Heads up to my followers. I’ve added a new tab on the far right to my Homepage;
I will be creating books titled;
- Everyday Intuition
- Heartset as the Foundation for Mindset
- Re-Program Your Subconscious Mind
- Everyday Spirituality
- Balanced, Honest Sexuality
- Another Book of Prose
- Body Truth
You will see my posts disappearing one by one and then the collection of posts plus practical help will be added to the tab on the right for purchase.
I will also add an erotic thriller that does a take on NATURE as erotic, not necessarily women and men f*ing, as though we don’t already know what that’s about. I’m seeing more of the porn-type writing and prose on here and…well… I think I have a different idea, of course. I am following those blogs though to see if they keep the writing quality up and not just their genitalia. We’ll see. I know people, including myself, like passionate emotions and sensuous words so I’m going to play with that! Stay tuned.
Materialistic values demean intuition and praise rationality, are seen and enforced by the media, educational institutions (schools), churches, behaviorists, (psychology and psychiatry), modern M.D. and healthcare. Take your pills and make sure you have a bulletproof backpack are their mantras. “Be realistic! Make sense!” Whose sense? Add governments, banks, and similar ilk in there. As you can see, The irrational Matrix is far-reaching. This is all true insanity and it’s out of hand. They even set fire to the Amazon rain forest, I guess because they no longer believe humans need air to breathe nor want us to have it? There is something very creepy going on. I think materialism has brainwashed and frightened many people to the point that they’ll accept death in any way it’s handed to them from the elite. They feel powerless to focus their own minds on their vision. It’s cultish and dystopian but I see it happening.
Materialism is considered reality, what’s real, and what we should all be following and obeying if we’re good citizens, neighbors, and sane people. Lying and faking, putting on a plastic face and a plastered smile, women dolled up ready for sex and men the takers is the poster with a shiny new car behind them. All of this is considered normal and good. If you deviate, or are different, have brown skin, use big words, love yourself or have faith, you’re not stable?
Enter spirituality, exit religion. Church membership is declining and the Spiritual movement is on the rise. Holism is coming forward (my field), art and artists are starting to be acknowledged. The foundation of the Spiritual movement is ART and personal freedom of expression, interdependence and a unique individual perception that is a personal truth but not a societal dogma. To each his own; together. Many artists understand QI which unpins the Chinese civilization, 1.3 billion strong, the largest in the world. Their art from every level, as well as their medicine rivals the west.
The western religions were compliant and the right-hand helper of materialism as they are in a subconscious headlock as well. They are sexually deviant, addicted to all manner of substance, perverse, and love money and power under the guise of salvation and safety from hell damnation. This is the subconscious mind from their parents. The leaders of the churches are also down the rabbit hole. They need to hide too. Government and religion have long been bedfellows for more sex and money than is imaginable. They are an enslaved people looking to enslave others so the truth doesn’t come out.
Their mutual cooperation defines world history and the ascent of the mythological genetic line in the institution of the family, none of which is based on science at all. Genetic determinism is not scientifically valid; it’s dead according to the experts. Morphic resonance is a better theory as well as the imprint of the family on subconscious programming. It all comes from our environment and it shows up in cell biology! Quantum physics is shedding light on all of it.
At odds with religion back in the day was Science. Science calls on the higher, intellectual faculty of the conscious mind informed by free-will and choice. It reads, thinks, and is a critical thinker. One has to be calm to do that. That is at direct odds with the emotional indulgence and drama of a repressed childhood. Scientists have work to do. We are now getting closer to modern spirituality approaching modern science. The Earth is not flat, it’s round. We revolve around the sun, the sun doesn’t revolve around us; little facts like that that are still challenged by religionists today. Much blood has been spilled over scientific fact and by scientists themselves for daring to challenge church dogma that required a blood sacrifice.
It feels like getting uppity and empowered took us too long and while humanity was maturing, the elite was ripping off and ripping into the planet to end all of it for god knows what purpose. The climate has hit a tipping point while we wake up. Now what?
Spirituality is judged handily by unimaginative and indolent behaviorists who themselves are likely addicts but busy none the less with calling intuition, Reiki, ESP, and psychic mediums schizotypy. Kudos to the dude that came up with that word. I call them materialists who might feel very comfy in a church pew ruminating nostalgically over their time on a swingset. A step forward would be an art class, a jazz gig, hang-out with some cool cats and lose the stiff upper lip of intellectualizing love and creativity because you can’t or won’t take the leap and do it yourself. Those who won’t do it only analyze from the outside.
