Mindset


 

gardenIs setting your mind like setting a table or a stylist setting a woman’s hair?

Is setting your mind like writing out a flight plan or a travel plan?

Or is it more like a course syllabus where the content is listed along with the supplies you’ll need?

I’m happy to hear anyone’s idea. I’m seriously asking the question.

My idea of a mindset has to do with daily ritual or habit. I empty my mind daily so it can be set by the Universe which I channel. It’s part of being a spiritual person and a lightworker. I do take note of what I dreamt the night before when I awake and the vibe I’m picking up that day but that is not etched in stone and morphs with my response. The Spirit world or the ethers set my mind at my request.

Every single day, my heart is filled with great love for every breath I take, gratitude for my home and the very good skills that create my income, for friends that call and talk to me, know me, see me, and support me if I call them. My heart sets my mind.

Every single day the Universe lets me know exactly how my body is doing past how I feel because there is a lineup of energy there as well. My motivation to move my blood and muscle, to work out, drink water, and eat whole foods comes straight from Source which oversteps my own appetites that are subconscious and sometimes not the best. Our family sometimes program our minds attitude about our body and it’s not good. My body mindset comes from Spirit. My body awareness sets my mind.

Speaking of that, I daily have to forgive comments that are criticizing, insulting, controlling, self-indulgent and self-pitying from family members. If not, it will clutter up my very good, healthy, loving, self-care mindset that I’ve created to move forward. I also have a mindset of boundaries so that I can get my work done in light, not darkness. Family boundaries set my mind.

I focus on changing my body every day and know what I want to see so I look in the mirror and visualize that happening, like working on a piece of art. I see what I like and what I don’t like. I absolutely view my body as art. I also remember what mistakes I made in the past, over many years that put my body in less than the desirable condition it’s in and I realize what I can do differently and own it. In my case, it was giving my body and emotional energy to men and not myself in order to get something from them like a child, time, attention, affection and love which is not natural for men to give. Most women are taught to manipulate the situation or we get nothing we need. It took me many years to accept that that is the situation in our world. I visualize gender equity. Visualization sets my mind.

The rest of my mindset is to write and work on patients, to visualize money being deposited in the bank and bills being paid and honestly, it always happens. I don’t work for humans I work for the Universe and at the Universe’s request and my agreement, I’m being of service to the planet while I’m here. Therefore, my mind is only set to care about the opinion of the Universe not of society at all. My work sets my mind.

Every day, my mind is set to forgive my own mistakes, the mistakes of other humans, to never, ever, ever, give over my sacred space of love to others under any condition, to claim my power for good in the world and make the best use of my time I can while I’m here. Forgiveness sets my mind.

My mind is set on my own agenda and I ignore others ideas of an agenda for me understanding that they don’t know my mind and heart at all. I’m in charge of my life and my body, my money, and my home because they are tools for service; a service I love to share and offer to my community if they want to receive what I have to give. I set my mind and therefore I’m in charge of my mindset.

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Male Intuition and the Sacred Masculine


I feel like apologizing for always blogging on the feminine intuition, feminist issues and the need for women to empower themselves in the midst of the patriarchal paradigm by using their intuition. But I’m not going to because…I’m a woman! I don’t have a man’s perspective on what it means to be a man right now in the patriarchal system.  What I do know is there is still a tremendous amount of unequal power for both men and women, Guys have rough patches too but I’m not sure they know how to express it as well as women. We have the communication advantage in our brains.

Nevertheless, I had a very significant dream last night that is leading me to blog on this difficult topic.  It does segue into the Twin Flame phenomenon too because the Twin Flame journey is all about spiritual ascension or spiritual maturing for both parties. It doesn’t have to be heterosexual but in my case it is.

