Essay; No Thank You #2- I’d Rather Have This. ~ Response to Dina Leygerman, 2017 The Women’s Movement


I have a boundary to set with the commentators on #1 of this post.  I am an extremely open-minded person that listens to how people feel for a living.  I’ve been doing it for twenty years. You are welcome to comment, of course, on the ideas I put forward.  But I will cut you off if you simply slam and criticize in anger and negativity in the comments section.  I ask that you make constructive criticism, helpful comments regarding a perspective I may not have seen.  You have to be civil to me.  I don’t allow myself to be mistreated by anyone, for any reason.

I had 4000+ views on my response to Dina since I posted it 6 days ago and many agreed with me and a few did not.  I have observed that between WordPress and Facebook and the women I talk to directly, there is an emotional savior complex among women, “we’re in this together”, “don’t deviate” attitude.  It’s a very patriarchal attitude and very “churchy” and sacrificial.  That is not the kind of movement I will join because in the end it’s controlling and selfish.  Women need to take care of themselves and ask for what they want and need and then ask others to join them.  It’s empowerment and in my life, it’s based on Spirituality.  Everyone is different and no preaching is necessary.

#1  HEALTH OF OUR BODIES AND MINDS and learning how to ask for what we need with regard to it.

I would like women’s health care and women’s right to control our bodies to be a focus.  To a great degree, we can do much of this for ourselves.  I live in my body 24/7 and it belongs to me.  Especially in holistic medicine, my health is in my hands.  But for some women, it’s not as simple.  For now, we need both allopathic and holistic health care.

I’ve also seen many, many comments that not all women from all opinions and persuasions are being welcomed into the movement; in particular, women who do not support abortion and women who prefer peace, not a closed fist.  I personally know two women who voted for Trump just on that issue alone.  If feminists are discussing women’s bodies and feelings about reproduction, we need to just LISTEN to the feelings and ideas from all corners.  It does not have to be in our platform or in our legislative agenda per se, but we owe it to all women to listen to their point of view if it’s presented in a civil manner.

Since I’m on the issue of civil manner, a women’s movement will in no way be taken seriously by Congress or anyone intelligent who could potentially fund the movement unless we stop the drama, the anger, the religious fanaticism, and the intolerance for those that don’t agree with us.

#2-Passage of the Equal Rights Amendment to the Constitution of the U.S.

  • Section 1. Equality of rights under the law shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of sex.
  • Section 2. The Congress shall have the power to enforce, by appropriate legislation, the provisions of this article.
  • Section 3. This amendment shall take effect two years after the date of ratification.

That’s the whole thing and it still hasn’t been passed.  I just saw this online and I couldn’t believe it.

There is already an Equal Pay Act of 1963 signed by JFK.  Women need to read it, know the law and make sure it’s enforced in any job you take.  You can find it online.  Be brave!

————————————————————————–

I’m stating this and anyone else who feels this way can wrap their mind and heart around it.  Essentially, these are mental mantras that you repeat to yourself over and over, or in a small group to set positive energy.  These are not demands or expectations. This is a list of what I want and maybe some other women will as well.

