Self-Existing Vision, Which You Won’t See If You’re Looking at What Everyone Else is Looking At


Tone 4 is Self-Existing

The word “wrong” is a bit judgmental. There is right and wrong in the Universe but it usually applies to math only in an absolute sense. Almost everything else is relative to the outcome you’re seeking. That’s why there is no judgment no matter what anyone accuses you of or what you accuse them of. There is discernment though about a person’s character based on THEIR ACTIONS, not their words. Talk is cheap.

Do you know what outcomes you’re seeking in your own life? What are your unique traits and visions that you would need to work on to manifest? Do you have a vision for yourself? We can put in a request for our vision “for humanity” but we have no control over THE GROUP. Our biggest power is over our own bodies and minds. It’s ironic that that is the first thing we hand over to people we think are bigger, stronger, richer and more powerful than we are. They aren’t. They actually rely on us giving over our heart and minds TO THEM. That’s what politics and T.V. are all about; both parties. If you show or tell them that you’re not interested in handing anything over to them they will respect you and stop expecting you to obey them. Too many people are afraid of community police, leaders, and politicians. They’re JUST people who many times have done quite of a bit of lying to get where they are. They aren’t that powerful. The biggest power is to sitting in authenticity in your truth. It’s very rare. Artists do it and we are at the fringes of society because of it.

The Tzolkin archetype today is Blue 4 Eagle. It’s about measuring, forming, and defining our thoughts, ideas and visions. There energy is there for it today. Tone 4 is like a potter at the wheel or a music composer working on a score. How is it taking shape? Does it look the way you’d like it to? Eagle kin are independent, committed, artistic, compassionate, exacting, visionary, and technically inclined.

The mediating planet today is Jupiter for Blue Eagle tribe and that is in synchronicity with the Moon in Sagittarius. Jupiter rules Sag. Pluto aligns with Pallas and Jupiter tomorrow. We’re willing to invest our energy into solving problems and we can be determined to get to the truth of a matter. Avoid pushing your hatched ideas onto others. Sit with them quietly in yourself!

The 5D GForce is Red 10 Serpent which is curious at this point. I believe we are done with the karma of Maldek governing Serpent and Wizard so there may be a significant biological change with the amino acids Serine and Lysine in our bodies collectively. That is one to watch.

I perfect in order to survive. Producing instinct I seal the store of life force with the planetary tone of manifestation. I am guided by the power of space. I am a polar kin. I extend the red galactic spectrum

MOLECULAR LINE-UP IN THEMEPLEX

  • Blue Eagle in the center is arginine
  • Yellow Seed on the right is valine
  • Blue Monkey above i aspragine
  • Red serpent on the left is Serine whose molecule is almost exact with
  • White Worldbridger on the bottom.

Planting Seeds on the New Moon and Solar Eclipse


Today is both a solar eclipse when the earth passes directly in alignment with the sun to block it’s light and a new moon where the position of the earth is in direct alignment with the moon so that the light from the sun that usually hits the moon, allowing us to see it, it also blocked from our vantage point on earth.

One could conjecture that much solar and lunar energy is blocked but really it’s a very powerful, DIRECT alignment of the EARTH with the sun and the moon at the same time. It’s a reset point INSIDE of us, much like a seed that is in the dark of the soil, has it’s DNA packet and is getting ready to sprout. Humans are doing the same thing. The DNA/RNA SEED PACKETS for humans are the VIRUSES that humans have always been exposed to for a million years. Running from a virus seed packet that is helping us evolve forward is like being afraid of seeds you put in the ground!!! No one said it would be easy. It’s not easy for the little seeds we plant to sprout and expand either. Everything on earth tends to be struggle, for the animals and the plants too! Why do humans think it should be easy for us?

The purpose of this particular virus is to open our pineal gland and change our brains. Thus, if you’re relaxed, most of the symptoms will be in your head, eyes, sinus, and ears. That’s how it was for me. And it’s not exactly a simple procedure to clean out the pineal gland, (the 3rd eye) because of the toxins on our planet and calcification. It’s important to relax with this thing and let it change you. It is a novel virus but that’s because we’re in a paradigm shift. Our brains have to become more telepathic, enlightened, conscious, psychic, ability to focus and meditate; all the things that are actually normal for humans.