I remember the details of what I was dreaming most of the night and it was run of the mill, nothing exciting; just my mind letting go of habits is what I surmised. Then, a very big, black crow that seemed very real, not ethereal like the rest of the dream, showed up right next to me in my house and quickly flew away with the help of another woman shewing him away. He was pretty big and very alive. I felt no death whatsoever around this bird. He was powerful. This crow was grounded and had his own ways but I was very surprised as soon as I saw him in the house and said, “How did this crow get in here?!” The other woman knew a bird like that should not be in the house and helped me get rid of it.

Now as I’m writing, the crow felt shamanistic or deeply masculine, the cave, and the dark which in my tradition, we usually ascribe to the feminine because of the dark of the womb, the seed, the egg, gestation, the womb, and birth. Male energy is usually the light of the Mind. Everything is shifting right now on the planet and I believe this dream was a harbinger of the sacred masculine balanced with the sacred feminine coming forward. Indeed, that is what the Twin Flame journey is about. Males and females are both light and dark, yin and yang, male and female. We’ve always said that in my field but it’s never actually manifested in our institutions on this planet! That’s been the problem.

This is similar to the actual, real-life appearance of a raccoon in the open skylight on the roof of the cottage in which I was staying in California three weeks ago. He was trying to come in and I had to quickly close the skylight. Both of these animals are totems or archetypes for Blue Monkey in the Mayan System or a Trickster, creator, and mover. It is play, illusion, and magic. But Crow is also a Blue Eagle archetype which is creativity, mind, and vision. They are both Blue so they are closely related in energy. Blue kin is all about transformation. I am definitely doing that right now!

When looking at yin-yang energy, it’s easy to characterize it in a good vs. bad dichotomy. Females are valued and rewarded for being good, warm, loving, small and nurturing and are punished for being bad girls, big, strong, powerful, hypersexual and are slut-shamed. Males are valued for being aggressive (within reason depending on the context), protective, mean (also depending on the context), bad, rebellious, and rampaging anything that’s big! They are punished for being too small, fearful, wimpy, emotional, indecisive and more. These aspects are still entrenched in our system.

As we all know now, in 2018, this is B.S.! Women and men absolutely do share all of these traits and swap them around when they feel like it. God bless America! In our country, we truly do believe human beings have the right to express their true feelings and sexuality even if we don’t rock it in public yet. Everyone still has their secrets.

None of those traits are ascribed in stone to either sex anymore and those that do are so un-hip. Right? On the surface, most women and men still try to rock those boxes but we’re really not supposed to anymore and the younger generation will get in your face about it. My nineteen-year-old hates it when I classify the genders in those boxes. Yet, look at all the leading sports programs, politics, and all the television shows. Men are still very dominant and portrayed in those boxes. It’s a function of patriarchy. Women are seeping in only slowly (female sportscasters) and when they do, they have to act somewhat masculine or just are that way to be socially acceptable! The women can’t act very feminine yet. It’s taboo.

Where is the sacred masculine in all of this? The earth. The ways of nature are male and female. Whenever the natural forces of procreation are challenged, the powerful earth energy steps in. Strong drumming evokes the balance of the male/female energies in sex and alignment, equally! The earth loves her daughters and her sons equally and wants them to walk together in balance on her. It’s only humans all over the world that still prefer sons. Men who love and take care of their bodies, who honor their strong feelings and inclinations, who are creative souls and express themselves in their art, who still want to fuck with abandon and feel no shame just like the animals and the insects.

Men are men and women are women. But we are more similar than different by nature and we both can embody bad and good traits without judgment if we just loosen up those boundaries and deeply feel our bodies and drop the definitions of who we are by Church, state, and media. And we both need to love ourselves as we are.

You have to see this. Trust me, you will dig it! Just click.

Drumming Group-Very cool!

You won’t believe this woman. She is very talented and super beautiful.

Cassandra Fox Belly Dancing. Unbelievable

 

 

 

 

 

How Can Intuition Be Measured?


The Science of Intuition

These days cognitive scientists think of intuition as a set of nonconscious cognitive and affective processes; the outcome of these processes is often difficult to articulate and is not based on deliberate thinking, but it’s real and (sometimes) effective nonetheless.”

