If You Don’t Give Him Sex When He Suggests It, You May as Well Not Exist.


cropped-divorced_couple_credit_inesbazdar_via_wwwshutterstockcom_cna_9_3_15.jpgUse your intuition on this one. Keep in mind the men are double-minded on this issue and may not even be aware that they are. Meaning, you’ll hear gender equity pronouncements and exhortations to be direct, honest, and yourself in public and on social media and another thing in private one-on-one. In private, if they are sexually attracted to you, they want or need you to take a back seat, be a hot little girl, never ask for anything emotionally, behave more graciously and not so opinionated and don’t initiate so much. Absolutely do not show that you are as smart or smarter than them.

I think part of the issue is men feel gypped by our society for not getting as much sex as they need the way they need it. Men need more interest and fun far more than bonding. Instead, the predominance is on talking and relationships which is women’s way. That’s called civilization and sex isn’t civilized? I think men truly resent it. On the other hand, women appreciate it because we can then use our energy for other things we care about and aren’t beholden or as likely to get pregnant. Most women truly need to be treated with love and care and not so much as sex objects in marriage and out.

Straight men who let you know that they are in no way interested in a relationship before the sexy talk are telling you that there is no way they will ever consider you a human being or even a friend. They are saying, “If you don’t have sex with me when I suggest it, you need to drop off the face of the earth. This exchange has expired because I have no use for you.” They will also lie to you about loving you as a friend. The only men who love you as a friend are gay. To try to wiggle out of their pronouncement of loving you as a friend they will lie about moving and even claim a family member died as an excuse for not calling you when they said they would. These men are wounded and internally weak.

They endorse lying and will say anything in any way shape or form and act an Academy Award-winning performance to scam money and sex in any way they can. They know how to make women love them and then take them for all they’ve got. Usually, they’ve never been married and have no children.

They are not mature enough to consider a woman a friend and lover with no other agreements, commitments, or contracts which they should if they were smart. It would put them on the high road and prove that they can take care of themselves and know how to love. They not only don’t want a commitment, they feel they have the right to ask for sex and then feel no human connection to you whatsoever. They are died-in-the-wool misogynists. Most likely they are narcissists or borderlines as well with a history of childhood abuse that they refuse to forgive.

I know how to work this type of man for as long as I need to in order to confirm their disorder because I suspect they’re working me. Then I’m done because I have ambitious work to do as well. It’s just an experiment on my end. I’m studying them in this gender-biased simulation we live in, no emotion whatsoever. The problem is, it’s much easier for them to do a hook-up and get what they need but not so for me; in fact the opposite.

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Mindset; What does “In Your Face” Mean from a Woman?


Women leading

This article is dated May this year. There are a few articles every year to remind us that this Victorian issue is alive and well. Given my phone call with my mother yesterday, exhorting me to post a certain way on FB and not be “in your face”, my guess is that as long as the middle-aged generation of women and men continue to talk to their mothers, this double standard will continue. The irony here is that she was the one “in my face” so it was a projection. The women born in 1940 or thereabout just don’t get it and they keep planting seeds of injustice in our minds and then we carry it with us wherever we go in society. I guess we need to set a strong boundary.

Here is the article.

Double Standards That Hold Women Back

Under the top picture, it says,

Women can rarely just be themselves in positions of power.”

This is the first paragraph.

“I suggested she—a rising female attorney at a law firm—be more assertive to make her ideas and opinions heard in meetings. She told me she’s compelled to filter every word lest she is perceived as overly ambitious—or worse, aggressive. She noted that her male counterparts, by comparison, seemed to feel free to say whatever, whenever, without incurring any negative judgment.

She wasn’t wrong—she really did need to choose her words more carefully than the men.”

That’s because Mom said so. Mom knows best. Yeah, no. It’s holding me back with that voice ringing in my head, “Don’t be in your face.”

This next part is just unbelievable and utter crap.

“Women typically rank higher than men on “agreeableness”—they have a reputation for being more nurturing, empathetic, kind, supporting, and accommodating. If you’re a female executive who others consider agreeable, chances are you will be seen as more likable.

But leadership positions require people to command authority. Aggressiveness will do this for you. But for women, the more aggressive they are seen to be, the less likable they are found—by men and women. It’s a double bind.”

