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Process or Product?

What is more important to you; the learning process, enjoying the moment, the movement, the relationship, experiencing the event itself…OR seeing and feeling the manifested product from your choices and actions?

Anything manifested in physical is fleeting, temporary, like a cloud that will eventually evaporate like your body at the end of your life.  We all really need to think about this when we start coveting something.  Do you really have to have it or do you need something else that’s inside you?

The other side of the coin are the experiences we have, what we learn about others and ourselves.  Now, in this scenario, there are no mistakes.  Everything we go through has a learning curve or we are doing it for the adventure, to see what it feels like.  There is the possibility that we will feel things emotionally or physically that we have never experienced before.  The experience is not fleeting because it affects your spirit.  It doesn’t matter if the experiences feel good or bad because both are temporary.  This too shall pass!

If you believe in the soul and eternity, then you’ll want to go in this direction.  No one can take your memories and experiences away from you.  While it’s vital for everyone on the planet to have food, water, air, and a roof over their head, what we need most beyond that is human companionship, adventures, and learning.

It would be a mistake to size up your success based on “stuff”, tangible this and that for it will evaporate and mean little to nothing in the end.

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No Thank You #2- I’d Rather Have This. ~ Response to Dina Leygerman, 2017 The Women’s Movement

 

I have a boundary to set with the commentors on #1 of this post.  I am an extremely open minded person that listens to how people feel for a living.  I’ve been doing it for 15 years.  You are welcome to comment, of course, on the ideas I put forward.  But I will cut you off if you simply slam and criticize in anger and negativity in the comments section.  I ask that you make constructive criticism, helpful comments regarding a perspective I may not have seen.  You have to be civil to me.  I don’t allow myself to be mistreated by anyone, for any reason.

I had 4000+ views on my response to Dina since I posted it 6 days ago and many agreed with me and a few did not.  I have observed that between WordPress and Facebook and the women I talk to directly, there is an emotional savior complex among women, “we’re in this together”, “don’t deviate” attitude.  It’s a very patriarchal attitude and very “churchy” and sacrificial.  That is not the kind of movement I will join because in the end it’s controlling and selfish.  Women need to take care of themselves and ask for what they want and need and then ask others to join them.  It’s empowerment and in my life, it’s based in Spirituality.  Everyone is different and no preaching is necessary.

#1  HEALTH OF OUR BODIES AND MINDS and learning how to ask for what we need with regard to it.

I would like women’s health care and women’s right to control our bodies to be a focus.  To a great degree, we can do much of this for ourselves.  I live in my body 24/7 and it belongs to me.  Especially in holistic medicine, my health is in my hands.  But for some women, it’s not as simple.  For now, we need both allopathic and holistic health care.

I’ve also seen many, many comments that not all women from all opinions and persuasions are being welcomed into the movement; in particular, women who do not support abortion and women who prefer peace, not a closed fist.  I personally know two women who voted for Trump just on that issue alone.  If feminists are discussing women’s bodies and feelings about reproduction, we need to just LISTEN to the feelings and ideas from all corners.  It does not have to be in our platform or in our legislative agenda per se, but we owe it to all women to listen to their point of view if it’s presented in a civil manner.

Since I’m on the issue of civil manner, a women’s movement will in no way be taken seriously by Congress or anyone intelligent who could potentially fund the movement unless we stop the drama, the anger, the religious fanaticism, and the intolerance for those that don’t agree with us.

#2-Passage of the Equal Rights Amendment to the Constitution of the U.S.

  • Section 1. Equality of rights under the law shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any state on account of sex.
  • Section 2. The Congress shall have the power to enforce, by appropriate legislation, the provisions of this article.
  • Section 3. This amendment shall take effect two years after the date of ratification.

That’s the whole thing and it still hasn’t been passed.  I just saw this online and I couldn’t believe it.

There is already an Equal Pay Act of 1963 signed by JFK.  Women need to read it, know the law and make sure it’s enforced in any job you take.  You can find it online.  Be brave!

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I’m stating this and anyone else who feels this way can wrap their mind and heart around it.  Essentially, these are mental mantras that you repeat to yourself over and over, or in a small group to set positive energy.  These are not demands or expectations.  This is a list of what I want and maybe some other women will as well.