Materialism = subconscious programming from the family, 95% of personal action
Spirituality = conscious control programming (mindfulness and high intelligence) of the subconscious mind and minimizing the family to 40% of personal action, 60% to your own mind.
We seek a more creative, spiritual, peaceful world where everyone’s needs are met, including animals and plants, cultures are celebrated and acknowledged and it is understood that biologically, there is no such thing as race. We are ONE race; human, made of thousands of cultures and our entire lives and everything we do is founded in Love.
In the Spirit-Mind-Body movement, many lightworkers have managed to functionally reduce the effect of their subconscious programming on their conscious mind. This is what my book “Healer” is about which you can order on this blog.
Normal adults minds are currently programmed 95% by their mother in utero and family after birth up to age 7. Lightworkers have become aware of their programmed issues and asserted their conscious mind in order to break habits that they don’t want, that are not of their choosing but were imprinted from the family. You can overstep your subconscious program and this is, in fact, the foundation of the Spiritual Movement.
In no way are we saying family is bad. Every family is different. We are saying that each person can and does have a choice over what they want their lives to be. It does not have to be dictated by the family or anyone else. This is still somewhat taboo and scary to many people but it’s beginning to dawn on everyone that individual freedom is real within a group that is interdependent, not co-dependent or addicted to a materialistic paradigm. Neither does ancestry dictate anything as genetic determinism is no longer scientifically valid. The truth is, we are all ONE human race. There are no races. There are just thousands of cultures on Earth all ONE race; the human race.
Mastering Your Brainwaves
Our brain pulses and vibrates like everything in this Universe. Brainwaves can be categorized according to their frequency. The brain pulse is measured like sound in cycles per second or Hertz. It is not about spending our entire life in an awakened mind pattern, but to attain mastery of our brainwaves. Mastery means, we want to be able to be in the state of consciousness (the brainwave pattern) of our choice at any given time and to achieve what we want to do with it. So flexibility and mastery are what we are looking for.
Delta | 0.5 – 4 cycles per second | .05 – 4 HZ-or D Waves
The lowest frequencies are delta. These are less than 4 Hz and occur in deep sleep and in some abnormal processes. It is the dominant rhythm in infants up to one year of age and it is present in stages 3 and 4 of sleep. It tends to be the highest in amplitude and the slowest waves. Delta is associated with deep sleep, this pattern is very slow. However, this brain wave pattern is important for the explorer of consciousness. If you work to merge with the mass consciousness of our planet you need to work in delta, the first step will be to learn to be conscious in your dreams. If you can do that, you can go further in the exploration. Astral projection or Out of Body experience occurs in Delta. We increase Delta waves in order to decrease our awareness of the physical world. We also access information in our unconscious mind through Delta. Peak performers decrease Delta waves when high focus and peak performance are required. However, most individuals diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder, naturally increase rather than decrease Delta activity when trying to focus.
Theta | 4-8 cycles per second | 4 – 8 HZ-or T Waves
Associated with creativity and Extra-sensory perception, the theta state is something to learn to go into at will. It is seen in connection with creativity, intuition, daydreaming, and fantasizing and is a repository for memories, emotions, sensation. Theta waves are strong during internal focus, meditation, prayer, and spiritual awareness. There are countless ways to reach theta and is the state where your ESP can operate. If you do the proper work you can learn to enter theta at will and perform most of the psychic activities. It reflects the state between wakefulness and sleep and relates to the subconscious mind. It is viewed as abnormal in awake adults but perfectly normal in children up to 13 years old but that is societal bias. It is also normal during sleep and just upon waking. Theta is believed to reflect activity from the limbic system and hippocampus regions. Theta is observed in anxiety, behavioral activation, and behavioral inhibition. When the theta rhythm appears to function normally it mediates and/or promotes adaptive, complex behaviors such as learning and memory.
Alpha | 8-13 cycles per second | 8 – 13 HZ-or A Waves
The first pattern discovered in 1908 by an Austrian Psychiatrist named Hans Berger. Alpha pattern appears when in wakefulness where there is relaxed and effortless alertness. It is recommended to practice your creative visualization and auto-suggestion technique in alpha state. Good healthy alpha production promotes mental resourcefulness, aids in the ability to mentally coordinate, and enhance an overall sense of relaxation and fatigue. In this state, you can move quickly and efficiently to accomplish whatever task is at hand. When Alpha predominates most people feel at ease and calm. It is the major rhythm seen in most adults. The right brain initiates it.
