The Womb

dark forest

I’ve known you but a thousand years my love

Your face so rare and calm…

I’ve known you deep inside the walls that push against my scorn.

 

Trenchant waters, tar-like mattes of ribbon sheer and broad,

Stripes form bridges…

Moats to cross…

Transfixed, I hear you call.

 

I know that voice so clear and deep, it beckons me to come,

“Reside with me my love.” “All right.”

The waters surge at dawn.

 

The Night is bright with moonlit sky

I wish it’d go away, to corners webbed and clockwork loose

To trip dimensions throng.

 

Plunge me into silence still embraced by tepid wrong.

Wrong and right eclipse my lungs…

Can’t breathe—

No morals throng.

 

Fear gloats its rabid face…”STOP!” I feign to tell it stunned.

My love lies deep within my heart, unhinged by doom-it runs!

 

Criss-cross sticks form one long bridge

Across the chasm’s face

Tred lightly dear, sing your way through the ache dismissed as day.

 

I’ve known you but a thousand years, this too shall pass away.

Eternity is ours my love.

The womb shall have its way.

 

9/26/09. Kin #66, White 1 Worldbridger (My Tzolkin Analog)

I remember writing this. I was at the end of a marriage and going through the wringer, deeply wanting to find a soulmate or my twin flame. My soul was burning. It was nine years ago and a whole life has happened since. Seems like yesterday.

Marketing to Women

Woman’s Day magazine, in retrospect, is going to go down in history to be as puerile, provincial, and trivial as the ads for toasters, cars, and bras for women in the 1950’s. They send me this rag free in the mail because I have a business. Occasionally I flip through it to get a laugh and I saw this.

The ad on the left is for a fake butter product. They’re making it analogous to a long-term relationship. The ingredients in “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter” are purified water, soybean oil, palm kernel oil, palm oil, salt, soy lecithin, natural flavors, vinegar, Vitamin A Palmitate, and beta-Carotene (for color). Jul 25, 2017

Soybean oil is very bad for you and in most processed foods and fast foods. Since it is so high in easily oxidizable omega-6, it’s a poor cooking oil choice. This article takes a look at eight harmful effects of soybean oil backed by scientific research. I’m pretty sure palm oil is no better.

Soybean oil

Given all of that, I agree that it’s analogous to a long-term relationship which is a statistical misnomer. The only long-term relationships that lasted from the old days were anchored in the couples subconscious minds by their birth family. God only knows what kind of marriage that was; probably more like comfy brother and sister than hot, novel lovers from different tribes. Most marriages are lucky to last 10-11 years, long enough to raise the kids a little over halfway and not kill each other. All the romantic hype around marriage is romantic fantasy and like fake butter, it’s bad for you! I think most people would agree that it’s not good for human beings to live with the same person for too long. It’s celebrated because people are afraid of great sex actually changing them spiritually.

When a person finally understands and embraces their body and emotions there is nothing greater or more powerful on the planet. It can change the world. The governments and the religions all know that which is why they sell us the awful healthcare system we have, obsession with a fitness regimen instead of health in balance and moderate treats, and dogmatic religions that demonize the body and nature that espouse abstinence and deprivation and promote “I Can’t Believe They Call This Shit Butter” long-term relationships.

We’re getting into the gray area here between this black and white ad. The implied assumption being, long-term is white, like a wedding dress on the right and black, like a classy little black dress is on the left. Neither one is accurate and the butter side verges on slut-shaming.

Who doesn’t love butter?! Butter is real. A bit of butter in your diet is good for your skin. There is one ingredient in butter; milkfat and man is it good! I just used 2 sticks of butter to make a shortbread crust for an apple tart and it turned out smashing! The puns are coming fast and furious here; tart, shortbread, fast, furious. Sounds like great sex to me.

There are only 34 calories in a teaspoon of butter and when added to fresh bread, it is pure joy. There is no other substitute for it if you’re making sugar cookie cutouts for a holiday for people you actually love. The key is moderation. Don’t eat the entire apple tart with shortbread crust or ten cookies.

The same goes for your relationships. Don’t have sex with a new partner every night. That would be too many one night stands, but I don’t know anyone who does that. There is nothing unhealthy or wrong about having a lover or a boyfriend. I think it tastes the best and is the most realistic with regard to human nature. It’s also the truth!

