Here’s to Betas…. red, black, and brown,
Nerds, freaks, and hacks. SubGenius clowns,
Women and children, hit hardest when down,
All stripes and all creeds, fat, shy in all towns.
Full of faith and good deeds all over the place,
No time for much make-up to cover their face
We don’t care about race, place of birth or your tastes,
Your character and actions are Beta Base.
Common sense, no big muscles, not much money in the bank.
What you think is slick we think is skank,
The gasoline that we put in our tank
Is ruining the planet, we have Alphas to thank!
We’re beta, so real that no secrets leak out.
We like normal sex, a good time, knockabout.
Folks with a heart, a core, and three jobs,
Who work, love and vote and don’t whine about snobs.
Let people be different, no victims right here,
respect those with skills or a trade that pays bills!
Don’t let others mistreat you, least of all Alpha straights
who like those like themselves, their gender and rank.
They have shelves and ambition, ideas to spread,
Tons of money, big houses and charge you BIG RENT.
The men prefer men, the women, the women.
Promiscuous, decadence, mighty high livin’.
Tons of muscles, corporate welfare, nice suits, and big gold.
They voted for Trump and Merica has gone cold.
Rise up all you betas, warm it up with respect,
Kill your tech, hoe your garden, talk neighbor neglect.
Speak to others, join in, sing and dance all you want.
Betas gonna come up sure as tomorrow dawns.
“Is human touch and healthcare going to continue to be a patriarchal predatory game physically and financially or is it going to become holistic, legal and gender balanced?-Lisa Townsend, LMT, B.A., Reiki Master
What happens in the massage therapy profession is going to be the harbinger of the future of healthcare in America and the future of gender equity because it’s the public service of touch, healing, and care and how we define that for human beings; for men, women, and children. Healthcare CAN feel good and it’s called holistic healthcare, but it doesn’t include public sex but plenty of intimacy in private sex. It’s time to pivot this.
Touch therapy is potentially bringing down Patriots owner Robert Kraft. It was a spa massage he was getting but it’s still touch. They have no education or a different education and offer sex massage. I have 4 years of education and offer medical massage. We both touch the body and help humans feel better. Human touch is powerful medicine.
I guess Kraft has a great reputation as a good person but has changed significantly since the death of his wife he was married to for almost 50 years. I’m widowed also so I understand. It really is a deep emotional trauma you don’t just shake off. There may be a lot of cynicism around monogamous marriage and partnerships but women and men do tend to become best friends and rely on one another when they live together. That’s love folks, and when you lose your best friend, part of you dies too. Sex and money is hollow succor for friendship with a woman no matter what men say or do. Women feel the same way about friendship with men by the way.
The first thing everyone associates massage therapy with is prostitution, sex trafficking of women and pornography because that is the only way the media portrays us. It’s awful. It affects everyone on all levels of my profession and it’s not a good thing. All of those activities, like militarism, are the direct consequence of patriarchy, its denial of humanity and feelings to men, or, in other words, sexual bonding to women as opposed to objectified sex, and violence due to excessive testosterone and greed. Even within my profession, there is confusion among practitioners as to whether sex is ok or not. There is no confusion legally. The state licenses make it illegal and that is the right thing to do. If you are a massage therapist, you have to have a state health care license.
In patriarchy, men are blamed for all of that illegal activity and grab all the money and institutional power as well; corporate, church, state, and government, so while they’re being blamed they’re being rewarded for the behavior. It creates psychopaths. Women are on distinct shelves based on body type, height, culture, age, health, education, and economic status. You can see the projection of prostitution phantasms all over that.
Objectification and lack of loving touch create depression and psychosis in human beings because we’re souls, not just a body, and massage therapists know it. It makes us completely different than all other health care professionals. Bodyworkers can feel the body’s Qi or consciousness. It’s very normal for us to be tuned in to that and many of us run Reiki.
