for you and pretending you desire them just to get superficial sex out of them the way you want it…at a distance. Then tell them they’re so hot that you hope they’ll never let the ship sail, then reject them first, sail the ship yourself, and see if they’ll go away or hope they’ll go away. These are games of a weak, wounded person. And they never tell the truth.

 

Not only that, they do not care about what you want or need and make it obvious by playing games. But they will keep telling you what a great person you are appealing to your ego until they want to teach you a lesson and stomp on you. It’s best to extricate yourself before then which means they don’t have you by the ego. All of this is a waste of time and they can’t really draw you in if you are grounded in your center. Simply cut them off and figure out how they got your attention so it doesn’t happen again. The usual lure is lust, at least it is for me. Just keep track of not so much what they say but what they do.

All I know is it’s a turn-off and I’m staying away. These are very manipulative people that had to learn to manipulate adults to survive and to get their way as children. They need a lot of therapy and they have not forgiven their faulty parents! This is what a lack of forgiveness does to the mind. So their cleverness is fully engaged in survival, profit, cynical, and not the least bit interested in reciprocity or love with the opposite sex. It could even turn to narcissism and likely does.

You might want to do some self-inventory and make sure your motivation for work and action in life is detached. Otherwise, you need to do some more forgiveness. Review those types of Platonic Love I posted about and decide that you’re not going to participate with others who are not loving. It may mean celibacy and not as much of a social life but it’s worth it for your health of body and mind.

 

The Greek word Psyche means Intuition


purple woman

In Greek mythology, the word and name Psyche means intuition. It doesn’t mean mind, analysis, rationality, psychology, or psychiatry. The fact is both males and females have intuition but we need to talk about our higher minds as intuition. There is no other purpose for knowing and understanding emotions which manifest in the body unless we’re going to move them up to intuition. Intuition stimulates the higher mind to work in tandem with rationality which is slower. It’s the right and left brains which needs to be equal.

In Greek mythology, Apollo and Dionysus are both sons of Zeus. Apollo is the god of the sun, of rational thinking and order, and appeals to logic, prudence, and purity. Dionysus is the god of wine and dance, of irrationality and chaos, and appeals to emotions and instincts. Both of these characters have become a little problematic for our Psyche or Intuition.

It’s problematic in that we have the degradation of Psyche or Intuition. Even though at the end of her saga which was my last post, Zeus made her immortal. His son Apollo has tried to eclipse her since. In the national divinity of the Greeks, Apollo has been variously recognized as a god of music, truth, and prophecy, healing, the sun and light, plague, poetry, and more. Apollo is the son of Zeus and Leto and has a twin sister, the chaste huntress Artemis.

That sort of explains Apollo’s hyper-masculinity. His twin sister Artemis was the goddess of the hunt and was probably a better shot than him and likely a chaste lesbian. This is just playful conjecture on my part which I feel free to do with myth. Nevertheless, everything in Greek thinking has permeated Western society.

How did Intuition come to be degraded in submission to western, male, rational assessment? Psychology Today explains,

“Intuition is a mental matching game. The brain takes in a situation, does a very quick search of its files, and then finds its best analog among the stored sprawl of memories and knowledge.

From there, you’re able to listen to intuition and develop a “hunch” about a certain situation.

No. Intuition is not a hunch. It’s the psyche knowing what the truth is. It’s the higher mind, many times connected to Spirit or Source, guiding your path. It’s not just a hunch if you interview professional readers and intuitives. We literally can see the energy, events, and people around someone like a movie and tell the client what they are creating or drawing to them or who or what is still hanging around in their space. Then they can change it if they wish now that they’re aware of it. My clients and millions of others always confirm what we see so we know we’re right. Everyone can do this for themselves if they’d open their minds and allow the connection. But there are so many societal biases and fears that most people don’t. It’s a mistake.