Intuition works in an associative manner: it feels effortless (even though it does use a significant amount of brain power), and it’s fast. Rational thinking, on the contrary, is analytical, requires effort, and is slow.”

Intuition is about the brain’s ability to pick up on certain recurring patterns; the more we are exposed to a particular domain of activity the more familiar we become with the relevant patterns (medical charts, positions of chess pieces), and the more and faster our brains generate heuristic solutions to the problem we happen to be facing within that domain.”

This quote doesn’t apply to the way I do readings where I’m dealing with a new individual and the person they are connected to. It’s always new energy; like meeting a new person so there is no pattern to their energy. The only pattern is the format I use over and over when tuning into their frequency.

This link mentions taking hemoglobin readings before and after hands-on healing. Check out the link. Below is a quote from it. Check your cognitive dissonance at the door on this. Just because something makes you uncomfortable you can’t say, “No, it’s not true.”

Psychic/Intuitive Healing

The healer for this study was Oskar Estebany, a Hungarian who seemed to have an uncanny ability to treat all kinds of problems by the ‘laying-on-of-hands’: he would simply place one or both hands on the person (or near their body) and visualize a positive energies surging into the patient’s body.

Estebany thus treated 49 patients, who were suffering from a broad range of illnesses; Krieger selected another 29 patients with similar problems and medical profiles who would receive no psychic healing from Estebany, and thus serve as a comparison (or ‘control’) group. When all sessions were completed, Krieger compared the blood samples of the two groups. She found that hemoglobin levels of ‘treated’ groups had increased much more than the hemoglobin level of the ‘untreated’ patients: as attested by an objective measure, the patients which Estebany had visited were in better shape. What was especially striking was that this increase in vitality was not just a short-term, transient effect; in a follow-up study, Krieger found that the difference in hemoglobin levels were still statistically significant a full year after Estebany’s treatment!”

What distinguishes these approaches from all other forms of cure – including those based on homeopathy, herbs, acupuncture, and so forth – is that psychic healing does not seem to involve any known physical substance or energy”

Well, it’s not known yet but everyone in my field can feel it as can our patients. It’s Qi and Love. That’s been known forever on Earth. Just because so many people are cynical about it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. It just seems to have been replaced lately by materialism and TV and it’s bringing us and the planet down.

But most Americans would rather spend $3.4 trillion (12 zeros) on modern medicine than cash on bodywork and Reiki as well as other holistic therapies. My treatments work if you stick with it and have worked for twenty years and I combine intuition with reason. I kind of wish we could get on with it here and speed things up. The money wasted on the modern snake oil and invasive tech is bankrupting Americans.

What’s the actual problem? Fear of judgment from ignorant family and friends? Keeping up appearances? If they’re ignorant, why do you care? Be smart. Use holistic services and be well and whole!

Autumn

Shaming Intimate Human Feeling as a Tool of Patriarchy; Separation and Control


Why Patriarchy Is Not About Men

By Miki Kashtan Ph.D. says, 

In the European historical lineage, which later affected many other cultures through colonial contact, the shift to separation and control coincided with making paternity central. (Instead of matrilineal descent) How paternity came to be central after it wasn’t for 97% of the existence of Homo Sapiens is way beyond what a blog post can address. What is important to note, though, is that once paternity becomes important, controlling women is inevitable, because only by controlling women can it be reliably known who the father is. There is an irreducible distance between the biological father and the offspring that can only be eliminated fully by imprisoning a woman and preventing any other man from having access to her. This is why patriarchal societies by necessity become societies of control and separation. We have become so habituated to this state of affairs that most of us don’t even see that it is our own creation.”