So now our society is full of psychopaths and depressives because of patriarchy which thrives on the objectification of women through sex and uses massage therapy to do it. Massage therapists innocently step in, and have stepped in, in a very esoteric manner for 10,000 years and helped humanity feel better through touch. It started with mothers massaging their infants. 98% of massage therapists are trained, state-licensed professionals who have been subjected to testing, background checks and fingerprinting just as all healthcare practitioners have to. The vast majority of us are not sex trafficked victims. The vast majority of us know what we’re doing but the education standards are slowly coming up and need to.
Sex trafficking and prostitution don’t hit nursing, P.T.’s and doctors. It hones right in on licensed massage therapists like a laser. Why? Because if massage therapy is done right, it makes you feel better, not worse, which is not the case with modern healthcare and dentistry. No one looks forward to going to the doctor, P.T. or dentist but they do to a massage therapist. That causes them to feel guilty and to connect it in their minds to sex and love because it’s physical and it feels good. The public can’t possibly connect anything that feels good to healthcare. Then the men step in and try to turn it into sex or pornography. It needs to stop! It’s NOT sex and will not be. Sex isn’t love to women but to men it is. There is the disconnect.
Medical massage is redefining massage therapy and healthcare. It goes like this;
- Massage therapy is all about touch, moving the blood with the human hand and feeling better.
- Massage therapy is proven, effective healthcare and doctors and P.T.’s recommend massage therapy all the time.
- Massage therapy is also used by criminals for a sex crime because of patriarchy and short circuits the powerful healing aspects.
Medical massage therapists say that massage therapy is:
- Holistic. It treats the whole person; mind, body, and spirit which are ONE and the same. Neither gender controls the meaning of it. It is both female and male. It affects all 7-12 chakras, not just 1 and 2 which is just sex energy.
- The sex act has NO BUSINESS whatsoever in our offices (the states agree and make it illegal) but is essential to intimacy in our society. Partner or couples massage in private is definitely called for. So is energy awareness and not objectification within our families; men toward women, women toward men and parents toward children.
- Human touch is essential to real healthcare but it has to be done properly with boundaries. Medical Massage therapists can teach it to other healthcare workers.
- The body is made mostly of flesh that contracts and shortens because of emotional and mental stress. Therefore, Soft Tissue Doctors or Naprapaths (D.N.’s) need to be on the front line of ALL healthcare. If health insurance doesn’t cover us, it doesn’t need to exist at all. It’s a bad product without us. Period. The health insurance industry is absolutely unacceptable in every way possible, including as a business model at this moment in time because it refuses to cover licensed holistic health services.
Every massage therapist and holistic practitioner I know care deeply about the physical thriving and survival of life as we know it on this planet. We are at a critical juncture where body balance, gender balance, and cultural balance have to be in place or we are concerned that we aren’t going to make it. Holistic medicine has something vital to say about that. It’s time that the American Federal Government and Americans started to listen. You’re supposed to love yourself and your body and mostly take care of it yourself through basic daily choices. If emotions and habits are hanging you up, massage therapy and Reiki can help move all of that.
More information is hitting me today via my intuition about certain men I know and their behavior. I’ve been trying to figure out how men’s minds work for years now and never gave it much thought when I was younger and had no brothers so now I’m playing catch up. I know you’re more simple than us and I don’t need the lecture that I’m over-thinking.
There are two local men I know (in my town) that I’m sure are in love with me to whom I have zero interest or attraction. I know that sounds harsh, but I’m pretty sure guys are the same way. Some women get your motor running, other’s don’t, even if you “try” to give them a chance. These two men are like a dog with a bone simply based on the fact that several years ago I was nice or warm to both of them. (Please refer to my blog post “Warmth from a woman doesn’t mean she’s attracted to you.”). Also, the attraction over social media or the phone is absolutely bizarre to me. You can’t know any truth that way. Again, it’s just for male fantasy gratification and does nothing for the woman. But that doesn’t matter, does it? Just know that if you don’t actually meet a woman, she will drop you like a hot potato fairly quickly.
