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The Heart is the Foundation for the Mind


Auroral Moon Flower

A worthy motivation comes from your heart. If you don’t feel you need a reason or you don’t have a reason or haven’t thought deeply enough about your reason for doing something, you’re going to hurt people and yourself. If you know you hurt people and still go forward because you refuse to face your rage, you’re creating karma for yourself. That’s called leading people astray while you’re hurting yourself.

You can tell by a person’s private relationships or even if they have them whether they are heart set. You can tell by whether they follow through on what they say they’ll do whether they are heart set and telling the truth. You can tell by whether they make a commitment to something they say they want. If they don’t follow through, they’re lying and don’t know how they feel. You can tell by if they “say” they care but their behavior is uncaring and scattered. All of this is dysfunction, so very viral and so very human. If someone doesn’t want to meet you in person and only uses social media, none of the communication is real. It’s not grounded in reality which is the body, and relationship. What I’m saying is taboo because it comes from the female. Women understand relating, bonding, the body, and friendship. Men don’t.

This is key given all the talk about Mindset and motivation. If you say you have a strong mind but then say that you hurt people or have a track record of hurting people, you’re in denial. That’s not that big of a deal. Most of humanity is in denial about the emotional trauma that’s been done to them and thus they have a closed heart. Most of those people don’t try to lead others though. But if you claim to be teaching people, you need to do something about your denial.

You can’t escape to your mind and think you’re in control. Where is that rage and refusal to think about motivation coming from? How about a heart attack? Do you really need that to wake up? What about cut offs? Do you pretend you care about someone and then kick them to the curb like yesterday’s garbage? That’s a closed heart. That’s caused by a lack of forgiveness and trauma that you have not faced. It also translates into an attachment disorder because your parents were evil in your youth and are responsible for your scarred subconscious. I get that and it’s the human condition. I went through it too and blew it out of the water. You are still response-able to be good in your adult behavior and choices even though they weren’t.

Energy workers know that you’ve internalized the energy of your abuser, unconsciously, likely a fucked up parent who doesn’t deserve the time of day or rent in your head and heart. Reiki will help balance that. The only way to get rid of them is to forgive them and sit very strongly in your own soul space. Do you understand how to really forgive? It has nothing to do with them getting off the karmic hook they got themselves on. The Universe will see to it that they get justice. It’s not your job. You get yourself off the karmic hook by forgiving them and sending them to the back of your mind where they need to sit down and be quiet. Your life and conscious mind belong to you, not them.

How? I realized my parents were human beings, very weak, not very smart and hated themselves. They had some good traits but not as many as I do. Our children do exceed us on the evolutionary scale and they’re supposed to! Then I turned around and made choices that made me the opposite and better, I got competitive and very rarely thought about them or saw them until I knew I was stronger. They weren’t going to win and it’s the duty of our children to think like that. Weak, hateful, abusive, scapegoating adults should not win, especially over children. It really is the mistake of smarter, stronger people who don’t kick ass that allows this world to get away with utter bullshit. We like to blame the weak for the trouble in the world but the truth is, those who love themselves, have the guts to speak up and lead and aren’t looking for approval have a duty to do so. Who else is going to really get change going? We have to have FULL integrity though and not make victim excuses! It seems to me that every human, given the opportunity, will offload their BS and attempt to victimize someone else. That creates karma. Don’t do it, no matter what’s been done to you.

I take all kinds of crap for being a woman with an IQ of 140, an Aries, competitive, a leader, and speak up when I feel like it. I only have a few friends and men are afraid of me and call me names even after they find me cute and soft, which I am.  I’m a good listener until you start sizing me up and getting it wrong. I will cut off your speaking. I’m also a courageous warrior which I can’t help. It’s totally who I am.

The cute thing wanes quickly. I really don’t care. Only one man has ever loved me; Michael, and he died three years ago suddenly, so, death is a reality and men tend to drop over, women. Women need to have their own security in place. That’s earth.

I’m not in denial that it is taboo and not popular for super intuitive, intelligent women to say the heart leads the mind but it’s the truth. That’s also saying, women are the leaders on the planet, not men. Everyone knows that you can’t think straight or make good decisions unless you know how you feel from within yourself. Women know that. You have to understand your own emotions or your mind will not function, guys. It’s not good for your health no matter how ripped you are.

