I Had a Breakneck Dream About My Little Sister


me and my sisters

That’s me on the left. My little sister is on the far right. Don’t ya love our Keds? Of course, she’s not little anymore she’s just my younger sister. But I always felt very protective of her and we did everything together as little kids so I still think of her as little. She was a sweetpea as a child and I loved her. I still love her.

I’ve blogged on this before, but part of being intuitive and respecting your intuition means paying attention to your dreams, remembering them, deciphering them, and realizing that sometimes, they’re real and prescient. Not all dreams feel real. Some are just cleansing of the unconscious mind to free it up for new movement when you wake up.

This dream was real and was a whammy. I dreamt that I was in an ethereal house with my sister and my Dad and he was being his typical good ole’ boy midwestern religious self, pretty much the same energy that every woman still runs into with men these days. Honestly, he was no different. He was inappropriate and a user; in other words, abusive which is normal for how men treat women. Women like to be in denial about the nature of males all the time and I refuse to be. Many are far past compliant in order to stay alive! Most are our predators, lock, stock, and barrel. They are not givers, they are takers and want sex, food, and respect, not necessarily in that order. My father was no different. I know not all men are that way and my mates have been good men. I just see far more of the negative kind and it pays to be vigilant.

In the dream, my sister was suffering from this emotional energy in our home as all women suffer in our society from the lack of love and attempted victimization from men when they just want something from us and are not interested in reciprocation on a mature level; meaning spiritually and emotionally.

I wrapped my arms so strongly and lovingly around my sister in the dream and took her away from him, that I have never felt that type of enveloping energy come from within me since. To this day, I feel that way about all humans who are preyed on by monstrous energy. It’s mother dragon energy like Dany in Game of Thrones.

dany-drogon

I took her to my home and took care of her. It was a deep, beautiful, nurturing energy that I’d forgotten over the last 10 years because we haven’t really had a relationship. She married a man that, like my father, was a predator but in this case, he was violent as well. My father wasn’t violent. Her husband threatened to kill everyone in my family and she submitted to his power threats as so many women do. When I told my mother years ago that I strongly felt she needed to flee to a safe house and file for divorce my Mom’s response was, “She can’t do that. He’ll kill those children.” More dysfunction.

So I had my sister with me. Then the dream changed and she was walking outside of an apartment building with her things and putting them on the curb. I looked at the street signs and I didn’t know where she was so I couldn’t pick her up and take her to a new place. But the most disturbing part of this was that when I saw her with her friends, she had completely changed. I didn’t know who she was anymore.

That is accurate today. Acquiescing to the abuse of my Dad and then her husband changed her personality and her soul and I didn’t know who she was anymore. It was a wrenching dream and one for which I had genuine tears. Add to that that I am not allowed a relationship with my three nieces and nephews because of it.

I was going to call my Mom and talk to her but synchronistically realized when I woke up that my Mom and her mate were out there visiting them. Now, what was this about? I knew my Mom would call me and she did, that same day, and I knew something was wrong. I answered her call and before she could tell me anything I told her my dream and she said, “Well, that’s spot on because here is what’s happening.”

The short of it is, I had picked up on my younger sister pulling on me spiritually and emotionally for real because she was going through the wringer. I even called her yesterday to let her know I was there for her. I haven’t heard from her and don’t imagine I will. As in my dream, she cut me off long ago to merge with the dark side of male predation as so many women do instead of claiming their own power to run their lives and stand in the light of personal power. It’s not easy even in 2019.

In 3D, her daughter, my niece, is spilling the beans to my Aunt about some trauma and it’s shaking loose the family dysfunction. I doubt I’ll be much of a part of any of this drama because I let go of all my family drama 25 years ago and have been on a spiritual journey of independent empowerment every since. That’s what happens when you leave behind your family dysfunction, I’m happy to say.

However, I love my sister and the rest of my family and it will never cease to affect me that they continue to let others hurt them instead of loving themselves and then turn around and hurt their own children and the rest of the people around them. Then the karma starts to build up for them. It defines toxic relationships. Sometimes, you have to bless and release so that you can continue to be of service with your own gifts while you have time on the planet. That’s what I’ve done. But I still have these dreams happen over which I have no control. I just live with knowing things pretty much all the time. The truth is good in a world full of lies.

