Is it a Relationship or Usage?


two lovers

I have to credit my friend Harry for pointing out this distinction verbally. I’ve always been aware of it but never considered that some people might not understand the difference. I always use my intuition and you can too to feel out the situation. For some reason, as soon as there is warmth or sex involved or the suggestion of sex, either or both parties may start to assume that they are in a relationship or moving toward one. That is incorrect. Or, as soon as a service is rendered or money is exchanged they assume it’s a relationship. It’s not. Some may say they have a professional relationship if money is exchanged. I would agree to that only if they return for the service which many times, it’s only a one time deal, humans being the way they are; fickle.

Right there you can see a connection between platonic philia and platonic eros. If THERE IS A RETURN for connection either for service (philia) or sexually (eros) you could start to conjecture that there is a relationship. You wouldn’t return to someone unless there was an affinity for service or for emotional intimacy. Most people really want that. Well, women do. I’m not at all sure men do, but maybe. When they say the words emotional or the word intimacy, they mean something different than we do.business people shaking hands

A relationship means that you can relate to one another and actively do either by just talking if you’re at a distance or see one another at whatever variable you wish. Just because your genitals relate to one another doesn’t mean that your mind and your heart relate to one another and this seems to be the big confusion for some people. I am of the persuasion that I have to have a friendship bond with a man before I’ll have sex with him. In no way is that possession or a relationship. It’s lover and friend status. It could be more though! It depends on what everyone wants.

The other big confusion is some people pride themselves on seeming invulnerable, perfectly rational, a closed book, never letting anyone seeing their true heart and not loving intimately, ever. They feel more powerful if they never love when in fact they are weaker. The heart is closed and needs to break to release past trauma. I promise you! I do it for a living and I am a safe person to be with if you have a broken heart while I run Reiki in the heart chakra. I remain detached but Love. There is always a reason from their past for that, likely a broken heart as a child. That can heal.

But there are millions of lightworkers like me that love at all times. I literally love everyone and I am very honest about how I feel. For the most part, I run agape platonic love. For a few men that I date and DO NOT see professionally, that turns into eros and I let them know but I never confuse the two. Still, in all my relationships, I love. Those platonic levels of love are important to know since we are called to love at all times in this world. One of my most recent blogs discusses it. That doesn’t mean I’m in a relationship with anyone nor do I necessarily want to be; especially if they pride themselves on using others and not loving. That will ruin the mind eventually.

If you don’t know one another and have no emotional or spiritual bond or affinity, then sex is just usage. If you don’t know one another and have no emotional or spiritual bond or affinity than ANY action you do together is just usage. What comes into play here are the roles you’re playing in an activity.

For those of us whose love language is touch, we consider talking all the time to be usage and body contact to be more regular or normal, meaning hugging, meeting in person, one-on-one, or if you’re intimate; actual sex. My love language is touch so I communicate best intimately that way, not talking over media. Some people are the opposite. In our culture of confused physical boundaries, it’s important not to judge those that prefer the love language of touch. For us, it’s like breathing. Professionally, I’m a bodyworker with very clear boundaries and communicate with my hands the best more than talk therapy.

Any service you do with one another in a particular role is just usage. If there is money exchanged you’ve paid for the usage or service. That’s a good thing! Everyone wants to be useful and needs meaningful work. Hopefully, it’s all clear.

 

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Blessings


(I wrote this eight years ago but forgot about it.)

The memories of the past tumble down the hill like rocks and wash over me…

like so many waves that crash on the shore

only to go out to sea to be mixed in with the foam, the seaweed, the plethora of gorgeous salt life that heals and evolves all life.

The salt tears only last one minute to transmit my signal.

The heat, the pulsing in my muscles, the steady beat of my heart in the workout show that the source of being in my blood, my body, and my breath, given to me by this Perfect Earth will erase, heal, and forever dispel the smaller pieces of Earth that are to only be absorbed into all that is.

Bless the body.

Bless the blood.

Bless the heartbeat.

Bless the plants and trees and flowers and small creatures that give us pure, big, joy.

