Wednesday. Self-create or React? Act or RE Act?


RE-acting is mimicry. Monkeys and parrots mimic. Humans also mimic unless they are mentally mature. Babies learn by mimicking but adults learn by creating. Humans are addicted to mimicry because of a lazy streak usually due to unresolved childhood issues. They’re still grieving parenting they didn’t get. That ship has sailed. You can parent yourself with the help of the universe and rival your parents. Don’t you want to win? I want my son to win over any mistakes his father and I made. Self-Creating, self-generating (Blue Storm tribe), Acting is all ART and comes from your Magic Nation or imagination.

Think of these two as a teeter tooter where you are deciding whether to go one route or another. In this case, are you going to DIY and send up a plan in your mind or are you going to continue your normal REACTIVE route where first you have to pull in something from outside of you such as another’s idea, T.V. , Twitter or Instagram and react to it, or are you going to sit quiet or workout, meditate, listen to your body and intuition and create your own plan from within yourself?

We are each at the precipice right now. Tone 2 is stabilizing by polarizing. It’s a simple choice; Self create, or React? Self create or React? The first one is INtegrity the second one is wash, rinse, repeat for your entire life and wastes everyone’s time and resources and nothing original is added to the planet.

Self-creating and acting involves:

  • Body care-organizing fresh food
  • Physical Activity
  • T.V. OFF
  • Water intake
  • Hand held device-limited
  • Organizing your money and bills
  • Meditation up to an hour a day
  • Boundaries with people who vampire your energy
  • No large group activities right now. Stay away

All of that is stabilizing. Stabilize yourself and don’t look outside of yourself to get someone or something to do it for you. Your MIND, your BRAIN is a magnet that turns your body into a magnet. It’s literal. The media is trying to program your mind to give your authority and magnetism over to them. Don’t let them in. Our immune systems, bodies, and minds are the province of US and the Universe has our backs. Freedom and balance are universal law. We are supposed to be evolving in freedom and balance otherwise we’ll be programmed to go over the cliff. That gets rid of the weak-minded ones. They obey.

5GForce: Yellow 12 Sun; I dedicate in order to enlighten. Universalizing Life, I seal the matrix of universal fire with the crystal tone of cooperation. I am guided by the power of free will.

SCIENCE STUFF

Yellow 2 Sun Themeplex

  • THEME; Yellow 2 Sun is the Stop Codon
  • ANALOG: Blue 2 Storm or Tryptophan
  • GUIDE POWER; Yellow 2 Human or Glutamic Acid has the extra carbon-hydrogen molecule which humans needed to evolve once we were on the planet
  • HIDDEN WISDOM: Red 12 Cysteine or Red Dragon. Notice the Sulfur molecule in Red Dragon. The Earth began in sulfur and Red Dragon is the first tribe.

Essay; Sexual Shaming of Men


 

man-in-doubt

I’ve been thinking about this issue for about a year now but it coalesced last night when I read a quite long, but well-thought-out blog post on this site that made light of how many women absorb shame from men when we have sex with them. Before that, we’re fine, happy with ourselves, like being a woman, and like our bodies. I think women are getting better at accepting our bodies as they are and the media is helping with that. I know I am. There are more women of all different sizes on T.V. and in all media. The SIZE SHAMING, no matter what size, has decreased. More women understand that it’s more important for us to love ourselves than to please a man.

But, reading her blog, I immediately related to the experience of being mystified as to why a man I was with would turn pornographic in his tone, talked about how hot I was, did the sweetie, beautiful “speak” and then wanted to get sexually nasty as opposed to sensuous and intimate. My assumption is it’s the testosterone and most women consider it normal. The last lover I had said, “Why do you have to be so seductive?” “Me? Seductive?” I’m a chipmunk! What was he talking about? I don’t think he was seeing who I was; he was seeing who he wanted and needed to see. He was projecting. Women are individuals not porn stars and it’s objectifying to treat us like we’re part of your MENTAL fantasy, not a person in front of you. But again, I’m not sure men can help it because of the shame they’re socialized with. Their minds are all cluttered up with objectifying materialism which makes them feel better. Their feelings are stimulated by things; women’s bodies, food, cars, houses, boats, and on and on. I’m not sure women understand this.

