I’m extremely impressed with this website. It’s cogent, professional, rational, reasonable…not very sexy at all. Definitely relationship material for something long term that could eventually smolder. Check it out!
This is just the first suggestion as you scroll down. Maybe I’ll e-mail this to my Federal Representatives and Senators.
From the article:
What SHOULD we do?
It’s assumed that in any conflict based on values and politics, that people take sides. Whether they voice their opinion or not, we know human beings are not naturally impartial. We all have an opinion and feelings behind those opinions. What we always fail to do is listen to each other if we don’t agree or to hold the value of give and take or take and give as the case may be.
I don’t do that. I listen to my patients spouting things on the table in treatment all the time that I don’t agree with. But I know that humans are not by nature rational; they are by nature emotional…every last one of us. When there is pain or illness in the body, it’s emotional based, so I let them vent and remain detached as a professional practitioner. They’re not paying me to have an opinion on how they feel.
That’s why this page (the link) is so important. It’s impartial, neutral, above the fray in its approach. That is not to say the writers don’t have personal opinions. They just know that their personal opinions won’t get anyone anywhere. That’s what FB is for right?
Facebookers are just posturing, spreading some real, some fake news and venting. It might be interesting for sociologists to read but I just scroll past whatever I’m not interested in. Knowing that is part of being a mature adult and deciding to contribute to problem-solving rather than feeling the need to prove that your point is right all the time. Everybody thinks they’re right…from their point of view…which is myopic.
Being a mediator or a diplomat means you stand at the peak of the mountain seeing both sides, and both sides stand below in the valley duking it out with rules of engagement. Sometimes just duking it out will resolve it but if there are guns involved no way, no how.
So someone…please mediate this issue, let’s find common ground as Americans and stop reliving these massacres and thinking we can pray our way out while our heads are in the sand.
Take a look at that website! It’s awesome.
It’s Biology, Not Socialization
“At the time, it seemed clear to me that any between-sex differences in thinking abilities were due to socialization practices, artifacts and mistakes in the research, and bias and prejudice. … After reviewing a pile of journal articles that stood several feet high and numerous books and book chapters that dwarfed the stack of journal articles … I changed my mind.”
Why? There was too much data pointing to the biological basis of sex-based cognitive differences to ignore, Halpern says.”
“Halpern and others have cataloged plenty of human behavioral differences. “These findings have all been replicated,” she says. Women excel in several measures of verbal ability — pretty much all of them, except for verbal analogies. Women’s reading comprehension and writing ability consistently exceed that of men, on average. They outperform men in tests of fine-motor coordination and perceptual speed. They’re more adept at retrieving information from long-term memory.”
I am a female and all of that is the case for me. Is it for you? In this area particularly, we need to be patient with each other as men and women. Men are seriously behind us in communication and verbalization skills which women need SO much with a partner. We need to be able to talk to each other. Men can’t take it after awhile. They just need our bodies, is what I’ve noticed. That can be hard on women who need talking, bonding, and emotion to be turned on. Men only need that some. Some don’t need it at all which is a real problem. But curiously, I’ve heard more men say, when looking for a partner, “I just need to be able to talk to her.” That’s a good thing.
“Men, on average, can more easily juggle items in working memory. They have superior visual-spatial skills: They’re better at visualizing what happens when a complicated two- or three-dimensional shape is rotated in space, at correctly determining angles from the horizontal, at tracking moving objects and at aiming projectiles.
Well, of course, they’re better at aiming projectiles, come on!
Navigation studies in both humans and rats show that females of both species tend to rely on landmarks, while males more typically rely on “dead reckoning”: calculating one’s position by estimating the direction and distance traveled rather than using landmarks.”
It’s Important for Women to NOT Expect Men to Be Like Women. It’s Important for Men to NOT Expect Women to Be Like Men.
“New technologies have generated a growing pile of evidence that there are inherent differences in how men’s and women’s brains are wired and how they work.”
So, here’s to peace and bonding.
