A Pretty Good Brownie

I had a very good brownie yesterday with the right level of height so that I was able to observe my trip pretty well. This was purely experimental as I am the kind of person that fully enjoys the sobriety of my conscious mind to do my work because I’m intelligent. There is no substitute for the satisfaction of figuring something out or learning a new skill, for me. It’s a big self-esteem boost.

If I were trying to escape my body or my life, weed would plumett my self-esteem. That was my first observation. The second was that I had a bit of paralysis. Not literally. I could move but my etheric body wanted to leave my physical body which pulls the qi that allows you to move, right up and out. I do that plenty when I sleep at night, I don’t want to feel that way during the day when I have work to do.

If you DO want to feel that way during the day you need therapy; body work, reiki, talk therapy; not medical marijuana. You’re in denial about your true feelings if you want to feel like that alot. That will kill you because THE BACKED UP EMOTIONS go into your cells. Pot can’t kill you, no, but constant denial of your feelings and an unbalanced life will. It also throws off your appetite and sleep.

I commanded my etheric body to stay one with my physical and it obeyed. Because I did, I was able to observe and remember my trip. It was like being in an airport; public and stupid, full of non-focused, chaotic energy that I feel is the bane of this planet. But what happened is that because I wasn’t interested in traveling in the public ethers, I went deeper into my physical cells. I love my body, as my readers know, so I tuned into that.

Markedly, I had no pain. My muscles usually ache because I walk and work out daily. That was marvelous. And today I’m in less pain as an after effect so it is very anti-inflammatory. My cells got excited the more relaxed I was. I heard and saw my spirit guides laughing at my internal awareness so that was fun. It erased all of my physical tension. That is possible with yoga and breathe work though too.

Well, I was out of it for a full four hours and the last hour just loopy. That’s four hours of my life I won’t get back. I was grateful for the body awareness but I can do that on my own. I was just neglecting to do it because my brain has been busy learning computer programming. Also, no one should drive while using! It’s no different than alcohol.

The last thing I have to say is there was nothing spiritual at all about a pot induced trip. It’s just a drug affecting the brain. I am a spiritual person and have had many spiritual experiences. It’s altogether different because you’re conscious and use your free will. The spirit world is real. God, the angels, spirit guides, Christ, all there to converse if you open your heart. I recommend approaching it only with all of your faculties and respect rather than hitchhiking and seeing who will pick you up. It’s not safe.

I don’t think I’ll be eating another brownie. I love my conscious life too much.

The Sacrifice Model Shores up Patriarchy

My last post was about men as subject, women as object and how that can pivot so that men are objectified as well under the paradigm of patriarchy.  That’s not something that most women are aware of. First, let me remind my readers that neither male nor female dominance in a civilization is ideal. We came from 5000 years of matriarchy which preceded patriarchy and now we are shifting again. My hope is that we don’t go back to the mistakes and abuses of matriarchy just because it’s in our collective unconscious ancestral memory. I believe women have evolved ahead of men but men have come a long way as well in 5000 years. The idea here is for humanity and the earth to move into our conscious minds, or reasonable mind engendered by the balance between intuition and rationality. That will then fill our households, the foundation of our societies the world over.

Gender equity or balance of power will lead us to less militarism, more peace, more great sex, and more love. Yes, I’m an idealist but some partners are succeeding. It occurred to me yesterday that when you have the subject-object system going, which is what patriarchy thrives on, both subject and object, both men and women are sacrificed for the profit of the 1% on the planet, even though patriarchy makes it appear as though men are in charge. They aren’t really. They only have what women let them have. Imagine for a moment the suggestion of “Lysistrata” coming to pass?

Lysistrata is a Greek comedy written by Aristophanes about women boycotting sex with men in order to quell the endless wars of that age. What if today, women all over the planet found the wherewithal to stop making porn videos altogether, stopped having sex with their husbands/boyfriends/partners, and halted reproduction until men got the message of respecting our humanity and not just looking to us for sex and food attention but as a friend and a mate? Maybe this is what lesbians wish would happen. There is a whole group of feminists that believe that until women take full charge of their body and stop sharing it with men, women don’t stand a chance of true liberation. I just ponder that in my circumstantial celibacy. I will say that it’s truly empowering to live alone and be in full charge of my body and my physical energy as a female. I’ve become fully aware of how much all of the men I’ve known have taken sex and food from me and how little they’ve truly given back. It’s not an awareness I relish and I’m certainly not saying that I believe all men do that.