How much does that happen? Probably all the time. It’s men’s fantasy need of having a car or motorcycle that reminds them of a childhood toy that they loved. Then they imagined they were a superhero on that vehicle and some adult males still do it. They get a life-sized one and keep the fantasy going. It’s objectification that transfers over to sex with a woman. I suppose this underlies the barely clad woman advertising a car that is so nauseating to us.

It’s something to keep in mind that men probably watch a tremendous amount of porn because they can’t express their sexual feelings as much as they need to or the way they want to in our civilization that shames it. Most men are not relational, not romantic and don’t want to be yet many women need that to be turned on! If he acquiesced, he would be too much like a woman and he’s not a woman, he’s a man, which means he’s a part wild animal, part human. Not all men are of course but most of them are. It’s scary for some women like me when they turn wild animal. I guess other women like it.

I think that men project a lot onto women, as though it’s our issue, about how turned on they are by feeling ashamed, nasty, or mean. OR…is shame projected on to them from all sides FOR BEING male as though they are expected to be like that even if they are not? The writer I read didn’t say that in her blog or maybe she doesn’t understand it.  I think men get turned on by feeling repulsed. They’re attracted to women and things that are not nice and that are uncivilized and wild. It’s all that testosterone blasting through their brains that blows everything up. It’s the opposite of most women. I know some women are attracted to pain and ugliness, like a sadistic thing but it’s not terribly common. Still, I’m not judging it. Nevertheless, I am not that way.

It appears to me that everything in our civilization exists as it is to control men’s sexual nature and make things peaceable for women and children. Before, most of the time it was working. NOW, society seems to be tearing itself apart because men’s sexual nature is finally coming to the surface, there is more awareness of abuse of women and children, guns are everywhere which men love (you don’t see women using them in public much), we see incest, pedophilia, and sex trafficking at the highest levels of institutions, all the lies, and control about it are coming forward, the institutions don’t know exactly how to lie about it anymore. Men are victims of the system too otherwise they wouldn’t be victimizing those more vulnerable than them. It’s a trickle-down from the women and men in power who hold the system in place.

Civilization uses guilt, shame, control, incarceration, blaming women, sports, and the media all to LIE about men’s sexual nature. I guess we’re still working on a balance to our civilization as though it’s progressed from being in the wild. Sometimes I think it’s worse because it represses the true feelings and then they explode to the surface.

 

 

Heartset; Social Media Shows Our Veneer


foggy-autumn

The veneer on a piece of furniture can appear in many ways.  It can be layers of paint, different color of stain, all of it possibly peeling.  There can even be gashes and dent to the wood underneath.

The wood underneath is the truth and it’s rarely seen. It’s the heart of the matter and how the piece of furniture looked at its founding; it’s construction done by the carpenter’s hand.  I love watching it progress, drinking in the smell of the wood.

When I look at any piece of furniture that has been stained or painted, I always wonder what the grain of the wood looks like underneath and what type of wood it is.  Then I wonder who built it, the year it was built and for whom.

All of our social media; Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, on and on, show only the veneer of humans. We are all projecting a public image that we want others to think is true. It’s the image that we are comfortable having others see. It is the truth regarding how we express ourselves verbally but it’s partial because we’re not in the room physically present with each other.  It serves to protect our deepest emotions and events of our lives from being too visible, too vulnerable as our bodies are visible. Maybe we are aligning with a group that “fixes” all that was wrong with our mother or father instead of aligning with our true selves in group settings.

I actually accept that about others. The reason being…underneath we are all innocent children that have had to learn to cope in certain family dynamics and fundamental societal expectations where most of the time, no one asked us what we wanted or how we felt. They just told us what we should do to fit in and be liked. Knowing and obeying those parameters helped us survive and maybe kept us alive. So we view that compromise as fundamentally good. But it’s not. It is surviving, not thriving. That’s how the veneer starts. Most of the veneer comes from religion, state schools, and our family.