My last post was a review of Colin Woodard’s book, “American Character”. I’ve organized and analyzed his thoughts from the final chapter, “A Lasting Union”. They are definitely worth considering, and I’m going to do it here. Most of these are proposed remedies; what we can do differently in choosing the next President. It’s fairly obvious to me that Woodard is a Democrat, so take it or leave it.
1. The Promotion of Human Happiness. That’s a core part of the Bill of Rights. But it seems to be lost on politicians that either want to cause citizens suffering or don’t care.
2. Accept who we are as a nation. We are a Union, but we are not unified, and likely will not be for awhile. We are a federation comprised of eleven countries that share little regarding universal ideals, goals, and views on the meaning of freedom. Those nations are First Nation, New Netherland, The Midlands, Yankeedom, New France, Tidewater, Greater Appalachia, The Deep South, El Norte, The Far West, The Left Coast. These are the American Nations today regarding function, culture, values, and history. To understand the cultures of each of these, you could read the book, “American Nations.” by the same author.
Time and again, with no more discussion wasting our time, Americans will not accept and have not allowed in the past:
If you don’t know what these are, please google them. You will find relatively short definitions, easy to understand, and there are entire libraries littered with stories of leaders attempting to get citizens to swallow this. Americans won’t.
3. A Leading Northern Alliance that
4. Free and Fair Competition between individuals and the ideas, output, and institutions they produce.
5. Leave people alone to be themselves.
6. Use the government to protect individual freedom be it economic or civic. It is a collective referee. Stop hereditary privilege. (How?)
7. Let go of the projections of “handouts.” or “trickle down.” Neither or those is happening, and neither do they work. They are myths.
8. A supportive government that has your back for a time, not forever as you make your way up in the world or keeping your power in check if you are 0.1% at the top.
9. Let go of labels, liberal or conservative, Democrat or Republican.
10. Equality of Opportunity. Individuals are obviously not equal by nature, but the society owes it to each person to make sure they have a chance to do better. Then it’s up to them to apply themselves.
11. Destroy special privilege that hasn’t been earned. (What if their ancestors earned it,)
12. The Doctrine of Fairness is equality of opportunity and intervention against oligarchy. Again, my question, who gets to define justice?
Conservatives may accurately say that this is contrived. Some people are born into wealth that was earned by their ancestors. I don’t have an answer to this yet.
13. Re-channeling wealth
14. Defensive Regulation
15. Investment in schools and basic scientific research
16. Isolate, ignore, and move against Greater Appalachia and The Deep South in all elections.
17. Economic fairness as the central moral issues of politics (I disagree with this.)
Now as I look at this list I see Robin Hood. Steal from the rich to give to the poor. That is ASSUMING the rich have ill-gotten gains. That simply is not true for all rich people. Forcing the wealthy who legally have money, to share is called stealing. It can also be tinged with jealousy from those who have not. So, the rich can look to Warren Buffet and Bill Gates who are fine examples of philanthropy for the world. But the Democrats can’t force the rich to behave a certain way.
If I’m rich someday, I will be delighted to be a philanthropist, but you have to watch out for takers, users, and offloaders, even if you’re just an open-hearted real person, money aside!
I went out tonight to hear jazz.
I was perfectly happy sitting alone with my sushi and drink.
Then I feel these tentacles pulling on me and then staring, wanting my attention, wanting to talk, wanting to come over. He was needy and lonely. I wasn’t. Why was he? How many times have I seen men like that.
He’d already struck up a conversation with me from two chairs down which was ambitious.
He was smart and interesting fortunately and now we’re friends…I guess. Who knows? We know each other’s name.
I said, “Come on over and we can chat,” and he said, “I’d like that.”
But I still got that lusty, “You’re cute” vibe from him after a bit and left to chat with my other friend who I knew wouldn’t throw that energy at me.
I don’t know if some men want to use me to forget themselves, forget their wife who died, or to remember themselves. Maybe it’s all of those.