Goddess protect the children from harm through all Mothers and Fathers that honor you…and dispel The Sleep Walking Takers like so many rocks falling into the sea where they too can be transformed by the waves, the salt, and the seaweed given to all as a good gift.

Bless Mother Earth that has given us every good, perfect thing as we travel this elusive journey of pain and death and wake up to Perfection.

©Lisa Townsend, 12/2/11

The sea

 

Are You Sure Your Body is Dense?


The Tao of PhysicsI started reading this book about 10 years ago, shredded through it and then dug through that. Fritjof Capra worked in high energy physics at the U of Paris, the U of California, Stanford U and Imperial College, London.  His Ph.D. is from the U of Vienna.

Being a bodyworker, I keep going back to my favorite section and meditating on the facts he puts forward because I literally work with this energy of my patient’s bodies every day in my office.  Keep in mind that there are 7 million, billion, billion, billion atoms in our body, or 7,000,000,000000000000000000000. My hope is that biochemistry and medicine will catch up to what we know to be true about the biological cell via quantum physics. We are seriously lagging behind in Newtonian Materialism and it’s hurting our species not to mention ringing up a HUGE healthcare bill that is only profiting the scientific materialists who basically live in the dark ages.

“Quantum theory has shown that all these astonishing properties of atoms arise from the wave nature of their electrons, a typical ‘quantum effect’ connected with the dual wave/particle aspect of matter, a feature of the subatomic world which has no macroscopic analog. Whenever a particle is confined to a small region of space it reacts to this confinement by moving around, and the smaller the region of confinement is, the faster the particle moves around in it. In the atom, now, there are two competing forces. On the one hand, the electrons are bound to the nucleus by electric forces which try to keep them as close as possible. On the other hand, they respond to their confinement by whirling around, and the tighter they are bound to the nucleus, the higher their velocity will be; in fact, the confinement of electrons in an atom results in enormous velocities of about 600 miles per second! These high velocities make the atom appear as a rigid sphere, just as a fast rotating propeller appears as a disc. It is very difficult to compress atoms any further and thus they give matter ITS FAMILIAR SOLID ASPECT”- Fritjof Capra, page 69-70

Our bodies are not solid; they are just spinning very fast! The speed of light in a vacuum is 186,282 miles per second so, in comparison to the sun, we are going turtle speed. My point is, when people think they are sitting still and doing nothing, the opposite is the truth. By breathing and focusing on your Qi, or how you feel and what you’re thinking, you speed up your vibration to create a set point of your vibration. That becomes your heartset and your mindset. YOU set it. If you don’t, and this is why the world is f’cked up, the world will set it for you by what you give your attention to. You set your vibration by meditating and it speeds you up. It’s when you run around in chaos that you slow your vibration down. Ironic isn’t it?

Now things go even faster in the nucleus.

An atomic nucleus is about one hundred thousand times smaller than the whole atom and yet it contains almost all of the atom’s mass. This means that matter inside the nucleus must be extremely dense compared to the forms of matter we are used to. Indeed, if the whole human body were compressed to nuclear density it would not take up more space than a pinhead. This high density, however, is not the only unusual property of nuclear matter. Being of the same quantum nature as electrons, the nucleons, as the protons and neutrons are often called, respond to their confinement with high velocities, and since they are squeezed into a much smaller volume their reaction is all the more violent. They race about in the nucleus with velocities of about 40,000 miles per second! Fritjof Capra, p. 73

Now we’ve got the pedal to the metal and are spinning at about 4% of the speed of light. It’s better than a sharp stick in the eye.

purple light body

 

 

The Heart is the Foundation for the Mind


Auroral Moon Flower

A worthy motivation comes from your heart. If you don’t feel you need a reason or you don’t have a reason or haven’t thought deeply enough about your reason for doing something, you’re going to hurt people and yourself. If you know you hurt people and still go forward because you refuse to face your rage, you’re creating karma for yourself. That’s called leading people astray while you’re hurting yourself.