Give me that butter any day. It is not a one-night stand. Looks like love to me; no possession but likely repeated as long as the recipe is right.

warm bread and butter

Camille Paglia-Some Great Reading for the Weekend

Click here for the full interview for your reading pleasure this weekend.

Camille Paglia-EXCELLENT!

Paglia is an essayist, author, and professor of humanities at the University of the Arts in Philadelphia, where she has taught since 1984. She completed her Ph.D. at Yale under the supervision of Harold Bloom, author of The Western Canon. Her first book, Sexual Personae: Art and Decadence, from Nefertiti to Emily Dickinsonwas listed by David Bowie as one of “100 books we should all read.” 

Her other books include Break, Blow, Burn, a close-reading of 43 classic poems, and Glittering Images: A Journey Through Art from Egypt to Star Wars. In recent years, her essays have been collected and published in new editions, including Free Women, Free Men: Sex, Gender, and Feminism (February 2018) and Provocations: Collected Essays on Art, Feminism, Politics, Sex, and Education, which was released by Pantheon in October 2018.

“I thought Derrida and DeMan and the rest of that crew were arrant nonsense from the start, a pedantic diversion from direct engagement with art. About the obsequious Yale welcome given to the prattlings of one continental “star” visitor, I acidly remarked to a fellow grad student sitting next to me, “They’re like high priests murmuring to each other.”

Love it.

Nevertheless, the poisons of post-structuralism have now spread throughout academe and have done enormous damage to basic scholarly standards and disastrously undermined belief even in the possibility of knowledge. I suspect history will not be kind to the leading professors who appear to have put loyalty to friends and colleagues above defending scholarly values during a chaotic era of overt vandalism that has deprived several generations of students of a profound education in the humanities. The steady decline in humanities majors is an unmistakable signal that this once noble field has become a wasteland.”

Anything focused on real intelligence, literacy, and human beings have been thrown to the wayside. I see it in holistic medicine as well, everyone willy-nilly willing to go to their white-coat and pay through the nose for their crap. People follow each other like lemmings to the sea to drown no matter how much it costs.

The headlong rush to judgment by so many well-educated, middle-class women in the #MeToo movement has been startling and dismaying. Their elevation of emotion and group solidarity over fact and logic has resurrected damaging stereotypes of women’s irrationality that were once used to deny us the vote. I found the blanket credulity given to women accusers during the recent U.S. Senate confirmation hearings for Brett Kavanaugh positively unnerving: it was the first time since college that I truly understood the sexist design of Aeschylus’s Oresteia, whose mob of vengeful Furies is superseded by formal courts of law, where evidence is weighed.”

WOW!!

What I see spreading among professional middle-class women is a bitter resentment toward men that is in many cases unjust and misplaced. With divorce so easy since the sexual revolution, women find themselves competing with younger women in new and cruel ways. Agrarian women gained power as they aged: young women were brainless pawns whose marriages, pregnancies, childcare, cooking, and other chores were acerbically supervised and controlled by the dictatorial crones (forces of nature whom I fondly remember from childhood).

In short, #MeToo from a historical perspective is a cri de coeur from women who are realizing that the sexual revolution that many of us had once ecstatically embraced has in key ways devalued women, confused their private relationships, and complicated their smooth functioning in the workplace. It’s time for a new map of the gender world.”

She’s speakin’ it. On many points, I agree with her. Crack a book, folks; female and male.

Camille-Paglia

A Video that Goes Perfectly with “I’ll Never Love Again” by Lady Gaga from “A Star Is Born”

First, start the song, then scroll down and start the video. As a woman, this is how love tends to be for us. Especially after too much sex where the man is not or will not be emotionally involved with us. What’s the point then? It’s a deep pool where we feel alone being who we are.

 

This video is really beautiful and unique. I just happened to see it on my FB feed while I was listening to Lady Gaga’s song. Just keep the mute on the video while you listen to the song.

Possessing Free Will Does Not Make us Separate From One Another

Deterministic philosophy is all the rage and so very hip these days. Machine learning, A.I., tech, humans as cogs in a wheel and not really culpable for our choices from second to second. There is no moral responsibility and no duty then. Everyone is completely free to be low level selfish and just use each other. Why not stare at our androids and be macabre and depressed? Add to that disparaging spirituality, the existence of God or Source and outright hatred of religious expressions and sentimentality and it has become an emotional bias on the part of the anarchists, the clever, and the elite. Maybe they feel oppressed or in the minority on this issue? Too many people are happy and positive, empowered and taking action and making them want to hurl? Statistics have shown that most people on the planet believe in God and an afterlife. That’s terrible news for a determinist in their cave of cynicism.