I have three sources that I’ve referred to in learning about matriarchy or matrilineal kinship over the last few years. Matriarchy preceded patriarchy by about ten thousand years it is believed, by studying archeological finds all over the world. Right here at the beginning, I will once again state that it is my great wish for gender equity in private and in public, not re-visiting matriarchal dominance in our modern society or in our homes. Keep in mind that the family is also an institution. Women and men need to share power equally in all of our institutions or frankly, those institutions will disintegrate under the influence of excess testosterone seen mostly in militarism. At the grassroot level in the home, it manifests as domestic violence, lack of birth control, and disrespect for women’s feeling nature and consequently men’s feeling nature.

My sources are:

The Book; “The Origin of the Family, Private Property and the State” by Friedrich Engels

In this book, stages of prehistoric culture are outlined first as savagery, then barbarism and civilization.

I then found a lengthy article as a commentary on Engels, written by Chris Knight. It was: “Engels was Right; Early Human Kinship was Matrilineal”

Early Human Kinship was Matrilineal

He delves into the question; “Was the primordial human social institution the family or the matrilineal clan?” His conclusion based on science is that it was the matrilineal clan. In other words, matriarchy is not a myth; it was real. Here is another link noting their existence;

Five Matriarchal Societies In History

They are The Nubians in Egypt, The Trobrianders in Africa, the Palawan in SE Asia, the Khasi in NE India, and the Mosvo in SW China.

Kashtan says,

Boys are now brutalized in ways that girls are not in order to prepare them for positions of domination. As bell hooks says, “Learning to wear a mask (that word already embedded in the term ‘masculinity’) is the first lesson in patriarchal masculinity that a boy learns. He learns that his core feelings cannot be expressed if they do not conform to the acceptable behaviors sexism defines as male. Asked to give up the true self in order to realize the patriarchal ideal, boys learn self-betrayal early and are rewarded for these acts of soul murder.” (bell hooks, The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love)”

When human feeling is shamed, the body is shamed. The body is one with the Mind which consists of thoughts and feelings and the Spirit. Thus, in holism, we say “Mind, Body, Spirit” and this is our paradigm shift in this current day and age. It is my life’s work for the last twenty years. In my estimation,

*We are up against the degradation of intuition on the part of patriarchal institutions of Church and State, even though it’s widely known that our greatest scientists and artists were very balanced in intuition and rational thinking. The two combined are the higher mind.

*We are up against Newtonian Mechanics and reductionist philosophy still taught in most of our medical schools shoring up the failing western health care system. (Is your body really a car? No) Quantum Physics is more accurate now.

*We are up against Artificial Intelligence (A.I.) and technology being put on a pedestal of machine learning that supposedly transcends the dregs of humanities ability with blood, muscle, and effort to get the job done. In other words, Real Intelligence is pitted against Artificial Intelligence.

*We are pitted against a worldwide media that portrays human beauty in a very small box and everyone else should be replaced by a machine. This is once again, the degradation of the human body.

They can’t get into EVERY corner of our private lives. We can restrict the invasion of our privacy in our own homes, make different choices, keep having sex the way we want to, with whomever we want to, or intimate relationships before sex the way we need to. We can keep sharing our authentic feelings one on one with friends and family. We can be kind to one another whenever possible.  We can practice holistic medicine, only visit the doctor in an emergency, boycott health insurance and take care of our body ourselves with effort and with cash. In all of those ways, we can realize that we are real humans with a lineage that is universal; not matrilineal or patrilineal based only on our birth family or DNA.

Earth in a Spiral

An Addict’s Ability to Project is Prolific


My experience and intuition tell me that this happens when a person isn’t in control of their own body, habits, and life. It’s ultimately a health issue and usually tied to addiction. I grant that at the root of addictive behavior are deep emotional wounds, likely from childhood and unconscious or subconscious mind, and that we each want to feel better physically and emotionally and be freer. But at whose expense? It should be at your own expense. The rest of us should not be at the receiving end of your unwillingness to get some help. No one expects deep addiction issues to be handled alone. But the least we ask is that you not offload onto we civilians who are not professionals and seek professional help. I’m guessing there isn’t one person on the planet who doesn’t intimately know an active addict and it breaks everyone’s hearts; mostly your children.

