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…and that’s why there is no attachment


rsz_1sex_workerProfessional sex workers are as important to men as professional therapists, counselors, and psychologists are to women. If relationships mean the world to most women, and they do, then they like therapists who help them navigate the choppy waters. Women are more complex than men. We are also given more freedom to express our emotions in society.

The same goes for men with professional prostitutes. Men are simple. Prostitutes are likely the top women on his list because they’re willing to do whatever he wants and needs to please him with no relationship so he can continue being dedicated to his work and money. Today, at this moment, that could be considered toxic masculinity. I’m really not sure. I’m observing the issue. That’s love and that’s heaven for him, just as relationships are for women.

Yet think about the fact that in American society, sex is not considered loving, is degraded, is ultra natural and is considered to be far below bonding, relationships, and love. Two men, I’ve spoken with absolutely agree that sex can be like defecation to them and that’s fine. No woman I’ve talked to would view sex that way in a million years. Sex is spiritual and emotional for us and it really is toxic for a man to ask us to be any other way. Women that agree to that hate men. But men are supposed to submit to female values which are widely considered to be superior. Are they? Or are these values biased? Are women’s sex values ever toxic? Like, only marrying a man for the child she can give him, the father role he can play, and the money he can provide while she does that? Isn’t she using him?

I have no position on this yet but I am examining the issue because I have very intelligent males friends (more than one), who believe it’s perfectly fine for women to be professional sex workers and treat me like they wish I was one, free of charge, no emotions. I’m not. I’m a human being, a woman with a warm heart, and a professional therapist. But the men in my office treat me like I should be a sex worker, unrelenting. The events in our society seem to be making men even more aggressive than before!professional therapist worker

What’s a good woman with a good heart to do who likes bonding and love? We live in a fallow garden. Our children grow up and move on with their lives. We have to cultivate doing what we love, have our own money and work and our own homes. It is a mistake to trust men or to rely on them for anything if you’re a good hearted woman. Above all, take care of your health. You’re the only one really keeping an eye on things. That’s the reality, only no one wants to admit it.

 

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Women Attach Through Sex and Men Attach Through Relationship


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My intuition did a whammy on me last week and I sat on this for that long.

“Women attach through sex/physical attention and men attach through relationship/emotional attention! Ironic isn’t it.“

You probably read that title and said, “Ok, we know that about women but men?” No one talks about men getting all warm and fuzzy and emotionally attached to a woman just because of her vibe, how she moves or how she talks and walks. It’s in all the songs they sing though. Men pine much more deeply for a woman than a woman will ever pine for a man and they’ve told me that they have an issue with that! Women, on the other hand, tell me how imperfect a man has been, how she’s rejected him and that he screwed up. The men I know NEVER tell me that about a woman. The men are adoring of their mate. Think about it. Men are far more rejected than we are.

Men are very insecure about this state of things and men feel deeply when they fall in love with a woman. The big news for women is, THE REASON THEY FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU IS RARELY, IF EVER, TO DO WITH YOUR OBJECTIVE APPEARANCE OR BEAUTY BY MEDIA STANDARDS. IT HAS TO DO WITH WHO YOU ARE AS A PERSON.

Now I will explain what I figured out via my intuition last week. I’ll start with women. Women, imagine how easy and normal it is for you to talk, commune, flirt, hug, be warm and smiley with all the women you know. We do that so easily with each other, even if we’re strangers. I certainly do. We “do” relationship all the time with other women. Not so much with men and here’s why.

Sex. Men find sex to be easy and natural and if civilization hadn’t pulled a whammy on them and judged them for being so sexy and natural they’d probably have sex all the time. Civilization has curbed men in terms of their nature much more than it has women. I’m not saying men find it easy to have sex with other men naturally but the boys club is real. They manage to bond and do things with each other in other ways like sports and such that make up for not having sex with each other. And sometimes, as we know, they do have sex with each other. But think of that. Being gay is much more acceptable for women than it is for men. Why is that? Civilization is set up so that when a woman has her fondest wish, a child, the man is there to be a father for the child’s sake, or at least society has told him he’s supposed to be. If he’s not, society has plenty of punishments for him.