Subjects are sacrificed to the 1% who in turn are brainwashed or socially engineered to sacrifice the objects. Men are “subjected” to the dictates of family, state, church, and corporation and sacrificed and rewarded for handing over the control of their heart and mind to that. That’s how Trump got elected in provincial, small-town America which is trapped in it’s subconscious, family-programmed mind!

Part of the purpose of the social engineering is to objectify and eat women for breakfast. Women are to be consumed; sexual consumption and food consumption. Men are not taught to see us as full human beings with a mind and heart but to overlook all of that, no matter how smart or successful we are in order to objectify and subsume us; no matter what. Her provision of children is only a mask for the man that makes him appear more socially acceptable to all of the institutions listed above. Let’s not forget that he is not acting from a whole heart and mind. If he did, he would be a damned artist or poet, drugged in a psych ward and living on the fringes.  We can’t have that frightful prospect, can we? I’m half kidding.

There are millions of men and women who are free spirits and see through the charade of civilization though and we own houses, pay our bills and mow the lawn. It does take guts to join us though and we’re usually not rich.

So you see the subject-object title is interchangeable. The subjects are also brought to be objects for the elite; especially in war (the honored dead, mostly male), in sports, and in corporate life. It’s incumbent on men and women to jump out of the subject-object roles and live a free life.

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“My Kite” by Paige Bradley

 

Earthly Security is Counterintuitive

When I look at those first two words together I see a paradox. Take Hawaii for instance; right now havoc is being wrecked by Kilauea. There are hundreds of examples all over the world every year and more lately that prove that our Earth is anything but secure. It’s constantly changing, just as our bodies are changing due to evolution; either through enlightenment which lifts it up or depression which drags it down. Both are choices left up to us.

Planning for entropy and dissolution may be realistic since that’s what we see all around us right? I only half believe what I just typed because of mass hypnosis. Group thoughtforms travel around the globe and become manifest realities in this hologram of time that we live in. I generally channel and watch them but never accept them. It feels a bit like being an eagle but I’m definitely not a predator. The gift of sight is there though and I often see things coming ahead of time. Anyone can do it if you’re willing to let your mind leave earth confines sometimes.

My intuition tells me that the way we experience aging, death, and disease is not in the least bit necessary. Being holistic for the last twenty years, I have facts backing that up. The problem here is barely anyone does what is called for to transform their consciousness in order to make the dream a reality. Most human beings follow each other, their upbringing and their friends to feel secure. I get that. I love feeling secure too until it hits me that it’s a dream made clear by events. There are no winners here under that paradigm. Like lemmings to the shore, we all go in and drown. That is counterintuitive as well when there are facts that can be transformed into knowledge.

We can transform our intuition about the Earth and our own emotional needs into knowing and accepting the facts on this one. There is no Earth security and we are deluding ourselves to believe in any form of it whatsoever.  A lot of people make a lot of money off of selling you delusional security. Sure, we all have all the insurance policies that come in handy, but when you’re on your deathbed and need to say goodbye, the bill that comes due says “How did you spend your time?” Did you spend it pleasing others and doing what they thought you should do or did you know and love yourself deeply enough to follow your passion and not need anyone’s permission to have a go-around doing whatever flipped your light switch?

Security doesn’t come from money, insurance policies, a good job, a thousand friends, or making sure you have permission to be who others expect you to be. It comes from knowing your own soul, your body, and giving yourself permission to be authentic. That is true power. You don’t lose any of that when you die because it’s not material.
a Great Tree

 

Physical Intuition Counts When You Fight

This is my theory anyway. When it comes to disagreement or a fight between partners, the physical relationship or sex dictates the way two people fight. This is a bit mysterious to me but I think we’ve always known that tension and competition between human beings are sexual. Right? It’s not particularly conscious but in a way, we’re all attracted to each other. I guess you could call it love, whether it’s heterosexual or homosexual. But which person we actually have sex with depends on those pheromones.