Beta | 13- 33 cycles per second | 13 – 33 HZ –or B waves
Beta is associated with our waking activity. During a day we experience all the brainwave patterns with a predominance of Beta. It is generally regarded as a normal rhythm and is the dominant rhythm in those who are alert or anxious or who have their eyes open. It is the state that most of the brain is in when we have our eyes open and are listening and thinking during analytical problem solving, judgment, decision making, processing information about the world around us. The beta band has a relatively large range and has been divided into low, midrange and high. The left brain initiates it.
Gamma | over 33 cycles per second | 33 + HZ- or G Waves
This range is the most recently discovered and is the fastest frequency above 33Hz. While little is known in the mainstream about this state of mind, initial research shows Gamma waves are associated with bursts of insight and high-level information processing. When the brain needs to simultaneously process information from different areas, it is hypothesized that the gamma state consolidates the required areas for simultaneous processing. Note that there’s a LOT of disagreement over where Beta range ends & Gamma range begins. Gamma rhythms appear to be involved in higher mental activity, including perception and consciousness.
The Regions of the brain that originates each wave;
Delta-The Thalumus or Cortex (the top middle of the brain)
Theta-The Hippocampal Region-(the middle-low part of the brain near the brain stem that C1 hooks into) This must be the subconscious mind.
Alpha-The Right Brain –right side of the head
Beta-The Left Brain-left side of the head
Gamma-these waves originate in the Thalamus (where Delta does) and are then observed to sweep from the frontal lobe throughout the entire brain bringing it into synchronization. Tibetan Buddhist Monks have been observed to run Gamma waves-the fastest wave humans can produce, that we know of.
The neo-cortex and the lobes are the sites of the conscious brain. It’s located at the top and sides of the brain. It’s been around for 300,000 years or 1/3 of our species existence. It controls voluntary thought awareness, self-control, and planning.
The subconscious mind is located in the limbic system and the brain stem. It’s the lower brain. This is the old brain and the original human brain. It is responsible for the autonomic nervous system, control of internal organs, forges and manages all habits, insight and creativity, and emotions. It’s much faster and efficient than the new brain and has multi-tasking abilities.
Some scientists believe the vagus nerve or spindle neurons that connect the prefrontal cortex to the insula may be the link to the new brain. Everything initiated in the subconscious now goes into the conscious mind if we let it.
MINDSET-Human consciousness is always aligning but evolution has shown that there are leaps where suddenly there is a paradigm shift. We are in a leap zone right now. Those on the planet who want to be here and want to leap and see what the leap can bring will do it. Those that are on the planet and have decided they don’t really want to be here or they’re making it hell here for themselves and others will not leap. Both are choices but the leap WILL happen. No one can stop it this time. The indigo children coming onto the planet and being activists are an example of the leap.
Some people are here to teach our fellow beings to communicate with one another in a way that helps us realign our relationships to be healthier. Many people are doing it and I’m doing it with regard to the Spirit-Body-Mind.
I’m teaching people to take care of themselves by being a good example. We need to restore the clarity of communication that existed long ago. We have a common thread running through all things in the universe, one in Spirit and Mind, yet appear separate as a body and seem to be different because of our upbringing. But they are not deep differences.
Once we become aware of this irony it will lead to an interdependency, not independence or dependence (dysfunction) based upon trust and faith in humankind that allows us to see the spiritual consciousness within all. I have to admit I vacillate between cynicism and realism and don’t always know which one is accurate.
Gender balance is key to spiritual interdependency. God the Father is equal with God the Mother but it isn’t taught in any earth religions. In fact, God is neither male nor female but these are at different dimensional levels. Biologists know that men and women are actually both male and female so the patriarchal depiction of God is not accurate at all. In fact, women are the ones who create human beings in our bodies. That gives us quite a leg up on the planet and worthy of respect even though in the wider universe we’re equal with males. It’s not about control but cooperation between the genders.
Men are called to surpass their fathers at all levels and women are called to surpass their mothers at all levels. A good parent will want this for their child. If your parent doesn’t want that for you, it’s your duty as a child of the earth to know that the Universe has your back to rampage it forward, have faith, and get busy!
