Crossing Over, Coming Together, Part II

I’m almost done giving you the scoop on “Molecules of Emotion” by Dr. Candace Pert, Ph.D. I’m going to finish summing up Chapter 11 of this great book where she talks about healing herself after all she’s been through in the NIH lab, with the men, and being unfairly excluded from the Lasker Award because she’s a woman.  She says,

I realized that I had been angry for years, harboring deep resentments that went all the way back to Sol and the Lasker, perhaps even further back… (more details)In the Lasker days, when I began comparing what happened to me to the losses inflicted on Rosalind Franklin. I had only intuited that suppressing my emotions was dangerous and might lead to cancer, but now I had amassed enough hard scientific data to convince me that I needed to heal my emotions if I wanted to pull through this difficult time-alive and healthy” –pg. 236

Rosalind Elsie Franklin (25 July 1920 – 16 April 1958) was an English chemist and X-ray crystallographer who made contributions to the understanding of the molecular structures of DNA (deoxyribonucleic acid), RNA (ribonucleic acid), viruses, coal, and graphite so her comparison was apt given her work and success. Born in 1920 in London, England, Rosalind Franklin earned a Ph.D. in physical chemistry from Cambridge University. She learned crystallography and X-ray diffraction, techniques that she applied to DNA fibers. One of her photographs provided key insights into DNA structure. Other scientists used it as evidence to support their DNA model and took credit for the discovery. Franklin died of ovarian cancer in 1958, at age 37.

Here’s what women do to themselves because there is so much negativity reflected back to us regarding having power, intelligence, and self-esteem from other women, men, and religion.  She says,

There was no doubt I had a reputation for being a spitfire, someone who was so hellbent on her own path that other people often felt the best thing they could do was simply stay out of my way. For the first time, I seriously considered; Was I the problem? If I’d behaved differently, been a good girl, and played the game according to the rules, would Peptide T have made it to the market, saving the lives of people who were now dead because it wasn’t available sooner?

I wrote “No” all over the margins. We’re not called to be saviors of the world or co-dependent. The short of it is, she found some spiritual healing for herself, was about to understand the true nature of forgiveness and forgave Sol, her old boss. She began to accept herself and found a quiet mental state where she didn’t feel the need “to perform” or achieve so much anymore.  I can totally relate to that as many women can.  She says,

I also started to become aware of synchronicity, to see connections between events and people happening simultaneously and then to act on this awareness instead of out of the more familiar linear cause-and-effect model”-pg. 242

Here is where intuition really kicks in and she says,

It appealed to me intuitively. The mind-body network is so taxed by unprocessed sensory input in the form of suppressed trauma or undigested emotions that it has become bogged down and cannot flow freely, sometimes even working against itself, at cross-purposes…When stress prevents the molecules of emotion from flowing freely where needed, the largely autonomic processes that are regulated by peptide flow, such as breathing, blood flow, immunity, digestion, and elimination, collapse down to a few simple feedback loops and upset the normal healing response.”

As a professional bodyworker and reiki practitioner, I see this every day and align it every day with my patients.  They can feel it and I stay busy!

“My colleagues were doing research on how trauma and blockage of emotional and physical information can be stored indefinitely at the cellular level.“-pg.243

So there you have it. And does our health care system understand and act on this in their treatment before they charge you $10,000/year for health insurance? No. Do they cover treatments by practitioners that really empower and help people get well?  No way! They are mired in materialism and greed most of the time and their treatments don’t work unless the placebo effect kicks in. It’s your belief in their pill that makes you feel better, not the pill itself. That’s an expensive magic show and sometimes they make it worse. It’s a crap shoot they play with our body and most people let them.

 

False Equivalencies of Gender

My intuition came on strong today regarding a remedy for what is perceived now in the media as immense gender disparity, women as the victims, and a desire for justice.