My intuition tells me that if a man brings no feelings to my body or his own body, and he feels he can mentally maintain the upper hand in a dispute, he would be incorrect. Feelings are more powerful and primal than thoughts. The body is emotions for men and women. I think this is why the presence of women in the public workplace is disruptive for males, whether they’re conscious of it or not. If they have no sexual relationship with her, they have no emotional connection and thus no real power over her. It is important for women to understand that love and feelings for a man happen in direct relationship to a woman’s physical body (sex). That is not the case for women! For women, feelings and bonding happen first through talking, communicating, VIBING (intuition). Then she decides whether to bring in sex which just adds another layer. Men need to understand that. If she is smarter or very smart, which women tend to be, she can dominate the situation at work where there is money involved. Think about that.

Thinking rationally is fairly new to human beings if not still novel! It’s wet paint on the wall of evolution, not yet dry. Humans are instinctual more than rational. Or you could view following your instinct as rational at this point. I’m not saying that scientific calculations are useless. But without intuitive calculations, they are not as likely to be correct.

Women can be rational and intuitive at the same time in a dispute. Men cannot. I believe women have evolved this ability as mothers in order to control our children. Rational thinking gave men a leg up in the evolution of the hunt so did they get lazy on intuition? Men’s intuition is an interesting subject and one I know nothing about. I do believe it’s there.

My point is when it comes to making an argument with your partner, the more your intuition is tuned into feelings or can read the situation, the more likely it is you’ll be heard and possibly even come to a resolution. Wouldn’t that be novel between women and men? (Sigh)

male-female

 

Let Your Heart Break

Why? Why should we let our hearts break?

Because the release of that hard emotion, the bitterness, the layers of cynicism and resentment of everyone who has ever wronged us, really badly on this dang planet where families are put on a pedestal and should not be, where marriage and love are put on a pedestal and should not, need to fall away so real love of who we are as infinite spirits can shine through. No one on this planet knows you as well as you know yourself so be your own best friend first.

I am no longer religious but I am spiritual 24/7 having walked, run, jogged, sauntered, you name it through life’s fires and have let my heart and body be broken to smithereens. It needs to happen so we are no longer ego-based, looking for affirmation, looking for our parents’ or partners approval, looking to please even some “God” who religions teach have these rules and hoops to jump from a book we have to agree with. That’s all incorrect.

The human body, the brain, the mind needs a challenge to grow. What most people call faith or belief is just intuition combined with a rational explanation. Christianity, in particular, has plenty of rational explanations for its tenets despite naysayers but then it falls off the wagon mistaking faith for intuition. Faith sounds brainless for people of rational reasoning ability, for good reason! Their faith makes them denounce Science!  What? That’s nuts. But Science asks people to deny what they feel and know, what their intuition tells them. What? That’s nuts.

What both scientists and people who sense, feel, dream, and know by intuition or faith have in common is pride, an ego and a sense of self or dignity. They want to be right, to be heard, not made fun of and taken seriously. Well, the people who think they’re more right than wrong don’t seem to know that hardly any human being on this planet is right about anything. It’s mostly a crap shoot. Humans need to be loved, heard, and validated. It’s like a baby crying for attention.

When your heart finally breaks and you grow up, what you really want to do is give all living things as much attention as you can. You no longer need to receive it as much because you love and take care of yourself. The desire to give to all of life, humans, children, animals and the earth overflows within you because you finally feel that you’ve been given the gift of life yourself for a short time on earth, it’s IN you, and you’re going to share what you’ve got going on. So let your heart break open so it can heal. That’s the whole point of being human, and it doesn’t last long so revel in it.

April showers

 

 

 

The Anima and The Animus

I’ve always been fascinated by the inner male inside the female (animus) and the inner female inside the male (anima). The terms were coined by the psychologist C.G. Jung.  It seems to me that humans intuitively know we each have those energies as part of our identity to some degree without over-analyzing it. Women and men are both female and male! It’s one of the reasons that the homosexual lifestyle really doesn’t bother most Americans. A Pew Research poll taken in 2017 showed that 62% of Americans support same-sex marriage. We all know that we’re learning about our bodies and our feelings whether we’re attracted to female or male at one time or another.  It’s no big deal as long as you’re honest with yourself in the midst of it and are careful of children’s attachment to parents.