  • I want to be a happy woman and for everyone else to be happy as well
  • I want to be a thriving woman and for everyone else to thrive as well
  • I want to advocate for myself in confidence
  • I want to step up to who I really am and be honest
  • I want to hear happy-hearted women lead the movement the loudest
  • I want to know that everything is working out for each of us as individuals
  • I want to live interdependently, not co-dependently or addicted as a woman
  • I want to live safely in the world as a woman
  • I want to know that no matter how many times attempted victimization is foisted on me, I do not have to accept the feeling of being a victim or the label of being a victim. I want to know that I have the right to be here, to be in my body, and to choose my life as I see fit.
  • I want to know that Source energy, female and male, uphold me in my empowerment
  • I want affordable healthcare for my female body.
  • I want access to licensed, professional, holistic medicine for my female body and my children.
  • I want my children to live safely in the world, playful and eager
  • I want more people on Earth to feel better
  • I want more stability and security as a woman
  • I want to be safe and secure in my home as a woman
  • I want the household chores split equally in my home
  • I want sex to be discussed openly and our sexual needs met equally in my home
  • I demand to be treated as an equal in my home with a male mate
  • I want to be equal among humanity as a woman
  • I accept the different sexual expressions and orientations of other women
  • I do not support violence as a woman, from me, to me or my children
  • I do not support the societal over-objectification of women’s looks for profit
  • I want to thrive as a woman
  • I want to work in a robust economy as a woman
  • I want more of my own money and control of it as a woman
  • I want equal access to bank loans as a woman
  • I want to be listened to and respected as much as men as an intelligent woman
  • I demand credit for my work and my ideas in the workplace as a woman
  • I want to have more fun as a woman
  • I want to feel at ease in my community as a woman
  • I want to see people in affinity with me safely, around the world, as a woman
  • I want to appreciate everyone’s point of view even if we’re not in agreement, as a woman
  • I want to feel balance in diversity as a woman
  • In this movement, in my female circles, I want me or my women friends to speak first and lead before a male.  This is OUR TIME to come forward on behalf of all women in the world who want to be happy, healthy, and empowered to have a good life.  We do it in the way only women can.

 

 

Essay; Third Wave Feminism. You could Unclench your Fist, Open your hand and Meditate to Bring Real Change.


This dates me.  Women’s values and perspective change with the new generation.  I was born in 1963 so I am at the tail end of the hippie generation (1945-1965).

I’ve always seen the imbalance in power between the genders.  First and second-wave feminism really helped bring light to the problem and I have no problem being grateful for those lessons that leading women bestowed on us.  I will never characterize it as a blood sacrifice though.  I will never heed a call to war and I will never begin hating others just to be a so-called “dominant woman”.  I will also never hark back to the old pagan days of matriarchy that denigrated men.

But this latest seed of misandry, hatred of men from the younger women, no thanks. Since WHEN? have women viewed the energy of heart LOVE as weak compared to that of anger?  Maybe we’re not defining love the same way.  We’ll have to have a discussion between all of us, including the men.  Maybe it’s time to define our terms.

If this latest feminist display continues to embody just mouthpieces or anger and rant, misandry and hate, intolerance of women who express themselves differently, women who are raising loving, hetero males who want to have sex with a woman someday, and no support of LOVE, EDUCATION, THINKING, and ENLIGHTENMENT, No thanks!

This video is excellent making light of the Third Wave of Feminism that is bad seed.  It’s toxic and could destroy women’s empowerment.  You can’t empower yourself by tearing someone else down, including men.

 

Essay; No Thank You. My Response to ~ Dina Leygerman, 2017 attitude about the Women’s March-#1


I have taken out what Dina Leygerman wrote previously.  Her writing can stand on its own and my writing can stand on its own.  Be mindful though, that I responded to her original piece and I’ll be adding thoughts and ideas as time moves forward.

NO THANK YOU with regard to Dina’s attitude and approach to feminism. The women who’ve gone before us can be our examples if we listen and learn. I’m a free woman and so are millions of others. No woman gave us our voice. We were born with it and we cultivate it ourselves. At most you could say God gave you your voice and your mother in utero.

There is no amount of pain and sacrifice that will increase what has already been given to us in abundance. These women were teachers who did what they wanted to do, from what they felt from inside of them. I doubt they would characterize what they did as some kind of holy sacrifice. Their example of feeling bold within themselves to say how they felt was where the power was not a sacrifice!

Because we watched and listened, observed and learned from them, we find ourselves where we are now, not because of them. They were not a necessary Jewish blood sacrifice in the spirit of the Old Testament whose values were perpetrated onto Jesus Christ. There is no necessary blood sacrifice!

We do nothing to earn our rights. We are born into these rights.  We reap the benefits of watching and reading about these women, strong women, women who fought misogyny and pushed through patriarchy and fought for themselves and everyone like them.