It doesn’t matter how much you love someone or if they are your soul mate or your twin flame; the committed addict ruins everything. They have to use a drug to nullify their feelings and make every excuse in the book to use it and even break the law to justify it. Gee, what would that be? Civil disobedience to unjust laws that protect the public from irrational behavior while you’re on the substance or god forbid, you’re driving while on something?

You have to move on. There is no choice here or you will go down with their ship. It’s not worth it.

Alcoholism and other addictions are epidemics in our society and I’m so sick of dealing with it everywhere I turn. The weirdest part is when there is memory loss regarding communication. Even when you have proof of what they said in an email or text and they deny it. It’s unbelievable that someone can still attempt to pin a behavior on you when you have proof that they are the ones behaving that way. Goodbye. No trust.

I guess the definition of an addict is someone who is completely out of touch with their feelings and haven’t a clue what the truth is for them. So they go haphazardly through life, screwing up all of their relationships with friends, co-workers, employees, mates, and children. You would think that would be incentive enough to get some help but I’m guessing they’d just as soon stay in denial and lazy about getting a grip and fixing it. They have no inner courage.

Those deep wounds aren’t anyone else’s’ problem but theirs no matter how hard they try to tell you there is something wrong with you. That is the projection and there is no end to it. There is such a thing as an innocent party who is just learning that you are abusing a substance to the point of behavior change. Once we learn that they are not cogent, then it’s our responsibility to walk away and let the chips fall where they will. Otherwise, you’ll get into co-dependency instead of interdependency and that’s not going to help anyone.

Co-dependent is enabler and addict depending on one another to keep the addiction going. Health, money, structure, and life is in chaos for both. It’s a destructive cycle and no one is healthy or happy. All of your relationships are screwed up and most people who know you are mad at you.

Interdependent means you both are in charge of your own lives, know how you feel, express it, take care of yourself, have friends who like you and you like them, have your money and things organized, are able to say you’re sorry, and like any normal human being, have needs and want to depend on someone for support once in a while.

Let’s hope we can pair up with the people we truly deserve, not the ones we don’t.
Sunset-over-Sea-of-Galilee-tb102904518

How Do Humans Turn Intuition into Knowing?


Turn off the outside disturbances, carve out silent alone time for yourself, workout, love your body, do yoga, and plan a vegetarian or vegan way of life. Make a list of friends who are loving and friends who are toxic and make some decisions. That’s a start!

What I observe about 98% of humans is that they pay FAR more attention to the media, material concerns, and others than they do to their own body, how it feels, what they are feeling emotionally and what direction their heading in. They live on automatic pilot and let their lives be dictated by everyone else. Under those conditions, you’re not going to hear or see anything! You’re sleepwalking through life and likely abusing some kind of drug. That’s the other thing is my brain is completely sober so I go through life extremely mindful.

Your real life doesn’t begin until you can feel your own body, feel your feelings, hear your thoughts, and become aware of your habits. If you care more about what others think of you than you do yourself, you’re off track.

other people

Personally, my intuition has always been spot on, ever since I was a young girl. That’s how I know something ahead of time. And then it happens…always. I absolutely KNOW what is going to happen and it’s always right, like the sun rising every morning. It’s very normal for me, and always has been, for me to get “a flash” like hearing something on the radio or seeing it visually as on a screen before it happens. Dean Radin, Ph.D. is a great researcher and writer on the paranormal and psychic knowing. He’s documented it fully. I like his book, “The Conscious Universe”.

The Conscious Universe

I’ve got one other post on this issue I believe. The other new piece here is that the biologists have found magnets in our brains. I believe, if they keep looking, they’ll find them all through the body in all of our cells. They don’t understand it yet, but I’ve felt the magnetism in the body in my office doing bodywork on my patients for 20 years so this is no news flash to me.

