Essay; Marriage is an Outdated Institution

Seriously?

I’ve been married three times to very attractive, good men lest you think I’m posting sour grapes. I have one son and 2 miscarriages in my column. There was no infidelity from anyone although, not great sex as I’d dreamed. I loved my mates but I was never terribly “in love” or invested in revolving my life around a man which seems to be what they want and need with their bottomless pit egos. I could see that by the time I was ten years old. My personality being caring and wishing for harmony and not bitchy and liking to fight, I was easily dominated once I had a baby. I’m not like that now but I believe most women with small children are easily controlled by the father. That’s another problem. The woman has no time or energy to take care of herself.

This is an evolutionary issue pertinent to this blog because it would change our DNA if we didn’t have the influence of our fathers in utero and in the home. Many women would say that’s a good thing. I know my father was not a very good influence and I hear women say that all the time about their father, but it may be generational. It’s kind of like The Church with its Gregorian Calendar that’s not even accurate. Woman after woman is coming into my office either celebrating her divorce or just happy to be single. We’re so much healthier and happier!! It’s an indisputable statistic in a society of fiction, fantasy, lies, and preferred fake lives that “are nice” and politically correct. Why do people waste their lives cow towing to what unimaginative indolent humans think is good? It’s the blind leading the blind.

I wonder if men are happier single? The word on the street is no, they get lonely. But do NOT quote me on that. I have no facts. I saw a guy say that women are “a hard char” on a blog and found it hilarious. They might be giving up too. And many women are turning to each other for love as well. If they’re just looking for good sex I hear that can be found in lesbian land, no relationship, no bonding. Women are that way now too. Men go fantasy digital or sexting I think since they don’t like feelings. In person scares them if the woman is real flesh, good and intelligent. They go low for sex usually. It’s easier.

What I hear from men is they want sex, food, and someone to talk to, not necessarily in that order. They just want a body around. But again, that may be generational. Sounds like you could just hire someone for that, and pay them well, which involves no love or bonding, no intelligence, and be done with it. “Wife for hire”.

We, single women, hire handymen or women for work around the house we can’t or don’t want to do.The men just throw themselves at us for sex usually, and we have to push them away so no problem there. I am very picky but many women will take whoever, use, and throw him. Gag me.

The origins of marriage are in the virgin sacrifice sex cults in the temple. That’s where the white dress (virginity), the red carpet (blood) and the candle originated as well as religion itself. I’m citing JSTOR articles and The Urantia Book.

Why the preoccupation with a woman being a virgin but not a man? I find it very odd, except that it seems men vampire off of women’s energy to remain alive, like a good piece of fruit. They consume every part of us. If we’re fortunate, in return, we get our children, financial support so we can raise our children, and a home for the family. All of that is changing. Women are valuing an education and a career more than marriage because the price of dependency on a man has become too high, to the point of even costing some women their lives. But the religions still push marriage, obviously to control women because it doesn’t control men. They still do whatever they want because of patriarchy.

The desire to have children may be waning but will never go away. The question is, will men ever show any interest in his own children if there is no marriage? Maybe fathers will start to legally sue more for their rights as fathers. I know many men very much value their children. That may change the game.

Women do not need to vampire off of a man’s energy to survive. We survive from our own Qi and give far too much of it over to men to be used when they could do more for themselves. This is the crux of what has to pivot in the decades following. There has to be gender balance of power on Earth or we will hit the skids on every level of our evolution.

The Mind-Blowing Stats on Male Inequality – Big Think

I’ve been aware of this for years and help men in my practice the same as women.

https://bigthink.com/series/the-big-think-interview/male-inequality/?utm_campaign=weeklynewsletter&utm_source=rejoiner&utm_medium=email&utm_content=01%2F12%2F23+Smarter+Faster&rjnrid=5w4MmpD

I think women over a few generations have invested and given more of their time and energy to help males along because they have always lagged behind females on many fronts. And look at our patriarchal controlled world…the dividend. Not. If women had been in charge, no way it would be this messed up. No way. Women let them run things. We wanted babies. Well, that may have to wait now. Gender equity is more important…I think. The only way men get away with anything is because we let them!

Most women I know have given up, not experiencing a LOVE return on our investment. Women don’t need just sex and money. Women need love and most men just don’t do it.

