Platonic Love? Which One?


 

Plato

 

Where does the term platonic love come from?

 

“It is named after Greek philosopher Plato, though the philosopher never used the term himself. Platonic love as devised by Plato concerns rising through levels of closeness to wisdom and true beauty from carnal attraction to individual bodies to attraction to souls, and eventually, union with the truth.”

He was also a pedophile so there you have seeds of the modern Greco-Roman Church. I also see in that progression the problem males have with the objectification and emotional attachment to the physical and getting a bit dramatic about that. As I’ve said before, women are very matter of fact about everything physical and attracted to a man’s vibe, affection, and generally whatever gets her motor running about him. We’re not particularly focused on his appearance or body parts as it is for men. Meaning, I’ve heard a man will “fall in love with” a woman’s breasts and marry her just for that; or her face; or her legs. I can’t even fathom being that superficial and most women would agree. This is the foundation of Platonic love designations; the way men love.

What did Plato’s mother do to him as a child? The subject is still not talked about in 2019. What’s interesting to me is that when the word “platonic” is used now, Eros platonic love (see below) is left out, usually by a man who has a whore-madonna or hookup-possession, black and white, passive-aggressive view of the role of women. There is a distinct pride many men take in denying women affection and love but not defecation sex. They know that women need and want affection as much as the sex act itself, maybe more. So there is a power play there. Women have check-mated that by going to the arms of other women or just satisfactorily taking care of themselves and being celibate. Thriving is important in the face of love withholding. I can’t say I blame women if they are in the least bit attracted to other women sexually. At least there are all kinds of love there.

I just ran into the word platonic today in an e-mail and now I need to take a shower because it was used in the context of denying Eros simply because I asked for love and affection with sex from this man who has been my friend for two years. We’ve gone from polyamorous hookup suggestion (Ludus platonic), lusty talk and plans with a mutual attraction to my REALISTIC lover and friend suggestion, to THIS.

I’m not doing PlatonicPhilia which is the way he means it. I don’t jump through men’s definition of relationships hoops because my needs are never met. What a disaster.

I looked up the different types of Platonic love and they are;

  • Eros is sexual or passionate love or a modern perspective of romantic love.
  • Philia is the type of love that is directed towards friendship or goodwill, often is met with mutual benefits *that also can be formed by companionship, dependability, and trust.
  • Storge is the type of love that is found between parents and children, and this is often a unilateral love, meaning a one-way street. Parents love the child but the child does not return it and leaves to form his own love relationships outside of the immediate family. It’s actually natural but many cultures won’t allow the child to become independent.
  • Agape is the universal love, that can consist of the love for strangers, nature, or god.
  • Ludus is a playful and uncommitted love, this is focused for fun and sometimes as a conquest with no strings attached.
  • Pragma is the type of love that is founded on duty and reason, and one’s longer-term interests.
  • Philautia is self-love and this can be healthy or unhealthy; unhealthy if one places oneself above the gods (to the point of hubris), and healthy if it is used to build self-esteem and confidence.

In my personal life, I am ErosPhilia with a lover or two, if the man is mature enough to tolerate it. I’m finding that they usually aren’t. Men emotionally need possession and territory of a woman (the way his mother adored him). The problem there is I’m not his mother.

I tend naturally toward Agape love in my public and work life, having Venus in Pisces. I love at all times which can be confusing for Americans. Since barely anyone really loves in our society on any level, because of lack of authenticity and loving touch, when they encounter someone who loves them at all, they mistake it for Eros or personal love. It’s not, nor can it be in a professional setting. If you’re not friends or have Philia love and know each other well, there can be no Eros. In the State of Michigan, it’s illegal to be in Eros with your clients as a bodyworker so it doesn’t happen.

They say, “There is no wrath like a woman scorned,” but I think there is no wrath like a son of a mentally ill mother who neglected him and possibly abused him sexually. I believe those wounds go deep in men and are largely untapped in terms of public dialogue. A mother’s love is supposed to be the most sacred love on the planet, yet, most men I’ve talked to don’t speak very respectfully of their mothers. I think it’s a complicated relationship for a man, to be sure; the most complicated of his life, bar none. The women he has relationships with bear the brunt of it.