It’s something to keep in mind when you communicate on social media. There is no way you’re getting an authentic picture of a person on any of those sites. We all cling to religions, political parties and value systems that we feel emotionally comfortable with culturally. That doesn’t mean that a person who is opposite of you doesn’t have a good heart or a stable mind. It’s amazing how convinced we can be of how right we are when we surround ourselves with people who agree with us.

It’s not about a group as right or wrong. It’s about caring to know who people really are underneath, listening, and being authentic ourselves. We’re called to love-not to judge…anyone…ever…for any reason.

 

Essay; Sexual Shaming of Men


 

man-in-doubt

I’ve been thinking about this issue for about a year now but it coalesced last night when I read a quite long, but well-thought-out blog post on this site that made light of how many women absorb shame from men when we have sex with them. Before that, we’re fine, happy with ourselves, like being a woman, and like our bodies. I think women are getting better at accepting our bodies as they are and the media is helping with that. I know I am. There are more women of all different sizes on T.V. and in all media. The SIZE SHAMING, no matter what size, has decreased. More women understand that it’s more important for us to love ourselves than to please a man.

But, reading her blog, I immediately related to the experience of being mystified as to why a man I was with would turn pornographic in his tone, talked about how hot I was, did the sweetie, beautiful “speak” and then wanted to get sexually nasty as opposed to sensuous and intimate. My assumption is it’s the testosterone and most women consider it normal. The last lover I had said, “Why do you have to be so seductive?” “Me? Seductive?” I’m a chipmunk! What was he talking about? I don’t think he was seeing who I was; he was seeing who he wanted and needed to see. He was projecting. Women are individuals not porn stars and it’s objectifying to treat us like we’re part of your MENTAL fantasy, not a person in front of you. But again, I’m not sure men can help it because of the shame they’re socialized with. Their minds are all cluttered up with objectifying materialism which makes them feel better. Their feelings are stimulated by things; women’s bodies, food, cars, houses, boats, and on and on. I’m not sure women understand this.

How much does that happen? Probably all the time. It’s men’s fantasy need of having a car or motorcycle that reminds them of a childhood toy that they loved. Then they imagined they were a superhero on that vehicle and some adult males still do it. They get a life-sized one and keep the fantasy going. It’s objectification that transfers over to sex with a woman. I suppose this underlies the barely clad woman advertising a car that is so nauseating to us.

It’s something to keep in mind that men probably watch a tremendous amount of porn because they can’t express their sexual feelings as much as they need to or the way they want to in our civilization that shames it. Most men are not relational, not romantic and don’t want to be yet many women need that to be turned on! If he acquiesced, he would be too much like a woman and he’s not a woman, he’s a man, which means he’s a part wild animal, part human. Not all men are of course but most of them are. It’s scary for some women like me when they turn wild animal. I guess other women like it.

I think that men project a lot onto women, as though it’s our issue, about how turned on they are by feeling ashamed, nasty, or mean. OR…is shame projected on to them from all sides FOR BEING male as though they are expected to be like that even if they are not? The writer I read didn’t say that in her blog or maybe she doesn’t understand it.  I think men get turned on by feeling repulsed. They’re attracted to women and things that are not nice and that are uncivilized and wild. It’s all that testosterone blasting through their brains that blows everything up. It’s the opposite of most women. I know some women are attracted to pain and ugliness, like a sadistic thing but it’s not terribly common. Still, I’m not judging it. Nevertheless, I am not that way.

It appears to me that everything in our civilization exists as it is to control men’s sexual nature and make things peaceable for women and children. Before, most of the time it was working. NOW, society seems to be tearing itself apart because men’s sexual nature is finally coming to the surface, there is more awareness of abuse of women and children, guns are everywhere which men love (you don’t see women using them in public much), we see incest, pedophilia, and sex trafficking at the highest levels of institutions, all the lies, and control about it are coming forward, the institutions don’t know exactly how to lie about it anymore. Men are victims of the system too otherwise they wouldn’t be victimizing those more vulnerable than them. It’s a trickle-down from the women and men in power who hold the system in place.