Matriarchy and Patriarchy, operating our human societies for the last 10,000 years have set up false equivalencies of power. The actual behaviors on the part of men and women, in terms of physical, sexual behavior is entirely NATURAL. What is not natural now is our civilization. Staring at our screens and not talking or touching one another is indicative of that! Our healthcare system is indicative of that also. Nothing about our body awareness, perception, and flow are in accord with the natural cycles and rhythms of nature.  It’s affected our sexual behavior as women and men, of course, as the first line of physical behavior since that is mainly what we are; sexual animals. Our civilization has taught us, via State and Church to not be sexual animals anymore, or follow nature, and that it should all be controlled and repressed. Sexual behavior and all of nature is actually a beautiful thing; not to be avoided but to be feasted on! Wow is the repression of beauty and enjoyment a profit boon for the porn industry; bottom line.  And why does pornography need to be only seen as violent?  Some of it is violent, much of it is not.

We see events now, all over the world really, trying to bring a measure of SHARED power not based on gender. We see it in Saudi Arabia, Europe, Africa, and the U.S. but we keep banging the drum of gender as a procrastination really, mostly on the part of women, to, at last, release matriarchal dominance (the Democrats) that subjugated and insulted men in the past while we abused our power over them.

We need to finally acknowledge that men can take care of themselves as grown-ups and need to rectify their adolescent behaviors (the Pubs), that we can each take care of ourselves, and neither women or men need to throw themselves on the sacrificial pyre of STATE or CHURCH forcing its values onto the family.

Those two institutions use gender war to take both of our power. Let’s support one another, be kind and loving to one another and acknowledge our unique power as individuals. Our strength is in each other, NOT in institutions, tech, political parties, and a money system that supports militarism and gender disparity at each others expense.

The Mind-Body Connection; Emotion-Carrying Peptides

Molecules of Emotion cover

I’m sorry I haven’t blogged on here in a few days but I’m totally engrossed in this book! Wow did Dr. Candace Pert get put through the grinder in the NIH (National Institute of Health) Science Palace where it was all about competition, politics, gossip, and the good-ole-boy system.  I’ve heard recently how bad the sciences have gotten for women, sort of like the current sexual harassment scandal that is causing men in power to drop like flies, but frankly, what I’m reading about her experience is far worse than anything overtly sexual. (Charlie Rose is the latest one today and I liked his show!) It’s all very disappointing, but not surprising, at least not to me given what I’ve been through in my jobs.  It’s all outlined in my book “Healer”.

The scientists she worked with at the top in the science field were unmitigated assholes.  They lied, were verbally abusive to her, said, “be a good girl” to her, stole her ideas, took the awards and credit for her work, and basically broke her heart. As I was reading the last chapter, I googled her to find out what she was doing now and she died already.  Not surprising from what I’m reading.  She was a brilliant, breakthrough scientist, wife, and mother. But of course, her personal life suffered due to all of that stress in addition to her passion for her work.  Such is the case for any very smart, accomplished woman.

I’m in the section where Candace’s father has died and she’s had it with being treated like dirt because she’s a brilliant woman with quite an intuition.  Again, gee, ya don’t say! Here are few tidbits:

“The body is the unconscious mind. Repressed traumas caused by overwhelming emotion can be stored in a body part, thereafter affecting our ability to feel that part or even move it.”

This was her conclusion after giving a detailed blow by blow of lab experiments that allowed her and her team to reach this conclusion.  It’s pretty technical (pages 138-140).

Using neuropeptides as the cue, our body-mind retrieves or represses emotions and behaviors. …biochemical change wrought at the receptor level is the molecular basis of memory.” (then she goes into specific science jargon)-p.143

On page 146 she starts pulling it out.

“There is no objective reality!” And she details how our brain and memory filters out what it deems unnecessary.  “Through visualization, for example, we can increase the blood flow into a body part and thereby increase the availability of oxygen and nutrients to carry away toxins and nourish the cells.

Repressed emotions are stored in the body-the unconscious mind-via the release of neuropeptide ligands, and those memories are held in their receptors.-p.147

Stay tuned, because she’s about to follow her intuition 100% as she pivots away from Science Dogma.  You mean…she becomes creative? Yes. And it leads to a huge discovery.