I’m a trained actor with a degree in it, so I know how to have almost instant access to a wide range of emotions, and tears are super easy for me. I spent two years learning how to do that. But I much prefer laughter and happiness as part of my natural personality. Yet when I cry, it feels like a cry for the animus, the male in me that stomps all over my receptive female. My receptive female, all receptive females are beautiful. She is the bearer and producer of life after all. But is she loved and cared for safely the way she should be? Or must she always stroke the male ego to be loved, even if his behavior doesn’t call for it? If love from her partner is conditional based on size and behavior, he cannot say he loves her.  All humans go through hard patches where our self-esteem is bottomed out.  If someone really loves you, and has seen and knows that you have it in you to eventually come out of it, they’ll stay by your side, not bolt.

My experience and intuition tell me that it’s not terribly safe to be an open, loving, female in our society. Most women I know have developed serious defenses now and will even aggressively act out because there is no real equity and heaping amounts of bias based on gender! It’s very similar to unarmed black men being gunned down by police. It’s appalling and tragic!! Women are at about the same level and I’m guessing the stats regarding violence toward women would show this to be true.

Over fifty-four years I’ve maximized my intellect with education, developed firm boundaries in the public workplace (which doesn’t seem to make any difference), insisted on being treated with respect (sometimes it works), focused on my behavior more than my looks (rarely works), and become very focused and skilled in my work. Guys don’t like it. Once I hit my thirties, I learned how to be assertive and opinionated as well. The other thing that goes on is that as a pretty white woman, I feel no obligation to maximize my looks to feed patriarchal bullshit and make myself superficial to manipulate the system. I feel more powerful sitting in my authenticity. Women that aren’t as pretty compete with me or make sure I keep a distance from the man they’re pursuing (so weird) when I’m not even looking. We are so programmed to believe that survival in this planet depends on finding “our level” as prescribed by the institutions and the media that we don’t even know we’re doing it!

It’s not working. I’m still seen as a girl and treated like a girl. No matter how “male” a woman learns to act in public or how many letters she has behind her name with a high I.Q., she’s still paid less than a man and treated like her first order of business is to give something of herself to a man or his system for his consumption. I would never get a sex change operation just so I’d have more money for security but it seems like that extreme could be called for. It’s not unlike MJ bleaching his skin to appear more white. That’s how bad our society is for anyone who is not a white male.

Thank goodness I really love my work and do it very well because of all of my dedication and accomplishment. I work with the Universe who always has my back on this rough planet. If it weren’t for my intuition and rational mind guiding me, I’d probably be dead. I very much want to be alive so it’s a good thing.

Elemental Woman

Fire and Ice

Woman… fire in chains walking through mans’ ice storm.

There is barely anywhere for us to rest on pliable earth, caressed by dew-kissed grass and flowers and visited by genial insects and creatures.

Man is a covetous, territorial beast, contemplating a meal, food for his belly, something to drink, and metal coins, hardware and paper and food from the earth; animals and fruit. They come from her blistering fires too from which he creates.

He craves the warmth of her fire that never dulls and memory of the Sun before the ice came to steal human souls.

Suspicious of her, he does not understand nor can he control her unless…he loves. Her fire can melt or burn and he only steals some warmth for a short time.

A man who loves is a magnificent animal, one that knows no limits and has unbounded strength. He has the strength of the earth, turned from ice and the sun combined because he is the seed willing to lose its cover in order to allow Life.

He willingly takes her to him, feasts, shares, adores and provides a safe place for her fertile ground to grow the eternal seeds she holds from before the time of The Dragon. She holds them still.

But he cannot stay next to her for long or he will melt.

He tries and survival beckons his traverse, summoned by a great dirge of possible conquest and the illusions of mind and heart that he believes are real because his core does not yet burn with equable insight.

Frozen, halcyon outsight of a gelid wasteland is still his birthright.

The feracious earth was given to her as a prolific garden and she waits yet for his icy heart to warm the arable soil for her so she can grow the fruit of breakable man in virile beauty, not in frozen, acrid death and blood.

He is…breakable because he is mortal! The seed must be broken in the soil to become eternal!

She is still in unyielding chains, unloved, unprotected, terribly alone in her vital fire that cannot be momentarily extinguished.