 

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Stillness is Very Powerful


rumi in silenceIn a world that never stops spinning, talking, reaching, and criticizing, time has shown that human beings and other parts of nature that know how to be still and quiet accomplish much. Oprah Winfrey, Madonna, Arianna Huffington, Katy Perry, Mark Benioff, and Paul McCartney all meditate daily. Einstein basically practiced something called image streaming. The idea is that there are a bunch of images that are constantly streaming through our brains, no matter with what work we are pre-occupied. This image streaming can become a meditative practice if you either control the formation of these images or just follow them with single-minded focus. This means that a lot of his discoveries were actually just creative thought processes perceived intuitively.

The Yogi Masters Were Right

Action is overrated by those not tuned in emotionally and spiritually. If you don’t know any different you don’t know what you’re missing. If you can’t feel movement within or tune into the ethers, you don’t know anything is happening! Consequently, you feel the need to make something happen outside of yourself. I’ve tried to compromise with friends on this to try to understand them and it’s clear to me we’re at different levels of spiritual awareness. I stopped trying. The truth is, the shifting happens inside first. You can’t fake what you really think and feel. It comes through your silent body. Get help lining your energy up in your energy body first so that you’re sitting in your integrity when you speak and act.  Reiki is great for that. Those that aren’t observant or see with dim eyes may be faked out for a while but history has also shown that in time, people see the truth.

I was reading on my daily TwinFlame11:11.com site this morning and it was exactly synchronous with what I woke up and started blogging on today. Today the line-up on every level is good for tuning into the radio station of your inner guidance. She says, “True emotion is a messenger. It stems from an accurate, intuitive, response to energy. False emotion is a reaction to outer energy, things going on in the world and with other people, what we read on social media and TV.” The advice is to keep an eye on yourself.

  1. Am I responding to something I feel in the quiet, from within myself? Can I even hear it?
  2. Am I reacting to everything and everyone outside of myself in all the noise and spinning?

It is still very true that actions speak louder than words but so does inaction. A crucial decision is how much do we value feeling our own energy and spiritual guides or guidance than other people. I love being by myself and never, ever feel alone or lonely. How on earth, on this busy planet, can anyone ever feel completely alone. We are swimming in a myriad of earth movement that never ceases. Having to respond to the weather physically is included in that. Sometimes I wish I could just go sit on a star way far off this earth to really be alone until I realize that maybe that would cause me to feel closer to a swirling inhabited, busier Universe than earth!

There is activity everywhere and there really is no escaping it no matter where you live. You finally see that when you live by yourself whether it’s in the city or the woods. Living with others is only a distraction from the fact that there is no escape from the activity. It’s ironic.

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I Had a Breakneck Dream About My Little Sister


me and my sisters

That’s me on the left. My little sister is on the far right. Don’t ya love our Keds? Of course, she’s not little anymore she’s just my younger sister. But I always felt very protective of her and we did everything together as little kids so I still think of her as little. She was a sweetpea as a child and I loved her. I still love her.

I’ve blogged on this before, but part of being intuitive and respecting your intuition means paying attention to your dreams, remembering them, deciphering them, and realizing that sometimes, they’re real and prescient. Not all dreams feel real. Some are just cleansing of the unconscious mind to free it up for new movement when you wake up.

This dream was real and was a whammy. I dreamt that I was in an ethereal house with my sister and my Dad and he was being his typical good ole’ boy midwestern religious self, pretty much the same energy that every woman still runs into with men these days. Honestly, he was no different. He was inappropriate and a user; in other words, abusive which is normal for how men treat women. Women like to be in denial about the nature of males all the time and I refuse to be. Many are far past compliant in order to stay alive! Most are our predators, lock, stock, and barrel. They are not givers, they are takers and want sex, food, and respect, not necessarily in that order. My father was no different. I know not all men are that way and my mates have been good men. I just see far more of the negative kind and it pays to be vigilant.

In the dream, my sister was suffering from this emotional energy in our home as all women suffer in our society from the lack of love and attempted victimization from men when they just want something from us and are not interested in reciprocation on a mature level; meaning spiritually and emotionally.

