Essay; A Woman’s Ego


 

Woman on a mountain

I originally blogged this on August 26, 2013; 6 years ago.

The book I wrote, “Healer” has a section on gender.  Like most people, I believe that men and women have a tremendous amount in common biologically.  And I really do like most men.  However, socially, on Facebook, and in the town I live in, the more I talk, as a literate person, as an intelligent woman with self-esteem that isn’t a doormat, as a woman who is a small business owner, the more I get called names like “egotistical” and “pathetic”.

So I decided to think about the difference between a woman’s ego and a man’s ego. There are books and articles about a man’s ego all over the place. The “fragile male ego” is well known.  But the woman’s ego?  Imagine, the “fragile female ego” being bandied about.  It’s more like, “New discovery!  Women have an ego! Make a flag for them!”

The definition of the ego is a sense of “yourself” or “self-centered”. Everyone starts out at a young age with a natural inborn sense of who they are as a person unless your parents or religion beat it out of you. That’s possible and maybe prevalent, but not healthy at all. People do tend to feel more secure if they agree with one another.  It’s curious.

A woman…with a sense of “herself”, pride, dignity, accomplished….well, she doesn’t sound very sexy.  Or does she?  Why do I assume she has to sound sexy? If you described a man that way it’s sexy.

There’s our first red flag. Women are given the message early on that their attractiveness as a potential mate, for the purposes of reproduction, should define their sense of self-worth. Thus the obsession with superficial looks as opposed to a big brain, articulateness, education, in essence, the character Amy Farafowler on “Big Bang Theory” (who I love). It’s just starting to catch on. And we are ever so grateful to Dr. Barbie and Corporate Manager Barbie to serve as a role model for young girls.

Yes, women have an ego.  Yes, women have a sense of themselves as an individual. Our needs with regard to education, intelligence, level of respect and pay in the workplace, respect in the home, respect from our sons, access to team sports, et.al are EQUAL to men.

I suppose I’ll spend the rest of my life writing and living an example of a woman with an ego who loves.  You can’t love from emptiness.  You can’t love if your body is falling apart because you’ve given your last ounce of life force to everyone else. Women can be an example of how to take care of ourselves first and then whoever else we prefer to care for.

 

Everyday Spirituality Vs. Materialism


Materialistic values demean intuition and praise rationality, are seen and enforced by the media, educational institutions (schools), churches, behaviorists, (psychology and psychiatry), modern M.D. and healthcare. Take your pills and make sure you have a bulletproof backpack are their mantras. “Be realistic! Make sense!” Whose sense? Add governments, banks, and similar ilk in there. As you can see, The irrational Matrix is far-reaching. This is all true insanity and it’s out of hand. They even set fire to the Amazon rain forest, I guess because they no longer believe humans need air to breathe nor want us to have it? There is something very creepy going on. I think materialism has brainwashed and frightened many people to the point that they’ll accept death in any way it’s handed to them from the elite. They feel powerless to focus their own minds on their vision. It’s cultish and dystopian but I see it happening.

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Materialism Creates Disunity

Materialism is considered reality, what’s real, and what we should all be following and obeying if we’re good citizens, neighbors, and sane people. Lying and faking, putting on a plastic face and a plastered smile, women dolled up ready for sex and men the takers is the poster with a shiny new car behind them. All of this is considered normal and good. If you deviate, or are different, have brown skin, use big words, love yourself or have faith, you’re not stable?

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Spirituality is about UNITY and PEACE between cultures. ONE human race.

Enter spirituality, exit religion. Church membership is declining and the Spiritual movement is on the rise. Holism is coming forward (my field), art and artists are starting to be acknowledged. The foundation of the Spiritual movement is ART and personal freedom of expression, interdependence and a unique individual perception that is a personal truth but not a societal dogma. To each his own; together. Many artists understand QI which unpins the Chinese civilization, 1.3 billion strong, the largest in the world. Their art from every level, as well as their medicine rivals the west.