But I still feel used when all I wanted to do was hear music so I could just relax and take care of myself.
I have to take care of myself. No man is taking care of me and I m not asking because I know the answer. It’s all different in middle age. A man owes me nothing now because I’m not going to have any more children. I pay my mortgage and all of my bills on my own, no help from anyone at all, including the government.
Why does he feel male privilege to bother me?
They either want attention, sex, food, or talking, even from a stranger!
The last thing he wants to do is to take care of himself the way I do.
Maybe that’s just my generation.
And yet, the men supposedly have more of everything for themselves, most of the money, most of the property, most of everything. I’m not so sure about that.
But you still need more from a woman?
Why can I feel myself MORE without a man next to me? That’s curious. Well, except for the one I want.
If you learn how to take care of yourself and share and I’ll give you the time of day.
Because I, and many women like me have nothing more to give you guys that you can’t give to yourselves.
Currently, the Green Party of Michigan has the foremost, best-developed political ideas of any party in the entire state. Our party has a comprehensive platform to stand upon; our values uniquely identified through the Four Pillars and Ten Key Values; our shared vision providing a firm footing for our policy positions and unifying us, both in principle and in political spirit. Without a doubt, the GP-MI has made great advancements in the past year and there are positive signals that this trend of progress will continue.
I have a boundary to set with the commentors on #1 of this post. I am an extremely open minded person that listens to how people feel for a living. I’ve been doing it for 15 years. You are welcome to comment, of course, on the ideas I put forward. But I will cut you off if you simply slam and criticize in anger and negativity in the comments section. I ask that you make constructive criticism, helpful comments regarding a perspective I may not have seen. You have to be civil to me. I don’t allow myself to be mistreated by anyone, for any reason.
I had 4000+ views on my response to Dina since I posted it 6 days ago and many agreed with me and a few did not. I have observed that between WordPress and Facebook and the women I talk to directly, there is an emotional savior complex among women, “we’re in this together”, “don’t deviate” attitude. It’s a very patriarchal attitude and very “churchy” and sacrificial. That is not the kind of movement I will join because in the end it’s controlling and selfish. Women need to take care of themselves and ask for what they want and need and then ask others to join them. It’s empowerment and in my life, it’s based in Spirituality. Everyone is different and no preaching is necessary.
#1 HEALTH OF OUR BODIES AND MINDS and learning how to ask for what we need with regard to it.
I would like women’s health care and women’s right to control our bodies to be a focus. To a great degree, we can do much of this for ourselves. I live in my body 24/7 and it belongs to me. Especially in holistic medicine, my health is in my hands. But for some women, it’s not as simple. For now, we need both allopathic and holistic health care.
I’ve also seen many, many comments that not all women from all opinions and persuasions are being welcomed into the movement; in particular, women who do not support abortion and women who prefer peace, not a closed fist. I personally know two women who voted for Trump just on that issue alone. If feminists are discussing women’s bodies and feelings about reproduction, we need to just LISTEN to the feelings and ideas from all corners. It does not have to be in our platform or in our legislative agenda per se, but we owe it to all women to listen to their point of view if it’s presented in a civil manner.
Since I’m on the issue of civil manner, a women’s movement will in no way be taken seriously by Congress or anyone intelligent who could potentially fund the movement unless we stop the drama, the anger, the religious fanaticism, and the intolerance for those that don’t agree with us.
#2-Passage of the Equal Rights Amendment to the Constitution of the U.S.
That’s the whole thing and it still hasn’t been passed. I just saw this online and I couldn’t believe it.
There is already an Equal Pay Act of 1963 signed by JFK. Women need to read it, know the law and make sure it’s enforced in any job you take. You can find it online. Be brave!
I’m stating this and anyone else who feels this way can wrap their mind and heart around it. Essentially, these are mental mantras that you repeat to yourself over and over, or in a small group to set positive energy. These are not demands or expectations. This is a list of what I want and maybe some other women will as well.