I wrapped my arms so strongly and lovingly around my sister in the dream and took her away from him, that I have never felt that type of enveloping energy come from within me since. To this day, I feel that way about all humans who are preyed on by monstrous energy. It’s mother dragon energy like Dany in Game of Thrones.

dany-drogon

I took her to my home and took care of her. It was a deep, beautiful, nurturing energy that I’d forgotten over the last 10 years because we haven’t really had a relationship. She married a man that, like my father, was a predator but in this case, he was violent as well. My father wasn’t violent. Her husband threatened to kill everyone in my family and she submitted to his power threats as so many women do. When I told my mother years ago that I strongly felt she needed to flee to a safe house and file for divorce my Mom’s response was, “She can’t do that. He’ll kill those children.” More dysfunction.

So I had my sister with me. Then the dream changed and she was walking outside of an apartment building with her things and putting them on the curb. I looked at the street signs and I didn’t know where she was so I couldn’t pick her up and take her to a new place. But the most disturbing part of this was that when I saw her with her friends, she had completely changed. I didn’t know who she was anymore.

That is accurate today. Acquiescing to the abuse of my Dad and then her husband changed her personality and her soul and I didn’t know who she was anymore. It was a wrenching dream and one for which I had genuine tears. Add to that that I am not allowed a relationship with my three nieces and nephews because of it.

I was going to call my Mom and talk to her but synchronistically realized when I woke up that my Mom and her mate were out there visiting them. Now, what was this about? I knew my Mom would call me and she did, that same day, and I knew something was wrong. I answered her call and before she could tell me anything I told her my dream and she said, “Well, that’s spot on because here is what’s happening.”

The short of it is, I had picked up on my younger sister pulling on me spiritually and emotionally for real because she was going through the wringer. I even called her yesterday to let her know I was there for her. I haven’t heard from her and don’t imagine I will. As in my dream, she cut me off long ago to merge with the dark side of male predation as so many women do instead of claiming their own power to run their lives and stand in the light of personal power. It’s not easy even in 2019.

In 3D, her daughter, my niece, is spilling the beans to my Aunt about some trauma and it’s shaking loose the family dysfunction. I doubt I’ll be much of a part of any of this drama because I let go of all my family drama 25 years ago and have been on a spiritual journey of independent empowerment every since. That’s what happens when you leave behind your family dysfunction, I’m happy to say.

However, I love my sister and the rest of my family and it will never cease to affect me that they continue to let others hurt them instead of loving themselves and then turn around and hurt their own children and the rest of the people around them. Then the karma starts to build up for them. It defines toxic relationships. Sometimes, you have to bless and release so that you can continue to be of service with your own gifts while you have time on the planet. That’s what I’ve done. But I still have these dreams happen over which I have no control. I just live with knowing things pretty much all the time. The truth is good in a world full of lies.

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The Way to a Woman’s ….. is Through Her Heart


 

man-looking-at-checking-out-woman

This is a very enlightening article, but I’m not sure it’s very realistic. It’s ambitious I guess.

Can a Man Be Friends with A Woman He’s Sexually Attracted To?

Over the past thirty years or so, there has been a consistent aspect of men I’ve observed repeatedly. They have the ability to very detached from their feelings or be aware of no feelings at all. They’re able to turn it off and focus on the task at hand, sometimes with cold, hard, logic. The challenge here is that men want to have sex with a very emotional creature; a woman (if you’re straight). If you don’t understand or feel your own feelings what are you going to do? How will you please a woman if you don’t know yourself? Fake it? Lie? We’re told you do that.

You can pride yourself on how detached your heart is from anything or anybody as though there is power in not caring but the opposite is the truth. If you are going to achieve sex/love with a real woman (Not a hook-up which is messed up), you’re going to have to study human feelings and at least understand it and be sensitive to it or she won’t sleep with you unless you’re a very good liar. Sometimes some women aren’t tuned in enough to be able to tell you’re lying. I know that’s what men hope for.

  1. A way to a man’s heart (what women want) is through his stomach (tricky path to his heart).
  2. A way to woman’s nether region (what men want) is through her heart (tricky path to her nether region unless she hates men. If she hates men, she’ll have sex with you immediately and that is very messed up.)

You may want to keep in mind that all women have the heart of;

  1. A young, innocent girl
  2. A teenage flirty girl
  3. An expectant mother
  4. A selfless lover
  5. An A class warrior on the hardest battlefield imaginable
  6. The most heartless dictator you never want to know who is willing to lop heads in the face of too much foolishness and lying

I’m old enough to know that most men are putting on an Oscar performance since observing and mimicking human behavior is easy for anyone. All you have to do is practice a little and most people will believe you. However, most women can see through a man’s actions regarding his sincerity. The problem here is men are mostly confused by human behavior and the body so it’s a double whammy. Women understand both. Yikes!