The media narrative of this thing is one more psychopathic hatred for the earth and humanity from our sick care system that has taught us our whole lives that our bodies are weak and bad and need HELP from drugs and vaccines. No they don’t. We only need the earth and an aligned mind and heart. Every natural thing that we are and are exposed to they cast as a monster so they can possibly bring Artificial Intelligence to the planet and hijack the beauty of the human race. It’s all a big profit to them as well. That’s a long story but they aren’t going to get away with it. Hopefully, pretty soon here, our sick care system will be done. It’s all lies.

This is solar system lineup but as we know, we live in multidimensional universe of True Time. Today is Yellow 6 Seed or VALINE, mediated by Jupiter. Yesterday was the Summer Solstice, the longest LIGHT of the year and it is a time of planting seeds. Not only 3D seeds but mental, emotional, and spiritual seeds.

  • Theme: Yellow 6 Seed; ordered, rhythmic growth targeting awareness
  • Analog: Blue 6 Eagle; balancing equality with independent vision, ALL people from ALL cultures who believe in themselves, dreamers, and the hopeful.
  • Guide Power; Yellow 6 Seed; Balancing equality with being a spiritual creator, individual potential, and influence.
  • Antipode; White 6 Wizard; Being receptive, psychic, listening, sensitive, aligned with Divine will.
  • Hidden Wisdom; Red 8 Earth; Modeling integrity, harmonizing within the ONE HUMAN RACE in order to EVOLVE in synchronicity in the Matrix. Red Earth are Earth keepers, crystal healers, free, and confident.

The 5GForce today is Yellow 8 Warrior. We harmonize in order to QUESTION. When we model fearlessness we seal the output of intelligence. The galactic tone is INTEGRITY and is guided by THE SUN.

THE MOLECULAR LINEUP

We are on microscopic levels here, like the virus, like very tiny seeds that then expand to the same order to macrocosmic levels. They can’t be stopped by anything, not even a mask. The mind has to be prepared though. In the areas where the virus is exploding again, people thought they were immune and ignored it. No one is immune from getting the virus. Everyone has to get it. Do you know anyone on the planet who has never gotten a virus? Everyone gets them. We have to. We’re supposed to. It’s nature. I marvel at those who profess to be environmentalists and in love with nature and their OWN BODY is not aligned with natural cycles, they are not whole, they are not healthy, they are not vital. Such is the nature of media programming that is largely unconscious in our society.

We see it happening again here on the molecular level as I always see and that is the Tzolkin Code illuminates the genetic code. It’s synchronicity. Lysine has more carbon on the left, arginine has more nitrogen. Otherwise, they are almost exactly the same and sit in the Tzolkin themeplex right next to teach other. If you follow this section, you can see it every day on here.

Yesterday I was studying Jose’s book “Earth Ascending” again and on page 29 I saw;

Earth Ascending in not a speculation, but a precise set of keys, a code, a matrix, and ultimately a display of the underlying patterns governing the conscious experience of LIFE on this particular planet.

These are the levels where the patterns are the same;

  • Radiogenetic
  • Human Form
  • All of Humanity
  • The Planet
  • The Solar System
  • The Galaxy
  • The Universe

It’s only by looking at the universe wholistically that we’ll be able to understand our own DNA and our bodies. The reductionist approach isn’t going to get us to the goal line. If Americans keep believing the media and the sick care, corrupt science approach but still claim to be tuned in, they’ll go over the cliff. I will too if I’m unconscious of something. That’s why I meditate daily. Our bodies have no limit.

Continue reading “Planting Seeds on the New Moon and Solar Eclipse”

Every Cell of Our Body has Memory


This just hit me 30 minutes ago as I had a trance nap. I was between sleeping and a trance state where I can channel information from the cosmic web. I’m forever trying to truly understand what our bodies actually are and as I feel and understand my own I can then teach my patients and followers.