  • I want to be a happy woman and for everyone else to be happy as well
  • I want to be a thriving woman and for everyone else to thrive as well
  • I want to advocate for myself in confidence
  • I want to step up to who I really am and be honest
  • I want to hear happy hearted women lead the movement the loudest
  • I want to know that everything is working out for each of us as individuals
  • I want to live interdependently, not co-dependently or addicted as a woman
  • I want to live safely in the world as a woman
  • I want to know that no matter how many times attempted victimization is foisted on me, I do not have to accept the feeling of being a victim or the label of being a victim. I want to know that I have the right to be here, to be in my body, and to choose my life as I see fit.
  • I want to know that Source energy, female and male, upholds me in my empowerment
  • I want affordable healthcare for my female body.
  • I want access to licensed, professional, holistic medicine for my female body and my children.
  • I want my children to live safely in the world, playful and eager
  • I want more people on Earth to feel better
  • I want more stability and security as a woman
  • I want to be safe and secure in my home as a woman
  • I want the household chores split equally in my home
  • I want sex to be discussed openly and our sexual needs met equally in my home
  • I demand to be treated as an equal in my home with a male mate
  • I want to be equal among humanity as a woman
  • I accept the different sexual expressions and orientations of other women
  • I do not support violence as a woman, from me, to me or my children
  • I do not support the societal over-objectification of women’s looks for profit
  • I want to thrive as a woman
  • I want to work in a robust economy as a woman
  • I want more of my own money and control of it as a woman
  • I want equal access to bank loans as a woman
  • I want to be listened to and respected as much as men as an intelligent woman
  • I demand credit for my work and my ideas in the workplace as a woman
  • I want to have more fun as a woman
  • I want to feel at ease in my community as a woman
  • I want to see people in affinity with me safely, around the world, as a woman
  • I want to appreciate everyone’s point of view even if we’re not in agreement, as a woman
  • I want to feel balance in diversity as a woman
  • In this movement, in my female circles, I want me or my women friends to speak first and lead before a male.  This is OUR TIME to come forward on behalf of all women in the world who want to be happy, healthy, and empowered to have a good life.  We do it in the way only women can.

 

 

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The Problem with Adoring Each Other

Part of the new compassionate, Spiritual/Holistic paradigm is loving myself, loving my body, and experiencing joy in taking care of myself.  Instead of valuing sacrificial suffering that hails the hoard onward, I’m happy and grounded, even if it’s like a dried up sweet pea hanging on its vine. I’m stalking all of that in my life as we speak to make a case for spring in the middle of winter.  The assembled energy I have is diametrically opposite that of needing the validation of an amassed group of imposters pretending to agree so they can drink together later. It’s not that I don’t like the group, or that I don’t occasionally have a very dry martini, I just don’t viscerally need the group.  They get exhumed energy from each other; even demand it threatening social castigation, as though there would be any real loss there.  I obtain energy from Source in me.  I just talked about that in my previous blog.  I live alone, have no mate and no boyfriend to muddle my mind.  I haven’t figured out how to affix myself to a rumbling male in my present condition.  In addition, my mephitic eighteen year old son will be moving out of the house soon to go on his way to sow his oats and beans.  My peaceful environment is proliferating.

As I think back on the men/mates I’ve adored and who have adored me, as vain as that sounds, it was called love at the time and then it turned into territorial civil war and possessive jealously.  I’m pretty sure that uncorked behavior is common and some couples like it that way but some don’t.  I don’t.

It’s just that, in this new paradigm of sitting in your body and owning yourself, that adoration doesn’t feel like its all it’s cracked up to be.  It feels as though I’ve forged an alliance with a fawning cat whose nursing by pushing it’s paws into my chest.  Maybe it’s just the mood I’m in.  When a man starts to adore me he wants to own me, my time, and my body, like a pet!  That’s been my experience with every man I’ve been with except this last guy I dated.  He left me in the dog house neglected, but at least he didn’t bug me.  I know there are all the ideals about giving your mate the space they need, but then the real emotions of amorous desire creep in.

“I want you”, “I adore you”, “I need you”, “I love you”, “I miss you” becomes a medieval prison!  I used to think I wanted to be adored by a man with high self-esteem and all the pheromones I need to be turned on, but now I’m not so sure.  I love my life, my work, my friends, and my home.  Maybe all of that adoration would be oppressive!  I’d have to respond after all or that would be rude.

What it reminds me of are the old paradigms of patriarchy and matriarchy.  Our current paradigm, patriarchy, is based on the man having the most power in every situation and he wants to adore the woman who is his goddess.  Well, I like the goddess myths well enough, but daily life isn’t so much a myth as a dirge.  So the woman is supposed to keep herself as this adorable object that the man possesses, like Melania Trump.  This is, “let him chase you and initiate action” belief.  In this paradigm, Meryl Streep, according to Trump, is over rated in every way and he’d like her to sit down and shut up.  It accounts for “Bubba” and fascist misogynist type men.  In my view, it’s repugnant-but there are all levels of men on the misogynist scale based on culture and economics.  They like to see a busty woman laying over the hood of a car and probably like to fix cars.  I hope I’m not being too biased.  They emotionally need women to stay beneath them, in a bikini, gratefully riding in the passenger seat.  There are plenty of women willing to do that because they all voted for Trump.

