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Just Because Someone Desires You Doesn’t Mean They Value You


zooskThis is especially true for women and men doing the dating game. Just because a man desires you, which is the easiest thing in the world for men, to simply want to f* a woman, take her sex energy from chakras 3, 2, and 1 (stomach/power, abdomen/feelings, and reproductive area/sexual energy down to the feet/grounding) and nothing else, doesn’t mean he values you or ever will.  If he valued you or wanted to he would care about who you were in chakras 4, 5, 6, 7 (and above if you’re a lightworker). That is your heart and feelings/4, how you express yourself and your creativity/5, your visions and dreams/6, and your beliefs and spirituality/7 and above. (see image at the bottom)

just because someone desires you.

A young woman has to find out what the status is there because he might be a father to her children which means he has to stick around for 10-15 years which is generally as long as a family lasts. Then most parent’s divorce. Women have to be the ones who decide. Anyone who suggests that you can “feel” all the vibe you need on the phone or text and tell by their voice whether they “check your boxes” is factually incorrect. If a woman says that to a man, she’s kissing his ass to try to get laid. She’s wrong and unethical.

Most men are very turned on when a woman is attracted to them or wants them sexually because that means she may very well give him that sexual love. Again, that is love for men. However, men don’t really “give love” when they have sex, they take which is nature really. They give sperm but not the energy “of love”. Women need to give their sexual energy actually and love a man by opening up her sexual energy, not just her nether regions. I think a lot of women actually take a man’s manhood just to have an orgasm and she doesn’t focus on opening her whole self during sex.

I actually put this post in the trash because of the next section. I had a reader ask me to restore it so I’m here to help. I trashed it because I have hard feelings about all of this and Spirit has been getting to me lately to wake up an issue for everyone. I’m about to post on it.

Men give us energy from heart, voice, being intuitive and tuned in. They really do show love for us when they listen to how we feel, communicate and pay attention. And they actually need to give that for them to grow as people and women need to receive it. Valuing another person sexually and emotionally takes time. If you need the immediate gratification of sex, the valuing will never happen. There is no possibility of hooking all those chakras so that you actually know the other person as a human being. Women understand that human, physical bond far more than men do which is why sex affects us emotionally whereas, for most men, it can just be a type of release of even defecation. I find that repugnant and being aware of this is why I trashed this. It makes me very, very sad about men to know this. Why would you treat an act that can create a human life like defecation? Because you feel like your own life is shit? Life is a gift and time is precious.

There is no skirting around the fact that if a woman allows a man to draw out her sexual energy (3, 2, and 1) before he has shown that he values her as a human being, you’re using each other. If you give a man an inch, he’ll take a mile when it comes to a woman’s energy. Men need our physical energy far more than we need theirs. What does that tell you? Women are more powerful than men and it’s time for women to OWN IT and be accountable instead of playing the victim. We don’t need men as much as they need us and that makes them very vulnerable.

Personally, I’m at a point where I just want to be trustworthy with myself. I’m not at all sure a vulnerable man should trust me and they can probably feel it. I’m not willing to give my emotions and sex energy to a man who I don’t believe is capable of loving me (which is most of them) in which case, I won’t be turned on, in which case there is no point of sex. Women give away their feelings and sex energy all the time and get nothing in return that really matters.  I can’t do that. I’m smart enough to see the real deal and it’s not an even playing field at all.

It’s starting to feel like my back is against a wall with my Twin Flame. It’s either him or no one and the thought of living the last half of my life alone is not something I can accept. As usual, the Universe via my intuition is going to need to guide me. I’m a human being like everyone else and have needs and desires. Unfortunately, I can’t indulge in it like everyone else and get away unscathed. It completely screws up my Qi to be out of my integrity with Spirit, though sometimes I still try to see what will happen.

the-12-chakra-system2

Traditionally;

Crown is 7th chakra, Third Eye is 6th, Throat is 5, Heart is 4, Solar Plexus or stomach is 3, Sacral is 2 and Root is 1.

The navel is the Dantien area or ancestral Qi that attaches through your mother at birth. Chakras activated above the crown are done through meditation and below the root, or Earth Star may be for people training in shamanistic healing. If you’re doing shamanistic training you really can’t mess around with sex that is not heart connected, in my opinion.

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The Way to a Woman’s ….. is Through Her Heart


 

man-looking-at-checking-out-woman

This is a very enlightening article, but I’m not sure it’s very realistic. It’s ambitious I guess.

Can a Man Be Friends with A Woman He’s Sexually Attracted To?