I haven’t thought about or had a platonic relationship since I was in my twenties! Good, God! This idealized, Philia love with no sex is so…dumb and unrealistic. It’s also highly unnatural. Anyway, it’s a good thing I can unpause Zoosk at any point.

you've got to be kidding me

This could be considered a slight move toward lover awareness on his part but the overriding energy of a lover is awesome sex and affection or Eros. It’s not idealized at all! It’s full of Eros, is extremely carnal,  meaning body which is all good. Yes! Come on! The body!

The garden still lies fallow. I hate to say it, but this Platonic Philia crap sounds like religion to me. Next thing I know I’ll be hearing about Church and that he’s saved.

Advertisements

Longing


kissing

 

Languishing, ardent desire isn’t a painful kind of suffering,

It’s fulfillment; the kind that worries lacking it.

Your voice…a deep bell struck under water causing small

ripples in my undertow.

It’s engorged life, fertile effulgent, flaming magma-like flow

Not too much! You’re perfect.

My sighing kisses embarrass for a moment while I check my breathing

It’s a strong, mutual heartbeat echoing through my body

And I believe I am undone…again.

 

Pleased


I wish I was pleased like a normal woman you see

but fucking isn’t that simple for me.

I’m sensitive to vibes, love, or lack of it

Monkey in trees, bull moose I’m not comin’.

I’ve plenty of space, time, and energy galore

but I just can’t see myself being your score.

Where a man just comes over to get me one off

I’m not pleased by just that, and it makes me scoff.

I’ve had plenty of THAT, it’s as easy as pie

I guess what I want is that pie in the sky

Love, warm kisses, caresses, and looks

Time to lay down next to him in his crook.

Put down your damn phone! and feel flesh after all

There’s more to my girl than just tits and my doll.

My whole body’s RIGHT HERE for you to enjoy,

Can one of you guys calm enough to employ

your heart and your senses to know who I am

care enough to spend time and just be a friend?

 

Probably not.

puzzle-klimt-eventail-index

 

 

Women Feel the Need to be Like a Colorful Male Bird? Yes.


 

 

 

 

I don’t. But many women don’t like to be ignored. Kind, smiling, pretty, plain women are preferred by a husband for marriage (hurrah!) But when it comes to fun, sex, and money, because of the sexual objectification of women, men prefer novice, meanness, titillation, color, and bitchiness. Women are just actors in men’s psychodrama and it’s important for women to see that if they want to choose to lead authentic lives and play no role for anyone. Some men see women as human beings but most don’t. They can’t because we’re more human than them and rival them in a myriad of ways. That’s not something that they can psychologically handle.

In many cultures, men are free to have a wife and a mistress so they can have the status they need and basically have their cake and eat it too. Then the women can choose whichever role they prefer to play for the man as long as patriarchy continues. Women put on all the colorful makeup and clothes, along with gay men.

In nature, the males are bigger and more attractive, dance around and are colorful. The females are just…great the way they are and the colorful men pursue them and show off. I certainly see that with Bruno Mars and the Hooligans. They’re adorable to me! I don’t know what the guys think. I know quite a few women who think they are some fancy birds dancing around and showing their stuff. Most females do love it. That is nature.

But I wonder why our society is topsy turvy, where the women feel the pressure to be colorful; LIKE MEN? I shunned public performance because I’m very feminine and come across shy. I’m not shy with a man one on one…at all. But my nature is female! Why would I want to draw a ton of attention to myself? I do get courted by men but not men that I like. That’s troublesome. It’s because I don’t strut myself like a male bird.

I notice the women on the news are expected to be very aggressive in their tone of voice and buff. Patriarchy essentially means men want men because they feel they are superior to women. Women are viewed as defective by men that cling to patriarchal misogyny…and football. Many men don’t, I know. So women are only desirable if they’re more like a man. That means the man is essentially homosexual. I’ve never heard anyone suggest that but I see it. He prefers males or women that are aggressive or bitchy. Gag me. That’s the alpha way and obviously, I’m beta. No alpha man has ever pursued me and won’t. Good!