Magnets in the Human Brain Mapped

When I do Reiki I feel like my entire body is spinning in a magnetic vortex also. Back to the original question, how can anyone tune into their intuition and follow it? I’m not convinced I’m “gifted”. I believe it’s natural to all human beings. I don’t know what it’s like to walk around being someone else but I do observe other people walking around negative, doubtful, hyper-rational or hyper-emotional, and materialistic.

Pete Sanders, Jr. wrote a book called “You are Psychic”. I worked with him in Sedona, AZ when I lived there. He’s a trained scientist from MIT. He teaches classes on this empowerment.

You Are Psychic

 

Once you drop all of that, you’ll get the life you came into the body to live and it’s magnificent. Anything less is not worth living for…at all.

Keep trying and being honest, peeling those layers bit by bit until you’re living an authentic life. You can do it!

 

Earthly Security is Counterintuitive


When I look at those first two words together I see a paradox. Take Hawaii for instance; right now havoc is being wrecked by Kilauea. There are hundreds of examples all over the world every year and more lately that prove that our Earth is anything but secure. It’s constantly changing, just as our bodies are changing due to evolution; either through enlightenment which lifts it up or depression which drags it down. Both are choices left up to us.

Planning for entropy and dissolution may be realistic since that’s what we see all around us right? I only half believe what I just typed because of mass hypnosis. Group thoughtforms travel around the globe and become manifest realities in this hologram of time that we live in. I generally channel and watch them but never accept them. It feels a bit like being an eagle but I’m definitely not a predator. The gift of sight is there though and I often see things coming ahead of time. Anyone can do it if you’re willing to let your mind leave earth confines sometimes.

My intuition tells me that the way we experience aging, death, and disease is not in the least bit necessary. Being holistic for the last twenty years, I have facts backing that up. The problem here is barely anyone does what is called for to transform their consciousness in order to make the dream a reality. Most human beings follow each other, their upbringing and their friends to feel secure. I get that. I love feeling secure too until it hits me that it’s a dream made clear by events. There are no winners here under that paradigm. Like lemmings to the shore, we all go in and drown. That is counterintuitive as well when there are facts that can be transformed into knowledge.

We can transform our intuition about the Earth and our own emotional needs into knowing and accepting the facts on this one. There is no Earth security and we are deluding ourselves to believe in any form of it whatsoever.  A lot of people make a lot of money off of selling you delusional security. Sure, we all have all the insurance policies that come in handy, but when you’re on your deathbed and need to say goodbye, the bill that comes due says “How did you spend your time?” Did you spend it pleasing others and doing what they thought you should do or did you know and love yourself deeply enough to follow your passion and not need anyone’s permission to have a go-around doing whatever flipped your light switch?

Security doesn’t come from money, insurance policies, a good job, a thousand friends, or making sure you have permission to be who others expect you to be. It comes from knowing your own soul, your body, and giving yourself permission to be authentic. That is true power. You don’t lose any of that when you die because it’s not material.
a Great Tree

 

Let Your Heart Break


Why? Why should we let our hearts break?

Because the release of that hard emotion, the bitterness, the layers of cynicism and resentment of everyone who has ever wronged us, really badly on this dang planet where families are put on a pedestal and should not be, where marriage and love are put on a pedestal and should not, need to fall away so real love of who we are as infinite spirits can shine through. No one on this planet knows you as well as you know yourself so be your own best friend first.

I am no longer religious but I am spiritual 24/7 having walked, run, jogged, sauntered, you name it through life’s fires and have let my heart and body be broken to smithereens. It needs to happen so we are no longer ego-based, looking for affirmation, looking for our parents’ or partners approval, looking to please even some “God” who religions teach have these rules and hoops to jump from a book we have to agree with. That’s all incorrect.

The human body, the brain, the mind needs a challenge to grow. What most people call faith or belief is just intuition combined with a rational explanation. Christianity, in particular, has plenty of rational explanations for its tenets despite naysayers but then it falls off the wagon mistaking faith for intuition. Faith sounds brainless for people of rational reasoning ability, for good reason! Their faith makes them denounce Science!  What? That’s nuts. But Science asks people to deny what they feel and know, what their intuition tells them. What? That’s nuts.