Back to women; the ease with which we have a relationship and find it fine and natural is the ease with which men find sex with others; women or men fine and natural. It’s superficial! Men find sex superficial and normal just as women find relating to others to be superficial and normal. It’s just part of life. Some are close, some aren’t. Women should know that when men see us relating so easily and happily with other women and men, they get anxious about what we’re up to. They don’t know that it’s superficial for us and we’re just being friendly. I don’t think they’ll admit this though.

For women; put sex in the mix with relating to a man and the woman is pulled off of her center. Not only because our physical energy is super responsive to sex but because it’s always a possibility that we could get pregnant. Sex is a big deal to us on many levels.

Put a relationship in the mix for a man when he’s relating to a woman and he’s pulled off of his center because he doesn’t have much natural skill in it. What men do is tease, tickle, jostle, nudge, compete, get a little jealous and criticize some when he has feelings for a woman that he’s a bit uncomfortable with. Take that as a cue women. He likely has a crush on you. Don’t lead him on if you don’t have a crush on him. If you think he may really care about you and you him, it’s a mistake to rush into sex. The other bonding needs to happen first in my opinion.

What is the remedy here? First, accept that men and women are naturally different from one another and don’t diss and neg on each other saying, “All he wants is sex or all she wants is a relationship.” The OPPOSITE is the truth. Again, I’ve surveyed people in my office for twenty years. Women talk about sex with men and it means a tremendous amount to us to be attended to physically and wanted sexually and to check out the chemistry. Sex will never be superficial to us. A woman who is superficial with sex or playing in the porn arena is up to something that is not good for men. I think it’s selfish on her part. She gets all kinds of sex and gives no care or relationship.

It’s ironic to me that we view men as being so awful to women right now when the fact that the porn industry exists and so many men (and women) are addicted to it shows that there are millions of women out there who hate men, don’t believe they have feelings and don’t care about their feelings or needs. But, it’s taboo for men to express what they need emotionally, isn’t it? Undoing that, women raising their sons to express their feelings and encouraging their daughters to physically love themselves will start to bring gender equity.

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Rational Passion


red serpent rising

 

What is passion?

The Urban dictionary says,

“Passion is when you put more energy into something than is required to do it. It is more than just enthusiasm or excitement, passion is an ambition that is materialized into action to put as much heart, mind-body, and soul into something as possible.”

The less precise but widely held definition is;

“strong and barely controllable emotion.”

That one is inaccurate and projected onto women more than men. I don’t believe women are more emotional than men. I believe estrogen and testosterone make men and women equally emotional, just in different ways. Think about it. Women and men both go off the rails emotionally due to hormone imbalance; women the estrogen, men with testosterone! Those hormones align with physical workout by the way.

The reason for this definition still being popular is that humans are still most strongly motivated by lust and desire for sex and food. We are still at a basic primate level developmentally as far as our brains. It’s easy to see proof of that in our society. Sex, food, and money are the basic things humans want or all they want and those lusts control all of our institutions, politics, and families. If you look at most posts on social media, those three are the basic motivations.

But the first accurate definition is beyond emotion; it contains rational thinking, observation, decision making and taking action to materialize the passion. Most important, it requires patience and determination. It requires intelligence, vision, and choice. It ends up being a desire to serve and give back as well. It’s generous.

I want to point out that going this route does not make someone “better” than others, worthy of jealousy, derision, and offloading. It means they are willing to take what they’ve been given and work hard to apply themselves to the task they’ve chosen while others are not. They are good examples and deserve respect. I’m not always willing to do it though, only sometimes. It is the utter sign of laziness when others offload, use, and are jealous of someone who is likely equal to them in gifts and ability but is not willing to pay the price to do what the other one is doing! But boy do they swear that they love you. Love is actions, not words. Love is not rhetoric.