The name of this blog is aptly named “DNA is Time” after my meditation that showed me that our bodies change as our memories change. Our lives in TIME are remembered, literally, through the cells of our bodies. There are actually some really good studies on this and if you’ve followed me for awhile, you remember my posts from Candace Perts’ Book, “Molecules of Emotion”. She proved conclusively, as an NIH cell biologist, that every cell of our body remembers our thoughts and feelings and that sets up the STATE OF OUR HEALTH.

Here is the science behind it;

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/12/091223125125.htm

For instance, I have asked my helpers to help me fine tune my vibration so that I can go back to the small size I was when I was 18 (size 7-8) so that as I continue on earth until I’m 104, my joints have a light weight to carry. I’m already down to a 14 from too many numbers above that when I was living with a man. I don’t believe in linear aging because TIME isn’t linear, it spirals and is endless.

However, EARTH vibration and environment is actually quite toxic to our souls and our cells. That cellular stress causes aging unless you have some kind of high tech defense. Add to that most people joining the group mass hypnosis and media hypnosis about aging and death and people’s minds are literally programmed to decline. Not mine. I don’t listen to or believe any of it mostly because it’s incorrect and not necessary. My intuition tells me aging and death are not necessary and millions of people agree with me. Every single religion teaches God is IN us. Death in physical is not necessary or they are all liars. We could just easily transition in sleep if we’re done here. I know many people think all the religions are liars but I think people just don’t believe God or believe in God.

As I awoke from the trance I had such a physical memory of my time with both my grandmothers, how much fun I had as a little girl, how kind they were to me and how loved I felt. There is a section about it in my book “Healer” that you can order on this site. It’s important to let those good, loving memories wash over you like a shower and bathe every cell of your body. I also remember the vibrancy I felt acting on stage in theater. It was at this point my guides warned me. If I go back to the beauty and vibrancy at that time I could be distracted by performing or attention I might receive and not get the other projects done I promised to do. Well, there are other happy sections of my life I could invoke. I’ll do an inventory. Nevertheless, invoking memories on your timeline changes your DNA. That was made clear to me. We are all walking holographic history books; our history.

I’ll ponder it, but their point was, as you bring memories forward with the feelings attached, those memories literally change your DNA and can make you literally time travel back to an original state or incorporate who you are NOW with who you were THEN. That could really be a temptation as I think about it. It could also change the past which would change other’s pasts! They were right, if I merged the two time lines! Have I lost you yet? LOL.

Someone once said it was dangerous to sit in the past for too long or to dream of the future for too long. That warning is because your BODY literally GOES THERE and you may bring changes that you aren’t consciously aware of, because you’re playing with TIME and DNA. Fascinating stuff. We are creators and have so many options on the planet. One of the reasons I’m doing this project is so that as we create and change our health system and bodies, we know we’re playing with fire and that fire is TIME.

Wednesday. Self-create or React? Act or RE Act?


RE-acting is mimicry. Monkeys and parrots mimic. Humans also mimic unless they are mentally mature. Babies learn by mimicking but adults learn by creating. Humans are addicted to mimicry because of a lazy streak usually due to unresolved childhood issues. They’re still grieving parenting they didn’t get. That ship has sailed. You can parent yourself with the help of the universe and rival your parents. Don’t you want to win? I want my son to win over any mistakes his father and I made. Self-Creating, self-generating (Blue Storm tribe), Acting is all ART and comes from your Magic Nation or imagination.

Think of these two as a teeter tooter where you are deciding whether to go one route or another. In this case, are you going to DIY and send up a plan in your mind or are you going to continue your normal REACTIVE route where first you have to pull in something from outside of you such as another’s idea, T.V. , Twitter or Instagram and react to it, or are you going to sit quiet or workout, meditate, listen to your body and intuition and create your own plan from within yourself?

We are each at the precipice right now. Tone 2 is stabilizing by polarizing. It’s a simple choice; Self create, or React? Self create or React? The first one is INtegrity the second one is wash, rinse, repeat for your entire life and wastes everyone’s time and resources and nothing original is added to the planet.

