Let Your Heart Break

Why? Why should we let our hearts break?

Because the release of that hard emotion, the bitterness, the layers of cynicism and resentment of everyone who has ever wronged us, really badly on this dang planet where families are put on a pedestal and should not be, where marriage and love are put on a pedestal and should not, need to fall away so real love of who we are as infinite spirits can shine through. No one on this planet knows you as well as you know yourself so be your own best friend first.

I am no longer religious but I am spiritual 24/7 having walked, run, jogged, sauntered, you name it through life’s fires and have let my heart and body be broken to smithereens. It needs to happen so we are no longer ego-based, looking for affirmation, looking for our parents’ or partners approval, looking to please even some “God” who religions teach have these rules and hoops to jump from a book we have to agree with. That’s all incorrect.

The human body, the brain, the mind needs a challenge to grow. What most people call faith or belief is just intuition combined with a rational explanation. Christianity, in particular, has plenty of rational explanations for its tenets despite naysayers but then it falls off the wagon mistaking faith for intuition. Faith sounds brainless for people of rational reasoning ability, for good reason! Their faith makes them denounce Science!  What? That’s nuts. But Science asks people to deny what they feel and know, what their intuition tells them. What? That’s nuts.

What both scientists and people who sense, feel, dream, and know by intuition or faith have in common is pride, an ego and a sense of self or dignity. They want to be right, to be heard, not made fun of and taken seriously. Well, the people who think they’re more right than wrong don’t seem to know that hardly any human being on this planet is right about anything. It’s mostly a crap shoot. Humans need to be loved, heard, and validated. It’s like a baby crying for attention.

When your heart finally breaks and you grow up, what you really want to do is give all living things as much attention as you can. You no longer need to receive it as much because you love and take care of yourself. The desire to give to all of life, humans, children, animals and the earth overflows within you because you finally feel that you’ve been given the gift of life yourself for a short time on earth, it’s IN you, and you’re going to share what you’ve got going on. So let your heart break open so it can heal. That’s the whole point of being human, and it doesn’t last long so revel in it.

April showers

 

 

 

Bodymind, “Molecules of Emotion”

This will be a perfect segue into the next subject matter on Intuition UP; morphic resonance; a phenomenon discovered by the work of Rupert Sheldrake. Dr. Pert talks about it as well at the end of this book.

Information is not dependent on time or space, as is matter and energy, but exists regardless of these limits! If information exists outside of the confines of time and space, matter, and energy, then it must belong to a very different realm from the concrete, tangible realm we think of as reality. And since information in the form of the biochemicals of emotion is running every system of the body, then our emotions must also come from some realm beyond the physical.”

Information theory seems to be converging with Eastern philosophy to suggest that the mind, the consciousness, consisting of information, exists FIRST, prior to the physical realm, which is secondary, merely an out-picturing of consciousness. Although this is about as radical as my scientist’s mind will let me get, I’m beginning to understand how such a view could coexist comfortably with the kind of science I’ve been doing.”

A priori knowledge. That’s the wisdom of the ancients. We could not come into the body through our mother without it. We are first and foremost, Mind. It precedes the physical and continues on when the physical ends. Information theory is simply morphic resonance which creates holograms. The science behind morphic resonance is illumined in the scientific work of Rupert Sheldrake. This definition is from HIS website. I recommend you go to the link.