Civilization uses guilt, shame, control, incarceration, blaming women, sports, and the media all to LIE about men’s sexual nature. I guess we’re still working on a balance to our civilization as though it’s progressed from being in the wild. Sometimes I think it’s worse because it represses the true feelings and then they explode to the surface.

 

 

Everyday Spirituality Vs. Materialism


Materialistic values demean intuition and praise rationality, are seen and enforced by the media, educational institutions (schools), churches, behaviorists, (psychology and psychiatry), modern M.D. and healthcare. Take your pills and make sure you have a bulletproof backpack are their mantras. “Be realistic! Make sense!” Whose sense? Add governments, banks, and similar ilk in there. As you can see, The irrational Matrix is far-reaching. This is all true insanity and it’s out of hand. They even set fire to the Amazon rain forest, I guess because they no longer believe humans need air to breathe nor want us to have it? There is something very creepy going on. I think materialism has brainwashed and frightened many people to the point that they’ll accept death in any way it’s handed to them from the elite. They feel powerless to focus their own minds on their vision. It’s cultish and dystopian but I see it happening.

cropped-shaman-hands-over-sun.jpg
Materialism Creates Disunity

Materialism is considered reality, what’s real, and what we should all be following and obeying if we’re good citizens, neighbors, and sane people. Lying and faking, putting on a plastic face and a plastered smile, women dolled up ready for sex and men the takers is the poster with a shiny new car behind them. All of this is considered normal and good. If you deviate, or are different, have brown skin, use big words, love yourself or have faith, you’re not stable?

videoblocks-handshake-between-hand-of-black-man-and-white-woman-outdoor_rlphtvgo4m_thumbnail-full08
Spirituality is about UNITY and PEACE between cultures. ONE human race.

Enter spirituality, exit religion. Church membership is declining and the Spiritual movement is on the rise. Holism is coming forward (my field), art and artists are starting to be acknowledged. The foundation of the Spiritual movement is ART and personal freedom of expression, interdependence and a unique individual perception that is a personal truth but not a societal dogma. To each his own; together. Many artists understand QI which unpins the Chinese civilization, 1.3 billion strong, the largest in the world. Their art from every level, as well as their medicine rivals the west.

The western religions were compliant and the right-hand helper of materialism as they are in a subconscious headlock as well. They are sexually deviant, addicted to all manner of substance, perverse, and love money and power under the guise of salvation and safety from hell damnation. This is the subconscious mind from their parents. The leaders of the churches are also down the rabbit hole. They need to hide too. Government and religion have long been bedfellows for more sex and money than is imaginable. They are an enslaved people looking to enslave others so the truth doesn’t come out.

Their mutual cooperation defines world history and the ascent of the mythological genetic line in the institution of the family, none of which is based on science at all. Genetic determinism is not scientifically valid; it’s dead according to the experts. Morphic resonance is a better theory as well as the imprint of the family on subconscious programming. It all comes from our environment and it shows up in cell biology! Quantum physics is shedding light on all of it.

At odds with religion back in the day was Science. Science calls on the higher, intellectual faculty of the conscious mind informed by free-will and choice. It reads, thinks, and is a critical thinker. One has to be calm to do that. That is at direct odds with the emotional indulgence and drama of a repressed childhood. Scientists have work to do. We are now getting closer to modern spirituality approaching modern science. The Earth is not flat, it’s round. We revolve around the sun, the sun doesn’t revolve around us; little facts like that that are still challenged by religionists today. Much blood has been spilled over scientific fact and by scientists themselves for daring to challenge church dogma that required a blood sacrifice.

It feels like getting uppity and empowered took us too long and while humanity was maturing, the elite was ripping off and ripping into the planet to end all of it for god knows what purpose. The climate has hit a tipping point while we wake up. Now what?