Just throwin’ this out there. Women who succeed in public are either very assertive, aggressive or a lesbian. IN NATURE, that is a preponderance of testosterone which is alpha male. Beta women that don’t want to act like a guy are ignored, except by the beta males who are trolls, nerd, artists, and freaks (women are all of that too). It now suggests the issue of alpha vs. beta. I believe our society is moving toward the rise of the Betas.

Compromise With a Partner You Value


 

man and woman talkingThere is much talk lately about never sacrificing yourself in an intimate relationship with a lover or a partner. I agree that it never works to lie or to give up so much of your time and what you want and need to do with your body and energy that you become very unhappy.

I’m single, dating, totally getting healthy and feeling my goddess core after having been to hell and back with men and babies dying; four all together. I have a wonderful son who is twenty. He’s a fabulous man and trying to figure it out as we all did at twenty. As I look for a new partner at the age of fifty-six the landscape and reason for mating is completely different and has completely changed. The younger men don’t even hesitate now to let me know of their interest and I actually really like younger men…as lovers and friends. They are far more open-minded and less biased. But as a mate? I’m truly leaning toward someone my age so that we can support and understand one another.

It seems to me that mating is now more about friendship, cooperation, and helping one another for the second half of our lives. The libido is there and there has to be an attraction but in no way is sex the same because I can’t get pregnant. It’s a big deal and huge incentive to stay mobile, hip, and sexy. As you age you really do need more help, more muscle, and a helpmate for different reasons instead of raising children.

However, there is a big difference now between giving something up of my single life habits in middle age and the sacrifice for my family in my youth. You realize this might be your last hurrah with mating love; real love; not love based on societal marriage and children which is based on family norms and proscribed roles. Love in middle age is completely free. No one has to approve of you because you’re going to have children together.  You’re not going to merge immediate families necessarily. You can if you want, I suppose just out of habit, but there is no obligation to. It doesn’t matter what anyone thinks; at all. There are no expectations on any front because you don’t share DNA with children.

When you value someone’s presence in your life, you let go of a habit or activity and compromise because you want to not because you have to. So there is no more sacrifice. It can be unconditional love. The fact of the matter is, when you have a spouse and children, you HAVE to do certain things. There is no choice whether you like it or not. Honestly, becoming a parent does require sacrifice which is very worth it, is extremely hard but it ends and many people are left alone in their house. Some people hate it. I love it! I really enjoyed having a family but I love my own life too and have been pondering whether I’d want to give up pieces of it for a new mate.

I’d be willing to adjust if I really loved and valued my partner and knew that we were reciprocating. There is no way I’d fall into my old role of jumping when he needed me, jumping when my son needed me, cooking when they’re hungry. Nope. Once in a while, I might but not if I don’t feel like it. There would also be much more space in our togetherness because you really do treasure your alone time after you’ve had a family. The quiet is really priceless.

So, The Men Are Just Being Friendly


zoosk

It doesn’t mean anything. When they have sex with you, they’re just being friendly! I just woke up to this and cannot stop laughing over my espresso. All the trouble they have to go through to just to be friendly with a woman! “Why do we make it so complicated?!” they cry. Lmao. And I haven’t eaten breakfast yet.

Oh my. Why do they have to bother with the fake romance and talking, and caring, and buying a drink and the lying about not seeing anyone else? Why do women have to be so human and want to bond and have a relationship? I actually don’t want a relationship with a man. Why would I pine for something that they’re not capable of? Earth is a fallow garden for us. Sex with no love. Oh yeah. Troll sex. No thanks.