It’s amazing what can happen to the mind when you lose the ego and follow the heart which is the seat of the intuition.  Oh, and she found a good guy to fall in love with and work with.  Yes, there are good guys out there.

Men and Women Need Each Other

YES!  We do!! We are really going through the ringer right now in the U.S. with the bricks of abuse and sexual harassment falling out of patriarchy.  This is going to be a short blog because I have just one thing to say;

Even though I do believe that on the whole women tend to be the dominant species in terms of civility, ability, reason, intuition, communication, and leadership, I very much like and respect men as a species.  Many women don’t!  Like most people, I hold gender equity as an ideal and I shoot for that in my personal life.  I really don’t want to live with a male partner that I can trump in most ways, yet, that has been the case for me and it sucks.  I don’t want to trump!  So, I’m looking for an exceptional man who won’t fear my strength but won’t take advantage of my weaknesses or call me names.

Patriarchy has essentially been a chance for males to catch up with females and I think they’ve done a pretty fair job.  I am definitely one of the women that don’t want men to get any more “feminine” than they already are, nor do I think women need to get any more “masculine” than they already tend to be.  Let’s have a stopping point here before we stop lusting for each other.

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The Erroneous Line Drawn Between Science and Spirituality

Remember this Philosophy Tree I posted a few posts ago? I love this thing. So let’s go back to the axiom at the top upon which all institutions of higher learning, all over the world, base their system of learning and degree-granting powers; Philosophy.

 

Image result for image of the branches of philosophy tree

All subjects are philosophical. One of the great tenets of philosophy, established by the Greeks, is debate and discussion. It’s pretty anti-social to say, “I’m right, it’s been proven, no more discussion. Go sit down and be quiet.” As objective as a physical scientist attempts to be with their scientific method, coming under the heading “Philosophy of Science”, they are subjective humans and can never be fully free from bias. It’s proven by their emotional outburst of anger if someone wants to have a discussion with them after they make absolute statements and need everyone to agree with them because the philosophy of science is “the truth”. “Playing well with others” learned in kindergarten is a good character attribute to have. I’m not saying I’m an expert at it being a high IQ woman, but I always start out being civil and it devolves from there.

Gender bias is rampant in any STEM (Science, technology, engineering, and math) discussion where a woman needs to have a say. It’s amazingly irrational, sort of proving my point above. I think it’s a good idea to qualify your work and be tolerant of dissent or a different perspective, otherwise, no matter how right you are, you lack integrity because you don’t care how you emotionally affect others.

So, look at that empty white space under “Philosophy of Religion” which comes from Ontology and Metaphysics”?  Go over to the left and the Philosophy of Science branch is loaded.  That is interesting, isn’t it?  Hardcore Newtonian Materialists would say, “That’s because we have hard evidence.” Yes, in your pants, which we women are happy for! but not when we have to earn money in the public workplace and you STILL have hard evidence. I would say it’s because we live in a patriarchal society controlled by money and power in the hands of men in academic institutions who routinely denigrate the scientific method of females in psychology and religion which is spirituality.  They are sciences too!

Now, look at “Philosophy of Mind”.  It sort of waves the right hand over to “Philosophy of Psychology” saying, “Well, there’s this!” with a glass of wine in the left hand having a party with “Philosophy of Religion”.  That’s sort of where we find ourselves in the year 2017.

We don’t have any boxes under Philosophy of Mind and Philosophy of Religion because we don’t have any money to do the experiments. There has been plenty of documentation and proof verifying that the study of Mind, Religion (Theology), Psychology and Parapsychology are worthwhile endeavors, but you can’t see the material manifestation of feelings, thoughts, dreams, and intuitions as easily as you can see a ball rolling down a hill for a physics experiment.  Well, at the very least, our field is much more complicated.  What can possibly be more complicated than studying how Mind manifests as feelings and physical being?

