my experience working in the Catholic church


“The Ryan Commission published its 2,600-page report in 2009. Despite government inspections and supervision, Catholic clergy had, across decades, violently tormented thousands of children. The report found that children held in orphanages and reformatory schools were treated no better than slaves—in some cases, sex slaves. Rape and molestation of boys were “endemic.” “

Abolish The Priesthood

My book “Healer” documents my experience with a priest that I worked with in 2009-2010 to add to the pile of testimonials. Priests harass women too.

Here is an excerpt from my book, page 210-211. This is the section where I outlined how the priest I worked for was hitting on me and the other women in the parish so I filed a report to the Grand Rapids Diocese and resigned. I tried to get a lawyer to take my case and no one would touch it.

I rattled his cage the day he fired me with an e-mail letting him know that he was not in control of the whole thing. The content of my e-mail was this:

Nothing that you’ve done or the diocese has done to me is “in Christ.” Don’t ever use his sacred name in communicating with me again. You are all a sham and a fraud; in critical need of a heart transplant if you even have one. My heart has been ripped out because I actually loved my musicians and my kids (choir) and they loved me. For the fact that I feel my constant connection to people, I am grateful. You have no power over that. In fact, you have little if any power over anything. I don’t want you or your secretary to touch my things. I want your receptionist to get them (I e-mailed her) and (my friend who I named) to bring it to me. That is what is to be done.”

He was not able to do Mass the next weekend after he let me go. Another liturgical musician in the area who I talked to on the phone said, “Whatever you said rattled his cage.” Good! He was voluntarily in a cage. I’d like to shake it some more and throw away the key.

I was free. I did not take this lying down—literally. I find it unbelievable that men in high places continue to get away with their behavior toward women and children. The universe has my back and the back of every woman and child who has been taken advantage of by repressed men working in institutions and the hierarchies that shore them up. The repressed sexual urges that come to the surface prove that institutions organized by people will never usurp the power of Nature! The Church has long gone against the proclivities of The Earth and women, and it will not stand. We need to be equal in power in the home, in the church, in government, in all human institutions or those institutions can cease to exist! That’s fine too. I know many women abuse their power as well, but because most men have more physical power than women, are shored up by the patriarchal boys’ club, and have a harder time controlling their mind and body, it’s an issue.

At the end of this debacle, my marriage and career were in shambles, and I had nothing to lose, as usual. It was time for me to be true to myself and open the holistic clinic that I had always dreamed of. But it would take some doing and some time. I had time now.

Part way into this, while I was planning my holistic clinic, I got a  call from another priest from a parish south of Grand Rapids that was somewhat hip. I knew this fellow a bit, thought him to be decent, and I knew I could work with him. He called me and asked me to come and interview for this full-time parish position. It was an enormous church, and the salary would have been excellent. I was certainly qualified for it.

My heart was not in it. I was still angry and had not forgiven anyone nor had anyone asked me for forgiveness. I had lost complete faith or inspiration in anything Catholic or Christian and trusted none of it. Also, I had talked to a few liturgical musicians in Grand Rapids who agreed about the atmosphere for women in the Church. They understood. The priest on the phone was disappointed and tried to talk me into forgiving the situation.

Of course, he did not know the details, as far as I am aware, although the particular priest I had worked with had a reputation in the diocese. I wasn’t sure what it was, but I knew he was not held in high regard.

I did not want to work with the Church after all of this. Also, I could not commit to working fifty-sixty hours a week at this large parish, knowing I would be a single mother and have to raise my son by myself because my fallen away Catholic ex-husband was not pulling his weight.

I do believe someone at Aquinas had my back and recommended me for that position, and for that I’m grateful. I just do not support the dogma or policies of the Catholic Church at all. Not only that, I feel the United Nations should shut the Vatican down as an illegal organization. Note that I am not saying Catholic churches should be closed. I love the Catholic laity. The hierarchy is the problem, not the people. The hierarchy harbors pedophiles and predators, and it puts a stamp of approval on abuse of women and does not condone birth control which is terrible for women.

It is an outrage. I wish the parishes would become independent and find their own priests, which would include women leaders.

 

 

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“I Forgive You”


 

Grudge

“You need to forgive your parents no matter what or you won’t be free. You’ll become enmeshed and then will think about them and talk about them too much to the point of not living within your own body and soul. It could even turn to blame which is handing them power over your life.”-Lisa T.

The word forgive is two words; for and give. So, you give before you’re asked when you forgive. The people who give before they’re asked are in loving relationships. Some religions teach that the Universe gives to us before we even have to ask because of Love. I’m not suggesting we will be or should always be in loving relationships but we could try and tip the scales in their favor.

In terms of intuition, we’re focused on the heart as an organ. We’ve all had a broken heart and it literally is a closing of the heart chakra which affects the heart as an organ. When the heart closes the mind starts to go out of commission and we have all kinds of mental illness manifesting.

The deepest heart scars are memories of child abuse toward us by our parents before we even knew what anything was. This can come in many forms but they are deep wounds given to us by people we relied on for everything. Child abuse is most definitely part of the human condition and human history. It’s nothing unusual at all even though some people would like to portray a romantic fantasy about it not existing. Incest is very common as well, more than we know I’m afraid. It is still taboo and not talked about widely yet.

Given all of that as adults, the first people we need to forgive are our earthly parents who always made mistakes like all of us do. But maybe they were outright bad people! That doesn’t mean you have to be as their child. Learning how to forgive is part of that. If the task of forgiveness hasn’t been achieved, there is not much chance at all for successful bonding with new people as an adult.

Wounded adults who have not forgiven use all kinds of excuses for avoiding intimacy. A common one is they make sure they have more power in a relationship than the other person. If you warn them ahead of time and make sure you’re so powerful emotionally that you hurt the opposite gender first that’s one of their tricks. Another trick is faking appeal to another person’s desire for you and pretending you desire them just to get superficial sex out of them the way you want it…at a distance. Then tell them they’re so hot that you hope they’ll never let the ship sail, then reject them first, sail the ship yourself, and see if they’ll go away or hope they’ll go away. These are games of a weak, wounded person. And they never tell the truth.

 

Not only that, they do not care about what you want or need and make it obvious by playing games. But they will keep telling you what a great person you are appealing to your ego until they want to teach you a lesson and stomp on you. It’s best to extricate yourself before then which means they don’t have you by the ego. All of this is a waste of time and they can’t really draw you in if you are grounded in your center. Simply cut them off and figure out how they got your attention so it doesn’t happen again. The usual lure is lust, at least it is for me. Just keep track of not so much what they say but what they do.

All I know is it’s a turn-off and I’m staying away. These are very manipulative people that had to learn to manipulate adults to survive and to get their way as children. They need a lot of therapy and they have not forgiven their faulty parents! This is what a lack of forgiveness does to the mind. So their cleverness is fully engaged in survival, profit, cynical, and not the least bit interested in reciprocity or love with the opposite sex. It could even turn to narcissism and likely does.

You might want to do some self-inventory and make sure your motivation for work and action in life is detached. Otherwise, you need to do some more forgiveness. Review those types of Platonic Love I posted about and decide that you’re not going to participate with others who are not loving. It may mean celibacy and not as much of a social life but it’s worth it for your health of body and mind.