Feelings and lust are not love. Attachment is not love. FRIENDSHIP and RESPECT is love and it turns most men off to have that for a woman, unless they’re gay. They want diversity, fantasy and kink. I’m not in denial about that but many women still have romantic fantasies about men. It’s dumb. I still really like men but most good ones don’t seem to like me. The trolls line up.

We’ve tried to educate men but they are who they are. They’re not us; heart centered, powerful, and beautiful. Women are awesome. That said, I am not attracted to them in the least.

Looks Only Matter if There is No Love For the Person

This is usually the case and easy to assess quickly. Most people assess a relationship based on looks so it is absolutely doomed over time. This is a no-brainer. If your heart isn’t open or you have a pile of repressed feelings and trauma, you will not succeed in a love relationship. You need to deal with yourself first before you can bond to someone else lovingly.

Everyone has a type that they are sexually attracted to. That is fine and natural. If you’re in your twenties it’s essential that to reproduce you have as much sex as possible. Then you have to have the hots for each other. Lust comes first and it has to be there. But love takes wisdom and maturity which you only figure out in middle age. That’s when true love can happen.

Young mating people cover over their great lust for each other with the word love to get the job of procreation done IMO. Women or mother love dominates young women too much and they are willing to give up much of their self-love and power to the father of her children. This can be a bomb shell over time. Gender disparity will never be checked as long as very competent, tuned in young women marry men that are not equal to them in magic, or an open heart. There is nothing romantic about procreation and having babies so somebody has to lie about it or no one would do it. So we call lust, love, and pay the tab. The marriage lasts maybe until the last child is 15 and then you are usually done with each other. It’s a statistic and an understandable one if you nix the fantasy.

It is also true that most straight men need mental diversity and fantasy and women are just objects for that. They fall romantically into a fantasy they’ve created that they need to have in order to cut the boredom and project that onto some poor woman. Love is definitely blind for men when it comes to relationships which is why it’s so easy for women to manipulate them by objectifying ourselves, making ourselves look hot even if inside, it’s empty. All a woman has to do is take off her shirt and a guy loses his mind. Scary when that’s all he’s got in the first place. Women could take over the world if they didn’t wear bras and shirts! We do wear them so men can keep “trying” to focus.

Most men do not have an open heart. They have feelings but they don’t understand them and this is a function of nature, or has been. It is evolving. They are very emotional though, far more dramatic than women who are very practical so this is mine field for men. But emotions are not love. Sexual feelings of lust are not love. Men don’t get that. Women need to get that and help keep clarity and boundaries.

I get it and take it easy on their feelings. Women are tougher emotionally for sure. Ponder that. We’ve evolved to be because of our children. We adore them and will risk life and limb our entire lives! Women become monster protectors when it comes to our children, rightly so in a predatory world.

Women and their children, male and female are everything. All life IS THAT. End of story. A mother will always be loyal to her son far longer than any wife will be. A woman’s children will always be more loyal to her than any man will be. So what do we have here? Mothers and their children. The center of the Tzolkin, the center of all life. That’s why young women give up some of their power and expression to men for a time; in order to have children.

Men honor your mother and respect her always and forgive her and she will give you the love and respect you crave. Mothers raise your son to pick a good wife by being an example of a good woman who takes care of herself. Teach your son to be a man by supporting his strengths and not being too critical and that he should cleave to his wife so your children will always honor and cherish her. Note that in this scenario everyone wins.

The Timelines are Swinging Wildly, as are the Genders

I can feel it.

Be careful about a few things;

  • The conservatives are crying “victim” because we expose the truth and get taken down or shut up about the corruption of the Left government. WE’RE NOT VICTIMS.
  • All parties have a brain which has the ability to remotely view situations, to use intuition and telepathy. It’s an established fact. End of story. Resist it all you want. Human intuition dwarfs every other kind of knowing. I’m right.
  • Politics is dead. It doesn’t work.
  • Sickcare us dead. It doesn’t work.
  • Always take care of your body first. Do your best to focus on making your body be and feel the way you want it to feel, bar none.
  • Turn off negativity
  • Most men have a problem with their animalistic nature, women don’t. So consider the source when a man counsels you to let it rip. Testosterone. Not.

12:60 Rules our Institutions and The Sciences. It’s Patriarchy. It’s incorrect Math and Not in Alignment with 13:20.