We could be rational and intuitive, instead of pretending to be just rational like a robot. Let’s get a handle on our emotions. Yes, you do have feelings. We all do. Men especially need to be allowed to be human beings, not robots. And frankly, it’s up to the women to kind of, open the window and let the fresh air in for them. It does require a lot of patience and sighing. We’ve had permission socially to be emotional and intuitive for thousands of years as mothers. Men have NOT had permission and it’s a freaking debacle for them and for everyone!

First, here is the definition of deterministic philosophy and it’s types. It’s not very long;

Click here Unless You Don’t Read. Then I insist You Click It.

” A theory that all events, including moral choices, are completely determined by previously existing causes. Determinism is usually understood to preclude free will because it entails that humans cannot act otherwise than they do. The theory holds that the universe is utterly rational because complete knowledge of any given situation assures that unerring knowledge of its future is also possible.

Wait…the scientists can barely predict anything with any accuracy, especially when it comes to theoretical physics. They blame the existence of infinity for that. Yes, infinity has been proven.

Infinity is Ruining Physics

Real analysis

In real analysis, the symbol {\displaystyle \infty }, called “infinity” or the leminscate, is used to denote an unbounded limit.[21] The notation {\displaystyle x\rightarrow \infty } means that x grows without bound, and {\displaystyle x\to -\infty } means that  xdecreases without bound. If f(t) ≥ 0 for every t, then[22]

  • {\displaystyle \int _{a}^{b}f(t)\,dt=\infty } means that f(t) does not bound a finite area from {\displaystyle a} to {\displaystyle b}
  • {\displaystyle \int _{-\infty }^{\infty }f(t)\,dt=\infty } means that the area under f(t) is infinite.
  • {\displaystyle \int _{-\infty }^{\infty }f(t)\,dt=a} means that the total area under f(t) is finite, and equals {\displaystyle a}

Infinity is also used to describe infinite series:

  • {\displaystyle \sum _{i=0}^{\infty }f(i)=a} means that the sum of the infinite series converges to some real value {\displaystyle a}.
  • {\displaystyle \sum _{i=0}^{\infty }f(i)=\infty } means that the sum of the infinite series diverges in the specific sense that the partial sums grow without bound.[citation needed]

Infinity can be used not only to define a limit but as a value in the extended real number system. Points labeled {\displaystyle +\infty } and {\displaystyle -\infty } can be added to the topological space of the real numbers, producing the two-point compactification of the real numbers. Adding algebraic properties to this gives us the extended real numbers.[23] We can also treat {\displaystyle +\infty } and {\displaystyle -\infty }as the same, leading to the one-point compactification of the real numbers, which is the real projective line.[24] Projective geometry also refers to a line at infinity in plane geometry, a plane at infinity in three-dimensional space, and a hyperplane at infinity for general dimensions, each consisting of points at infinity.

Blah, blah, blah. As you can see, infinity is “a thing”.

Freewill increases unity and interdependence, not separateness which is dysfunction and conflict. Human beings tend to be willful and passionate. We are emotional creatures and that’s a good thing. It makes us individual creators that have unique perspectives. That perspective helps the universe expand and therefore, each person counts in the universal scheme of things. There is no other reason to live. If we live in a deterministic universe where we truly have no say, you may as well not be alive. Why are you taking up space as a cog in a wheel if you really believe that? Since no one really cares or shouldn’t because it doesn’t matter, we can have never-ending war and just kill every person on the planet and then blow it up.

No thanks. And, it’s highly irrational for people who claim to be detached and rational to believe anything of the sort.

cropped-beautiful-tree.jpg

 

Continue reading “Possessing Free Will Does Not Make us Separate From One Another”

Male Intuition and the Sacred Masculine

I feel like apologizing for always blogging on the feminine intuition, feminist issues and the need for women to empower themselves in the midst of the patriarchal paradigm by using their intuition. But I’m not going to because…I’m a woman! I don’t have a man’s perspective on what it means to be a man right now in the patriarchal system.  What I do know is there is still a tremendous amount of unequal power for both men and women, Guys have rough patches too but I’m not sure they know how to express it as well as women. We have the communication advantage in our brains.