I recommend you honestly seek to know a few women as friends and understand what you’re looking for in a woman. Once you think you’ve met her, care about who she is as a person. She knows you want to have sex right away but if she’s smart, she won’t. Most women judge that because our whole society puts the wishes of mother and child ahead of men, thus patriarchy which defends men’s natural needs. I don’t. I accept straight guys and don’t wish they were gay.

Keep in mind, during matriarchy, when men were denigrated and women were dominant, no one knew who the fathers of the children were. It was McSex drive-thru; the first hook-ups that drove matriarchy. Women and children lived separately from the men. Someone figured out that it would be a benefit for children to know their fathers OR large numbers of men decided they wanted to know who their children were. THUS, marriage, family, territorialism and the home were born. Women have not totally recovered (haha) because we used to be warriors in charge.

Anyhow, the existence of patriarchy is due to this novel idea of a man living with the woman and children. Males have thus learned about love, nurturing, warmth, ya know, all the squishy estrogen stuff. That means you all DO have the ability to calm down and be kind. So, do that please when you come out of your man cave.

you've got to be kidding me

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…and that’s why there is no attachment


rsz_1sex_workerProfessional sex workers are as important to men as professional therapists, counselors, and psychologists are to women. If relationships mean the world to most women, and they do, then they like therapists who help them navigate the choppy waters. Women are more complex than men. We are also given more freedom to express our emotions in society.

The same goes for men with professional prostitutes. Men are simple. Prostitutes are likely the top women on his list because they’re willing to do whatever he wants and needs to please him with no relationship so he can continue being dedicated to his work and money. Today, at this moment, that could be considered toxic masculinity. I’m really not sure. I’m observing the issue. That’s love and that’s heaven for him, just as relationships are for women.

Yet think about the fact that in American society, sex is not considered loving, is degraded, is ultra natural and is considered to be far below bonding, relationships, and love. Two men, I’ve spoken with absolutely agree that sex can be like defecation to them and that’s fine. No woman I’ve talked to would view sex that way in a million years. Sex is spiritual and emotional for us and it really is toxic for a man to ask us to be any other way. Women that agree to that hate men. But men are supposed to submit to female values which are widely considered to be superior. Are they? Or are these values biased? Are women’s sex values ever toxic? Like, only marrying a man for the child she can give him, the father role he can play, and the money he can provide while she does that? Isn’t she using him?

I have no position on this yet but I am examining the issue because I have very intelligent males friends (more than one), who believe it’s perfectly fine for women to be professional sex workers and treat me like they wish I was one, free of charge, no emotions. I’m not. I’m a human being, a woman with a warm heart, and a professional therapist. But the men in my office treat me like I should be a sex worker, unrelenting. The events in our society seem to be making men even more aggressive than before!professional therapist worker

What’s a good woman with a good heart to do who likes bonding and love? We live in a fallow garden. Our children grow up and move on with their lives. We have to cultivate doing what we love, have our own money and work and our own homes. It is a mistake to trust men or to rely on them for anything if you’re a good hearted woman. Above all, take care of your health. You’re the only one really keeping an eye on things. That’s the reality, only no one wants to admit it.

 

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Famished


Ciron-the-centaurI am so dull at the specter of rapacious male lust that is overfull and never sated.

Colossus centaur in his superhero fantasy, piggish and greedy for huge breasts and a river of pussy.

It’s just food to him…her body. Just…a meal to gratify his insatiate greed…unless he loves her.

He can turn into a freak devil that does the same thing with hollow power…unless he loves her.

Even if she wanted to she couldn’t fill his black hole of need. A surfeit of money, accolade, ambition, and respect is a snack, but he is not yet a muscle-bound giant so the bloody feast must rage on.

He doesn’t know anything divergent, no other way to prevail, so it’s not something to be rabid about. As a male, every single institution has indoctrinated him to dominate and be a consumer who overfills his barbarian, carnivorous soul. He wasn’t born this way, it’s calculated so he can be of maximum use in the machine with very large teeth.

As a woman, every single institution from her birth has taught her that it’s a handicraft to feed his hungry lost soul, that he cannot feed himself, that he needs to be fed by everything she is, can do or possess because he is barren. Is he really barren of love?