So, as I was eating my salad and soda crackers just now it hit me. Men’s minds are based on the fantasy of a woman he’s met or has talked to, not fact. Men’s minds form emotional, sexual fantasies based on projection and his own weaving of fantasy that he wants to believe. He also will project his own image via social media and when you meet him, he won’t necessarily look that way. That’s happened to me too. It’s not that we’re biased about the way you look, it’s that you lied and misled us. That’s going to get you in a heap of trouble guys.
I and every woman I know, are very rational about relationships and men. We look for certain hygiene, clothing, behavior, and financial facts, communication that absolutely tell us whether to let our motor run for you or not. We can control all of that. Yes, we do control all of that, like we’re shopping. I’m not saying that smell, pheromones, looks and such aren’t involved because they are at a very primal level. So yes, women say, “God he has a perfect booty.” and get all lusty, or “He’s super sweet and smart” but not the way men do. Every woman is different but it is never based on GQ crap…ever. However, if his tone of voice with us or the way he acts is vile, that fine booty counts for nothing, nada, zip, zero. We fall in love with the person and the potential for bonding, not your body. That’s how our brains work.
Why is that? Because our arousal is based on your vibe, whether you know us or not, whether you want to know us or not, our feelings, our relationship. You’re falling asleep already reading this and because of that, more women are going to be celibate. We can do that too.
Do you know how easy this face is to fake for women? More women have just given in to a man’s lust who cannot stop staring at and fantasizing about our breasts or pussy and cannot focus or hold a conversation. We’re like, “For god’s sake, listen to me.” No, you can’t listen to us if you’re staring at our lips or crotch and we know it. and motivation, Millions of women make quite a bit of money taking advantage of men’s lack of sophistication when it comes to human relationship mostly through prostitution. You’ve set yourselves up! Improve your intelligence and this won’t happen.
So, you guys are completely irrational about any prospects of truly arousing us or knowing us or bonding because relationships aren’t even on your radar. Or to be fair, maybe you don’t “have” the radar. I am trying to be fair. I don’t think relationship and understanding female behavior is in your wiring and I’m done being mad about it. It’s simple. We need love, affection, and kindness in addition to sex.
This is tragic for women who then fake orgasm or does whatever we have to do for ourselves to enjoy our bodies because our culture has men completely brainwashed to believe that your penis is everything and all we need. That is SO wrong it isn’t even funny. I’ve been with men of all different “sizes”, body size and all the other pieces and it has not mattered one iota whether I was turned on or not. There are specific things that do matter but that’s for another blog. Every woman is different! And what is worse is there are millions of women out there who have given up and just let the man’s fantasies and his penis focus control her love life believing that you will NEVER be astute enough to get our sexuality and how we love.
I have not given up hope yet, but applying some rational fact and getting a handle on those sexual fantasy feelings will be a big step forward.
I welcome any questions. If you think I’m off on something, feel free to call me out but do so in a civil manner, please. I don’t have all the answers and I know I’m not always right.
This is Marilyn vos Savant. She has the highest IQ of any woman in the world…that has been measured.
This is a great article!
The quick answer is jealousy which comes from women and men who resent or feel threatened by a very articulate person if they are not. It seems to me that no matter how good of a job I do or how nice I am, and I am, I’m railed on at some point by those who don’t understand me. Humans are really something. Especially the name-calling and commanding tone when they have no right, whatsoever, to start it up. Primates.
This issue is really floating on the collective society’s surface right now and showed it’s face to me two days ago. I’ve been aware of and dealing with this issue my entire life and have a pretty good coping mechanism in place so that I never feel victimized or lonely.
However, this week, the face of this thing is morphing. I’m seeing it turning around and bouncing off of the white culture (female and male) and the brown cultures (Mexican and East Indian) and the black cultures. I have friends from all of these cultures so that’s why I’m seeing and hearing it.
Men who have been traumatized by a very frustrated mother who turned bitchy or abusive in the home have suffered the most. But I have to say, your mother made you. You wouldn’t be here or have a body no matter what her behavior was once you came out if she hadn’t done her thing. That is enough for gratitude and respect. Does every mother have karma for how she treats her children? Inescapably yes. But men should not let that ruin their minds or their relationships with women. It has though.