What both scientists and people who sense, feel, dream, and know by intuition or faith have in common is pride, an ego and a sense of self or dignity. They want to be right, to be heard, not made fun of and taken seriously. Well, the people who think they’re more right than wrong don’t seem to know that hardly any human being on this planet is right about anything. It’s mostly a crap shoot. Humans need to be loved, heard, and validated. It’s like a baby crying for attention.

When your heart finally breaks and you grow up, what you really want to do is give all living things as much attention as you can. You no longer need to receive it as much because you love and take care of yourself. The desire to give to all of life, humans, children, animals and the earth overflows within you because you finally feel that you’ve been given the gift of life yourself for a short time on earth, it’s IN you, and you’re going to share what you’ve got going on. So let your heart break open so it can heal. That’s the whole point of being human, and it doesn’t last long so revel in it.

April showers

 

 

 

The Anima and The Animus


I’ve always been fascinated by the inner male inside the female (animus) and the inner female inside the male (anima). The terms were coined by the psychologist C.G. Jung.  It seems to me that humans intuitively know we each have those energies as part of our identity to some degree without over-analyzing it. Women and men are both female and male! It’s one of the reasons that the homosexual lifestyle really doesn’t bother most Americans. A Pew Research poll taken in 2017 showed that 62% of Americans support same-sex marriage. We all know that we’re learning about our bodies and our feelings whether we’re attracted to female or male at one time or another.  It’s no big deal as long as you’re honest with yourself in the midst of it and are careful of children’s attachment to parents.

I’m a trained actor with a degree in it, so I know how to have almost instant access to a wide range of emotions, and tears are super easy for me. I spent two years learning how to do that. But I much prefer laughter and happiness as part of my natural personality. Yet when I cry, it feels like a cry for the animus, the male in me that stomps all over my receptive female. My receptive female, all receptive females are beautiful. She is the bearer and producer of life after all. But is she loved and cared for safely the way she should be? Or must she always stroke the male ego to be loved, even if his behavior doesn’t call for it? If love from her partner is conditional based on size and behavior, he cannot say he loves her.  All humans go through hard patches where our self-esteem is bottomed out.  If someone really loves you, and has seen and knows that you have it in you to eventually come out of it, they’ll stay by your side, not bolt.

My experience and intuition tell me that it’s not terribly safe to be an open, loving, female in our society. Most women I know have developed serious defenses now and will even aggressively act out because there is no real equity and heaping amounts of bias based on gender! It’s very similar to unarmed black men being gunned down by police. It’s appalling and tragic!! Women are at about the same level and I’m guessing the stats regarding violence toward women would show this to be true.

Over fifty-four years I’ve maximized my intellect with education, developed firm boundaries in the public workplace (which doesn’t seem to make any difference), insisted on being treated with respect (sometimes it works), focused on my behavior more than my looks (rarely works), and become very focused and skilled in my work. Guys don’t like it. Once I hit my thirties, I learned how to be assertive and opinionated as well. The other thing that goes on is that as a pretty white woman, I feel no obligation to maximize my looks to feed patriarchal bullshit and make myself superficial to manipulate the system. I feel more powerful sitting in my authenticity. Women that aren’t as pretty compete with me or make sure I keep a distance from the man they’re pursuing (so weird) when I’m not even looking. We are so programmed to believe that survival in this planet depends on finding “our level” as prescribed by the institutions and the media that we don’t even know we’re doing it!

It’s not working. I’m still seen as a girl and treated like a girl. No matter how “male” a woman learns to act in public or how many letters she has behind her name with a high I.Q., she’s still paid less than a man and treated like her first order of business is to give something of herself to a man or his system for his consumption. I would never get a sex change operation just so I’d have more money for security but it seems like that extreme could be called for. It’s not unlike MJ bleaching his skin to appear more white. That’s how bad our society is for anyone who is not a white male.