The western religions were compliant and the right-hand helper of materialism as they are in a subconscious headlock as well. They are sexually deviant, addicted to all manner of substance, perverse, and love money and power under the guise of salvation and safety from hell damnation. This is the subconscious mind from their parents. The leaders of the churches are also down the rabbit hole. They need to hide too. Government and religion have long been bedfellows for more sex and money than is imaginable. They are an enslaved people looking to enslave others so the truth doesn’t come out.

Their mutual cooperation defines world history and the ascent of the mythological genetic line in the institution of the family, none of which is based on science at all. Genetic determinism is not scientifically valid; it’s dead according to the experts. Morphic resonance is a better theory as well as the imprint of the family on subconscious programming. It all comes from our environment and it shows up in cell biology! Quantum physics is shedding light on all of it.

At odds with religion back in the day was Science. Science calls on the higher, intellectual faculty of the conscious mind informed by free-will and choice. It reads, thinks, and is a critical thinker. One has to be calm to do that. That is at direct odds with the emotional indulgence and drama of a repressed childhood. Scientists have work to do. We are now getting closer to modern spirituality approaching modern science. The Earth is not flat, it’s round. We revolve around the sun, the sun doesn’t revolve around us; little facts like that that are still challenged by religionists today. Much blood has been spilled over scientific fact and by scientists themselves for daring to challenge church dogma that required a blood sacrifice.

It feels like getting uppity and empowered took us too long and while humanity was maturing, the elite was ripping off and ripping into the planet to end all of it for god knows what purpose. The climate has hit a tipping point while we wake up. Now what?

Spirituality is judged handily by unimaginative and indolent behaviorists who themselves are likely addicts but busy none the less with calling intuition, Reiki, ESP, and psychic mediums schizotypy. Kudos to the dude that came up with that word. I call them materialists who might feel very comfy in a church pew ruminating nostalgically over their time on a swingset. A step forward would be an art class, a jazz gig, hang-out with some cool cats and lose the stiff upper lip of intellectualizing love and creativity because you can’t or won’t take the leap and do it yourself. Those who won’t do it only analyze from the outside.

Materialism = subconscious programming from the family, 95% of personal action

Spirituality = conscious control programming (mindfulness and high intelligence) of the subconscious mind and minimizing the family to 40% of personal action, 60% to your own mind.

We seek a more creative, spiritual, peaceful world where everyone’s needs are met, including animals and plants, cultures are celebrated and acknowledged and it is understood that biologically, there is no such thing as race. We are ONE race; human, made of thousands of cultures and our entire lives and everything we do is founded in Love.

Affinity blogging; Find humor in the crazy situation and set yourself free — joypassiondesire


“My focus is to forget the pain of life. Forget the pain, mock the pain, reduce it. And laugh.” – Jim Carrey This is such a wonderful quote because it takes the edge off the pain. Instead of wallowing in your suffering and feeling sorry for yourself, find humor in this crazy situation and allow […]

via Find humor in the crazy situation and set yourself free — joypassiondesire

I can really relate to this post. In my Deep t.Issue Therapy and Reiki office I try to keep the mood light, smile and laugh. However, my patients are coming in with serious pain, health, and sometimes emotional issues. Once I get into their deep tissue, either talking, stories, or in the case of Reiki, tears start to flow. I am detached as a practitioner but it’s a part of my job I’m learning to accept even though I prefer to have fun.

You see, as much as I agree with Jim Carrey and do it myself, my patients have been through the wringer and I have to walk a tightrope. Every day I have to use my intuition with a patient and modify my approach.

Heartset; Mindset Comes After…


 

gardenIs setting your mind like setting a table or a stylist setting a woman’s hair?

Is setting your mind like writing out a flight plan or a travel plan?

Or is it more like a course syllabus where the content is listed along with the supplies you’ll need?