The truth is…he has it all because woman indulged him and gave him her vitality. She didn’t have to! She still does long to give him all of her allegiances and not be loved in return. Why? It’s her undoing. It’s calculated so she can be of maximum use in the machine with very large teeth.

He thinks it’s control from her because he feels dependent and hungry, controlled by his edacious body or the cruel vacuum of his mother’s love. And it’s not just the food he needs, its flavor. He’ll even go to another planet to consume what they have, trying to find a novel flavor. Why does she feel sorry for his empty belly that covers an unrequited heart? He has a heart. We know it.

I’m one of the trifling women that knows you have excitability that lasts beyond a hook-up. The thing about me though…is I don’t particularly care. If you don’t want me, I’ll start to forget about you. Out of sight out of mind!

Men are cursed nomads, wandering the earth without love in them or loving anyone outside of themselves until they really…do…let themselves receive the gift of loving a woman that is not his mother! and need to be with her. It’s totally up to him. All a woman does is exist as she is. She has no control over his choice…at all.

A woman is always complete in herself, fed, not famished, all by herself. But a man is not. His insatiable lust and thirst that calls forth our pity really, will never be quenched until he lets himself be with her completely. A woman needs to have compassion on his need and fall into his arms if he is unrelenting. And yes, she is feeding him, once again.

A man is truly healed and made happy by truly loving a woman, not so much by her loving him because she loves all the time! That is her gift to herself. Because she exists…he found her and he learns to love. That is the greatest gift a man can have and then he’s no longer famished.

Lisa T. 1/4/2019

 

 

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Male Sexual Fantasy…that’s how you bond?


 

you've got to be kidding meMore information is hitting me today via my intuition about certain men I know and their behavior. I’ve been trying to figure out how men’s minds work for years now and never gave it much thought when I was younger and had no brothers so now I’m playing catch up. I know you’re more simple than us and I don’t need the lecture that I’m over-thinking.

There are two local men I know (in my town) that I’m sure are in love with me to whom I have zero interest or attraction. I know that sounds harsh, but I’m pretty sure guys are the same way. Some women get your motor running, other’s don’t, even if you “try” to give them a chance. These two men are like a dog with a bone simply based on the fact that several years ago I was nice or warm to both of them. (Please refer to my blog post “Warmth from a woman doesn’t mean she’s attracted to you.”). Also, the attraction over social media or the phone is absolutely bizarre to me. You can’t know any truth that way. Again, it’s just for male fantasy gratification and does nothing for the woman. But that doesn’t matter, does it? Just know that if you don’t actually meet a woman, she will drop you like a hot potato fairly quickly.

So, as I was eating my salad and soda crackers just now it hit me. Men’s minds are based on the fantasy of a woman he’s met or has talked to, not fact. Men’s minds form emotional, sexual fantasies based on projection and his own weaving of fantasy that he wants to believe. He also will project his own image via social media and when you meet him, he won’t necessarily look that way. That’s happened to me too. It’s not that we’re biased about the way you look, it’s that you lied and misled us. That’s going to get you in a heap of trouble guys.

I and every woman I know, are very rational about relationships and men. We look for certain hygiene, clothing, behavior, and financial facts, communication that absolutely tell us whether to let our motor run for you or not. We can control all of that. Yes, we do control all of that, like we’re shopping. I’m not saying that smell, pheromones, looks and such aren’t involved because they are at a very primal level. So yes, women say, “God he has a perfect booty.” and get all lusty, or “He’s super sweet and smart” but not the way men do. Every woman is different but it is never based on GQ crap…ever. However, if his tone of voice with us or the way he acts is vile, that fine booty counts for nothing, nada, zip, zero. We fall in love with the person and the potential for bonding, not your body. That’s how our brains work.

Why is that? Because our arousal is based on your vibe, whether you know us or not, whether you want to know us or not, our feelings, our relationship. You’re falling asleep already reading this and because of that, more women are going to be celibate. We can do that too.

graceful-girl-smilingDo you know how easy this face is to fake for women? More women have just given in to a man’s lust who cannot stop staring at and fantasizing about our breasts or pussy and cannot focus or hold a conversation. We’re like, “For god’s sake, listen to me.” No, you can’t listen to us if you’re staring at our lips or crotch and we know it.  and motivation, Millions of women make quite a bit of money taking advantage of men’s lack of sophistication when it comes to human relationship mostly through prostitution. You’ve set yourselves up! Improve your intelligence and this won’t happen.