“Our DNA is manifested and grown in utero by our Mother on the Loom of Maya and it’s coordinate is 13:20. It’s a fact of nature. If we refuse to accept it, we will end a portion of the species and the Earth Changes will be more difficult than they need to be.”

Lisa T.-Red 13 Cosmic Skywalker

The Institutions of government, Church, State, and Academia are still patriarchal. Women and children are to be objectified and used for the purposes of men at all costs. We are not protected or loved. 12:60 creates dependency and blame.

Think of every single Tone of CREATION. 12:60 in shadow spins up the opposite; mis-creating.

  • Magnetic Tone 1-No bond. No magnetism
  • Polar Tone 2-Unlevel, no stability. One side and one gender dominates
  • Electric Tone 3-Too many electrons in the body makes the body too dense. We need protons, neutrons, and 5D energy added to bring the light body forward so there is 3D clenching onto illusory manifestation.
  • Tone 4 Self-Existing-There is no Love of the Higher Self which Christ taught. There is only lower self, doormat crucifixion and sacrifice. He wasn’t teaching sacrifice with his crucifixion. He was personally yielding to a situation he chose. He didn’t ask us to be crucified.
  • Tone 5-Radiant. Dull instead, boring, redundant, in shadow
  • Tone 6-Rhythmic. Ill sense of timing, no sweet beat, no music. Drum machines in other words
  • Tone 7-Resonant. No resonance, no sharing, no circulation. Recluse energy. Lockdowns. Fear. Anti-social.
  • Tone 8-Galactic. There is no inhabited galaxy. There are no E.T. or UFO’s. Denial of THE TRUTH of the inhabited universe and our ancestry to dis-empower us. There are millions of species.
  • Tone 9-Solar. Solar forcing, eyes on the sun, the Sun is in charge and it’s MALE. It’s also blind and in error.
  • Tone 10-Manifestation. No manifested LOVE. No more children. Women no longer want to have a baby or have breasts. They’re cutting them off. Men want the woman’s body for himself as his food. No children to compete with. The only manifestation is what the man needs and loves. It’s Draco Reptian agenda bc they made bad decisions in the past desiring 3D power more than love.
  • Tone 11-Spectral. There is no liberation or free will. Earth is a prison/slave planet run by Elon Musk and McDonalds.
  • Tone 12-Crystal. The crystals at the center of the Earth are ignored. Their teaching about sharing, meditation, communing are silent on the surface.
  • Tone 13-Cosmic. We are banned from the cosmic web and the news from the Universal Circuits because the elite men have to play with the nuclear bombs that look like a penis. Have you seen the garden in N. Korea? https://www.wandering-traveler.com/penis-park-korea/
Haesingdang Penis Park…Seriously.
It’s a good thing the entire freaking planet is a pussy park; ALL of creation.

Intimacy; Hip to Be a Ho?

It’s all socially permissible and fine for women and men to be promiscuous now. Everything has changed in the last few years. I include men in the Ho category. In fact they seem to feel privileged to be so detached. I find that doubtful.

Women my age are as hot as ever and the younger men like us because we’re more skilled and can’t get pregnant. Add to that we know what food to eat so our body fluids are tasty. That’s not something most younger women think about because they assume their pheremones have their sexual superiority to us all tied up in a pretty bow.

My generation was not raised to feel perfectly fine about pure sex with no love and I still don’t. But it’s not a happy thing for a woman to go so long without sex that she starts to tighten up to the point of re-virginization. It makes intercourse painful.

The problem there is, as all women know, you could wait forever and slowly become a nun before you find a man with an open heart, emotional skills and capable of intimacy who actually loves you. A woman could easily get stuck hanging out with her gay boyfriend and gay husband like Stanny was to Carrie on “Sex in the City”. Remember how long Carrie had to wait for Big to really love her and then marry her?

So, mainly for health reasons, women and men become Ho’s and have sex outside of love, commitment, and a relationship most of the time. I’m not judging it. I just did it and I wasn’t turned on at all. I walked into the kitchen and said to myself, “I have to live with myself. This is the way I am,” meaning I don’t get turned on unless there is some love and affection, kissing, and matching vibe. I’ve never been superficial or very promiscuous.

Mind you, this man was 6’2″, his body was not just a 10 but more like a 12, perfect manhood, knew what he was doing, brought me coffee and muffin and had luscious lips. And he enjoyed my body and said so! I love my body too. So what! I don’t need his approval.