Sheldrake.org

Morphic resonance is a process whereby self-organizing systems inherit a memory from previous similar systems. In its most general formulation, morphic resonance means that the so-called laws of nature are more like habits.”-Rupert Sheldrake

When Dr. Pert says out-picturing of consciousness, this harks to the phenomenon of holograms. They are;

a three-dimensional image formed by the interference of light beams from a laser or other coherent light source…a photograph of an interference pattern that, when suitably illuminated, produces a three-dimensional image.
Some people suggest that our world, us, and earth are holographic. Life is more like a movie projection of the matrix of all of our intentions than anything else. All that most people see is in 3D, yet scientists have proven we live in at least 21 dimensions. Just because you can’t see them doesn’t mean they don’t exist.
Her realization at the end is;
And now that I know my body has wisdom, this calls for a new kind of responsibility on my part. I can no longer act like a dumb machine and wait to be fixed by the mechanic-otherwise known as the doctor. Now I have the potential to consciously intervene in the system myself, to take an active role in my own healing. I’m both more powerful and more responsible for creating the health I experience than the dumb machine I used to think I was
That is the basis for all holistic medicine. We seek to empower the patient with scientific facts, not gouge you for a huge profit based on materialism. We make a living with our work, not a killing and ask you to do your part for yourself. I talk about my journey in my book “Healer”. Enjoy!
66756103_High Resolution Front Cover_7388240

There’s No One Left. I’m Alone.

It has finally happened after twenty years.

I live alone in my house, no men, no noise, no demands for food or rides, this or that, “Mom can you help me!” “C’mon, let’s go to the store”.

My son’s dad died two years ago…the last time I saw him was Christmas Day. Five days later, he was gone. I barely eeked out a smile as I said goodbye. He had been pretty emotionally abusive to me, frustrated his whole life, not knowing he was high-functioning autistic savant until three months beforehand. My efforts at solace could not change his brain, but he was a music legend on the pile of my torn apart heart. In addition, my son did not see him respect me; the fruits of patriarchy.

Three months later my fiance died. I had fifteen minutes notice. We loved each other and did everything for each other. It was not to be. He had not taken care of his body and it caught up with him.

Now four days ago, my nineteen-year-old son went out the door with his backpack and no notice to start his hero’s adventure quest which is his birthright. Good for him but he could have warned me! It reminded me of the sudden death of my fiance.

On his way out of course, he was mad at me and said I was so selfish. I suppose because I take care of myself. I wonder if he thought of his words effect on me, skipping them like stones across the water? Doubtful at his age.

But the men walk out quickly and don’t return I’ve learned, to the other side of this world…or town. It doesn’t matter. They’re not with me.

It is so peaceful in this house without a raucous male. Part of me has waited twenty years to take my body back from my partners and my son, and before that, a line of men, but not a long line.

Now I get an adventure quest; a fresh start, the second half of my life, a thriving business, a home, free to do whatever I want and a body with no risk of pregnancy. I haven’t given it all away.

It’s like this secret I have as a fifty-four-year-old who no one would suspect and assumes in our youth-worshipping culture, female-sacrificing altars around every corner, that I’m all washed up.

“Hasn’t that woman been laid flat yet? Well, why not?”

“She’s selfish!” they cry.

Truth is, I am my own best friend and for the first time in my life, I’m taking care of my body for me and no one else. More and more women are doing it. I’m not alone. We still have work to do and adventure quests to commence. Ridiculous isn’t it.

I feign an attitude and a bird ready to flip until my dying day…because I said so.

Healing Feeling, “Molecules of Emotions”

Chapter 12, page 250;

She’s in Southern California now hanging out with the progressive, spiritual folks.

Here in California there seems to be room for a consideration of the spiritual dimension of health, which can encompass such elements as prayer, energy flow, distant healing, and psychic phenomena, to name but a few.”

The time period was post-NIH when she felt unsupported and maligned, so her friend Nancy taught her a type of protective mantra that focuses the mind and the Qi. I do this with my own patient’s as well who are going through very difficult circumstances with work or divorce. When your habitual thought and emotions go negative, it goes right into your cells. Which cells it goes into depends on which thoughts and feelings you’re running. None of it is good for you or your body. I get rid of the rocks in my patient’s shoulders and they return with them again if they don’t stop the mental/emotional habit. Holistic medicine is about real change; not pills. We have scads of scientific evidence backing it up. It’s important to set your boundaries and protect yourself between treatments. We call that mindfulness or self-care.