I am a passionate person, but because I’m all about transcending my subconscious programming from my family in order to become a conscious adult, I’ve developed my rational mind to a great extent to subdue the subconscious voice that is too emotional and dramatic,  addicted to secure habits and harps on the past. My motivation is to help add to the possibility of species survival as opposed to extinction, of which seemingly, we are on the precipice.

Why else would a majority of Americans elect the most self-serving, racist, greedy, destructive man possible to be the President of the U.S., allow pedophile churchman to continue to be the leaders of the Christian Church, allow science to be run not by the scientific method and rational facts but money and misogyny? Women will never be allowed into any of those institutions.

All of the behaviors in those institutions reminds them of the values of their family growing up, the subconscious mind; addiction, alcoholism, capitalist greed and ambition, ego, submission or abuse of their mother and then likely her abuse of them, incest, sexual avarice, and the hypocrisy of covering it all with regular church attendance and tithing. It sounds like a bipartisan congressional picnic to me. Is anyone really good? I don’t care about anyone’s details that would print in the National Enquirer. I’m not a judge or confessor nor will I accept name-calling or offloading because I know the truth.

It continues to entertain me to see the level of shock and dismay about Trump, as though anything he does or any motivation he has isn’t predictable if you’ve been paying attention for a NY minute. He was elected by his American children in certain demographic groups who admire his deviant, greedy, destructive behavior. They love how evil he is because then it gives them license to behave badly. They want him to burn the “house” down because it represents their hypocritical, unhappy, racist, alcoholic childhoods. Maybe their mothers were not only unhappy but also sexually abused them. There are a lot of messed up women out there but it’s taboo for men to rat on women or their mothers. Everything is blamed on the men don’t ya know. Otherwise, they’re called “pussies”. Some women really leverage that fear in men and are very abusive.

If you haven’t figured it out by now, in the collective house, the Democrats are the mom and the Republicans are the dad. The citizens are the children. This thing can’t turn out well…unless the Republican party uplevels to become a worthy opponent to the Democrats like they used to be.

I’m not better than anyone, as my mother accused me of believing about myself at Thanksgiving, but I am very psychic, can see the truth about people, have a real heart for humans, and deeply want to see our species survive extinction. I have a big vision that I’m not willing to hand over to small visions, petty jealousies, and lazy, irrational minds that don’t remember where they came from. We all have the capacity to be better and do better. I hold myself to that more than anyone else so there is nothing hurtful you can say to me that I don’t already say to myself.

I’ll just keep working and taking care of myself.

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Telepathy is a Function of Intuition


Telepathy is probably very common but most people ignore it and think they’re imagining something; their mind is making it up. No, it probably isn’t. We have certain thoughts for a reason. The mind is not particularly random. It’s more like a radio station picking up signals.

I had another startling dream event that led to being aware that I still have my Twin Flame telepathy going on even though I feel much more emotionally detached from him since meeting him for a host of reasons. So be it.

I’m here to tell you that just because there is some distance between you and your Twin Flame, the telepathy doesn’t stop. This morning, before I woke up, my guidance team flashed a real-life picture, hard copy, of his first family in front of me; he, his ex-wife and kids to show me exactly what they looked like. I wasn’t wondering about any of that. Spirit shoved it in my face to wake me up to remind me not to neglect our connection. GEE THANKS!! Is Spirit shoving pictures of ME in front of him in his dreams? Probably not. He’s preoccupied with making peace with his family which is another lesson. We talked about him doing that too so I encouraged it.

We talked about them at length when I was out there and I thought he was at peace with it being over, but…maybe not. Because then I “saw” a big Thanksgiving get together where they could be together again for a bit and be peaceful along with his aging parents. All of that looks very good and unifying for a family whether the parents are married or not.

As we progress toward Thanksgiving, I think he’s preparing and planning the meal. The picture that was flashed to me is what spurred it again. As I said, Spirit did it because I’ve been ignoring our connection of late because HE IS! Why should I be the only one on this end of things paying attention? I’m not going to be the nice woman over here communicating. No way.