Nevertheless, I had a very significant dream last night that is leading me to blog on this difficult topic.  It does segue into the Twin Flame phenomenon too because the Twin Flame journey is all about spiritual ascension or spiritual maturing for both parties. It doesn’t have to be heterosexual but in my case it is.

I remember the details of what I was dreaming most of the night and it was run of the mill, nothing exciting; just my mind letting go of habits is what I surmised. Then, a very big, black crow that seemed very real, not ethereal like the rest of the dream, showed up right next to me in my house and quickly flew away with the help of another woman shewing him away. He was pretty big and very alive. I felt no death whatsoever around this bird. He was powerful. This crow was grounded and had his own ways but I was very surprised as soon as I saw him in the house and said, “How did this crow get in here?!” The other woman knew a bird like that should not be in the house and helped me get rid of it.

Now as I’m writing, the crow felt shamanistic or deeply masculine, the cave, and the dark which in my tradition, we usually ascribe to the feminine because of the dark of the womb, the seed, the egg, gestation, the womb, and birth. Male energy is usually the light of the Mind. Everything is shifting right now on the planet and I believe this dream was a harbinger of the sacred masculine balanced with the sacred feminine coming forward. Indeed, that is what the Twin Flame journey is about. Males and females are both light and dark, yin and yang, male and female. We’ve always said that in my field but it’s never actually manifested in our institutions on this planet! That’s been the problem.

This is similar to the actual, real-life appearance of a raccoon in the open skylight on the roof of the cottage in which I was staying in California three weeks ago. He was trying to come in and I had to quickly close the skylight. Both of these animals are totems or archetypes for Blue Monkey in the Mayan System or a Trickster, creator, and mover. It is play, illusion, and magic. But Crow is also a Blue Eagle archetype which is creativity, mind, and vision. They are both Blue so they are closely related in energy. Blue kin is all about transformation. I am definitely doing that right now!

When looking at yin-yang energy, it’s easy to characterize it in a good vs. bad dichotomy. Females are valued and rewarded for being good, warm, loving, small and nurturing and are punished for being bad girls, big, strong, powerful, hypersexual and are slut-shamed. Males are valued for being aggressive (within reason depending on the context), protective, mean (also depending on the context), bad, rebellious, and rampaging anything that’s big! They are punished for being too small, fearful, wimpy, emotional, indecisive and more. These aspects are still entrenched in our system.

As we all know now, in 2018, this is B.S.! Women and men absolutely do share all of these traits and swap them around when they feel like it. God bless America! In our country, we truly do believe human beings have the right to express their true feelings and sexuality even if we don’t rock it in public yet. Everyone still has their secrets.

None of those traits are ascribed in stone to either sex anymore and those that do are so un-hip. Right? On the surface, most women and men still try to rock those boxes but we’re really not supposed to anymore and the younger generation will get in your face about it. My nineteen-year-old hates it when I classify the genders in those boxes. Yet, look at all the leading sports programs, politics, and all the television shows. Men are still very dominant and portrayed in those boxes. It’s a function of patriarchy. Women are seeping in only slowly (female sportscasters) and when they do, they have to act somewhat masculine or just are that way to be socially acceptable! The women can’t act very feminine yet. It’s taboo.

Where is the sacred masculine in all of this? The earth. The ways of nature are male and female. Whenever the natural forces of procreation are challenged, the powerful earth energy steps in. Strong drumming evokes the balance of the male/female energies in sex and alignment, equally! The earth loves her daughters and her sons equally and wants them to walk together in balance on her. It’s only humans all over the world that still prefer sons. Men who love and take care of their bodies, who honor their strong feelings and inclinations, who are creative souls and express themselves in their art, who still want to fuck with abandon and feel no shame just like the animals and the insects.

Men are men and women are women. But we are more similar than different by nature and we both can embody bad and good traits without judgment if we just loosen up those boundaries and deeply feel our bodies and drop the definitions of who we are by Church, state, and media. And we both need to love ourselves as we are.

You have to see this. Trust me, you will dig it! Just click.

Drumming Group-Very cool!