I’m happy to hear anyone’s idea. I’m seriously asking the question.

My idea of a mindset has to do with daily ritual or habit. I empty my mind daily so it can be set by the Universe which I channel. It’s part of being a spiritual person and a lightworker. I do take note of what I dreamt the night before when I awake and the vibe I’m picking up that day but that is not etched in stone and morphs with my response. The Spirit world or the ethers set my mind at my request.

Every single day, my heart is filled with a great love for every breath I take, gratitude for my home and the very good skills that create my income, for friends that call and talk to me, know me, see me, and support me if I call them. My heart sets my mind.

Every single day the Universe lets me know exactly how my body is doing past how I feel because there is a lineup of energy there as well. My motivation to move my blood and muscle, to work out, drink water, and eat whole foods comes straight from Source which oversteps my own appetites that are subconscious and sometimes not the best. Our family sometimes program the attitude of our minds about our body and it’s not good. My body mindset comes from Spirit. My body awareness sets my mind.

Speaking of that, I daily have to forgive comments that are criticizing, insulting, controlling, self-indulgent and self-pitying from family members. If not, it will clutter up my very good, healthy, loving, self-care mindset that I’ve created to move forward. I also have a mindset of boundaries so that I can get my work done in light, not darkness. Family boundaries set my mind.

I focus on changing my body every day and know what I want to see so I look in the mirror and visualize that happening, like working on a piece of art. I see what I like and what I don’t like. I absolutely view my body as art. I also remember what mistakes I made in the past, over many years that put my body in less than the desirable condition it’s in and I realize what I can do differently and own it. In my case, it was giving my body and emotional energy to men and not myself in order to get something from them like a child, time, attention, affection and love which is not natural for men to give. Most women are taught to manipulate the situation or we get nothing we need. It took me many years to accept that that is the situation in our world. I visualize gender equity. Visualization sets my mind.

The rest of my mindset is to write and work on patients, to visualize money being deposited in the bank and bills being paid and honestly, it always happens. I don’t work for humans I work for the Universe and at the Universe’s request and my agreement, I’m being of service to the planet while I’m here. Therefore, my mind is only set to care about the opinion of the Universe not of society at all. My work sets my mind.

Every day, my mind is set to forgive my own mistakes, the mistakes of other humans, to never, ever, ever, give over my sacred space of love to others under any condition, to claim my power for good in the world and make the best use of my time I can while I’m here. Forgiveness sets my mind.

My mind is set on my own agenda and I ignore other ideas of an agenda for me understanding that they don’t know my mind and heart at all. I’m in charge of my life and my body, my money, and my home because they are tools for service; a service I love to share and offer to my community if they want to receive what I have to give. I set my mind and therefore I’m in charge of my mindset.

Essay; Men and Sex. Not the Same as Women! Polyamory vs. Celibacy


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The male animal has been domesticated and it’s not all pretty. I think of that right-wing show I can’t stand, “Last Man Standing” with Tim Allen as the star. I am at a unique vantage point right now on this issue as a single, 56-year-old, financially independent woman.

The societal Disney pictures are that I’m supposed to have kids in college or graduated and grandchildren on the way in a loveless and sexless marriage going to church every Sunday in order to be respected and to be “an honest woman”. That is not the case here and I’m happy about it. I live my life in truth and do whatever I want.

The societal Disney picture proscribed onto a 56-year-old man is pretty much the same but it’s far more likely that he is lonely from what the stats report. I’m never lonely. Women find real love through our children and grandchildren. I hear there is nothing better. Our mates have never been a terribly adequate source of love, let’s face it. Over time, we get tired of each other’s issues and the stats bear me out. I do believe love is possible though in middle age.

Women happily and independently move on and grow, usually living alone. The men are still dependent, stuck in this situation with nothing, having evolved with a brain that seeks more than one mate for reproduction. They are on the prowl again. There is an option for men; polyamory. This is a good article on it and explains reasons and motivations that have been studied. However, I’m conjecturing it’s for younger men.

