Essay; Platonic Love? Which One?


 

Plato

Where does the term platonic love come from?

 

“It is named after Greek philosopher Plato, though the philosopher never used the term himself. Platonic love as devised by Plato concerns rising through levels of closeness to wisdom and true beauty from carnal attraction to individual bodies to attraction to souls, and eventually, union with the truth.”

He was also a pedophile so there you have seeds of the modern Greco-Roman Church. I also see in that progression the problem males have with the objectification and emotional attachment to the physical and getting a bit dramatic about that. As I’ve said before, women are very matter of fact about everything physical and attracted to a man’s vibe, affection, and generally whatever gets her motor running about him. We’re not particularly focused on his appearance or body parts as it is for men. Meaning, I’ve heard a man will “fall in love with” a woman’s breasts and marry her just for that; or her face; or her legs. I can’t even fathom being that superficial and most women would agree. This is the foundation of Platonic love designations; the way men love.

What did Plato’s mother do to him as a child? The subject is still not talked about in 2019. What’s interesting to me is that when the word “platonic” is used now, Eros platonic love (see below) is left out, usually by a man who has a whore-madonna or hookup-possession, black and white, passive-aggressive view of the role of women. There is a distinct pride many men take in denying women affection and love but not defecation sex. They know that women need and want affection as much as the sex act itself, maybe more. So there is a power play there. Women have check-mated that by going to the arms of other women or just satisfactorily taking care of themselves and being celibate. Thriving is important in the face of love withholding. I can’t say I blame women if they are in the least bit attracted to other women sexually. At least there are all kinds of love there.

I just ran into the word platonic today in an e-mail and now I need to take a shower because it was used in the context of denying Eros simply because I asked for love and affection with sex from this man who has been my friend for two years. We’ve gone from polyamorous hookup suggestion (Ludus platonic), lusty talk and plans with a mutual attraction to my REALISTIC lover and friend suggestion, to THIS.

I’m not doing PlatonicPhilia which is the way he means it. I don’t jump through men’s definition of relationships hoops because my needs are never met. What a disaster.

I looked up the different types of Platonic love and they are;

  • Eros is sexual or passionate love or a modern perspective of romantic love.
  • Philia is the type of love that is directed towards friendship or goodwill, often is met with mutual benefits *that also can be formed by companionship, dependability, and trust.
  • Storge is the type of love that is found between parents and children, and this is often a unilateral love, meaning a one-way street. Parents love the child but the child does not return it and leaves to form his own love relationships outside of the immediate family. It’s actually natural but many cultures won’t allow the child to become independent.
  • Agape is the universal love, that can consist of the love for strangers, nature, or god.
  • Ludus is playful and uncommitted love, this is focused for fun and sometimes as a conquest with no strings attached.
  • Pragma is the type of love that is founded on duty and reason, and one’s longer-term interests.
  • Philautia is self-love and this can be healthy or unhealthy; unhealthy if one places oneself above the gods (to the point of hubris), and healthy if it is used to build self-esteem and confidence.

In my personal life, I am ErosPhilia with a lover or two, if the man is mature enough to tolerate it. I’m finding that they usually aren’t. Men emotionally need possession and territory of a woman (the way his mother adored him). The problem there is I’m not his mother.

I tend naturally toward Agape love in my public and work life, having Venus in Pisces. I love at all times which can be confusing for Americans. Since barely anyone really loves in our society on any level, because of lack of authenticity and loving touch, when they encounter someone who loves them at all, they mistake it for Eros or personal love. It’s not, nor can it be in a professional setting. If you’re not friends or have Philia love and know each other well, there can be no Eros. In the State of Michigan, it’s illegal to be in Eros with your clients as a bodyworker so it doesn’t happen.

They say, “There is no wrath like a woman scorned,” but I think there is no wrath like a son of a mentally ill mother who neglected him and possibly abused him sexually. I believe those wounds go deep in men and are largely untapped in terms of public dialogue. A mother’s love is supposed to be the most sacred love on the planet, yet, most men I’ve talked to don’t speak very respectfully of their mothers. I think it’s a complicated relationship for a man, to be sure; the most complicated of his life, bar none. The women he has relationships with bear the brunt of it.

I haven’t thought about or had a platonic relationship since I was in my twenties! Good, God! This idealized, Philia love with no sex is so…dumb and unrealistic. It’s also highly unnatural. Anyway, it’s a good thing I can unpause Zoosk at any point.

you've got to be kidding me

This could be considered a slight move toward lover awareness on his part but the overriding energy of a lover is awesome sex and affection or Eros. It’s not idealized at all! It’s full of Eros, is extremely carnal,  meaning body which is all good. Yes! Come on! The body!

The garden still lies fallow. I hate to say it, but this Platonic Philia crap sounds like religion to me. Next thing I know I’ll be hearing about Church and that he’s saved.

Essay; Why Do People Hate Smart Women?


Marilyn Vos Savant

This is Marilyn vos Savant. She has the highest IQ of any woman in the world…that has been measured.

This is a great article!

Why Do People Hate Smart Women?