A worthy motivation comes from your heart. If you don’t feel you need a reason or you don’t have a reason or haven’t thought deeply enough about your reason for doing something, you’re going to hurt people and yourself. If you know you hurt people and still go forward because you refuse to face your rage, you’re creating karma for yourself. That’s called leading people astray while you’re hurting yourself.
You can tell by a person’s private relationships or even if they have them whether they are heart set. You can tell by whether they follow through on what they say they’ll do whether they are heart set and telling the truth. You can tell by whether they make a commitment to something they say they want. If they don’t follow through, they’re lying and don’t know how they feel. You can tell by if they “say” they care but their behavior is uncaring and scattered. All of this is dysfunction, so very viral and so very human. If someone doesn’t want to meet you in person and only uses social media, none of the communication is real. It’s not grounded in reality which is the body, and relationship. What I’m saying is taboo because it comes from the female. Women understand relating, bonding, the body, and friendship. Men don’t.
This is key given all the talk about Mindset and motivation. If you say you have a strong mind but then say that you hurt people or have a track record of hurting people, you’re in denial. That’s not that big of a deal. Most of humanity is in denial about the emotional trauma that’s been done to them and thus they have a closed heart. Most of those people don’t try to lead others though. But if you claim to be teaching people, you need to do something about your denial.
You can’t escape to your mind and think you’re in control. Where is that rage and refusal to think about motivation coming from? How about a heart attack? Do you really need that to wake up? What about cut-offs? Do you pretend you care about someone and then kick them to the curb like yesterday’s garbage? That’s a closed heart. That’s caused by a lack of forgiveness and trauma that you have not faced. It also translates into an attachment disorder because your parents were evil in your youth and are responsible for your scarred subconscious. I get that and it’s the human condition. I went through it too and blew it out of the water. You are still response-able to be good in your adult behavior and choices even though they weren’t.
Energy workers know that you’ve internalized the energy of your abuser, unconsciously, likely a fucked-up parent who doesn’t deserve the time of day or rent in your head and heart. Reiki will help balance that. The only way to get rid of them is to forgive them and sit very strongly in your own soul space. Do you understand how to really forgive? It has nothing to do with them getting off the karmic hook they got themselves on. The Universe will see to it that they get justice. It’s not your job. You get yourself off the karmic hook by forgiving them and sending them to the back of your mind where they need to sit down and be quiet. Your life and conscious mind belong to you, not them.
How? I realized my parents were human beings, very weak, not very smart and hated themselves. They had some good traits but not as many as I do. Our children do exceed us on the evolutionary scale and they’re supposed to! Then I turned around and made choices that made me the opposite and better, I got competitive and very rarely thought about them or saw them until I knew I was stronger. They weren’t going to win and it’s the duty of our children to think like that. Weak, hateful, abusive, scapegoating adults should not win, especially over children. It really is the mistake of smarter, stronger people who don’t kick ass that allows this world to get away with utter bullshit. We like to blame the weak for the trouble in the world but the truth is, those who love themselves, have the guts to speak up and lead and aren’t looking for approval have a duty to do so. Who else is going to really get change going? We have to have FULL integrity though and not make victim excuses! It seems to me that every human, given the opportunity, will offload their BS and attempt to victimize someone else. That creates karma. Don’t do it, no matter what’s been done to you.
I take all kinds of crap for being a woman with an IQ of 140, an Aries, competitive, a leader, and speak up when I feel like it. I only have a few friends and men are afraid of me and call me names even after they find me cute and soft, which I am. I’m a good listener until you start sizing me up and getting it wrong. I will cut off your speaking. I’m also a courageous warrior which I can’t help. It’s totally who I am.
The cute thing wanes quickly. I really don’t care. Only one man has ever loved me; Michael, and he died three years ago suddenly, so, death is a reality and men tend to drop over, women. Women need to have their own security in place. That’s earth.
I’m not in denial that it is taboo and not popular for super intuitive, intelligent women to say the heart leads the mind but it’s the truth. That’s also saying, women are the leaders on the planet, not men. Everyone knows that you can’t think straight or make good decisions unless you know how you feel from within yourself. Women know that. You have to understand your own emotions or your mind will not function, guys. It’s not good for your health no matter how ripped you are.