It is very insulting to call it “fortune telling”. You create your life in every aspect and we’re just seeing what you’re creating. There is something to destiny but the details of your destiny are chosen by you. This is very important and very empowering as opposed to a therapist telling you that you can’t change your past. We believe that in a way, you can. You can re-vision it to your liking. They may say, “But that’s denial”. Yes. Deny negative circumstances that you ARE aware of and did happen, that you are not denying happened, to remain in your psyche. Stop talking about it, feeling it, and defining yourself by it! Decide for yourself that you no longer need it in this dimension or the people who perpetrated it. You can cut them off if it was very, very bad and I encourage people to do that as long as you’re really done with it. Create something new for yourself that is balanced with who you are and what you want that includes your intuition and rational planning.

There is no need to go off the deep end with emotions or get dramatic about anything. The way to do that is to take care of the body and nutrition, make sure you are grounded in the body and have some structure to your self-care habits especially if you were not raised to take care of your body yourself. That’s very common so again, no need to complain about it. When it comes to physical care, overstep the emotions and just do it no matter what mood you’re in. That re-wires the brain. That’s where you start and any good fitness coach, medical massage therapist, P.T., or Reiki therapist can help you with the bodywork and the rampage of loving your body. I do that all the time with myself and my patients.

Remember that paying for and seeking help with your new life is money well invested and not a sign of weakness but strength. That said, you still have to do most of the work yourself.

Psyche and Eros; They are Intuition and Love


Gerard_FrancoisPascalSimon-Cupid_Psyche_end

Psyche and Eros (Cupid) are the Greek Gods of Intuition and Love. Psyche is the woman on the left and Eros or Cupid has the wings on the right. They are obviously young and virginal, not such a great situation really.

Though Psyche is usually referred to in Roman mythology by her Greek name, her Roman name through direct translation is Anima. The anima and animus have long been used in modern psychology to describe the female and the male respectively. In fact, twin flames are all about the joining of the anima and animus and making them one again in the Hieros Gamos or sacred marriage which does not necessarily mean legal marriage or even sex. It means true love which hovers above mere mortal mundane ritual in a true spiritual sense. The Greek Gods of the Hieros Gamos who wed were Zeus and Hera. It’s mythological, I and my readers probably need to be reminded. That said, these romantic fantasy myths continue to move freely about in our world.

Cupid is sent to shoot Psyche with an arrow so that she may fall in love with something hideous, put up to that by his mother Aphrodite who was jealous of Psyche. She was getting too much admiration from other men, even though they didn’t really want her. He instead scratches himself with his own dart, which makes any living thing fall in love with the first thing it sees. Consequently, he falls deeply in love with Psyche and disobeys his mother’s order.

psyche and eros

Sounds good to me. Well, Psyche and Eros, Intuition and Love are called to accompany sex. If the act becomes mundane and low and fails to lift the human spirit and the human mind which it IS capable of doing, there will be trouble. As we all know, there is trouble in most relationships that are absent true love and respect for intuition and feeling. The ancients knew that.

The story proceeds and Aphrodite, the mother of Eros sends Psyche away to a palace to be with a husband she cannot see. Her two jealous sisters came up to see her with a smile plastered on their faces and proceeded to be as jealous as ever of her and lie to her about who her husband might be. In their opinion, he must be some kind of monster. They convinced her that she should kill him.

When she finally came upon him and saw that he was a beautiful man and that of course, her sisters were wrong, he looked at her in dismay because Psyche had not trusted him. “Love cannot exist without trust” and he left her. This man was Eros, Aphrodite’s son.

Psyche went to Aphrodite who was still jealous of her and asked her to persuade Eros to come back to her. Psyche had to accomplish three tasks to prove her skill. One, she had to separate seeds into groups and the ants helped her. Two, fill a bottle with black water from the River Estige and an Eagle helped her. Aphrodite was furious. Third, take a box to the underworld to Persephone and have her put a bit of her beauty in it. She did happily. Psyche gave Aphrodite the box and she was as mad as ever.