You won’t believe this woman. She is very talented and super beautiful.

Cassandra Fox Belly Dancing. Unbelievable

 

 

 

 

 

Shaming Intimate Human Feeling as a Tool of Patriarchy; Separation and Control

Why Patriarchy Is Not About Men

By Miki Kashtan Ph.D. says, 

In the European historical lineage, which later affected many other cultures through colonial contact, the shift to separation and control coincided with making paternity central. (Instead of matrilineal descent) How paternity came to be central after it wasn’t for 97% of the existence of Homo Sapiens is way beyond what a blog post can address. What is important to note, though, is that once paternity becomes important, controlling women is inevitable, because only by controlling women can it be reliably known who the father is. There is an irreducible distance between the biological father and the offspring that can only be eliminated fully by imprisoning a woman and preventing any other man from having access to her. This is why patriarchal societies by necessity become societies of control and separation. We have become so habituated to this state of affairs that most of us don’t even see that it is our own creation.”

I have three sources that I’ve referred to in learning about matriarchy or matrilineal kinship over the last few years. Matriarchy preceded patriarchy by about ten thousand years it is believed, by studying archeological finds all over the world. Right here at the beginning, I will once again state that it is my great wish for gender equity in private and in public, not re-visiting matriarchal dominance in our modern society or in our homes. Keep in mind that the family is also an institution. Women and men need to share power equally in all of our institutions or frankly, those institutions will disintegrate under the influence of excess testosterone seen mostly in militarism. At the grassroot level in the home, it manifests as domestic violence, lack of birth control, and disrespect for women’s feeling nature and consequently men’s feeling nature.

My sources are:

The Book; “The Origin of the Family, Private Property and the State” by Friedrich Engels

In this book, stages of prehistoric culture are outlined first as savagery, then barbarism and civilization.

I then found a lengthy article as a commentary on Engels, written by Chris Knight. It was: “Engels was Right; Early Human Kinship was Matrilineal”

Early Human Kinship was Matrilineal

He delves into the question; “Was the primordial human social institution the family or the matrilineal clan?” His conclusion based on science is that it was the matrilineal clan. In other words, matriarchy is not a myth; it was real. Here is another link noting their existence;

Five Matriarchal Societies In History

They are The Nubians in Egypt, The Trobrianders in Africa, the Palawan in SE Asia, the Khasi in NE India, and the Mosvo in SW China.

Kashtan says,

Boys are now brutalized in ways that girls are not in order to prepare them for positions of domination. As bell hooks says, “Learning to wear a mask (that word already embedded in the term ‘masculinity’) is the first lesson in patriarchal masculinity that a boy learns. He learns that his core feelings cannot be expressed if they do not conform to the acceptable behaviors sexism defines as male. Asked to give up the true self in order to realize the patriarchal ideal, boys learn self-betrayal early and are rewarded for these acts of soul murder.” (bell hooks, The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love)”

When human feeling is shamed, the body is shamed. The body is one with the Mind which consists of thoughts and feelings and the Spirit. Thus, in holism, we say “Mind, Body, Spirit” and this is our paradigm shift in this current day and age. It is my life’s work for the last twenty years. In my estimation,

*We are up against the degradation of intuition on the part of patriarchal institutions of Church and State, even though it’s widely known that our greatest scientists and artists were very balanced in intuition and rational thinking. The two combined are the higher mind.

*We are up against Newtonian Mechanics and reductionist philosophy still taught in most of our medical schools shoring up the failing western health care system. (Is your body really a car? No) Quantum Physics is more accurate now.

*We are up against Artificial Intelligence (A.I.) and technology being put on a pedestal of machine learning that supposedly transcends the dregs of humanities ability with blood, muscle, and effort to get the job done. In other words, Real Intelligence is pitted against Artificial Intelligence.

*We are pitted against a worldwide media that portrays human beauty in a very small box and everyone else should be replaced by a machine. This is once again, the degradation of the human body.

They can’t get into EVERY corner of our private lives. We can restrict the invasion of our privacy in our own homes, make different choices, keep having sex the way we want to, with whomever we want to, or intimate relationships before sex the way we need to. We can keep sharing our authentic feelings one on one with friends and family. We can be kind to one another whenever possible.  We can practice holistic medicine, only visit the doctor in an emergency, boycott health insurance and take care of our body ourselves with effort and with cash. In all of those ways, we can realize that we are real humans with a lineage that is universal; not matrilineal or patrilineal based only on our birth family or DNA.