Thank goodness I really love my work and do it very well because of all of my dedication and accomplishment. I work with the Universe who always has my back on this rough planet. If it weren’t for my intuition and rational mind guiding me, I’d probably be dead. I very much want to be alive so it’s a good thing.

Alone/lonely


via Alone/lonely

I was just inspired by Cristian Mihai’s most recent blog today about being alone. I shared the link above. Please read it if you have not. I actually just blogged on “I’m Alone Now” just a week or so ago too because my nineteen-year-old son just left the house.

I told Cristian that I related exactly to about eighty-percent of how he feels and I’m guessing many writers on here are introverts and love to be alone. But for me, it’s very positive. I never feel lonely. In fact, I wish I had longer streams of time, undisturbed alone to read, think and write. I’m still very busy in my home and have a small holistic business here so people are in and out. That may be part of it, I’m not sure.

I paused when Cristian wrote, “You can’t change how you feel”. Long pause. “Hmmm.” “No, he’s right.” I thought. “Feelings are organic. They just come up.” We all know that and it’s part of what makes us writers. But I have a physical process I go through that I want to share that turns my tears, worry, anxiety, sadness, the concern that comes up organically into feeling better.

I observe my breath. In and out. It is MY breath in MY body. I have complete control over how my breathing feels and how I allow my breath to reach my organs. I envision my blood pulsing through me. It feels very warm and loving. I relax my feet and make sure they are planted on the ground. I relax my legs. As a writer, I find immense joy and gratitude in feeling my brain and eyes process like a computer, my thoughts and then how my hands type. Then I stop and observe my breathing again. I am alive. I knew once and can remember what it felt like when I was almost dead in 1996 the day before my birthday when I had an ectopic pregnancy. I have this day, this time to keep learning and processing my journey in my body that no one else can control. I have control over this process and this moment.

So, I guess my technique is grounding. Think of a two-pronged plug that you put into a grounded wall socket. The two prongs are your legs and the electrical outlet is the ground; the Earth. When you inhabit and are mindful of your physical process, the chaotic, mean, death-riddled, unloving world can swirl around you unhindered. You have no control over any of them or their events. But you do have total, unequivocal control over tuning into YOUR BODY, plugging it in and turning it on and observing how each part of your body feels, not just the thoughts and emotions you tend to be running that day based on events, either theirs or yours.

I love my body so much for having its own balanced process that literally guides me and grounds me each day. Of course, I honor my heart, which has its organic emotional flow, but it…is…fickle. The heart is fickle!! At least mine is. Of course, I honor my thought processes. The brain/mind is amazing in its ability to digest and process information but the eyes only see what is visible, right in front of it in the light and believe only what it sees. The eyes only see ILLUSION and then your mind tells you it’s real. It’s a pretty good magic trick. The heart only feels immediate feelings and tell you they are real.

The body doesn’t lie. Your breath doesn’t lie. Just as sure as the trees know exactly how deep to push their roots, reach up with their branches, leaf out, drop their leaves and blow in a storm, so your body also has billions of years of DNA in evolution and it knows exactly…what to do. The same is true for all of nature from season to season. Nature is the truth and Life itself.

Our health care system, our society, our media, and our civilization would take that grounding, the Earth life force, Gaia in all of her eternal ways and consciousness and tell her who she is and when to do it, as though she were a little girl. They would control that vital physical knowledge for themselves, hijack it from you and tell the daughters and sons of the Earth that they know your body better. They don’t. It’s your body, your truth, your power and your reason for being on the planet. Let the wisdom and rhythm of your body guide your heart and mind and you will be in a safe harbor while you live no matter what your heart and mind “see”.

Our bodies are ancient and universal and intimately tied to everything on the planet. We are gods and goddesses in all different forms dancing our way through time and eternity just for the sheer experience of it. Our in-breath and out-breath prove it.

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Freedom Bound by Sculptor Paige Bradley, http://paigebradley.com