Sometimes, honestly, I question what I’ve committed myself to on this planet, being as psychic, sensitive, and intuitive as I am. The Spirit world has it’s hands on me because I volunteered to be of service from the bottom of my heart. It’s not an easy job. But the good thing is, I never feel alone or lonely, I always feel taken care of, I don’t rely on fickle humans because the Universe has my back and I’m never left in the dark with an unanswered question.

I really can’t complain and have much to be grateful for. Most of all, my intuition.

fall leaves

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A Video that Goes Perfectly with “I’ll Never Love Again” by Lady Gaga from “A Star Is Born”


First, start the song, then scroll down and start the video. As a woman, this is how love tends to be for us. Especially after too much sex where the man is not or will not be emotionally involved with us. What’s the point then? It’s a deep pool where we feel alone being who we are.

 

This video is really beautiful and unique. I just happened to see it on my FB feed while I was listening to Lady Gaga’s song. Just keep the mute on the video while you listen to the song.

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Possessing Free Will Does Not Make us Separate From One Another


Deterministic philosophy is all the rage and so very hip these days. Machine learning, A.I., tech, humans as cogs in a wheel and not really culpable for our choices from second to second. There is no moral responsibility and no duty then. Everyone is completely free to be low level selfish and just use each other. Why not stare at our androids and be macabre and depressed? Add to that disparaging spirituality, the existence of God or Source and outright hatred of religious expressions and sentimentality and it has become an emotional bias on the part of the anarchists, the clever, and the elite. Maybe they feel oppressed or in the minority on this issue? Too many people are happy and positive, empowered and taking action and making them want to hurl? Statistics have shown that most people on the planet believe in God and an afterlife. That’s terrible news for a determinist in their cave of cynicism.

We could be rational and intuitive, instead of pretending to be just rational like a robot. Let’s get a handle on our emotions. Yes, you do have feelings. We all do. Men especially need to be allowed to be human beings, not robots. And frankly, it’s up to the women to kind of, open the window and let the fresh air in for them. It does require a lot of patience and sighing. We’ve had permission socially to be emotional and intuitive for thousands of years as mothers. Men have NOT had permission and it’s a freaking debacle for them and for everyone!

First, here is the definition of deterministic philosophy and it’s types. It’s not very long;

Click here Unless You Don’t Read. Then I insist You Click It.

” A theory that all events, including moral choices, are completely determined by previously existing causes. Determinism is usually understood to preclude free will because it entails that humans cannot act otherwise than they do. The theory holds that the universe is utterly rational because complete knowledge of any given situation assures that unerring knowledge of its future is also possible.”

Wait…the scientists can barely predict anything with any accuracy, especially when it comes to theoretical physics. They blame the existence of infinity for that. Yes, infinity has been proven.

Infinity is Ruining Physics

Real analysis

In real analysis, the symbol {\displaystyle \infty }, called “infinity” or the leminscate, is used to denote an unbounded limit.[21] The notation {\displaystyle x\rightarrow \infty } means that x grows without bound, and {\displaystyle x\to -\infty } means that  xdecreases without bound. If f(t) ≥ 0 for every t, then[22]

  • {\displaystyle \int _{a}^{b}f(t)\,dt=\infty } means that f(t) does not bound a finite area from {\displaystyle a} to {\displaystyle b}
  • {\displaystyle \int _{-\infty }^{\infty }f(t)\,dt=\infty } means that the area under f(t) is infinite.
  • {\displaystyle \int _{-\infty }^{\infty }f(t)\,dt=a} means that the total area under f(t) is finite, and equals {\displaystyle a}

Infinity is also used to describe infinite series:

  • {\displaystyle \sum _{i=0}^{\infty }f(i)=a} means that the sum of the infinite series converges to some real value {\displaystyle a}.
  • {\displaystyle \sum _{i=0}^{\infty }f(i)=\infty } means that the sum of the infinite series diverges in the specific sense that the partial sums grow without bound.[citation needed]