You can tell by a person’s private relationships or even if they have them whether they are heart set. You can tell by whether they follow through on what they say they’ll do whether they are heart set and telling the truth. You can tell by whether they make a commitment to something they say they want. If they don’t follow through, they’re lying and don’t know how they feel. You can tell by if they “say” they care but their behavior is uncaring and scattered. All of this is dysfunction, so very viral and so very human. If someone doesn’t want to meet you in person and only uses social media, none of the communication is real. It’s not grounded in reality which is the body, and relationship. What I’m saying is taboo because it comes from the female. Women understand relating, bonding, the body, and friendship. Men don’t.

This is key given all the talk about Mindset and motivation. If you say you have a strong mind but then say that you hurt people or have a track record of hurting people, you’re in denial. That’s not that big of a deal. Most of humanity is in denial about the emotional trauma that’s been done to them and thus they have a closed heart. Most of those people don’t try to lead others though. But if you claim to be teaching people, you need to do something about your denial.

You can’t escape to your mind and think you’re in control. Where is that rage and refusal to think about motivation coming from? How about a heart attack? Do you really need that to wake up? What about cut offs? Do you pretend you care about someone and then kick them to the curb like yesterday’s garbage? That’s a closed heart. That’s caused by a lack of forgiveness and trauma that you have not faced. It also translates into an attachment disorder because your parents were evil in your youth and are responsible for your scarred subconscious. I get that and it’s the human condition. I went through it too and blew it out of the water. You are still response-able to be good in your adult behavior and choices even though they weren’t.

Energy workers know that you’ve internalized the energy of your abuser, unconsciously, likely a fucked up parent who doesn’t deserve the time of day or rent in your head and heart. Reiki will help balance that. The only way to get rid of them is to forgive them and sit very strongly in your own soul space. Do you understand how to really forgive? It has nothing to do with them getting off the karmic hook they got themselves on. The Universe will see to it that they get justice. It’s not your job. You get yourself off the karmic hook by forgiving them and sending them to the back of your mind where they need to sit down and be quiet. Your life and conscious mind belong to you, not them.

How? I realized my parents were human beings, very weak, not very smart and hated themselves. They had some good traits but not as many as I do. Our children do exceed us on the evolutionary scale and they’re supposed to! Then I turned around and made choices that made me the opposite and better, I got competitive and very rarely thought about them or saw them until I knew I was stronger. They weren’t going to win and it’s the duty of our children to think like that. Weak, hateful, abusive, scapegoating adults should not win, especially over children. It really is the mistake of smarter, stronger people who don’t kick ass that allows this world to get away with utter bullshit. We like to blame the weak for the trouble in the world but the truth is, those who love themselves, have the guts to speak up and lead and aren’t looking for approval have a duty to do so. Who else is going to really get change going? We have to have FULL integrity though and not make victim excuses! It seems to me that every human, given the opportunity, will offload their BS and attempt to victimize someone else. That creates karma. Don’t do it, no matter what’s been done to you.

I take all kinds of crap for being a woman with an IQ of 140, an Aries, competitive, a leader, and speak up when I feel like it. I only have a few friends and men are afraid of me and call me names even after they find me cute and soft, which I am.  I’m a good listener until you start sizing me up and getting it wrong. I will cut off your speaking. I’m also a courageous warrior which I can’t help. It’s totally who I am.

The cute thing wanes quickly. I really don’t care. Only one man has ever loved me; Michael, and he died three years ago suddenly, so, death is a reality and men tend to drop over, women. Women need to have their own security in place. That’s earth.

I’m not in denial that it is taboo and not popular for super intuitive, intelligent women to say the heart leads the mind but it’s the truth. That’s also saying, women are the leaders on the planet, not men. Everyone knows that you can’t think straight or make good decisions unless you know how you feel from within yourself. Women know that. You have to understand your own emotions or your mind will not function, guys. It’s not good for your health no matter how ripped you are.