Then there is the very old paradigm of matriarchy where the woman held power over the man. I wonder how she did that?  Mind you, it’s no less imbalanced than patriarchy.  In the old days, the very old days, the woman held the most power in every situation and she wanted to adore the man.  So the man was supposed to keep himself as an adorable object that the woman possessed and bossed around.  It makes me shudder.  The belief here was, “Woman picks the man and she initiates action”.  That doesn’t sound very sexy to me.  It seems to me that some young women might be trying to swing back to that these days. Many women still operate this way.  I was raised to operate this way toward men and I’m really seeing it in myself.  I don’t like it, or the patriarchal way.  Now I feel stuck in the twisted middle.

So as I ponder the newly forged spiritual paradigm of gender balance of power.  I wonder how this is going to affect the evolved brew of sexual tension necessary  between women and men to make things burn?  I guess the birth rate will decrease as projected by the social scientists and more adults will remain consumers of single servings in the frozen aisle.

 

male-female

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How I Hook Up To Source Energy

Well, first off, as it is on Earth for most people, the losses, traumas, and deaths pile up to the point where you might not want to be here anymore. I m just being honest.  Sometimes we all feel like it’s ridiculous, like this last election cycle.  WTH?  Then I check in with myself and say, “Nope, I m still having fun, enjoy my body, sex, food, friends, my son, my work, the seasons, music, you name it.”

My question in the midst of it is, “How can I make sense of this suffering I witness most others going through and my own?”  The first thing I do is realize were all in this together. No one, anywhere, is immune from the soul lessons here. I don’t believe in fortunate or unfortunate, lucky or unlucky. Don’t ya think we make our own fortune by our choices?  Its a big well we can dip into with our mind and heart. When I dip into that well, that’s how I connect to Source.

It’s universal to want to connect emotionally and physically to others. I feel that is an inclination from Source and I let my body feel it. Making art together, cooperating, joining together for a just cause. All of that connects us to Source because Source is in us.

I don’t recommend feeling sorry for yourself for too long or you won’t get the wisest use out of your limited time in the body. Everyone goes through the dark night of the soul. You could use that experience to grow. Feel the depth of it, go into those emotions and what other people think of your “negativity” be damned while you’re figuring it out.  I did it by myself and called on my friends. I didn’t use a counselor, although you could.  I journal and I wrote a book.

I’ve been hooking to Source energy every day for about 25 years now in all of those varied ways.  I make sure I live in a peaceful, non-violent environment. I eat well and exercise so I like my body and can feel its rhythms. In this way I can watch my breath as I close my eyes and drop my mental focus. Now I pay attention to every body part starting at the head and going down. I have a body balancing technique I use that includes color and Reiki.

I affirm to Spirit/God that I m here to serve and love all life. I affirm that I promise to love myself as best I can in order to do that.  I give myself permission to detach from people that are not loving or loving to me or don’t like me, then do something called “bless and release” instead of cursing or hating them. If I focus/pray about one person, a flood of intuitions come in about that person because I am in receive mode from Source. I see people and events unfold like a movie and it’s been happening all of my life. I note all of that in my memory.

I wish well for everything in front of me no matter what state it’s in. I ask for revelation on specific issues on which I have a question and always listen for the answer. The universe knows I listen and respect them💜. They impart information to those that believe and listen.

So, love and take care of yourself, join with others doing something creative that you love, accept that everyone goes through dark night of the soul and you’re not alone, have as much freaking sex with whoever you want to stay healthy, and follow your intuition.  Don’t hesitate to walk away from people who don’t get you or don’t like you.  You’ll know because you’ll feel bad around them.

You can rampage it on this planet and be free. It’s not worth it to follow, obey, or sit it out because it’s going to be over before long anyway.

fall leaves

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Growth

It’s not very sexy is it…that word.  It sounds very serious to me.  It doesn’t matter how it sounds though because it’s an inevitable part of life.

Most of us like to have fun.  Life is fraught with enough negative media, break-ups, death, grovelling for money and head banging over college exams and getting along with professors.  It’s important to take breaks, go for walks, have some tea, dance, listen to music that makes you happy and want to move.  I do all of those things to be happy in the midst of challenges, which will frankly, never end until we’re done with this life.

But there is another kind of growth.  The kind where your heart is involved, reasonably so, but your mind assesses the situation and there is doubt.  We make a very big deal in our culture about agreement, affinity, and a meeting of the minds.  We’ve all been in enough relationships to know that you are never going to agree 100% on everything when you are mated or in a close friendship.  This is one of the biggest challenges in life and the one that precipitates the most growth for my soul.  It also causes the most angst.  I think that is sexy but that’s because I’m a soulful woman.