So, you guys are completely irrational about any prospects of truly arousing us or knowing us or bonding because relationships aren’t even on your radar. Or to be fair, maybe you don’t “have” the radar. I am trying to be fair. I don’t think relationship and understanding female behavior is in your wiring and I’m done being mad about it. It’s simple. We need love, affection, and kindness in addition to sex.

This is tragic for women who then fake orgasm or does whatever we have to do for ourselves to enjoy our bodies because our culture has men completely brainwashed to believe that your penis is everything and all we need. That is SO wrong it isn’t even funny. I’ve been with men of all different “sizes”, body size and all the other pieces and it has not mattered one iota whether I was turned on or not. There are specific things that do matter but that’s for another blog. Every woman is different! And what is worse is there are millions of women out there who have given up and just let the man’s fantasies and his penis focus control her love life believing that you will NEVER be astute enough to get our sexuality and how we love.

I have not given up hope yet, but applying some rational fact and getting a handle on those sexual fantasy feelings will be a big step forward.

I welcome any questions. If you think I’m off on something, feel free to call me out but do so in a civil manner, please. I don’t have all the answers and I know I’m not always right.

 

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Women Attach Through Sex and Men Attach Through Relationship


boy-and-girl-engage-in-yoga-on-the-nature-a-man-and-a-woman-meditating-in-the-mountains-people-relax-at-sunset_hkmosmfrx_thumbnail-full01

My intuition did a whammy on me last week and I sat on this for that long.

“Women attach through sex/physical attention and men attach through relationship/emotional attention! Ironic isn’t it.“

You probably read that title and said, “Ok, we know that about women but men?” No one talks about men getting all warm and fuzzy and emotionally attached to a woman just because of her vibe, how she moves or how she talks and walks. It’s in all the songs they sing though. Men pine much more deeply for a woman than a woman will ever pine for a man and they’ve told me that they have an issue with that! Women, on the other hand, tell me how imperfect a man has been, how she’s rejected him and that he screwed up. The men I know NEVER tell me that about a woman. The men are adoring of their mate. Think about it. Men are far more rejected than we are.

Men are very insecure about this state of things and men feel deeply when they fall in love with a woman. The big news for women is, THE REASON THEY FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU IS RARELY, IF EVER, TO DO WITH YOUR OBJECTIVE APPEARANCE OR BEAUTY BY MEDIA STANDARDS. IT HAS TO DO WITH WHO YOU ARE AS A PERSON.

Now I will explain what I figured out via my intuition last week. I’ll start with women. Women, imagine how easy and normal it is for you to talk, commune, flirt, hug, be warm and smiley with all the women you know. We do that so easily with each other, even if we’re strangers. I certainly do. We “do” relationship all the time with other women. Not so much with men and here’s why.

Sex. Men find sex to be easy and natural and if civilization hadn’t pulled a whammy on them and judged them for being so sexy and natural they’d probably have sex all the time. Civilization has curbed men in terms of their nature much more than it has women. I’m not saying men find it easy to have sex with other men naturally but the boys club is real. They manage to bond and do things with each other in other ways like sports and such that make up for not having sex with each other. And sometimes, as we know, they do have sex with each other. But think of that. Being gay is much more acceptable for women than it is for men. Why is that? Civilization is set up so that when a woman has her fondest wish, a child, the man is there to be a father for the child’s sake, or at least society has told him he’s supposed to be. If he’s not, society has plenty of punishments for him.

Back to women; the ease with which we have a relationship and find it fine and natural is the ease with which men find sex with others; women or men fine and natural. It’s superficial! Men find sex superficial and normal just as women find relating to others to be superficial and normal. It’s just part of life. Some are close, some aren’t. Women should know that when men see us relating so easily and happily with other women and men, they get anxious about what we’re up to. They don’t know that it’s superficial for us and we’re just being friendly. I don’t think they’ll admit this though.

For women; put sex in the mix with relating to a man and the woman is pulled off of her center. Not only because our physical energy is super responsive to sex but because it’s always a possibility that we could get pregnant. Sex is a big deal to us on many levels.

