Heartset; Inspiration Is Just Competition


 

looking in the mirror

We are our own best friend or our own worst enemy.

Sometimes being inspired by someone just means you want to compete with them. Competition is a bit of an illusion because there is plenty to go around and you can’t compare two people’s lives to each other. Thus, there is no real competition. We’re all very different and have paid the piper different amounts based on our choices. Ultimately, we’re competing with a vision of who we want to be and who we really are, so be careful projecting that onto others. Just look in the mirror and be honest with yourself if you really want power over your life.

 

 

 

Heartset; Subject-Object in Life


 

I’m on this planet to act, not be acted upon and that’s not selfish. It’s what we all need to do; act on behalf of ourselves in our own lives so we can unconditionally give to one another.

Remember diagraming those sentences in school? Subject, verb, object. “What is the subject of the sentence and how does it act (the verb) on the object?”

There is much hoopla made of women being sexually objectified but when these issues come up, I always try to think about it intuitionally as well as rationally because it’s so easy to stereotype based on gender.

It is widely observed that males do tend to be the subject of most movies, books, sporting events, commercials, anchors on the news, utility companies, Presidents, and CEOs. The male perception of things does, in fact, run the planet. That’s patriarchy.

But does that mean that men are never objectified? Think about the system of patriarchy a second. Patriarchy is about usage and consumption. It’s about money, power, death, and oppression, control and victory at any cost. There isn’t much good about it. I’d say there is nothing good about it. In a system such as that, militarism, monetary debt, toxic waste, pathological lying, corrupt government leaders and religion are rife. It doesn’t do much good on the planet. But both women and men shore up patriarchy by accepting their roles of subject-object and rarely reversing them. They could reverse them, or in a loving partnership, both of them are subjects and never objects. So, in that scenario, isn’t it reasonable to assume that:

“Patriarchy eats everything”; Subject/verb/object. Men are consumed as well by the monster. They, in turn, are taught and expected to consume woman.

No one escapes and no one wins really. That means men are objectified too by the system as being set up over and over again as the subject of every last, damn, thing. They are, after all, most of the millions dead from two World Wars. Just watch TV with pen and paper and make two columns Male/Female and make a vertical slash every time you see a woman, every time you see a man and watch the men’s column pile up. That’s not a good thing for men or for women. It’s unbalanced! I personally wouldn’t want all that focus. It’s too much pressure.

When women are portrayed on TV they are rarely if ever portrayed as subjects or the ones acting first in the sentence. If they are it’s as a conniving wench, a bitch, a sweet mother or a nurse. Patriarchy doesn’t allow for women to be portrayed as a strong subject; a female lead. Hillary Clinton did that and she was crucified. The message, “Women, don’t ever try to be the subject of the sentence in the United States of America.”

I’ve had too many men say to me, “You just want attention.” My response, “No, I’d just like to be the subject, not the object being acted upon by you most of the time.” But somehow, I doubt most women even know they’re the object being acted upon. They take it for granted that it is their role because they follow system dictates unconsciously. The media and the church do the brainwashing.

For the first time in my life, living in the house I own, I am the subject of my own life and I am able to give focus and make each of my patients that come here the subject in my office. I started out my physical life as a child being extremely objectified by my parents, then school, then college, then my parents literally threw me to a Chicago curb when I was eighteen like so much garbage, then men, on and on for half of my life. Women are not seen or known or even wanting to be known by anyone as people! But are men either? They have that subject role to carry around all the time like a rock in a backpack. Not even our other women friends who are too busy being objectified by their families that define them, want to spend time with me.

Well, in my house, “The patient receives therapy from me.” Subject/verb/object. I guess I’m a pronoun in my office. That’s just fine because I’m the subject of my life for the rest of the time because I have important work to do and I’m doing it.

 

Heartset; Breath controls Feelings


via Alone/lonely

I was just inspired by Cristian Mihai’s most recent blog today about being alone. I shared the link above. Please read it if you have not. I actually just blogged on “I’m Alone Now” just a week or so ago too because my nineteen-year-old son just left the house.

I told Cristian that I related exactly to about eighty-percent of how he feels and I’m guessing many writers on here are introverts and love to be alone. But for me, it’s very positive. I never feel lonely. In fact, I wish I had longer streams of time, undisturbed alone to read, think and write. I’m still very busy in my home and have a small holistic business here so people are in and out. That may be part of it, I’m not sure.

I paused when Cristian wrote, “You can’t change how you feel”. Long pause. “Hmmm.” “No, he’s right.” I thought. “Feelings are organic. They just come up.” We all know that and it’s part of what makes us writers. But I have a physical process I go through that I want to share that turns my tears, worry, anxiety, sadness, the concern that comes up organically into feeling better.