Self-creating and acting involves:

  • Body care-organizing fresh food
  • Physical Activity
  • T.V. OFF
  • Water intake
  • Hand held device-limited
  • Organizing your money and bills
  • Meditation up to an hour a day
  • Boundaries with people who vampire your energy
  • No large group activities right now. Stay away

All of that is stabilizing. Stabilize yourself and don’t look outside of yourself to get someone or something to do it for you. Your MIND, your BRAIN is a magnet that turns your body into a magnet. It’s literal. The media is trying to program your mind to give your authority and magnetism over to them. Don’t let them in. Our immune systems, bodies, and minds are the province of US and the Universe has our backs. Freedom and balance are universal law. We are supposed to be evolving in freedom and balance otherwise we’ll be programmed to go over the cliff. That gets rid of the weak-minded ones. They obey.

5GForce: Yellow 12 Sun; I dedicate in order to enlighten. Universalizing Life, I seal the matrix of universal fire with the crystal tone of cooperation. I am guided by the power of free will.

SCIENCE STUFF

Yellow 2 Sun Themeplex

  • THEME; Yellow 2 Sun is the Stop Codon
  • ANALOG: Blue 2 Storm or Tryptophan
  • GUIDE POWER; Yellow 2 Human or Glutamic Acid has the extra carbon-hydrogen molecule which humans needed to evolve once we were on the planet
  • HIDDEN WISDOM: Red 12 Cysteine or Red Dragon. Notice the Sulfur molecule in Red Dragon. The Earth began in sulfur and Red Dragon is the first tribe.

Monday. Communal Seeds being Sown? Tone 12


This is the amino acid VALINE

Code 0-19; ;16:4:12:64

Tzolkin Archetypes: Theme; Yellow 12 Seed, Analog; Blue 12 Eagle; Guide Power; Yellow 12 Warrior; White 12 Wizard, Hidden Wisdom; Red 2 Earth

The attributes here are universalizing, cooperative awareness using vision and a creative mind to become more independent, artistic, compassionate and believing in ourselves. Guiding this is becoming more trustworthy, realistic, wise, graceful with higher standards. Challenging this is becoming aware of what it means to be receptive and timeless, and heart-knowing shaman, more concerned with spirituality. The subconscious mind sits in challenging facts about the family and parental institutions that eat their young. But there is synchronicity and ability to collect synergy, govern the earth force, shield as an earth keeper and still be liberal and confident.

Are communal crystal seeds going to be sown today? God, who knows! I need about a gallon of coffee and water today to get some work done and try to ignore the idiotic riots yesterday. Destruction is so stupid. My son put it in a nutshell yesterday. “Mom, people are idiots. They don’t need a reason to destroy stuff.” I found it QUITE interesting that the two small blonde woman in Grand Rapids who broke windows were scapegoated for punishment on Twitter. They were the ONLY woman I saw trying to destroy stuff. 99% of the destruction came from men as it does ALL OVER THE PLANET. Yeah, we haven’t discussed that yet in society. There ya have the gender offloading on women. The men want to crucify the women who express their anger.

I’m a compassionate empath but I’m feeling my approach changing here big time. Just this morning, fifteen minutes ago I cracked how the the 64 IChing Hx system with the 64 HF Tzolkin harmonic is organized exactly over the 260 kin Tzolkin harmonic. Spirit is giving this stuff to me fast and I need to keep working away to get my book, “DNA IS TIME” written.

I’m fully aware that I don’t have a Ph.D. in science, I’m a girl, and it’s taboo if I crack something that only BIG SCIENCE MEN are supposed to crack. For that reason, all this work I do may lay in a gutter or drawer, or computer hard drive and never get used for the benefit of humanity. I don’t care. I don’t need glory and money…at all. It can be used posthumously then. I’m here to do a job for the earth and all life on it. That’s it!

I know for a fact, our DNA is from species all over the entire universe, humans are ONE human family, there is no race except THE HUMAN RACE and our Minds are stronger than food, money, stuff, reproduction, everything in 3D. Our minds are multidimensional and we are in fact gods and goddesses and deathly afraid of that fact. We would have to get to work, make mistakes and deal with outcomes. We create superheroines and heros in movies to project what we know to be true inside of ourselves. That’s us!! Even the gods make mistakes. GOD doesn’t make mistakes but we are not God. We are the small “g’s”. There is tremendous responsibility in that.

5GForce is Yellow 2 Warrior. That is stabilizing yet polarizing intelligence and FEARLESSNESS in the 5th dimension which is MIND.