There was so much jealousy, resentment, and disdain I read in the first article because many women have not freed their own souls and come to love themselves.  No one is on a pedestal. Being a student of change is not complacent. Some people prefer peace to resistance. Many people, not just women, are deluded about blood, guts, sacrifice, and pain is a good thing and is brainwashed and emotionally injured by religion and Christianity.  I was raised in a rigid religion!  I know what it feels like and what it takes to free myself from the clutches of family expectation and denial.  I know the feeling of being alone in a new place, knowing no one but feeling free because my family cannot control my heart, my mind, and my feelings! We do not have to live in a provincial world where we are constantly channeling our ancestors and being freaked out by what our small town or our family might think of us!  

 WE ARE equally loved and cared for in the eyes of the Universe.   WE ARE equal in that we each have a BODY, a MIND, and a SPIRIT.  WE ARE equal in that we have a certain amount of TIME on this planet to take our own inclinations and ideas and write, do, or create something new.  Turn your media off and tune into YOUR BODY, YOUR BREATH, YOUR BEATING HEART.  

Human beings are each different. Women are different than men. Repeat that over and over.  Yes, we each have male and female in us but we have very different brains.  That’ s all been studied.  Women who do not want to act like men or hate men do not deserve to be bashed by angry women. You do not embody love if you think you can tell another woman or another human being WHO THEY ARE. It’s evil and weak.

 Not all women feel victimized and dis-empowered because they know how to take care of themselves!  Women who get the education they need, do the hard work, make hard choices, stay focused and disciplined can excel beyond most men in every way. It’s up to the woman!!!

As far as our bodies, we have more access to contraceptives in the drug store than we ever have. We have more knowledge about how our bodies work than ever before.  Women still always do whatever they want physically. They find a way and always have. Be resourceful.  We have the choice to sit in our bodies and feel them, pay attention to how they process, pay attention to when our bodies clench and when they release.  We each sit in our body 24/7.  The government, the Church, nor the doctor sit in your body AT ALL.  You do.

A woman can learn martial arts!!! Men are attacked too.

As far as pregnancy, It is a choice to financially plan for all of that before you get pregnant. If you want to be in control of your body, control your pregnancies too!  Pregnancy happens in the body so take control of your pregnancy!  Breastfeeding in public is no different than going topless in public.  No matter what the reason, men don’t walk around without pants on, neither do women, and women don’t fully expose their breasts in public for any reason.  That’s our culture.  Most people are not opposed to breastfeeding in public. They’re opposed to nudity.  I’m not opposed to nudity at all but I love and know my body and accept every type of body on my work table.  Just cover up a bit.  It’s simple.

Men are objectified as much as women.

Men are cat-called on FB and in strip clubs. I just saw a FB friend extol her husband’s ass on FB. If a man did that he’d be called out and chastised. I tend to fawn over men’s bodies with my friends. I do it like I m appreciating art or a tree; not for lust.  My attraction to a man is based on emotional bond.

Men are sexualized too.  Men are judged for their weight too.  Men are told they need to appear young too and are sold products to do that.  The brand of car a man drives and how much money he has mattered more than his degree too to very superficial women.  Men are physically and emotionally abused by women.  Wow…is that ever taboo.  Many women are much crueler than men and the tone of this movement has empowered women to be as defensive and violent as ever.

Don’t get me wrong.  Women and men have the right to defend themselves in the face of aggression from anyone!   But not all men are aggressive.  And it’s not good for a woman to always feel like she is in defense mode.  It is an option to set up your life so that you can live alone or with another woman who is peaceful.  It’s true that many men have a self-control problem.  I believe it’s because our society treats sex as though it’s bad.  My personal observation is that women want to have sex more than men these days.  Again, body issues have been perverted by the Church.

You are still worse off if you are a man or woman of color, a gay woman or man, or a transgender woman or man. You are still harassed, belittled, dehumanized.  This too depends on your vibe and how you carry yourself. There are many exceptions.