Earth in a Spiral

What is Connection?

A connection is an affinity, an ease of communication, an understanding of another person, a desire to get to know someone better, the real possibility of a lasting friendship, and for women, respect. For men, it’s a huge turn-off to contemplate respecting a woman although most won’t admit it.

A connection does not denote love, being in love, physical attraction, desire for sex, desire to get married, desire to live with you, dreaming of a future, desire for a boyfriend, an attempt to control the other person, or dependency. Just because a guy feels a connection to a woman he really…should not freak out in fear that she’s going to control him with her feminine ways and make him give her babies. Or, post-reproduction, make him grow up and face and express his feelings. Most of us are too busy to try to control you. We ask that you organize yourselves. That’s usually asking too much though.

Interdependent connection between a woman and a man means you each have your own lives, take responsibility for knowing and expressing how you feel, making your own physical appointments, have boundaries that you agree on for privacy, but depend on each other for whatever you’re comfortable with which is usually quite a bit; affection, sex, sharing food duties, household chores, and child and pet care. Personally, though, I think couples need to have their own money and manage it themselves but sometimes merging it makes a bigger pile obviously. However, spending priorities can cause a divorce so, in that case, keep it separate.

I happened to be sitting next to a guy at a bar several months ago and he got a text from a woman he’d been dating. He told me she was really hot (like I need to know that. He wanted me to know that). She had just texted that she was willing to help him decorate his new place. He complained to me that that was intrusive and overcontrolling of her. I just shook my head. Men. You overinterpret us just being nice, way too much. We just like to do girly stuff.

You also make an awful lot of dumb assumptions about our sexual prowess and skill based on our body shape and size. That’s like assuming an orange that’s bigger than the other ones won’t taste as good pulling it off the tree when it truth, it will likely be sweeter and juicier! Your loss dude. Think through stuff more. A smart woman in life is a smart woman in bed, no matter her size. And if she’s smart, she’ll be detached in her feelings and won’t necessarily want you to stay. We independent types like the whole bed to ourselves. You’re programmed to prefer thin women and that’s just dumb.

Another guy I sat next to one time pointed out a large-sized waitress and said, “She looks good to me. It makes me hungry looking at her.” I’m thinking, “Does he see her as a roast chicken and potatoes or a human being?” I mean really! It would have been funny if it wasn’t so stupid! Again, I shook my head.

Women have given up on all of that. A simple connection means you guys stay calm enough, nixing the drama and fear, that we can have your short attention span for maybe ten minutes? Most women won’t settle for that anymore and many women are just going to women; lesbianism. The only women left who want you will be women that want babies and that will be all they want from you if that’s the only skill you’ve developed. But if you flirt, don’t lie about it and act like you haven’t. All guys flirt even just to see how far he can get, even if he doesn’t mean it. But if you flirt, and we flirt back, you better deliver dude.

Most women are independent, not dependent. Women “act” dependent for your ego. That’s it. Most women have an education and know they need to have their own money because let’s face it; most of the time you use your money to try to control us and then die or walk out and we would have no money. No woman wants to be controlled and penniless. There’s no room for love to grow there and no security for us. All women want love before anything else but many women have compromised for so long, not having the connection and affection they need that they’re out of touch with their body. Just sex is just the worst for us. It’s Mcdrive-thru Sex. Horrid. It also tells us you aren’t very bright. Only dogs just fuck and eat fast food for God’s sake.

I’ve known more than one man who I had friendship and affinity with and flirting, run the other way because I returned it. I’m mystified. We’re not supposed to like you back or you split? Are we just supposed to stand there, bask in it, and look pretty, never say anything smart and let you control every aspect of the relationship to your comfort level because you’re so insecure? That’s the only way you’ll come back or stick around? Oh well then, see ya!

Woman on a mountain

 

 

 

An Addict’s Ability to Project is Prolific

My experience and intuition tell me that this happens when a person isn’t in control of their own body, habits, and life. It’s ultimately a health issue and usually tied to addiction. I grant that at the root of addictive behavior are deep emotional wounds, likely from childhood and unconscious or subconscious mind, and that we each want to feel better physically and emotionally and be freer. But at whose expense? It should be at your own expense. The rest of us should not be at the receiving end of your unwillingness to get some help. No one expects deep addiction issues to be handled alone. But the least we ask is that you not offload onto we civilians who are not professionals and seek professional help. I’m guessing there isn’t one person on the planet who doesn’t intimately know an active addict and it breaks everyone’s hearts; mostly your children.