Infinity can be used not only to define a limit but as a value in the extended real number system. Points labeled {\displaystyle +\infty } and {\displaystyle -\infty } can be added to the topological space of the real numbers, producing the two-point compactification of the real numbers. Adding algebraic properties to this gives us the extended real numbers.[23] We can also treat {\displaystyle +\infty } and {\displaystyle -\infty }as the same, leading to the one-point compactification of the real numbers, which is the real projective line.[24] Projective geometry also refers to a line at infinity in plane geometry, a plane at infinity in three-dimensional space, and a hyperplane at infinity for general dimensions, each consisting of points at infinity.

Blah, blah, blah. As you can see, infinity is “a thing”.

Freewill increases unity and interdependence, not separateness which is dysfunction and conflict. Human beings tend to be willful and passionate. We are emotional creatures and that’s a good thing. It makes us individual creators that have unique perspectives. That perspective helps the universe expand and therefore, each person counts in the universal scheme of things. There is no other reason to live. If we live in a deterministic universe where we truly have no say, you may as well not be alive. Why are you taking up space as a cog in a wheel if you really believe that? Since no one really cares or shouldn’t because it doesn’t matter, we can have never-ending war and just kill every person on the planet and then blow it up.

No thanks. And, it’s highly irrational for people who claim to be detached and rational to believe anything of the sort.

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Continue reading “Possessing Free Will Does Not Make us Separate From One Another”

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Serial Dysfunction; The Need to Fix or Control Events Around You


I’m still seeing this in people’s behavior near me and in society, but not as much. It’s an unwillingness to feel your real feelings in the middle of an event, something tragic or good that is happening, or in a close relationship. I’ve said this before and it bears saying again. It’s not about indulging or staying in an emotion but letting it flow like water down a stream. You need to stop trying to do so much around the event and for other people when it’s happening and sit with them, empathize, have compassion, not pity, and be quiet. It is only in that way that trust is garnered between people. Being bossy or authoritative will always be resented by human beings. Boss yourself around, not others. BYOB could mean “Be your own boss” and there wouldn’t be a need to “Bring your own booze.”

I’ve seen it over and over in my office. Human beings appreciate firm, loving boundaries and to hear your expertise, but don’t tell them what to do or how to feel or they have the right to resist you in any way they can and they will. A parent doing this to adult children or nearly adult children is particularly dysfunctional. You need to live your own life if you’re trying to live your life through your kids.

Sometimes just being there and just listening is all someone needs! Most of the difficulty in life cannot be fixed or controlled and it is incredibly obnoxious to be around someone who wants to do that when you as an individual are capable of feeling and flowing with your deep feelings, negative or positive, whatever it may be! Your body can only be aligned if you go into that alone or with one other person. Repressed emotions kill people! Overly indulged emotions kill people too so there is a balance called for. A professional therapist and Reiki treatments really help. It’s called high blood pressure, stroke, and addictive behaviors, so it’s fairly serious.

The elements of our society that think it’s funny, ridiculous, or immature to actually be authentic in expressing how you feel are psychologically damaged and need to stop projecting their denial onto others, making fun of them or being abusive. It’s a type of bullying. Repressed emotion leading to addiction isn’t funny; it’s tragic and we see it in the increased level of suicide, including the slow kind; society sanctioned alcoholism, sex crimes, drug addiction, religious addiction, materialism, and hate crimes.

I guess I’m a big hippie. Peace and Love baby. Here’s to a happier, healthier world that’s sober and creatively passionate.

peace-sign

 

 

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Shaming Intimate Human Feeling as a Tool of Patriarchy; Separation and Control


Why Patriarchy Is Not About Men

By Miki Kashtan Ph.D. says, 

“In the European historical lineage, which later affected many other cultures through colonial contact, the shift to separation and control coincided with making paternity central. (Instead of matrilineal descent) How paternity came to be central after it wasn’t for 97% of the existence of Homo Sapiens is way beyond what a blog post can address. What is important to note, though, is that once paternity becomes important, controlling women is inevitable, because only by controlling women can it be reliably known who the father is. There is an irreducible distance between the biological father and the offspring that can only be eliminated fully by imprisoning a woman and preventing any other man from having access to her. This is why patriarchal societies by necessity become societies of control and separation. We have become so habituated to this state of affairs that most of us don’t even see that it is our own creation.”