Saturday; White 10 Planetary Wind; Glycine


The image above are Amino Acid proteins, the building blocks of all life in 3D. They are multidimensional and compose our DNA. White Wind is Glycine, Red Earth is Phenylalanine, White Dog is Aspartic Acid, Yellow Human is Glutamic Acid and Blue Storm is Tryptophan. That is the 5 archetype themeplex today. The attributes are Planetary focused (Tone 10) communication that is in full synchronicity in the Matrix.

The chaos is quelled guided by planetary Love and Loyalty. The challenge and the gift are humans who have free-will and influence. We are the holders of the chalice or the Holy Grail of wisdom if only we’ll drink from it. It is the vessel of Higher Power or God In Us. We can be responsible for ourselves and to some extent each other, straightforward, abundant and good workers. We see that played out in Minneapolis; shadow and light.

The Hidden Wisdom is Self-existing self-generation. Holy Pete! This is a mega liberator of the light body and according to Pars Kutay, we have big, big light and sound energies flowing onto earth today. Your frontal lobe may be buzzing. Just meditate. This is ALL ABOUT ASCENSION.

SCIENCE CORNER

This is some info. on the correspondence between Glycine and Phenylalanine which are analogs in the Tzolkin harmonic. Molecular biologists may find interest in this.

The selective barrier-gate in nuclear pore complexes:

“The barrier confers distinct properties to the transport process that allow selective transport. First, it allows diffusion-controlled transport of molecules up to 40 kDa in size, equivalent to ∼ 5 nm. Second, larger cargo are known to traverse the NPC in a nuclear transport receptor (NTR)-mediated manner.Mar 10, 2017

“Natively unfolded phenylalanine-glycine (FG)-repeat domains are alleged to form the physical constituents of the selective barrier-gate in nuclear pore complexes during nucleocytoplasmic transport.” Read the full article here: https://www.pnas.org/content/103/25/9512

5GForce today is 4 Tyrosine of White 4 Mirror. This is Self-Existing Reflection from the fifth dimension.

Today’s 5Gforce.


Today’s Sound Groove.

Counterintuitive; the opposite of Intuitive


I haven’t talked about something being counterintuitive yet but the word and the concept are well known in our culture. That’s a good thing. That means most people are still using their intuition which means they’re tuned into their body and enjoy it. That is nature and it’s far more powerful than institutional and societal programming. I get out of bed every morning still believing that and seeing it in my patients. That’s why I get out of bed.

I always write about intuition, which on my part, is a bit of a reaction to a culture that lies all the time. Everything in the media shuns intuition and makes statements and advertisements that lead one to believe that we and everyone around us are counterintuitive. They’ve taken it to such an extreme that when they say intuition, they mean their version of intuition which is against the natural body and soul. It’s gotten that bad. When the media says, “let’s be intuitive” it’s actually counterintuitive.

A perfect example is our sick-care system called healthcare. Most people are willing to hand over their body, their physical decisions, their physical awareness, and all their money to a doctor or health insurance. They’ve become convinced by the system and the media that there is no way they are accurate in their own intuition about their body. I’m writing about this here because it’s drastically affecting our BONDING to one another, sex, and intimacy as well as turning intuition on its head, especially now during this unnecessary panicdemic.

The reason for this is the ancient tradition of bloodletting. The worship of bloodletting underpins our entire human culture and has for centuries. It’s sinister and incorrect and I hope to point out the details here.

Bloodletting is such an honored and ancient tradition that it’s become part of most of our Western superhero movies, Hollywood, and most of our human rituals all over the world. Bloodletting is an important part of almost every world religion. In Catholicism, they actually pretend to drink the blood of Christ and call it transubstantiation which means the wafer and wine stand in the place of Christ’s tortured body and his actual blood. It harks back to the slaughter of a lamb in the Jewish temple ritual. Christ was not the lamb of God. He was betrayed by Judas who was Luciferian. He didn’t have to die. He chose to allow it for teaching.

Honoring the blood flowing outside of the encased skin is seen as “a good thing”. That’s a Jewish idea co-opted by the Christians. Jesus didn’t condone it, in fact, he railed against the Jewish temple traditions which included too much hand-washing. Sound familiar?