What is really changing now is proof from the quantum physicists that thoughts, feelings, and intuitions DO manifest in the body, literally, and cause illness or wellness, depending on how you align them. Everyone intuitively knows this. We don’t feel we need a double-blind study particularly, just some common sense.

Humans Weren’t Designed to be Rational and We’re Better Thinkers for it.

Trust your instincts

“Despite the growing reliance on “big data” to game out every decision, it’s clear to anyone with a glimmer of self-awareness that humans are incapable of constantly rational thought. We simply don’t have the time or capacity to calculate the statistical probabilities and potential risks that come with every choice.

But even if we were able to live life according to such detailed calculations, doing so would put us at a massive disadvantage. This is because we live in a world of deep uncertainty, in which neat logic simply isn’t a good guide. It’s well-established that data-based decisions don’t inoculate against irrationality or prejudice, but even if it was possible to create a perfectly rational decision-making system based on all past experience, this wouldn’t be a foolproof guide to the future.”-Olivia Goldhill

Check out this chart.

Every Single Cognitive Bias

It reminds me of Sheldon on “The Big Bang Theory”.  It kind of paints a picture of autism and OCD behavior, which I’m not judging. The fact that Sheldon skews in favor of cold, hard science and numbs human emotion or social sensitivity is rare. I understand having lived with two different autistic partners.  To me, the brilliance is attractive in some way.  I’m not sure why yet.  Maybe I’m on the spectrum as ADHD? My son thinks so but no one else does.

In the 1970s, two psychologists proved, once and for all, that humans are not rational creatures. Daniel Kahneman and Amos Tversky discovered “cognitive biases,” showing that humans systematically make choices that defy clear logic.  I believe this is a visual interpretation of the original chart.  It is worth looking at and makes the point that we are by and largely subjective, emotional creatures.  It’s a beautiful thing…to me.

Here is the full article that goes with the “Cognitive Bias Chart”;

Humans weren’t designed to be rational and we’re better thinkers for it.

“Unconvinced? There’s an excellent real-world example of this: The financial crisis. Experts created sophisticated models and were confident that the events of the 2007 crisis were statistically impossible. Gerd Gigerenzer, Director of the Max Planck Institute for Human Development in Germany, who studies decision-making in real-world settings, says there is a major flaw in any system that attempts to be overly rational in our highly uncertain world.”

“If you fine-tune on the past with an optimization model, and the future is not like the past, then that can be a big failure, as illustrated in the last financial crisis,” he explains. “In a world where you can calculate the risks, the rational way is to rely on statistics and probability theory. But in a world of uncertainty, not everything is known—the future may be different from the past—then statistics by itself cannot provide you with the best answer anymore.”

“We need hot-headed, emotional decisions

Though calling someone hot-headed or overly emotional is generally a critique of their thinking process, emotions are in fact essential to decision-making. There’s even research to show that those who suffer brain damage in the part of the organ governing emotions often struggle to make decisions. They can weigh up the pros and cons, but can’t come down on one side.”

After reading the whole article, I am in favor of using both my intuition and my rational processes.  Humans have always done that and it’s not a neat 50/50 percent of the time one way or the other.  Everyone is different.  I support the use of the scientific method when it’s appropriate.  It’s not always appropriate!  Yet our patriarchal culture with the male scientists on top uses it to hit us all over the head with a two-by-four to make sure we know that they are in charge, to such an extent that very qualified women in STEM, (Science, technology, engineering, and math), flee the university setting because of extreme gender bias. They’ve done studies.

The males are not in charge with their controlling attitudes in science. It’s not going to last. And many times, they’ve been wrong. Many scientists will agree that it is quite desirable to also employ the intuition, especially if leads us away from militarism.  And there are millions of humane men that are very anti-militaristic.

I’m not going to get into the gender disparity on this issue at the moment, but suffice to say, I believe all of our work, females, and males will benefit from using and having respect for both. But intuition has been derided and disregarded in favor of the Philosophy of Science category and it needs to stop. The Science of Philosophy of the Mind and Psychology needs to be taken into account also.  That is also science.