This dates me. Women’s values and perspective change with the new generation. I was born in 1963 so I am at the tail end of the hippie generation (1945-1965).
I’ve always seen the imbalance in power between the genders. First and second wave feminism really helped bring light to the problem and I have no problem being grateful for those lessons that leading women bestowed on us. I will never characterize it as a blood sacrifice though. I will never heed a call to war and I will never begin hating others just to be a so called “dominant woman”. I will also never hark back to the old pagan days of matriarchy that denigrated men.
But this latest seed of misandry, hatred of men from the younger women, no thanks. Since WHEN? have women viewed the energy of heart LOVE as weak compared to that of anger? Maybe we’re not defining love the same way. We’ll have to have a discussion between all of us, including the men. Maybe it’s time to define our terms.
If this latest feminist display continues to embody just mouthpieces or anger and rant, misandry and hate, intolerance of women who express themselves differently, women who are raising loving, hetero males who want to have sex with a woman someday, and no support of LOVE, EDUCATION, THINKING, and ENLIGHTENMENT, No thanks!
This video is excellent making light of the Third Wave of Feminism that is bad seed. It’s toxic and could destroy women’s empowerment. You can’t empower yourself by tearing someone else down, including men.
I have taken out what Dina Leygerman wrote previously. Her writing can stand on it’s own and my writing can stand on it’s own. Be mindful though, that I responded to her original piece and I’ll be adding thoughts and ideas as time moves forward.
NO THANK YOU with regard to Dina’s attitude and approach to feminism. The women who’ve gone before us can be our examples if we listen and learn. I’m a free woman and so are millions of others. No woman gave us our voice. We were born with it and we cultivate it ourselves. At most you could say God gave you your voice and your mother in utero.
There is no amount of pain and sacrifice that will increase what has already been given to us in abundance. These women were teachers who did what they wanted to do, from what they felt from inside of them. I doubt they would characterize what they did as some kind of holy sacrifice. Their example of feeling bold within themselves to say how they felt was where the power was not a sacrifice!
Because we watched and listened, observed and learned from them, we find ourselves where we are now, not because of them. They were not a necessary Jewish blood sacrifice in the spirit of the Old Testament whose values were perpetrated onto Jesus Christ. There is no necessary blood sacrifice!
We do nothing to earn our rights. We are born into these rights. We reap the benefits of watching and reading about these women, strong women, women who fought misogyny and pushed through patriarchy and fought for themselves and everyone like them.
There was so much jealousy, resentment, and disdain I read in the first article because many women have not freed their own souls and come to love themselves. No one is on a pedestal. Being a student of change is not complacent. Some people prefer peace to resistance. Many people, not just women, are deluded about blood, guts, sacrifice, and pain being a good thing and are brainwashed and emotionally injured by religion and Christianity. I was raised in rigid religion! I know what it feels like and what it takes to free myself from the clutches of family expectation and denial. I know the feeling of being alone in a new place, knowing no one but feeling free because my family cannot control my heart, my mind, and my feelings! We do not have to live in a provincial world where we are constantly channeling our ancestors and being freaked out by what our small town or our family might think of us!
WE ARE equally loved and cared for in the eyes of the Universe. WE ARE equal in that we each have a BODY, a MIND, and a SPIRIT. WE ARE equal in that we have a certain amount of TIME on this planet to take our own inclinations and ideas and write, do, or create something new. Turn your media off and tune into YOUR BODY, YOUR BREATH, YOUR BEATING HEART.
Human beings are each different. Women are different than men. Repeat that over and over. Yes, we each have male and female in us but we have very different brains. That’ s all been studied. Women who do not want to act like men or hate men do not deserve to be bashed by angry women. You do not embody love if you think you can tell another woman or another human being WHO THEY ARE. It’s evil and weak.
Not all women feel victimized and dis-empowered because they know how to take care of themselves! Women who get the education they need, do the hard work, make hard choices, stay focused and disciplined can excel beyond most men in every way. It’s up to the woman!!!