However, white men and women don’t see it that way. They hold a grudge, believing that they are in a privileged position in society and should always be treated well, especially by their parents. Personally, my parents were very WASP’y so I was treated well. They never lifted a finger to me and very rarely screamed at me.
The black and brown men I know absolutely respect their mothers and forgive them their wrongs. What black and brown women go through is ten times greater than that of white women but ultimately, all women are pretty much in the same caste system with the brown and black men. We’re at the same social level below white men. White women try to get a leg up in the caste system by mating and marrying white men even though we generally don’t prefer them. This is from my informal surveys of women in my office for twenty years. White men have a sense of entitlement as far as how they’re supposed to be treated. I can absolutely say that the brown men I’ve known, in no way, have that going on and I hope to be on an equal social footing with my mate in the last half of my life.
I can tell by the way brown and black men talk about their mothers and what they do for them that they love and respect their mothers and grandmothers. They don’t always agree or like them but who does? There is no comparison to the way my two white mates spoke about their mothers; with complete derision, calling them stupid and ignorant and saying they wish they’d been adopted.
The hatred of women is coming from the misogynistic white male culture. They especially hate white women. Again, being white, I feel it harks back to the very dysfunctional way that relationships are formed in the white culture; based on ownership, things, money, and property.
That’s all I have on this one. The article really says it all and it ripped me to shreds accepting this issue. Please read it. I’ll have to get back to you on this. It’s pretty much an open wound.
I’m publishing this again because I’m no longer jealous. I figured it out and myself and turned it around. But…this was most definitely true about a month ago. Life is a rampage. We mostly have to tangle with ourselves and what we want. Jealously is projecting your wishes for yourself onto someone else. In this case, who better than my Twin Flame to take the brunt of it. I have to say, I’m not particularly enjoying this journey. There is so much mirroring! It’s a good thing he lives in a western state, 1840 miles away at this point.
God, it’s horrible. I’m not a jealous person but I am right now! I’m never jealous of anyone because I really do love myself generally. Of course, we all have things we need to work on in our character but I do a self-inventory regularly and I’m patient with my process. My issues with men for thirty years turned into resentment and now I see it as jealousy. I’m jealous that by virtue of their gender, what men say, write, and do is taken 100% more seriously than women. When they write a book, it will likely sell. I’m smarter and more literate than most men and it’s doubtful that my non-fiction work will ever get traction. That said I haven’t tried yet because I don’t think it’s perfect. I need to edit it down further. It’s too long.
Have you noticed that women write stories, fiction, and cookbooks and it flies? Unless a woman leaves her receptive femininity and beauty at the door (like Camille Paglia) and is no-holds-barred intellectual, no one will hear a word she says. Women have to display their male characteristics to be heard in public.
I am jealous, I realized, of my Twin Flame. Why did he get to come onto earth in his perfect, thin, small cut male body that doesn’t bleed from the inside and doesn’t feel this neurotic need to sacrifice for his children and nurture others?
Since he is my twin flame, he’s the literal embodiment of my animus. This is part of the Twin Flame journey in facing myself in the mirror. He is perfect physically (although he doesn’t think so) and it makes me sick! He looks exactly the way I always wished I could look since high school. My body was almost exactly like his in high school but less muscle. I was a trim 137 when I was a junior. Both of us are only 5’4″; the same height so there really is no justification for either of us to weigh more than 150.
He doesn’t have all this rampaging estrogen that makes his body thick with the desire to bake cheesecake and cookies, to feed others and be fed. He gets to have all the testosterone that causes him to burn fat much quicker than me because men have more muscle than women, which also gives him more aggression and confidence in the face of life’s challenges where I want to retreat. Women don’t want to fight generally speaking. That’s hormonal! We’re estrogen dominant which makes us peaceful, chatty, and horny.