Advertisements

Rational Passion


red serpent rising

 

What is passion?

The Urban dictionary says,

“Passion is when you put more energy into something than is required to do it. It is more than just enthusiasm or excitement, passion is an ambition that is materialized into action to put as much heart, mind-body, and soul into something as possible.”

The less precise but widely held definition is;

“strong and barely controllable emotion.”

That one is inaccurate and projected onto women more than men. I don’t believe women are more emotional than men. I believe estrogen and testosterone make men and women equally emotional, just in different ways. Think about it. Women and men both go off the rails emotionally due to hormone imbalance; women the estrogen, men with testosterone! Those hormones align with physical workout by the way.

The reason for this definition still being popular is that humans are still most strongly motivated by lust and desire for sex and food. We are still at a basic primate level developmentally as far as our brains. It’s easy to see proof of that in our society. Sex, food, and money are the basic things humans want or all they want and those lusts control all of our institutions, politics, and families. If you look at most posts on social media, those three are the basic motivations.

But the first accurate definition is beyond emotion; it contains rational thinking, observation, decision making and taking action to materialize the passion. Most important, it requires patience and determination. It requires intelligence, vision, and choice. It ends up being a desire to serve and give back as well. It’s generous.

I want to point out that going this route does not make someone “better” than others, worthy of jealousy, derision, and offloading. It means they are willing to take what they’ve been given and work hard to apply themselves to the task they’ve chosen while others are not. They are good examples and deserve respect. I’m not always willing to do it though, only sometimes. It is the utter sign of laziness when others offload, use, and are jealous of someone who is likely equal to them in gifts and ability but is not willing to pay the price to do what the other one is doing! But boy do they swear that they love you. Love is actions, not words. Love is not rhetoric.

I am a passionate person, but because I’m all about transcending my subconscious programming from my family in order to become a conscious adult, I’ve developed my rational mind to a great extent to subdue the subconscious voice that is too emotional and dramatic,  addicted to secure habits and harps on the past. My motivation is to help add to the possibility of species survival as opposed to extinction, of which seemingly, we are on the precipice.

Why else would a majority of Americans elect the most self-serving, racist, greedy, destructive man possible to be the President of the U.S., allow pedophile churchman to continue to be the leaders of the Christian Church, allow science to be run not by the scientific method and rational facts but money and misogyny? Women will never be allowed into any of those institutions.

All of the behaviors in those institutions reminds them of the values of their family growing up, the subconscious mind; addiction, alcoholism, capitalist greed and ambition, ego, submission or abuse of their mother and then likely her abuse of them, incest, sexual avarice, and the hypocrisy of covering it all with regular church attendance and tithing. It sounds like a bipartisan congressional picnic to me. Is anyone really good? I don’t care about anyone’s details that would print in the National Enquirer. I’m not a judge or confessor nor will I accept name-calling or offloading because I know the truth.

It continues to entertain me to see the level of shock and dismay about Trump, as though anything he does or any motivation he has isn’t predictable if you’ve been paying attention for a NY minute. He was elected by his American children in certain demographic groups who admire his deviant, greedy, destructive behavior. They love how evil he is because then it gives them license to behave badly. They want him to burn the “house” down because it represents their hypocritical, unhappy, racist, alcoholic childhoods. Maybe their mothers were not only unhappy but also sexually abused them. There are a lot of messed up women out there but it’s taboo for men to rat on women or their mothers. Everything is blamed on the men don’t ya know. Otherwise, they’re called “pussies”. Some women really leverage that fear in men and are very abusive.

If you haven’t figured it out by now, in the collective house, the Democrats are the mom and the Republicans are the dad. The citizens are the children. This thing can’t turn out well…unless the Republican party uplevels to become a worthy opponent to the Democrats like they used to be.

I’m not better than anyone, as my mother accused me of believing about myself at Thanksgiving, but I am very psychic, can see the truth about people, have a real heart for humans, and deeply want to see our species survive extinction. I have a big vision that I’m not willing to hand over to small visions, petty jealousies, and lazy, irrational minds that don’t remember where they came from. We all have the capacity to be better and do better. I hold myself to that more than anyone else so there is nothing hurtful you can say to me that I don’t already say to myself.