Spirituality is judged handily by unimaginative and indolent behaviorists who themselves are likely addicts but busy none the less with calling intuition, Reiki, ESP, and psychic mediums schizotypy. Kudos to the dude that came up with that word. I call them materialists who might feel very comfy in a church pew ruminating nostalgically over their time on a swingset. A step forward would be an art class, a jazz gig, hang-out with some cool cats and lose the stiff upper lip of intellectualizing love and creativity because you can’t or won’t take the leap and do it yourself. Those who won’t do it only analyze from the outside.

Materialism = subconscious programming from the family, 95% of personal action

Spirituality = conscious control programming (mindfulness and high intelligence) of the subconscious mind and minimizing the family to 40% of personal action, 60% to your own mind.

We seek a more creative, spiritual, peaceful world where everyone’s needs are met, including animals and plants, cultures are celebrated and acknowledged and it is understood that biologically, there is no such thing as race. We are ONE race; human, made of thousands of cultures and our entire lives and everything we do is founded in Love.

Re-Program; Your Theta Brain Waves Affect Your Subconscious Mind


In the Spirit-Mind-Body movement, many lightworkers have managed to functionally reduce the effect of their subconscious programming on their conscious mind. This is what my book “Healer” is about which you can order on this blog.

Normal adults minds are currently programmed 95% by their mother in utero and family after birth up to age 7. Lightworkers have become aware of their programmed issues and asserted their conscious mind in order to break habits that they don’t want, that are not of their choosing but were imprinted from the family. You can overstep your subconscious program and this is, in fact, the foundation of the Spiritual Movement.

In no way are we saying family is bad. Every family is different. We are saying that each person can and does have a choice over what they want their lives to be. It does not have to be dictated by the family or anyone else. This is still somewhat taboo and scary to many people but it’s beginning to dawn on everyone that individual freedom is real within a group that is interdependent, not co-dependent or addicted to a materialistic paradigm. Neither does ancestry dictate anything as genetic determinism is no longer scientifically valid. The truth is, we are all ONE human race. There are no races. There are just thousands of cultures on Earth all ONE race; the human race.

Mastering Your Brainwaves

Our brain pulses and vibrates like everything in this Universe. Brainwaves can be categorized according to their frequency. The brain pulse is measured like sound in cycles per second or Hertz. It is not about spending our entire life in an awakened mind pattern, but to attain mastery of our brainwaves. Mastery means, we want to be able to be in the state of consciousness (the brainwave pattern) of our choice at any given time and to achieve what we want to do with it. So flexibility and mastery are what we are looking for.

Delta | 0.5 – 4 cycles per second | .05 – 4 HZ-or D Waves


The lowest frequencies are delta. These are less than 4 Hz and occur in deep sleep and in some abnormal processes. It is the dominant rhythm in infants up to one year of age and it is present in stages 3 and 4 of sleep. It tends to be the highest in amplitude and the slowest waves. Delta is associated with deep sleep, this pattern is very slow. However, this brain wave pattern is important for the explorer of consciousness. If you work to merge with the mass consciousness of our planet you need to work in delta, the first step will be to learn to be conscious in your dreams. If you can do that, you can go further in the exploration. Astral projection or Out of Body experience occurs in Delta.  We increase Delta waves in order to decrease our awareness of the physical world. We also access information in our unconscious mind through Delta. Peak performers decrease Delta waves when high focus and peak performance are required. However, most individuals diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder, naturally increase rather than decrease Delta activity when trying to focus.

