I’ve been married three times to very attractive, good men lest you think I’m posting sour grapes. I have one son and 2 miscarriages in my column. There was no infidelity from anyone although, not great sex as I’d dreamed. I loved my mates but I was never terribly “in love” or invested in revolving my life around a man which seems to be what they want and need with their bottomless pit egos. I could see that by the time I was ten years old. My personality being caring and wishing for harmony and not bitchy and liking to fight, I was easily dominated once I had a baby. I’m not like that now but I believe most women with small children are easily controlled by the father. That’s another problem. The woman has no time or energy to take care of herself.
This is an evolutionary issue pertinent to this blog because it would change our DNA if we didn’t have the influence of our fathers in utero and in the home. Many women would say that’s a good thing. I know my father was not a very good influence and I hear women say that all the time about their father, but it may be generational. It’s kind of like The Church with its Gregorian Calendar that’s not even accurate. Woman after woman is coming into my office either celebrating her divorce or just happy to be single. We’re so much healthier and happier!! It’s an indisputable statistic in a society of fiction, fantasy, lies, and preferred fake lives that “are nice” and politically correct. Why do people waste their lives cow towing to what unimaginative indolent humans think is good? It’s the blind leading the blind.
I wonder if men are happier single? The word on the street is no, they get lonely. But do NOT quote me on that. I have no facts. I saw a guy say that women are “a hard char” on a blog and found it hilarious. They might be giving up too. And many women are turning to each other for love as well. If they’re just looking for good sex I hear that can be found in lesbian land, no relationship, no bonding. Women are that way now too. Men go fantasy digital or sexting I think since they don’t like feelings. In person scares them if the woman is real flesh, good and intelligent. They go low for sex usually. It’s easier.
What I hear from men is they want sex, food, and someone to talk to, not necessarily in that order. They just want a body around. But again, that may be generational. Sounds like you could just hire someone for that, and pay them well, which involves no love or bonding, no intelligence, and be done with it. “Wife for hire”.
We, single women, hire handymen or women for work around the house we can’t or don’t want to do.The men just throw themselves at us for sex usually, and we have to push them away so no problem there. I am very picky but many women will take whoever, use, and throw him. Gag me.
The origins of marriage are in the virgin sacrifice sex cults in the temple. That’s where the white dress (virginity), the red carpet (blood) and the candle originated as well as religion itself. I’m citing JSTOR articles and The Urantia Book.
Why the preoccupation with a woman being a virgin but not a man? I find it very odd, except that it seems men vampire off of women’s energy to remain alive, like a good piece of fruit. They consume every part of us. If we’re fortunate, in return, we get our children, financial support so we can raise our children, and a home for the family. All of that is changing. Women are valuing an education and a career more than marriage because the price of dependency on a man has become too high, to the point of even costing some women their lives. But the religions still push marriage, obviously to control women because it doesn’t control men. They still do whatever they want because of patriarchy.
The desire to have children may be waning but will never go away. The question is, will men ever show any interest in his own children if there is no marriage? Maybe fathers will start to legally sue more for their rights as fathers. I know many men very much value their children. That may change the game.
Women do not need to vampire off of a man’s energy to survive. We survive from our own Qi and give far too much of it over to men to be used when they could do more for themselves. This is the crux of what has to pivot in the decades following. There has to be gender balance of power on Earth or we will hit the skids on every level of our evolution.
I think I’ve stayed in lust mode in my brain because I’ve lost too many people I’ve loved. It’s like a car idling. My life isn’t idling but my feelings about bonding in a relationship are definitely idling. Maybe I’m stuck in lust gear because it’s emotionally safer. There is no risk of having your heart ripped out and stomped on the floor by death and life itself if you don’t go into love gear and really start driving.