My son expected to know math and be a football jock before he is respected as the artist he is, who is terrible at math, and who loves martial arts, not football.

He is told be nice to girls no matter how aggressive and sexual over-acting they are to him, even though HE wants to love a girl and be in a relationship before he has sex because I raised him to be loving to women and men. It’s up to mothers how they raise their son

If you keep telling yourself that you are a victim you will be.  Your kids will be too. My son does have equal rights in our culture of bias toward males who are kind, loving, artistic, and brilliant.

Women will not get happier by joining with an unhappy, angry feminist party and they certainly won’t be empowered.  Do you really believe that the world will get better by all the unhappiness and suffering you add to it?

No one will walk for my son. He will walk for himself if he feels like it. Each woman has the power to walk and advocate for herself if she learns by example. You have no right to tell women who they are, how they should feel, or what they should do. That makes you as bad as the patriarchal men you say you are resisting. And on that note, you prove the point that you become that which you resist and hateWe need a better strategy with regard to being a co-creator with all that is loving and good.

Lisa Townsend, 1/23/17

Essay; Bashing the Women’s March?


Expansion-Paige Bradley
Sculpture by Artist Paige Bradley

Day three and already I see FB posts of women bashing the Women’s March attendees. Not cool…at all. I do already feel like an empowered woman and in no way a victim despite events around me that I had no control over. I’ve worked tooth and nail for that. I wasn’t drawn to go to the event because I take care of myself, I’m single, I have my own money (not rich yet), and own a home. I’m 2-3 steps out from patriarchal oppression just because of that (not that it still couldn’t do me in).

But for some women to say, “You shouldn’t choose to feel like a victim” when in fact, we live in a country that is run by institutionalized patriarchy, is pure denial.

Q: Are you married to a male and have his children?

Q: Are you subsidized by the money he makes? Sure, you make money, but are you educated enough, work hard enough, are organized enough, have good credit enough to stand on your own two feet alone financially like most men could, single?

Sure they can stand on their own. The system is set up to support men to make more money than women!!  There are tons of studies folks, of sexual harassment in the workplace and men taking credit for women’s accomplishments.

If your answers are yes to those questions, you’re a kept woman by patriarchy and probably don’t even realize it because it’s such a largely held value for women. You have unwittingly chosen to put yourself in a place to be victimized by the ENTRENCHED institution of patriarchy.

A Woman’s march isn’t going to solve that but women need to support one another, not bash and try to one up. Until women have

EQUAL education,

EQUAL intelligence,

EQUAL amounts of our own money,

EQUAL opportunity for homeownership and other buying power,

stop bashing the women out there who against HUGE odds and trauma have had to directly deal with a system that is rigged against them. Come out from behind your man and your Bible and face your own fear and oppression of what… life… would be like…. without a man’s protection,

because by nature, they can easily prey on you if you’re alone and it has happened to me since my mates have died.

HILLARY KNEW ALL OF THIS AND WAS TRYING TO HELP CHANGE THE INSTITUTION TO EVEN THINGS OUT!

And now we have Donald and his followers, who think it’s more empowering for women to be pretty rather than vocal and intelligent, wear short skirts, push their breasts up as high as possible and sell perfume and jewelry.  Yeah, that’s empowering like it is for a cow to get branded on the farm by a hot iron.  Fucking idiots.

 

 

Prose; The Garden Lies Fallow


The night was lovely,

As soon as he walked in the door we wanted to inhale each other…raw attraction for months now.  Sometimes you wait to see if it goes away.   It’s not going away.

But we didn’t go there because we’re “developing” our bond so that we’re both emotionally happy with ourselves and feeling centered…

So, I contained the tide of passion for the next forty-five minutes.

We sat on the couch, looked each other in the eye, so hot, talked about our kids, so warm and loving, opened Christmas gifts to each other on January 18 and drank peppermint tea.