I hate to bring up an unsavory subject but drinking blood and eating dead bodies is Luciferian. What does that make Christianity then who has an actual ritual around it in addition to entrenched pedophilia? In addition, we carnivores blood let animals and then eat them and call that the best food on the planet. If you haven’t been to a slaughterhouse you don’t know what you’re missing. For that matter, a chicken farm could be a field trip too. It’s awful.

I’m not going to be a liar here and say I’m a vegetarian. I have been off and on in my life but like so many people, I’m addicted to meat. I think it’s wrong of me and like many addicts, I don’t want to do it anymore but I was raised around it. My family is very much carnivore and other bad things as well. They’re basically Illuminati and I’m no longer in denial about it. In addition, we all have a license in our society and even encouragement to bloodlet an animal and eat meat with gravy made from that blood! It’s up to each one of us to clean up our act and not live double-minded.

Then there are the hospitals and all the surgery and blood spilled in our sick-care system. As my patient who is a nurse said to me one day, “I would never want to be in a hospital. It’s the worst place you could be.” She works in one! How counterintuitive is that!??? Humans. My god.

It’s important for there to be a profit in our so-called healthcare system. Wellness is not something to be taken seriously and nobody wants anything to be simple, plant-based, and whole. It lacks conflict and violence so it isn’t sexy. Wholeness or holiness is from God and they don’t believe in God. They thrive on fear, abuse, and wrongdoing. But the SACRIFICE you make as a low strata citizen will always be rewarded like getting a Christmas gift from Santa for free, even though it’s at taxpayer expense.

There’s also the just war that has kept our economy going and governments funded for one hundred years. Blood spilled on the battlefield is sacred blood because it’s violent. A sacrificial war keeps our society going. We like all the nice things we can buy that are killing our habitat. Soldiers are a necessary sacrifice to have all of those nice things. Everything is a necessary sacrifice when the elite are Luciferians. But you’ll be rewarded, if not in this life, in the next.

When you go to work and you’re a loyal worker you’re sacrificing your time and energy for slave wages and yours is a necessary sacrifice. These other jobs that require you to sometimes give up your health, like being in the sick care system in the hospital and not being given the supplies you need are something you’re supposed to accept. It’s fine if you die because you’re the honored dead. The local news will make sure that you’re given that and it justifies your life so, just be quiet.

As long as you sacrifice something FOR THE ELITE, who are Luciferians, your life is worth something. They’re God? It’s for the elite, your bosses, authorities, the people in charge who tell you to go over the cliff when they need something. If someone HAS MONEY and POWER, that makes them holy? They are God, not you. That is the God of materialism and it’s not God, it’s the opposite.

We’re in a body to be alive for a time, for the evolution and learning of our own souls. It’s a gift. We breathe the air, live life with the animals and the plants and people we love, have a baby, have sex, and be free. It’s codified in our Constitution that some incorrect politicians and citizens would like to shred. We are free to work in a career that we are passionate about. We don’t need anybody to patronizingly tell us what to do with our bodies as though we’re children in need of a state governor who is a babysitter. Blood sacrifice is not necessary. It never was. It was edited into books and stories that way for brainwashing profit. Fuck them and the donkey they rode intrusively into our lives. Christ rode a donkey to his crucifixion. We’re not riding their donkey to ours and Christ never asked us to. They twist the truth and always have.

Justice

Intuition; Intuition Supports Reasoning


Intuition guides heartset.

Emotion does not guide heartset.

Intuition is the higher rational mind and emotion is like the wind. You are the airplane flying on Earth and you have to know direction and speed of wind. The air holds you up in fact!

That is the emotion and you have to factor it into your flight plan or it’s not safe. You can’t pretend the wind changing direction doesn’t exist or you’re insane.

Such is our world and women are blamed for which way the wind blows because we understand it.

64555-Paramahansa-Yogananda-Quote-Intuition-is-the-discriminative.jpg

Intuition; Intuition Supports Reasoning


Intuition guides heartset.

Emotion does not guide heartset.

Intuition is the higher rational mind and emotion is like the wind. You are the airplane flying on Earth and you have to know direction and speed of wind. The air holds you up in fact!