Over the past thirty years or so, there has been a consistent aspect of men I’ve observed repeatedly. They have the ability to very detached from their feelings or be aware of no feelings at all. They’re able to turn it off and focus on the task at hand, sometimes with cold, hard, logic. The challenge here is that men want to have sex with a very emotional creature; a woman (if you’re straight). If you don’t understand or feel your own feelings what are you going to do? How will you please a woman if you don’t know yourself? Fake it? Lie? We’re told you do that.

You can pride yourself on how detached your heart is from anything or anybody as though there is power in not caring but the opposite is the truth. If you are going to achieve sex/love with a real woman (Not a hook-up which is messed up), you’re going to have to study human feelings and at least understand it and be sensitive to it or she won’t sleep with you unless you’re a very good liar. Sometimes some women aren’t tuned in enough to be able to tell you’re lying. I know that’s what men hope for.

  1. A way to a man’s heart (what women want) is through his stomach (tricky path to his heart).
  2. A way to woman’s nether region (what men want) is through her heart (tricky path to her nether region unless she hates men. If she hates men, she’ll have sex with you immediately and that is very messed up.)

You may want to keep in mind that all women have the heart of;

  1. A young, innocent girl
  2. A teenage flirty girl
  3. An expectant mother
  4. A selfless lover
  5. An A class warrior on the hardest battlefield imaginable
  6. The most heartless dictator you never want to know who is willing to lop heads in the face of too much foolishness and lying

I’m old enough to know that most men are putting on an Oscar performance since observing and mimicking human behavior is easy for anyone. All you have to do is practice a little and most people will believe you. However, most women can see through a man’s actions regarding his sincerity. The problem here is men are mostly confused by human behavior and the body so it’s a double whammy. Women understand both. Yikes!

I recommend you honestly seek to know a few women as friends and understand what you’re looking for in a woman. Once you think you’ve met her, care about who she is as a person. She knows you want to have sex right away but if she’s smart, she won’t. Most women judge that because our whole society puts the wishes of mother and child ahead of men, thus patriarchy which defends men’s natural needs. I don’t. I accept straight guys and don’t wish they were gay.

Keep in mind, during matriarchy, when men were denigrated and women were dominant, no one knew who the fathers of the children were. It was McSex drive-thru; the first hook-ups that drove matriarchy. Women and children lived separately from the men. Someone figured out that it would be a benefit for children to know their fathers OR large numbers of men decided they wanted to know who their children were. THUS, marriage, family, territorialism and the home were born. Women have not totally recovered (haha) because we used to be warriors in charge.

Anyhow, the existence of patriarchy is due to this novel idea of a man living with the woman and children. Males have thus learned about love, nurturing, warmth, ya know, all the squishy estrogen stuff. That means you all DO have the ability to calm down and be kind. So, do that please when you come out of your man cave.

you've got to be kidding me

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…and that’s why there is no attachment


rsz_1sex_workerProfessional sex workers are as important to men as professional therapists, counselors, and psychologists are to women. If relationships mean the world to most women, and they do, then they like therapists who help them navigate the choppy waters. Women are more complex than men. We are also given more freedom to express our emotions in society.

The same goes for men with professional prostitutes. Men are simple. Prostitutes are likely the top women on his list because they’re willing to do whatever he wants and needs to please him with no relationship so he can continue being dedicated to his work and money. Today, at this moment, that could be considered toxic masculinity. I’m really not sure. I’m observing the issue. That’s love and that’s heaven for him, just as relationships are for women.

Yet think about the fact that in American society, sex is not considered loving, is degraded, is ultra natural and is considered to be far below bonding, relationships, and love. Two men, I’ve spoken with absolutely agree that sex can be like defecation to them and that’s fine. No woman I’ve talked to would view sex that way in a million years. Sex is spiritual and emotional for us and it really is toxic for a man to ask us to be any other way. Women that agree to that hate men. But men are supposed to submit to female values which are widely considered to be superior. Are they? Or are these values biased? Are women’s sex values ever toxic? Like, only marrying a man for the child she can give him, the father role he can play, and the money he can provide while she does that? Isn’t she using him?