We were each charmed with our mutual bestowals.

This was loving and literate foreplay between two artists.  Not to lead to sex exactly, but very possibly and very mutually.

This was heart foreplay, not to be taken lightly.  I kept talking and he stopped me mid-sentence and started the delicious kissing before he had to leave.

Why is he starting the kissing before he has to leave?  Why?

Then he half picked me up and threw me on the couch!!!!

I felt like a startled cat and giggled like a fresh teenager.

Mind you, we’ve already been intimate, but I’m an artist.  I’m a lover, an authentic, intelligent woman, warm, sensitive, deep.  No regular man is going to do for me.  This has to be an…

eccentric…

super intelligent…

foxy face…

a strong body…

sweet, wonderful kisses.

I love his hair and his lips.

So….back to the story.

Wow…we had these little whisper chats with each other…

Ahhhhh, it was all good, as he lay next to me but…

He has a sort of broken heart, the kind of disconsolate, forlorn vibe that starts to sink like a rock and close the heart shutter that started to burst open.

I am… so aware of what that is.

It warns a man…don’t…go there…she will eat you alive…

I swear, I wonder if that’s what he thinks.

It could be other emotions but we women, or maybe just me, sometimes think that men are heartless.

This one isn’t.  He’s a writer too.

He has to mend his broken heart and I totally, absolutely, understand

that demolished rupture, the broken mirror, the belief in self that

just says…I don’t love myself enough to love you.

I feel like a failure.  I’m not good enough for you.

It’s the trouble with the world.

How epidemic is the guilt, the sorrow, the cynicism, the pain______

And the woman’s garden lies fallow.

You can march and resist all you want about this man who is supposed to be our leader who grabs and insults women.  Most men are like him…not connected to their heart and addicted to something.  It’s the men’s fate.  Most women act from their hearts.  It’s in our bodies.

I think each woman just needs to be loved by a man (or woman) with an open heart who we can love in return and I really doubt it exists.

Religion teaches men to hate women unless they marry them and then control them. Then they feel even more free to hate them.

It’s never going to work.  Men are based in ego and women are based in love.

stock-footage-alone-man-standing-on-the-seashore

 

 

 

Mindset; Reflection


Dali-Ventana

These are the first few paragraphs from my book “Healer” which will be published in 2017.

I have a roving passion for putting the pieces together when it comes to my history and relationships.  I can sit with it pensively if I have some tea but that gets old.  It’s too curious not to talk about it.

Many people who know me would say I’m a deep thinker and that I think an awful lot, that I’m different or odd.  Excessive introspective rumination can be hard on the body and fattening to the ego, but if the heart is involved, I’ve found that it balances out.  I feel I do balance out my passion like two people on a teeter-totter.  It is much more fun if your weight is about equal between the mind and the body.

Being a writer, I’m not the kind of person to just let the puzzle pieces float in the air like fireflies.  I want to grab them, bring them down to earth and figure out why they glow by themselves.  I’m not sure why my life has been so fragmentary and synchronous compared to others but it has.  I don’t resist it.  I accept it and even try to be nobly entertained by it.  I hope I can offer you a different perspective and show you another shrouded angle that you’ve never heard of to give you pause.

I did plenty of raucous, carefree, haphazard living in my youth that was far from serious, but my quality of life went up when I balanced it with being focused and serious as well.  Life isn’t all kittens, flowers, and platitudes.  Sometimes you have to buy a plane ticket and fly somewhere you’ve never been before; even meet people you’ve never met before. No matter where I went, I felt like someone was watching over me and I was safe.  I wasn’t particularly taught that as a child but I can’t remember feeling any other way.  That feeling is like my favorite sweatshirt or my favorite pair of silky dress pants that hang well on my waist.