The gods decided to step in on behalf of Psyche to correct all the wrongdoing so Hermes the messenger narrated the true story to Eros, Psyche’s husband. Eros found Psyche exhausted in Aphrodite’s garden. Psyche persuaded Eros to forgive his mother for what she had made her suffer. As a wedding gift, Zeus made Psyche immortal and allowed her to taste ambrosia, the drink of the gods. Even Aphrodite was happy because, now that Psyche was living in the sky with her husband, men on earth had forgotten all about her and were again worshiping the true goddess of beauty. The question for my next blog will be; “Why was Psyche treated so badly on Earth?” I suppose the answer is jealousy. We’ll see.

Source: www.greeka.com

Platonic Love? Which One?


 

Plato

 

Where does the term platonic love come from?

 

“It is named after Greek philosopher Plato, though the philosopher never used the term himself. Platonic love as devised by Plato concerns rising through levels of closeness to wisdom and true beauty from carnal attraction to individual bodies to attraction to souls, and eventually, union with the truth.”

He was also a pedophile so there you have seeds of the modern Greco-Roman Church. I also see in that progression the problem males have with the objectification and emotional attachment to the physical and getting a bit dramatic about that. As I’ve said before, women are very matter of fact about everything physical and attracted to a man’s vibe, affection, and generally whatever gets her motor running about him. We’re not particularly focused on his appearance or body parts as it is for men. Meaning, I’ve heard a man will “fall in love with” a woman’s breasts and marry her just for that; or her face; or her legs. I can’t even fathom being that superficial and most women would agree. This is the foundation of Platonic love designations; the way men love.

What did Plato’s mother do to him as a child? The subject is still not talked about in 2019. What’s interesting to me is that when the word “platonic” is used now, Eros platonic love (see below) is left out, usually by a man who has a whore-madonna or hookup-possession, black and white, passive-aggressive view of the role of women. There is a distinct pride many men take in denying women affection and love but not defecation sex. They know that women need and want affection as much as the sex act itself, maybe more. So there is a power play there. Women have check-mated that by going to the arms of other women or just satisfactorily taking care of themselves and being celibate. Thriving is important in the face of love withholding. I can’t say I blame women if they are in the least bit attracted to other women sexually. At least there are all kinds of love there.

I just ran into the word platonic today in an e-mail and now I need to take a shower because it was used in the context of denying Eros simply because I asked for love and affection with sex from this man who has been my friend for two years. We’ve gone from polyamorous hookup suggestion (Ludus platonic), lusty talk and plans with a mutual attraction to my REALISTIC lover and friend suggestion, to THIS.

I’m not doing PlatonicPhilia which is the way he means it. I don’t jump through men’s definition of relationships hoops because my needs are never met. What a disaster.

I looked up the different types of Platonic love and they are;

  • Eros is sexual or passionate love or a modern perspective of romantic love.
  • Philia is the type of love that is directed towards friendship or goodwill, often is met with mutual benefits *that also can be formed by companionship, dependability, and trust.
  • Storge is the type of love that is found between parents and children, and this is often a unilateral love, meaning a one-way street. Parents love the child but the child does not return it and leaves to form his own love relationships outside of the immediate family. It’s actually natural but many cultures won’t allow the child to become independent.
  • Agape is the universal love, that can consist of the love for strangers, nature, or god.
  • Ludus is a playful and uncommitted love, this is focused for fun and sometimes as a conquest with no strings attached.
  • Pragma is the type of love that is founded on duty and reason, and one’s longer-term interests.
  • Philautia is self-love and this can be healthy or unhealthy; unhealthy if one places oneself above the gods (to the point of hubris), and healthy if it is used to build self-esteem and confidence.

In my personal life, I am ErosPhilia with a lover or two, if the man is mature enough to tolerate it. I’m finding that they usually aren’t. Men emotionally need possession and territory of a woman (the way his mother adored him). The problem there is I’m not his mother.