That is the emotion and you have to factor it into your flight plan or it’s not safe. You can’t pretend the wind changing direction doesn’t exist or you’re insane.

Such is our world and women are blamed for which way the wind blows because we understand it.

64555-Paramahansa-Yogananda-Quote-Intuition-is-the-discriminative.jpg

Essay; Sexual Shaming of Men


 

man-in-doubt

I’ve been thinking about this issue for about a year now but it coalesced last night when I read a quite long, but well-thought-out blog post on this site that made light of how many women absorb shame from men when we have sex with them. Before that, we’re fine, happy with ourselves, like being a woman, and like our bodies. I think women are getting better at accepting our bodies as they are and the media is helping with that. I know I am. There are more women of all different sizes on T.V. and in all media. The SIZE SHAMING, no matter what size, has decreased. More women understand that it’s more important for us to love ourselves than to please a man.

But, reading her blog, I immediately related to the experience of being mystified as to why a man I was with would turn pornographic in his tone, talked about how hot I was, did the sweetie, beautiful “speak” and then wanted to get sexually nasty as opposed to sensuous and intimate. My assumption is it’s the testosterone and most women consider it normal. The last lover I had said, “Why do you have to be so seductive?” “Me? Seductive?” I’m a chipmunk! What was he talking about? I don’t think he was seeing who I was; he was seeing who he wanted and needed to see. He was projecting. Women are individuals not porn stars and it’s objectifying to treat us like we’re part of your MENTAL fantasy, not a person in front of you. But again, I’m not sure men can help it because of the shame they’re socialized with. Their minds are all cluttered up with objectifying materialism which makes them feel better. Their feelings are stimulated by things; women’s bodies, food, cars, houses, boats, and on and on. I’m not sure women understand this.

How much does that happen? Probably all the time. It’s men’s fantasy need of having a car or motorcycle that reminds them of a childhood toy that they loved. Then they imagined they were a superhero on that vehicle and some adult males still do it. They get a life-sized one and keep the fantasy going. It’s objectification that transfers over to sex with a woman. I suppose this underlies the barely clad woman advertising a car that is so nauseating to us.

It’s something to keep in mind that men probably watch a tremendous amount of porn because they can’t express their sexual feelings as much as they need to or the way they want to in our civilization that shames it. Most men are not relational, not romantic and don’t want to be yet many women need that to be turned on! If he acquiesced, he would be too much like a woman and he’s not a woman, he’s a man, which means he’s a part wild animal, part human. Not all men are of course but most of them are. It’s scary for some women like me when they turn wild animal. I guess other women like it.

I think that men project a lot onto women, as though it’s our issue, about how turned on they are by feeling ashamed, nasty, or mean. OR…is shame projected on to them from all sides FOR BEING male as though they are expected to be like that even if they are not? The writer I read didn’t say that in her blog or maybe she doesn’t understand it.  I think men get turned on by feeling repulsed. They’re attracted to women and things that are not nice and that are uncivilized and wild. It’s all that testosterone blasting through their brains that blows everything up. It’s the opposite of most women. I know some women are attracted to pain and ugliness, like a sadistic thing but it’s not terribly common. Still, I’m not judging it. Nevertheless, I am not that way.

It appears to me that everything in our civilization exists as it is to control men’s sexual nature and make things peaceable for women and children. Before, most of the time it was working. NOW, society seems to be tearing itself apart because men’s sexual nature is finally coming to the surface, there is more awareness of abuse of women and children, guns are everywhere which men love (you don’t see women using them in public much), we see incest, pedophilia, and sex trafficking at the highest levels of institutions, all the lies, and control about it are coming forward, the institutions don’t know exactly how to lie about it anymore. Men are victims of the system too otherwise they wouldn’t be victimizing those more vulnerable than them. It’s a trickle-down from the women and men in power who hold the system in place.

Civilization uses guilt, shame, control, incarceration, blaming women, sports, and the media all to LIE about men’s sexual nature. I guess we’re still working on a balance to our civilization as though it’s progressed from being in the wild. Sometimes I think it’s worse because it represses the true feelings and then they explode to the surface.