It doesn’t matter how much you love someone or if they are your soul mate or your twin flame; the committed addict ruins everything. They have to use a drug to nullify their feelings and make every excuse in the book to use it and even break the law to justify it. Gee, what would that be? Civil disobedience to unjust laws that protect the public from irrational behavior while you’re on the substance or god forbid, you’re driving while on something?

You have to move on. There is no choice here or you will go down with their ship. It’s not worth it.

Alcoholism and other addictions are epidemics in our society and I’m so sick of dealing with it everywhere I turn. The weirdest part is when there is memory loss regarding communication. Even when you have proof of what they said in an email or text and they deny it. It’s unbelievable that someone can still attempt to pin a behavior on you when you have proof that they are the ones behaving that way. Goodbye. No trust.

I guess the definition of an addict is someone who is completely out of touch with their feelings and haven’t a clue what the truth is for them. So they go haphazardly through life, screwing up all of their relationships with friends, co-workers, employees, mates, and children. You would think that would be incentive enough to get some help but I’m guessing they’d just as soon stay in denial and lazy about getting a grip and fixing it. They have no inner courage.

Those deep wounds aren’t anyone else’s’ problem but theirs no matter how hard they try to tell you there is something wrong with you. That is the projection and there is no end to it. There is such a thing as an innocent party who is just learning that you are abusing a substance to the point of behavior change. Once we learn that they are not cogent, then it’s our responsibility to walk away and let the chips fall where they will. Otherwise, you’ll get into co-dependency instead of interdependency and that’s not going to help anyone.

Co-dependent is enabler and addict depending on one another to keep the addiction going. Health, money, structure, and life is in chaos for both. It’s a destructive cycle and no one is healthy or happy. All of your relationships are screwed up and most people who know you are mad at you.

Interdependent means you both are in charge of your own lives, know how you feel, express it, take care of yourself, have friends who like you and you like them, have your money and things organized, are able to say you’re sorry, and like any normal human being, have needs and want to depend on someone for support once in a while.

Let’s hope we can pair up with the people we truly deserve, not the ones we don’t.
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Possession in a Relationship is a Double Standard

This issue has always befuddled me as I observe myself and others bonding with a partner for as long as I can remember. It’s the double standard regarding monogamy for women and men. No one is telling the truth.

Men portray a desire for novelty, a polyamorous lifestyle but they are the most territorial and jealous when they find a woman they really want to latch on to or as they call it, “fall in love”. They will marry and swear monogamy but they don’t usually mean it. Any woman with a brain in her head knows that. They may mean to try which is admirable but they aren’t wired for it. So, the possession thing works really well for them to attempt to control it. If they can possess and dominate their wives, that’s a turn on and maybe he won’t have to stray. He’s got what he needs at home. She’s his love slave or so he thinks. She lets him think that.

Women portray a desire for bonding, family, reproduction, monogamy, and love and they are much more territorial about their children, making sure they have a father than they are the man himself. I’m not sure guys know that, but it’s the mother love dominating the situation. He has a role to play in her home and it’s for her children. Men have a use and it’s to give us babies and be a present father. That’s not always the best thing for a man as a soul and I’ll be the first to say it! Men need love too but those babies usually win. Being possessed does not work so well for women nor do women really want the extra work of possessing a man. She possesses her children and now women are possessing themselves.

Now as I look at this, it seems like men are the ones not receiving the love they need. I used to think it was women. Actually, it’s both women and men because of reproduction. The children are getting all the love and there’s nothing left for the partners. This is a near-universal issue and after the children are grown, most parents divorce. Some even divorce while the children are young and that is not ideal at all.

So what is the motivation for possession post-reproduction in middle age? If either person has had a line of failed marriages or partners, maybe they need to prove something to themselves; that they can love and remain bonded to a partner. It’s sort of a rite of passage for all souls I think. Love and affinity is a universal desire whether it’s with a soulmate, a friend, or twin flames. I hope we all find it.

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