I tend naturally toward Agape love in my public and work life, having Venus in Pisces. I love at all times which can be confusing for Americans. Since barely anyone really loves in our society on any level, because of lack of authenticity and loving touch, when they encounter someone who loves them at all, they mistake it for Eros or personal love. It’s not, nor can it be in a professional setting. If you’re not friends or have Philia love and know each other well, there can be no Eros. In the State of Michigan, it’s illegal to be in Eros with your clients as a bodyworker so it doesn’t happen.

They say, “There is no wrath like a woman scorned,” but I think there is no wrath like a son of a mentally ill mother who neglected him and possibly abused him sexually. I believe those wounds go deep in men and are largely untapped in terms of public dialogue. A mother’s love is supposed to be the most sacred love on the planet, yet, most men I’ve talked to don’t speak very respectfully of their mothers. I think it’s a complicated relationship for a man, to be sure; the most complicated of his life, bar none. The women he has relationships with bear the brunt of it.

I haven’t thought about or had a platonic relationship since I was in my twenties! Good, God! This idealized, Philia love with no sex is so…dumb and unrealistic. It’s also highly unnatural. Anyway, it’s a good thing I can unpause Zoosk at any point.

you've got to be kidding me

This could be considered a slight move toward lover awareness on his part but the overriding energy of a lover is awesome sex and affection or Eros. It’s not idealized at all! It’s full of Eros, is extremely carnal,  meaning body which is all good. Yes! Come on! The body!

The garden still lies fallow. I hate to say it, but this Platonic Philia crap sounds like religion to me. Next thing I know I’ll be hearing about Church and that he’s saved.

“I Love You”


hot-fudge-brownie-with

What some people mean by “I love you” is that they are envious, jealous, and covet everything you’ve worked hard to become, and paid an earthly price for. It’s kind of like a brownie you want to eat. You don’t love the brownie, you want to consume and use the brownie for the sugar high, for free if possible. And then you hate the brownie when your sugar crashes.

Then the claim of inspiration comes when really it’s competition. “You inspire me so much! Thank you.” You know they feel uncomfortable or competitive around you if you never hear from them and they don’t want to hang out with you. And if you do hear from them with a smile on their face, they eventually start ripping away at your soul with their addiction self-hate to try to bring you down. Or the conversation turns to offload and they want you to listen to everything about them and refuse to balance the conversation by asking you how you are and listening to you, realizing that you are a human being with needs. As long as it’s back and forth, it’s not offloading. Friends need each other to listen to each other sometimes. I only have two friends like that and they are both men. No women will be reciprocal friends with me and reach out to me. I always have to reach out to them and I’m not doing it anymore.

There is no short cut through others to loving and knowing who you are. I’m not eating that brownie. Once a month I might, but not usually. Loving yourself starts with making the choice to eat nutritious foods and making choices that are good for you because you value your body and your life. That includes being around people who reciprocate because they are capable of caring.

Women Feel the Need to be Like a Colorful Male Bird? Yes.


 

 

 

 

I don’t. But many women don’t like to be ignored. Kind, smiling, pretty, plain women are preferred by a husband for marriage (hurrah!) But when it comes to fun, sex, and money, because of the sexual objectification of women, men prefer novice, meanness, titillation, color, and bitchiness. Women are just actors in men’s psychodrama and it’s important for women to see that if they want to choose to lead authentic lives and play no role for anyone. Some men see women as human beings but most don’t. They can’t because we’re more human than them and rival them in a myriad of ways. That’s not something that they can psychologically handle.

In many cultures, men are free to have a wife and a mistress so they can have the status they need and basically have their cake and eat it too. Then the women can choose whichever role they prefer to play for the man as long as patriarchy continues. Women put on all the colorful makeup and clothes, along with gay men.