Theta | 4-8 cycles per second | 4 – 8 HZ-or T Waves

Associated with creativity and Extra-sensory perception, the theta state is something to learn to go into at will. It is seen in connection with creativity, intuition, daydreaming, and fantasizing and is a repository for memories, emotions, sensation. Theta waves are strong during internal focus, meditation, prayer, and spiritual awareness.  There are countless ways to reach theta and is the state where your ESP can operate. If you do the proper work you can learn to enter theta at will and perform most of the psychic activities. It reflects the state between wakefulness and sleep and relates to the subconscious mind. It is viewed as abnormal in awake adults but perfectly normal in children up to 13 years old but that is societal bias. It is also normal during sleep and just upon waking. Theta is believed to reflect activity from the limbic system and hippocampus regions. Theta is observed in anxiety, behavioral activation, and behavioral inhibition. When the theta rhythm appears to function normally it mediates and/or promotes adaptive, complex behaviors such as learning and memory.

Alpha | 8-13 cycles per second | 8 – 13 HZ-or A Waves

The first pattern discovered in 1908 by an Austrian Psychiatrist named Hans Berger. Alpha pattern appears when in wakefulness where there is relaxed and effortless alertness. It is recommended to practice your creative visualization and auto-suggestion technique in alpha state. Good healthy alpha production promotes mental resourcefulness, aids in the ability to mentally coordinate, and enhance an overall sense of relaxation and fatigue. In this state, you can move quickly and efficiently to accomplish whatever task is at hand. When Alpha predominates most people feel at ease and calm. It is the major rhythm seen in most adults. The right brain initiates it.

Beta | 13- 33 cycles per second | 13 – 33 HZ –or B waves


Beta is associated with our waking activity. During a day we experience all the brainwave patterns with a predominance of Beta. It is generally regarded as a normal rhythm and is the dominant rhythm in those who are alert or anxious or who have their eyes open. It is the state that most of the brain is in when we have our eyes open and are listening and thinking during analytical problem solving, judgment, decision making, processing information about the world around us. The beta band has a relatively large range and has been divided into low, midrange and high. The left brain initiates it.

Gamma | over 33 cycles per second | 33 + HZ- or G Waves


This range is the most recently discovered and is the fastest frequency above 33Hz. While little is known in the mainstream about this state of mind, initial research shows Gamma waves are associated with bursts of insight and high-level information processing. When the brain needs to simultaneously process information from different areas, it is hypothesized that the gamma state consolidates the required areas for simultaneous processing. Note that there’s a LOT of disagreement over where Beta range ends & Gamma range begins. Gamma rhythms appear to be involved in higher mental activity, including perception and consciousness.

 The Regions of the brain that originates each wave;

Delta-The Thalumus or Cortex (the top middle of the brain)

Theta-The Hippocampal Region-(the middle-low part of the brain near the brain stem that C1 hooks into) This must be the subconscious mind.

Alpha-The Right Brain –right side of the head

Beta-The Left Brain-left side of the head

Gamma-these waves originate in the Thalamus (where Delta does) and are then observed to sweep from the frontal lobe throughout the entire brain bringing it into synchronization.  Tibetan Buddhist Monks have been observed to run Gamma waves-the fastest wave humans can produce, that we know of.

The neo-cortex and the lobes are the sites of the conscious brain.  It’s located at the top and sides of the brain. It’s been around for 300,000 years or 1/3 of our species existence. It controls voluntary thought awareness, self-control, and planning.

The subconscious mind is located in the limbic system and the brain stem. It’s the lower brain.  This is the old brain and the original human brain. It is responsible for the autonomic nervous system, control of internal organs, forges and manages all habits, insight and creativity, and emotions.  It’s much faster and efficient than the new brain and has multi-tasking abilities.

Some scientists believe the vagus nerve or spindle neurons that connect the prefrontal cortex to the insula may be the link to the new brain.  Everything initiated in the subconscious now goes into the conscious mind if we let it.