I’ll just keep working and taking care of myself.

Why Do People Hate Smart Women?


Marilyn Vos Savant

This is Marilyn vos Savant. She has the highest IQ of any woman in the world…that has been measured.

This is a great article!

Why Do People Hate Smart Women?

The quick answer is jealousy which comes from women and men who resent or feel threatened by a very articulate person if they are not. It seems to me that no matter how good of a job I do or how nice I am, and I am, I’m railed on at some point by those who don’t understand me. Humans are really something. Especially the name-calling and commanding tone when they have no right, whatsoever, to start it up. Primates.

This issue is really floating on the collective society’s surface right now and showed it’s face to me two days ago. I’ve been aware of and dealing with this issue my entire life and have a pretty good coping mechanism in place so that I never feel victimized or lonely.

However, this week, the face of this thing is morphing. I’m seeing it turning around and bouncing off of the white culture (female and male) and the brown cultures (Mexican and East Indian) and the black cultures. I have friends from all of these cultures so that’s why I’m seeing and hearing it.
The Mother

Men who have been traumatized by a very frustrated mother who turned bitchy or abusive in the home have suffered the most. But I have to say, your mother made you. You wouldn’t be here or have a body no matter what her behavior was once you came out if she hadn’t done her thing. That is enough for gratitude and respect. Does every mother have karma for how she treats her children? Inescapably yes. But men should not let that ruin their minds or their relationships with women. It has though.

However, white men and women don’t see it that way. They hold a grudge, believing that they are in a privileged position in society and should always be treated well, especially by their parents. Personally, my parents were very WASP’y so I was treated well. They never lifted a finger to me and very rarely screamed at me.

The black and brown men I know absolutely respect their mothers and forgive them their wrongs. What black and brown women go through is ten times greater than that of white women but ultimately, all women are pretty much in the same caste system with the brown and black men. We’re at the same social level below white men. White women try to get a leg up in the caste system by mating and marrying white men even though we generally don’t prefer them. This is from my informal surveys of women in my office for twenty years. White men have a sense of entitlement as far as how they’re supposed to be treated. I can absolutely say that the brown men I’ve known, in no way, have that going on and I hope to be on an equal social footing with my mate in the last half of my life.

I can tell by the way brown and black men talk about their mothers and what they do for them that they love and respect their mothers and grandmothers. They don’t always agree or like them but who does? There is no comparison to the way my two white mates spoke about their mothers; with complete derision, calling them stupid and ignorant and saying they wish they’d been adopted.

The hatred of women is coming from the misogynistic white male culture. They especially hate white women. Again, being white, I feel it harks back to the very dysfunctional way that relationships are formed in the white culture; based on ownership, things, money, and property.

That’s all I have on this one. The article really says it all and it ripped me to shreds accepting this issue. Please read it. I’ll have to get back to you on this. It’s pretty much an open wound.

Curtains


curtains at Moms

I was just visiting my Mom last week for Thanksgiving and was excited to see her new house. She has an extra room where I slept for three days.

I walked in…and the curtains on the windows were exactly the same print as the curtains on the front windows of my Twin Flame’s house in California. As you may recall I visited there two months ago, meeting him for the first time. We just hung out. I even remember photographically etching the pattern in my mind as though something was unconsciously telling me to remember the pattern. I specifically “noted” his curtains.

I was aghast and told my Mom as she helped me bring my things in. She said, “That’s impossible. I just picked those up at a garage sale at the old place where I used to live.”

“Mom, it’s the same pattern. Oh my gosh.” What is the meaning of that?

curtains 2 at Mom's

When you’ve met your Twin Flame, all kinds of crazy synchronicities happen to stimulate the release of your self-identification with the subconscious mind. As I’ve said on here before, the subconscious is our GPS system given to us by our birth family, imprinted irrevocably on our minds by our mother between in utero to about age six.

Ok, so, this is my Mother’s room! She picked out the curtains. I guess the question is, who picked out the curtains on the front windows of his house?