I have three sources that I’ve referred to in learning about matriarchy or matrilineal kinship over the last few years. Matriarchy preceded patriarchy by about ten thousand years it is believed, by studying archeological finds all over the world. Right here at the beginning, I will once again state that it is my great wish for gender equity in private and in public, not re-visiting matriarchal dominance in our modern society or in our homes. Keep in mind that the family is also an institution. Women and men need to share power equally in all of our institutions or frankly, those institutions will disintegrate under the influence of excess testosterone seen mostly in militarism. At the grassroot level in the home, it manifests as domestic violence, lack of birth control, and disrespect for women’s feeling nature and consequently men’s feeling nature.

My sources are:

The Book; “The Origin of the Family, Private Property and the State” by Friedrich Engels

In this book, stages of prehistoric culture are outlined first as savagery, then barbarism and civilization.

I then found a lengthy article as a commentary on Engels, written by Chris Knight. It was: “Engels was Right; Early Human Kinship was Matrilineal”

Early Human Kinship was Matrilineal

He delves into the question; “Was the primordial human social institution the family or the matrilineal clan?” His conclusion based on science is that it was the matrilineal clan. In other words, matriarchy is not a myth; it was real. Here is another link noting their existence;

Five Matriarchal Societies In History

They are The Nubians in Egypt, The Trobrianders in Africa, the Palawan in SE Asia, the Khasi in NE India, and the Mosvo in SW China.

Kashtan says,

“Boys are now brutalized in ways that girls are not in order to prepare them for positions of domination. As bell hooks says, “Learning to wear a mask (that word already embedded in the term ‘masculinity’) is the first lesson in patriarchal masculinity that a boy learns. He learns that his core feelings cannot be expressed if they do not conform to the acceptable behaviors sexism defines as male. Asked to give up the true self in order to realize the patriarchal ideal, boys learn self-betrayal early and are rewarded for these acts of soul murder.” (bell hooks, The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love)”

When human feeling is shamed, the body is shamed. The body is one with the Mind which consists of thoughts and feelings and the Spirit. Thus, in holism, we say “Mind, Body, Spirit” and this is our paradigm shift in this current day and age. It is my life’s work for the last twenty years. In my estimation,

*We are up against the degradation of intuition on the part of patriarchal institutions of Church and State, even though it’s widely known that our greatest scientists and artists were very balanced in intuition and rational thinking. The two combined are the higher mind.

*We are up against Newtonian Mechanics and reductionist philosophy still taught in most of our medical schools shoring up the failing western health care system. (Is your body really a car? No) Quantum Physics is more accurate now.

*We are up against Artificial Intelligence (A.I.) and technology being put on a pedestal of machine learning that supposedly transcends the dregs of humanities ability with blood, muscle, and effort to get the job done. In other words, Real Intelligence is pitted against Artificial Intelligence.

*We are pitted against a worldwide media that portrays human beauty in a very small box and everyone else should be replaced by a machine. This is once again, the degradation of the human body.

They can’t get into EVERY corner of our private lives. We can restrict the invasion of our privacy in our own homes, make different choices, keep having sex the way we want to, with whomever we want to, or intimate relationships before sex the way we need to. We can keep sharing our authentic feelings one on one with friends and family. We can be kind to one another whenever possible.  We can practice holistic medicine, only visit the doctor in an emergency, boycott health insurance and take care of our body ourselves with effort and with cash. In all of those ways, we can realize that we are real humans with a lineage that is universal; not matrilineal or patrilineal based only on our birth family or DNA.