 

“The Family”-On Netflix


I recommend this very wild documentary on Netflix. It’s about the enmeshment of church and state and how this right-wing, Republican Christian cult called The Fellowship has an invisible, powerful influence on Washington and undermines democracy internationally at this present time. It’s unconstitutional and abridges the 1st amendment. Its leader was Doug Coe. They’ve spread evangelism to Russia which is why Putin is an ally to Republicans. Russia has a Christian prayer breakfast too to keep white men on top which they are trying to spread internationally.
They’re called “The Family” and believe they are chosen by God to lead the government…until they fall in love with a woman and have an affair. 😀 It’s unbelievably adolescent. They can do anything they want like an untouchable until the media gets on it. The territorial wagons of marriage and monogamy in the name of Jesus secure nothing. They are free to be polyamorous. This is white male patriarchy upheld by religion and it feeds on women and children to this day.
Our fledgling democracy is still unconstitutional. Our tax dollars are given to these people. A Bible in one hand and a gun in the other. They are the sponsor of the National Prayer Breakfast annually. It privileges Christianity and it’s illegal. Their motto is “Jesus Christ. Nothing else.” The truth is they are nothing, phony, foolish, and certainly not a correct representation of Jesus and…they build relationships with violent dictators and terrorists. In addition, they support killing LGBT. Go to this link to read about the 1st amendment to the Constitution on the separation of church and state and do check out this great documentary. It’s about three hours long. I was glued to the screen.

Essay; Jealousy


jealous-ugly

Jealousy is just lying to yourself out of laziness and self-indulgence. You’d rather suck energy from others and take their credit than do the hard work yourself. That’s not a mental illness, you’re just being an asshole. You don’t love yourself and that will ruin the mind, body, and spirit. And those that are strong, not jealous, love themselves and do the work will be scapegoated. There is nothing righteous about allowing yourself to be scapegoated and letting people hurt you because they choose to be weak. Everyone is strong sometimes and weak sometimes. We need to live in a world where everyone is loved with compassion, not just weak people out of pity to soothe the ego of the other weak people.-ME

Essay; Bonding instead of Possession


 

Prince Harry tribute to Princess DianaAccording to this picture, being physically alive is not a prerequisite to feeling bonded. Think about that. This is a common human experience all over the world; feeling the presence of and emotional bond to an ancestor who has died. Working with clients, I believe the emotional-spiritual bond humans feel to one another, family or not, are much stronger than the physical bond and certainly don’t include possession.

Shared values, personal affinity or sameness, sexual affinity, and complementary differences help us bond. If you’re reproducing at a young age, similar family upbringing and just basic lust, bond you very strongly to a person causing you to feel possessive. Just because you feel possessive doesn’t mean you actually can possess another human being. Human possession is actually slavery. People do buy one another mostly for sex and for employment. The latter is illegal and the former is not.

A physical lust bond is actually very essential in young couples for successful reproduction. The more sex you want to have and do have the more likely it is you’ll conceive. That said, once a woman has a child, her lust or desire for her husband markedly decreases and her emotional bond is super strong to her child just due to evolutionary mother love in the human brain. It’s actually the strongest type of real love on the planet as I think we all know. Mothers love their children with superhuman might. Fathers do too but it’s different since they didn’t create the baby in their body. I adore my son. I feel more bonded to my son than anyone on the planet and when he’s around it’s as though a part of me is in the house. That can actually be a pain in the butt because we’re very similar. My brain and thus my behavior goes into mama role. It’s very bizarre to observe in myself and feels very natural but automatic. It’s not a behavior I choose at all!

That said, amazingly, in no way do I feel I possess him nor have I EVER felt that I possess my son! His father and I raised him to possess himself and he does, even though he’s going through judging himself in a perfectionist manner at the age of twenty.

I think that possession is a misnomer because of our materialist based, capitalist system of ownership and human slavery. It’s not a minor issue because it’s the basis of legal marriage and taking someone else’s name. Men and women tend to behave as though they can control one another in a relationship which is completely unrealistic and offensive. This is where the resistance to possession comes from. It’s also a huge political issue that affects the status of everyone, including men that tend to feel controlled by women.

Let’s move to create bonding that includes freedom of movement, freedom to be yourself, freedom to express how you feel and freedom to express yourself sexually in different ways and stop talking about possessing or controlling anyone, even in a sexual relationship. The way I see it, bonding in love is a stronger force than possession or control anyway. You won’t feel the need to possess or control someone if the emotional bond is there. You also won’t feel the need to prescribe “monogamy” to it because if you are bonded and love someone you’ll want to be with them. And if you don’t, there isn’t enough sex with novel people in the world to satisfy your longing. Don’t kimiddleagekissingd yourself about that!