The Urban dictionary says,
“Passion is when you put more energy into something than is required to do it. It is more than just enthusiasm or excitement, passion is an ambition that is materialized into action to put as much heart, mind-body, and soul into something as possible.”
The less precise but widely held definition is;
“strong and barely controllable emotion.”
That one is inaccurate and projected onto women more than men. I don’t believe women are more emotional than men. I believe estrogen and testosterone make men and women equally emotional, just in different ways but men hide their feelings far more and their egos make them more sensitive to rejection. Think about it. Women and men both go off the rails emotionally due to hormone imbalance; women the estrogen, men with testosterone! Those hormones align with a physical workout by the way.
The reason for this definition still being popular is that humans are still most strongly motivated by lust and desire for sex and food. We are still at a basic primate level developmentally as far as our brains. It’s easy to see proof of that in our society. Sex, food, and money are the basic things humans want or all they want and those lusts control all of our institutions, politics, and families. If you look at most posts on social media, those three are the basic motivations.
But the first accurate definition is beyond emotion; it contains rational thinking, observation, decision making and taking action to materialize the passion. Most important, it requires patience and determination. It requires intelligence, vision, and choice. It ends up being a desire to serve and give back as well. It’s generous.
I want to point out that going this route does not make someone “better” than others, worthy of jealousy, derision, and offloading. It means they are willing to take what they’ve been given and work hard to apply themselves to the task they’ve chosen while others are not. They are good examples and deserve respect. I’m not always willing to do it though, only sometimes. It is the utter sign of laziness when others offload, use, and are jealous of someone who is likely equal to them in gifts and ability but is not willing to pay the price to do what the other one is doing! But boy do they swear that they love you. Love is actions, not words. Love is not rhetoric.
I am a passionate person, but because I’m all about transcending my subconscious programming from my family in order to become a conscious adult, I’ve developed my rational mind to a great extent to subdue the subconscious voice that is too emotional and dramatic, addicted to secure habits and harps on the past. My motivation is to help add to the possibility of species survival as opposed to extinction, of which seemingly, we are on the precipice.
Why else would a majority of Americans elect the most self-serving, racist, greedy, destructive man possible to be the President of the U.S., allow pedophile churchman to continue to be the leaders of the Christian Church, allow science to be run not by the scientific method and rational facts but money and misogyny?
All of the behaviors in those institutions reminds them of the values of their family growing up, the subconscious mind; addiction, alcoholism, capitalist greed and ambition, ego, submission or abuse of their mother and then likely her abuse of them, incest, sexual avarice, and the hypocrisy of covering it all with regular church attendance and tithing. It sounds like a bipartisan congressional picnic to me. Is anyone really good? I don’t care about anyone’s details that would print in the National Enquirer. I’m not a judge or confessor nor will I accept name-calling or offloading because I know the truth.
It continues to entertain me to see the level of shock and dismay about Trump, as though anything he does or any motivation he has isn’t predictable if you’ve been paying attention for a NY minute. He was elected by his American children in certain demographic groups who admire his deviant, greedy, destructive behavior. They love how evil he is because then it gives them license to behave badly. They want him to burn the “house” down because it represents their hypocritical, unhappy, racist, alcoholic childhoods. Maybe their mothers were not only unhappy but also sexually abused them. There are a lot of messed up women out there but it’s taboo for men to rat on women or their mothers. Everything is blamed on the men don’t ya know. Otherwise, they’re called “pussies”. Some women really leverage that fear in men and are very abusive.
If you haven’t figured it out by now, in the collective house, the Democrats are the mom and the Republicans are the dad. The citizens are the children. This thing can’t turn out well…unless the Republican party up levels to become a worthy opponent to the Democrats like they used to be.
I’m not better than anyone, as my mother accused me of believing about myself at Thanksgiving, but I am very psychic, can see the truth about people, have a real heart for humans, and deeply want to see our species survive extinction. I have a big vision that I’m not willing to hand over to small visions, petty jealousies, and lazy, irrational minds that don’t remember where they came from. We all have the capacity to be better and do better. I hold myself to that more than anyone else so there is nothing hurtful you can say to me that I don’t already say to myself.
I’ll just keep working and taking care of myself. I really don’t care who likes me or not. I love myself and my body and it works for me.
This is Marilyn vos Savant. She has the highest IQ of any woman in the world…that has been measured.
This is a great article!