Earth in a Spiral

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An Addict’s Ability to Project is Prolific


My experience and intuition tell me that this happens when a person isn’t in control of their own body, habits, and life. It’s ultimately a health issue and usually tied to addiction. I grant that at the root of addictive behavior are deep emotional wounds, likely from childhood and unconscious or subconscious mind, and that we each want to feel better physically and emotionally and be freer. But at whose expense? It should be at your own expense. The rest of us should not be at the receiving end of your unwillingness to get some help. No one expects deep addiction issues to be handled alone. But the least we ask is that you not offload onto we civilians who are not professionals and seek professional help. I’m guessing there isn’t one person on the planet who doesn’t intimately know an active addict and it breaks everyone’s hearts; mostly your children.

It doesn’t matter how much you love someone or if they are your soul mate or your twin flame; the committed addict ruins everything. They have to use a drug to nullify their feelings and make every excuse in the book to use it and even break the law to justify it. Gee, what would that be? Civil disobedience to unjust laws that protect the public from irrational behavior while you’re on the substance or god forbid, you’re driving while on something?

You have to move on. There is no choice here or you will go down with their ship. It’s not worth it.

Alcoholism and other addictions are epidemics in our society and I’m so sick of dealing with it everywhere I turn. The weirdest part is when there is memory loss regarding communication. Even when you have proof of what they said in an email or text and they deny it. It’s unbelievable that someone can still attempt to pin a behavior on you when you have proof that they are the ones behaving that way. Goodbye. No trust.

I guess the definition of an addict is someone who is completely out of touch with their feelings and haven’t a clue what the truth is for them. So they go haphazardly through life, screwing up all of their relationships with friends, co-workers, employees, mates, and children. You would think that would be incentive enough to get some help but I’m guessing they’d just as soon stay in denial and lazy about getting a grip and fixing it. They have no inner courage.

Those deep wounds aren’t anyone else’s’ problem but theirs no matter how hard they try to tell you there is something wrong with you. That is the projection and there is no end to it. There is such a thing as an innocent party who is just learning that you are abusing a substance to the point of behavior change. Once we learn that they are not cogent, then it’s our responsibility to walk away and let the chips fall where they will. Otherwise, you’ll get into co-dependency instead of interdependency and that’s not going to help anyone.

Co-dependent is enabler and addict depending on one another to keep the addiction going. Health, money, structure, and life is in chaos for both. It’s a destructive cycle and no one is healthy or happy. All of your relationships are screwed up and most people who know you are mad at you.

Interdependent means you both are in charge of your own lives, know how you feel, express it, take care of yourself, have friends who like you and you like them, have your money and things organized, are able to say you’re sorry, and like any normal human being, have needs and want to depend on someone for support once in a while.

Let’s hope we can pair up with the people we truly deserve, not the ones we don’t.
Sunset-over-Sea-of-Galilee-tb102904518

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Not Caring is Ok Too


I see so much admonition and platitude doodling on FB and Twitter. Posts saying, “Be this way, not this way”, “Act this way, not this way” “Be your best, not your worst” and on and on.  I think it’s getting old. Human beings always just do what comes naturally to them. Most of us just behave in a way that we always behave or whatever is our habit.

It’s authentic, for good or bad. Frankly, just being yourself, grumpy, naked or clothed, dancing crazily around the house or sleeping a lot is what it is. Some people drink too much. Others eat too much. Some people are high all the time. All of that are emotions that haven’t come forward. But let’s face it; it’s not easy for any of us to admit when we feel angry, impatient, guilty, or selfish.

Still, it’s the truth and the truth is good. So honestly, I think most human beings just prefer that others around them just be themselves. Just be who you are in the moment and don’t try to be something else. It gets on my nerves when people act contrived and ambitious. I wonder what they’re hiding.

I don’t care how others act too much. If it really bothers me, I’ll find an exit. If I really like it, I’ll go towards it and I think most people do that. You don’t have to complain too much or try to change anything. Sometimes it’s best to relax and not care.

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