I’m back to Rajesh and Penny from Big Bang Theory. Penny says, “Look, sex can ruin a friendship. I just want to go back to just being friends.” (big audience sigh which I hate bc it shows empathy for the fragile male ego but not the love and bonding needs of the female which are noble and elevate the sex bond). Rajesh says, “You can’t ruin a friendship with sex! That’s like ruining chocolate ice cream with sprinkles.” Sex with a woman is analogous to ice cream with sprinkles. There ya have it! And we’re at “Blues Clues” level or maybe Romper Room. Where’s my loot bag from the birthday party? Really guys? Yeah…really. They seem to be set at any emotional level from 2 years old to 18 years old but not very far past adolescence. The ones at the adolescence stage are angry and clever, maybe a bit crazy. If women are going to hobnob with straight men, we really need to accept this state of affairs because that’s their brain set up!
But Penny gets her way. In this scenario, he doesn’t rape her but all over the world, if a woman says “No” to a request, desire, or demand for sex she’s raped. The least that you’ll get is anger and then dissing. Am I good at sex? Hell yes. But you’re not going to find out if you aren’t truly warm and loving to me!!!! Couple that with being a smart ass about it and I’m toast.
If Rajesh was a criminal or they were in another country, Penny would not have been safe at all. This is what women have to look out for constantly with men. It’s documented in a couple books I have, one great one written by the reviled and scapegoated Hillary Clinton called “The Hillary Doctrine”. Fabulous book.

The Hillary Doctrine

I was just punished by my date! He reeled me in, didn’t get his way, and his way was unreasonable because he wanted me to travel in a snowstorm at midnight just for sex, and dropped me like a hot potato. I hope he suffers something now and I didn’t even have a second date with him. He’s f*d up to do that to a Goddess like me.

And with that, men hurl because, in order to keep us accessible at your level, you have to treat us like manipulative hoes and bitches, which in truth, none of us are. We are protecting ourselves from our proven predators. All women are Goddesses. The Gods can’t even create life. They need Mother Spirit who is the Mother of us all. But she is silenced on the planet and mortal men who would be gods and superheroes tamper with real powers of creation that reside only in the female and do not honor or protect her heart or her power because they are jealous of what they can never be; creators of life. But the men will deny their emasculating admiration for her as long as possible. For that, it’s likely the species will end once again.

Women Can Be Loving with Sexual Energy But Only if It’s Reciprocated


zooskToday the rubber meets the road and as I was working out, Spirit got to me. Some say God or Source. I pride myself on listening for spiritual guidance so that I’m always in my power and integrity so that’s what some of this information is. If it’s not true for you, just leave it be.

My intuition was very strongly scoping out my body this morning which it’s been doing lately. I sensed that most of the time women take energy from the man in the form of seed (sperm) or money but I don’t think we love as often as we could. Of course, we have our own money but women that marry a man do so mostly for his sperm so she can have their child (pure love) and his money (to support that pure love). In that, he is viewed as successful but men shouldn’t have to be defined just by that just as women aren’t. It’s rarely really loving. I say this from talking to many women who rarely express love for their man the way they do their children. Many women withhold their heart love from sex because the man doesn’t stimulate it with human intimacy. I’m not sure women are aware of it but I know I’ve done it because I resent that men don’t love from heart energy. I think that’s why in my 20’s I kept falling in love with gay men. Straight men don’t love the same way women do! It’s not their fault that they’re more simple. They love from first chakra or just sexual energy, their stomach, and from their minds. (Chakras 7, 3, and 1 or mind, power and food and sex) Women are more centered in chakras 6, 5, 4, and 2 or intuition, speaking and communicating, heart love and feelings. Gay men are too.

Tree with intuitive human

The sacral chakra or chakra two is right below the navel. This is the emotions center, conception, and THE center of creation and love on the planet in the woman’s body. Men don’t have the same energy in chakra 2. Being a woman, I know I cover my belly, hold in my procreative energy and sexual energy there for myself because society doesn’t give me any. I don’t release it during sex unless I’m feeling particularly empowered from within and feel that the man I’m with deserves it because he loves me.

On this planet, it takes a phenomenal amount of energy for a woman to love herself by herself. We’re not taught by any institution or any part of society to love ourselves alone. Women that are internally strong are called witches, freaks, or weird. My patient called me weird yesterday when I told her I was very intuitive. Good ole’ Grand Rapids. That would be me and I’m none of those things. As Lady Gaga says, “I was born this way”.