Destiny plays a hand here.  What lessons did you come to learn as a soul?  What do you need to push through?  Can you feel that certain people are good for you to be around and others are not?  That is the case.  “That’s NOT the kind of person I need to learn anything from!”  If you can say that right away about someone, there ya have it!  But with others, it’s not so simple.  You might not agree with them many times but you love them and you have no idea why.  I think it’s a gift.

If you’ve ever loved someone who is very different from you or at a very different place in their life, it feels mysterious.  I wonder why I’m drawn to that person.  I really don’t have a lot in common but just some.  Maybe we have things in common that we don’t even know about yet.  But what is superficial?; Political party, the past, and how much money we make as long as it’s enough to live or thrive as the case may be, style, culture.  So don’t discuss the superficial things then.

What is important is whether or not our hearts are open and we care for people. Do we have faith in something eternal or at least something bigger than ourselves? Do we take care of and love our bodies (health)? Do we abide by the law?  Do we want to improve our minds? I would say these are foundation issues in friendship and love.

I have lost all of the mates I’ve had so much in common with; either through divorce or death equally.  That’s not what keeps people together.  I believe it’s destiny and love that is the glue.  Then I just have to roll with it because everyone has a choice in these matters.fall leaves

 

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Moving from Ego to Heart/Mind

Expansion-Paige Bradley

Sculptor, Paige Bradley

Can you remember the time in your life when you pivoted from making life decisions based on ego to making life decisions from your Heart and Mind?  I can.

As a young person, from 18 to about 36 years old (when I had my son), I’d have to say I operated mostly from ego and I paid a personal price for it.  I was not mindful of my body, I pursued a college degree because I listened to what the media and the world said about the status increase that a degree would bring (it didn’t).  I reacted and rebelled against my family whose values I absolutely did not and do not agree with.  I spoke my mind without considering the consequences before I did. I got married to my son’s father because my sister thought it was a good idea.  Oh my.  I pursued a particular degree path because my ex-husband suggested it when that was what he wanted, not me.  I let these people project through me because, I didn’t care that much then.

It was all just an adventure to me;  no big deal.  I even half knew they were doing it. But because I was such a free spirit, I knew they wouldn’t win.  I knew that no one was ever really going to get “most of me”. They could just have some of me for a wild ride.  You sort of lull yourself into this idea that they’re doing “your work” “for you”. Ahhhhh. There’s the hook.  You get personally lazy at directing your life.  There is a very steep price to pay for that.

In short, because I listened to and cared more about and resented what others and my family said and what they thought of me, there was suffering.  Meaning, I caused my own suffering by being “out of alignment” with what I really wanted from deep inside myself.  I resented the fact that “my loving family” didn’t see me, didn’t care to see me, and were busier projecting their own unresolved ego issues onto me than taking responsibility for healing themselves and turning their lives around so they could be a genuine support.

This is how the scapegoat thing happens in families.  The strong one, the most intelligent one, the bravest one is put through the freaking wringer by the weak ones to serve as some kind of support or rescuer for them? Not!  It’s not going to happen to me.  It does happen to many people.  It’s the foundation of our political system and has been from the beginning.  And some are just as drawn into the rescuer role for their egos as the person using them is. “Use and be used” you could call it.

What I literally observed about my life based in ego was, my body wouldn’t hold the vibration I wanted it to (I had 2 miscarriages and almost died with one), I was constantly worried about money and didn’t have enough money, I had a lot of fear and worry, I did not have confidence in the direction I was heading or had no direction, and I was frustrated that I had gifts and a strong Mind but couldn’t focus it to make my life what I wanted it to be.  I resented the emotional price and battle with the users that I had to pay to go my own way.  You see that these things are all superficial.  That’s what the ego does to you.  It gets you caught up in others drama, lack, fear, and suffering.

Sit in Love and authenticity.  Sit in your own empowerment.  We are response-abled (responsible/able to respond) in our lives. Love your body no matter what.  Do the work that floats your cork.  Don’t think about what others may say or think.  Do what you Love.  Envision abundance doing what you love.  Plan it out.  Get concrete.  Ask for help from a healer or spiritual counselor.  Don’t think for a minute that religion is going to shield you from hell and speed you to heaven.  People create hell on Earth by sitting in ego, and religionists get rich from the promise of forgiveness and heaven.  Your karma for copping out on Love is real.  I completely turned my life around by going out on a limb and leaving my ego behind and surrendering to Love. My karma has turned to dharma because I worked at it.  No one can pull me back in.   The Universe has my back.