The talking to I got from my spiritual guidance team yesterday was, “The two of you have work to do and need to get cracking! Move your vibe to warmth, faith, and love and release fear, the past, and negativity!” I’m stubborn-seriously- and fairly cynical about this planet so they have a hard time with me. Especially with regard to men, I know I really need to get over it. My readers may agree.

That is what meeting your Twin Flame is about. Your male and female selves become ONE and there is no more subconscious conflict. You both are individuated adults, no longer sitting in emotional choices programmed by your mother. It’s not for everyone but if you have been called to the Twin Flame journey there are major revelations about who you are and who you are not.

When I finally realize that my mother’s projections onto me do not define who I am, it’s “curtains” for my subconscious mind and hopefully that of my twin flame as well. Then we can be together without fear or resistance but love instead. A reminder here; Twin Flame relationships are spiritual and don’t necessarily translate into living in partnership or romance. Many times the mirroring is a bit too intense for the physical dimension. We’ll see.

 

 

 

Men and Sex. Not the Same as Women! Polyamory vs. Celibacy


The male animal has been domesticated and it’s not all pretty. I think of that right-wing show I can’t stand, “Last Man Standing” with Tim Allan as the star. I am at a unique vantage point right now on this issue as a single, 55-year-old, financially independent woman.

The societal Disney pictures are that I’m supposed to have kids in college or graduated and grandchildren on the way in a loveless and sexless marriage going to church every Sunday in order to be respected and to be “an honest woman”. That is not the case here and I’m happy about it. I live my life in truth.

The societal Disney picture proscribed onto a 55-year-old man is pretty much the same but it’s far more likely that he is living a double life and is having sex on the side to add some novelty to his life. One life on one coast, one life on the other coast. Women don’t really have to do that and it isn’t fair is it? But we don’t need sexual novelty as a rule either. We just need love and security. We find real love through our children and grandchildren. I hear there is nothing better. Our mates have never been a terribly adequate source of love, let’s face it. Over time, we get tired of each other’s issues and the stats bear me out.

Women happily and independently move on and grow, usually living alone. The men are still dependent, stuck in this situation with nothing, having evolved with a brain that seeks more than one mate for reproduction. They are on the prowl again. There is an option for men; polyamory. This is a good article on it and explains reasons and motivations that have been studied.

Why People Choose Polyamory

I suppose some women like polyamory but I don’t think it comes naturally to us. Personally, if I can’t find the right partner that suits me emotionally and spiritually I remain celibate. I’ve done that for years at a time but never more than two. That sits very comfortably with me because I love deeply and never deny my feelings to suit men that are detached emotionally from sex.  So really, polyamory and celibacy are related in that, if you can’t find the right partner you do what you have to do; whatever you need. But we have to admit that love is a magnet for men and for women. When someone finally loves and understands you, you’ll go to the end of the world to be with them.

If women have emotional issues, we know how to deal with them, grow, and decide what we want; a new mate or remain single. Then we do whatever we want. If you take care of yourself, there are a million men who will chase you. You just have to pick one. But for friends or family who choose polyamory, this is a good article on the possible motivations so you can understand it better rather than judge it.

This particular quote really rang true to me.

“Polyamory can effectively skirt the need to face an addiction and the painful feelings it covers. However, polyamory can also be utilized as a healthy means of coping with psychological difficulties, pre-existing trauma, differences in sexual desire, and the garden variety erotic boredom so common in long-term monogamous marriages.”

I see so many clients with painful feelings that have not come to the surface and then it resides in their bodies. That directly affects their ability to bond and love a mate and have great sex. This is just one of the reasons for polyamory. And of course, the basis of that is the parents and time in utero, and the early childhood that formed the subconscious mind; especially the mother. I have compassion for men that were born to very wounded, unstable mothers. They don’t have much feminine principle strength within them to pull from. Girls of wounded mothers do; themselves. It’s a blessing to be born female, no matter what the Chinese think. The inner mother is our greatest guide and support on this planet.

For men, I can only hope that they find a female friend that loves and nurtures them just as they are so they can learn to love their body, take care of themselves and be empowered men. Women have no excuse. We are the strong ones on the planet hands down. It is our responsibility to lead, take care of ourselves and to teach healing by being a good example.