My oldest sister has always called me a freak though but she’s jealous because she’s more normal than she’d like. Hey, if you’re not willing to do the work and willing to pay the price of being exceptional in a mediocre driven society, I’m sorry.  Hardly any women love themselves from within because you’ll be a social outcast. I’m just being the way I was born to be and I refuse to adjust. It’s not like I’m rich from being this way but I sure need to make more than I do.

Well, my male friend from another state is most definitely in touch with me and was not crazy about me being on Zoosk at all. I don’t know why yet. I wasn’t crazy about his harems and extreme flirtations with women either so I set the boundaries. What’s good for the goose is good for the gander. The truth is, now that I’m 56 if a man my age still prides himself on the number of women he can f* and needs that, I don’t care. It’s just defecation to him, it’s troll behavior and hurting him more than me not to love a woman or accept it from her. I love at all times.

I’m not sure what he’s up to or why he wants t talk to me. People have said they feel comfortable being themselves around me; not fake. That’s because I tell the truth which seems to be lost in the world of men no matter where you find them or what level of character they are.

 

With No Contact, The Attraction Wears Off


zooskI believe studies have shown this about women. The initial hormone high of attraction falls away if there is no contact, no talking (hearing his voice), you don’t see him and you receive no communication. That has been the case here. Because I’m intuitive, that has all kicked in very strong and I recommend following your intuition to women when it comes to these situations. Reason being, your body, and brain send certain signals based on ancestral DNA and successful reproduction in terms of sexual attraction and your soul intuition sends another. It’s unfortunate that the two are not always on the same track but I can tell you they are not.

I texted him and left one call regarding my Zoosk account getting hacked and being paused. I have heard nothing back. If a man isn’t as active on the account after he meets you, that’s a sign that he’s focused on you, but he was back on and not contacting me directly. Then I assume he was out in the alley again but I don’t know for sure. Ok! I wasn’t. I was watching him. What I know about men is, if they have not had sex with you and they don’t think they’re going to have sex with you in the immediate future, they have absolutely no motivation for communicating with you past the first date. 

 

There is no way two people can value each other as human beings after only one date or even a couple dates! That means women, that even if you wait for a couple dates to have sex with him, there is no way you’re setting a tone for a relationship, love, or bonding to happen and he will continue to be an alley dog, learning nothing, and finding any b…. he fancies online who will give it to him quickly. That is men’s nature. They are not to be judged for that. I’m making the point that if you want something different and he seems like a man to reproduce with or love, you cannot have sex with him right away. He needs self-discipline, not indulgence. If he shows no interest then and moves on, just because you wouldn’t have sex, he was not your reproduction type anyway. And usually, a man will say up front that he IS looking for a relationship which could mean several things. Mostly, he may want children and a home. Men want that too. Just know that he will be a softer, more domesticated type and not as virile.

My situation is somewhat different because I’m not looking for a man to reproduce with. However, it’s the same in that I only want bonded sex, not alley sex. I need love with a man to be turned on and that is absolutely how I’m wired. I’m monogamous and want a lover but I don’t like marriage. I know who I already love and who I want to share myself with for the second half of my life; my twin flame. But he’s not communicating with me very much or at least he’s not initiating at the moment and lives 1800 miles away. For me, it’s a matter of being patient because I know what’s going on with him. What I can tell you is that he is very strong in my psychic, etheric space and that really counts with Twin Flames. So why am I on Zoosk? I’m testing myself and the energy. I also want to hang out and date to be social. I like men.

man and woman talkingAnother thing about women is our sexual interest has everything to do with a man’s voice and how he talks to us. It just is. This is huge for men to accept if any of you are reading this. Maybe women are different on this but I don’t think so. I think all women are very strongly affected by the tone of voice and sincerity of voice from a man. We can tell when you’re lying which is most of the time. If you are an honest man and tell the truth, that is very sexy and very impressive. Just don’t say, “Yeah, I think you ARE fat! And by the way, your ass is big!” lolololol. My male friend in another state who I text and talk with said to me, “We lie because it works!” I said, “No it doesn’t! We can always tell and then you come down a few notches to us and have less chance of sex with us.” He must be referring to lying working on women that aren’t too bright. Don’t get me started on that.