I have no position on this yet but I am examining the issue because I have very intelligent males friends (more than one), who believe it’s perfectly fine for women to be professional sex workers and treat me like they wish I was one, free of charge, no emotions. I’m not. I’m a human being, a woman with a warm heart, and a professional therapist. But the men in my office treat me like I should be a sex worker, unrelenting. The events in our society seem to be making men even more aggressive than before!professional therapist worker

What’s a good woman with a good heart to do who likes bonding and love? We live in a fallow garden. Our children grow up and move on with their lives. We have to cultivate doing what we love, have our own money and work and our own homes. It is a mistake to trust men or to rely on them for anything if you’re a good hearted woman. Above all, take care of your health. You’re the only one really keeping an eye on things. That’s the reality, only no one wants to admit it.

 

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Male Sexual Fantasy…that’s how you bond?


 

you've got to be kidding meMore information is hitting me today via my intuition about certain men I know and their behavior. I’ve been trying to figure out how men’s minds work for years now and never gave it much thought when I was younger and had no brothers so now I’m playing catch up. I know you’re more simple than us and I don’t need the lecture that I’m over-thinking.

There are two local men I know (in my town) that I’m sure are in love with me to whom I have zero interest or attraction. I know that sounds harsh, but I’m pretty sure guys are the same way. Some women get your motor running, other’s don’t, even if you “try” to give them a chance. These two men are like a dog with a bone simply based on the fact that several years ago I was nice or warm to both of them. (Please refer to my blog post “Warmth from a woman doesn’t mean she’s attracted to you.”). Also, the attraction over social media or the phone is absolutely bizarre to me. You can’t know any truth that way. Again, it’s just for male fantasy gratification and does nothing for the woman. But that doesn’t matter, does it? Just know that if you don’t actually meet a woman, she will drop you like a hot potato fairly quickly.

So, as I was eating my salad and soda crackers just now it hit me. Men’s minds are based on the fantasy of a woman he’s met or has talked to, not fact. Men’s minds form emotional, sexual fantasies based on projection and his own weaving of fantasy that he wants to believe. He also will project his own image via social media and when you meet him, he won’t necessarily look that way. That’s happened to me too. It’s not that we’re biased about the way you look, it’s that you lied and misled us. That’s going to get you in a heap of trouble guys.

I and every woman I know, are very rational about relationships and men. We look for certain hygiene, clothing, behavior, and financial facts, communication that absolutely tell us whether to let our motor run for you or not. We can control all of that. Yes, we do control all of that, like we’re shopping. I’m not saying that smell, pheromones, looks and such aren’t involved because they are at a very primal level. So yes, women say, “God he has a perfect booty.” and get all lusty, or “He’s super sweet and smart” but not the way men do. Every woman is different but it is never based on GQ crap…ever. However, if his tone of voice with us or the way he acts is vile, that fine booty counts for nothing, nada, zip, zero. We fall in love with the person and the potential for bonding, not your body. That’s how our brains work.

Why is that? Because our arousal is based on your vibe, whether you know us or not, whether you want to know us or not, our feelings, our relationship. You’re falling asleep already reading this and because of that, more women are going to be celibate. We can do that too.

graceful-girl-smilingDo you know how easy this face is to fake for women? More women have just given in to a man’s lust who cannot stop staring at and fantasizing about our breasts or pussy and cannot focus or hold a conversation. We’re like, “For god’s sake, listen to me.” No, you can’t listen to us if you’re staring at our lips or crotch and we know it.  and motivation, Millions of women make quite a bit of money taking advantage of men’s lack of sophistication when it comes to human relationship mostly through prostitution. You’ve set yourselves up! Improve your intelligence and this won’t happen.

So, you guys are completely irrational about any prospects of truly arousing us or knowing us or bonding because relationships aren’t even on your radar. Or to be fair, maybe you don’t “have” the radar. I am trying to be fair. I don’t think relationship and understanding female behavior is in your wiring and I’m done being mad about it. It’s simple. We need love, affection, and kindness in addition to sex.

This is tragic for women who then fake orgasm or does whatever we have to do for ourselves to enjoy our bodies because our culture has men completely brainwashed to believe that your penis is everything and all we need. That is SO wrong it isn’t even funny. I’ve been with men of all different “sizes”, body size and all the other pieces and it has not mattered one iota whether I was turned on or not. There are specific things that do matter but that’s for another blog. Every woman is different! And what is worse is there are millions of women out there who have given up and just let the man’s fantasies and his penis focus control her love life believing that you will NEVER be astute enough to get our sexuality and how we love.

I have not given up hope yet, but applying some rational fact and getting a handle on those sexual fantasy feelings will be a big step forward.

I welcome any questions. If you think I’m off on something, feel free to call me out but do so in a civil manner, please. I don’t have all the answers and I know I’m not always right.