The simple answer is because most of them aren’t so it’s jealousy which comes from women and men who resent or feel threatened by a very articulate person if they are not. It seems to me that no matter how good of a job I do or how nice I am, and I am, I’m railed on at some point by those who don’t understand me. Humans are really something. Especially the name-calling and commanding tone when they have no right, whatsoever, to start it up. Primates.
This issue is really floating on the collective society’s surface right now and showed it’s face to me two days ago. I’ve been aware of and dealing with this issue my entire life and have a pretty good coping mechanism in place so that I never feel victimized or lonely.
However, this week, the face of this thing is morphing. I’m seeing it turning around and bouncing off of the white culture (female and male) and the brown cultures (Mexican and East Indian) and the black cultures. I have friends from all of these cultures so that’s why I’m seeing and hearing it.
Men who have been traumatized by a very frustrated mother who turned bitchy or abusive in the home have suffered the most. But I have to say, your mother made you. You wouldn’t be here or have a body no matter what her behavior was once you came out if she hadn’t done her thing. That is enough for gratitude and respect. Does every mother have karma for how she treats her children? Inescapably yes. But men should not let that ruin their minds or their relationships with women. It has though.
However, white men and women don’t see it that way. They hold a grudge, believing that they are in a privileged position in society and should always be treated well, especially by their parents. Personally, my parents were very WASP’y so I was treated well. They never lifted a finger to me and very rarely screamed at me.
The hatred of women is coming from the misogynistic white male culture. They especially hate white women. Again, being white, I feel it harks back to the very dysfunctional way that relationships are formed in the white culture; based on ownership, things, money, and property.
That’s all I have on this one. The article really says it all and it ripped me to shreds accepting this issue. Please read it. I’ll have to get back to you on this. It’s pretty much an open wound.
Woman’s Day magazine, in retrospect, is going to go down in history to be as puerile, provincial, and trivial as the ads for toasters, cars, and bras for women in the 1950’s. They send me this rag free in the mail because I have a business. Occasionally I flip through it to get a laugh and I saw this.
The ad on the left is for a fake butter product. They’re making it analogous to a long-term relationship. The ingredients in “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter” are purified water, soybean oil, palm kernel oil, palm oil, salt, soy lecithin, natural flavors, vinegar, Vitamin A Palmitate, and beta-Carotene (for color). Jul 25, 2017
Soybean oil is very bad for you and in most processed foods and fast foods. Since it is so high in easily oxidizable omega-6, it’s a poor cooking oil choice. This article takes a look at eight harmful effects of soybean oil backed by scientific research. I’m pretty sure palm oil is no better.
Given all of that, I agree that it’s analogous to a long-term relationship which is a statistical misnomer. The only long-term relationships that lasted from the old days were anchored in the couples subconscious minds by their birth family. God only knows what kind of marriage that was; probably more like comfy brother and sister than hot, novel lovers from different tribes. Most marriages are lucky to last 10-11 years, long enough to raise the kids a little over halfway and not kill each other. All the romantic hype around marriage is romantic fantasy and like fake butter, it’s bad for you! I think most people would agree that it’s not good for human beings to live with the same person for too long. It’s celebrated because people are afraid of great sex actually changing them spiritually.
When a person finally understands and embraces their body and emotions there is nothing greater or more powerful on the planet. It can change the world. The governments and the religions all know that which is why they sell us the awful healthcare system we have, obsession with a fitness regimen instead of health in balance and moderate treats, and dogmatic religions that demonize the body and nature that espouse abstinence and deprivation and promote “I Can’t Believe They Call This Shit Butter” long-term relationships.
We’re getting into the gray area here between this black and white ad. The implied assumption being, long-term is white, like a wedding dress on the right and black, like a classy little black dress is on the left. Neither one is accurate and the butter side verges on slut-shaming.
Who doesn’t love butter?! Butter is real. A bit of butter in your diet is good for your skin. There is one ingredient in butter; milkfat and man is it good! I just used 2 sticks of butter to make a shortbread crust for an apple tart and it turned out smashing! The puns are coming fast and furious here; tart, shortbread, fast, furious. Sounds like great sex to me.
There are only 34 calories in a teaspoon of butter and when added to fresh bread, it is pure joy. There is no other substitute for it if you’re making sugar cookie cutouts for a holiday for people you actually love. The key is moderation. Don’t eat the entire apple tart with shortbread crust or ten cookies.