It’s a good thing I really love my single life and have made a life for myself. Dealing with men is really so much gaming and brain mush. My Zoosk fellow is still up north for the week working. The weather in Michigan has been “stay off the roads!”. He told me he would be gone for a week after our first date. Maybe when he’s done with his project he’ll contact me. I honestly don’t care that much and have no emotion invested in him because he’s not talking to me. Men are unpredictable. I still think he’s super cute but we’ll have to have a second date and see how the vibe is since he wouldn’t talk to me all week. And maybe I’m not that interested now. I’m unpredictable too. This is the dance we do. Just don’t chase him, women! Let him come to you. Again, think of a dog and how you’d deal with one. My son’s father is the one that made me accept that visual. I would never suggest that about men but that’s because I’m idealistic. Now that I’m middle-aged I’m realistic.

 

Just Because Someone Desires You Doesn’t Mean They Value You


zooskThis is especially true for women and men doing the dating game. Just because a man desires you, which is the easiest thing in the world for men, to simply want to f* a woman, take her sex energy from chakras 3, 2, and 1 (stomach/power, abdomen/feelings, and reproductive area/sexual energy down to the feet/grounding) and nothing else, doesn’t mean he values you or ever will.  If he valued you or wanted to he would care about who you were in chakras 4, 5, 6, 7 (and above if you’re a lightworker). That is your heart and feelings/4, how you express yourself and your creativity/5, your visions and dreams/6, and your beliefs and spirituality/7 and above. (see image at the bottom)

just because someone desires you.

A young woman has to find out what the status is there because he might be a father to her children which means he has to stick around for 10-15 years which is generally as long as a family lasts. Then most parent’s divorce. Women have to be the ones who decide. Anyone who suggests that you can “feel” all the vibe you need on the phone or text and tell by their voice whether they “check your boxes” is factually incorrect. If a woman says that to a man, she’s kissing his ass to try to get laid. She’s wrong and unethical.

Most men are very turned on when a woman is attracted to them or wants them sexually because that means she may very well give him that sexual love. Again, that is love for men. However, men don’t really “give love” when they have sex, they take which is nature really. They give sperm but not the energy “of love”. Women need to give their sexual energy actually and love a man by opening up her sexual energy, not just her nether regions. I think a lot of women actually take a man’s manhood just to have an orgasm and she doesn’t focus on opening her whole self during sex.

I actually put this post in the trash because of the next section. I had a reader ask me to restore it so I’m here to help. I trashed it because I have hard feelings about all of this and Spirit has been getting to me lately to wake up an issue for everyone. I’m about to post on it.

Men give us energy from heart, voice, being intuitive and tuned in. They really do show love for us when they listen to how we feel, communicate and pay attention. And they actually need to give that for them to grow as people and women need to receive it. Valuing another person sexually and emotionally takes time. If you need the immediate gratification of sex, the valuing will never happen. There is no possibility of hooking all those chakras so that you actually know the other person as a human being. Women understand that human, physical bond far more than men do which is why sex affects us emotionally whereas, for most men, it can just be a type of release of even defecation. I find that repugnant and being aware of this is why I trashed this. It makes me very, very sad about men to know this. Why would you treat an act that can create a human life like defecation? Because you feel like your own life is shit? Life is a gift and time is precious.

There is no skirting around the fact that if a woman allows a man to draw out her sexual energy (3, 2, and 1) before he has shown that he values her as a human being, you’re using each other. If you give a man an inch, he’ll take a mile when it comes to a woman’s energy. Men need our physical energy far more than we need theirs. What does that tell you? Women are more powerful than men and it’s time for women to OWN IT and be accountable instead of playing the victim. We don’t need men as much as they need us and that makes them very vulnerable.

Personally, I’m at a point where I just want to be trustworthy with myself. I’m not at all sure a vulnerable man should trust me and they can probably feel it. I’m not willing to give my emotions and sex energy to a man who I don’t believe is capable of loving me (which is most of them) in which case, I won’t be turned on, in which case there is no point of sex. Women give away their feelings and sex energy all the time and get nothing in return that really matters.  I can’t do that. I’m smart enough to see the real deal and it’s not an even playing field at all.