There is still a huge chasm between social permission for a man to be assertive and even aggressive and a woman to be the same. This article from Forbes proves that in the year 2019 it’s still alive and kicking despite all of our hope and denouncements. There is also a generational divide here. My mother born in 1940 still projects her values regarding what she was taught about how to behave as a woman onto me because that’s what she is still doing. She’s trying to justify it through me. So do women from my own generation. She still feels free to direct me on what to do as well.

The double standard between women and men being assertive needs to end. The truth is, more women are far more assertive than men and just as competent! I could write about this forever but do read the article and try not to be in denial in your own workplace.

 

 

Heartset; We Can Get a Room…


puzzle-klimt-eventail-index

Most women suck it up even though they don’t want to right away. What if you haven’t met him yet? What if you’ve just talked long distance for a long time? I have to get a vibe in person with a guy. I freakin’ don’t get why guys don’t care about that! They should. I did in the past but I’m not doing it anymore because I deserve to be turned on the way I get turned on. The pleasure of sex is for women also.

I understand and respect the fact that men are ego invested about offering a hookup to a woman and she turns him down when she’s indicated before that she’s attracted to him. It’s a huge deal to a dude. Especially if you already know each other. On the other hand, if a guy just met you and asks for a hook-up he’s basically treating you like a free prostitute. That’s just disgusting. No.

Not doing a hookup with an egomaniac or your boss can get you fired if they want you! That’s how mad guys get. I’ve experienced it first hand. If they know you and you’ve both been flirting, they expect a “Yes” or I suppose they think were teasing them. I think men take rejection harder than women do. I try not to be too hard on men that let me know they like me but the boundaries do have to be maintained and I have a history of maintaining them in the workplace and in my own office, to the frustration of quite a few men.

I don’t think most women are teasing. I believe we’re thinking, pondering, and checking, putting it through our intuitive radar because women know energy is exchanged as well as body fluids. That’s how we are with men if the woman has any self-respect. We’re in the laboratory of sexual attraction and IT IS NO EASY MATTER FOR US! We need you guys to accept that about us. I accept that it’s simpler for men and every woman knows that. Then you need to accept that it’s more complicated for us. The man’s value system should not dictate the situation and I challenge every woman to stick up for what she wants and what she’s comfortable with. At least have some of it your way. If he’s too pushy, he can walk.

I think a good compromise is three times alone together in person, at least, after you’ve known each other for months. I know that these days that sounds like a long time but, well, that’s just me. I’m sorry but unless there is emotional intimacy I’m not turned on.

Heartset; Can She Be a Human Being?


cropped-gold-tears-klimt.jpg

She is either the big, bad, controlling monster because she’s a strong, intelligent woman or little Cinderella princess needing the glass slipper put on her foot? Too many men are passive-aggressive about women I suppose because they don’t understand us. We’re neither of those two ends on a linear spectrum. I wonder if men are capable of interpreting relational ideas past duality?

Relating is more complicated than that. Don’t give me the “Men are simple creatures that just need a dog” crap. If you’re going to inflate your ego to the point if feigning vast intelligence, all the top jobs and Nobel Peace Prizes, all the power in public and most of the money and fire women from their position who won’t hook-up with you, then you need to uplevel your brains to friendship with the woman you’re fucking. Then we can share power in public.

Let’s face it. We live in a vampire whored society where everyone is brainwashed to give over their mind and body to marriage, family, church, employer, and state for some money crumbs and the fat cats keep the rest and wait for us to die. Then the funeral homes and cemetery and the rest of the death industry clean up after that. It affects how women and men relate to one another to be sure because we end up in survival mode not thrive mode. That’s not a garden of intimacy.

I’m not and most women are not a misandrist. I just don’t want to have to train my mate the way I train my child. It’s an insult to men and women. We just want the species to survive on the planet, we’re the ones that make, birth, and love the species, and you guys have had your chance for the last 10,000 years. This madness has to stop.

Heartset; A #Female #Intimacy Myth Revealed


There’s a myth I Rumi Water keep running into whenever I really like a man, we know each other and are friends, I’m attracted to him and want to have sex with him. His assumption is, given all of the desires I’ve listed above, I’ll fall in love with him or I am in love with him and want to put a leash around his neck or start a relationship. No, I don’t and it’s a bit insulting to assume women want or need to be hitched to a man or control him. We don’t. Women who want children are more that way for good reason but not me!