Why People Choose Polyamory

I suppose some women like polyamory but I don’t think it comes naturally to us. Personally, if I can’t find the right partner that suits me emotionally and spiritually I remain celibate but I don’t think most women do. I’ve done that for years at a time but never more than two. That sits very comfortably with me because I love deeply and never deny my feelings to suit men that are detached emotionally from sex.  So really, polyamory and celibacy are related in that, if you can’t find the right partner you do what you have to do; whatever you need. But we have to admit that love is a magnet for men and for women. When someone finally loves and understands you, you’ll go to the end of the world to be with them.

If women have emotional issues, we know how to deal with them, grow, and decide what we want; a new mate or remain single. Then we do whatever we want. If you take care of yourself, there are a million men who will chase you. You just have to pick one. But for friends or family who choose polyamory, this is a good article on the possible motivations so you can understand it better rather than judge it.

This particular quote really rang true to me.

“Polyamory can effectively skirt the need to face an addiction and the painful feelings it covers. However, polyamory can also be utilized as a healthy means of coping with psychological difficulties, pre-existing trauma, differences in sexual desire, and the garden variety erotic boredom so common in long-term monogamous marriages.”

I see so many clients with painful feelings that have not come to the surface and then it resides in their bodies. That directly affects their ability to bond and love a mate and have great sex. This is just one of the reasons for polyamory. And of course, the basis of that is the parents and time in utero, and the early childhood that formed the subconscious mind; especially the mother. I have compassion for men that were born to very wounded, unstable mothers. They don’t have much feminine principle strength within them to pull from. Girls of wounded mothers do; themselves. It’s a blessing to be born female, no matter what the Chinese think. The inner mother is our greatest guide and support on this planet.

For men, I can only hope that they find a female friend that loves and nurtures them just as they are so they can learn to love their body, take care of themselves and be empowered men. Women have no excuse. We are the strong ones on the planet hands down. It is our responsibility to lead, take care of ourselves and to teach healing by being a good example.

Re-Program; Beauty Bias


Seek to be

“You can’t judge a book by its cover,” my Dad said as he was backing out of the driveway of Grandma’s house (his mother). I remember sitting in the backseat of our old Buick in the ’70s as a little girl and this is one of the few things my father said off the cuff that sank into my little brain like a brick floating to the bottom of the lake.  Aren’t those odd moments when your mind picks up what someone teaches you and for some nebulous reason, you never forget it! While it’s happening, you can feel how heavy and solid their words are and you have no idea why.

For God’s sake, as an adult, I realize that so much of my father’s values didn’t square with his behavior, but sometimes it did. Is that incongruity, that double-dipping into our own psyche just part of being human? He lusted after Barbara Eden right in front of us as children but we always thought it was funny because Mom looked very much like her, so that was ok.  He always paid the bills and went to work, ran for public office and attended church three times a week, but the hypocrisy was generally there in other ways.

This post isn’t about my father, but he and my mother both instilled in me, actually by a good example, that life was not about looks or climbing a social ladder and neither of them did it either. Sure, there were family secrets, but on this score, they rated high. They really taught me not to objectify myself, even though I was very pretty and talented from a young age.  Mom did some anyway, but Dad countered it, maybe as a kind of competition with her and his freedom training won the day with me. My mom did not get her way.

I recently just heard about beauty bias. That may sound lame but I don’t pay much attention to or take seriously, how people look. I take care of myself, have lost weight, and naturally look 45 even though I’m 56. I’m not trying to. I just live healthily. Now I am seriously treated differently by men and women. The men are coming after me more, even the ones in their twenties and the women are competing with me or maybe jealous and treating me worse.  They’re going to have a hard time hating me though because I’ve been to hell and back with men I love dying. Their pity and sympathy may counter their jealousy for a bit longer. I’m sure their conscience will twist and knot around them if they start to go into that dark tunnel. I’m so aware of how the percentages change based on social expectation. “Why is she doing so well when she’s been through what no normal person goes through?” must be the question ringing in their heads.  I think it’s hilarious. Because they don’t have an answer, I’m treated a bit like a leper, a miscreant, a freak.