She felt good about doing it on an intuitive level and called it, “extracorporeal peptide reaching, a form of emotional resonance that happens when receptors are vibrating together in seemingly separate systems. This was before the term subtle energy had been introduced to describe a still mysterious fifth force beyond the four conventional forces of physics; electromagnetic energy, gravity and weak and strong nuclear forces.”

She then gets into a conversation about how the information has changed our concepts.

We have to make a distinction between the metaphor of matter and energy and that of information”, her friend Gottesman said. “The older metaphor deals with matter, force, energy, and is expressed in Einstein’s famous formula connecting those elements E=mc2. While these terms are useful for building locomotives and bridges, even atomic bombs, they are not so useful for understanding the human body. Physical processes aren’t things, they are dynamic and take place in an open fluid system, and therefore fit better with the metaphor of information than that of matter and force.”

I absolutely see this as well in my office. My patients don’t hesitate one bit when I suggest that what they’ve been through and continue to hold to as far as a mental and emotional habit is causing the problem in the tissue that I’m holding in my hand. Once they realize it, they can let it go. How do I know what the energy is? Part of it is listening, part of my work is intuition. When dealing with the body, intuition is vital.

He goes on; “Today, the concept of information is replacing energy and matter as the common denominator for understanding all biological life and even environmental processes.” Dr. Pert says, “Yes, and the neuropeptides and receptors are the biochemicals we call information molecules, they are using a coded language to communicate via a mind-body network. They are in the process of information exchange, having a two-way conversation-very different from what happens when there is a one-way push from behind, the way force works.”

Well, our modern healthcare system hasn’t caught up with all of this science one bit, which came out in the late nineties. And here it is 2017. Why should we believe anything they recommend. They’re not updated.

Crossing Over, Coming Together, Part II

I’m almost done giving you the scoop on “Molecules of Emotion” by Dr. Candace Pert, Ph.D. I’m going to finish summing up Chapter 11 of this great book where she talks about healing herself after all she’s been through in the NIH lab, with the men, and being unfairly excluded from the Lasker Award because she’s a woman.  She says,

I realized that I had been angry for years, harboring deep resentments that went all the way back to Sol and the Lasker, perhaps even further back… (more details)In the Lasker days, when I began comparing what happened to me to the losses inflicted on Rosalind Franklin. I had only intuited that suppressing my emotions was dangerous and might lead to cancer, but now I had amassed enough hard scientific data to convince me that I needed to heal my emotions if I wanted to pull through this difficult time-alive and healthy” –pg. 236

Rosalind Elsie Franklin (25 July 1920 – 16 April 1958) was an English chemist and X-ray crystallographer who made contributions to the understanding of the molecular structures of DNA (deoxyribonucleic acid), RNA (ribonucleic acid), viruses, coal, and graphite so her comparison was apt given her work and success. Born in 1920 in London, England, Rosalind Franklin earned a Ph.D. in physical chemistry from Cambridge University. She learned crystallography and X-ray diffraction, techniques that she applied to DNA fibers. One of her photographs provided key insights into DNA structure. Other scientists used it as evidence to support their DNA model and took credit for the discovery. Franklin died of ovarian cancer in 1958, at age 37.

This is what women do to themselves because there is so much negativity reflected back to us regarding having power, intelligence, and self-esteem from other women, men, and religion.  Dr. Pert says,

There was no doubt I had a reputation for being a spitfire, someone who was so hellbent on her own path that other people often felt the best thing they could do was simply stay out of my way. For the first time, I seriously considered; Was I the problem? If I’d behaved differently, been a good girl, and played the game according to the rules, would Peptide T have made it to the market, saving the lives of people who were now dead because it wasn’t available sooner?