 

Stillness is Very Powerful


rumi in silenceIn a world that never stops spinning, talking, reaching, and criticizing, time has shown that human beings and other parts of nature that know how to be still and quiet accomplish much. Oprah Winfrey, Madonna, Arianna Huffington, Katy Perry, Mark Benioff, and Paul McCartney all meditate daily. Einstein basically practiced something called image streaming. The idea is that there are a bunch of images that are constantly streaming through our brains, no matter with what work we are pre-occupied. This image streaming can become a meditative practice if you either control the formation of these images or just follow them with single-minded focus. This means that a lot of his discoveries were actually just creative thought processes perceived intuitively.

The Yogi Masters Were Right

Action is overrated by those not tuned in emotionally and spiritually. If you don’t know any different you don’t know what you’re missing. If you can’t feel movement within or tune into the ethers, you don’t know anything is happening! Consequently, you feel the need to make something happen outside of yourself. I’ve tried to compromise with friends on this to try to understand them and it’s clear to me we’re at different levels of spiritual awareness. I stopped trying. The truth is, the shifting happens inside first. You can’t fake what you really think and feel. It comes through your silent body. Get help lining your energy up in your energy body first so that you’re sitting in your integrity when you speak and act.  Reiki is great for that. Those that aren’t observant or see with dim eyes may be faked out for a while but history has also shown that in time, people see the truth.

I was reading on my daily TwinFlame11:11.com site this morning and it was exactly synchronous with what I woke up and started blogging on today. Today the line-up on every level is good for tuning into the radio station of your inner guidance. She says, “True emotion is a messenger. It stems from an accurate, intuitive, response to energy. False emotion is a reaction to outer energy, things going on in the world and with other people, what we read on social media and TV.” The advice is to keep an eye on yourself.

  1. Am I responding to something I feel in the quiet, from within myself? Can I even hear it?
  2. Am I reacting to everything and everyone outside of myself in all the noise and spinning?

It is still very true that actions speak louder than words but so does inaction. A crucial decision is how much do we value feeling our own energy and spiritual guides or guidance than other people. I love being by myself and never, ever feel alone or lonely. How on earth, on this busy planet, can anyone ever feel completely alone. We are swimming in a myriad of earth movement that never ceases. Having to respond to the weather physically is included in that. Sometimes I wish I could just go sit on a star way far off this earth to really be alone until I realize that maybe that would cause me to feel closer to a swirling inhabited, busier Universe than earth!

There is activity everywhere and there really is no escaping it no matter where you live. You finally see that when you live by yourself whether it’s in the city or the woods. Living with others is only a distraction from the fact that there is no escape from the activity. It’s ironic.

Mindset


 

gardenIs setting your mind like setting a table or a stylist setting a woman’s hair?

Is setting your mind like writing out a flight plan or a travel plan?

Or is it more like a course syllabus where the content is listed along with the supplies you’ll need?

I’m happy to hear anyone’s idea. I’m seriously asking the question.

My idea of a mindset has to do with daily ritual or habit. I empty my mind daily so it can be set by the Universe which I channel. It’s part of being a spiritual person and a lightworker. I do take note of what I dreamt the night before when I awake and the vibe I’m picking up that day but that is not etched in stone and morphs with my response. The Spirit world or the ethers set my mind at my request.

Every single day, my heart is filled with great love for every breath I take, gratitude for my home and the very good skills that create my income, for friends that call and talk to me, know me, see me, and support me if I call them. My heart sets my mind.

Every single day the Universe lets me know exactly how my body is doing past how I feel because there is a lineup of energy there as well. My motivation to move my blood and muscle, to work out, drink water, and eat whole foods comes straight from Source which oversteps my own appetites that are subconscious and sometimes not the best. Our family sometimes program our minds attitude about our body and it’s not good. My body mindset comes from Spirit. My body awareness sets my mind.

Speaking of that, I daily have to forgive comments that are criticizing, insulting, controlling, self-indulgent and self-pitying from family members. If not, it will clutter up my very good, healthy, loving, self-care mindset that I’ve created to move forward. I also have a mindset of boundaries so that I can get my work done in light, not darkness. Family boundaries set my mind.