 

There is Something Emotionally “Off” with Guys

There are too many on the roster for me to ignore this.  I read a lot too, so it’s not as though I’m ignorant. Well, seriously…I know men have feelings.  That’s very obvious and I’m good with that, unlike many women.  That’s just as obvious as the fact that women have feelings.  And I am sensitive to men’s feelings, as different than women’s and have a ton of experience with men expressing their feelings with me.  I’m safe to do that with.  That’s sort of the problem…maybe.

The Jekyll and Hyde thing, the fear of getting too close, or relying on a woman as your friend, or letting her help you with something she is strong in and you have no idea about; she does the same with you.  Why can’t men rely on women the same way? Why is that so emotionally vulnerable for you but it’s not for us?  Maybe you didn’t have a good sister?  That’s how you pattern it in your brain.

As a woman, who has talked to a lot of women, if we get a red flag about a dude, we break it off, let it go, and have a fairly practical attitude about the lack of emotional affinity so we don’t usually cling, push away, cling, push away, kick and punch.  That induces no sense of emotional security in a woman at all. And I’ve seen it way too much with men.  I don’t see this behavior in women maybe because there’s no way a guy would tolerate that from a woman.  I see and hear her making her mind up.  She has a subjective sense of “the feel” of the guy and their emotions and the sexual affinity so her radar is on baby!  If all that isn’t flowing, we’re not interested and don’t need to analyze it.  Our body told us and that counts the most.

Now the objective part.  Males tend to value or be, more objective to their everlasting detriment.  You’re missing half of the picture.  You thought you drank the whole glass, the other half is in there.  You thought you took a full breath, you didn’t exhale. I’ll stop. The objective picture, which women can fully, competently, always, always, see, is just dumb to us.  It’s never just that way.  You can’t gain any accurate information in life or in relationships by only being objective any more than you can know what sex feels like by just standing outside of it and watching it.

Subjective means you are the subject, you’re in it, you’re living it, your senses, feelers, intuition, BODY (such a big truth for women) are in the situation and we’re talking UPLOAD of information into the computer.  It computes, along with the easy, objective stuff.  We know what’s going on when we’re next to our man but we will never, ever, understand why guys are so irrational and comatose when you’re next to a woman, or her breasts, that you love or care for. Just why?

The rational way to analyze and proceed in a relationship is to dip your toe in the water, smell each other, listen to each other’s voices, socialize, get your instincts going, eat together…and this only takes maybe a couple weeks or the total of five dates to have enough data to make the decision.  Do I want to have sex with this guy and allow some emotional bonding or not?  Whether women admit it or not, our brains are programmed to emotionally bond otherwise, I don’t think we can orgasm.  It’s kind of obvious.

It is forever lost on me why men can’t be more rational about their feelings.  Women have evolved to be objective and subjective. We tend to be balanced for the sake of our children. There are plenty of brilliant women that can do the math, science, tech, blah, blah, blah, blah, like it’s such a big deal.  No…it’s not.  It’s pretty easy for us.  Dealing with you guys and not having to have our defenses up when you freak out over how you feel is what is not easy for us. Living with you is not easy for us.  I don’t think I can do it anymore.

Please try to be more subjective, more empathic, more understanding of other people and women who are different than you.  We are not men nor do we want to be.  We can balance being objective with being subjective and we ask the same of you.

The Priest Died

I talk about the experience I had working with a Catholic priest in my new book “Healer”. I just found out he died of lung cancer last year, just as my son’s father did seven months previous to that.  He was a smoker, drinker and lived a fast, loose jazz life as a cabaret singer before he was ordained.  It was a seamless career transition, no doubt.

This part isn’t in the book, but I worked with him as the liturgy director for Triduum in 2009, which is similar to putting on a complex Easter performance over three days, conducting many musicians and playing all the keyboards.  I had to focus and lead during this time.  It was a lot of work and my first time tackling it! I lived quite a distance from the parish so I requested a hotel room nearby before the busiest of the three days.  I was told they would cover the cost.