The same goes for your relationships. Don’t have sex with a new partner every night. That would be too many one night stands, but I don’t know anyone who does that. There is nothing unhealthy or wrong about having a lover or a boyfriend. I think it tastes the best and is the most realistic with regard to human nature. It’s also the truth!
Give me that butter any day. It is not a one-night stand. Looks like love to me; no possession but likely repeated as long as the recipe is right.
It depends on how you define bonding which I address below. In spiritual circles, we say, “Love at all times”. So the heart is always open, to everyone and we are protected by Spirit and use our intuition as a guide so there is no fear. We still have to be discerning about how we express love. For indeed, there is no fear in Love. So, that’s the idea. Many highly spiritual people succeed in this so I know it’s possible.
Like all good ideas, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t; boots on the ground kind of thing. When I put this to the test in my relationships with men and women I’d like to have a more specific plan since I’m a lover and a giver. My cup is always full and I need to empty it. That’s why I’m a giver. The last thing I need is more offloading, vampires, users, fakers and very unstable in my space looking for love that they need to find within and can find within. That’s when my cup empties quickly. That’s where discernment comes in.
How can we keep a strong boundary as empaths and lovers?
- If you truly love the other person, you accept where they are on the Self-Love spectrum. Don’t rush in where angels fear to tread. Instead, observe their behavior. Are they intuitive with you as you are with them? Are they emotionally sensitive to you when you need a shoulder or a hug or just to talk? They can give to you if they give to their own Self. Also, how much do they talk about their family? Are they still enslaved by a toxic family and defined by their toxic projection onto them? This issue is epidemic. Reiki aligns it.
- Do you love your own body enough so that when you have sex, you don’t suck energy from the other person but just “share” who you are? If you truly love your body you will just enjoy each other’s bodies, you won’t feel the need to possess the other. The other person can feel it if you do that.
- Is your conversation and dynamic peaceful with the other person? Or are there feelings of tension, or one person does all the talking all the time while the other one listens. Do they ask you how YOU are or is it always about them?
Intuition comes into play here more than reason. Studies have shown that humans highly communicate through body language. Everybody has different feelings but it’s not others job to figure you out. It’s your job to figure you out and know how you feel. It’s called maturity and mindfulness. You are the one IN your relationship, other’s are not or should not be, so they are of no use coming to a decision, ultimately. Our friends can be a sounding board for our own feelings though. That’s what friends are for; not to tell you what to do in a relationship.
How do we define bonding?
- “I miss you when you’re not here.” You’re bonded
- ” I need you next to me in bed”. You’re bonded
- “I need to talk to you to feel secure.” You’re bonded
- “I want to be with you more or most of the time.” You’re bonded
The list can go on but it’s always, “I need”, “I want” like a child. As an adult, you are able to regulate feelings of need and want via your brain. If your brain isn’t regulating it, put boots on the ground again and get exercising, moving, eating healthy and drinking water. It’s that simple. Just do it and stop pondering it.
I think bonded is a misnomer. I’d say you’re latched on, like a baby breastfeeding on its mother or a small child getting the affirmation and attention that they need from their father. All of this is the subconscious mind repeating unresolved patterns with the birth parents. That’s the main problem in our society. We need to release subconscious programming and become adults in our conscious program that we design for ourselves.
Can women keep their feelings during sex and not bond? How?
Realize that your feelings are for yourself. The man is barely absorbing them or feeling them anyway because all he feels is your body. While it’s true that the body is your feelings and thoughts, being mentally aware of your feelings is a higher level of cognition that women have. Most men don’t have it. They haven’t evolved the skill of knowing how they feel past being hungry or horny. It’s unbelievable to women but it reminds me of Hermione in Harry Potter when she referred to Ron as having the emotional range of a teaspoon. And it’s unfair for women to expect most men to be any different. That’s like asking women not to have breasts. Of course, we have breasts. It’s natural.
I would say “Yes”, we can love one another without traditional bonding but it’s not realistic to expect others to be able to. 98% of humans bond to one another and thus we have all the problems that we do on earth. People follow each other instead of their inner knowing. I personally think we need to grow past that but I certainly don’t expect it. True unity happens when we are all naturally sitting in our center. The fact is, we’re already bonded with all of life in the physical as one big family of Life. Just relax into that instead of adding another layer of latching on.