Continued in my book, available on Amazon

 

Everyday Spirituality; How I Hook Up To Source Energy


fall leaves

Well, first off, as it is on Earth for most people, the losses, traumas, and deaths pile up to the point where you might not want to be here anymore. I m just being honest.  Sometimes we all feel like it’s ridiculous, like this last election cycle.  WTH?  Then I check in with myself and say, “Nope, I m still having fun, enjoy my body, sex, food, friends, my son, my work, the seasons, music, you name it.”

My question in the midst of it is, “How can I make sense of this suffering I witness most others going through and my own?”  The first thing I do is realize were all in this together. No one, anywhere, is immune from the soul lessons here. I don’t believe in fortunate or unfortunate, lucky or unlucky. Don’t ya think we make our own fortune by our choices?  It’s a big well we can dip into with our mind and heart. When I dip into that well, that’s how I connect to Source.

It’s universal to want to connect emotionally and physically to others. I feel that is an inclination from Source and I let my body feel it. Making art together, cooperating, joining together for a just cause. All of that connects us to Source because Source is in us.

I don’t recommend feeling sorry for yourself for too long or you won’t get the wisest use out of your limited time in the body. Everyone goes through the dark night of the soul. You could use that experience to grow. Feel the depth of it, go into those emotions and what other people think of your “negativity” be damned while you’re figuring it out.  I did it by myself and called on my friends. I didn’t use a counselor, although you could.  I journal and I wrote a book.

I’ve been hooking to Source energy every day for about 25 years now in all of those varied ways.  I make sure I live in a peaceful, non-violent environment. I eat well and exercise so I like my body and can feel its rhythms. In this way, I can watch my breath as I close my eyes and drop my mental focus. Now I pay attention to every body part starting at the head and going down. I have a body balancing technique I use that includes color and Reiki.

I affirm to Spirit/God that I m here to serve and love all life. I affirm that I promise to love myself as best I can in order to do that.  I give myself permission to detach from people that are not loving or loving to me or don’t like me, then do something called “bless and release” instead of cursing or hating them. If I focus/pray about one person, a flood of intuitions come in about that person because I am in receive mode from Source. I see people and events unfold like a movie and it’s been happening all of my life. I note all of that in my memory.

I wish well for everything in front of me no matter what state it’s in. I ask for a revelation on specific issues on which I have a question and always listen for the answer. The universe knows I listen and respect them💜. They impart information to those that believe and listen.

So, love and take care of yourself, join with others doing something creative that you love, accept that everyone goes through a dark night of the soul and you’re not alone, have as much freaking sex with whoever you want to stay healthy, and follow your intuition.  Don’t hesitate to walk away from people who don’t get you or don’t like you.  You’ll know because you’ll feel bad around them.

You can rampage it on this planet and be free. It’s not worth it to follow, obey, or sit it out because it’s going to be over before long anyway.

 

Essay; Marriage is Prison for Some Women


 

woman in prisonOne of the main comments I’ve heard from women patients in my office is, “I want to be alone, not married. I wish I was free and single like you.” Many women feel like prisoners in their marriage and their physical ailments and stress level are consequently very high.

I bet many married men say it to single guy friends too, but I wonder. I’ve heard men benefit far more from marriage than women do and suffer more in divorce.  Most women thrive after divorce.

What are we looking at here?

Marriage is an institution where you’re seeking the sanction of church or state with a license and/or a ceremony but what are your true motivations for doing it?  Maybe the institutions function like an agricultural stockade where animals are inspected, traded and sold. You’ve heard of animal husbandry. Well, when a woman gets married her mate is called her husband which makes her a reproductive animal in society’s view. So maybe marriage is primarily suited for only young women in their reproductive years who want to have children. And many young women who get married don’t necessarily want children. Then maybe they shouldn’t get married.

I think it’s time to retire these outmoded ideas regarding a woman’s relationship with her mate. Marriage isn’t always necessary. Balance of power between a woman and man needs to be discussed and kissed about.  We can be monogamous with each other because we want to be, not because somebody said we should. It’s nobody’s business but the couple and is becoming outdated due to woman’s empowerment. It’s a good thing.