Put a relationship in the mix for a man when he’s relating to a woman and he’s pulled off of his center because he doesn’t have much natural skill in it. What men do is tease, tickle, jostle, nudge, compete, get a little jealous and criticize some when he has feelings for a woman that he’s a bit uncomfortable with. Take that as a cue women. He likely has a crush on you. Don’t lead him on if you don’t have a crush on him. If you think he may really care about you and you him, it’s a mistake to rush into sex. The other bonding needs to happen first in my opinion.

What is the remedy here? First, accept that men and women are naturally different from one another and don’t diss and neg on each other saying, “All he wants is sex or all she wants is a relationship.” The OPPOSITE is the truth. Again, I’ve surveyed people in my office for twenty years. Women talk about sex with men and it means a tremendous amount to us to be attended to physically and wanted sexually and to check out the chemistry. Sex will never be superficial to us. A woman who is superficial with sex or playing in the porn arena is up to something that is not good for men. I think it’s selfish on her part. She gets all kinds of sex and gives no care or relationship.

It’s ironic to me that we view men as being so awful to women right now when the fact that the porn industry exists and so many men (and women) are addicted to it shows that there are millions of women out there who hate men, don’t believe they have feelings and don’t care about their feelings or needs. But, it’s taboo for men to express what they need emotionally, isn’t it? Undoing that, women raising their sons to express their feelings and encouraging their daughters to physically love themselves will start to bring gender equity.

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10 Reasons It’s Hard For Smart Women To Find Love


Winter Scenes in MoonlightBy Nicole Timmons

Finding love is not an easy feat for anyone. If you are a woman who is of a higher intellect, chances are you have had an even harder time finding a fulfilling relationship. Society tends to think less of a woman who is single as if there is something inherently wrong with them. This is definitely not the case. Below are 10 reasons why it can be harder for smart women to find love.

1. They aren’t afraid to be by themselves.

Smart women know what they want and aren’t willing to settle for anything less. They know the importance of staying true to themselves and they also realize that sacrificing their needs for the sake of love with the wrong person will only cause resentment in the long run. They do not have to settle out of fear of being alone, or fear of social implications by others’ who do not understand a woman’s ability to be by herself and be happy.

2. They know what they want.

Every woman has a mental “checklist” of what they are looking for in a significant other. A smart woman’s checklist tends to be either longer or more specific than those who want a significant other, just to have a significant other. They know themselves and in turn, know what type of person they can and can’t be with.

3. They don’t need another person to facilitate their lifestyle.

The past portrays that women needed to go straight from their father’s house to their husband’s. In the modern world women no longer need another person to help them live on their own; they may have realized they prefer that alone time. Therefore, knowing that they will eventually have to share that space can be scary for an independent woman.

4. They have other commitments that take priority over dating.

Careers, friendships, family, extra-curricular pursuits, whatever it is that she has going on may not allow for as much time to date as it takes to find the right mate.

5. They are hyper-aware that relationships end and can let their knowledge of the past affect their future potential relationships.

They have a harder time “living in the moment” and do not want to waste their time; as time truly is a valuable asset to a smart woman. They need to know that there is a future and that their potential mate is on the same page.  Marriages, kids, finances, etc.

6. They know that attraction is only half the battle.

Physical attraction is an important aspect of finding love, but smart women understand that attraction is fleeting and can be altered once you see what is underneath.  While a woman’s hormones tend to make the first step towards finding love, smart women understand that it is the intimacy developed (and maintained) by both people that dictate whether or not a relationship can last.

7. They can be intimidating.

When a woman is intelligent she isn’t afraid to stand up and say what she thinks. This is a hard pill for a lot of people to swallow. Whether it’s because they don’t know how to react, or if it’s because they don’t feel they can live up to her expectations; either way, it can be somewhat intimidating for potential lovers and even friends.

8. They understand Change.

They don’t pretend that they, and their partners, will be the same person years down the road. They want to grow and they have ambitions for their futures that will change who they are, and ultimately, what they want. Knowing this makes it harder for a woman to commit to a partner for a long period of time.

9. They have a vast understanding of modern dating practices and don’t necessarily like, nor agree, with them.

Dating is no longer a means of survival for women. As stated before, since we no longer need to be passed from father to husband as well as we have the capability to live alone – dating is truly meant to find a companion whom you love and want to share your life, interests, and future with.

10. They know not to trust their hearts with just anyone.

This reason is the culmination of all of the ways it is harder for smart women to find love. Deciding whether someone is worthy of an intelligent woman’s heart is not an easy task and we do not take it lightly. Intelligent women have to weigh the pro’s and con’s and decide if the risk of loving another person is worth the devastation that can occur if it doesn’t work out.