The priest had been bothering and flirting with me previous to this but I didn’t expect what came next.  He called me up and expected to have a liaison with me that weekend at the hotel. I wouldn’t do it so he refused to pay for my room! I told the church secretary he wouldn’t pay it and what had happened. She just snickered, as though I should know how the game was played.  She was playing it herself with him, after all, and this confirmed it.  I had other proof and it was in my report to the Diocese before I quit.

I guess I’m not a team player, especially as a woman in the workplace no matter where I go. I took care of myself, paid for the room, and decided I could not be bought my male superiors on a job whether they’re doctors or priests.  There is more to the story, but the short of it is I’ve never been put through the dark ringer as much as I was by this guy. Good riddance your holiness. Now I have to figure out how to forgive him. At least I know I’ll never run into him.

 

Intuitive Chocolate Chip Cookies

chocolate chip cookies

Don’t those look yummy! I have mine with a really good espresso or strong dark coffee. Here’s my Grandma’s recipe.

1 cup of “Oleo” (It’s margarine but she called it butter. I use real butter)

1/2 cup of sugar

1/2 cup of brown sugar

2 eggs

1 tsp. soda

1 tsp. salt

1 tsp. vanilla

2 cups flour

1 bag of chocolate chips.

Baking and cooking are chemistry, so women have been navigating science in the home for as long as the species has been around. Almost everything we’ve done in keeping the nest is science and multitasking. Nor did we need a 3D printer or AI (Artificial Intelligence) to pretend like we could copy life. We make life automatically in our bodies. We really do need to take credit for how we kick it in so many ways.

Speaking for myself, as a young, fertile, horny woman, the main reason I didn’t take credit, is that I knew that if I was a threat to a man, better at something or smarter than him, I’d never have sex again. If you’re too competent, too articulate, too assertive, and have too high of an IQ and are cute, you won’t have much sex because you’re too hard to please. Last I checked, guys hate that the most. I can’t tell you how many women and gay men warned me about that. Women want sex (and babies) more than anything in the world and that’s what the men are for. Let’s admit it.

Why wouldn’t we admit that? Slut-shaming? Meaning the assumption is that a woman who admits that her body is on automatic pilot for sex is also a slut. That’s absolutely not true. Not if she picks a partner she is compatible with and has at it instead of with a hundred men which was the situation in matriarchy.

During matriarchy, women, and children lived together and the men just came in for a conjugal visit and left. Thus, they are hardwired to be with as many, and as much of a variety of women as possible following their old brain. There is nothing new about the hook-up. That’s how the dominant women wanted it! That era is over and was bad for everybody; women, children, and especially men. The children never knew their fathers! That’s matriarchy’s theme. It’s still hanging around in some cultures today.

Thus, the ascendancy of patriarchy so the men could live with a woman and gain very valuable human communication skills and learn how to love through having his own child. That benefits the child as well and helps the human brain form in a different way. Children need to know their father. We’re still working on that and it’s coming along.

Back to the cookies, men have picked up all of women’s natural science skills too and gained on it! Many men are creative chefs, are in the kitchen and love to cook and bake. I’m happy about that as I really don’t enjoy being in the kitchen anymore. And for ambitious, impatient women, sometimes the male partner makes a better parent. He’s more entertaining and more patient with his child while mom goes out and leads. That’s pretty common now too, even though her pay is 25% less than a male who does the same job, just because she’s a woman. Sexism is alive and well when it comes to money.

But it isn’t all just Mom baking cookies anymore and that’s a good thing.

Bi-Gender Intuition

I believe that, even though women have a biological brain preponderance of intuition, plenty of men do too.  Plenty of women are naturally good at STEM;(science, technology, engineering, math).  I loved my chemistry set when I was eight. Most men are not as naturally tuned into their bodies as women are.  Again, this is not to disparage, it’s evolution.

I want peace, not gender war.

My wish is simple; that women do not expect men to be like women and that men do not expect women to be like men.  We are who we are and sometimes it’s a benefit for us to partner and live together, given enough space…sometimes.

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