He assumes I will want to control him like a dog trainer. So wrong. So very, very wrong. I have my own life. I only control myself. I’m a cat you see. But if you suggest on a first date, “We can get a room,” Uhhh. No. Sex is not going to be the first date. If that’s what you want then you’ll get a woman that just lets her body and energy be eaten for a price or for free. Good luck with that. It’s chaos and she’s likely emotionally messed up as in “a sex addict.”

I’m starting to think it’s the other way around. If he has told me and continues to express that he likes me also, is attracted to me and also wants to have sex, he might fall in love with me, otherwise, we would meet-up. Why aren’t we meeting each other? He couldn’t hook me for sex with lying and saying he loved me as a friend. He obviously doesn’t. No integrity. He’s a user. I pose too much of a challenge.

At least I assumed it from the beginning. I let him run his game to see what he would do to get another notch on his bedpost. All lies.

Friendship and attraction are the basis of everything lasting. Possession and contracts kill it after you’ve had children. You don’t need it in middle age. Most couples break up after their kids are grown anyway. You get bored with each other as lovers and can just be friends. Sexual usage is jungle level not human level and shows a very low intelligence and low spirituality. No thanks.

The myth is that just because a woman has all of those things going on that I listed above that she’s in love with a guy. Nope. Nada. Huh-uh. Not the case.  Most women I know are very good at controlling their feelings and actually choosing them. We’re kind of expert at it for some reason, especially in middle age when there is no longer the motive of reproduction and the extreme lust that comes with reproductive hormones. Maybe we have a highly developed relationship between our amygdala and frontal cortex after fifty because we’ve learned a thing or two? We want real love and friendship, not just lust games, and personality compatibility, not just sex compatibility. Time to grow up.

I’m done. The karma machine is going to run ragged on this one. Good. I hate it when a man can’t emotionally deal with friendship and sex. It’s totally immature.

 

Everyday Intuition; Competition at Home


BOOK FINISHED-Everyday Intuition-COVER JPGI remember feeling viscerally competitive on different levels with my previous mates with whom I lived. A lot of that is caused by sex. It gets you all riled up and thus the testosterone levels go up, especially for women which is not the best hormone to have in big supply. We need to relax. I believe that when you live with someone their energy rubs off on you for good or ill. The same would be true of the people with whom you work. This is not something of which most people are conscious.

When humans get around each other they compete more than anything else. To that end, just this morning, I realized that now that I live alone I am absolutely relaxed and feel no competition whatsoever with anyone. I love it. It really suits me and I’m in no mood to contend, compete, fight, create drama, watch the drama, compare myself to other women, try to match power with a man, or seek a man’s attention who has no real interest or connection to me.

It’s a dream come true to start to feel like I’m safe to inhabit my body and be true to myself in my work and personal life. I wouldn’t trade it for the world. It sure was hard getting to this point. Our world is completely vampiric, I’m here to tell you. Barely anyone is centered inside themselves and most people pull energy from outside of themselves from anything they can get their minds on. Not in my home, not in my office, and not with me.

Peace.

Heartset; Intimacy balances out by…


Pensive girl thinking in winter

For women, having sex. For men, talking.

That sounds ironic, doesn’t it?

If you already know each other, you’ve already been together, you’ve already communicated quite a bit, the way to bring intimacy equilibrium back to the relationship is instinctually in this manner.

It sounds odd because the assumption is men always want to have sex and women always want to talk but that is not the case all the time. Sex is super easy for men, with no feelings and no connection. Talking, bonding, getting to know a woman, becoming friends with her is not easy for him AT ALL. If he figures out that he digs her, likes talking to her and finds her hot, he is not going to want to have sex with her right away, especially if his habit has been to make her a notch in his bedpost. He’s going to want to talk. It means he’s starting to go deeper and mull over what she means to him. I do believe that this is a case of a man not going after what he wants quickly, especially if both parties are middle-aged. It’s the young men and women that move quickly.

Oh god. This drives me nuts! When a woman knows she’s attracted to a man, continues to be attracted to him, loves his voice, likes the way he thinks and agrees with much of what he does and says and generally digs him, she wants to fuck his brains out! Why make her wait?

