For Women; Red Flags to Spot Bisexual Men


anima and animus

If you’re not looking for a heterosexual partnership, then none of this will matter to you. I am looking for that. This is the second time it’s happened to me and now I’ve learned to spot the cues. Please note, this is not a judgment in any way, shape or form of bisexual men. However, I feel they should be upfront about being bisexual if they are active before they ask you to have sex with them. This last fellow was not honest, at all, presents as straight in public and may be in the closet. In fact, he’s faked out quite a few women to take advantage of them.

The cues are:

  1. They’ve never been married and have no children even in their 50’s.
  2. They admit they’ve been serious with 2-3 women in their life.
  3. They admit they do not want a relationship. In other words, they are promiscuous or at least polyamorous.
  4. They admit having unresolved childhood abuse issues.
  5. They call multiple women sweetie, honey, throw around the kissing emoji’s on social media like they’re candy, and are very goopy publicly with straight women. No straight guy is like that with women. No way no how. It’s gay.
  6. He is very good looking and does all the superficial landscaping and tanning of his body to lure women in like Fabio. LOL
  7. He likes money and to be perceived as alpha compared to straight men
  8. Most of his followers are women
  9. Most of his activity is on social media, not in person because he knows you’ll be able to scope him out too easily and learn the truth.

What do you think? Have you known men like this? Am I onto something or am I off? No hate mail, please.

You may be alone or single and in need of male attention which makes you vulnerable. After all, straight guys are not known for being very expressive, romantic, or sweet; not like gay men! Some women like or need that more than others which makes you an easy touch for a good looking bi-sexual man who will use and throw you.

You’ve been warned. Being a straight woman is no picnic these days because straight men are in the throes of social change. As you know from reading my blogs, I endorse self-care and not needing a man to adore you. The synchronicities start to line up and it’s very likely you’ll attract a soul mate or your Twin Flame as you center yourself in self-love. That’s where I’m finally sitting. Being lusty about men has gotten me into a heap of trouble. I’ve decided it’s not worth it anymore.

 

Essay; Intimacy and Intuition


Private & Passionate Prose-Cover jpg

Intimacy means feelings and bonding with sex. It’s true friendship, not territory, ownership, or marriage necessarily.  I have a feeling men would say sex is intimacy because that’s as far as most of them go. Sex IS their feeling like hunger IS their feeling and for them, it is deep and significant. Anything physical is very emotional for men; like being sick or succeeding in a sport or having a lot of money. They love “things” and have emotions about “things”. They freak out like a little kid and women make fun of them too much regarding those things. Women all know this but not all women are loving and patient about it. Women view bonding and relationship as transcendent over the physical. It’s spiritual for us.

I’ve decided that I’m tired of acting so detached with men (mimicking them!) when the truth is, I do have feelings. I’m a girl! I’m sick of feeling like I have to act like a guy or a hook-up prostitute to get any attention or bonding with a man. Or maybe I don’t want the bonding then! The promiscuity with women, the super-rationality and denial of emotion, the negative feelings about their mother and the resistance to real intimacy with a woman is a turn-off to me. Comments like, “I can’t live with a woman.”, “I don’t have relationships with women.” No heterosexual man has ever said things like that to me but that’s what I’m hearing lately from men who profess to be straight. Are they straight or do they really prefer someone like themselves; another man? There is no way they could love a woman?

Straight guys actively pursue a woman they’re attracted to, get to know her in person, want to have sex with her and see where it goes from there! You know a guy wants you when they contact you and want to “be in touch”. If they don’t, they don’t want you.

There is a little conundrum here for me. Women need physical confirmation of attraction, in person, before we invest more time and communication with a certain fellow. That’s what women need. I’ve heard men say they don’t. I don’t believe it but there is something handy about one step removed I suppose. I think it’s odd.

One thing Zoosk has taught me is that meeting a guy on social media and in-person are night and day. I’m done with that now because none of the men are very happy. I have to date a man before it progresses any further and feel a friendship there. End of story. And any man who expects sex on the first date is not interested in loving a woman at least as a friend. He must demonstrate it or he is not capable of it in which case, this woman will never have sex with him.

It’s pretty simple for me. I’m literally not turned on if there is no affinity, no warmth, no sincere affection, no love. Women are super intuitive with regard to the truth about a guy’s real feelings so there is no worry. If he has no feelings, neither do I and for me, that means no sex. The only way a guy can get around that is if he finds a woman willing to deny herself, her core, and her needs which unfortunately is all too easy these days.