I observe my breath. In and out. It is MY breath in MY body. I have complete control over how my breathing feels and how I allow my breath to reach my organs. I envision my blood pulsing through me. It feels very warm and loving. I relax my feet and make sure they are planted on the ground. I relax my legs. As a writer, I find immense joy and gratitude in feeling my brain and eyes process like a computer, my thoughts and then how my hands-on type. Then I stop and observe my breathing again. I am alive. I knew once and can remember what it felt like when I was almost dead in 1996 the day before my birthday when I had an ectopic pregnancy. I have this day, this time to keep learning and processing my journey in my body that no one else can control. I have control over this process and this moment.

So, I guess my technique is grounding. Think of a two-pronged plug that you put into a grounded wall socket. The two prongs are your legs and the electrical outlet is the ground; the Earth. When you inhabit and are mindful of your physical process, the chaotic, mean, death-riddled, unloving world can swirl around you unhindered. You have no control over any of them or their events. But you do have total, unequivocal control over tuning into YOUR BODY, plugging it in and turning it on and observing how each part of your body feels, not just the thoughts and emotions you tend to be running that day based on events, either theirs or yours.

I love my body so much for having its own balanced process that literally guides me and grounds me each day. Of course, I honor my heart, which has its organic emotional flow, but it…is…fickle. The heart is fickle!! At least mine is. Of course, I honor my thought processes. The brain/mind is amazing in its ability to digest and process information but the eyes only see what is visible, right in front of it in the light and believe only what it sees. The eyes only see ILLUSION and then your mind tells you it’s real. It’s a pretty good magic trick. The heart only feels immediate feelings and tell you they are real.

The body doesn’t lie. Your breath doesn’t lie. Just as sure as the trees know exactly how deep to push their roots, reach up with their branches, leaf out, drop their leaves and blow in a storm, so your body also has billions of years of DNA in evolution and it knows exactly…what to do. The same is true for all of nature from season to season. Nature is the truth and life itself.

Our health care system, our society, our media, and our civilization would take that grounding, the Earth life force, Gaia in all of her eternal ways and consciousness and tell her who she is and when to do it, as though she were a little girl. They would control that vital physical knowledge for themselves, hijack it from you and tell the daughters and sons of the Earth that they know your body better. They don’t. It’s your body, your truth, your power and your reason for being on the planet. Let the wisdom and rhythm of your body guide your heart and mind and you will be in a safe harbor while you live no matter what your heart and mind “see”.

Our bodies are ancient and universal and intimately tied to everything on the planet. We are gods and goddesses in all different forms dancing our way through time and eternity just for the sheer experience of it. Our in-breath and out-breath prove it.

freedom-bound-qtr-1@2x

Freedom Bound by Sculptor Paige Bradley, http://paigebradley.com

Heartset; There’s No One Left. I’m Alone.


It has finally happened after twenty years. I live alone in my house, no men, no noise, no demands for food or rides, this or that, “Mom can you help me!” “C’ mon, let’s go to the store”.

My son’s dad died two years ago…the last time I saw him was Christmas Day. Five days later, he was gone. I barely eeked out a smile as I said goodbye. He had been pretty emotionally abusive to me, frustrated his whole life, not knowing he was high-functioning autistic savant until three months beforehand. My efforts at solace could not change his brain, but he was a music legend on the pile of my torn apart heart. In addition, my son did not see his father respect me; the fruits of patriarchy.

Three months later my fiance died. I had fifteen minutes notice. We loved each other and did everything for each other. It was not to be. He had not taken care of his body and it caught up with him.

Now four days ago, my nineteen-year-old son went out the door with his backpack and no notice to start his hero’s adventure quest which is his birthright. Good for him but he could have warned me! It reminded me of the sudden death of my fiance.

On his way out, of course, he was mad at me and said I was so selfish. I suppose because I take care of myself and being a female, that is unacceptable and taboo. I wonder if he thought of the effect of his words on me, skipping them like stones across the water? Doubtful at his age.

But the men walk out quickly and don’t return I’ve learned, to the other side of this world…or town. It doesn’t matter. They’re not with me.

It is so peaceful in this house without a raucous male. Part of me has waited twenty years to take my body back from my partners and my son, and before that, a line of men, but not a long line.

Now I get an adventure quest; a fresh start, the second half of my life, a thriving business, a home, free to do whatever I want and a body with no risk of pregnancy. I haven’t given it all away.

It’s like this secret I have as a fifty-four-year-old who no one would suspect and assumes in our youth-worshipping culture, female-sacrificing altars around every corner, that I’m all washed up. “Hasn’t that woman been laid flat yet? Well, why not?” (My mother keeps literally asking that as though she’s waiting for me to fall) “She’s Selfish!” they cry. With a capital “S” not a small “s”. There is the low self and the Higher Self.