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Rational Passion


red serpent rising

 

What is passion?

The Urban dictionary says,

“Passion is when you put more energy into something than is required to do it. It is more than just enthusiasm or excitement, passion is an ambition that is materialized into action to put as much heart, mind-body, and soul into something as possible.”

The less precise but widely held definition is;

“strong and barely controllable emotion.”

That one is inaccurate and projected onto women more than men. I don’t believe women are more emotional than men. I believe estrogen and testosterone make men and women equally emotional, just in different ways. Think about it. Women and men both go off the rails emotionally due to hormone imbalance; women the estrogen, men with testosterone! Those hormones align with physical workout by the way.

The reason for this definition still being popular is that humans are still most strongly motivated by lust and desire for sex and food. We are still at a basic primate level developmentally as far as our brains. It’s easy to see proof of that in our society. Sex, food, and money are the basic things humans want or all they want and those lusts control all of our institutions, politics, and families. If you look at most posts on social media, those three are the basic motivations.

But the first accurate definition is beyond emotion; it contains rational thinking, observation, decision making and taking action to materialize the passion. Most important, it requires patience and determination. It requires intelligence, vision, and choice. It ends up being a desire to serve and give back as well. It’s generous.

I want to point out that going this route does not make someone “better” than others, worthy of jealousy, derision, and offloading. It means they are willing to take what they’ve been given and work hard to apply themselves to the task they’ve chosen while others are not. They are good examples and deserve respect. I’m not always willing to do it though, only sometimes. It is the utter sign of laziness when others offload, use, and are jealous of someone who is likely equal to them in gifts and ability but is not willing to pay the price to do what the other one is doing! But boy do they swear that they love you. Love is actions, not words. Love is not rhetoric.

I am a passionate person, but because I’m all about transcending my subconscious programming from my family in order to become a conscious adult, I’ve developed my rational mind to a great extent to subdue the subconscious voice that is too emotional and dramatic,  addicted to secure habits and harps on the past. My motivation is to help add to the possibility of species survival as opposed to extinction, of which seemingly, we are on the precipice.

Why else would a majority of Americans elect the most self-serving, racist, greedy, destructive man possible to be the President of the U.S., allow pedophile churchman to continue to be the leaders of the Christian Church, allow science to be run not by the scientific method and rational facts but money and misogyny? Women will never be allowed into any of those institutions.

All of the behaviors in those institutions reminds them of the values of their family growing up, the subconscious mind; addiction, alcoholism, capitalist greed and ambition, ego, submission or abuse of their mother and then likely her abuse of them, incest, sexual avarice, and the hypocrisy of covering it all with regular church attendance and tithing. It sounds like a bipartisan congressional picnic to me. Is anyone really good? I don’t care about anyone’s details that would print in the National Enquirer. I’m not a judge or confessor nor will I accept name-calling or offloading because I know the truth.

It continues to entertain me to see the level of shock and dismay about Trump, as though anything he does or any motivation he has isn’t predictable if you’ve been paying attention for a NY minute. He was elected by his American children in certain demographic groups who admire his deviant, greedy, destructive behavior. They love how evil he is because then it gives them license to behave badly. They want him to burn the “house” down because it represents their hypocritical, unhappy, racist, alcoholic childhoods. Maybe their mothers were not only unhappy but also sexually abused them. There are a lot of messed up women out there but it’s taboo for men to rat on women or their mothers. Everything is blamed on the men don’t ya know. Otherwise, they’re called “pussies”. Some women really leverage that fear in men and are very abusive.

If you haven’t figured it out by now, in the collective house, the Democrats are the mom and the Republicans are the dad. The citizens are the children. This thing can’t turn out well…unless the Republican party uplevels to become a worthy opponent to the Democrats like they used to be.

I’m not better than anyone, as my mother accused me of believing about myself at Thanksgiving, but I am very psychic, can see the truth about people, have a real heart for humans, and deeply want to see our species survive extinction. I have a big vision that I’m not willing to hand over to small visions, petty jealousies, and lazy, irrational minds that don’t remember where they came from. We all have the capacity to be better and do better. I hold myself to that more than anyone else so there is nothing hurtful you can say to me that I don’t already say to myself.

I’ll just keep working and taking care of myself.