Essay; The Honest Middle Ground


man and woman

My last post, I made the point that I’m not interested in fawning adoration that leads to possessive marriage. Every woman I know is at a different point with this but it has to do with emotional maturity and financial independence. Most women don’t prefer marriage, from what I’ve gathered, unless they’re getting some type of needed security. But most of us aren’t interested in shallow hook-ups either! Some men get this, some don’t. It’s hard to believe. We know respecting a woman may be a turn-off to most men but you have to show respect to most women. We can tell if you’re sincere or not.

I’ll speak for myself

Friendship, attraction, love, and care are what I want and need. It’s the honest middle ground. Women are human beings. Does it really depend on what culture you come from as to whether you treat women as human beings? This needs to be a universal understanding. Possession in marriage, to some of us, is an insult. I’m a free person with my own life, work, and money. I’m not on the planet to soothe a man’s ego just as he is not soothing mine! Promiscuity is a hook-up with a stranger and is also an insult as I’m not a sex toy or the least bit turned on by strange men, for god’s sake. I guess I’m making the assumption that true love in marriage is Disneyland in my view. I know many disagree with me and that’s fine. I’ll entertain the notion but I’ve been married three times and there has never been true love.

Promiscuity or Possession

They are two far ends of the patriarchal spectrum that have been dominating our rules of relationships for hundreds of years. Lack of boundaries on the promiscuity end or lying on the possession end with a double standard applied to women allow men to rule the day. For men, getting continual sex by feigning a relationship via marriage has been the ritual. It also raises their status. For women, getting a fake, romantic relationship by giving sex in marriage has been the way women have manifested their true love; our children. That’s not good for women or children. I prefer mutual love with a man, not my children. Children end up rebelling against their parents anyway as it is nature. Women are adults and our roles and skills exceed motherhood. Children grow up and the parents need to let them go! It’s very dysfunctional not to. It’s a bad deal where no ones needs really get met, thus the divorce rate. That, and barely anyone is telling the truth; women or men.

The Honest Middle Ground

Lovers; Cat-type women could mate with cat-type men. I already posted on it. We tend to be interdependent and intelligent. Being a cat-type woman, I’ve been called strong and stubborn far too much. I am neither of those. In fact, I’m extremely warm, soft, sensitive, and vulnerable inside. It gives me a very strong heart. Stubborn is a misnomer. I know my own mind, what I need and say it and do it myself. That is still extremely taboo in our culture which still places coddling the male ego above everyone and everything else.

Are you a cat or a dog?

Bitches could mate with dog-type men that need a controlling trainer, someone willing to teach them how to be humane and will feed and groom them. If your man tends to be hungry and looks at you like a roast chicken then this may be the one for you. Many women are into this and many men find it sexy. I don’t but that’s because I’m a cat. Still, I don’t judge the bitches! I remember as a young girl realizing I wasn’t willing to function in this role with men. It’s a funny memory and really speaks to my inner nature. I’m finally honoring it without judging myself.

There is Much Wiggle Room

I’m not sure about the rest of the details but they depend on your couple dynamic. Are you polyamorous lovers or monogamous? Cheating on your monogamous girlfriend who is mad at you and has put you out of the house and into the dog house is not a license to be polyamorous by the way. You need to discuss the issue and either move forward or break up. My Twin Flame tried to pull this one. He was treating me like a possible option without telling me a woman with her toothbrush lives with him! I think deep down he’s a cat but he’s acting like a dog at the moment so no doubt he needs a bitch trainer. That’s fine with me. I’m not doing it. He is extremely intelligent, creative, and independent but I think he judges himself for it because most of the men in his culture are not cats. He very much seeks to fit in socially. He does tend to have himself in a provincial, cultural box that makes me want to scream. There is something else holding him up emotionally. I know what it is but I digress. Time will tell.

Men, be careful approaching women you don’t know. Are they cat-like or dog-like? Don’t make assumptions! The same goes for women. You need to know who you’re dealing with and the rest is negotiable.

 

 

 

 

Essay; Women Feel the Need to be Like a Colorful Male Bird? Yes.


 

I don’t. But many women don’t like to be ignored. Kind, smiling, pretty, plain women are preferred by a husband for marriage (hurrah!) But when it comes to fun, sex, and money, because of the sexual objectification of women, men prefer novice, meanness, titillation, color, and bitchiness. Women are just actors in men’s psychodrama and it’s important for women to see that if they want to choose to lead authentic lives and play no role for anyone. Some men see women as human beings but most don’t. They can’t because we’re more human than them and rival them in a myriad of ways. That’s not something that they can psychologically handle.

In many cultures, men are free to have a wife and a mistress so they can have the status they need and basically have their cake and eat it too. Then the women can choose whichever role they prefer to play for the man as long as patriarchy continues. Women put on all the colorful makeup and clothes, along with gay men.