The simple answer is because most of them aren’t so it’s jealousy which comes from women and men who resent or feel threatened by a very articulate person if they are not. It seems to me that no matter how good of a job I do or how nice I am, and I am, I’m railed on at some point by those who don’t understand me. Humans are really something. Especially the name-calling and commanding tone when they have no right, whatsoever, to start it up. Primates.

This issue is really floating on the collective society’s surface right now and showed it’s face to me two days ago. I’ve been aware of and dealing with this issue my entire life and have a pretty good coping mechanism in place so that I never feel victimized or lonely.

However, this week, the face of this thing is morphing. I’m seeing it turning around and bouncing off of the white culture (female and male) and the brown cultures (Mexican and East Indian) and the black cultures. I have friends from all of these cultures so that’s why I’m seeing and hearing it.

The Mother

Men who have been traumatized by a very frustrated mother who turned bitchy or abusive in the home have suffered the most. But I have to say, your mother made you. You wouldn’t be here or have a body no matter what her behavior was once you came out if she hadn’t done her thing. That is enough for gratitude and respect. Does every mother have karma for how she treats her children? Inescapably yes. But men should not let that ruin their minds or their relationships with women. It has though.

However, white men and women don’t see it that way. They hold a grudge, believing that they are in a privileged position in society and should always be treated well, especially by their parents. Personally, my parents were very WASP’y so I was treated well. They never lifted a finger to me and very rarely screamed at me.

The hatred of women is coming from the misogynistic white male culture. They especially hate white women. Again, being white, I feel it harks back to the very dysfunctional way that relationships are formed in the white culture; based on ownership, things, money, and property.

That’s all I have on this one. The article really says it all and it ripped me to shreds accepting this issue. Please read it. I’ll have to get back to you on this. It’s pretty much an open wound.

Essay; The Anima and The Animus


anima and animus

I’ve always been fascinated by the inner male inside the female (animus) and the inner female inside the male (anima). The terms were coined by the psychologist C.G. Jung.  It seems to me that humans intuitively know we each have those energies as part of our identity to some degree without over-analyzing it. Women and men are both female and male! It’s one of the reasons that the homosexual lifestyle really doesn’t bother most Americans. A Pew Research poll taken in 2017 showed that 62% of Americans support same-sex marriage. We all know that we’re learning about our bodies and our feelings whether we’re attracted to female or male at one time or another.  It’s no big deal as long as you’re honest with yourself in the midst of it and are careful of children’s attachment to parents.

I’m a trained actor with a degree in it, so I know how to have almost instant access to a wide range of emotions, and tears are super easy for me. I spent two years learning how to do that. But I much prefer laughter and happiness as part of my natural personality. Yet when I cry, it feels like a cry for the animus, the male in me that stomps all over my receptive female. My receptive female, all receptive females are beautiful. She is the bearer and producer of life after all. But is she loved and cared for safely the way she should be? Or must she always stroke the male ego to be loved, even if his behavior doesn’t call for it? If love from her partner is conditional based on size and behavior, he cannot say he loves her.  All humans go through hard patches where our self-esteem is bottomed out.  If someone really loves you, and has seen and knows that you have it in you to eventually come out of it, they’ll stay by your side, not bolt.

My experience and intuition tell me that it’s not terribly safe to be an open, loving, female in our society. Most women I know have developed serious defenses now and will even aggressively act out because there is no real equity and heaping amounts of bias based on gender! It’s very similar to unarmed black men being gunned down by police. It’s appalling and tragic!! Women are at about the same level as black men in our society and I’m guessing the stats regarding violence toward women would show this to be true.

Over fifty-four years I’ve maximized my intellect with education, developed firm boundaries in the public workplace (which doesn’t seem to make any difference), insisted on being treated with respect (sometimes it works), focused on my behavior more than my looks (rarely works), and become very focused and skilled in my work. Guys don’t like it. Once I hit my thirties, I learned how to be assertive and opinionated as well. The other thing that goes on is that as a pretty white woman, I feel no obligation to maximize my looks to feed patriarchal bullshit and make myself superficial to manipulate the system. I feel more powerful sitting in my authenticity. Women that aren’t as pretty compete with me or make sure I keep a distance from the man they’re pursuing (so weird) when I’m not even looking at him. He’s usually flirting with me! We are so programmed to believe that survival on this planet depends on finding “our level” as prescribed by the institutions and the media that we don’t even know we’re doing it!

It’s not working. I’m still seen as a girl and treated like a girl. No matter how “male” a woman learns to act in public or how many letters she has behind her name with a high I.Q., she’s still paid less than a man and treated like her first order of business is to give her body to a man or his system for his consumption. I would never get a sex change operation just so I’d have more money for security but it seems like that extreme could be called for. It’s not unlike MJ bleaching his skin to appear more white. That’s how bad our society is for anyone who is not a white male.

Thank goodness I really love my work and do it very well because of all of my dedication and accomplishment. I work with the Universe who always has my back on this rough planet. If it weren’t for my intuition and rational mind guiding me, I’d probably be dead. I very much want to be alive so it’s a good thing.