Truth is, I am my own best friend and for the first time in my life, I’m taking care of my body for me and no one else. More and more women are doing it. I’m not alone. We still have work to do and adventure quests to commence. Ridiculous isn’t it.

I feign an attitude and a bird ready to flip until my dying day…because I said so.

 

Re-Program; Process or Product? Materialism


What is more important to you; the learning process, enjoying the moment, the movement, the relationship, experiencing the event itself…OR seeing and feeling the manifested product from your choices and actions?

Anything manifested in physical is fleeting, temporary, like a cloud that will eventually evaporate like your body at the end of your life.  We all really need to think about this when we start coveting something.  Do you really have to have it or do you need something else that’s inside you?

The other side of the coin is the experiences we have, what we learn about others and ourselves.  Now, in this scenario, there are no mistakes.  Everything we go through has a learning curve or we are doing it for the adventure, to see what it feels like.  There is the possibility that we will feel things emotionally or physically that we have never experienced before.  The experience is not fleeting because it affects your spirit.  It doesn’t matter if the experiences feel good or bad because both are temporary.  This too shall pass!

If you believe in the soul and eternity, then you’ll want to go in this direction.  No one can take your memories and experiences away from you.  While it’s vital for everyone on the planet to have food, water, air, and a roof over their head, what we need most beyond that is human companionship, adventures, and learning.

It would be a mistake to size up your success based on “stuff”, tangible this and that for it will evaporate and mean little to nothing in the end.

 

Essay; No Thank You #2- I’d Rather Have This. ~ Response to Dina Leygerman, 2017 The Women’s Movement


I have a boundary to set with the commentators on #1 of this post.  I am an extremely open-minded person that listens to how people feel for a living.  I’ve been doing it for twenty years. You are welcome to comment, of course, on the ideas I put forward.  But I will cut you off if you simply slam and criticize in anger and negativity in the comments section.  I ask that you make constructive criticism, helpful comments regarding a perspective I may not have seen.  You have to be civil to me.  I don’t allow myself to be mistreated by anyone, for any reason.

I had 4000+ views on my response to Dina since I posted it 6 days ago and many agreed with me and a few did not.  I have observed that between WordPress and Facebook and the women I talk to directly, there is an emotional savior complex among women, “we’re in this together”, “don’t deviate” attitude.  It’s a very patriarchal attitude and very “churchy” and sacrificial.  That is not the kind of movement I will join because in the end it’s controlling and selfish.  Women need to take care of themselves and ask for what they want and need and then ask others to join them.  It’s empowerment and in my life, it’s based on Spirituality.  Everyone is different and no preaching is necessary.

#1  HEALTH OF OUR BODIES AND MINDS and learning how to ask for what we need with regard to it.

I would like women’s health care and women’s right to control our bodies to be a focus.  To a great degree, we can do much of this for ourselves.  I live in my body 24/7 and it belongs to me.  Especially in holistic medicine, my health is in my hands.  But for some women, it’s not as simple.  For now, we need both allopathic and holistic health care.

I’ve also seen many, many comments that not all women from all opinions and persuasions are being welcomed into the movement; in particular, women who do not support abortion and women who prefer peace, not a closed fist.  I personally know two women who voted for Trump just on that issue alone.  If feminists are discussing women’s bodies and feelings about reproduction, we need to just LISTEN to the feelings and ideas from all corners.  It does not have to be in our platform or in our legislative agenda per se, but we owe it to all women to listen to their point of view if it’s presented in a civil manner.

Since I’m on the issue of civil manner, a women’s movement will in no way be taken seriously by Congress or anyone intelligent who could potentially fund the movement unless we stop the drama, the anger, the religious fanaticism, and the intolerance for those that don’t agree with us.

#2-Passage of the Equal Rights Amendment to the Constitution of the U.S.

  • Section 1. Equality of rights under the law shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of sex.
  • Section 2. The Congress shall have the power to enforce, by appropriate legislation, the provisions of this article.
  • Section 3. This amendment shall take effect two years after the date of ratification.

That’s the whole thing and it still hasn’t been passed.  I just saw this online and I couldn’t believe it.

There is already an Equal Pay Act of 1963 signed by JFK.  Women need to read it, know the law and make sure it’s enforced in any job you take.  You can find it online.  Be brave!

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I’m stating this and anyone else who feels this way can wrap their mind and heart around it.  Essentially, these are mental mantras that you repeat to yourself over and over, or in a small group to set positive energy.  These are not demands or expectations. This is a list of what I want and maybe some other women will as well.