The Sun gave birth to the earth, to ice, to Time and its incessant movement will not cease.

The erudite Magician has given him the wand with which to channel her calescent magic because her heat increases.

Time must move forward but the dextrous tools of man can only thrive if they are forged with the luminosity of her body, to tend the garden of the Earth.

It may lie fallow and untended unless the fire that man discovered can be born in him by tending to her heat. Then he will remain.

Until then he will die, just as he was born.

Lisa Townsend-written on February 17, 2018

Antarctica

 

Alone/lonely

via Alone/lonely

I was just inspired by Cristian Mihai’s most recent blog today about being alone. I shared the link above. Please read it if you have not. I actually just blogged on “I’m Alone Now” just a week or so ago too because my nineteen-year-old son just left the house.

I told Cristian that I related exactly to about eighty-percent of how he feels and I’m guessing many writers on here are introverts and love to be alone. But for me, it’s very positive. I never feel lonely. In fact, I wish I had longer streams of time, undisturbed alone to read, think and write. I’m still very busy in my home and have a small holistic business here so people are in and out. That may be part of it, I’m not sure.

I paused when Cristian wrote, “You can’t change how you feel”. Long pause. “Hmmm.” “No, he’s right.” I thought. “Feelings are organic. They just come up.” We all know that and it’s part of what makes us writers. But I have a physical process I go through that I want to share that turns my tears, worry, anxiety, sadness, the concern that comes up organically into feeling better.

I observe my breath. In and out. It is MY breath in MY body. I have complete control over how my breathing feels and how I allow my breath to reach my organs. I envision my blood pulsing through me. It feels very warm and loving. I relax my feet and make sure they are planted on the ground. I relax my legs. As a writer, I find immense joy and gratitude in feeling my brain and eyes process like a computer, my thoughts and then how my hands type. Then I stop and observe my breathing again. I am alive. I knew once and can remember what it felt like when I was almost dead in 1996 the day before my birthday when I had an ectopic pregnancy. I have this day, this time to keep learning and processing my journey in my body that no one else can control. I have control over this process and this moment.

So, I guess my technique is grounding. Think of a two-pronged plug that you put into a grounded wall socket. The two prongs are your legs and the electrical outlet is the ground; the Earth. When you inhabit and are mindful of your physical process, the chaotic, mean, death-riddled, unloving world can swirl around you unhindered. You have no control over any of them or their events. But you do have total, unequivocal control over tuning into YOUR BODY, plugging it in and turning it on and observing how each part of your body feels, not just the thoughts and emotions you tend to be running that day based on events, either theirs or yours.

I love my body so much for having its own balanced process that literally guides me and grounds me each day. Of course, I honor my heart, which has its organic emotional flow, but it…is…fickle. The heart is fickle!! At least mine is. Of course, I honor my thought processes. The brain/mind is amazing in its ability to digest and process information but the eyes only see what is visible, right in front of it in the light and believe only what it sees. The eyes only see ILLUSION and then your mind tells you it’s real. It’s a pretty good magic trick. The heart only feels immediate feelings and tell you they are real.

The body doesn’t lie. Your breath doesn’t lie. Just as sure as the trees know exactly how deep to push their roots, reach up with their branches, leaf out, drop their leaves and blow in a storm, so your body also has billions of years of DNA in evolution and it knows exactly…what to do. The same is true for all of nature from season to season. Nature is the truth and Life itself.

Our health care system, our society, our media, and our civilization would take that grounding, the Earth life force, Gaia in all of her eternal ways and consciousness and tell her who she is and when to do it, as though she were a little girl. They would control that vital physical knowledge for themselves, hijack it from you and tell the daughters and sons of the Earth that they know your body better. They don’t. It’s your body, your truth, your power and your reason for being on the planet. Let the wisdom and rhythm of your body guide your heart and mind and you will be in a safe harbor while you live no matter what your heart and mind “see”.

Our bodies are ancient and universal and intimately tied to everything on the planet. We are gods and goddesses in all different forms dancing our way through time and eternity just for the sheer experience of it. Our in-breath and out-breath prove it.