The worst part is the social advantages. Everybody listens to a man speak his mind no matter what color his skin is, just because he’s a man! Men’s ideas, thoughts, inventions, writing, and words dominate our world. Watch the public panels and meetings, the powerful Congressional committees and the staff of most universities. They’re men. Even white women are below all men in the human caste system. ALL men, every creed, color, intelligence level, criminal or not are listened to and taken more seriously than any woman by virtue of their gender. Well, gender is not a virtue; it’s just a biological difference.
There are many brilliant women on the planet of every creed and color and our ideas and writing need to be acknowledged if they’re good. But can anyone hear a woman’s ideas as good or will their bias always get in the way or her looks be too distracting for you to listen to her? All of our minds have been brainwashed to objectify women. Women especially do it to each other.
If a woman has a bigger brain than boobs in our patriarchal system, she doesn’t have as much power. Who is more famous; Stormy Daniels or Camille Paglia? “Who is Camille Paglia?”, you all say. Exactly.
She’s a brilliant writer and equity feminist that refuses to have sex with men and roots for their just treatment as much as women. I agree with her. Stormy Daniels is a huge chested porn star that had a liaison with Donald Trump, but she’s on the news all the time. The whole world knows who she is.
I’ve got my inner work cut out for me on this one. Jealously is a terrible trait that can only be turned by applying love. I’m not there yet.
I feel like apologizing for always blogging on the feminine intuition, feminist issues and the need for women to empower themselves in the midst of the patriarchal paradigm by using their intuition. But I’m not going to because…I’m a woman! I don’t have a man’s perspective on what it means to be a man right now in the patriarchal system. What I do know is there is still a tremendous amount of unequal power for both men and women, Guys have rough patches too but I’m not sure they know how to express it as well as women. We have the communication advantage in our brains.
Nevertheless, I had a very significant dream last night that is leading me to blog on this difficult topic. It does segue into the Twin Flame phenomenon too because the Twin Flame journey is all about spiritual ascension or spiritual maturing for both parties. It doesn’t have to be heterosexual but in my case it is.
I remember the details of what I was dreaming most of the night and it was run of the mill, nothing exciting; just my mind letting go of habits is what I surmised. Then, a very big, black crow that seemed very real, not ethereal like the rest of the dream, showed up right next to me in my house and quickly flew away with the help of another woman shewing him away. He was pretty big and very alive. I felt no death whatsoever around this bird. He was powerful. This crow was grounded and had his own ways but I was very surprised as soon as I saw him in the house and said, “How did this crow get in here?!” The other woman knew a bird like that should not be in the house and helped me get rid of it.
Now as I’m writing, the crow felt shamanistic or deeply masculine, the cave, and the dark which in my tradition, we usually ascribe to the feminine because of the dark of the womb, the seed, the egg, gestation, the womb, and birth. Male energy is usually the light of the Mind. Everything is shifting right now on the planet and I believe this dream was a harbinger of the sacred masculine balanced with the sacred feminine coming forward. Indeed, that is what the Twin Flame journey is about. Males and females are both light and dark, yin and yang, male and female. We’ve always said that in my field but it’s never actually manifested in our institutions on this planet! That’s been the problem.
This is similar to the actual, real-life appearance of a raccoon in the open skylight on the roof of the cottage in which I was staying in California three weeks ago. He was trying to come in and I had to quickly close the skylight. Both of these animals are totems or archetypes for Blue Monkey in the Mayan System or a Trickster, creator, and mover. It is play, illusion, and magic. But Crow is also a Blue Eagle archetype which is creativity, mind, and vision. They are both Blue so they are closely related in energy. Blue kin is all about transformation. I am definitely doing that right now!
When looking at yin-yang energy, it’s easy to characterize it in a good vs. bad dichotomy. Females are valued and rewarded for being good, warm, loving, small and nurturing and are punished for being bad girls, big, strong, powerful, hypersexual and are slut-shamed. Males are valued for being aggressive (within reason depending on the context), protective, mean (also depending on the context), bad, rebellious, and rampaging anything that’s big! They are punished for being too small, fearful, wimpy, emotional, indecisive and more. These aspects are still entrenched in our system.