Nothing. I felt nothing. He was the most detached lover I’ve ever had and I felt sorry for him. He may have actually been a professional because he had the looks and the skill.

I’d rather be celibate. There is nothing I hate more than a man who is hot and utterly emotionally uninvolved with me. This is all feels unfair. If I don’t want my womanhood to close up I have to resort to non-bonded sex with someone I barely know? No. Do you know how many dumb dates I’ve had with trolls? Why can’t men open their hearts more and get with the program? “Ho ho ho” and it’s not even Christmas.

Intimacy; You’re not necessarily in a relationship just because you have sex.

just friends

 

What I’m seeing men do is, instead of doing a series of hook-ups, they decide to be monogamous with one woman. Then the assumption is that is a relationship. No, it’s not; not if you don’t have feelings for one another. It’s just an ongoing hookup which is not a relationship.

You’re in a relationship if you have an ongoing friendship, you care about one another, and you hang out and go out, you love talking to one another, you help each other out sometimes and you eat together. That might include sex, it might not. It might be intermittent sex or not. The man or woman’s sexual behavior does not define the parameters of what a relationship is.

It’s time for women to step up and speak up! We need to accept that sexual communication IS a relationship to men and they don’t understand anything much deeper or how to go about it. Women understand emotions and bonding moreso and absolutely need to mix that in with the sex. But we still should not let the man say, “We had sex so you’re my territory.” Maybe you’re just dating. Sex is just part of dating.

Women are territorial sexually as well but my point is, the emotional friendship bond is what really creates an ongoing relationship; not sex. That should be perfectly obvious given how many people have hook-ups and it means nothing. For that matter, sex doesn’t define marriage either.

Intimacy; dogs or gods?

landscape-1500925839-golden-retriever-puppy

Who could resist that adorable puppy coming running toward them for attention? There ya have it. That’s the curse women are under with cute men. I’ve interviewed women and they agree. When a man is really cute he’s very hard to resist!  It’s terrible. We just want to love em’ up and feed them, make up a dog house, let them stay over, oh geez, on and on and it does us in. There goes the peace we need as females and space to take care of ourselves and get our work done. We really need to learn to resist this instinct!

True to form, I learn something every day about women and men, our basic natures, and realize there were many things I was not taught growing up. Can you relate to that moment someone close to you said something off the cuff and it stuck in your head? That was the case for me with my second husband Dave (my son’s father). He was walking up the stairs one day after a normal conversation and he looked at me and said “We’re like dogs. Men are like dogs” Some men are fancy dogs, or rich dogs, or bad dogs, or good dogs, or work dogs. Some are both! Some are crazy dogs or funny dogs, sexy dogs or sweet dogs. You get the idea.

If you read my blog regularly you can guess I looked at him with disbelief and derision. In no way was I going to accept that as an excuse for his behavior. Nor had I ever entertained a career in dog training or dog breeding by letting a man live with me. I’ve never even owned a dog and don’t want to because I’m consistently told that they are like having another child! Children need to be patted on the head and encouraged, praised with kind words, fed, loved, and kept warm and more. I already did that with my son. I don’t need to do that with a man or a dog. It’s a turn off to me to think about treating a man like a dog. But now I’ve been mulling it over.

I can say with assurance that I have always worked toward and considered myself a goddess as opposed to dog food. In no way have I ever fed my body to a lusty man to be consumed because he’s hungry. I think most women do though! They accept it! It does feel good and women most definitely have the instinct to feed men but it will kill your self-esteem and is not emotionally good for women.

On the other hand, men love those superheroes and I know for a fact they have a rich fantasy life about what great warrior heroes and magical powers they might possess. There’s nothing a man loves more than seeing a woman look at him sincerely as her hero. It’s not that a woman wants or needs to be rescued. We really don’t. But sometimes we definitely do need protection in a very rough world. Sure,  IronMan to the scene! I’m good with that and Robert Downey Jr. is a major hottie. A man who is a god can be recognized as truly wanting and respecting an intelligent woman who takes care of her own business. He takes care of his own business so he isn’t bothering her like a little kid and her in the role of his mother. No thanks. He also takes care of his health and teeth so he pleases her physically and of course, she does the same. Most of all, he likes himself and has matured to the point of being able to listen and care about how a woman feels.