If you have bonded, your quality of life skyrockets! I’m going to have that which means I need a mate with whom I can feel emotionally bonded and passionate. Once there is a strong emotional bond, that can morph and change into spiritual affinity and you won’t even need to use the word loyalty because you’ll naturally be on the same page in terms of your values even as your body and emotions change. It’s all good.

 

 

 

Essay; an Expiration Date is Normal for Monogamy & Marriage


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I’ve been married and divorced three times and I don’t regret any of it. All three of my husbands were brilliant, adoring men who tend to be what I prefer. I’m not an easy woman to live with because I’m passionate, freedom-loving, willful, very physical, and intelligent. I’m pretty much a wild filly although when people see me, they assume I’m a chump or a pushover because I’m full of love, warmth and feminine energy. That’s all true until you cross my line. I’m very patient and will discuss anything and everything until I see you’re immature or not reciprocating. Then I’ll silently walk away.

Two of them actually ended because of death or tragedy. Those two reasons for divorce are beyond our control. It takes a very negative toll on love and you both descend into the black hole of loss. Be sure to get help and climb out of it before you try to be in a relationship again. Otherwise, you’re offloading that grief onto someone else that doesn’t deserve it. You have to heal yourself with professional help.

There aren’t very many reasons to feel guilty about divorce. Life happens and it’s all difficult. Of course, this is my opinion from fifty-six years of observing humans and myself. Most couples do divorce after their kids are grown. And then sometimes they decide they are friends and get back together again. But the basis of any relationship needs to be friendship. Monogamy and marriage are a good idea when you’re reproductive age and having children. Your kids need both parents present if indeed they are present. Of course, the structure won’t work if one parent is busy being a workaholic or some other addiction. Then it’s all fake and harmful for the children. Still, you can try.

The balance of power between women and men outside of monogamy will only work if both are in complete freedom with their body and sex life. No more double standard. Also, the romantic fantasy needs to take a hike. Women are responsible for their feelings and men theirs. We no longer “make each other feel…”. The other day my friend advised, “Don’t be a nurse or a purse.” That can go both ways with a man or a woman! Meaning, seek interdependency, not dependency. When you’re married and monogamous, having a family, you’re dependent on one another. That’s just a reality but will end when the children are grown.

There is no expected possession, dependency or monitoring after monogamy. That’s parental behavior. I like monogamy but it should flow naturally out of what you feel, not rules, and is really only required when there are children involved. It should not be an expectation otherwise. I can’t remember a time when I did not hold this as a value. Even as a child I would express this kind of thing to my mother and she’d just snicker. I just believe in freedom, love, and creativity. If you have some emotional heavies to deal with, seek out a counselor. Don’t offload on family or friends. I think being too heavy or negative can ruin relationships. Everyone is at different levels with this but running more positive and less toxic energy should be at the ratio 85/15. I mean, a minor complaint or little fit is no big deal with a friend or lover but an ongoing heavy emotional habit or dysfunctional addiction is a relationship killer. There is no winning on that one. You must both be taking care of yourselves, yourself or you’re not desirable. That’s a no-brainer.

There is no rational point of marriage or monogamy after you’ve been married and had kids. There is no point of marriage and monogamy if you don’t want children. Every family ends at some point or should if it’s healthy! Otherwise, no one is growing and changing. I notice the women have a stranglehold on the men and the men have become dependent and couldn’t live without the woman. That’s a bad deal for men. Men can learn how to take care of themselves too! What happened to women being empowering for men in return for men being supportive of women? It needs to be a two-way street. Encouraging male dependency is not cool. Coddling a male or doing things for him that he can do for himself is very dysfunctional. I hope, as a culture, we realize that marriage, monogamy and falling in love has a biological function but after that, socially, it doesn’t usually work.