Essay; It’s Better to Have Loved


Susan Bauser, Artist

You know the saying,

“It’s better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.”-Alfred Lord Tennyson

I have a new sense about it. If I love, anyone, for any length of time for any reason, my heart may break open but that is never a loss. I don’t feel that I’ve lost anything by loving but have gained. My soul is awakened by connection, care, and bonding.

What I lose is what I did not need; belief that I control that which I cannot; others and their feelings in addition to my feelings.  I lose the belief that I can control their movement, coming and going.  I lose ego, loneliness, radical independence, no connection, cynicism, even resentment for humans just because we can be weak!

All there is, in the end, is love. People say that all the time but I really feel I come from love and will eventually return to love. And love is what binds me together with all life forms.

So maybe my perception is that I’ve lost a lot in my life.  That has indeed been my perception. But if I’ve loved and learned in the midst of that I haven’t lost anything at all; I’ve gained the gift of my soul being broken open.

As a writer and an artist, that’s all I’ve ever wanted.  Now I have the rest of my life to tell stories and express how tragically beautiful that brokenness can be and how it’s the only path to wholeness.

No one gets to skate past being broken.  It’s pretty much what happens to everyone on this planet. We’re equal in that.

Essay; St. Valentine BeHeaded


st-valentine

Here’s some romance for you…

Today is actually a Catholic Feast day of St. Valentine. He was a Catholic martyr of course, and as it says below, he was beaten with clubs, beheaded, buried at night in secret, and dug up by his followers.

His crime was voicing his dissent at the Romans because the young men were forbidden to marry young women. Instead, the Romans made it a priority that young men become soldiers for their wars.  You know, “Make war, not love”, the opposite of what the hippies said in the ’60s.

Well, sex, reproduction, gender balance, honoring nature, loving and taking care of the body, those are women’s values. The Romans were busy making sure patriarchy, the rule of rich, white men came to the fore.

Working-class men became fodder for capitalism, the military-industrial complex, materialism, the draft, and war.  The Romans started it and it continues today in modern society.

If men had been allowed to fulfill their role by nature in balance with women they would have been taught and allowed to love women, love, and care for their own body, value being a father, learn the values of monogamy, not polyamory, and find balance between the work they loved and the family they loved.

That’s all been ripped apart for men and by association, women.

Men are used as much by the system that oppresses them as they oppress women.  The system uses men to keep women down and I doubt the men even know it.

The historical proof of this is in the life of St. Valentine who advocated for Love between women and men and was killed for it by The State.

Patriarchy has brainwashed men into believing that they are not to love women, that women aren’t to be trusted, and their highest destiny is in aligning with the powers of church and state.  The truth is, we’re called and made to love each other. Roman society killed that.

The birth of misogyny and the failure of gender equity is what Valentine’s Day is really commemorating and it is as Okoto Enigma says, “An apocalypse of Love”.

Women continue to directly suffer for it by lack of loving bond in sex with men if we’re straight. Also, not being paid the same amount of money for the same quality of work.  So not only are we deprived physically and emotionally but monetarily as well.

Thanks for trying St. Valentine but the arrow is still stuck in our hearts.