I wrote “No” all over the margins. We’re not called to be saviors of the world or co-dependent. The short of it is, she found some spiritual healing for herself, was about to understand the true nature of forgiveness and forgave Sol, her old boss. She began to accept herself and found a quiet mental state where she didn’t feel the need “to perform” or achieve so much anymore.  I can totally relate to that as many women can.  She says,

I also started to become aware of synchronicity, to see connections between events and people happening simultaneously and then to act on this awareness instead of out of the more familiar linear cause-and-effect model”-pg. 242

Here is where intuition really kicks in and she says,

It appealed to me intuitively. The mind-body network is so taxed by unprocessed sensory input in the form of suppressed trauma or undigested emotions that it has become bogged down and cannot flow freely, sometimes even working against itself, at cross-purposes…When stress prevents the molecules of emotion from flowing freely where needed, the largely autonomic processes that are regulated by peptide flow, such as breathing, blood flow, immunity, digestion, and elimination, collapse down to a few simple feedback loops and upset the normal healing response.”

As a professional bodyworker and reiki practitioner, I see this every day and align it every day with my patients.  They can feel it and I stay busy!

“My colleagues were doing research on how trauma and blockage of emotional and physical information can be stored indefinitely at the cellular level.“-pg.243

So there you have it. And does our health care system understand and act on this in their treatment before they charge you $10,000/year for health insurance? No. Do they cover treatments by practitioners that really empower and help people get well?  No way! They are mired in materialism and greed most of the time and their treatments don’t work unless the placebo effect kicks in. It’s your belief in their pill that makes you feel better, not the pill itself. That’s an expensive magic show and sometimes they make it worse. It’s a crap shoot they play with our body and most people let them.

 

Snow and Cherry Blossoms at the Office of Alternative Medicine; NIH

On page 224, Dr. Pert is now in Washington, DC in the Office of Alternative Medicine (OAM) at the National Institute of  Health (NIH) talking to Wayne Jonas, MD who was at the helm of OAM in the 90’s. She told him that it has long been her wish to see a program started inside the NIH that would do the basic research to put new paradigm science on a secure footing.

“All kinds of practitioners, from the nurse healers who practice therapeutic touch to the holistic chiropractors (and Naprapaths) who do manipulations, tell us that they feel subtle energies moving through the bodies of their patients. My own hunch is that these energy emanations get created as ligands bind to receptors in the body, doing their intricate humming dance with each other. Now, these energies have not been convincingly measured by objective devices, although a few physicists have worked at devising more sensitive means of measuring quantal events. Why couldn’t the NIH fund some research on the subject? —either on measuring the body’s energy field or on studying how energy healers can influence this flow, perhaps by using their own energy to trigger receptors in a manner analogous to the way electromagnetic energy fires neurons.”

As I read this section, which Dr. Pert wrote back in 1997, twenty years ago, it’s a little startling and depressing that this project hasn’t been achieved yet.  I’ve been a Reiki practitioner in my office and my patients and I feel the Ki or Qi, day in and day out as I work on them, and yet materialistic science has yet to ramp up their methods to measure it?  Yes, it’s 2017 and millions of people all over the world, from Qi Gong practitioners to Reiki in hospitals, know that it’s real and it works to move Qi (Chi) as sure as you can feel the heat of the sun when it shines.

Sure, you can make the qi chaotic again with your habits, thoughts, and negative emotions when you walk out the door, but all of it is alignable if you let it in. We’re teaching you how balanced and aligned can feel so you can decide whether or not you want it. We can’t make you accept it.

Wayne Jonas agrees with me on the necessity for basic research and, in a great example of synchronicity, relates how just the day before he had presented his idea for an intramural research program to a gathering of NIH institute directors. This is wonderful news, and if he can make it happen, it will be a terrific breakthrough…”

To be continued…

 

 

Turning Point

stars

Dr. Pert was speaking of Norman Cousins:

What the body needed was the life-affirming, joyous experience of laughter.  State of mind, thought, and feelings, all of which were completely ignored by the medical model, did, in fact, play a major role in recovery.  He even postulated that the laughter had triggered a release of endorphins, which, by elevating his mood, had somehow brought about a total remission of his disease.“-pg. 167 of “Molecules of Emotion”

NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS TO US IN THE BODY, NO MATTER WHO HAS TRIED TO OR HAS VICTIMIZED US, IT IS COMPLETELY WITHIN OUR OWN POWER TO CHANGE, TURNAROUND, AND DO WHAT WE WILL WITH OUR OWN MINDS AND BODIES. We all intuitively know this and try to reason it away.