It’s starting to feel like my back is against a wall with my Twin Flame. It’s either him or no one and the thought of living the last half of my life alone is not something I can accept. As usual, the Universe via my intuition is going to need to guide me. I’m a human being like everyone else and have needs and desires. Unfortunately, I can’t indulge in it like everyone else and get away unscathed. It completely screws up my Qi to be out of my integrity with Spirit, though sometimes I still try to see what will happen.

the-12-chakra-system2

Traditionally;

Crown is 7th chakra, Third Eye is 6th, Throat is 5, Heart is 4, Solar Plexus or stomach is 3, Sacral is 2 and Root is 1.

The navel is the Dantien area or ancestral Qi that attaches through your mother at birth. Chakras activated above the crown are done through meditation and below the root, or Earth Star may be for people training in shamanistic healing. If you’re doing shamanistic training you really can’t mess around with sex that is not heart connected, in my opinion.

The Way to a Woman’s ….. is Through Her Heart


 

man-looking-at-checking-out-woman

This is a very enlightening article, but I’m not sure it’s very realistic. It’s ambitious I guess.

Can a Man Be Friends with A Woman He’s Sexually Attracted To?

Over the past thirty years or so, there has been a consistent aspect of men I’ve observed repeatedly. They have the ability to very detached from their feelings or be aware of no feelings at all. They’re able to turn it off and focus on the task at hand, sometimes with cold, hard, logic. The challenge here is that men want to have sex with a very emotional creature; a woman (if you’re straight). If you don’t understand or feel your own feelings what are you going to do? How will you please a woman if you don’t know yourself? Fake it? Lie? We’re told you do that.

You can pride yourself on how detached your heart is from anything or anybody as though there is power in not caring but the opposite is the truth. If you are going to achieve sex/love with a real woman (Not a hook-up which is messed up), you’re going to have to study human feelings and at least understand it and be sensitive to it or she won’t sleep with you unless you’re a very good liar. Sometimes some women aren’t tuned in enough to be able to tell you’re lying. I know that’s what men hope for.

  1. A way to a man’s heart (what women want) is through his stomach (tricky path to his heart).
  2. A way to woman’s nether region (what men want) is through her heart (tricky path to her nether region unless she hates men. If she hates men, she’ll have sex with you immediately and that is very messed up.)

You may want to keep in mind that all women have the heart of;

  1. A young, innocent girl
  2. A teenage flirty girl
  3. An expectant mother
  4. A selfless lover
  5. An A class warrior on the hardest battlefield imaginable
  6. The most heartless dictator you never want to know who is willing to lop heads in the face of too much foolishness and lying

I’m old enough to know that most men are putting on an Oscar performance since observing and mimicking human behavior is easy for anyone. All you have to do is practice a little and most people will believe you. However, most women can see through a man’s actions regarding his sincerity. The problem here is men are mostly confused by human behavior and the body so it’s a double whammy. Women understand both. Yikes!

I recommend you honestly seek to know a few women as friends and understand what you’re looking for in a woman. Once you think you’ve met her, care about who she is as a person. She knows you want to have sex right away but if she’s smart, she won’t. Most women judge that because our whole society puts the wishes of mother and child ahead of men, thus patriarchy which defends men’s natural needs. I don’t. I accept straight guys and don’t wish they were gay.

Keep in mind, during matriarchy, when men were denigrated and women were dominant, no one knew who the fathers of the children were. It was McSex drive-thru; the first hook-ups that drove matriarchy. Women and children lived separately from the men. Someone figured out that it would be a benefit for children to know their fathers OR large numbers of men decided they wanted to know who their children were. THUS, marriage, family, territorialism and the home were born. Women have not totally recovered (haha) because we used to be warriors in charge.

Anyhow, the existence of patriarchy is due to this novel idea of a man living with the woman and children. Males have thus learned about love, nurturing, warmth, ya know, all the squishy estrogen stuff. That means you all DO have the ability to calm down and be kind. So, do that please when you come out of your man cave.

you've got to be kidding me