I focus on changing my body every day and know what I want to see so I look in the mirror and visualize that happening, like working on a piece of art. I see what I like and what I don’t like. I absolutely view my body as art. I also remember what mistakes I made in the past, over many years that put my body in less than the desirable condition it’s in and I realize what I can do differently and own it. In my case, it was giving my body and emotional energy to men and not myself in order to get something from them like a child, time, attention, affection and love which is not natural for men to give. Most women are taught to manipulate the situation or we get nothing we need. It took me many years to accept that that is the situation in our world. I visualize gender equity. Visualization sets my mind.

The rest of my mindset is to write and work on patients, to visualize money being deposited in the bank and bills being paid and honestly, it always happens. I don’t work for humans I work for the Universe and at the Universe’s request and my agreement, I’m being of service to the planet while I’m here. Therefore, my mind is only set to care about the opinion of the Universe not of society at all. My work sets my mind.

Every day, my mind is set to forgive my own mistakes, the mistakes of other humans, to never, ever, ever, give over my sacred space of love to others under any condition, to claim my power for good in the world and make the best use of my time I can while I’m here. Forgiveness sets my mind.

My mind is set on my own agenda and I ignore others ideas of an agenda for me understanding that they don’t know my mind and heart at all. I’m in charge of my life and my body, my money, and my home because they are tools for service; a service I love to share and offer to my community if they want to receive what I have to give. I set my mind and therefore I’m in charge of my mindset.

How Can Intuition Be Measured?


The Science of Intuition

These days cognitive scientists think of intuition as a set of nonconscious cognitive and affective processes; the outcome of these processes is often difficult to articulate and is not based on deliberate thinking, but it’s real and (sometimes) effective nonetheless.”

Intuition works in an associative manner: it feels effortless (even though it does use a significant amount of brain power), and it’s fast. Rational thinking, on the contrary, is analytical, requires effort, and is slow.”

Intuition is about the brain’s ability to pick up on certain recurring patterns; the more we are exposed to a particular domain of activity the more familiar we become with the relevant patterns (medical charts, positions of chess pieces), and the more and faster our brains generate heuristic solutions to the problem we happen to be facing within that domain.”

This quote doesn’t apply to the way I do readings where I’m dealing with a new individual and the person they are connected to. It’s always new energy; like meeting a new person so there is no pattern to their energy. The only pattern is the format I use over and over when tuning into their frequency.

This link mentions taking hemoglobin readings before and after hands-on healing. Check out the link. Below is a quote from it. Check your cognitive dissonance at the door on this. Just because something makes you uncomfortable you can’t say, “No, it’s not true.”

Psychic/Intuitive Healing

The healer for this study was Oskar Estebany, a Hungarian who seemed to have an uncanny ability to treat all kinds of problems by the ‘laying-on-of-hands’: he would simply place one or both hands on the person (or near their body) and visualize a positive energies surging into the patient’s body.

Estebany thus treated 49 patients, who were suffering from a broad range of illnesses; Krieger selected another 29 patients with similar problems and medical profiles who would receive no psychic healing from Estebany, and thus serve as a comparison (or ‘control’) group. When all sessions were completed, Krieger compared the blood samples of the two groups. She found that hemoglobin levels of ‘treated’ groups had increased much more than the hemoglobin level of the ‘untreated’ patients: as attested by an objective measure, the patients which Estebany had visited were in better shape. What was especially striking was that this increase in vitality was not just a short-term, transient effect; in a follow-up study, Krieger found that the difference in hemoglobin levels were still statistically significant a full year after Estebany’s treatment!”

What distinguishes these approaches from all other forms of cure – including those based on homeopathy, herbs, acupuncture, and so forth – is that psychic healing does not seem to involve any known physical substance or energy”

Well, it’s not known yet but everyone in my field can feel it as can our patients. It’s Qi and Love. That’s been known forever on Earth. Just because so many people are cynical about it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. It just seems to have been replaced lately by materialism and TV and it’s bringing us and the planet down.

But most Americans would rather spend $3.4 trillion (12 zeros) on modern medicine than cash on bodywork and Reiki as well as other holistic therapies. My treatments work if you stick with it and have worked for twenty years and I combine intuition with reason. I kind of wish we could get on with it here and speed things up. The money wasted on the modern snake oil and invasive tech is bankrupting Americans.