As far as our bodies, we have more access to contraceptives in the drug store than we ever have. We have more knowledge about how our bodies work than ever before. Women still always do whatever they want physically. They find a way and always have. Be resourceful. We have the choice to sit in our bodies and feel them, pay attention to how they process, pay attention to when our bodies clench and when they release. We each sit in our body 24/7. The government, The Church, nor the doctor sit in your body AT ALL. You do.
A woman can learn martial arts!!! Men are attacked too.
As far as pregnancy, It is a choice to financially plan for all of that before you get pregnant. If you want to be in control of your body, control your pregnancies too! Pregnancy happens in the body so take control of your pregnancy! Breastfeeding in public is no different than going topless in public. No matter what the reason, men don’t walk around without pants on, neither do women, and women don’t fully expose their breasts in public for any reason. That’s our culture. Most people are not opposed to breast feeding in public. They’re opposed to nudity. I m not opposed to nudity at all but I love and know my body and accept every type of body on my work table. Just cover up a bit. It’s simple.
Men are objectified as much as women.
Men are cat-called on FB and in strip clubs. I just saw a FB friend extol her husband’s ass on FB. If a man did that he’d be called out and chastized. I tend to fawn over men’s bodies with my friends. I do it like I m appreciating art or a tree; not for lust. My attraction to a man is based on emotional bond.
Men are sexualized too. Men are judged for their weight too. Men are told they need to appear young too and are sold products to do that. The brand of car a man drives and how much money he has matters more than his degree too to very superficial women. Men are physically and emotionally abused by women. Wow…is that ever taboo. Many women are much crueler than men and the tone of this movement has empowered women to be as defensive and violent as ever.
Don’t get me wrong. Women and men have the right to defend themselves in the face of aggression from anyone! But not all men are aggressive. And it’s not good for a woman to always feel like she is in defense mode. It is an option to set up your life so that you can live alone or with another woman who is peaceful. It’s true that many men have a self-control problem. I believe it’s because our society treats sex as though it’s bad. My personal observation is that women want to have sex more than men these days. Again, body issues have been perverted by The Church.
You are still worse off if you are a man or woman of color, a gay woman or man, or a transgender woman or man. You are still harassed, belittled, dehumanized. This too depends on your vibe and how you carry yourself. There are many exceptions.
My son expected to know math and be a football jock before he is respected as the artist he is, who is terrible at math, and who loves martial arts not football.
He is told be nice to girls no matter how aggressive and sexual over-acting they are to him, even though HE wants to love a girl and be in a relationship before he has sex because I raised him to be loving to women and men. It’s up to mothers how they raise their son
If you keep telling yourself that you are a victim you will be. Your kids will be too. My son does have equal rights in our culture of bias toward males who are kind, loving, artistic, and brilliant.
Women will not get happier by joining with an unhappy, angry feminist party and they crtainlywont be empowered. Do you really believe that the world will get better by all the unhappiness and suffering you add to it?
No one will walk for my son. He will walk for himself if he feels like it. Each woman has the power to walk and advocate for herself if she learns by example. You have no right to tell women who they are, how they should feel, or what they should do. That’s makes you as bad as the patriarchal men you say you are resisting. And on that note, you prove the point that, you become that which you resist and hate.We need a better strategy with regard to being a co-creator with all that is loving and good
Lisa Townsend, 1/23/17
“Fat’ is usually the first insult a girl throws at another girl when she wants to hurt her. I mean, is ‘fat’ really the worst thing a human being can be? Is ‘fat’ worse than ‘vindictive’, ‘jealous’, ‘shallow’, ‘vain’, ‘boring’ or ‘cruel’? Not to me; but then, you might retort, what do I know about the pressure to be skinny? I’m not in the business of being judged on my looks, what with being a writer and earning my living by using my brain…”-J.K. Rowling
Thin privilege means you’ve proven that you have control over your appetites and just live a healthy good life. If you force yourself, in any manner possible, to be thin, you have the privilege of hovering over others who are not thin and believing you’re better than them because you CONTROL your life, your mind, and your body size at all costs to gain advantage in every way. What society and media has done is cover over their addiction to money, sex, fancy houses, food, drugs, etc., because they have no connection to Source/spirituality. They are using having a thin body as the token for being “in control” of themselves. However, if you dig a little deeper in thin, rich people’s lives, you’ll see all kinds of things out of control that they are hiding. They’re playing the superficial game and it will at some point, come tumbling down. No one on this planet is immune to control issues. And no one has the right to assert that they are better or of more value on the planet because they can appear to be. All the world’s a stage and they are certainly the players. So what they assert is that anyone who is thick, for whatever reason, doesn’t matter as much, is not “in control” of themselves, should not make as much money, and are below the thin people in every way. Right. I don’t think so. Things are changing now.