  • I want to be a happy woman and for everyone else to be happy as well
  • I want to be a thriving woman and for everyone else to thrive as well
  • I want to advocate for myself in confidence
  • I want to step up to who I really am and be honest
  • I want to hear happy-hearted women lead the movement the loudest
  • I want to know that everything is working out for each of us as individuals
  • I want to live interdependently, not co-dependently or addicted as a woman
  • I want to live safely in the world as a woman
  • I want to know that no matter how many times attempted victimization is foisted on me, I do not have to accept the feeling of being a victim or the label of being a victim. I want to know that I have the right to be here, to be in my body, and to choose my life as I see fit.
  • I want to know that Source energy, female and male, uphold me in my empowerment
  • I want affordable healthcare for my female body.
  • I want access to licensed, professional, holistic medicine for my female body and my children.
  • I want my children to live safely in the world, playful and eager
  • I want more people on Earth to feel better
  • I want more stability and security as a woman
  • I want to be safe and secure in my home as a woman
  • I want the household chores split equally in my home
  • I want sex to be discussed openly and our sexual needs met equally in my home
  • I demand to be treated as an equal in my home with a male mate
  • I want to be equal among humanity as a woman
  • I accept the different sexual expressions and orientations of other women
  • I do not support violence as a woman, from me, to me or my children
  • I do not support the societal over-objectification of women’s looks for profit
  • I want to thrive as a woman
  • I want to work in a robust economy as a woman
  • I want more of my own money and control of it as a woman
  • I want equal access to bank loans as a woman
  • I want to be listened to and respected as much as men as an intelligent woman
  • I demand credit for my work and my ideas in the workplace as a woman
  • I want to have more fun as a woman
  • I want to feel at ease in my community as a woman
  • I want to see people in affinity with me safely, around the world, as a woman
  • I want to appreciate everyone’s point of view even if we’re not in agreement, as a woman
  • I want to feel balance in diversity as a woman
  • In this movement, in my female circles, I want me or my women friends to speak first and lead before a male.  This is OUR TIME to come forward on behalf of all women in the world who want to be happy, healthy, and empowered to have a good life.  We do it in the way only women can.

 

 

Everyday Spirituality; How I Hook Up To Source Energy


fall leaves

Well, first off, as it is on Earth for most people, the losses, traumas, and deaths pile up to the point where you might not want to be here anymore. I m just being honest.  Sometimes we all feel like it’s ridiculous, like this last election cycle.  WTH?  Then I check in with myself and say, “Nope, I m still having fun, enjoy my body, sex, food, friends, my son, my work, the seasons, music, you name it.”

My question in the midst of it is, “How can I make sense of this suffering I witness most others going through and my own?”  The first thing I do is realize were all in this together. No one, anywhere, is immune from the soul lessons here. I don’t believe in fortunate or unfortunate, lucky or unlucky. Don’t ya think we make our own fortune by our choices?  It’s a big well we can dip into with our mind and heart. When I dip into that well, that’s how I connect to Source.

It’s universal to want to connect emotionally and physically to others. I feel that is an inclination from Source and I let my body feel it. Making art together, cooperating, joining together for a just cause. All of that connects us to Source because Source is in us.

I don’t recommend feeling sorry for yourself for too long or you won’t get the wisest use out of your limited time in the body. Everyone goes through the dark night of the soul. You could use that experience to grow. Feel the depth of it, go into those emotions and what other people think of your “negativity” be damned while you’re figuring it out.  I did it by myself and called on my friends. I didn’t use a counselor, although you could.  I journal and I wrote a book.

I’ve been hooking to Source energy every day for about 25 years now in all of those varied ways.  I make sure I live in a peaceful, non-violent environment. I eat well and exercise so I like my body and can feel its rhythms. In this way, I can watch my breath as I close my eyes and drop my mental focus. Now I pay attention to every body part starting at the head and going down. I have a body balancing technique I use that includes color and Reiki.

I affirm to Spirit/God that I m here to serve and love all life. I affirm that I promise to love myself as best I can in order to do that.  I give myself permission to detach from people that are not loving or loving to me or don’t like me, then do something called “bless and release” instead of cursing or hating them. If I focus/pray about one person, a flood of intuitions come in about that person because I am in receive mode from Source. I see people and events unfold like a movie and it’s been happening all of my life. I note all of that in my memory.

I wish well for everything in front of me no matter what state it’s in. I ask for a revelation on specific issues on which I have a question and always listen for the answer. The universe knows I listen and respect them💜. They impart information to those that believe and listen.

So, love and take care of yourself, join with others doing something creative that you love, accept that everyone goes through a dark night of the soul and you’re not alone, have as much freaking sex with whoever you want to stay healthy, and follow your intuition.  Don’t hesitate to walk away from people who don’t get you or don’t like you.  You’ll know because you’ll feel bad around them.

You can rampage it on this planet and be free. It’s not worth it to follow, obey, or sit it out because it’s going to be over before long anyway.