There is no blame because we have individually been given this full power.  There are no accidents; everything happens for a reason.  And NO ONE ESCAPES the REPERCUSSIONS of the HARM they do to others or themselves. The forces of karma are real. It’s not up to us to get revenge.

Ego says, “I’m sick and useless.  Everyone must drop what they’re doing and give me their energy for myself to use and throw into my black hole of toxic energy because I have NONE within myself.  Everyone else took it from me. I am a poor wretch.”  That’s a huge lie. It’s like a dementor and those in affinity will be drawn to you like a moth to a flame. Those sitting in the light of fullness and self-care will keep you far away if they are wise.

We each have a duty on this planet to transcend, release, forgive, and take action on behalf of ourselves to be well no matter what and FOCUS on what we want to feel for our own bodies and mind.  Stop blaming and take responsibility for your power to think, feel, and create. Stop giving your time and mind to religion, family, politics, and shopping that are negative if you want to be whole.

If you verbally, mentally, and emotionally think of how evil and wrong others are all day and then hate yourself too, you are full of murder, hate, vile disease, and toxic energy that no one who sits in love should be around. You are creating it with your mental focus. Pivot away from that. The Universe has your back.  Sit in the truth of love and wholeness, not in lies.

The universe agreed to allow you to come into the body and CREATE WITH YOUR BODY AND TIME, the experiential learning of your choice.  Now get busy and stop blaming others for the condition of your body and mind, wasting your time, and do something productive that you want to do.

There is no end to forgiveness from the universe or support for you to pivot and change because they don’t have an opinion of you. No one really does and if they do, it has no power because you are the boss of your body and mind, not them. The only opinion that matters to you is your own. The Universe comes from and sits in pure love.  You can use and roll with that or you can resist it.  It’s all your choice.  But wellness and wholeness is the truth, 24/7, available to your mind and heart to use, focus on, and create.  Practice makes perfect.

Do you believe it or not?  It’s the difference between being constructive or destructive with your time.  Are you helping or harming the planet? Do you hate God/Source or do you Love? God hasn’t done anything to you; humans have because they are imperfect, and so are you.  So, let it go and do good to yourself and others no matter what!!!

What Does Cognitive Mean?

The modern meaning of cognitive has to do with mental processing or thinking. The thesaurus puts emotions under cognitive process as well but that’s not working for me based on seventeen years as a professional bodyworker and reiki master.

Emotions don’t come from the mind or the brain nor manifest there. Emotions come from the emotional body and the astral body and manifest in the digestive system and the heart. So emotions are not cognitive; they are cardioactive and digestive which would account for the fact that humans literally feel like their physical heart is broken when they separate from someone they love, they can’t eat, have no appetite, and what they do eat doesn’t stay in.

The emotional body is hooked to the physical body at the abdominal chakra 2 through the etheric body which is chakra 1, low back down to the bottom of the feet. The mental body is hooked to the physical body through the stomach or solar plexus. There is an energy body attached to all of the chakras as well as a certain type of mind.

The first problem in communication regarding all of this is the assumption that the physical brain is the same thing as the mind. Based on my experience, that is incorrect. The brain is a physical organ, spinning at a different energetic rate of manifestation than the mind. The mind moves between dimensions and is disembodied part of the time.

Our mind is active at night while we dream but our brain has no cognitive activity. They’ve measured it with their electrodes. The physical brain is resting. There is no thinking going on, but there is mental activity from the mind going on, which they don’t know how to measure with their instruments, so to them, it doesn’t exist.