In nature, the males are bigger and more attractive, dance around and are colorful. The females are just…great the way they are and the colorful men pursue them and show off. I certainly see that with Bruno Mars and the Hooligans. They’re adorable to me! I don’t know what the guys think. I know quite a few women who think they are some fancy birds dancing around and showing their stuff. Most females do love it. That is nature.

But I wonder why our society is topsy turvy, where the women feel the pressure to be colorful; LIKE MEN? I shunned public performance because I’m very feminine and come across shy. I’m not shy with a man one on one…at all. But my nature is female! Why would I want to draw a ton of attention to myself? I do get courted by men but not men that I like. That’s troublesome. It’s because I don’t strut myself like a male bird.

I notice the women on the news are expected to be very aggressive in their tone of voice and buff. Patriarchy essentially means men want men because they feel they are superior to women. Women are viewed as defective by men that cling to patriarchal misogyny…and football. Many men don’t, I know. So women are only desirable if they’re more like a man. That means the man is essentially homosexual. I’ve never heard anyone suggest that but I see it. He prefers males or women that are aggressive or bitchy. Gag me. That’s the alpha way and obviously, I’m beta. No alpha man has ever pursued me and won’t. Good!

Just throwin’ this out there. Women who succeed in public are either very assertive, aggressive or a lesbian. IN NATURE, that is a preponderance of testosterone which is alpha male. Beta women that don’t want to act like a guy are ignored, except by the beta males who are trolls, nerd, artists, and freaks (women are all of that too). It now suggests the issue of alpha vs. beta. I believe our society is moving toward the rise of the Betas.

Compromise With a Partner You Value


 

man and woman talkingThere is much talk lately about never sacrificing yourself in an intimate relationship with a lover or a partner. I agree that it never works to lie or to give up so much of your time and what you want and need to do with your body and energy that you become very unhappy.

I’m single, dating, totally getting healthy and feeling my goddess core after having been to hell and back with men and babies dying; four all together. I have a wonderful son who is twenty. He’s a fabulous man and trying to figure it out as we all did at twenty. As I look for a new partner at the age of fifty-six the landscape and reason for mating is completely different and has completely changed. The younger men don’t even hesitate now to let me know of their interest and I actually really like younger men…as lovers and friends. They are far more open-minded and less biased. But as a mate? I’m truly leaning toward someone my age so that we can support and understand one another.

It seems to me that mating is now more about friendship, cooperation, and helping one another for the second half of our lives. The libido is there and there has to be an attraction but in no way is sex the same because I can’t get pregnant. It’s a big deal and huge incentive to stay mobile, hip, and sexy. As you age you really do need more help, more muscle, and a helpmate for different reasons instead of raising children.

However, there is a big difference now between giving something up of my single life habits in middle age and the sacrifice for my family in my youth. You realize this might be your last hurrah with mating love; real love; not love based on societal marriage and children which is based on family norms and proscribed roles. Love in middle age is completely free. No one has to approve of you because you’re going to have children together.  You’re not going to merge immediate families necessarily. You can if you want, I suppose just out of habit, but there is no obligation to. It doesn’t matter what anyone thinks; at all. There are no expectations on any front because you don’t share DNA with children.

When you value someone’s presence in your life, you let go of a habit or activity and compromise because you want to not because you have to. So there is no more sacrifice. It can be unconditional love. The fact of the matter is, when you have a spouse and children, you HAVE to do certain things. There is no choice whether you like it or not. Honestly, becoming a parent does require sacrifice which is very worth it, is extremely hard but it ends and many people are left alone in their house. Some people hate it. I love it! I really enjoyed having a family but I love my own life too and have been pondering whether I’d want to give up pieces of it for a new mate.

I’d be willing to adjust if I really loved and valued my partner and knew that we were reciprocating. There is no way I’d fall into my old role of jumping when he needed me, jumping when my son needed me, cooking when they’re hungry. Nope. Once in a while, I might but not if I don’t feel like it. There would also be much more space in our togetherness because you really do treasure your alone time after you’ve had a family. The quiet is really priceless.