So I can honestly say I’ve decided I am looking for a man who knows he really IS a god just as I know I am a goddess. It’s an awareness of the divinity within us; one with us and is the goal of the Spiritual movement. You won’t find it in religion and I’m guessing they find it heretical. Spiritual people are not saying we are God. We’re saying that our identity is an ascending child of God which is a god or goddess. We’re working on ourselves to get better every day. Every single human being has this in them; in our blood which is our QI, or consciousness. I’m not the goddess I want to be or know I can be yet but I’m almost there and it has nothing to do with age. That will be the subject of another blog.

 

Intimacy; How Do We Move From Lust to Love?

Do you know the difference between lust and love? I’ll go with the hard one first; Love. Love is when you want to take time to really know someone, to care about how they feel, what they need and what makes them tick. You want to be their friend. The problem here is friendship usually turns guys off because they want to get kinky and nasty with their fantasy brains too much. Sometimes women do too. That can get mean which I don’t feel is part of friendship.

Friendship is the basis of all lasting, lusty, good relationships. It takes time and maturity to grow. Lust is everything else. Anything that’s not love is lust. Lust is the emotion behind most human interactions and has the face of greed, trolling on Facebook, offloading on strangers and the like. If you have no foundation of care and face-to-face friendship with someone you are indulging in instant gratification lust and there is nothing loving about it.

This issue has been challenging for me. I’m a very passionate, physical woman and have no problem lusting after men who are very attractive to me. I don’t act on it; it’s just fun. My personality and values are all about love. There isn’t really any other material thing I lust after; unless I’m really hungry. then I lust after food.

That’s a good segue because food hunger is almost exactly like sex hunger in the brain. And notice how many people overeat when they just need some love, affection, and sex. We’re looking for a serotonin spike and some other juicy brain chemicals that make us happy. I know I am. Food doesn’t come close to making me happy the way intimacy and love does. I don’t even like bothering to stop and fix food because I’m busy with my projects, writing, chores, things I love to do! Why do I have to stop and eat? I’ve always been like that. I’m not terribly fond of slowing down.

Now we see a problem here; denial of human need when you know it’s not likely to be easily fulfilled! I’ve been married three times to great men and had several great boyfriends. I’m still not satisfied. They weren’t perfect or didn’t satisfy me the way I really want to be. They didn’t make my brain and body explode with orgasmic happiness, although my last mate Michael came close. He loved me…really, really loved me and I loved him. Love is the sexiest thing going. Then he died suddenly. That’s not helping the situation. Love is definitely tragic.

It makes me wonder about eating disorders. If you take that denial of the need for love, warmth, and affection far enough it would make your brain or specifically, the hypothalamus gland stops craving food. So the emotion of lust would be good at this point versus the emotions around deprivation.

I’m not into deprivation at all but I am sorely afraid of loving a man, pulling him to me, and pushing him away because I need to be alone with my ideas, my mind, my life, my work, and my writing. I don’t want to hurt him. There has to be some intimacy and some time shared with your loved one or they will go away. I hate that.

broken_heart1I think I’ve stayed in lust mode in my brain because I’ve lost too many people I’ve loved. It’s like a car idling. My life isn’t idling but my feelings about bonding in a relationship are definitely idling. Maybe I’m stuck in lust gear because it’s emotionally safer. There is no risk of having your heart ripped out and stomped on the floor by death and life itself if you don’t go into love gear and really start driving.

Intimacy; Men are Dramatic in Action and Women are Dramatic in their Speech

you've got to be kidding me

How many bazillion times have you heard a guy say “No drama!”? They act like they give women no drama. Men are over the top!!! Men get emotional physically and sometimes verbally. Their actions are too dramatic. That’s the testosterone and they put WOMEN through the wringer not being able to calm down their testosterone or my favorite, being so confused about how to relate what they want to us that they send dual-minded, conflicting signals. A lot of women think they’re lying but half of the time I think they just don’t know what to say…literally.

Women are more dramatic in expressing themselves verbally. Women are actually brilliant at expressing themselves verbally and men are FOREVER telling us to be quiet and stop being so dramatic. I fucking hate it nor will I obey. I find men and women to be equally expressive emotionally but in these two different modes.

Next time a man says to you, “Cut the drama” when you’re speaking and expressing your feelings, bring down the curtain on his ass regarding how his actions are overdramatic expressing HIS feelings. He can “cut the drama” too. Sheesh!

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