Because it’s not a superficial sexual conquest anymore. He’s possibly serious about her. Especially if she didn’t bite at the outset when he offered superficial sex. I personally never bite when a man offers superficial sex, even if I’m attracted to him. I’m not letting just any man have my body and my energy and notch me. There has to be a connection or I’m not doing it. OR…there is a connection mentally and emotionally so I’m not doing it right away.

The other issue is, women know pretty quickly if not very quickly who she digs and who she doesn’t. We’re very astute at knowing our type and let him know. I did that with a friend of mine. We were headed for sex and I stopped it. Then he called me even more and wanted to talk even more. I really began to be mystified.

How is this going to play out? You’re both sure you have the hots for each other because you already said some hot things and meant it. You’ve both agreed you love each other as friends. You’ve both been friends, actively, with each other. You both call each other, text, stay in touch. You support each other’s work, actively. What the heck?

To be continued…

Body; Do Men Do the Picking or Do Women?


Fall-Deep Autumn

Women do. First, she flirts with the man she wants and lets him unconsciously know she likes him, then he responds assuming he’s initiating the whole thing. He’s not. She did, but he’s not sure she did so he intends to find out. Don’t wait too long or she might change her mind. That happens too. I don’t like a guy who’s slow on the draw. I want to know you pick up cues quickly and want to make me happy. So many guys don’t anymore.

I post a lot on FB threads that comment about relationships and the nature of men and women. “Steve Harvey TV” posted, “Never let a man tell you twice that he doesn’t want you.”  The gist of what I responded with was, “It doesn’t really matter what men want. Men don’t really know what they want in relationships or even for dinner. Women are better at that. Women tend to be the ones that pick because she’s the one that bears the weight of reproduction and communication. She knows what her body needs in the event that she does get pregnant. It’s nature. Men are very good at other things but not at picking a woman.” Men are free to want what they want but it isn’t going to change much.

I’m not about insulting men. My goal is to help bring some balance between the genders and especially female empowerment. For the record, I know there are some very daft women out there who misuse their personal power, are tetched or abusive, or just have a mountain of work to do on themselves before they could ever pick the right man.  As nature goes, women are the leaders though.  Women are the “pickers” in relationships. Women need to steer how the relationship is going to go.  Women have evolved these social skills and we need to get better at asserting ourselves and getting better organized when it comes to picking a man. I was not very organized myself about picking a man in my youth because I wasn’t the least bit interested in marriage. I paid a price for that.

Know yourself. Know your body. Take care of yourself. Feel your sexual nature and enjoy it. Then make a list. Make a bulleted list of what your instincts and senses tell you to need in a mate…if you’re straight that is. Women that wait for a man to “want them” are left in the dust over and over because they aren’t taking charge. They start to blame men for being dogs when….yeah…straight men kind of are because for most men, that’s the level they’ve evolved to. Again, not all, but most. Do you want them to be gay? They are great communicators, love to talk and decorate, but no sex? I guess I’m assuming bonding, but these days, a lot of people don’t even want that. It’s bad for your health over time not to bond.

Straight men have other great qualities and I suggest straight women start to observe and notice them. For the record, I am absolutely cool with LGBTQ.  But there are a lot of straight men and women out there struggling too.

Strong men are looking for strong women. Shallow men are looking for shallow women. Dog type men are looking for bitches to train them. Cat type men are looking for a cat-type woman. Like attracts like. So work on yourself and be clear about what you want. You embody Love and nothing is more attractive to a man than a woman whose heart really adores and loves him. And in return, if he even halfway likes who he is, he will adore you in return.

Prose; Sex as Source Energy


sex-is-source-energy

Authority, document, Testament, creed

Usurps my Love and all Earth deeds

Nurture, Earth, yearning passion, lust

absent fondness, potent throbs concuss.

Strength, virility, manly vigor, force,

potent beat, vacant blow, profuse throbbing course

Pound THE BOOK? It’s the loudest?

Leave my heart on the floor.

You are absent, your soul knows no swell or full core of

my love or your love, the book just ignores.

Woman’s body is feared, she makes life on her own

once man’s seed is deeply sown.

Yet her body creates the greatest of gifts,

a child, not great thoughts that cause a great rift.

books

 

 

 

 

 

Mindset; Why Do People Hate Smart Women? | Psychology Today


Expansion-Paige Bradley
The sculptor is Paige Bradley

This is another great article on this topic only this time the comments are super revealing. Enquiring minds need to know… lol. Just scroll quickly to the top to see the full article.