The thesaurus states that the antonym of cognitive is body/physical. There you have the reason our health care system is so materialistic and messed up. It separates the mind from the body. If you’re going to do that you may as well be dead. Many people stuck in materialistic thinking are slowly trying to kill themselves with addictive behaviors that supply instant gratification because they feel that they are only a body, nothing else.

The mind is one with the body. The body is the mind. The body exists because of your mind. In short, your mind, all MIND is eternal or life would be one useless pile of nihilistic crap which makes absolutely no sense at all. A person has to be seriously disconnected to believe that mind dies. The brain dies, not the mind, and some would say, the soul doesn’t die either.

 

There is much to learn on this topic. To be continued.

Dissolving

Dissolve people from my space that do not take care of themselves. I’m not your healer. I’m healing myself from victims and off-loaders. You heal yourself, I don’t heal you. That’s not my head trip, that’s yours.

Dissolve people from my space that think I should be on a saint pedestal just because I have integrity and do good in the world. I’m just a human being that refuses to tolerate certain energy just like everyone else. I’m SO happy to disappoint them when they compete with me when there is nothing to compete with. Everyone is different. Don’t compete with me. Read my book, then compete with the death and suffering that I never hold onto and know how to release. Dare you! No pity. That’s ego too. Compassion is all that’s called for; for me and yourself.

Dissolve people from my space that expect me to lead them into the light and refuse to do it for themselves. I’m not God nor do I want to be. Walk into your own light after I show you how!

Dissolve people from my space that say they care and then try to put me under their boot when they don’t know what they’re talking about.

Dissolve relationship with family members that don’t know how to let go of negative emotion and want me to be as dependent as they are. No. I don’t need to be.

Dissolve ties to people who walk late into a meeting they set up with me and immediately say, even before we begin, that they want nothing to do with me ever again after this meeting. REALLY!? Grow up. There is not going to be a meeting because you want to dominate, not discourse. I don’t work with people who want to dominate. I work with people who respect me enough to be my equal.

You want your power back?…I just handed it back to you because you erroneously gave it OVER to me when I never fucking asked for it!

Dissolve those who are always up to something, say they support you, then they vampire energy from you because they don’t take care of themselves.dissolving

Done. Dissolved. Happy to be just human. Happy to never, ever, ever want anyone to put me on a fucking pedestal just so they can try to knock me off to prove something to themselves.

You’re jealous of my strength and achievement? Then be jealous of the death, loss, vampiric sucking, hate, and jealous family to whom I courageously flip the bird to in order to get to this point. I know I deserve to be happy and abundant and not be surrounded by people that want to either worship me or destroy me for their selfish ego purposes.

Go away.

I’m just a human being with friends doing the work I love.

A Segment From “Healer”

woman on pier

Shortly before I finished writing this book, I had a dream and intuition about my sister’s health, so when my mom called and told me what was going on, I was not surprised. After talking to her on the phone, I had a vision that applied to my sister’s situation and anyone going through recovery from addiction.

Our subconscious mind that was imprinted on us from ages zero to six, predominantly by our mother in utero, but also our father if he was present, is our home on the shore (or woods), figuratively speaking. Year by year we build a pier, plank by plank, that we can walk out onto into the lake that is our conscious mind, aware of diversity amidst the unity that is the greater world, people, natural life, the planet, and the expanding universe.

If as the years’ progress, we let our planks rot with body abuse, guilt, grief, fear, blame, violence, war, negativity, and enmeshment, we are still supposed to have a safe, grounded shore to go to–the subconscious mind where we hail from which is our home and birth family.

The secure subconscious is what gives us the courage to leave the shore in our boat and go out and expand our conscious mind.  In that way we learn that people are just different, even if we don’t understand them.  There are still universal traits among all humans that unify our one human race among the various cultures.