In nature, the males are bigger and more attractive, dance around and are colorful. The females are just…great the way they are and the colorful men pursue them and show off. I certainly see that with Bruno Mars and the Hooligans. They’re adorable to me! I don’t know what the guys think. I know quite a few women who think they are some fancy birds dancing around and showing their stuff. Most females do love it. That is nature.

But I wonder why our society is topsy turvy, where the women feel the pressure to be colorful; LIKE MEN? I shunned public performance because I’m very feminine and come across shy. I’m not shy with a man one on one…at all. But my nature is female! Why would I want to draw a ton of attention to myself? I do get courted by men but not men that I like. That’s troublesome. It’s because I don’t strut myself like a male bird.

I notice the women on the news are expected to be very aggressive in their tone of voice and buff. Patriarchy essentially means men want men because they feel they are superior to women. Women are viewed as defective by men that cling to patriarchal misogyny…and football. Many men don’t, I know. So women are only desirable if they’re more like a man. That means the man is essentially homosexual. I’ve never heard anyone suggest that but I see it. He prefers males or women that are aggressive or bitchy. Gag me. That’s the alpha way and obviously, I’m beta. No alpha man has ever pursued me and won’t. Good!

Just throwin’ this out there. Women who succeed in public are either very assertive, aggressive or a lesbian. IN NATURE, that is a preponderance of testosterone which is alpha male. Beta women that don’t want to act like a guy are ignored, except by the beta males who are trolls, nerd, artists, and freaks (women are all of that too). It now suggests the issue of alpha vs. beta. I believe our society is moving toward the rise of the Betas.

Essay; The Way to a Woman’s ….. is Through Her Heart


 

man-looking-at-checking-out-woman

This is a very enlightening article, but I’m not sure it’s very realistic. It’s ambitious I guess.

Can a Man Be Friends with A Woman He’s Sexually Attracted To?

Over the past thirty years or so, there has been a consistent aspect of men I’ve observed repeatedly. They have the ability to very detached from their feelings or be aware of no feelings at all. They’re able to turn it off and focus on the task at hand, sometimes with cold, hard, logic. The challenge here is that men want to have sex with a very emotional creature; a woman (if you’re straight). If you don’t understand or feel your own feelings what are you going to do? How will you please a woman if you don’t know yourself? Fake it? Lie? We’re told you do that.

You can pride yourself on how detached your heart is from anything or anybody as though there is power in not caring but the opposite is the truth. If you are going to achieve sex/love with a real woman (Not a hook-up which is messed up), you’re going to have to study human feelings and at least understand it and be sensitive to it or she won’t sleep with you unless you’re a very good liar. Sometimes some women aren’t tuned in enough to be able to tell you’re lying. I know that’s what men hope for.

  1. A way to a man’s heart (what women want) is through his stomach (tricky path to his heart).
  2. A way to woman’s nether region (what men want) is through her heart (tricky path to her nether region unless she hates men. If she hates men, she’ll have sex with you immediately and that is very messed up.)

You may want to keep in mind that all women have the heart of;

  1. A young, innocent girl
  2. A teenage flirty girl
  3. An expectant mother
  4. A selfless lover
  5. An A class warrior on the hardest battlefield imaginable
  6. The most heartless dictator you never want to know who is willing to lop heads in the face of too much foolishness and lying

I’m old enough to know that most men are putting on an Oscar performance since observing and mimicking human behavior is easy for anyone. All you have to do is practice a little and most people will believe you. However, most women can see through a man’s actions regarding his sincerity. The problem here is men are mostly confused by human behavior and the body so it’s a double whammy. Women understand both. Yikes!

I recommend you honestly seek to know a few women as friends and understand what you’re looking for in a woman. Once you think you’ve met her, care about who she is as a person. She knows you want to have sex right away but if she’s smart, she won’t. Most women judge that because our whole society puts the wishes of mother and child ahead of men, thus patriarchy which defends men’s natural needs. I don’t. I accept straight guys and don’t wish they were gay.

Keep in mind, during matriarchy, when men were denigrated and women were dominant, no one knew who the fathers of the children were. It was McSex drive-thru; the first hook-ups that drove matriarchy. Women and children lived separately from the men. Someone figured out that it would be a benefit for children to know their fathers OR large numbers of men decided they wanted to know who their children were. THUS, marriage, family, territorialism and the home were born. Women have not totally recovered (haha) because we used to be warriors in charge.

Anyhow, the existence of patriarchy is due to this novel idea of a man living with the woman and children. Males have thus learned about love, nurturing, warmth, ya know, all the squishy estrogen stuff. That means you all DO have the ability to calm down and be kind. So, do that please when you come out of your man cave.

you've got to be kidding me