What’s the actual problem? Fear of judgment from ignorant family and friends? Keeping up appearances? If they’re ignorant, why do you care? Be smart. Use holistic services and be well and whole!

Autumn

An Addict’s Ability to Project is Prolific


My experience and intuition tell me that this happens when a person isn’t in control of their own body, habits, and life. It’s ultimately a health issue and usually tied to addiction. I grant that at the root of addictive behavior are deep emotional wounds, likely from childhood and unconscious or subconscious mind, and that we each want to feel better physically and emotionally and be freer. But at whose expense? It should be at your own expense. The rest of us should not be at the receiving end of your unwillingness to get some help. No one expects deep addiction issues to be handled alone. But the least we ask is that you not offload onto we civilians who are not professionals and seek professional help. I’m guessing there isn’t one person on the planet who doesn’t intimately know an active addict and it breaks everyone’s hearts; mostly your children.

It doesn’t matter how much you love someone or if they are your soul mate or your twin flame; the committed addict ruins everything. They have to use a drug to nullify their feelings and make every excuse in the book to use it and even break the law to justify it. Gee, what would that be? Civil disobedience to unjust laws that protect the public from irrational behavior while you’re on the substance or god forbid, you’re driving while on something?

You have to move on. There is no choice here or you will go down with their ship. It’s not worth it.

Alcoholism and other addictions are epidemics in our society and I’m so sick of dealing with it everywhere I turn. The weirdest part is when there is memory loss regarding communication. Even when you have proof of what they said in an email or text and they deny it. It’s unbelievable that someone can still attempt to pin a behavior on you when you have proof that they are the ones behaving that way. Goodbye. No trust.

I guess the definition of an addict is someone who is completely out of touch with their feelings and haven’t a clue what the truth is for them. So they go haphazardly through life, screwing up all of their relationships with friends, co-workers, employees, mates, and children. You would think that would be incentive enough to get some help but I’m guessing they’d just as soon stay in denial and lazy about getting a grip and fixing it. They have no inner courage.

Those deep wounds aren’t anyone else’s’ problem but theirs no matter how hard they try to tell you there is something wrong with you. That is the projection and there is no end to it. There is such a thing as an innocent party who is just learning that you are abusing a substance to the point of behavior change. Once we learn that they are not cogent, then it’s our responsibility to walk away and let the chips fall where they will. Otherwise, you’ll get into co-dependency instead of interdependency and that’s not going to help anyone.

Co-dependent is enabler and addict depending on one another to keep the addiction going. Health, money, structure, and life is in chaos for both. It’s a destructive cycle and no one is healthy or happy. All of your relationships are screwed up and most people who know you are mad at you.

Interdependent means you both are in charge of your own lives, know how you feel, express it, take care of yourself, have friends who like you and you like them, have your money and things organized, are able to say you’re sorry, and like any normal human being, have needs and want to depend on someone for support once in a while.

Let’s hope we can pair up with the people we truly deserve, not the ones we don’t.
Sunset-over-Sea-of-Galilee-tb102904518

Blessings


(I wrote this seven years ago but forgot about it.)

The memories of the past tumble down the hill like rocks and wash over me…

like so many waves that crash on the shore

only to go out to sea to be mixed in with the foam, the seaweed, the plethora of gorgeous salt life that heals and evolves all life.

The salt tears only last one minute to transmit my signal.

The heat, the pulsing in my muscles, the steady beat of my heart in the workout show that the source of being in my blood, my body, and my breath, given to me by this Perfect Earth will erase, heal, and forever dispel the smaller pieces of Earth that are to only be absorbed into all that is.

Bless the body.

Bless the blood.

Bless the heartbeat.

Bless the plants and trees and flowers and small creatures that give us pure, big, joy.

Goddess protect the children from harm through all Mothers and Fathers that honor you…and dispel The Sleep Walking Takers like so many rocks falling into the sea where they too can be transformed by the waves, the salt, and the seaweed given to all as a good gift.

Bless Mother Earth that has given us every good, perfect thing as we travel this elusive journey of pain and death and wake up to Perfection.