This post isn’t about them either. Beauty and intelligence bias which is seriously real and has been well-documented is repugnant to me and seriously foisted on those of us that have a plethora of both like a millstone around our necks. It’s just more superficial garbage from a culture that knows no bounds to objectification. My value system and my heart seriously care about most human beings and sees the world through spiritual eyes…because I want to; because I can. I haven’t absorbed the values of our larger society or our world. As my alcoholic sister say’s to me, “You’re a freak! Maybe she’s right which means I’m also a selfish bitch by her estimation. Never mind her. I know I’m neither of those things and I do love myself and the life I’ve chosen. The woman was born hating herself and her life and has learned very little during the time she’s been given. There is no way my parents could have treated her worse than she’s treated herself and others.

This post isn’t about her either. It’s just amazing the masks we all have to wear to explain these outside layers. How does anyone really know who we are, including ourselves? Writers know that the books we write ARE judged by their covers and we’re told to spend plenty of time and money picking it out. It’s the magnet for people to buy the book. But how many people actually read the book? Maybe they just look at the cover.

ed8be285-497b-4bda-9ec5-901ff8710812.jpgMy book “Healer” is about how beauty bias objectification from men toward me has ruined every job I’ve ever been in and slowed down my progress to be taken seriously for my skill, ideas, and intelligence. I don’t think I’ll ever be healed from that shit until I’m dead but I’m sure not going to stop talking or writing even though people’s brains can barely listen to a word I, or others like me, say because my eyes are so sparkly. Gee, just try.

 

 

Body Truth; False Equivalencies of Gender


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My intuition came on strong today regarding a remedy for what is perceived now in the media as immense gender disparity, women as the victims, and a desire for justice.

Matriarchy and Patriarchy, operating our human societies for the last 10,000 years have set up false equivalencies of power. False equivalence is a logical fallacy in which two completely opposing arguments appear to be logically equivalent when in fact they are not. This fallacy is categorized as a fallacy of inconsistency.

The actual behaviors on the part of men and women, in terms of physical, sexual behavior is entirely natural. What is not natural now is our civilization. Staring at our screens and not talking or touching one another is indicative of that! Our healthcare system is indicative of that also. Nothing about our body awareness, perception, and flow are in accord with the natural cycles and rhythms of nature.  It’s affected our sexual behavior as women and men, of course, as the first line of physical behavior since that is mainly what we are; sexual animals. Our civilization has taught us, via State and Church to not be sexual animals anymore, or follow nature, and that it should all be controlled and repressed. Sexual behavior and all of nature is actually a beautiful thing; not to be avoided but to be feasted on!

Wow is the repression of beauty and enjoyment a profit boon for the porn industry; bottom line.  And why does pornography need to be only seen as violent?  Some of it is violent, much of it is not.

We see events now, all over the world really, trying to bring a measure of SHARED power not based on gender. We see it in Saudi Arabia, Europe, Africa, and the U.S. but we keep banging the drum of gender as a procrastination really, mostly on the part of women, to, at last, release matriarchal dominance (the Democrats) that subjugated and insulted men in the past while we abused our power over them.

We need to finally acknowledge that men can take care of themselves as grown-ups and need to rectify their adolescent behaviors (the Pubs), that we can each take care of ourselves, and neither women or men need to throw themselves on the sacrificial pyre of STATE or CHURCH forcing its values onto the family.

Those two institutions use gender war to take both of our power. Let’s support one another, be kind and loving to one another and acknowledge our unique power as individuals. Our strength is in each other, not in institutions, tech, political parties, and a money system that supports militarism and gender disparity at the expense of each other.