I’ve already achieved two of my dreams; having a child, and having my own healing practice. I’m convinced, and I’ve heard firsthand accounts from those who have been heavy and are now thin, of the fact that when a woman loses weight, her value and amount of “attention and affirmation” go up astronomically. Thin privilege is real. Some guys say it doesn’t matter when they’re feeling all warm in their heart. But that’s only 1/8 of the time that they’re feeling warm in their heart. The rest of the time they’re a stray dog looking for a b….. To hump. Then it matters! The energy workers say that fat cells hold the vibration of love in a more grounded way than thin/toned women. Thin, toned women function to easily fulfill the sexual appetite of men or women mostly, in my opinion. Let’s face it. Sex can go quicker, is more intense, you can move better and it’s all pretty animalistic when you’re small. Thick people have great sex too. I’m not asserting we don’t. But it takes longer. The men get their grounding through the woman, use her, and throw her-sort of like a dementor in Harry Potter when they can get it quickly. Fat women are self-contained and ground themselves with love through their thickness. The weight pulls on gravity which helps us center our energy like a magnet. It’s just a theory. My son said to me, “It seems like fat people are happier Mom”. Lol. Maybe we’re calmer, less stressed out because we aren’t competing so much. I don’t know.
It’s a diabolical fact in our society that fat people are treated like lepers. It’s because of patriarchy and Capitalism. Fat women are offensive to patriarchal men and women. We’re paid less, viewed as lazy or stupid, unhealthy, an insurance risk, and not touched as much. My ex-husband asked me to lose weight “for him”. Unbelievable. The whole notion is so incredibly nauseating at how superficial and conditional people are in their acceptance of others. One of my old friends lost a TON of weight (she was bigger than me), and she seems most unhappy now that she’s thin. Sure, physically it’s easier to move, but now she’s realizing what she was hiding from when she was overweight and I think it’s getting to her. She was hiding from superficial bullshit! The same thing happened to my older sister. It’s obvious to me that it’s too easy for women to lose themselves in relationships, others, their kids, their community and ignore their body and their needs. It’s too easy for men to lose themselves in sex, toys, money, and indulgence. It turns a man on when a woman loves herself, knows her own mind and needs and loves her body no matter what size it is. I’ve been all sizes in my life. While I’ve been a Mom, I’ve felt very comfy in a thicker body. But now that my son is grown and I want to zip around from 50-95 years old, I think my bones will hold up better if I lighten the load. That said, I’m not going to parade around a different size body like it’s a trophy which degrades those that choose to stay in a thicker body! To each his own.
For me, I respect a man so much if he can control any of his appetites and learn to spend time with a woman and love a woman in a relationship. If he can’t, I don’t respect him, no matter how many degrees, money and accolades he has. Men are going to have to face the fact that unless they can bond monogamously with the woman that really loves and digs him, he’s a failure in societies eyes. We could call that the Tiger Woods syndrome. He’s a world class golfer, yes, intelligent and successful, yes. But he cheated on his wife. That makes him a loser, not a winner.
The same is not true for women. The opposite is true. Single, older women who have their own money are respected and looked up to by everyone. The reason for this is another book.