Psychology Today-Why Do People Hate Smart Women

This is a comment by S.C. on this great article;

Being an incomplete female, the male spends his life attempting to complete himself, to become female. He attempts to do this by constantly seeking out, fraternizing with and trying to live through and fuse with the female, and by claiming as his own all female characteristics — emotional strength and independence, forcefulness, dynamism, decisiveness, coolness, objectivity, assertiveness, courage, integrity, vitality, intensity, depth of character, grooviness, etc — and projecting onto women all male traits — vanity, frivolity, triviality, weakness, etc.

It should be said, though, that the male has one glaring area of superiority over the female — public relations. (He has done a brilliant job of convincing millions of women that men are
women and women are men). The male claim that females find fulfillment through motherhood and sexuality reflects what males think they’d find fulfilling if they were female.”

Comment by anon;

It is true that a lot of people hate intelligent women, but they don’t like to admit to it. Watch how frequently intelligent women have their appearance insulted. Those people are expressing their jealousy at her intelligence, whilst at the same time trying to persuade her that her intelligence has no value, because most people only care about a woman’s looks. Comparing mothers and fathers you’ll find that when a father goes to work he’s “providing for his family”, but when a mother goes to work she’s “abandoning her children”“.

Here is a comment by Cathy. This one is really good and I’ve had the same thing happen in physicians offces I’ve worked in where I solved a patient’s body dilemma.

“I’ve experienced rabid reactions from men numerous times in relation to points 3 and 6. (in the article). Both of those points are related. Just conversing in terms of normal average level of intelligence in a spirit of shared understanding in a social situation has resulted in men lashing out immediately with paranoid and derogatory accusations that what I am really doing is trying to make out that I “know something”. Apparently, as an adult woman I am not allowed to “know something”. I am talking about just normal conversations referring to every day things. If I try to point that out to defend myself all they do is continue to accuse me of trying to make out I “know something” by referring to everyday things, as if that made me a rotten bitch.

These men would never explain to me what their problem was, and I was always unprepared for this crap because it is so irrational, but it relates to the idea that many men don’t think their theory of mind relates to women, so in their mind we would never be ‘able’ to have a normal conversation for real, so therefore it must be some kind of trick that we are playing on them.

I wondered if it might just be men of low socio-economic status that had this faulty thinking. Then at one point I dated a CEO and founder of a software company. He prided himself on an image of himself as a man of extra high intelligence, so I thought he would know better. Unfortunately not. On a day out were in a shop that sold games that tested intelligence. He wanted to go in but I have no liking for those kind of games so I went into another shop and he was in there on his own and he and another guy spent 20 minutes trying to figure out how to extract this piece of metal out of a glass bottle. Apparently it’s rigged so you have to be pretty smart to figure out how to get it out.

By the time I walked in to the shop he and the guy had given up. They handed me the bottle, and after looking at it for about 30 seconds I figured it out and extracted the piece of metal. My CEO boyfriend says to me “If we (he and the other guy) couldn’t figure it out how could you do it” – with the emphasis on the word ‘you’. He was really shocked and kept going on and on how it would have had to be a fluke that I got the metal bit out and that I couldn’t have really solved it for real. It was really insulting, yet he seemingly had no recognition that he was being insulting and derogatory to me. I politely explained to him that to get the thing out I actually had to work out the only way it could come out, I didn’t just randomly jigger with the thing and fluke it – but he vehemently objected to the idea that I could have been able to do any such thing, and when I asked him why he thought that he said that he didn’t believe that I could be smart enough to do even one single thing that he and another guy couldn’t do. When I asked him to explain why he would think that, he couldn’t explain. That made two things he couldn’t figure out in 20 minutes for someone who proclaimed himself to be so incredibly intelligent. It’s obviously a delusional theory of mind, and it’s a very common experience that I have had with men and it’s disgusting. It’s made me stay away from relationships, and social situations altogether where I will come in contact with men.”

I’ll stop there. All I can say is I can relate. Also note, there are very intelligent women out there who play dumb because it makes a man feel more secure. It manipulates his ego. That’s one way to play it. I don’t waste my time with that.