As we all know now, in 2018, this is B.S.! Women and men absolutely do share all of these traits and swap them around when they feel like it. God bless America! In our country, we truly do believe human beings have the right to express their true feelings and sexuality even if we don’t rock it in public yet. Everyone still has their secrets.
None of those traits are ascribed in stone to either sex anymore and those that do are so un-hip. Right? On the surface, most women and men still try to rock those boxes but we’re really not supposed to anymore and the younger generation will get in your face about it. My nineteen-year-old hates it when I classify the genders in those boxes. Yet, look at all the leading sports programs, politics, and all the television shows. Men are still very dominant and portrayed in those boxes. It’s a function of patriarchy. Women are seeping in only slowly (female sportscasters) and when they do, they have to act somewhat masculine or just are that way to be socially acceptable! The women can’t act very feminine yet. It’s taboo.
Where is the sacred masculine in all of this? The earth. The ways of nature are male and female. Whenever the natural forces of procreation are challenged, the powerful earth energy steps in. Strong drumming evokes the balance of the male/female energies in sex and alignment, equally! The earth loves her daughters and her sons equally and wants them to walk together in balance on her. It’s only humans all over the world that still prefer sons. Men who love and take care of their bodies, who honor their strong feelings and inclinations, who are creative souls and express themselves in their art, who still want to fuck with abandon and feel no shame just like the animals and the insects.
Men are men and women are women. But we are more similar than different by nature and we both can embody bad and good traits without judgment if we just loosen up those boundaries and deeply feel our bodies and drop the definitions of who we are by Church, state, and media. And we both need to love ourselves as we are.
You have to see this. Trust me, you will dig it! Just click.
You won’t believe this woman. She is very talented and super beautiful.
A connection is an affinity, an ease of communication, an understanding of another person, a desire to get to know someone better, the real possibility of a lasting friendship, and for women, respect. For men, it’s a huge turn-off to contemplate respecting a woman although most won’t admit it.
A connection does not denote love, being in love, physical attraction, desire for sex, desire to get married, desire to live with you, dreaming of a future, desire for a boyfriend, an attempt to control the other person, or dependency. Just because a guy feels a connection to a woman he really…should not freak out in fear that she’s going to control him with her feminine ways and make him give her babies. Or, post-reproduction, make him grow up and face and express his feelings. Most of us are too busy to try to control you. We ask that you organize yourselves. That’s usually asking too much though.
Interdependent connection between a woman and a man means you each have your own lives, take responsibility for knowing and expressing how you feel, making your own physical appointments, have boundaries that you agree on for privacy, but depend on each other for whatever you’re comfortable with which is usually quite a bit; affection, sex, sharing food duties, household chores, and child and pet care. Personally, though, I think couples need to have their own money and manage it themselves but sometimes merging it makes a bigger pile obviously. However, spending priorities can cause a divorce so, in that case, keep it separate.
I happened to be sitting next to a guy at a bar several months ago and he got a text from a woman he’d been dating. He told me she was really hot (like I need to know that. He wanted me to know that). She had just texted that she was willing to help him decorate his new place. He complained to me that that was intrusive and overcontrolling of her. I just shook my head. Men. You overinterpret us just being nice, way too much. We just like to do girly stuff.
You also make an awful lot of dumb assumptions about our sexual prowess and skill based on our body shape and size. That’s like assuming an orange that’s bigger than the other ones won’t taste as good pulling it off the tree when it truth, it will likely be sweeter and juicier! Your loss dude. Think through stuff more. A smart woman in life is a smart woman in bed, no matter her size. And if she’s smart, she’ll be detached in her feelings and won’t necessarily want you to stay. We independent types like the whole bed to ourselves. You’re programmed to prefer thin women and that’s just dumb.
Another guy I sat next to one time pointed out a large-sized waitress and said, “She looks good to me. It makes me hungry looking at her.” I’m thinking, “Does he see her as a roast chicken and potatoes or a human being?” I mean really! It would have been funny if it wasn’t so stupid! Again, I shook my head.