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Freedom Bound by Sculptor Paige Bradley, http://paigebradley.com

I Had The Most Beautiful Dream Last Night

It was a busy dreaming night so I don’t remember everything but I do remember the end and it felt so real. I can feel the difference between a wishful dream, as though my psyche is working out excess emotion, and one where it feels like it was really happening because it was a realistic scenario and the vibe between us was balanced.

Dreams come from the intuition; the unconscious mind and can be supremely helpful in facing some emotional truth that is not coming through in your waking life. To cope with life on earth, we have layers of psychological defense that keeps us from feeling our eternal essence; our souls.

We are born and raised in a specific family and one-third of our mind is literally programmed by our mother and father from in utero time to about five years old. I hate to tell you this but our minds were putty in their hands. This is a well known scientific fact. That’s why in my book “Healer” I talk about asking your mother what her life was like during that time and get details! So I questioned my mother about June 1962-April 1968 which was the time I was in utero-five years old. (I was born in April 1963)

Look at that time period! It was some of the most violent in our country during the 60’s. I was absorbing all of those hippie vibes and tumult in our society although I was fairly shielded from some of it because of the religion in my family. Now that I think about all the violence with the Vietnam war and the assassinations, that may not have been such a bad thing. But my mom said she was happy and domestic, they had what they needed and she wanted me very much. That’s all good.

So, do this yourself if you can and you will see the bedrock vibes of your subconscious mind THAT CANNOT BE CHANGED. It may help you understand some things. The subconscious also comes through in dreams. It can only be sent to the background of your mind though, by your choice, during your waking life.

This time period is so deep in me, I have to say it does form my essential worldview and I am appalled at institutions, government, all the societal bullshit that the hippie generation railed against. But I was an infant and very small child picking up these vibes.

Back to my dream. My unconscious mind found my twin flame through synchronicity a year ago. That is an amazing, specific, bizarre story in itself related to the art on the cover of my book. We’ve known each other for a year and have not met but have corresponded a lot. There has been an unusual amount of intense emotion between us I believe because our souls reverberate with each other so much. I was with him in my dream last night. We were living in a house and just laying on his bed talking, as though we’d known each other forever.

Twin flames are mirrors of each other’s souls and he and I have strange, specific, unusual interests and habits in common. He sees all of our opposites but they are supetficial and two sides of the same coin. The seeming differences are that we were raised differently, in different parts of the country, male and female. That is subconscious programming. We haven’t managed to send that to the back our minds yet and won’t’ be able to be together until we’re functioning in our conscious minds.

Think about this a second. Most couples are in a relationship with a dynamic that mirrors their family issues, the mate as a projection of their own mother or father, sister or brother. Most relationships today are based on working out issues of the birth family or the subconscious mind. That’s why they don’t last! The relationship isn’t created based on your true essence, PAST your birth family.

In my dream, my head was near his and I finally felt his lips. He has amazing lips. There was no…lust so to speak. It was like putting your lips on a leaf or something in nature that’s very beautiful in its natural state. I’ve…never had an experience with a man that reminded me of nature. And his leg was like firm soil, moist but ready to be turned in the warm spring for planting.

Then I woke up to this dimension.

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David Bohm, Quantum Physicist on Wholeness

For me, life in civilization (in the city) can become a grind. I generally do enjoy being an urban dweller, but like my patients, unless we release our fragmented perceptions of our bodies and life around us, it can become oppressive.  I don’t believe that life on earth is inherently oppressive; it’s our mind and our habits that are.

So, to that end, listen to the refreshing perspective of the truth of wholeness as articulated by quantum physicist by David Bohm. He really does call for an end to reductionist thinking where adults treat their respective fields of study like a kid at Christmas with a new computer that she/he wants to take apart. IT IS NOT THE PARTS OF A THING THAT TEACH US HOW IT WORKS OR WHAT IT IS! Actually using it and feeling how it works is the beginning of understanding. The truth is, different parts could probably have been used to make the thing whole anyway so why get attached to “the parts”? I encounter this issue daily as I work with people on their bodies, who continue to view it and feel it in pieces because of our health care system. Use your intuition and your breath to feel the truth.

I do believe that if each of us, one by one, can breathe, meditate, and sense our own wholeness within our body, it will teach our mind that very thing as well. That’s how life on earth will change.

Have a listen…

David Bohm on Wholeness