©Lisa Townsend, 12/2/11

The sea

 

Can We Love One Another Without Traditional Bonding?


It depends on how you define bonding which I address below. In spiritual circles, we say, “Love at all times”. So the heart is always open, to everyone and we are protected by Spirit and use our intuition as a guide so there is no fear. We still have to be discerning about how we express love. For indeed, there is no fear in Love. So, that’s the idea. Many highly spiritual people succeed in this so I know it’s possible.

Like all good ideas, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t; boots on the ground kind of thing. When I put this to the test in my relationships with men and women I’d like to have a more specific plan since I’m a lover and a giver. My cup is always full and I need to empty it. That’s why I’m a giver. The last thing I need is more offloading, vampires, users, fakers and very unstable in my space looking for love that they need to find within and can find within. That’s when my cup empties quickly. That’s where discernment comes in.

How can we keep a strong boundary as empaths and lovers?

  1. If you truly love the other person, you accept where they are on the Self-Love spectrum. Don’t rush in where angels fear to tread. Instead, observe their behavior. Are they intuitive with you as you are with them? Are they emotionally sensitive to you when you need a shoulder or a hug or just to talk? They can give to you if they give to their own Self. Also, how much do they talk about their family? Are they still enslaved by a toxic family and defined by their toxic projection onto them? This issue is epidemic. Reiki aligns it.
  2. Do you love your own body enough so that when you have sex, you don’t suck energy from the other person but just “share” who you are? If you truly love your body you will just enjoy each other’s bodies, you won’t feel the need to possess the other. The other person can feel it if you do that.
  3. Is your conversation and dynamic peaceful with the other person? Or are there feelings of tension, or one person does all the talking all the time while the other one listens. Do they ask you how YOU are or is it always about them?

Intuition comes into play here more than reason. Studies have shown that humans highly communicate through body language. Everybody has different feelings but it’s not others job to figure you out. It’s your job to figure you out and know how you feel. It’s called maturity and mindfulness. You are the one IN your relationship, other’s are not or should not be, so they are of no use coming to a decision, ultimately. Our friends can be a sounding board for our own feelings though. That’s what friends are for; not to tell you what to do in a relationship.

How do we define bonding?

  1. “I miss you when you’re not here.” You’re bonded
  2. ” I need you next to me in bed”. You’re bonded
  3. “I need to talk to you to feel secure.” You’re bonded
  4. “I want to be with you more or most of the time.” You’re bonded

The list can go on but it’s always, “I need”, “I want” like a child. As an adult, you are able to regulate feelings of need and want via your brain. If your brain isn’t regulating it, put boots on the ground again and get exercising, moving, eating healthy and drinking water. It’s that simple. Just do it and stop pondering it.

I think bonded is a misnomer. I’d say you’re latched on, like a baby breastfeeding on its mother or a small child getting the affirmation and attention that they need from their father. All of this is the subconscious mind repeating unresolved patterns with the birth parents. That’s the main problem in our society. We need to release subconscious programming and become adults in our conscious program that we design for ourselves.

Can women keep their feelings during sex and not bond? How?

Realize that your feelings are for yourself. The man is barely absorbing them or feeling them anyway because all he feels is your body. While it’s true that the body is your feelings and thoughts, being mentally aware of your feelings is a higher level of cognition that women have. Most men don’t have it. They haven’t evolved the skill of knowing how they feel past being hungry or horny. It’s unbelievable to women but it reminds me of Hermione in Harry Potter when she referred to Ron as having the emotional range of a teaspoon. And it’s unfair for women to expect most men to be any different. That’s like asking women not to have breasts. Of course, we have breasts. It’s natural.

I would say “Yes”, we can love one another without traditional bonding but it’s not realistic to expect others to be able to. 98% of humans bond to one another and thus we have all the problems that we do on earth. People follow each other instead of their inner knowing. I personally think we need to grow past that but I certainly don’t expect it. True unity happens when we are all naturally sitting in our center. The fact is, we’re already bonded with all of life in the physical as one big family of Life. Just relax into that instead of adding another layer of latching on.