Women have given up on all of that. A simple connection means you guys stay calm enough, nixing the drama and fear, that we can have your short attention span for maybe ten minutes? Most women won’t settle for that anymore and many women are just going to women; lesbianism. The only women left who want you will be women that want babies and that will be all they want from you if that’s the only skill you’ve developed. But if you flirt, don’t lie about it and act like you haven’t. All guys flirt even just to see how far he can get, even if he doesn’t mean it. But if you flirt, and we flirt back, you better deliver dude.
Most women are independent, not dependent. Women “act” dependent for your ego. That’s it. Most women have an education and know they need to have their own money because let’s face it; most of the time you use your money to try to control us and then die or walk out and we would have no money. No woman wants to be controlled and penniless. There’s no room for love to grow there and no security for us. All women want love before anything else but many women have compromised for so long, not having the connection and affection they need that they’re out of touch with their body. Just sex is just the worst for us. It’s Mcdrive-thru Sex. Horrid. It also tells us you aren’t very bright. Only dogs just fuck and eat fast food for God’s sake.
I’ve known more than one man who I had friendship and affinity with and flirting, run the other way because I returned it. I’m mystified. We’re not supposed to like you back or you split? Are we just supposed to stand there, bask in it, and look pretty, never say anything smart and let you control every aspect of the relationship to your comfort level because you’re so insecure? That’s the only way you’ll come back or stick around? Oh well then, see ya!
“You can’t judge a book by its cover,” my Dad said as he was backing out of the driveway of Grandma’s house (his mother). I remember sitting in the backseat of our old Buick in the 70’s as a little girl and this is one of the few things my father said off the cuff that sank into my little brain like a brick floating to the bottom of the lake. Aren’t those odd moments when your mind picks up what someone teaches you and for some nebulous reason, you never forget it! While it’s happening, you can feel how heavy and solid their words are and you have no idea why.
For God’s sake, as an adult, I realize that so much of my father’s values didn’t square with his behavior, but sometimes it did. Is that incongruity, that double-dipping into our own psyche just part of being human? He lusted after Barbara Eden right in front of us as children but we always thought it was funny because Mom looked very much like her, so that was ok. He always paid the bills and went to work, ran for public office and attended church three times a week, but the hypocrisy was generally there in other ways.
This post isn’t about my father, but he and my mother both instilled in me, actually by a good example, that life was not about looks or climbing a social ladder and neither of them did it either. Sure, there were family secrets, but on this score, they rated high. They really taught me not to objectify myself, even though I was very pretty and talented from a young age. Mom did some anyway, but Dad countered it, maybe as a kind of competition with her and his freedom training won the day with me. My mom did not get her way.
I recently just heard about beauty bias. That may sound lame but I don’t pay much attention to or take seriously, how people look. I take care of myself, have lost weight, and naturally look 40 even though I’m 55. I’m not trying to. I just live healthily. Now I am seriously treated differently by men and women. The men are coming after me more, even the ones in their twenties and the women are competing with me or maybe jealous and treating me worse. They’re going to have a hard time hating me though because I’ve been to hell and back with men I love dying. Their pity and sympathy may counter their jealousy for a bit longer. I’m sure their conscience will twist and knot around them if they start to go into that dark tunnel. I’m so aware of how the percentages change based on social expectation. “Why is she doing so well when she’s been through what no normal person goes through?” , must be the question ringing in their heads. I think it’s hilarious. Because they don’t have an answer, I’m treated a bit like a leper, a miscreant, a freak.
This post isn’t about them either. Beauty and intelligence bias which is seriously real and has been well-documented is repugnant to me and seriously foisted on those of us that have a plethora of both like a millstone around our necks. It’s just more superficial garbage from a culture that knows no bounds to objectification. My value system and my heart seriously care about most human beings and sees the world through spiritual eyes…because I want to; because I can. I haven’t absorbed the values of our larger society or our world. As my alcoholic sister say’s to me, “You’re a freak! Maybe she’s right which means I’m also a selfish bitch by her estimation. Never mind her. I know I’m neither of those things and I do love myself and the life I’ve chosen. The woman was born hating herself and her life and learned very little during the time she’s been given. There is no way my parents could have treated her worse than she’s treated herself and others.
