Essay; Healing Toxic Masculinity


hungry manI continue to be very impressed with Cassidy Cayne’s blogs on Twin Flame 11:11 when she shares with all of us what she is receiving directly from Spirit. It keeps happening that I open up her writing, and it’s exactly what I’ve heard from Spirit as well on the same issue with my Twin Flame, so it fabulous confirmation from week to week. It’s part of being an Intuitive.

Twin Flames 11:11 This weeks post

It has been on my heart of late that indeed, there is a collective karmic community of male energy that men as a whole on the planet are processing. I know the women seem to be getting all the attention and all the votes publicly which is fabulous, and I absolutely believe it’s time for women to lead. But it’s also time for men to be supported and free to heal from all the defending, emotional repression, expectations, pressure and harm that they’ve been programmed to act on over millennia.

Their hearts are hurt and they carry loads of guilt and trauma from societies expectation on them to the point of severe depression, alcoholism, and anxiety. I believe men suffer more from that than women do.  I’ve blogged on this before but men have feelings too. They’re set up biologically different than women but it doesn’t make them mostly divergent from us. All told, we are very similar as human beings.

In the article found at the link above, she talks about how common it is for men to pull away or to run because they believe they hurt women and may even say that. In order to protect us, who they deem as better or purer than them, they run away as though they are some troll from a Disney movie. I’ve known most men to do this and I’ve never understood the insecurity until now. The reason I haven’t understood it is that I find most men adorable and while they have no problem looking and talking to me lustily, they’re not very warm or kind. That’s when my shields go up.

My question has always been, “Why can’t you just be humane and treat me like a normal human being instead of a chicken sandwich to eat when you’re hungry?” I believe it’s because they’re programmed to be inhumane. They’re expected to be that way the same way women are programmed to be critical of our bodies and other women’s bodies, to compete with other women on every score, and to look as pretty as we can and smile. We’re NONE of that and many of us are getting damn sick of feeling the pressure to objectify ourselves so men can prey on us. We don’t exist for men to consume and many of us don’t need coupling!

Anyway, the genders are shifting quickly. I’m trying to keep up and hopefully, my Twin Flame is keeping up inside of himself as well. I highly recommend you check out the article!

Re-Program; Serial Dysfunction; The Need to Fix or Control Events Around You


I’m still seeing this in people’s behavior near me and in society, but not as much. It’s an unwillingness to feel your real feelings in the middle of an event, something tragic or good that is happening, or in a close relationship. I’ve said this before and it bears saying again. It’s not about indulging or staying in emotion but letting it flow like water down a stream. You need to stop trying to do so much around the event and for other people when it’s happening and sit with them, empathize, have compassion, not pity, and be quiet. It is only in that way that trust is garnered between people. Being bossy or authoritative will always be resented by human beings. Boss yourself around, not others. BYOB could mean “Be your own boss” and there wouldn’t be a need to “Bring your own booze.”

I’ve seen it over and over in my office. Human beings appreciate firm, loving boundaries and to hear your expertise, but don’t tell them what to do or how to feel or they have the right to resist you in any way they can and they will. A parent doing this to adult children or nearly adult children is particularly dysfunctional. You need to live your own life if you’re trying to live your life through your kids.

Sometimes just being there and just listening is all someone needs! Most of the difficulty in life cannot be fixed or controlled and it is incredibly obnoxious to be around someone who wants to do that when you as an individual are capable of feeling and flowing with your deep feelings, negative or positive, whatever it may be! Your body can only be aligned if you go into that alone or with one other person. Repressed emotions kill people! Overly indulged emotions kill people too so there is a balance called for. A professional therapist and Reiki treatments really help. It’s called high blood pressure, stroke, and addictive behaviors, so it’s fairly serious.

The elements of our society that think it’s funny, ridiculous, or immature to actually be authentic in expressing how you feel are psychologically damaged and need to stop projecting their denial onto others, making fun of them or being abusive. It’s a type of bullying. Repressed emotion leading to addiction isn’t funny; it’s tragic and we see it in the increased level of suicide, including the slow kind; society sanctioned alcoholism, sex crimes, drug addiction, religious addiction, materialism, and hate crimes.

I guess I’m a big hippie. Peace and Love baby. Here’s to a happier, healthier world that’s sober and creatively passionate.

peace-sign

 

 

Body Truth; An Addict’s Ability to Project is Prolific


My experience and intuition tell me that this happens when a person isn’t in control of their own body, habits, and life. It’s ultimately a health issue and usually tied to addiction. I grant that at the root of addictive behavior are deep emotional wounds, likely from childhood and unconscious or subconscious mind, and that we each want to feel better physically and emotionally and be freer. But at whose expense? It should be at your own expense. The rest of us should not be at the receiving end of your unwillingness to get some help. No one expects deep addiction issues to be handled alone. But the least we ask is that you not offload onto we civilians who are not professionals and seek professional help. I’m guessing there isn’t one person on the planet who doesn’t intimately know an active addict and it breaks everyone’s hearts; mostly your children.

It doesn’t matter how much you love someone or if they are your soul mate or your twin flame; the committed addict ruins everything. They have to use a drug to nullify their feelings and make every excuse in the book to use it and even break the law to justify it. Gee, what would that be? Civil disobedience to unjust laws that protect the public from irrational behavior while you’re on the substance or god forbid, you’re driving while on something?

You have to move on. There is no choice here or you will go down with their ship. It’s not worth it.

Alcoholism and other addictions are epidemics in our society and I’m so sick of dealing with it everywhere I turn. The weirdest part is when there is memory loss regarding communication. Even when you have proof of what they said in an email or text and they deny it. It’s unbelievable that someone can still attempt to pin a behavior on you when you have proof that they are the ones behaving that way. Goodbye. No trust.

I guess the definition of an addict is someone who is completely out of touch with their feelings and haven’t a clue what the truth is for them. So they go haphazardly through life, screwing up all of their relationships with friends, co-workers, employees, mates, and children. You would think that would be incentive enough to get some help but I’m guessing they’d just as soon stay in denial and lazy about getting a grip and fixing it. They have no inner courage.

Those deep wounds aren’t anyone else’s’ problem but theirs no matter how hard they try to tell you there is something wrong with you. That is the projection and there is no end to it. There is such a thing as an innocent party who is just learning that you are abusing a substance to the point of behavior change. Once we learn that they are not cogent, then it’s our responsibility to walk away and let the chips fall where they will. Otherwise, you’ll get into co-dependency instead of interdependency and that’s not going to help anyone.

Co-dependent is enabler and addict depending on one another to keep the addiction going. Health, money, structure, and life is in chaos for both. It’s a destructive cycle and no one is healthy or happy. All of your relationships are screwed up and most people who know you are mad at you.

Interdependent means you both are in charge of your own lives, know how you feel, express it, take care of yourself, have friends who like you and you like them, have your money and things organized, are able to say you’re sorry, and like any normal human being, have needs and want to depend on someone for support once in a while. Let’s hope we can pair up with the people we truly deserve, not the ones we don’t.

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