This post isn’t about her either. It’s just amazing the masks we all have to wear to explain these outside layers. How does anyone really know who we are, including ourselves? Writers know that the books we write ARE judged by their covers and we’re told to spend plenty of time and money picking it out. It’s the magnet for people to buy the book. But how many people actually read the book? Maybe they just look at the cover.
My book is about how beauty bias objectification from men toward me has ruined every job I’ve ever been in and slowed down my progress to be taken seriously for my skill, ideas, and intelligence. I don’t think I’ll ever be healed from that shit until I’m dead but I’m sure not going to stop talking or writing even though people’s brains can barely listen to a word I, or others like me, say.
My last post was about men as subject, women as object and how that can pivot so that men are objectified as well under the paradigm of patriarchy. That’s not something that most women are aware of. First, let me remind my readers that neither male nor female dominance in a civilization is ideal. We came from 5000 years of matriarchy which preceded patriarchy and now we are shifting again. My hope is that we don’t go back to the mistakes and abuses of matriarchy just because it’s in our collective unconscious ancestral memory. I believe women have evolved ahead of men but men have come a long way as well in 5000 years. The idea here is for humanity and the earth to move into our conscious minds, or reasonable mind engendered by the balance between intuition and rationality. That will then fill our households, the foundation of our societies the world over.
Gender equity or balance of power will lead us to less militarism, more peace, more great sex, and more love. Yes, I’m an idealist but some partners are succeeding. It occurred to me yesterday that when you have the subject-object system going, which is what patriarchy thrives on, both subject and object, both men and women are sacrificed for the profit of the 1% on the planet, even though patriarchy makes it appear as though men are in charge. They aren’t really. They only have what women let them have. Imagine for a moment the suggestion of “Lysistrata” coming to pass?
Lysistrata is a Greek comedy written by Aristophanes about women boycotting sex with men in order to quell the endless wars of that age. What if today, women all over the planet found the wherewithal to stop making porn videos altogether, stopped having sex with their husbands/boyfriends/partners, and halted reproduction until men got the message of respecting our humanity and not just looking to us for sex and food attention but as a friend and a mate? Maybe this is what lesbians wish would happen. There is a whole group of feminists that believe that until women take full charge of their body and stop sharing it with men, women don’t stand a chance of true liberation. I just ponder that in my circumstantial celibacy. I will say that it’s truly empowering to live alone and be in full charge of my body and my physical energy as a female. I’ve become fully aware of how much all of the men I’ve known have taken sex and food from me and how little they’ve truly given back. It’s not an awareness I relish and I’m certainly not saying that I believe all men do that.
Subjects are sacrificed to the 1% who in turn are brainwashed or socially engineered to sacrifice the objects. Men are “subjected” to the dictates of family, state, church, and corporation and sacrificed and rewarded for handing over the control of their heart and mind to that. That’s how Trump got elected in provincial, small-town America which is trapped in it’s subconscious, family-programmed mind!
Part of the purpose of the social engineering is to objectify and eat women for breakfast. Women are to be consumed; sexual consumption and food consumption. Men are not taught to see us as full human beings with a mind and heart but to overlook all of that, no matter how smart or successful we are in order to objectify and subsume us; no matter what. Her provision of children is only a mask for the man that makes him appear more socially acceptable to all of the institutions listed above. Let’s not forget that he is not acting from a whole heart and mind. If he did, he would be a damned artist or poet, drugged in a psych ward and living on the fringes. We can’t have that frightful prospect, can we? I’m half kidding.
There are millions of men and women who are free spirits and see through the charade of civilization though and we own houses, pay our bills and mow the lawn. It does take guts to join us though and we’re usually not rich.
So you see the subject-object title is interchangeable. The subjects are also brought to be objects for the elite; especially in war (the honored dead, mostly male), in sports, and in corporate life. It’s incumbent on men and women to jump out of the subject-object roles and live a free life.
“My Kite” by Paige Bradley